Cast No Shadow
by RoutineRiot
Summary: Vaughn is kiddnaped and tourtured by Slone What happens when he comes home and Syd has to deal with the aftermath? Most characters from the show. Francie is not evil SV. WF. And lost of other ships but will will just have to read to find out.
1. Missing

Athough I did not write this srory I am posting it here because I love it so much. I put who this belongs to in the Summary. If ypu like this check out her other story at Please review.

"**CAST NO SHADOW"**

All Alias characters are copyrights of ABC television and JJ Abrams. I don't own a thing; so don't sue me…no copyright infringement is intended. The doctors at Good Samaritan are real, and I just picked some names, so don't sue me over that either. The only characters that are mine are Dr. Ramsay & Dr. Tom and the Evil Nurse & her Equally Evil Orderlies (it'll all make sense later…). In addition, the title of the story and subsequent song comes from Oasis, and no infringement is intended there either. I love Oasis, and I'm proud of it! It's my one guilty pleasure besides fan fiction. Long live the Ho's! Kahlil Gibran was awesome, so I use a lot of quotes from his book, but credit is given where credit is due. That should sufficiently cover my ass, now on with the story…

But not before the Spoilers: After "Truth Takes Time" but before the really crappy last two minutes of the season finale. No matter what JJ says, until my delusion is ruined in September, MY Alias world consists of Vaughn & Sydney together and happy damnit! JJ better have our favorite duo back together in like episode three or I'm picketing in front of his house…So, forget everything else that happened after TTT (except the fun sex parts and the drawer…and Kerry…yeah, that should do it). Oh, and I don't like scary, freaky Francie, so she's not a weird double. Michael Vartan is a God!

_"Here's a thought for every man who tries to understand what is in his head.  
He walks along the open road of love and life, surviving if he can.  
Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say,  
Chained to all the places that he never wished to stay,  
Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say,  
As he faced the sun he cast no shadow.  
As they took his soul, they stole his pride.  
As they took his soul, they stole his pride.  
As they took his soul, they stole his pride.  
As he faced the sun he cast no shadow." _– Oasis, "Cast No Shadow"

* * *

Chapter 1: Missing

_"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." – T. E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia)_

Sydney entered the CIA office like any other morning. The only difference was that this was one of the few mornings that she and Vaughn had not arrived together. They had left separately because Vaughn had to go in early. She nodded and chatted with a few other agents on her way to Vaughn's desk. When she reached it, she was surprised to see that there seemed to be no sign of him. She found Weiss around the coffee machine, greedily eating a doughnut.

"Weiss, have you seen Vaughn this morning?" Sydney inquired.

"Um…no, I haven't seen him yet…what you mean you too little bunnies didn't come in together?" said Weiss in between bites.

"No, he had to get here early for a meeting. I wonder where he is…his computer isn't even turned on and his jacket isn't by his desk either. He should have been here hours ago."

"Are you worried he found someone else? Oh! Maybe he stopped for coffee, met some really hot chick and ran off with her!" joked Weiss.

"Eric, this isn't funny. Where is he?" Sydney replied seriously.

"Sorry, Syd. I didn't realize you were so worried. Let's ask around. We'll meet back at my desk in a few minutes, ok?" asked Weiss sympathetically.

"Yeah, ok," replied Sydney.

They both set off in opposite directions, asking various agents if they had seen Vaughn. After a few minutes, Sydney and Weiss met up again.

"Did you find anything out?" Sydney asked impatiently.

"No, nobody's seen him yet, at least not on this floor." Weiss proceeded gently. "What meeting did he have?"

Sydney was quiet a moment, and then said "I think he said he had a briefing with Kendall and my father about what happened in Tuscany. My father didn't think I needed to be there until later, when they started talking about where we go from here."

"Ok, well, let's find Jack. Maybe he's seen Mike." Weiss can tell that this really isn't settling Sydney at all. They find Jack a few minutes later.

Sydney anxiously interrupts the conversation Jack is having with Kendall. "Dad, have you seen Vaughn this morning? Oh, sorry to interrupt…"

Jack looks to Sydney "No, we haven't. In fact, we were about to ask you the same question."

Kendall then broke in "Yes, he missed the meeting we had scheduled."

"And you didn't think that was strange?" asked Sydney accusingly.

"Excuse me young lady, but Agent Vaughn's personal whereabouts are not my concern. His timeliness is only of concern to me if it affects his work performance. In this case, his failure to show up for our meeting is of concern to me, not why he was late."

"Sydney, did you see him earlier?" Jack asked, trying to get the situation back to the matter at hand.

"He left before me," she looked at Kendall, "to make it to his scheduled meeting this morning."

Kendall had a look of extreme dissatisfaction.

"Ok, so let's look at what we know," reasoned Jack, "we know he left and has yet to arrive. That doesn't necessarily mean anything terrible, he could have just had car trouble. Perhaps we should give him a few more hours, see if he calls."

"Why is everyone taking this so lightly?" Sydney yelled. "With all that's happened – my mother escaping and Emily being shot, there isn't a cause NOT to take this seriously. If he would have had car trouble, he would have called by now. The only reason he wouldn't have called would be because he can't call!"

"Look Agent Bristow, first, you need to calm down an–"

Sydney cut Kendall off, "Don't tell me to calm down! The longer we wait to see if Vaughn is going to call could be costing him his life. I'm not going to stand around and wait for that to happen." Sydney stormed off out of the Ops Center. Weiss had been watching the scene from afar and went after Sydney.

Jack called after her, "Sydney! Wait!"

He was just about to take off after her as well when Kendall replied, "Jack, you better wrangle your daughter. Her personal feelings are starting to conflict with her job. You may have the authority now, but that doesn't mean that you can favor your daughter as though she weren't an agent like everyone else. Her behavior is not beyond reproach."

"When my daughter needs wrangling, it'll be to pry her off of you. You're the one who played off of her emotions with Derevko. If Vaughn is in trouble, which she seems to be making an avid case for, then her emotions aren't unfounded. Her behavior in this situation is quite adept. I'm not going to discipline her like a schoolchild misbehaving. Now, if there is nothing else, I'm going to go help my daughter." With that, Jack turned and walked out of the Ops Center leaving an open-mouthed Kendall to ponder the conversation that had just taken place.

Three hours later, Sydney, Jack and Weiss had covered every inch of highway between Sydney's house and the CIA building. They found no trace of Vaughn anywhere. They moved onto Vaughn's apartment thinking maybe he stopped off there, but again reached a dead end. After discussing other alternate routes that Vaughn could have taken, Sydney suddenly realized that Vaughn could have stopped off for coffee as they sometimes did in the morning. Upon arrival at the coffee shop, Sydney was relieved to find Vaughn's car parked in the alleyway adjacent to the shop. She ran into the shop and frantically searched for Vaughn. However, there were few customers in the shop at this late hour of the morning. She made Weiss go check the Men's bathroom but Vaughn wasn't in there either. She immediately ran back out to the car, hoping to find some trace or clue of Vaughn's whereabouts. The keys were in the car but there was no sign of Vaughn and thankfully, Weiss' idea that Vaughn might have been stashed in the trunk was also unfounded.

"Damnit! We're back to square one!" screamed Sydney as the tears began to flow.

Jack went over to his daughter and placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Sydney, Kendall was right about one detail – you need to calm down if we are going to find Vaughn. You won't be any help to him if you don't use some reason here."

Sydney shook out of her father's embrace. "How can you say that? How can you be so calm? If this isn't evidence of Sloane's payback, I don't know what is!"

Weiss piped up, "We don't know that it's Sloane, Sydney." What was meant to be a comforting statement, only furthered to enrage her more.

"DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S SLOANE? Who the fuck else could it be? Most normal people don't just randomly pick off CIA Agents for fun!"

People on the street were stopping to look in their direction at Sydney's continued outbursts.

"Sydney, please, this isn't helping…Let's assume for the moment that it is Sloane that is behind Vaughn's disappearance," Jack placated. "That means that he will eventually want us to know that they have him. And no doubt he'll want something for Vaughn's safe return."

"Or he could just want revenge for his wife's murder and is taking it out on Vaughn or trying to hurt me through him."

"That is a possible scenario." Jack reluctantly agreed. The three stood in silence for a few moments, until Sydney could take no more.

"Ok, so, where do we go from here? What do we do now?"

Jack looked to Weiss whose head had dropped to look at the cement and then back to Sydney. "I'm sorry, Sydney, but really, all we can do is wait. Wait for Sloane to contact us with demands."

"And what if all he wants is Vaughn dead?" Sydney asked.

Jack had no answer for that question and he dared not think of what an affirmative answer to it would mean.


	2. The Call

**Chapter 2: The Call**

"On the human chessboard, all moves are possible." – Miriam Schiff

Ops Center, four hours later  
Sydney sat at Vaughn's desk looking longingly at the computer. If someone had walked past, they might have guessed that she was trying to will Vaughn to materialize out of the monitor. She swore if she tried hard enough, she could smell his aftershave all around his desk. This only served to remind her that the man she loved was missing, and no one could do anything about it. Weiss came over to her and sat a cup of coffee on the desk.

"Hey…how're you doing?" He stared at her for a moment but she did not respond.

He looked away for a moment and was about to leave when she said quietly, "I can't lose him Eric, not now, not ever. I can only imagine what they might do to him. And it would be my fault. I got him into this. He's there because of me." The tears started to fall again.

Weiss squatted down so he was closer to her. "Listen Syd, Mike doesn't think that way. He doesn't blame you. He made the choice; he's made a lot of choices to stay right where he is. You didn't put him anywhere, Sloane did this."

"What if they hurt him?" Sydney looked at him with tears falling continuously.

"He wouldn't ever blame you Syd. Ever. You hear me? I mean come on; you gave him a drawer right? How could he ever blame the person that gave him a drawer?"

Sydney smiled slightly. "He told you about that?"

Weiss smiled back. "Yeah, and let me tell you, no one has ever given me a drawer! He's damn lucky to have met you. And I know he feels that way, and do you know why?"

"No, why?"

"Because he told me…"

Sydney smiled and tried to wipe away some of the tears. "Thanks for the coffee Eric, and everything. You're a great friend."

"Yeah, that's what they pay me for. If you need anything else, let me know, ok?"

Sydney watched as he went back to his desk. She knew he was just as worried about Vaughn as she was. She drank some of the coffee and tried to focus on something other than the computer screen. She was lost in her thoughts when the shrill echo of her cell phone brought her out of her reverie. She took it out of her jacket pocket. "Hello?"

"Hello Sydney."

Sydney almost dropped the phone. "SLOANE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH VAUGHN!" Everyone in the Ops Center turned to look at Sydney. Weiss, Jack and half of the Ops Center made a semi-circle in front of her. Jack watched, trying to read Sydney's reactions.

"Now, now, Sydney. Is that anyway to greet me? I mean, what makes you think that I have Mr. Vaughn?"

"You have him you bastard. Why? Why Vaughn? Why not just come after me?"

"Well, that's not nearly as much fun, Sydney."

Sydney had conflicting emotions. Part of her wanted to hurl at the sound of this man's voice and throw the phone across the room, but the other part of her knew she had to listen because Vaughn's life depended on it.

"Look, I'm sorry about Emily. I loved her too, but it was an accident and it wasn't my fault and it wasn't Vaughn's fault either!"

"Sydney, that's so nice of you to say. I'm sure Emily would be pleased, but you see, I have nothing else to lose now. Emily is gone. I would have given it all up for her…but now, it just doesn't matter anymore…I know what loss feels like Sydney, as do you. I just want you to feel it one more time, because Danny's death was quick, Mr. Vaughn's will not be."

Sydney shuddered at the thought of Sloane's responsibility in Danny's death and started to shake at the prospect of what Sloane would have in store for Vaughn. She was in shock.

"Sydney, are you still there?" Sloane said in an almost mocking tone.

It took all of Sydney's composure not to yell at the top of her lungs at the man on the other end. "Yes, I'm here."

"Good."

"What do you want Sloane?" Sydney tried to keep an even tone.

"Hmm…that's such a complicated question. What I really want is Emily back, but since I know that's not possible, I seek to make you suffer."

"Emily wouldn't want that…" Sydney tried to reason.

"Well, probably not, she loved you like a daughter."

Sydney winced at that remark. Yet another person she let down.

"But that is of no consequence anymore, you see, Emily is gone, and she no longer has any wants."

"Sloane, name your price. What can I do to get Vaughn back?" Sydney hoped there was still something that he wanted.

There was dead silence at the other end of the phone and Sydney was beginning to panic. "Sloane?"

"Yes, I'm still here. I'm just thinking what I could possibly want that would warrant this man's life. Trouble is, I can't think of anything at the moment," Sloane replied coldly.

There was some muffled noise at the other end of the phone. Sydney swore she heard Vaughn's voice.

"Sloane! Is that Vaughn! Don't hurt him, please; I'll do whatever you want. Whatever the cost!"

The crowd that had gathered to watch the display of emotions over Sydney's face was brought out of their stupor by Kendall who made a move towards Sydney after she uttered her last sentence. He was stopped by Jack, who placed himself directly in front of Sydney. No words were exchanged, but by Jack's demeanor, Kendall knew to back down. His horns receded and he fell back into the crowd. Jack stayed in between the crowd and Sydney. She would have taken it as a heartwarming paternal gesture had she not been bargaining for Vaughn's life at the time.

Sloane laughed on the line and it made Sydney's blood run cold. Sloane was playing with her and she knew it.

"Sydney, I've already told you, there is nothing you have that I want. Do you want to speak to him one last time? I'll grant you that. I suppose I owe you that."

Sydney fought the tears that were brimming. "Yes…" She heard a scuffle again and then heard the voice that she had longed for all day. However, the voice was weak and strained.

"Sydney?"

"VAUGHN! Are you all right? What did he do to you? Can you tell me where you are?" She realized Sloane would never let him answer all those questions and decided to just let him talk a moment.

"I'm ok, don't worry. I'm sorry Syd."

"Oh God, Vaughn, no, don't be sorry."

"Sydney…….."

There was a long pause and for a moment Sydney thought he was gone, "Vaughn? Are you still there?"

"Sydney…I love you."

"Vaughn, I love you too. I'm coming to get you, do you hear me? I'm going to find you, ok? Just hang on!"

There was another scuffle on the other end and Sydney could decipher the sounds of punches being thrown.

"VAUGHN! VAUGHN!"

The voice was not who she wanted. "That was really quite moving Sydney, I must say, even I was touched."

"You bastard, if you hurt him, I swear I–"

"Please, Sydney, your threats are completely useless, and as far as the injuries go, he all ready has quite a few."  
Sloane let the last part of his sentence sink in before he continued. "It's been nice chatting with you again, I must say, I've missed hearing your voice…until we meet again." The line went dead.

"Sloane! SLOANE! NO!" Sydney was screaming through her tears. Then everything went black…


	3. The Call, Part 2 – Who is it

A/N: I'm not really the author so from now on the things I have to Say will be P/N for poster's notes. I hope you enjoy ch. 3 and review.

**Chapter 3: The Call, Part 2 – Who is it this time?**

_"God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right, even though I think it is hopeless." – Admiral Chester W. Nimitz_

* * *

Sydney woke up a few hours later on a cot in the sick bay. Jack was sitting quietly by the bed.

"Hello sweetheart…"

"Dad?"

"Yeah, it's me. How are you feeling?"

"How did I get here? We have to get Vaughn!" She bolted upright in the bed.

"Sydney, please, calm down. You were exhausted after your phone call with Sloane. I brought you in here to rest. We're doing everything we can to locate Sloane and Vaughn."

Sydney started to cry again. Jack moved to sit on her bed. She tried to pull it together, but it wasn't working very well. "Dad, Sloane is going to kill him. I could hear them beating him in the background."

"Sydney, we'll find him. He's strong, he'll make it."

"You have no way of knowing that…"

Jack was quiet again for a few minutes. "Sydney, tell me about the phone call…what did you hear, besides Sloane I mean. What background noises were there?"

Sydney tried to think and said, "There was a lot of scuffling noises, I think they were holding Vaughn, trying to keep him quiet."

"No, I mean did you hear any outside noises, that could give us a clue as to where Sloane was calling from."

"I don't know, Dad. I was too involved with what Sloane was saying and what was going on with Vaughn. I'm sorry, I should have been more attentive."

"No, no, sweetheart, that's ok. It's not important."

"YES! YES! It is important."

"We'll find him, Sydney…"

Sydney looked at her father and even with his best game face on, she knew there were doubts lingering in his eyes as well.

It had been three days since that fateful call from Sloane, three days of waiting, hoping. Three days of nightmares whenever she closed her eyes. Three days of terror. Three days and they still had no leads as to where Sloane was hiding and where he had Vaughn. Every morning, Sydney got up from a restless night of no sleep and nightmares and went to work. Every day she did the same thing, she looked for clues. The rest of the world went on with their lives, oblivious to Michael Vaughn's disappearance, but for the group of CIA Agents who knew him best, and one woman in particular, the world stopped and the search started. Sydney, Jack, Weiss, Dixon, Marshall, Kerry and a handful of other agents worked tirelessly trying to find leads that would result in the acquisition of their lost agent and friend. Three days turned into a week, and a week turned into 16 days and 16 days turned into 18 days. Kendall was growing more restless by the minute and Jack and he had a number of altercations. Day 19 started out like the previous 18 for Sydney. She followed the same routine and the morning progressed like the others had. Some agents were beginning to lose hope of ever finding a clue that would lead them anywhere near Vaughn. Sydney was at Vaughn's desk searching various records when her cell phone rang. The whole Ops Center went mute. Sydney said a silent prayer that this was the call that would end her search and result in Vaughn being back with her where he belonged. She closed her eyes as she brought the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hello, Sydney…"


	4. 19 days, 16 hours, 22 minutes, and 37 se

**Chapter 4: 19 days, 16 hours, 22 minutes, and 37 seconds**

_"Some things...arrive on their own mysterious hour, on their own terms and not yours, to be seized or relinquished forever." – Gail Godwin_

* * *

"MOM?"

"Sydney, you have to listen to me. If you want Vaughn back you must listen to me now, I don't have much time."

Sydney was silent for a moment and then replied, "How do I know this isn't a trick? How do I know you haven't all ready killed Vaughn and that this is a trap for me?"

Irina was silent a moment as well and then said in an even tone, "You don't…but you'll have to trust me if you want Vaughn alive. I told you Sydney, truth takes time. I meant that…"

"What does that mean? How am I ever supposed to trust you again? You've betrayed me more times than I can count, and that's just me. I mean–"

"Sydney!" Irina yelled. "You must believe me. Do you want Vaughn or not?"

There was no moment of hesitation this time, "Yes."

"All right, here's what you do…"

Less than an hour later, Sydney and a team that included Weiss, Jack and Dixon were on a plane bound for coordinates Irina had given them. Sydney sat nervously, hoping against hope that this wasn't another one of her mother's games, that this was real and Vaughn would be with her in a few short hours. Jack looked over at his daughter and could read what she was thinking. He gave her a small smile and a reassuring glance as they careened their way to their destination. When the plane landed, they set off for the warehouse that Irina had instructed them was holding Vaughn.

They entered through the side door by cover of darkness and made their way down the narrow pathway that Irina had described. They encountered the exact number of guards she had said and Sydney's hope started to grow.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, they reached the door that Irina had said Vaughn was behind. The agents got into position and in five…four…three…two…one…they burst through the door. No one, least of all Sydney, was prepared for what they found behind that fateful door. 19 days, 16 hours, 22 minutes, and 37 seconds had passed since Sydney had last seen Vaughn.

The man she encountered was not the man she had known.

Sydney gasped at the figure that lay on the cold, hard, cement floor. She flung herself down next to him and cradled his head. If she wouldn't have noticed the shallow and labored breathing, she would have thought that they were too late, and that he was dead. To say that he was a mess, that he was hurt, was understating every law known to man. Tears flowed freely as she said his name over and over and over. Other disjointed sentences held remnants of apologies and 'what have they done to you's.' The other agents were sympathetic to her situation but also realized they were in hostile territory. Jack and Weiss went over to the couple and tried to explain to Sydney that they needed to leave. Whether she understood or not, Jack, Weiss, Dixon and another agent gently lifted Vaughn's limp form off the floor as Sydney held his battered hand and walked alongside them. Other agents flanked them on all ends and they made their way back through the labyrinth of corridors that would lead them to safety. They weaved through the maze trying not to damage Vaughn any further and reached the surface just as their extraction vehicle was ready to leave. They eased Vaughn inside and left the horrors of the warehouse behind. What they didn't know was that the horrors were far from over and would follow them all the way back to Los Angeles.


	5. The Evaluation

P/N: Personally this is one of my favorite chapters. Please review

**Agent Pheonix**: Thanksd for the review. I'm glad you like it, and I will do double updates until the chapters get longer. I will let you know that the chapter will get to be long. Thanks again.

* * *

**Chapter 5: The Evaluation**

As a side note, my medical knowledge is limited to my years of watching George Clooney be really hot as Dr. Doug Ross on ER, so I really had no idea what to say. My theory at first was to go with "If it sounds good (or bad – hehe) than go with it." However, I did some research, and now I can at least talk somewhat intelligently about injuries I have for Vaughn. FYI, Good Samaritan is a hospital and the Drs. are real people – that I also did my research on…no infringement or disrespect is intended to Drs. Kerns or Groves…I just picked names…they should be honored…the doctor that appears later is my own creation.)

_"In the face of uncertainty, there is nothing wrong with hope." – Dr. Bernie Siegel_

_

* * *

_On the ride back, Jack tried to survey Vaughn's wounds. Sydney refused to leave him and spent the ride with his head in her lap. This made Jack's survey difficult, but he refused to take Vaughn away from her again. From the limited surveying, he could only say that Vaughn's injuries were severe and extensive at best. He couldn't make an accurate judgment, however, and they really had no clear picture of Vaughn's state. Vaughn was airlifted to Good Samaritan Hospital and he was wheeled into the emergency room with an entourage of people with him. Sydney never left his side and had to be escorted away by Jack when they reached the ER exam room. Sydney paced around the waiting room until Jack forced her to sit and eat something. About an hour later, Dr. Robert Kerns, M.D., introduced himself as the doctor who had seen Vaughn preliminarily 

Sydney was confused, "What do you mean preliminarily? Where is he?"

Dr. Kerns patiently responded, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name…"

"It's Sydney."

"Ok, Sydney. Mr. Vaughn has injuries that are far beyond the capability of the emergency room. He was transferred to surgery a few minutes ago. I assure you, Dr. Groves will take good care of him."

"Dr. Groves? Who the hell is he? What does Vaughn need surgery for?"

Jack stepped in, "Sydney, calm down. They are only doing their job."

"It's all right, Mr. Bristow, I understand that this has been a terrible ordeal for all of you. I'd be happy to talk with you about Dr. Groves' capabilities if you'd like. He's a great surgeon."

Sydney calmed slightly, "No, I'm sorry. It's just that we've only just found Vaughn, I don't want to lose him again."

"I understand. Why don't we sit down and we'll talk about his preliminary injuries."

They retreated to a consultation room that was quieter and private.

"Please sit. I'll give you a run down of Mr. Vaughn's condition and then I will try to answer any questions you might have."

"Thank you doctor," said Jack.

What followed made Sydney's heart sink. As the doctor went on describing Vaughn's preliminary injuries, her mind swam with thoughts of all that must have been done to him to create such wounds. Plus, always in the back of her mind was that these were simply preliminary. She knew that when Vaughn was out of surgery, there would be a whole new list of injuries to add to the seemingly never-ending list. She suddenly felt very sick herself, and a rage that had never reached the surface started to boil when she pictured Arvin Sloane in her mind. She tried to push those thoughts aside and listen to Dr. Kerns as he listed Vaughn's injuries.

"All right, now first, I want to tell you that Mr. Vaughn's injuries are extensive and severe. That said, I will begin with what we found upon initial examination. Mr. Vaughn came into the ER with many external and internal injuries. From what we've deduced, most of these injuries could only have been inflicted by repeated beatings and what would be best described as common torture methods. From his line of work and the limited information that you have provided us with, that seems to be the most likely scenario. His external injuries vary from small and minor to deep and major lacerations, which cover a great deal of body parts. Most significantly, it seems the areas his captors focused on were the back and chest/abdominal areas. This is where most of the damage was done. He has small first and second-degree burns which were probably inflicted by objects heated at a high capacity and then applied to his body. He has other lacerations on his face and head, and there is evidence of a concussion as well, which will be better determined by Dr. Groves. He has many broken ribs, which I could determine from the bruising and discoloration around the rib area, and from what I could see, I would say he has damage to his spleen as well. It's obvious from these injuries that at least one but possibly both of his lungs have been punctured or have collapsed evidenced by extremely labored breathing coupled with dangerously low blood pressure. His left shoulder was dislocated and he also has several broken fingers. He was fairly stable when we moved him and the less severe wounds will be taken care of after the surgery to repair his ribs, spleen and lungs. Once all of those things are fully stabilized, we will proceed with the lesser injuries. In part because I do not know the total extent of his internal injuries, and also due to breathing problems that he is experiencing, he is going to be listed in critical condition."

Dr. Kerns looked pointedly at both of the people who were listening to him. Jack had the same expression that he had earlier; what the doctor would have described as passive, with a guarded sense of emotion. If one looked close enough, worry could be detected in his eyes. The other occupant of the room was not so composed. If there was any question of her composure, it was eliminated when she ran out of the room and down the hall to the women's bathroom. Jack got up quickly after her. "Excuse me a moment doctor." He said as he rushed down the hall.

When he got to the door, he went inside despite the markings of another gender on the door. He found Sydney in a stall, bent over the porcelain structure, the faucet of tears blazing once again.  
Jack tentatively reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder. She reacted only with more sobs. He stood and went over to the paper towel dispenser, grabbed a few, wet them and went back to the stall. He handed them to Sydney.

"Thanks," she said quietly and shakily.

"Are you all right?" Jack asked gently.

"Well, no, not really…but that's not important right now. What's important is if Vaughn is ok. I couldn't stand it anymore, I felt myself getting sicker by the minute. It's a wonder I didn't hurl right there on the doctor's shoes."

"I'm sure he wouldn't have blamed you if you did. Those injuries are staggering even if you don't care deeply for the person involved…I'm sorry Sydney, for what's its worth."

"Thanks, dad. Just give me a few minutes, I'll be back then."

"Ok sweetheart, I'll be in with the doctor." Jack got up silently and left Sydney alone.

She got up and went to the sink to splash some water on her face and rinse her mouth. She finished and started out down the hall again. When she got in the consultation room, the doctor was conversing with Jack.

Dr. Kerns looked empathetically at Sydney, "I'm sorry Sydney, perhaps I didn't prepare you enough for that information. I'm terribly sorry if I seemed harsh."

"No, I'm sorry, I just needed to get some air, among other things," Sydney smiled weakly.

"Did either of you have any questions?"

Jack and Sydney sat in silence for a few minutes. Sydney looked at her father and then back at Dr. Kerns.

"Is he going to be all right? Honestly?" Sydney looked hard at the doctor.

"I'm not going to lie to you Sydney and say that the injuries aren't life threatening, or tell you that he's a trooper and will pull through. He has tremendous injuries. In my honest opinion, his chances look good. I'm not sure that's as assuring as you would have hoped, but it's the best I can offer you."

Sydney was quiet again for a moment. Jack looked at his daughter and then at the doctor. He stood and put out his hand, "Thank you Dr. Kerns, you've been very helpful. I trust you'll let us know when Mr. Vaughn is out of surgery."

Dr. Kerns rose as well and shook Jack's hand. "Of course, I'll let you know the moment I do. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you, or if you have any other questions."

With that, he left the room. Jack looked back down at Sydney who seemed lost in her thoughts.

"Sydney?"

"Yes?"

"Do you want to be alone for a while?"

"Yes."

Jack left his daughter to ponder her thoughts.

Ten minutes later, Sydney emerged from the consultation room and found her father and Weiss and the other agents in the waiting room. Weiss was pacing quietly, and several of the other agents were conversing in hushed tones. They all looked at Sydney when she entered, several smiled, but no one approached her or asked her any questions. Her dad must have briefed them, she thought. She took a seat next to her father and waited like everyone else in the room.


	6. The Evaluation, Part 2

**Chapter 6: The Evaluation, Part 2**

_"We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch." – John F. Kennedy_

* * *

At some point, Sydney fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. When she finally woke up, she was covered in her father's jacket and the crowd in the waiting room has dissipated. She figured some of the agents had probably gone home. Jack, Weiss and Dixon were talking in the hall and as she approached, they smiled.

"Any word yet?" she asked.

"Sorry, not yet." Jack answered.

She nodded and headed down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. She returned minutes later and almost spilled her coffee. Dr. Kerns was headed down the hall towards the waiting room with another doctor she hadn't seen yet. She threw her coffee in a nearby trashcan and ran down the hall.

"Is he ok?" She blurted as she stopped in front of them.

Dr. Kerns smiled slightly and said, "This is Dr. Wesley Groves. He performed the surgery on Mr. Vaughn. He's here to update you on Mr. Vaughn's condition. Dr. Groves?"

The conversation then turned to the other doctor. "Hello, maybe we should sit?"

Weiss looked at Sydney and said, "Do you want us to stay, Syd or should we go back to the waiting room?"

"No, it's ok, you can stay."

The group moved to another consultation room.

Dr. Groves once again began the briefing. "I operated on Mr. Vaughn to investigate and repair the damage that he sustained. Since Dr. Kerns has all ready briefed you on the minor injuries, I'll stick to the internal ones. Rest assured, however, that the minor lacerations and burns, etc. have been attended to. Now, he had major internal bleeding and damage to several major organs. The human body has 24 ribs, 12 to a side that protect the heart, lungs and upper contents. The ribs are attached to the vertebrae in the rear and 10 of them are attached to the sternum by cartilage at costochondral junctions. Of the 24 ribs, he has 13 fractures – 8 on the left and 5 on the right – and 4 costochondral separations, which means that 4 of his ribs were separated from the breastbone – 3 on the left and 1 on the right. He also has many bruised ribs. Fractures and separations are not really the biggest concern, but the damage that the ribs can cause. This was another area of damage. Both his spleen and lungs were damaged as a result of the rib injuries. The spleen sits under the lower left ribs and it was ruptured as a result of some kind of blunt trauma. The good news; is we were able to repair the damage to his spleen and stop the bleeding, so we did not have to remove it. One of his lungs had already been punctured or collapsed when we started surgery. The other lung was very close to collapsing as well. The technical term for this is pneumothorax. Pneumothoraxes occur when air enters the space between the two layers of the membrane that surrounds the lungs. The air separates the layers and causes part or all of the lung to collapse and lose the air that is normally inside the lung. This makes breathing extremely difficult. Treatment for this entails removing the air that has collected there so the lung can reexpand to its original capacity. We inserted a chest tube into the pleural cavity to reinflate the lungs and keep the area airtight. The chest tube will remain in his chest until the lungs have reexpanded. Until then, he's on 100 oxygen to alleviate his breathing problems. He also had a severe concussion, which we are monitoring, and his left shoulder was dislocated. It has been put back into the socket and that arm is in sling. He has 3 broken fingers on his left hand and one on the right hand. Those have also been splinted. All the other lacerations and burns have been treated and dressed. He hasn't regained consciousness yet and is currently in the Intensive Care Unit. Until his breathing stabilizes, he'll be listed in critical condition. However, based on my analysis, I would venture to say that he will make a full recovery given sufficient recovery time."

The room was silent as the news set in. Jack looked to Sydney again, to see if her reaction would be similar to the last, but she seemed almost in a state of shock this time around.

Finally she asked, "What kind of recovery time are we looking at?"

The doctor looked her way and said, "Collapsed lungs generally take about 1-2 weeks to heal. However, coupled with all of his other injuries, I'd guess a recovery time of about 3-4 weeks for those. Rib fractures usually heal in 4-6 weeks, but costochondral separations can double that time. Again, coupled with all the other injuries, I'd say 10-14 weeks would be more accurate. In sum, he's looking at best at a 3-4 month recovery phase to be fully recuperated. And of course, that's only the physical recuperation. Since he hasn't regained consciousness, there is no way to gauge the psychological or emotional damage that he has suffered."

Silence filled the room after the doctor finished. It seemed no one really knew what to say. Dr. Kerns finally spoke up and said, "Thank you Dr. Groves." He walked him out and then came back in and squatted in front of Sydney. She looked back at him. He smiled slightly and said, "Do you want to see him?"

Sydney looked astonished and said in almost a whisper, "Yes."

He got up and she followed him out of the room. The other occupants moved back to the waiting room.


	7. Waking Dreams

Chapter 7: Waking Dream

_"To bring the dead to life / Is no great magic. / Few are wholly dead/ Blow on a dead man's embers / And a live flame will start." – Robert Graves _

"All your dreams are made when you're chained to the mirror and the razorblade.  
Today's the day that all the world will see.  
Another sunny afternoon, walking to the sound of my favorite tune,  
Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon.  
Need a little time to wake up,  
Need a little time to wake up, wake up.  
Need a little time to wake up,  
Need a little time to rest your mind,  
You know you should, so I guess you might as well.  
What's the story morning glory?" – Oasis, "What's the Story Morning Glory"

* * *

**Chapter 7: Waking Dream**

Sydney followed Dr. Kerns to the elevator and then through a winding path of corridors. With each step she grew more afraid of what she would find when they reached the room that held Vaughn. Finally, Dr. Kerns stopped in front of room 418.

"He's in here…" he said quietly. "Would you like me to come in with you and explain the machines he's hooked up to?"

Sydney just stared at the door and shook her head no.

"All right then, I'll leave you alone with him. I'll let the nurse know that I let you in." He started down the hall.

Sydney watched him go for a few moments and then looked back at the door. With a cautious hand, she pushed the door open. She stepped inside and looked at the bed. Vaughn lay motionless in the middle of it, wires trailing in and out, IVs filling him with vital fluids. An oxygen mask lay over his mouth and nose and she could hear his shallow breathing. She took a few tentative steps closer and finally sat in the chair to the left of the bed. She looked at his face first, noticing the cuts and bruises that seemed to dot every inch. There were several small bandages on his cheek and forehead and a few butterfly bandages around his right eyebrow. His left eye was swollen and black. She looked down at what she could see of the rest of his body, which wasn't much because they had him covered in a blanket. She could see the splint on the pinky of his right hand and the heart/blood pressure monitor that was on his pointer finger. An IV tube also ran from this hand. His other hand was under the covers and she could see the strap of the sling that held his left arm. There was also a tube that ran from under his gown and she could guess that must have been the chest tube. A few other colored wires ran next to it and attached to machines that beeped softly. Tears started to flow slowly out of her eyes as she surveyed the man in front of her. She reached out a cautious hand and stroked his cheek. She whispered softly, "Oh Vaughn, I'm so sorry…" She shook her head slightly and brought her hand to rest on top of his. She traced small circles on the top of his hand and cried silently.

She had no idea how long she stayed that way, tracing circles on Vaughn's hand and thinking, but it must have been a long time, because eventually a nurse came in and told her she was there to check his vitals. She puttered around making notes on a chart and reading the machines. She checked the fluids in the IVs and also listened to his breathing for several minutes. She left when she was done without saying anything else and Sydney went back to tracing the circles. Two hours later, Sydney got up to use the facilities and she figured she should probably update those still in the waiting room. She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead and slipped quietly out of Vaughn's room. She made her way back to the waiting room and found Weiss sleeping in a chair and her father sitting just as she has imagined, just as she left him. It seemed that most of the other agents had gone home and Jack stood up when Sydney approached. She smiled weakly.

"How is he?" asked Jack.

"He's still unconscious, he looks comfortable at least, but there is really no way to tell."

"Hmm…have you slept at all?"

"No…you?"

"Not really."

"I see Weiss finally crashed."

"Only about an hour ago. Everyone else went home to change and…" he trailed off.

"Yeah…"

"Do you want to get some coffee, maybe something to eat?"

"I should really get back to him, I don't want to leave him alone…"

"How about just a quick bite?"

Sydney pondered a minute and then decided to appease her father, "Ok. Should we wake Weiss?"

"No, let him sleep…"

They went off to the cafeteria. Sydney stayed long enough to down a cup of coffee and eat a little something so her father wouldn't worry too much and then grabbed another cup and left to go back to Vaughn.

"Sydney," her father called after her, "is there a waiting room near Vaughn's room?"

"Yeah, I think there is…"

"Ok, I'll wake Weiss and we'll come up there, ok?"

Sydney smiled at her dad's supportiveness, "Ok dad. I'll see you up there. His room in 418."

They parted ways and Sydney slipped back into Vaughn's room. He looked the same as when she left, but she felt better on her return than she had on her exit. She decided that she should talk to him, maybe it would help.

She kept her voice quiet and soothing and leaned in closer so she could hear his breathing. She laid a gentle hand on his chest and said, "Hey Vaughn. I know you can hear me somehow, so I'm going to give this a shot…first, I want to tell you that I'm sorry. I know what you're going to say, but that doesn't make me less sorry. I don't know what they did to you, but whatever it was, they are going to pay…but all that will come later. Right now, I really need you to hang in there and come back to me…I miss you so much…" she stopped for a moment, swallowing her tears, "it was hell while you were gone, not knowing what was happening to you. I was so scared, and I know you must have been too…oh God, Vaughn, I'm so glad I have you back…but I need to you to come back to me, please…I need to see your eyes and hear your voice again…God, I need you so much…" she faltered slightly and sat down for a minute. She was about to get up to get a tissue when she thought she saw movement from the bed. She stopped dead and watched the bed intently. She saw movement again and realized that Vaughn's right hand had moved slightly. She ran back to the bed and gently held his hand.

"Vaughn? Baby, can you hear me?" She watched for another reaction and was rewarded with a small, yet distinctive squeeze on her hand. Her tears flowed freely again yet her smile grew wider and wider.

"Vaughn? Take your time, honey, just relax. I'm not going anywhere…" She watched his face for any sign of waking. She didn't want to push him but her excitement at the thought of him waking up was getting the better of her.

"Vaughn, can you open your eyes?" she whispered. She waited, his eyes didn't open but the grip on her hand was getting stronger. She decided that he had been unconscious for a long time and it was probably going to be hard for him to wake up. Plus she realized they had him on heavy pain medication which surely wasn't helping the waking situation.

"It's ok, Vaughn, I'm right here." She waited patiently, intently watching his face. She noticed that his breathing seemed to change and some of his facial muscles were starting to move. She couldn't contain the smile that was threatening to break her face. His forehead moved into wrinkles and she noticed a wince while he tried to open his eyes.

"Vaughn, are you ok?" she asked concerned.

He gingerly tried to open his eyes, and his right eye fluttered until it opened slightly. She realized that his other eye must have been swollen shut. She moved so that she would be in his line of vision. His eye fluttered and he blinked more before his eye finally opened fully. His vision was blurred slightly, and there was way too much light in the room, but eventually his eye settled on Sydney. He couldn't have seen a more beautiful sight in his life. She smiled even more once she realized that he had focused on her. She moved down and kissed his cheek. Happy tears streamed onto his face. She carefully and gently kissed every inch of his face that she could find, reveling in that one green eye that looked up at her.

"I love you so much, Vaughn. I'm so glad you're finally awake. I was so worried." She was so happy that he had finally opened his eye that she didn't realize he really couldn't talk to her with the oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth.

She was still holding his hand and smiling ear to ear. She was puzzled when he tried to take his hand out of her grip. She gently let go and placed his hand back on the bed with a confused look on her face. She realized when he started to move his hand to his face that he wanted to take the mask off. She grabbed his hand again.

"No, you need to leave that on. It's ok, we'll talk later."

He took his hand away again and she realized he was going to take it off with or without her help. She was beyond happy, so with a sigh, she decided that it was better to help him so he didn't hurt himself. She gently moved the mask off of his face and laid it under his chin so they could put it back if he became out of breath. He waited until she had the mask off and tried to talk, but his throat was so dry and he was so hoarse, that little sound came out. She looked down at him with sympathy, "Shh, it's ok." She stroked his face.

He shakily reached out and grabbed her hand again, pulling her slightly. She wondered what he was doing, but then realized that he wanted her to come closer. She leaned down and moved her hair so she could lean her ear close to his mouth.

In a very hoarse and unstable tone, he choked out, "Waking up seeing you just made up for everything…"

She smiled back at him and taking advantage of the loss of the oxygen mask, kissed him gently on the mouth.


	8. Analysis

**Chapter 8: Analysis**

_"Keep breathing." – Sophie Tucker_

* * *

She walked back to the room deliriously happy and gently sat down on the edge of Vaughn's bed. She carefully moved the oxygen mask down again and took a small ice chip and placed it in his mouth. She continued feeding him ice chips until he smiled and then she took a moment to just look at the man in front of her. Vaughn took a few more minutes to ready his throat and practiced the simple act of swallowing and then smiled at her again and said, "Hi…"

She couldn't help herself; she smiled back and kissed him again, her head lingering close to his face after the kiss. "I missed you so much, I'm so glad you're awake…" she let her thoughts trail off. She couldn't stop smiling.

Vaughn got serious for a minute and said weakly, "Syd, do you think you can help me open my other eye? I'd really like…" he stopped short of breath, "…to see you with both eyes."

"Yeah, I can try honey, but I don't want to hurt you…" She replaced the oxygen mask and went into the bathroom. She wet a cloth and brought it back to the bed. She laid the cloth over his eye for a minute and then used her fingers to gently try to pry the eye open. After several minutes of cautious prodding, the eye seemed to open slightly. She reapplied the cloth and then repeated her actions. When she looked down at him again, she looked into both of his beautiful green eyes.

He unsteadily moved the mask again and said quietly, "Thanks, that's much better. You look even more beautiful when I can use depth perception." She smiled again and replaced the mask. She realized that his breathing was still labored, and while she loved hearing his voice again, she knew the less he talked, the better.

They sat in comfortable silence just staring into each other's eyes and saying volumes without any words when Dr. Kerns entered the room.

"Well, Mr. Vaughn, it's nice to see you finally lucid! I'm Dr. Kerns, I was the emergency room doctor who examined you preliminarily." Vaughn looked in Dr. Kerns' direction, but brought his attention back to Sydney. She smiled at the doctor and noticed that Vaughn had taken her hand again.

"I'm sorry this has to be so soon after you've woken, but we should really check your wounds and make sure that you don't have any we missed." He moved closer to the bed and Vaughn seemed to grow uneasy as the doctor approached. His grip on Sydney's hand tightened and she saw what she could only describe as fear in those beautiful eyes.

Dr. Kerns began by examining Vaughn's head. He pulled a flashlight and had Vaughn follow the light, checking for any brain injuries due to the concussion. Vaughn allowed him to do this without much fuss, and Sydney thought that it was perhaps just nervousness that had caused his reaction initially. However, as the doctor continued his examination, Vaughn's breathing got more erratic. The doctor seemed to sense this too and risked a glance at Sydney but proceeded ahead anyway. He moved the blanket down and examined Vaughn's shoulder. "You let me know if I'm hurting you, all right?" Vaughn didn't acknowledge the statement and the doctor took that as consent to keep examining. Vaughn's shoulder didn't seem to be causing any discomfort, but the minute Dr. Kerns reached the first rib, Vaughn tensed, winced, and moaned all in the span of a second. He also moved on the bed which seemed to set off a whole new batch of pain. Sydney held onto his hand and tried to keep him as calm as possible. The doctor tried to be as gentle as he could, but stopped prodding after the fourth rib caused him just as much pain if not more than the first. He was concerned that Vaughn would injure himself further if he continued. Dr. Kerns brought out a stethoscope and listened to Vaughn's breathing for a moment as well, and then smiled, covered him back up and backed up a few steps. This seemed to ease Vaughn's tension and he settled into the bed a little more. "As we can plainly see, the rib area is causing you a lot of discomfort. Does it hurt if you're not moving?" he asked.

Vaughn shook his head yes.

"Ok, does your chest hurt as well?"

Again, Vaughn shook his head yes.

"Hmm…what about breathing? Does it hurt when you breathe?"

Vaughn affirmed once more.

"Ok, I'll get the nurse to come in and up the dosage of the pain medications. I want to let you rest for a few more hours, then we can try to wrap the ribs tighter. That should alleviate some more of the discomfort. We can also try elevating you; that also works quite well with rib and lung injuries. At some point, I'll need to come in and explain the extent of your injuries as well, but I'll let you rest some more before we get into that. Were there any other areas that I didn't cover that are causing you discomfort?"

Vaughn shook his head yes. He looked at Sydney and she removed the mask. He seemed to be having more trouble catching his breath now, but she figured it had to do with his obvious uneasiness with the examination. He croaked out between labored breaths, "right ankle." Sydney replaced the mask and Dr. Kerns moved the blanket from the bottom of the bed and gently lifted Vaughn's ankle while looking down at him. He rotated it slightly and Vaughn let out a yelp.

"Ok, we should get that x-rayed right away." He noticed the look that Vaughn gave Sydney and then added, "I'll send a technician in here with our portable equipment and we'll get a film on that to make sure nothing is broken." Vaughn seemed to like that idea much better.

"I'll leave you two alone for awhile, the tech should be in within the next half hour." He smiled at Vaughn and then looked at Sydney, "Could you come to the nurses' station with me for a moment, there are a few papers I need you to sign."

Sydney looked at Vaughn, kissed his forehead, gave him a reassuring pat and whispered, "I'll be right back." She then followed the doctor out of the room.

Once out in the hall, Dr. Kerns turned to Sydney, "There really aren't any papers, I asked you to come out here because I didn't think he really needed to hear this."

"That's what I figured…and he probably figured that out too, for the record."

Dr. Kerns smiled, "He seemed very uneasy with me in the room. His breathing became more labored and his whole demeanor changed. For lack of a better word, I'd say that he was scared of me…now, that could be for a number of reasons. One, it could be that he's just uneasy because he doesn't know me at all and has just been terrorized. Two, it could be that they employed some kind of doctors to do something to him, which would really put us at a disadvantage. Or three, he's still in shock and could be experiencing something similar to post-traumatic stress. He seems to be extremely comfortable with you, so I think it would be a good idea if you hung around. He seems calmer if you are there, I'd hate to see someone try to examine him with you not in the room. Let's give him a few minutes to rest and calm down and then let's see how he reacts to other people he all ready knows. I think there are still a few gentlemen in the waiting room, he knows them quite well, correct?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Ok, I'll have them come in shortly and the you let me know how he handles it. We want to treat his physical wounds, but psychological wounds can make that job even more difficult, so…" Dr. Kerns let that thought trail off.

"I should get back to him…"

"Of course, I'll send in your friends in a few minutes."


	9. The Test

**Chapter 9: The Test**

_"Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein." -- _Proverbs, 26:27

* * *

Sydney reentered Vaughn's room and returned to her place on the edge of his bed. She took his hand and ran a hand through his hair. That seemed to soothe him considerably and his eyes began to flutter. He was just about to drift off when the door opened and Weiss loudly entered followed by a much more composed Jack. Vaughn's eyes jarred open at the sudden noise and his body jerked as well. Sydney immediately saw the wince and the pain that crossed his features and she silently cursed and wished that the doctor had waited longer.

"Hey Mikey! How're you feeling? Ready to play some hockey?" Weiss seemed to have no tact whatsoever when it came to hospital patients. Not only was he incredibly loud but he bounded over to Vaughn's bed and was just about to hug him.

Sydney saved Vaughn by holding up her hand and saying, "Easy there Eric, he's not ready for bear hugs…and try to keep your voice down, ok?"

Weiss looked slightly offended, but recovered and settled for a nudge on Vaughn's shoulder. However, Weiss picked the left shoulder, and this only caused Vaughn to arch on the bed and flinch at the touch. Weiss immediately backed off, "Hey, I'm sorry Mike…I didn't know that was your bad shoulder…" He approached again and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder but Vaughn flinched again and gravitated closer to Sydney.

Jack had watched the scene from the foot of Vaughn's bed and decided he should probably say his hellos and get Weiss the hell out of there before he hurt Vaughn any further.

"Well," he started in a soft tone, "it's nice to see you awake again Vaughn. I hope you're feeling better…it's good to have you back…" Vaughn managed a smile from under his mask and Jack smiled back. He looked at Sydney who was silently pleading for him to take Weiss out of there. Jack seemed to get the message and said, "Well, I suppose we better let you rest. We'll stop by again later to check up on you, all right? Weiss? Shall we?"

Weiss looked at Jack and rather hurriedly left the room. Jack gave Sydney a reassuring smile as he shut the door.

Sydney barely had time to look at Vaughn when the x-ray technician entered, pushing equipment into the room. He was followed by a nurse, who Sydney assumed assisted with the tasks. Vaughn looked over at them and she saw the look of fear in his eyes again. She squeezed his hand. "It's ok, I'm not going anywhere…"

He smiled up at her, but she really didn't think that her words had much effect. He got even tenser when they started to position his ankle for the film. They seemed oblivious to his anxiety and talked amongst themselves while they readied the machine. Thankfully, they didn't make Sydney move, they allowed her to stay where she was, holding Vaughn's hand through the whole ordeal. When the finished, they left just as they had entered, and Sydney and Vaughn were alone once again.

She looked down at Vaughn who again seemed calmer now that they were alone. She placed her hand on his cheek and eased the mask of his face. "Hey, are you ok?"

He smiled an almost sad smile, "In what way?"

She looked at him concerned, "Vaughn, do you want to talk about it?"

He was silent for a moment, "Not really, not right now…I'm really tired Syd."

"Of course you are, sweetie, I'm sorry…why don't you try to sleep, get some rest, ok? We'll talk later…"

She placed the mask back on his face and stroked his hair again. In a few minutes, he was sleeping peacefully.

She made sure he was sleeping soundly and then quietly left the room. Her father saw her come out and headed in her direction.

"Where did Weiss go?"

"He said something about Vaughn's dog and headed off…I think he was a little surprised at Vaughn's reaction to him."

"What did he expect? He's been through hell, he's not just going to be able to shake something like that off!"

"Honestly Sydney, I don't think he really understood the extent of Vaughn's injuries until just now…I don't think it really sunk in until he was able to see him for himself."

Sydney was quiet for a moment, "I've got to find Dr. Kerns…"

"Why is that? Is something wrong?"

"He wanted me to let him know how Vaughn reacted to people he knew…he reacted to Dr. Kerns kind of like he reacted to Weiss."

"Do you want me to come along?"

"Yeah, dad, that'd be nice."

Father and daughter walked off in search of Dr. Kerns.

A short time later, Dr. Kerns, Sydney and Jack were all seated in the waiting room.

"We tried your experiment Dr. Kerns," began Sydney. "It went pretty much like your experience went. Vaughn seemed uneasy with other people in the room and he had a similar reaction to being touched. Of course, Weiss also made the mistake of hurting his shoulder, so I think that just scared him more. He seemed ok with my dad in the room, but he stayed at the foot of the bed and never made any attempt to touch Vaughn or approach him…I really don't think that Vaughn is reacting this way because doctors did something to him as we talked about before and I don't think he's suffering from post-traumatic stress. I think he's afraid of being touched, I think he's reacting to the act of being touched, it makes him uneasy, and I think he's got a general aversion to people right now."

"I would have to agree with Sydney. He's lucid and he acknowledged my presence. I didn't cause him any stress because I wasn't confronting him. I kept a distance and I didn't pose any threat to him. Weiss was very bold, he really didn't take into consideration the fact that Vaughn actually was put through torture, he treated it as though this was a regular hospital visit – like Vaughn was ill or something." Jack paused and looked at his daughter and then continued, "I think Sydney acts as a buffer to the outside world right now. She's safe for him. Their relationship allows her to reach him in ways that we can't. He trusts her completely…"

Sydney smiled inwardly at her father's assessment of her and Vaughn's relationship.

Dr. Kerns seemed lost in thought and then said, "It's obvious that Mr. Vaughn is very dependent on Sydney. In my opinion, if she can keep him calm, then I'm not going to interfere. And as long as you're willing to provide that Sydney, I see no reason why I shouldn't let you continue in the capacity you've assumed."

"I'll do whatever is necessary to help him through this…I'd like to ask though that your staff be sensitive to Vaughn's aversion to people. Perhaps you could have a set schedule of people that would come in to check IVs and stuff like that. And perhaps you can continue to do the exams since he's at least already had you do one…that is if it would fit into your schedule…"

"I'd be happy to continue the exams, in fact, it will allow me to monitor his progress more closely and I'll try to work it out with the nurses so that only a few go in and out of the room."

They were finalizing plans when they heard a disturbance coming from down the hall.

They all moved into the hall to see what was going on. Sydney's heart fell when she realized that the commotion was coming from room 418. She instantly had a flashback to Vaughn crashing into arrest when he was infected with the virus several months ago. She ran…


	10. Attack of the Evil Nurse and Her Equally

**Agent Pheonix:**Thank you so much for your reviwes, and for your suggestions.I am glad that someone is liking the story. Because you are the only one who has yet to review this chapter is dedicated to you! Yay arent you happy? Enjoy

P/N: This used to be in the summary, but now I am putting it here. I did not write this. It belongs to Jonelle Przybylski a.k.a vartan88. I am just spreading the joy because I love it so much. I hope you enjoy. I f you do review, or even if you don't just let me know what you think please.

**Chapter 10: Attack of the Evil Nurse and Her Equally Evil Lackeys**

_"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." – John F. Kennedy_

_**"**Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say "Nay, sorrow is the greater." But I say to you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)_

* * *

The three raced down the hall to Vaughn's room. Sydney entered just in time to see two orderlies holding Vaughn down while a rather large and vicious-looking nurse was injecting Vaughn in the neck with something. One of the orderlies was forcing Vaughn's neck to the side while the nurse finished. The oxygen mask seemed to have gotten pushed aside in the commotion and Sydney could see Vaughn was struggling to breathe.

"What the hell are you doing?" she yelled. Immediately she went over and pulled the nurse away from Vaughn, but she had already finished with whatever she had injected him with so it was of little use. She pried the hands of one of the orderlies off of Vaughn, yelling, "Get your goddamn hands off of him, RIGHT NOW!"

Dr. Kerns stepped in then, "What's going on in here?"

Sydney wasted no time as she moved over to a shaking Vaughn, who seemed dazed. She found the oxygen mask and placed it back where it belonged. Vaughn seemed to realize that she was there and tried to sit up, but she placed a hand on his chest and her other hand on the back of his neck and eased him back down. She inspected his neck and saw the puncture mark from the needle as well as some nasty looking bruises and red marks appearing. "These idiots were holding him down and injecting him with something!" Had Vaughn not needed her she would have launched herself at those responsible, but the fear and pain in his eyes and the way he was clutching her desperately made her only want to hold him. She moved him back to the middle of the bed and pillow and cradled his head, speaking inaudible words in an effort to soothe him.

Jack spoke up next, "Would you like to explain exactly what the hell you were doing?"

The orderlies looked to the nurse who said in an arrogant and snippy tone, "I came in to check on his IVs and examine his bandages. He jerked away from me and acted extremely aggressive! I called the orderlies in when he wouldn't sit still. Then I injected him with a sedative, a muscle relaxant."

Dr. Kerns looked wildly at the nurse, "You gave him a muscle relaxant! Didn't you read his chart? He has severe breathing problems; a sedative is only going to make his breathing more difficult right now! Muscle relaxants can only be used once a patient no longer requires a chest tube! I want all of you in my office in five minutes. Disciplinary action will be taken immediately! Get out, NOW!"

The orderlies made quick work of getting out of the room, the nurse seemed to be in shock to the way the doctor had yelled at her. She seemed about to say something, but took one look at Jack and decided against her retort. She too left the room. Dr. Kerns left the room and came back in a minute with a syringe. He approached Sydney and Vaughn, and the moment that Vaughn caught sight of the needle, he freaked out and practically launched himself off the bed. Had Sydney not been sitting so close to him, he probably would have succeeded and ended up in a heap on the floor. She looked to Dr. Kerns, "What are you doing? Don't you think he's had enough needles today?"

Dr. Kerns said, "I need to give him something to counter-act the sedative, otherwise his breathing will only get worse. Try to understand," he asked Vaughn imploringly, "I'm only trying to help. I'm only trying to repair the damage that the nurse has caused. I need to give you this, rest assured, I won't give it to you in your neck."

Sydney looked down at Vaughn and said, "Vaughn, I trust him. Let him give you the shot, ok? Then everyone is going to go away and leave us alone, ok?"

Vaughn didn't respond, but he allowed Dr. Kerns to give him the shot in the arm. Sydney waited until he was done and then said, "I want to be alone with him. He needs to calm down and get some rest. I don't want him to be disturbed, alright?"

"I'll see to it," replied Dr. Kerns.

"Is there a way to lock the door?" Sydney asked before he left.

"You can lock it from the inside, I'll let the nurses know that you're locking it and it's ok. I'm truly sorry for this…it should have never happened. When you get a chance, try to get him to tell you what happened. I'll deal with the three responsible, I assure you."

"I don't want to see that nurse near him again, in fact, it would be better if I didn't see her at all…" Sydney threatened.

Jack then added, "We could very well sue for malpractice, doctor. Perhaps it would be better if the nurse didn't work at this hospital anymore."

Dr. Kerns shook his head and left. Jack smiled at Sydney and made his way over to the door as well. Before he left he added, "I'll be outside the door if you need me, ok? You take care of him." With that, he left.

Sydney locked the door after him, and went back to Vaughn who was gradually moving towards the edge of the bed again.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" She said softly. She sat down and made him look at her. Tears were running down his face. "Hey, it's ok…I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

He moved the oxygen mask off of his mouth and asked in a raspy tone, "Where were you? Why did you leave?"

She instantly felt horrible. "Oh Vaughn, I'm so sorry, I left for just a few minutes, I was talking to the doctor. I'm sorry, I wouldn't have left if I had known, you know that. I'm so sorry honey…" she paused for a moment and then asked, "what happened when the nurse came in here?"

He stopped to catch his breath and then said, "I was sleeping…and I woke up and you…you weren't there…the door opened and I thought it was you…but…but…" he broke out in a series of coughs. Sydney instantly moved the mask back and tried to hold on to him while his body was racked with coughs. He winced and she knew that his ribs had taken the brunt of the coughing impact. He tried to compose himself, but every time he tried to move the mask again, he would cough. He gave up after a few more tries and more tears poured out of his eyes.

Sydney tried to comfort him, "Easy, honey, easy. Just try to relax for a while. We'll try again in a little bit." He seemed to be in more pain now, and with every breath, a new wince appeared. She realized he was really hurting and felt the urge to do something, anything about it.

"Hey, Dr. Kerns said something about when injured ribs are compressed that it helps with the pain and some of the pressure is taken off. Should we try that?"

He nodded weakly through the pain.

"Ok, you relax and let me move you over a little, ok?"

He nodded again. She got to work. She moved the pillow over slightly and then began to gently scoot him over a little. When she had enough room, she moved the blanket off of him slightly, removed her shoes and lay down on the bed next to him. Once in the bed, she moved so her body covered half of his and so that her body put pressure on his ribs. She laid her head next to his on the pillow and tried to gauge his reaction. After several minutes, his breathing seemed to even out and the pain that had gripped his face seemed to lessen as well.

"Is this helping?" she asked and he nodded his head yes.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" she added and he nodded his head no. "Good."

He waited for a while and got settled and then took the mask off. "Thanks," he said.

She smiled, "You're very welcome." She was glad that there was actually something that she could do to make him feel better.

"When she came in, she tried to look me over. I tried to lie still, but she kept pressing on my shoulder and then she moved to my ribs. After a few minutes, I think she got fed up with my moving, and that's when she brought the other guys in…" he let the sentence end there, and Sydney sensed that he wanted to say more, but he didn't offer anything else.

She was quiet but then remarked, "That must have been really scary when they came in. I saw what they were doing. I bet it felt like you were right back with…well…right back there…it must have been horrible…I'm so sorry you had to go through that…"

He looked over at her, "The best part was after you came in and basically told the doctor you'd beat the shit out of the nurse if you saw her again. That was classic, Syd." He laughed but the laugh was cut off by a cough and pain surged through him again.

Sydney put her arm around Vaughn's ribs and tried to compress them some more. "That's better, thanks…" he let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry this is happening to you Vaughn. It's all my fault."

"None of this is your fault. You haven't had control over anything that's happened to me."

"If you wouldn't have met me, you wouldn't be hurt."

"Maybe not, but I wouldn't be happy either." He had to replace the mask then, but Sydney moved it for a minute and kissed him deeply. He smiled as she put it back in place. She snuggled closer and watched as he finally relaxed in her touch, and she was rewarded with his trust – he fell asleep again.


	11. Nightmares and Comfort

**Chapter 11: Nightmares and Comfort**

_"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible." -- Anon. _

"Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but form itself. Love possesses not nor would be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

* * *

Sydney fell asleep as well, and when she woke, she saw the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen – a relaxed Michael Vaughn…a relaxed Michael Vaughn who seemed to be breathing steadily again. She smiled as she watched him sleep. She watched his features dance while he slept; the slight movements while he dreamed; she wondered what he was dreaming about. She had dreamt about him while he was away, but her dreams were never peaceful. She wouldn't have really classified them as dreams either; nightmares would have been a much better category. She remembered one particularly bad dream she had, Will had finally come into her bedroom and woken her because he said she sounded like she were fighting a war in her room. In fact, she had been; she'd been fighting a losing battle to save Vaughn, and in her dream, she didn't wind up lying next to him in a hospital room, she wound up visiting him in a cemetery. She shuddered at the memory of a dream she would never forget. She was brought out of her horrid memory by moans coming from the sleeping form of the man next to her. She thought for a moment he was talking in his sleep, perhaps he was dreaming about frosting pies, she mused. Her amusement ended when she looked at his face. It had changed from peaceful to stormy. His features were contorted and the moans took on pleas and cries. He was having a nightmare too, and she could only guess what was taking place in his terrifying dream. She was about to rouse him when he did himself. He bolted upright in the bed, almost knocking her off. Instantly, she knew he would regret that move. He cried out in anguish as his chest and ribs erupted into a sea of fire. His breath was coming out in heaves and he was wet; in fact, his gown was soaked. She was reluctant at first to reach out to him, she wasn't sure if he was still in the throws of his nightmare, but she needed to do something for the slumped figure next to her. She moved behind him and gently eased him back so he was lying on top of her in an elevated position. She smoothed his hair and whispered soothing words to him, "Easy sweetie, easy. It's ok…you're safe…you're here with me, ok? You're not with them anymore, they can't hurt you…I won't let them hurt you again…"

He relaxed into her touch, but she knew that he was far from calm. He allowed her to lull him to a semi-conscious state, but when she tried to lay him back on the bed he latched onto her and wouldn't let go.

"It's ok Vaughn, I'm not leaving, I'm just going to lay you down and go get a cool washcloth, ok?"

She moved quickly and came back with the cloth. She sat down on the bed again and gently wiped the sweat off his face and neck. She took a few extra minutes at the spot where the evil nurse and her troll orderlies had attacked him and then she let the cloth rest on his forehead. He watched her intently, watched her gentle movements and calming smiles.

She smiled down at him, "You're gown is soaked through, Vaughn, we should get you a new one…"

He nodded his consent and attempted to sit up. Bad move, because all of the pain resurfaced, and his already over-sensitive ribs were brought to the pit of fire again. She had moved to get the gown, and had no idea he was going to try to sit up on his own.

"Oh God, Vaughn! What are doing?" He looked at her with injured eyes. "That's not the way I meant that to sound…I just mean, you have to remember that you're hurt here…you can't do it all alone, ok? It's not bad to ask for help, or to wait until I help you sit up…ok?"

He nodded resolvedly. She had some trouble getting the gown off, there were so many wires and tubes to maneuver though and under and over and around, that by the time she got the new one on, he was just as sweaty as he was wearing the first one. She also noticed that he seemed to be in more pain, probably due to the amount of time I've made him sit here, she thought. God, I can be so stupid, she also thought.

"Let's get you settled again, ok?" She eased him back and watched the pain ripple across his face and body. Once he was lying down again, she retook her position next to him, and laid a hesitant hand on his ribs. He flinched and moved away slightly. "Does it hurt that much now when I just touch it?" she asked quietly.

He nodded yes and she could see the tears brimming. She took a moment to realize that in the last few hours, she'd seen Vaughn cry more than she had ever see him cry in his whole life. He must have been in utter agony to get him to the point of tears.

"God Vaughn, what can I do? How can I make it better?" Tears began to fall from her eyes as well as she watched him.

She racked her mind for ways to alleviate his suffering. She watched helplessly as the figure next to her began to writhe on the bed. His legs moved in an unceasing rhythm, dancing to the music of his pain.

She tried to steady him by rubbing phantom light circles over his chest and ribs, but it only worked for a few minutes, and then the dance began again. She tried to put pressure on them, but again that only alleviated the pain for few fleeting moments. She was rapidly running out of things to try.

"I'm sorry Vaughn, I don't know what else to do. What can I do for you? Can you think of something I can do to make it better?" She thought and dismissed things for several minutes and then her mind stopped on one thought. She was reluctant to try it though, because he was in such a weakened state. She didn't want to cause him further fatigue, but at the risk of causing him more stress by bringing in another stranger to administer medications, she decided her idea was at least worth a try.

"Hey, I have an idea…should I give it a try?"

He looked at her, emerald eyes filled with a torrent of agony. The windows of his soul pleaded with her to aide him in some way. One more look into the storm that was raging inside him was all it took for her to decide. She gently moved him back to the middle of the bed and raised herself over his body. She looked down at him as he looked up at her somewhat confused, and then she prudently lowered herself down on top of him. Her body covered his and her whole weight was pressed on him. Astonishment filled his eyes, but then relief and finally an intense gaze of love followed. He looked at her with all the affection he could muster and she returned every gaze abundantly. He seemed content at last and moved to place his good arm on her back. She moved down delicately and placed her head under his chin. The last thought he had before he slipped off to sleep was how wonderful the woman was that was laying on top of him and how much she must truly care for him if she was willing to go to these lengths for his comfort.


	12. Kinky Comfort

P/N: There is some smut in this chapter. Just letting you know! Enjoy.

**Chapter 12: Kinky Comfort**

_"When the oak is felled the forest echoes with its fall, but a hundred acorns are sown silently by an unnoticed breeze." – Thomas Carlyle _

"And when the storm comes, and the mighty wind shakes the forest, and the thunder and lightening proclaim the majesty of the sky – then let your heart say in awe – "God moves in passion." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

* * *

He spent exactly one hour and thirty-seven minutes in pure bliss. At one hour and thirty-eight minutes, a new wave of pain hit him. He was jerked awake by it and it seemed to spread all over despite the soothing presence of Sydney on his chest. She was awake and looking at him with concern in an instant.

"Vaughn, what's wrong? Did you have another nightmare?"

He shook his head no as he winced and his features contorted into agony once again.

"What it is then? Am I hurting you?"

He moved his head violently from side to side to make sure she got the full affect of the 'no' to that question.

"What then? What? Tell me where it hurts…let me try to help."

He cursed the breathing problems he was forced to live with; this would have been a helluva lot easier if he could just verbally tell her where it hurt or talk through some of the pain. The need for vital air made it so much more difficult. He tried to tell her after moving the oxygen mask, but it was too hard when he was in so much pain.

Sydney looked at him in distress and tried frantically to think of some other way for him to communicate it to her. "Vaughn, show me…show me where it hurts." She took his good hand and she raised herself up so he could move his hand to the source of the pain. He moved it slowly down towards his lower ribs and abdomen. She moved her hand under his and pressed against the spot gently. "Here, baby? Is this where it hurts?"

He nodded yes with tears forming again in his eyes.

"Ok, it's gonna be ok…" She tried to put the brunt of her weight on that spot, but that didn't really work. She searched desperately for a way to help. She touched the side of his face softly and looked into his eyes once more – that made up her mind.

She raised herself up again and moved his hospital gown up so that it was folded up on his upper chest. She got off of the bed much to his dismay but assured him that she would move back in a second. He watched her with interest as she removed her pants, shirt and underwear and then climbed back on top of him gingerly. He was injured, not dead, and he immediately began to respond to her current state of undress. As she positioned herself atop him, she could feel his hardness beginning to grow. She was glad she got that reaction. She smiled and moved down to sit on his legs. She took him in her hand and slowly worked her hand up and down his silky shaft and brought him to full erectness. She moved her body so that the tip of his penis was resting against her center and then unhurriedly placed him inside her. Once he was penetrating her fully, she slowly worked her way back up his shaft and then slowly went back down again until he was fully inside her. She used her inner muscles to squeeze him and felt his legs tense in response. His eyes closed briefly and a quiet moan echoed from the oxygen mask. She fleetingly thanked herself for locking the door of his room before continuing. She began to tenderly rock on him, using very gentle, slow strokes to move him in and out of her. He thrust upward, but she said, "No, sweetie, you have to relax and let me handle this one. You just lay back and enjoy this. I think some of this – the pain I mean, is because you're scared…You let me do all the work. Just rest, baby, just rest. Try to focus on me instead of the pain. Focus on what I'm doing to you, the feelings, ok? You'll get your chance once you're feeling better, alright?" He nodded dreamily. "Good…good…yeah, that's it." She stroked his face gently as she moved. It had been so long since she had him inside her, he felt so good, and judging by his reactions to her ministry, he was enjoying himself as well. She moved in gentle circles, eliciting more moans from him. She tried to keep him as relaxed as possible while trying to keep him in as much pleasure as possible. She didn't want his breathing to get too labored; and the idea of explaining to the doctor that he was having trouble breathing because they'd just had sex wasn't something that sat well with her. She knew he was enjoying this, his moaning in pain had ceased and she could tell it had at least lessened, but she could also tell his rising frustration over the speed of their lovemaking. He attempted to quicken the pace, but she immediately stopped his attempt. She stopped moving all together and he looked at her imploringly. For a moment, she thought he might cry again.

"Hey, just relax. I'm not gonna stop. I just need you to listen for a minute. I know you want to go faster, but right now you just need to focus on the sensations…we can't go any faster, not now. I don't want to hurt you."

He moved the mask and she had to lean closer to him to hear, "You won't hurt me Sydney…how can you hurt me when you're making love to me?"

She smiled, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're not exactly up to par here today Vaughn. I mean, you're up…that's not the problem…the problem is everything else. While I'm glad they seemed to leave that part of your anatomy alone, they unfortunately did quite a number on a large percentage of other parts. I'm not going to go nuts here and sex the hell out of you so you have to stay here an extra few weeks."

When she was done with her tirade, she looked at him again and saw that he was smiling. "What?" she asked.

"No one else I know could tell a guy that they can't have rough sex like you can, Syd." He laughed softly, which drew a wince.

The smile that had been growing on her face stopped and she stroked his face again. She said in an even more affectionate tone. "There, right there. That's why we have to go slow, no matter how much it drives you nuts. Look at it this way Vaughn, the slower we go, the better the release will be…" she smiled devilishly. "We can go back to really kinky sex when you're feeling better, and I will be the judge of that, by the way – you're readiness for kink, that is."

He looked at her thoughtfully and said, "Ok…" they looked into each other's eyes for a few minutes, Sydney kissed him and then was going to put the mask back on when he stopped her. "Just one more thing…"

"What sweetie?"

"Thank you…for…well, for everything. For being here for me, and doing this…I don't know anybody else who would have sex with an invalid in the middle of a hospital just because he was in pain…you really are amazing."

"Well, when you put it that way Vaughn, we are being pretty kinky right here…"

"Uh huh…" he smiled up at her.

She started slow movements again and with the mask still off, she could her his delicious moans in surround sound. God she loved that moan, she had missed it, and it took all her composure not to really start to make love to him.

After another "Hmm…Mmm…Umm…Uhn…oh God Sydney" she stopped. He looked up at her again. "What now? I didn't push! I didn't do anything…I'm just laying here…being a good boy…relaxing and enjoying my pain-free-ness. What?"

She smiled, "You are being good, I just realized something."

"What's that?"

"This is the first time we're making love since you were taken…" silent tears began to form in her eyes. When she looked down, she saw that he was also getting teary.

"I know, Syd, I know…that's why this is so special…the irony of this situation is not lost on me…"

"What do you mean?"

"Well…here I am…back and all," she noticed his breathing was beginning to get very choppy again, "and naturally the first thing…I'd want to do when I got back…was…make love to you…and now I can't…it'd be a really sick twist too…if you weren't as daring…and wonderful…and utterly devoted…as you are."

The tears were gone in both of their eyes and she reached for the mask again, "We need to put this back now, honey." He nodded as she replaced it.

"Thank you Vaughn…" she said tenderly, and he smiled back at her. She waited a few moments and then started her efforts again. She figured she should probably let him come pretty soon before he got too tired. She knew he would fight sleep if it threatened to interrupt what they were doing, but she also knew that he needed as much rest as possible, and even with her doing the work, he wasn't really resting.

She sat up on him; her hands sprawled tenderly over his bandaged chest. She slowly bent herself backward so that every time she came off and went back on him, his penis moved against the front wall of her vagina. She remembered him liking this in the past, and she had to admit it was very pleasurable for her as well. Slowly she worked her way up and down his shaft, until they moved in a steady motion, and until every time he came back in, he hit her g-spot. Whenever they connected at that spot, his eyes closed and his head pushed back against the pillow.

Gradually, the more intense the sensations got for him, the less his head pushed back and the more his body arched upward. His head began to involuntarily rise off the pillow. She was afraid that he would hurt his ribs, so she affectionately helped him by placing her hand behind his head and helping him to rise slightly on every one of her down strokes. He smiled appreciatively when he realized what she was doing. She kept a steady pace for him, letting his orgasm gradually build. She also really wanted them to come together. She needed them to come together this first time. She could sense a few subtle changes in his reactions to her ministrations and knew that his orgasm was approaching. She redoubled her efforts and at his nod, sped up slightly and moved on him a little harder. With the added friction, she was close, and she could also feel his balls starting to tighten and move closer towards his body. Right when his orgasm began, she intensified it by lifting him off the pillow several more inches. She moved her body down at a different angle so she could hold him as he came. As she felt the first spurt of his orgasm shoot into her, she cradled his head against her chest and helped ease him through the shudders. His orgasm set her off as well and the delay in their lovemaking made hers very powerful. When the largest part was over, she then carefully laid his head back on the pillow. She stayed on him as his body came down fully, smiling at the aftershocks of his orgasm. She knew from previous experience that he didn't always have aftershocks; usually they only occurred if his orgasm was particularly powerful. He smiled satisfactorily up at her while trying to catch his breath.

"Are you ok?" she asked timidly, hoping that her enthusiasm at the end hadn't injured him further.

He nodded and moved the mask, "I'm great…" he rasped as he smiled widely as another aftershock took him. She laughed softly at his reaction and laid her head on his good shoulder. She hadn't moved off of him and after such a long time being a part, relished in the feeling of him and his fluids inside her. He seemed content to stay right where he was as well and was glad that she didn't leave him.

He moved the mask again and said, "I love you Syd, thank you…"

"I love you too Vaughn, and you're very welcome…"

She watched from her place on his shoulder as his eyes started to flutter and his breathing slowed down. In a few minutes, he was sleeping peacefully and she allowed herself to slip off too.


	13. Wounds and Wraps

**Chapter 13: Wounds and Wraps**

_"They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea." – Francis Bacon _

"Your soul is often times a battlefield, upon which your reason and judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite. Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

* * *

She woke a few hours later and watched him sleep for a while. He actually seemed to be much better after their lovemaking. His breathing had leveled and he was resting peacefully. She reluctantly moved off of him, and he woke at the loss of contact. He looked over worriedly, but was relieved to see her still next to him.

"Hey, sorry I woke you, but I figured I should probably move pretty soon before Dr. Kerns comes in and figures out that I've just participated in sexual healing with one of his patients…it would be very awkward."

He laughed lightly and winced, and Sydney realized that sexual healing wasn't going to solve all of their problems, but it would help with some others.

"Do you feel better?" she asked.

He moved the mask, "Yeah, I do…thanks to you…you know it doesn't hurt as much when you're with me…"

"That's sweet of you to say Vaughn…" she ran a hand through his hair. "Listen, I'm going to go out in the hall for a minute and order something to eat. After our little sexual episode, I'm a little hungry…will you be ok for a few minutes by yourself?"

"Sure, as long as no nurses come in to terrorize me."

"I'll make sure they don't. I'll be right back. Just relax while I'm gone. Can I get you anything?"

"No, just come back, you're all I need right now…"

She smiled and kissed him and went out the door. Her father was sitting in a chair right next to it, sleeping. She didn't want to wake him since she knew he hadn't slept much the last few days. She went to the nurses' station and ordered something to eat to be brought up to Vaughn's room. The nurse was exceptionally pleasant and she knew Dr. Kerns must have had a little staff meeting where the man in room 418 and his friends were concerned. She walked around the corridors for a few more minutes stretching her legs and then made her way back to Vaughn's room. Dr. Kerns was on his way to the room as well and she met him in the hall.

"Hello Sydney, how's everything going?"

"Pretty well…he had some rather severe pain before, but he managed to get a few hours of sleep now…"

"Did you tell a nurse about the pain?"

"No, I didn't think he'd want any more nurses coming in today. We worked through it…" she let her sentence trail off, not really wanted to elaborate on exactly how she had gone about "working through it." Thankfully, Dr. Kerns didn't ask.

"Do you think he'd be ready for another exam? I hate to ask, but we really need to get his ribs wrapped. In fact, it'd help with the pain as well."

"Why don't you wait here, I'll go talk to him and then I'll let you know, ok?"

"I'll be here waiting."

Sydney entered Vaughn's room and he smiled as he saw her enter. She approached the bed.  
"Hey, how are you?"

He moved the mask, "Not too bad…but it hurts more when you're not around."

"I know you really don't want to hear this right now, but Dr. Kerns is out in the hall. He wants to do another exam. And he wants to wrap your ribs too; he says it should help with the pain. What do you think? Can he come in and try it?"

Vaughn looked at her for a few seconds, "If you stay…"

She smiled, "I'll be right here…always…"

She kissed him and went out into the hall. "Ok, Dr. Kerns." He smiled and entered the room.

"Well Mr. Vaughn, how are we feeling?"

Vaughn moved the mask and said, "Not too bad, Sydney helps a lot."

"I'm glad to hear that. Do you mind if I check you over?"

Sydney smiled at Dr. Kerns; she knew that he was really trying to be non-threatening here.

"Yeah, go ahead," Vaughn replied.

Sydney held onto Vaughn's hand as Dr. Kerns made his inquiries. He checked his head again, making Vaughn follow the flashlight, and also checked his shoulder and ankle. It seemed that he was deliberately avoiding Vaughn's ribs for the moment.

"It'd be better if we could get you off of the 100 oxygen that you're on now. I want to wrap your ribs to alleviate some of the pain and pressure and then we're going to try the tube oxygen, alright?"

Vaughn nodded.

"Ok, now, we're going to have to do rather a lot of work here to get these ribs wrapped. We don't want your other injuries to be wrapped too tightly, so on some areas on your back, we'll have to go a bit lighter. We're going to have to change your bandages too. Is that ok?"

Vaughn nodded again.

"I could really use some help with this, Sydney will you be able to help me?"

Vaughn looked up at Sydney. "Of course," she smiled, looking down at Vaughn.

"Ok, first we need to sit him up." Dr. Kerns tried to move very slowly so he wouldn't make Vaughn uneasy, but his very presence was making Vaughn nervous. It wasn't as bad as the last time, but he was still wary of him. Once they had him in a sitting position, Dr. Kerns took Vaughn's gown off and tossed it aside as Sydney helped support Vaughn. He saw the other one lying on the chair, "Did you change his gown already?"

Sydney answered rather sheepishly, "Yeah, he had a nightmare and it got really soaked, so we changed it."

Dr. Kerns looked down at Vaughn thoughtfully, "Hmm…well then it's probably a good idea we're changing the bandages too." He started to slowly peel away at the layers of bandages that covered Vaughn's chest and abdomen. There were other bandages underneath those, ones that covered burns and surgery incisions. He stopped momentarily and said, "Sydney, we're going to need to change all of the bandages. I should warn you that they…well…they aren't easy to look at, especially for someone not in the medical field."

"I'll be fine," she assured Dr. Kerns while smiling at Vaughn.

"Ok, let's begin. I think it would be best to do the ones on his back first. That way we can give him some time to rest before we do the rib wrap again. Why don't you hold him up while I change the bandages, ok?"

"Sure, that's fine," Sydney said as she moved to support Vaughn more fully. She placed a gentle hand on the back of his neck and another on his chest. "Just let me hold you up ok? If you get tired or it starts to hurt, you let us know."

Vaughn nodded as he looked at her sideways. She smiled.

Dr. Kerns started at the top of Vaughn's back and peeled off the small bandages that covered the burns. Sydney couldn't see the wounds but she could see Vaughn's face, and she could tell that taking off the bandages was going to be a rather painful process. Dr. Kerns finished with one and was about to go on to another, but Sydney stopped him. "Um…Dr. Kerns?"

"Yes Sydney?"

"Maybe you should hold Vaughn and I should do the bandages…he seems to be in a lot of pain here when you're doing it…perhaps a woman's touch would be better?" she looked to Dr. Kerns imploringly.

"Uh, sure, we can give it a try." He moved over to where Sydney had been standing and took a similar posture to the one she had, supporting Vaughn so he wasn't really sitting up holding himself up.

"Ok, now what you need to do is take off the old bandage and apply a small amount of the burn cream to the wound, and then place a new bandage over it. I've just done the one, so you'll have quite a few to do."

Sydney looked at the while dots all over Vaughn's back and realized that he had many more burns than she had imagined. She also saw some other sized bandages and lots of bruises. She really couldn't find an area that was normal. His whole back was an ocean of injuries.  
Dr. Kerns noticed her hesitation, "Sydney? Are you alright?"

Vaughn attempted to turn around, but his mobility was very limited, and it only made him groan. Sydney noticed Vaughn's reaction and it snapped herself out of her thoughts. "It's ok Vaughn, I was just…never mind…are the smaller bandages all burns?"

"Yes."

"And the larger ones are other cuts and stuff?"

"Yes, but let's take care of the burns first."

Sydney nodded and began to take off the first bandage. She was quite successful in not causing Vaughn further pain, but she wondered if a lot of it wasn't just his comfort level with her. She had the first bandage off and stopped dead in her tracks again. The burn was about the size of a coin, and it was an angry crimson color. She let out a small gasp and Vaughn attempted to turn again.

Dr. Kerns said, "Perhaps this wasn't the best idea Sydney, maybe I should continue…"

Sydney looked at Dr. Kerns and then looked at Vaughn as he struggled to turn towards her. She bent down and gave Vaughn a light hug from behind and he immediately calmed considerably.  
She then stood up and placed a feather light kiss on the burn. Then she took the cream and gently rubbed it over the wound, took a new bandage and covered it. Then she continued onto the next one. At each wound she would place a light kiss and then continue. Dr. Kerns waited patiently and realized that he couldn't have done a better job himself. When they had finished with the burns, Vaughn was calm and collected and his breathing was at a steady level.

"Most fascinating Sydney," mused Dr. Kerns. "Although your methods may not work for other patients, it seems to be the perfect remedy for this one…" He smiled and then added, "Shall we continue with the other wounds?"

"Sure, Vaughn are you still ok for the other ones?" He shook his head yes. "Are you sure you don't need to rest?" He shook his head no. "Ok then. What do we do with these?"

Dr. Kerns set about telling her about open wounds, and they redressed all the other remaining wounds on Vaughn's back. Sydney struggled a few times when she saw the marks of what could only have been some sort of whip, but she managed to keep her composure so Vaughn wouldn't be suspicious. Once they were done with his back they laid him gently on his back again, and Dr. Kerns redressed the surgical incisions. Sydney went over to Vaughn while he was doing that and smoothed his hair back.

"Are you doing ok?" He nodded his affirmation.

After Dr. Kerns was done with the incisions, he also redressed the bandages on Vaughn's face and then said, "Alright, we're ready for the rib wrap. This may be a little more difficult…I'll explain what we need to do first and then we'll do it…ok, first we need to sit you up again, and then we apply the wrap, but now here's the tricky part. You need to be sitting up as straight as possible for it to be effective, and this may be rather difficult for you at the moment. And we also need to be very careful of his chest tube. So, we'll see how it goes…ready?"

Vaughn nodded. Both Sydney and Dr. Kerns eased Vaughn into a sitting position.

"Ok, now Sydney why don't you sit behind Mr. Vaughn and hold him up while I try to wrap the ribs."

Sydney sat on the bed and began to hold him up, but half way through, he moaned and Sydney stopped.

"It's going to be a little uncomfortable, but we have to get them wrapped properly. I'm sorry Mr. Vaughn…Sydney you're going to have to hold him up even if he protests, ok?"

Sydney kissed Vaughn on the back to the neck and said hesitantly, "Ok…"

She moved again and held him up, and when he moaned this time she didn't let go. Dr. Kerns moved efficiently and quickly and had Vaughn's ribs wrapped in what Sydney thought was record time. He got another gown and put it back on Vaughn.

"There, all done…let's lay him back." After they did, he asked, "How does that feel? Is it any better?"

Vaughn smiled and nodded. "Ok then let's try the tube oxygen instead, and we'll see how that goes. I'm sure you'll be glad to get this off…" He moved the oxygen mask and replaced it with an oxygen tube that went under Vaughn's nose. "For right now, it's still set on 100, but we'll try to wean you off of that regularly. And we can probably take the chest tube out tomorrow as well, if all goes well…you rest now."

Dr. Kerns smiled and looked at Sydney, "Can I see you for a minute?"

"Yeah, I'll be right back," she said to Vaughn.


	14. Wounds and Wraps, Part 2

**Chapter 14: Wounds and Wraps, Part 2**

_"And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope." -- Job, 11:18_

* * *

They exited the room and Sydney noticed that her father wasn't in the chair anymore. He must have gone to get something to eat.

"That went quite well Sydney, I need to thank you for your help."

"Not a problem, it was my pleasure. I'm sorry I kind of pushed you out there, but I figured it'd probably be better if I did the changing."

"It's not necessary to apologize, I'm of the opinion that we should do what's best for the patient, what's in their best interest, as long as it doesn't injure them further."

They were silent for a minute before Dr. Kerns said, "I know it was difficult to see the evidence of torture Sydney. Did you want to ask me any questions?"

"No, I think I can pretty much figure out what most of the wounds are from. Really though, Vaughn is the only one who knows what happened to him."

"Yes, I know. I was thinking about asking a colleague of mine to come down and chat with Mr. Vaughn…"

"About what?"

"About what happened to him. About his torture."

"The CIA has people that do that, I think Vaughn might be more comfortable with someone he's already familiar with and I don't mean any offense, but they might be more equipped to handle this sort of situation."

"Well, you said something about him having a nightmare, and that's what's worrying me. You were there for that one, but let's face it, you can't be with him every minute. At some point, you'll probably have to go home to rest, and then what do we do when he can't fall back on you? What if he hurts himself?"

"Well I don't plan on leaving him any time soon. My roommate can bring whatever I need here."

"I'm just saying Sydney that eventually he will have to learn to deal with this."

"Well I don't think that has to be today. And I don't think it has to be your colleague either."

"I've been very lenient where he is concerned, Sydney, more so than I usually am, because he's been through a horrible ordeal, and while I think it's wonderful that you have such a presence with him, I still think he's going to need more than just your support. And I don't want you to have to bear the full responsibility of his health. That wouldn't be healthy for you either."

"You don't need to worry about my health doctor, I'll be just fine, and I'm going to stay here with him until he says I don't need to. I don't particularly care for your presumption that I can't handle Vaughn on my own."

"I'm not saying that Sydney, I'm just saying it would be healthier for both of you if he had a wider support group."

"I think we should let Vaughn be the judge of that." And with that she walked back into Vaughn's room.

He was lying on the bed in the familiar way he had been for the last few days. She approached and sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at him. She was grateful that the oxygen mask was gone; because now they could talk more easily and she could also kiss him any time she wanted. She took full advantage of that and then looked back down at him again.

"I think I like not having that on anymore," he said slightly breathily with a smile.

"Me too…" and she took advantage of the mask's absence again. "How are you feeling now? Seriously, can you breathe ok with just the tube?"

"I haven't seemed to have a problem yet, but of course I've only had it on for like 10 minutes."

"If you have any trouble, you let me know, ok?"

"Yeah, ok…" Vaughn could sense something was wrong, "Sydney, what's the matter?"

She thought a moment before answering, "Well, how do I want to put this…there's really no easy way Vaughn…Dr. Kerns thinks that you need to talk to someone…" she let her thought trail off.

"Talk about what…about what happened to me?" he asked softly.

"Yeah…"

"I don't want to talk about it," he said looking away.

"Ok, listen, I don't think you have to talk about it now…but eventually Vaughn, you're going to have to talk about it…you know they'll never let you come back to work unless you've had a complete psych eval. If you refuse to do it or something, they won't let you come back."

"I know," he said quietly.

She just looked at him for a moment, and then reached out to stroke his cheek. "Look, I'm here whenever you want to talk, whenever you need me, ok…open invitation…" she smiled.

"Thanks Syd, really, for everything." He pulled her down for another kiss.


	15. Codeword – SH short, but sweet

**Chapter 15: Codeword – S.H. (short, but sweet)**

_"Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule." – Samuel Butler_

* * *

Things over the next few days seemed to go quite well. Sydney and Vaughn were left alone, his breathing officially only required the tube oxygen now, he had started to eat solid food with her help and seemed to be in better spirits overall. She would help him through the pain when there was any, sometimes with what they were officially calling "S.H." – sexual healing. Sydney couldn't help but smile because it really did seem to work. If he was having a nightmare or was in really bad pain, it all seemed to dissolve after she made love to him. Finally over lunch one day, she had to ask. She had just given him a mouthful of mashed potatoes when she asked, "Vaughn, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah…sure."

"Why does our S.H. help you so much?"

He coughed and almost choked on the potatoes, and winced as a pain shot through him.

"I'm sorry sweetie," Sydney said apologetically.

"No, it's ok, I just…uh…wasn't really prepared for that question." He thought a moment and then answered, "Well…I trust you Sydney, more than I've ever trusted anyone. And on top of that I'm completely in love with you. Knowing that you're there, that'd you'd do anything for me, well…it's really comforting. I don't really think it has much to do with the actual act itself – although that's always amazing, I think it's more the emotion, the connection. I feel completely safe when I'm inside you Sydney, safer than I've ever felt before. I know that nothing can happen to me when I'm there, so…I can relax…and everything else just seems to melt away – all the pain, all the fear, everything. You're all that's left…you told me to focus on you when we first did it, I think that's when I first punched in…so that's what I do…I focus on you…and everything else just doesn't matter…"

Vaughn looked over at her when he was finished and saw tears falling down her cheeks. "Hey, that wasn't supposed to make you cry, you know…"

"Oh Vaughn, that has got to be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me! God, I love you so much."

"I know…it shows…"

She put the spoon down that she'd been holding and passionately kissed him. Then she retook her position and got ready to finish helping him eat.

He looked up at her, "Hey, what the heck? You give me a kiss like that and all I'm supposed to do now is finish eating? Come on!" he smiled.

"Look mister, we can't just have S.H. all the time here, no matter how much we want it…we do have to have a reasonable sense of modesty and discretion, we are in a hospital Vaughn." She leaned down and kissed him again. "Now come on, the sooner you finish your potatoes, the sooner we may be able to get to the S.H.ing."

"Bring on the potatoes!" Vaughn said.

She laughed and helped him finish.


	16. The Bath

P/N: Please Review .

**Chapter 16: The Bath**

_"The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." – Chinese proverb_

* * *

Later that day, Sydney got the pleasure of giving Vaughn a bath. A nurse had come in to inform them that he would be having one, and that she would be the one administering it. However, Vaughn put up such a fuss, that Dr. Kerns once again consented to Sydney handling it. So, the nurse came in simply to help get Vaughn to the tub, and then he told her she could leave.

Sydney started filling the tub and then moved over to help Vaughn undress. This turned out to be a rather lengthy process however, since not only did she have to help him take the sling off without hurting him terribly, but she also had to remove about a million bandages. She wondered how long he was going to be able to sit here without the oxygen. He really needed the steam from the bath as soon as possible.

"You know Vaughn, we're going to have to put all of these back on again too…it probably would have been better if they just would have given you one huge wound instead of all sorts of little ones."

She had meant it to be amusing, but Vaughn didn't take it that way, "But that's not as much fun as inflicting all sorts of little ones. It wouldn't really be sporting if they just did one big one." His voice seemed distant and cold and it scared Sydney.

She stopped what she was doing and bent down in front of him. She moved his face until he was looking at her. "Hey, I didn't mean anything by it Vaughn," she said softly. "Do you want to talk about it?" she pushed gently.

His eyes seemed to warm when he saw the concern in hers, "Not really…can we just do the bath?"

She decided not to press the issue at the moment and went back to peeling off the bandages.

After what seemed like hours, she finally removed all the bandages on his back and the bandages that covered the surgery incisions. She could tell he was really glad she had gotten them all off too because it was becoming very hard for him to sit up without the rib wrap on. She helped him shakily move over to the tub. Sydney was thankful that it was a typical hospital tub and that Vaughn really didn't have to do much to get in it, because what they were doing couldn't really be considered walking, Vaughn really couldn't walk well yet. Steam was raising from the water and she helped ease him into the warmth, careful not to get his splints into the water, since that was the only thing that couldn't get wet. He sighed as he sunk in and let out a small groan as well.

"Are you ok?" she asked as she stroked his head.

"Yeah…"

"Are you sore?"

He looked up at her with a 'duh' look.

"Sorry, that was a stupid question. I'll get the soap…" She got up and went over to the cabinet. She picked out a bar of soap and a washcloth and grabbed some towels for later too. She then went over to the door and locked it. Vaughn looked over at her with a gleam in his eye.

"I'm just locking it for your privacy sake Vaughn…I think sexual healing might be a little difficult in the tub."

He smiled nonetheless and watched as she came back to the tub. She let him rest for a while, just sitting in the warm water, she placed a towel under his head and let him lean back.

"Close your eyes," she said and he obliged. She ran a hand through his hair and massaged his good shoulder.

"Do you want me to try the other one?" she asked.

"Mmm hmm…" he replied dreamily.

"You tell me if I hurt you…"

"You won't."

She moved over to the other shoulder and rubbed softly. Soon, she had him humming in relaxation and tranquility. She moved up his neck to his head and then back down. She continued until she thought he had fallen asleep.

"Vaughn?" she asked quietly.

"Hmm?" he replied.

"Are you asleep?" she asked amused.

"No…but I could be if you keep that up."

"Maybe a little later, but we should really wash you."

"Oh, alright…wash away."

She wet the washcloth and got it full of soap and then began to gently wash him. She was extremely careful when she ran across any wound, and would get even more delicate with her touch. He watched with amazement as she worked her way from his arms and neck down to his chest with soft, tender strokes. She was concentrating extremely hard, not wanting to cause him any discomfort. She washed his legs and then looked up at him.

"Vaughn, I need to wash your back now…can you sit up a little bit?"

"Yeah, but I think you'll have to help me."

"Sure." She moved back and helped him lean forward. She put more soap on the washcloth and gently started to wash his back. He jerked slightly when she reached a few wounds that were particularly sensitive and she was moved with empathy for him. She kissed the spots that had caused him pain and went on her way. She was almost finished when she heard a sniffle. She didn't think much of it, but after about the third one, she knew something was wrong.


	17. Warm Sanctuary

**Chapter 17: Warm Sanctuary**

_"Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough." – Dinah Shore _

"Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings it melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips." Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

"It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour." – Francis Bacon

* * *

"Vaughn are you ok?"

He didn't answer so she moved him back a little and saw that tears were running down his face.  
"Oh, Vaughn…what's the matter? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry honey."

He shook his head no and she realized this might be an opportune time to get him to talk. If he felt safe enough, he might open up to her. She moved away for a moment and shed her clothes and then eased herself behind Vaughn in the tub. He seemed startled by her presence and was about to move away.

"Hey, it's ok…it's me…" she eased him back into her arms and smoothed his hair back. Her left hand moved to hold his, careful around his splinted fingers and her right moved in gentle circles on his chest.

"Shh…it's ok…you're alright, I'm here Vaughn. Nobody can hurt you." She whispered soft words to soothe him and he eventually seemed to calm.

"Vaughn, I know how hard it must be for you…do you want to talk?" she prodded.

He was silent and she thought for a moment that her idea wasn't going to work. She would have been content just to hold him and talk later, but he eventually started to open up.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked softly.

"Whatever you want…" she said trying not to pressure him.

He was silent again and then said, "I dreamed about you…"

"You did? What did you dream?"

"I dreamed that we were walking on a beach, laughing and splashing…and we would stop and make love in the water…that was one of them anyway…it was those things that kept me alive Sydney. Thoughts of you kept me alive."

She kept up her soft hair stroking and decided it was probably better to just listen to him, to let him get out whatever he needed to.

"I wondered sometimes when I was in there, what you were doing. I'd image all sorts of things, I knew you'd be looking for me, but as time went on, I pretty much gave up hope of being found. I thought that I would never get to see you again, I kept thinking about when Sloane let me talk to you, that would be the last time I ever heard your voice…how did you find me?"

"You probably won't believe me…but my mother called and told me where you were."

He didn't really seem surprised by her revelation.

"I believe you…it was really strange actually, she never really seemed into the whole torture thing. She was always very passive…she didn't say not to do anything to me, but she refused to do anything herself."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah."

"Who did do it to you? What did they do?"

"Mostly it was a few of Sloane's men, he occasionally liked to join in the fun, but usually he seemed to get more satisfaction in watching. Sark was there, he would do it if Sloane told him too, but he really didn't seem to get a lot of enjoyment out of it either."

"Vaughn, tell me what they did to you."

He was silent for a moment and shuddered involuntarily, reliving horrors he didn't really want to revisit.

Sydney tightened her grip on him as she sensed his change. "It's ok Vaughn, they can't hurt you anymore."

He didn't make any move to tell her anymore.

"You don't have to tell me right now if you don't want to Vaughn." She realized the enormity of what he had already told her, and didn't want to push him away by forcing more. Plus, she knew pushing him too far too fast could mean a lot more damage.

"No…it's ok…it's just…hard…" he sniffled again, and Sydney took more of him in her arms, letting him know that she was there.

"At first, they would just come in and hit me, beat me up. It really never went past that in the beginning. I'm not sure if they were waiting for something or what, but they would come in, beat me up and then leave me again. I guess they did it a couple times a day, I don't really remember…I passed out a lot…then after Sloane called you, it all changed. He meant what he said, he didn't really care about anything anymore, and I seemed to be a great way to work out whatever frustrations he had over Emily's death. I think he took the anger out on me. That's when he started to get more inventive…" Vaughn shuddered again.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me anymore right now, Vaughn. Maybe we should leave it there for awhile."

"No…no…I think I'd rather just get it out…is that ok?"

"Yeah…sweetie that's ok, I just don't want you to feel like you have to tell me everything right now."

"If you don't want to hear it Sydney, I don't have to tell you…"

"That's not what I said, Vaughn, I just don't want you to hurt yourself more by reliving it all right now in the bathtub. I want to hear it, I need to know what they did to you…I want to know what they did to you so I know how to pay them back…" He could feel her smile and he relaxed again. "Just go slow, ok, don't rush yourself, and if you think it's getting to be too much, stop, ok…"

"Yeah…so…he started experimenting with other ways to torture me. He liked the burns…he came up with all sorts of ways to burn me with stuff." Vaughn winced.

"What did he use?" Sydney pressed.

"Whatever he could find. He liked cigars a lot. Or he'd heat up metal and then press it in…it was awful…there wasn't anything like knowing what he was going to do with it. He would make a game out of it…heating something up and then coming at me, telling me what he was going to do. He'd leave it there so long, God, Sydney I tried so hard not to let him know how much it hurt, but after while, it was useless…he liked the screaming…the…the smell…" he faltered momentarily.

"Oh God Vaughn," Sydney's tears were mixing with Vaughn's. She didn't know what else to do but hold him.

"That's not all either…after the burns, he'd bring out the whip. It was black and long and it had four metal spikes on the end. I know because he showed me. They'd chain me to the wall and he'd have one of his men whip me while he watched on the side, laughing at my screams. If I passed out, he'd wait until I came around again and then start over."

He was silent for a moment and she could tell that he was reliving a painful memory. He shook his head to rid his mind of it.

"Then after a round of that, I'd be taken back to the cell. They'd throw me in and lock the door and wait until morning so they could do it all over again. Usually in the morning, they'd wake me up by kicking me and then they'd drag me out into the room again. Sloane called it the interrogation room, but he never asked me any real questions. He'd ask me about you, but that was about it. I really don't think I spent much of the time there fully conscious, which was probably a good thing, but I remember pain…unbelievable pain…and he'd tell me things…things he was going to do…later…to…to…" he left his sentence trail off and Sydney waited for more. She was sure there was, but that was more than enough for him for one day. She gently moved out from behind him and pulled the plug on the bathtub. He looked up at her with a haunted look.

"It's ok, I'm going to refill it…you shouldn't get cold…" she started adding water to the tub again, not letting it all drain out so he didn't get cold. Once the water was hot again and the tub was full, she moved back down towards him. She sat on his legs this time and eased him back so his head was resting on the pillow again.

"Vaughn, I'm so sorry…I wish I had gotten to you sooner, I wish I knew what to say to you to make it better, to make it go away, but I really don't think there are words to make it go away. If I could, I'd take it all away…I can't make the memories go away and I can't take away what they did to you, but I can be here for you…I can hold you…I can talk to you…I can listen…and I can guarantee that with time, it will get better."

Vaughn continued to look at Sydney, "You do more than you can possibly imagine…right here, Syd, this is enough. I can't think of what else I could want or need…"

She leaned down and kissed him and looked him poignantly. "Do you want me to make love to you?"

"More than anything else…I…I need to be inside you…"

She needed no further encouragement. She reached down and stroked his semi-hard cock to its full hardness. Slowly she mounted him, never losing eye contact. She waited until he was inside her fully and then reached up to his face and put her hand on his cheek, "You're safe…"

He nodded and cried softly. She leaned forward and held onto him while he cried. When the tears stopped running she looked back at him and began to move. She moved gently, the water in the tub moved as well, softly brushing against the edges of the tub. Steam rose around them and Sydney squeezed Vaughn's penis with her inner muscles, pulling him further inside her. She came back off until he was barely inside her and crashed back down. His legs shuddered and he moved them closer to his body so he could get deeper. She looked down at him, "Be careful, ok?"

He nodded and smiled, but left his legs where they were. She placed her hands on either side of his head and held onto the edge of the tub as she moved him inside her. She let him thrust gently, but reminded him with a glance to be careful. He smiled again and thrust upward, and as she came back down onto him she could feel the head of his penis bumping her cervix. "Oh God Vaughn." She moaned. He smiled as they did it again.

"Hey, who's comforting who here?" she chided.

"Why can't we do both?" he asked quietly.

She smiled and the next time he bumped her cervix she squeezed her muscles and he let out a loud moan. Two can play that game then, she thought. They moved in unison, softly, gently, tenderly, moving to the steps of their familiar dance of love. Vaughn watched in wonder as he saw his cock appearing and disappearing inside Sydney. He couldn't think of anything more wonderful, anyone more wonderful, or any other place that he'd rather be. That's always the way it was with Sydney. He loved just being in the same room with her. He realized the extent of what she was taking on here, his nightmare and her own, of the fragileness of life and he fully intended not to take her gift to him lightly. He watched the emotions playing across her face, the look of love and desire in her eyes and the comfort that he received just from her simple glance. She seemed to notice that he had drifted slightly and placed her hand on his face drawing him back. She looked concerned for a moment, wondering if he was thinking about torture, but his smile reassured her. She arched her back further and listened to the delicious sounds of a new moan issuing from him. She opened her eyes to find his closed and leaned down to kiss him.

She moved from his mouth to every inch of his face and then ended up at his neck, kissing and sucking on the sensitive spot she knew existed there. Once he was purring, she stopped and leaned back up again. Knowing she had his full attention once again, she started her motions.

His splinted fingers moved to her hips and he moved with her as she rocked on him. "Hey, try not to get those wet…ok?" she said breathlessly. He could only nod; he was getting close, she could tell and she wanted him to feel as safe as possible when he came. She renewed her efforts once again and was rather surprised when she felt Vaughn's finger on her clit. She convulsed almost violently, it had been so long since he had touched her there. She came instantly, looking down at him through her moans, watching him watch her. She wanted him to come with her, so she leaned forward and used her muscles again to pull him in her further. His head pushed back against the edge of the tub, and she whispered, "Vaughn, I want you to come inside me, deep inside me. Push up," she stated. He complied and felt her squeeze him again. He thought he'd pass out from the sensations her inner muscles were having on his penis. "More," she said, "all the way honey." She helped him until he felt a final barrier give way. She squeezed once more powerfully and bared down on him saying, "You can't go any farther, Vaughn, this is as safe as you're ever going to be…you're in my womb." His eyes shot open at that remark and she caught him as he spasmed violently, shooting into her. She could feel the heat of his ejaculation deep inside her, and his orgasm sparked another one of her own. She held him as he came down, and she realized he was crying again. She whispered as she held him, "It's ok, you're safe…"

He moved away slightly with tears still in his eyes, "I know, Sydney, I know…" She held him a while longer, but finally said, "Vaughn, honey, I hate to tell you this, but we really need to get out of this tub soon before someone thinks we've drown and breaks the door down or before we both turn into prunes, whichever comes first." She smiled at him and kissed him deeply.

"I love you Sydney," he whispered.

"I love you too…" she answered in return. She got off him then, and held out her hand to help him, and even though he was reluctant to leave the sanctuary of the tub and her warm embrace, he knew that she would be sleeping at his side as soon as they were back in his room. He accepted her hand and allowed her to dry him off. He relaxed as she reapplied the bandages and the rib wrap and checked his splints, to make sure they hadn't gotten wet while they were in the bath. Remarkably, they hadn't.

She had him wrapped in towels and was gently drying his hair while he relaxed in a more comfortable chair in the room. She looked down at him and touched his face again, smiling at the stubble that had gotten quite full on his face. They had shaved him when he first arrived in the ER, but that had been days ago, and Sydney hadn't really noticed how thick the stubble had gotten.

"Hey, do you want me to give you a shave before we go back to your room?"

"I hate shaving, Sydney."

"I know, that's why I'd do it for you, plus, I'd really like to see you try to give yourself a decent shave with three broken fingers on your left hand, the hand which also happens to be in a sling at the current moment. Right handed could get interesting too."

He smiled at her, "Ok…"

"Do you trust me Agent Vaughn?" she asked in a sexy voice.

"With all my heart, mind, body and soul, Sydney…all of which you currently hold in your hands," he answered equally romantically.

"Well, when you put it that way Vaughn…" she smiled seductively and went to get the razor.

She put a small amount of shaving cream on her hands and lathered up his cheeks, chin and neck. She took stock of any cuts that littered that area before applying the cream so she would know which spots to be particularly careful of. She then set to work, starting on his right cheek. He remained calm through the whole process, even though Sydney got a little shaky when she nearly opened a small cut on his neck. She thanked whatever lucky star she had woke up under that morning, that she had actually completed the whole thing without cutting him once. She wished she could have similar luck when she shaved her own legs, she mused.

"There," she said admiring her work after she cleaned the excess shaving cream off of his face.

She then went over to the cabinet and got some aftershave and applied that as well. Vaughn took his right hand and ran it over the newly shaved area.

"Well, I must say Agent Bristow, I think you're better at that than I am. I hope you enjoyed it, because unless I become ambidextrous, you'll probably be helping me with that for the next several months."

"It would be my absolute pleasure, Agent Vaughn. However, you may change your mind the next time when I'll probably cut half of your face off."

He laughed softly at their banter, feeling more at home than he had in a long time. Sydney was home; she was his salvation.

She helped him back to bed after the bath and shave, helped put his oxygen tube back on, and lay down next to him in the bed, praying that tonight, he would sleep soundly through the rest of the night.


	18. The Forced Suggestion

P/N: Season 5 startles like in 3hrs. and 15mins. The countdown is on. Enjoy and review.

**Chapter 18: The Forced Suggestion**

_"I'll not listen to reason. Reason is always what someone else has got to say." – Elizabeth C. Gaskell_

* * *

that perhaps she just hadn't woken, and sat up quickly to make sure he was ok. He was awake and smiling at her.She woke the next morning almost surprised that she hadn't been woken by Vaughn, in the torrents of a nightmare. She worried for a second

"What's wrong Syd?" he asked when he saw concern written all over her face.

"Are you ok? Did you have a nightmare?" she asked almost wildly.

He smiled, "No, no nightmare, at least not since I had that really nice bath and everything. I woke up a little while ago, I was watching you sleep."

"So you're ok…" she said almost to reassure herself as she got up out of the bed.

"Yeah, I'm ok…are you? What's wrong?"

"I'm fine. I was just worried that I maybe slept through your nightmare and you had to go through it all alone."

"Well…I don't think anyone with in a block radius could sleep through me in a nightmare, but you know, it would be alright if you missed one Sydney. You shouldn't feel guilty or anything, despite what I might say at the time, ok?"

"I don't plan on going anywhere or missing one anyway, Vaughn."

"I'm just saying, I don't want you to feel responsible for me all the time. I know you'll have to go home and go to work eventually…I'm just enjoying you here every minute now…and I'm not saying that I wouldn't want you here all the time or that I don't need you, but I understand if you need to go somewhere or just get away from me for awhile…it can be pretty intense…so can I as you well know…"

She looked at him thoughtfully, "What would you do if I left?"

He looked at her for a few minutes, and she swore that he instantly looked about nine years old. It made her want to take care of him even more.

"Well…I don't know…I'd deal with it…"

"Like you dealt with the nurse who came in?"

He looked at her angrily, "Hey, now that's different. First of all, that was like day two, and besides that she pretty much assaulted me…all I was saying was that I'm an adult and I can take care of myself for awhile if you wanted to leave."

"Ok, ok…I don't want to leave though Vaughn…" she thought again for a moment, "Did Dr. Kerns tell you to say that?"

"No, why?"

"Well, he said something like that to me, that I could go home for awhile if I wanted…"

"You can if you want."

"What's with you? One minute you're clinging and won't let go, it's like death if I leave you, and now you're practically pushing me out the door."

He sighed resignedly, "Look, all I'm saying is that you don't have to stay here with me if you don't want to. I don't want to be some burden for you, so you feel like you're chained to this room with me. That's all…I don't want you to leave, I'm just saying that if you need to get away, you can."

Dr. Kerns picked that moment to enter the room, cutting short their argument. He seemed to sense the tension in the room, "Is everything alright?"

Vaughn looked at Sydney and she responded, "Everything's fine, we were just talking…what can we do for you Dr.?"

"I wanted to talk to Mr. Vaughn about something we discussed briefly yesterday."

Sydney was instantly protective of Vaughn and took a step closer to him. "What was that?" she asked.

"My colleague coming to talk with him," Dr. Kerns answered.

"What colleague?" asked Vaughn, confused.

Sydney decided to field that question before Dr. Kerns could answer, "He wants you to talk to his colleague about what happened to you…remember, I mentioned it to you yesterday…"

"You mean a shrink," Vaughn stated.

"My colleague is a psychologist, Mr. Vaughn, and a very good one at that."

"Your colleague is still a shrink, Dr. Kerns." Sydney stated.

"I don't need to talk to anyone, I've got Sydney…" Vaughn stated in reply.

"Look, Mr. Vaughn. I said this to Sydney yesterday, while I think that's it wonderful that she seems to be everything you need, I think you need to widen your support base. Sydney is wonderful, but she can't be there for everything...you eventually will need to open up to someone else."

Vaughn looked at Dr. Kerns seriously, "I'm not an idiot. I didn't get brain damaged when I was tortured, and I know that Sydney isn't going to be able to be there every minute. In fact, we were just talking about that. That said Dr., I'm not going to just spill my whole life's history to someone I don't know just because you think I need more support. Next thing I know, I'll be crying to your colleague because somehow this whole ordeal can be related to the death of the family dog when I was six."

"Mr. Vaughn, I assure you that my colleague is a professional."

"That's great for your colleague, I still don't want to talk to them."

"You know Mr. Vaughn, if I think it's in your best interest, and it's a health issue, I can force you to see him."

Sydney decided this should be her moment to jump in, "Dr. Kerns, I know you have Vaughn's best interest in mind here, but there's no need to use threats. If Vaughn doesn't want to talk to your friend than he doesn't have to."

"I'm recommending that he talk to Mr. Vaughn, and I don't need your approval Ms. Bristow or your consent Mr. Vaughn. He'll be paying you a visit shortly." With that, Dr. Kerns left the room.

Sydney turned to Vaughn who was looking at the door with apprehension. He looked like a little boy again and she sat down on the edge of the bed. He turned to look at her, and she could see the fear mounting in his eyes.

"Hey," she said softly, "you don't have to tell him anything…"

"I know…"

Sydney really didn't know what else to say, so she just picked up his hand and held it. Sydney didn't really know how much time they had spent like that, but suddenly the door opened and a short man with dark brown hair entered the room. She felt Vaughn's hand grip hers tighter and the rest of his body followed suit.

"Hello, I am Dr. Ramsay. Dr. Kerns asked me to come and talk with you." He moved over towards the bed and stuck out his hand. "I assume you must be Sydney, Dr. Kerns told me about you."

"I see…" she said as she shook his hand. Dr. Ramsay then turned to Vaughn and put his hand out again.

"You must be Mr. Vaughn then."

"There doesn't seem to be anyone else in the room…" Vaughn said and he did not shake the doctor's hand.

Dr. Ramsay moved his hand back down to his side. "Sydney, do you think you could give us a few moments alone?"

Sydney looked at Vaughn and he said, "Actually, I'd rather she stay."

Dr. Ramsay looked down at Vaughn, "I'm sorry, that's not possible in therapy. There is the doctor/patient privilege legality to worry about, you understand…"

"No, I don't," answered Vaughn shortly, "I'll waive it, I want her to stay."

Dr. Ramsay changed his tone, "Mr. Vaughn, I can have her escorted out, or she can leave on her own power, it's your decision."

Sydney looked down at Vaughn. She didn't care for the way this doctor was handling her former handler. He was being almost overly insensitive and she knew this wouldn't go well.

"Excuse me, can you give us a minute?" Sydney asked, but her tone suggested that there wasn't much asking involved.

Dr. Ramsay looked between the two for a moment and then said, "Of course."

After he left, Vaughn looked up at Sydney, "I don't want to talk to him at all, and I certainly don't want to talk to him with you not here."

"I know Vaughn, but we really don't have a choice in the matter. You're going to have to talk to him at least this once, until I can figure out something else. Maybe we can get you transferred to the Naval hospital, or get Dr. Barnett to come here. Until then, you're going to have to talk to him. I think it's better we use the 'own power' option over me being escorted out the room. Otherwise, they may not let me back in to see you. I'm sorry honey," she said as she touched his cheek, "We're kind of stuck here…I don't know what else to do…"

He looked at her, "Ok…"

"I'll be right outside, ok?"

"Yeah."

She kissed him and got up to leave. "It'll be ok Vaughn." She knew she didn't sound very reassuring.

He looked at her with dread in his eyes and said nothing as she walked out.


	19. Fear

**Chapter 19: Fear**

_"Hell is other people." – Sartre_

* * *

Once she was out in the hall, she marched right over to where Drs. Kerns and Ramsay were standing talking.

She pointed her finger widely at both of them and said, "He was opening up to me, he told me more than he's told anyone else about what happened to him last night and I want to tell you both that I'm completely against this whole thing and I'll be searching for other alternatives for his continued hospital care." She looked to Dr. Ramsay and got nose to nose with the short man. "If you hurt him, I'll hurt you…" With that, she took off down the hall to find her father.

Dr. Ramsay watched her walk away in a state of shock. He turned back to Dr. Kerns and said, "She's a fiery one, isn't she?" he chuckled to himself and went back to Vaughn's room.

Sydney found her father back in the waiting room getting something out of a vending machine. She ran up almost hysterically.

"Dad!"

Jack Bristow did something that Sydney never thought she would see in her entire lifetime, he jumped.

"Jesus Sydney! You startled me."

She held back a laugh, but remembered her intended purpose. "Dad, you have to find Dr. Barnett or contact someone at the Naval hospital. Dr. Kerns is insisting that Vaughn speak with this shrink colleague of his and he's a real asshole. To top it off, he won't let me stay in the room, and I know this isn't going to go well, but he won't listen to me. We have to get Vaughn moved."

"Ok Sydney, calm down. I'll contact Barnett and I'll call Kendall to see if he can work something out with the Naval hospital. Ok?"

She hugged her father who was surprised but hugged her back as well. "Thanks dad."

"Of course Sydney."

She walked off and before Jack turned to call Kendall, he watched his daughter walk away in amazement, the little girl that he had missed out on had turned into the best person he knew. He smiled sadly as he walked to the phones.

Sydney stationed herself outside of Vaughn's door, hoping that if there was a commotion, she would be able to hear it.

Vaughn sat in the bed, waiting Dr. Frankenstein's return, dreading every moment and desperately wishing Sydney were with him. He told himself to stop being such a baby, he had told Sydney that he could handle stuff without her, and now it was going to be put to the test. He felt ill already, and the doctor hadn't even come into the room yet. He couldn't get up and walk away, he couldn't leave the hospital, much less even the bed on his own power, he was totally helpless to his fate. All he could to was wait.

Trepidation filled him as the Dr. walked back into the room. Vaughn eyed him suspiciously as he took a seat too close for Vaughn's liking and opened a folder.

He smiled at Vaughn, but Vaughn didn't return the gesture.

"Now, Mr. Vaughn, Michael is it?" he looked up at Vaughn. Vaughn didn't respond.

"Ok…why don't you tell me some things about yourself." Vaughn didn't respond.

"Michael? Did you hear me?"

"Yes, I did."

"Ok, then, why don't I just ask you some questions instead." Vaughn didn't respond again, and found a very interesting spot on the wall that he could look at.

"You work for the CIA is that correct?"

Vaughn nodded.

"What do you do there?"

"Lots of things…"

"Could you be more specific?"

"No."

"Ok…what about Ms. Bristow, what is your relationship with her?"

At the sound of Sydney's name, Vaughn looked at the doctor, who seemed satisfied by his reaction.

"I don't think that's really any of your business," Vaughn said coldly.

"Well, it's obviously a big part of your life, any fool could see that…what is the nature of your relationship, how did you meet, how do you feel about her?"

"What is this the Newlywed game or something?"

"Mr. Vaughn, please."

"I'm not going to answer that, it's none of your business."

"Ok, let's move on then," the doctor looked down at the sheet in his hands, "When were you kidnapped?"

"A while ago."

"How long were you in the custody of your assailants?"

"I lost track of time."

"What did they do to you?"

"They tortured me."

"In what way?"

"Lots of ways."

"Such as?"

"Such as lots of shit, ok?"

"There is no need for profanity, Mr. Vaughn. What kinds of torture were you subjected to?"

"What do you want, a list?" Vaughn asked exasperatedly.

"That would be fine." The doctor got his pen ready to write down notes.

"Beatings, burnings, whippings, just about anything they could think of."

The doctor busily jotted things down, which immediately began driving Vaughn nuts.

"How did they go about this? What were their methods? Who were they exactly, if you know?"

"I know, but you don't need to, and they used a variety of methods."

"How did it make you feel?"

"How did it make me feel?" Vaughn asked as if he didn't hear the question correctly.

"Yes, how did it make you feel?"

"Like shit, it hurt, what do you think it felt like? Have you ever been tortured doctor?"

"No, but I can imagine it wasn't pleasant."

Vaughn snorted with laughter.

"Is something funny Mr. Vaughn?"

"Yeah, you are…did it hurt? What did it feel like? What the hell kinds of questions are those? You couldn't possibly know what it felt like, it's not like anything you can imagine."

"Well, why don't you elaborate then, and help me understand."

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"For one, I don't trust you, and two, I don't particularly want to help you understand, I don't want to think about it."

"If you don't talk about it, it will wind up eating you alive Mr. Vaughn."

"I'll talk about it, just not with you."

"With Ms. Bristow then? You'll talk to her?"

"I already have."

"And what happens when she doesn't want to hear any more Mr. Vaughn? What happens when she isn't here?"

Vaughn looked with hatred at the doctor.

"I'm only saying what is obvious Mr. Vaughn. What is your greatest fear, Mr. Vaughn? I doubt that it's being taken again; I'd guess it would have to do with Ms. Bristow. What happens if she doesn't want to talk about torture and nightmares and the like? What will you do then?"

Vaughn was silent.

"Does that scare you Mr. Vaughn?"

Vaughn looked away and said quietly, "yes."

"I'm sorry, what did you say Mr. Vaughn?"

"I said yes…"

"Let's go back to the torture. Perhaps you'll want to talk about it with me now…"

Vaughn was silent, but tears were starting to appear. The doctor paid them no attention.

"What did they do to you, describe a typical torture session."

It was a lot like this one, Vaughn thought. "Typical? I don't think there is anything typical about torture."

"Did they hit you with their fists?"

"Yes."

"Kick you?"

"Yes."

"Use instruments? You mentioned whips, did they use other things?"

Vaughn was losing his composure, "Y…Yes."

"What did they burn you with? Matches?"

"Yes."

"Cigarettes, cigars?"

Vaughn started to shake. "Yes," he said softly.

"Did they heat up objects and burn you with them?"

Vaughn nodded.

"Did they leave imprints of the objects?"

Vaughn nodded again.

"Did they interrogate you?"

Vaughn nodded.

"What did they interrogate you about? Your work?"

Vaughn shook his head no. His breathing was beginning to elevate and he could feel his skin getting hot. His palms were sweaty.

"What then? What did they talk to you about? Did they threaten you?"

Vaughn nodded.

"Threaten loved ones?"

Tears started falling as Vaughn nodded to that question.

"Threaten Sydney?"

Vaughn lost all composure at that remark.

"What did they say they were going to do to her? Hurt her?"

Vaughn nodded.

"What else?"

Vaughn was silent as he continued to cry. The doctor seemed oblivious, and pushed further.

"Mr. Vaughn? What else?"

Vaughn did not reply.

"Mr. Vaughn? Tell me what else they threatened. Did they threaten to rape her?"


	20. The Last Straw

P?N: What can I say? I'm feeling generous. So enjoy the tripple update. Please review.

**Chapter 20: The Last Straw**

_"I'm tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay." – Madonna _

"The personal, as everyone's so fucking fond of saying, is political. So if some idiot politician, some power player, tries to execute policies that harm you or those you care about, take it personally. Get angry. The Machinery of Justice will not serve you here – it is slow and cold, and it is theirs, hardware and soft. Only the little people suffer at the hands of Justice; the creatures of power slide from under it with a wink and a grin. If you want justice, you will have to claw it from them. Make it personal. Do as much damage as you can. Get your message across. That way, you stand a better chance of being taken seriously next time. Of being considered dangerous. And make no mistake about this: being taken seriously, being considered dangerous makes the difference, the only difference in their eyes, between players and little people. Players they will make deals with. Little people they liquidate. And time and again they cream your liquidation, your displacement, your torture and brutal execution with the ultimate insult that it's just business, it's politics, it's the way of the world, it's a tough life and that it's nothing personal. Well, fuck them. Make it personal." – Altered Carbon, Richard Morgan

* * *

Sydney was sitting in the hallway, waiting for her father to return or the doctor to come out. She decided she'd wait to see which happened first. After about ten minutes, she started to feel ill. She couldn't describe the feeling, but she knew something was wrong, something was wrong with Vaughn. She got up and stood facing the door. She contemplated silently for a moment, wondering if she was just being paranoid. She'd probably walk in on a normal therapy session and then she'd feel extremely foolish, but the feeling wouldn't go away. She pushed the door open. She came in just at the tail end of a question the doctor was asking about threatening rape.

Vaughn was sitting on the bed, if you could call it that; he had moved to roll himself into as much of a ball as he could. Tears were streaming down his face and he was shaking uncontrollably. She was furious.

"Get the hell out of here, NOW!" she screamed at the doctor.

Instantly, Dr. Kerns and a few nurses entered the room as well, after they heard Sydney.

"What's the meaning of this?" Dr. Kerns asked, looking at Sydney.

"That's my question!" she said as she moved towards Vaughn's bed. "Look at him! This is your idea of therapy? Does it usually end up in this manner, because I can tell you, I've been in therapy before, and I've never ended up like this! What is this, a Gestapo interrogation?"

She moved over to Vaughn's shaking form, and he shuddered away.

"Hey, it's me…it's me…" Once Vaughn heard Sydney's voice, he lurched at her. She caught him before he launched himself off the bed and held onto him. His breath was coming out in heaves, the tears continued to fall and his body was still shaking uncontrollably. His gown was wet and as she ran her hand through his hair, she noted that was wet as well.

Jack entered the room not a moment later and joined his daughter near Vaughn's bed.

"Would someone like to explain to me what's going on here?"

Dr. Kerns answered, "Your daughter has just interrupted a therapy session…"

Dr. Ramsay added, "I'm not finished with Mr. Vaughn yet, either. I want all of you to leave, and I want Ms. Bristow escorted off the premises so we can continue without interruption. There is nothing to be worried about, I am a professional."

Vaughn lost it completely and grabbed onto Sydney. "No…I don't want them to take you away…Sydney please," he begged her, "Don't leave me here…I don't want to stay here anymore."

Sydney was crying too, "It's ok Vaughn, I'm not leaving you here…it's ok." She tried to comfort him further.

Jack moved over to the other side of Vaughn's bed where Dr. Ramsay was still sitting. He looked at Dr. Kerns, "Mr. Vaughn is no longer a patient of this hospital. He will no longer need your medical attention or your psychiatric attention, Dr. Ramsay. He's being moved to a CIA sanctioned hospital. The team is on the way now. He should be moved within the hour and any necessary paper work that needs to be filed is to taken up with FBI Assistant Director Kendall. I should add that the team that is coming to get Mr. Vaughn is an armed escort, and anyone who attempts to interfere with his transfer will be taken into custody with no questions asked. Assistant Director Kendall has also launched an investigation into the psychiatric methods of this hospital and it's staff. Are there any questions?"

Drs. Kerns and Ramsay looked with astonishment at Jack and at the couple on the bed.

Jack added, "I take you silence to mean that you understand the government's requirements in this matter. If you don't mind," he gestured to the door.

The doctors and nurses left dumbfounded.

Jack turned to look at his daughter and Vaughn. He took a chair at the far end of the room near the door, to wait for the transfer team.

Sydney was cradling Vaughn's limp body in a posture she was getting quite familiar with. She silently cursed that she had ever left Vaughn alone with Dr. Ramsay. His body was still shaking and he was whimpering softly.

"Vaughn, I'm so sorry…I shouldn't have left you alone with him. I should have known better, I should have put up more of a protest. I'm sorry sweetie," she murmured as she kissed the top of his head.

It took Sydney a moment to realize that Vaughn was talking, he was talking so low, it was almost impossible to hear him.

"What honey? I didn't hear you…what did you say?"

Vaughn said through his tears, "I'm sorry Sydney, I tried…I tried…"

She was confused, "What are you sorry for? Tried what?"

"I didn't want to talk to him…he…he made me…I didn't want to remember those things…not now…I…I…he sounded like them…he…was…was…he was right what he said," he broke down into a series of sobs and Sydney held him closer.

She said, "Vaughn, you didn't do anything wrong. This wasn't your fault. That wasn't a therapy session; it was an interrogation. What did he say? What do you mean he was right? Right about what honey?"

"He said my greatest fear was that you wouldn't be there with me, that you'd be taken away…he was right, I can't…I tried to do it without you…you can't be there all the time…when you want to leave, I'm going to have to…to…deal with it on my own."

"Vaughn, he's wrong…" she bent down further and said while moving his head, "Look at me, he's wrong…I'm not going anywhere…do you hear me, I'm not going anywhere! You don't have to do this alone; you don't have to be brave right now. I don't want to leave you; the thought of leaving you hasn't even crossed my mind once! You can depend on me, it's my turn to be there for you…just like you've been there for me…it's ok to need me…I'll be here, and I swear to you, no one is going to hurt you again…NO ONE."

She kissed him and held onto him again as he cried. She rubbed circles over his back and tried to get him to calm down.

"Vaughn? What else did he say to you? What has you so upset?"

Vaughn sniffled, and tried to compose himself. "He wanted me to tell him what they did to me…and what they said. I wouldn't say anything, so he started suggesting…" he shuddered before he continued in a quieter tone, "He sounded just like them Sydney. It was like I was right back there with Sloane…"

Sydney held onto him tighter again, "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry he did that to you, that you had to go through that again…"


	21. Starting Again, A New Beginning

**Chapter 21: Starting Again/A New Beginning**

_"When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud, either." – Leo Burnett_

* * *

Jack watched the scene unfolding before him with amazement. He could see the pain reflecting off of Vaughn. What amazed him more was his daughter. She was constant; she was there…like he had never been. He thought back to all that he had missed and all that he hadn't done. He felt so guilty sitting there witnessing this act of love. He felt like an intruder, trespassing on ground where he didn't belong. He silently wondered how a child that had been raised in an environment like she had, devoid of so much emotion, could turn out exactly the opposite, and be what he was not. He was brought out of his thoughts when the door opened. He immediately stood up; ready to help Sydney and Vaughn if it was one of the doctors, but thankfully, it was Weiss, with the transfer team.

Weiss took one look at the bed and then looked at Jack, "What happened? I came as fast as I could, when I heard. Why does Vaughn have to be moved?"

Jack looked at Weiss, "We've had some…trouble…with the staff at this hospital, most recently with a doctor who was not qualified to be doing the type of therapy he did on Vaughn. It's time we leave and move him to a better facility, better equipped for this type of trauma.

Sydney had been talking to Vaughn in hushed tones before and during Weiss' entrance.

"Dad?" she asked.

"Yes Sydney."

"I want to take Vaughn home with me."

Jack looked at Weiss and then back at Sydney, "Sydney, the transfer is for Vaughn to be moved to the Naval hospital, not your house."

"Yes, I know that dad, but I think Vaughn would be more comfortable at my house. He doesn't want to go to another hospital."

"Sydney, while I empathize with this situation, and I understand your need and want to give Vaughn what's best, I think it would be better if he was at least examined and released by the doctors at the Naval hospital."

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "Maybe that is the best plan, Vaughn."

He started to protest.

"Wait, Vaughn. Just listen. We'll take you to the Naval hospital. The doctors will check you out, and then we can go home, ok? It would be better if I knew what to do for you. They can give me a list of instructions and everything I'd need to take care of you at home. Ok?"

Vaughn nodded his agreement.

"Ok, let's move him."

With that, the transfer began. Sydney stayed with a scared Vaughn through the whole process. The EMTs from the Naval hospital loaded Vaughn onto a gurney and prepared him for the ride over to the hospital. Once he was stabilized, they took him to the waiting ambulance, and Sydney and Jack got in the back while Weiss got in the front. Another team of agents followed in a car behind them, as security. They encountered no opposition form the doctors or staff at Good Samaritan, but of course, no one could get within five feet of Vaughn's gurney either.

Sydney held Vaughn's hand and talked to him the whole way to the Naval hospital. Jack watched again silently, and Weiss was also very quiet on the ride over, watching the couple with interest.

They reached the Naval hospital and unloaded Vaughn. They had been pre-informed of his condition, and the sensitivity of the case they were now handling. They were much more efficient than the staff at Good Samaritan. They let Sydney stay through all the examinations and limited the number of other people in the room to no more than two others. Once Vaughn was checked physically and they got him changed from his moist gown, they moved him to a private room. Sydney stayed with him again, while they waited for the prognosis.


	22. Dr Tom

**Chapter 22: Dr. Tom**

_"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." – Ralph Waldo Emerson_

* * *

A few hours later, a doctor entered the room quietly and smiled at the couple.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Thomas Barker. You can call me Dr. Tom, that's what everyone calls me. Let's see, you're vitals look good, Michael, you're breathing better than you were when you came in here. I still think you need the oxygen, but that'll taper off as time goes on. How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired…" Vaughn said.

"I'm sure you are. Let me guarantee that your stay here will be much less traumatic than your last hospital visit. There will be no "Gestapo" interrogations, as Ms. Bristow said in her statement, at this hospital, rest assured."

Vaughn smiled. Sydney saw this and smiled as well. It was good to see him smile. He seemed to be much more relaxed here and reprimanded herself for not insisting they bring Vaughn to the hospital he'd already been in more than once.

Sydney piped up, "Actually doctor, we were hoping to make this a rather short hospital stay. I'd really like to take Vaughn home, if it's at all possible."

The doctor looked inquisitively at the couple and then said, "Where would you be taking him?"

"I'd be taking him to my house, doctor."

"I see…and what qualifications do you have for his care? Were you planning on a nurse or something?"

"Uh, no doctor. I'm fully qualified to handle wound changing and things like that, I've been doing that now while Vaughn was in the hospital, I've already helped with bathing and shaving and other essentials. Plus, I have all the trauma CIA training as well. My house is all one level, except for the basement, and there are no stairs anywhere in the house. I have a roommate, and her boyfriend practically lives there anyway if I needed extra help getting Vaughn somewhere, but I am pretty strong myself…and…"

Sydney stopped when she looked at the doctor and saw that he was chuckling.

"What?" she asked.

She looked at Vaughn who was also chuckling.

"I'm sorry Sydney, I had to do that…I know Michael, we went to college together. I've heard a lot about you as well, all good of course…"

She saw Vaughn's green eyes twinkling up at her.

"You guys suck," she said. He grinned again and she was rewarded with her first sight of his dimples since he had been back. God it was good to see those she thought.

Dr. Tom continued, "I really think you should stay overnight, Mike. I want to make sure that your ordeal at G.S. didn't hurt you in any ways we can't outwardly tell. Tomorrow morning, we'll do another exam and if nothing shows up by then, we can start thinking about letting you go home. Now, I should also say, I know they called in Dr. Barnett to come see you tomorrow and that'd be standard if you were even thinking of going home. So she's gonna wanna talk to you as well before you go. I think there's a little bit of crisis management going on, the CIA wants to make sure their agent is still sane and everything. And from what I hear, they are totally going to wipe the floor with the asses of the staff at Good Samaritan. Anyway, Sydney, you and I will need to discuss home care if you're serious about it and actually we might want to do that now, so we know if it's something you really want to take on here."

Sydney took one look at a sleepy Vaughn, "It is," she stated simply.

"Well, ok, but let's talk…why don't we go out here and let Mike get some rest, ok?"

Sydney looked down at Vaughn who yawned and nodded.

She was surprised he was going to let her go that easily, but then again she felt guilty for not bringing him here in the first place.

She got up from her perch next to Vaughn, kissed him lightly on the forehead and followed Dr. Tom out of the room.


	23. Home Care

**Chapter 23: Home Care**

_"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." – Gilda Radner_

* * *

Once they were out in the hall, Sydney and Dr. Tom sat down at a table. He excused himself momentarily and brought back a folder. Sydney could see when he opened it that it contained a bunch of material.

"Ok, Sydney. This is a whole packet on home care. It goes over the basics, what to do in case of emergency, all that jazz. Then it lists common warning signs for things, some of which apply to Mike, but not all of them. Here, let's highlight the ones for Mike." He pulled out a highlighter and began to go down the list, highlighting things she should look for to know if he was in distress.

"Ok, that should do it for the list…I have to tell you, home care is not easy. The reason there are hospitals is so normal people don't have to take on illnesses and the like at home. So, choosing this route, you have to be sure this is what you really want to do."

Sydney looked up at him, "It is."

He looked at her for a minute, "This would mean constant attention, you can forget about work and any outside social life until he gets better. This would be a huge sacrifice."

"No, Vaughn's made the huge sacrifice, I'm just helping out. He's the one that's hurt, he's the one this happened to…I'm already doing that anyway. It would be easier to do from home. I don't think work will be a problem and well, Vaughn usually takes up the largest part of my social life anyway, and my roommate will be there, I know she'll help when she can."

"Alright, then we can move on to daily care. There's the bandage changing and monitoring his breathing, checking the oxygen until he doesn't need it anymore. There's bathing, shaving and all that stuff. Plus, you'll have to help him get around for like, trips to the bathroom and stuff. You'll have to make the meals, do the dishes, all that too. Plus, you'll have to help him eat until his arm is better."

"Dr., I already do all that. And plus, at home, meals and dishes and all that are part of having a home, that's not an addition to taking care of him, those are necessities that I have to do for myself as well. I know this isn't going to be a piece of cake, but I don't think taking care of Vaughn at home is going to be all that different than taking care of Vaughn in the hospital."

"Listen, I just don't want you to get in over your head, ok? For one, I don't want to see you burn yourself out, and for two, I don't want to have to see him come back here in a month, I don't think that would be healthy for him. If he's in the hospital, he's in the hospital, but if he's at home, than he's going to want to stay at home. Do you understand what I mean? If this is too much for you to take on, it'd just be better if he stayed here, even if that's not what both of you want. I need to know that you can do this, for your sake, but for his too. He's a friend Sydney, enough crap has already happened to him, you know?"

"Yeah, I think I might know even better than you since I was there, and besides that, he may be your friend, but I love him…I wouldn't say I could do it if I didn't think I could. I'm not going to bail on him."

"I just had to make sure, gotta protect my boy, you know?" he smiled.

"I'm protecting my boy…don't you worry, I got him here, didn't I?"

"Yes, Sydney, you did…ok, so…then you'll also need to administer his pain medication, but we'll set up a chart and stuff for you so you know what to give him and how much, etc. etc."

They went over other preliminary things, discussing even such things as bedding material, pillows, elevation capabilities, the surface of the couch and about a million other things that Sydney wouldn't have thought of.

After they were finished, and Dr. Tom was satisfied that Sydney really knew what she was doing, he bid her goodnight.

"I'll see you in the morning then, Sydney. Goodnight."

"Thanks, Dr. Tom."

"You can just call me Tom…"

"Ok…" Sydney said as he walked off down the hall.

"Hey, tell Mike I said good night," he said as he rounded the corner.

"Ok," she said as she entered his room.

She smiled as she saw him lying in the bed, sleeping. She made her way over to the chair next to the bed and settled in there, not wanting to disturb him. About fifteen minutes later when she was just about to fall asleep, she heard, "Syd? You still awake?"

She turned to see Vaughn looking at her sleepily.

"Yeah, I'm still awake. Are you ok?" she asked concerned.

He smiled, "Yeah, I'm ok…aren't you going to lay with me?"

"I didn't want to wake you up when I came in before…" she got up and scooted him over so she could lie down next to him. She snuggled in and kissed his cheek.

"Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you…again…"

"I only wish I could have brought you here sooner, I should have taken you here first…I'm so sorry Vaughn, it just added more crap for you at the other hospital."

"It's ok, Sydney. We're here now, that's all that matters…" he was quiet for a minute and then added, "Do you think they'll really let me out of here soon?"

"Maybe," she said.

"Syd?"

"Yeah," she answered again, smiling at the way he sounded like a little boy again.

"Do you want to do this?"

"Do what? Take you home?"

"Yeah…"

She sat up so she could look at him, "Are you channeling the Gestapo agent again?"

He smirked, "Maybe…"

"Vaughn, I want to help, and I want to take you home…if you want to go with me, I'll take you."

"Are you sure this is what you want to spend the next few months doing? Listening to me whine and have nightmares and drive you insane?"

"Vaughn, I wouldn't want to spend the next few months anywhere else but with you. If you weren't going to come home with me, then I'd be here anyway. I'll take you as you are, ok? And I don't think you're going to drive me insane."

"Only if you're sure, Sydney, because I don't think I can come back here once I've left…it'd be hell all over again."

She thought about what Tom had said, "I won't let that happen. I can take care of you at home Vaughn. I want to take care of you, and the only way you'll come back to the hospital, any hospital is over my dead body…or you have some emergency or something, you know…"

"Ok…"

"Oh, Tom said goodnight," she remembered.

"Thanks…I love you Syd."

"I love you too…"

She snuggled back down with him and listened to his breathing get slower and watched as his eyes closed. She sat up briefly and kissed him and then settled on his chest. She was asleep in no time; it had been a busy day.


	24. Last Minute Preparations,Calling Cronies

**Chapter 24: Last Minute Preparations/Calling Cronies**

_**"**Why is what doctor's do called practice?" – Anon. _

"And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

* * *

Sydney woke up first in the morning, or when she looked at her watch, she should have said afternoon. She and Vaughn had slept until 2:00 PM. 'Wow,' she thought, 'we must have really been exhausted.' She looked down at Vaughn's still sleeping form and smiled a sad smile…'if only,' she thought. 'He could have been this peaceful all along, if I only would have brought him here.' She sighed and extricated herself from Vaughn's grasp. She walked to the private bathroom and washed her face. 'I really need a shower. The bath with Vaughn was nice, but this really would be so much easier if they were at home,' she thought. 'Home…that's funny, I kept referring to my house as Vaughn's. Even before he was taken, he rarely spent a night at his apartment, now it seems he's destined for my house for good…our house.' She smiled at the thought. 'If I can live with him while he was hurt, I can certainly live with him when he's not.' She was still smiling when she heard him call her name. She came out of the bathroom with a towel, wiping off her face.

"Morning," he said torpidly.

"Actually, it's afternoon," she replied as she made her way over to the bed and kissed him. "I think they let us sleep in."

"Mmm, that was nice of them."

She stroked his face, "You were really exhausted…so was I."

He turned to her seriously, "See, Sydney, you really have to think about this. This is what it's going to be like for you for the next few months."

"Vaughn, yesterday and the previous days were a mirage, they were a detour on our way, a fork in the road, to use more than one cliché. Those things aren't going to happen again. I won't be letting any Hitler wannabe's near you any time soon, so rest assured…it won't all be this hard…I know it's not going to be effortless either, there will be times I'm sure where I get exhausted, but that's no reason to not have you at home. I want to take you home, ok?"

"Ok…do you realize you keep saying you're taking me home?"

"Yes, I was thinking about that a minute ago. Come on, let's face it; you spend more time at my place now than you do at your place. I want my home to be your home too."

"My home is wherever you are, Sydney."

She looked down at him and kissed him passionately. He responded eagerly until they were interrupted by Dr. Tom's entrance.

"Good afternoon, kids," he said in a sing-song-y voice, "Are we having a good time?" he added.  
Both "kids" smiled. "Yeah, Tom, I was having a great time till you showed up. Wanna go away, and I'll try again?"

"Sorry kiddo, gotta check you out…gotta play doctor sometimes, you know."

"I bet you still use that line on all the ladies don't you, Tom?"

"Hey, a guy's gotta have a little fun, right?" he smiled down at Vaughn and continued on with a conversation about hockey while he examined him. Sydney realized it was much easier for Tom to examine Vaughn because he was already comfortable with him, and once again, she felt the familiar twinge of guilt.

When he was done he looked at both Sydney and Vaughn, "Ok, he looks good…you don't appear to have any injuries as a result of your fun time yesterday, you're breathing has stayed at a reasonable level, you still need the oxygen, but it's stable, and that's important. I think Barnett is going to be here in about a half hour, and then as long as she's ok with releasing you, I am too. Ok? Then we'll get everything ready that you're going to need at home, and we'll get you shipped out of here."

"Thanks Tom," Vaughn said.

"Anytime, Mike. Sydney, I'll see you guys later."

Once he left, Sydney went back over to Vaughn. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

"You're absolutely sure, Syd?"

"Yes, would you stop asking? For the last time, I want you to come home!"

"Ok, ok…"

"Hey, I should call Francie & Will, I haven't talked to them in days. Will you be ok while I'm gone?"

"Yeah, I'll be ok. Can you hand me the remote?"

"Sure," Sydney said happily, he hadn't ever asked for the remote in the other hospital. "Ok, I'll be back before Barnett gets here ok?"

"Yeah," he said as she kissed him.

She left him in the room and went to the phones. She dialed her house, and Francie answered, "Hello?"

"Francie it's me."

"Sydney! Where are you? Are you all right? Where have you been? My God, we've been worried sick!"

Sydney smiled as she heard Will practically yelling in the background.

"Yeah, I'm ok, I've been at the hospital."

"Oh my God! Are you hurt?" she could hear Will again.

"No, no, I'm ok…it's Vaughn, he's…hurt…"

"Oh no, what happened? Is he ok?"

Sydney tried to think of something really quickly…"Well, it's rather complicated, I'd rather not get into it over the phone, he's pretty beat up, but he's doing better. I'm actually bringing him home today, that's partly why I called. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner; I've just been with him 24/7. I'm so sorry I had you worried."

"That's ok, really, I'm glad…God would you stop…I'm glad he's ok…Syd, I'm sorry, Will's being an ass here, he wants to talk to you, here!" She could here Francie yelling at Will, something about men and control.

"Syd?"

"Hey Will."

"Are you ok? What happened?"

"Uh…I'll have to tell you later…I don't think these phones are…you know…"

"Right, right…but you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's Vaughn who got hurt, not me…remember, he went on that business trip…" she tried to get her point across. Will had known that Vaughn had been taken and presumably hurt, but he hadn't been in the loop since to know Vaughn was back.

"Business trip? OH! Right! Business trip…so something happened…while he was away?"

"Yeah, he's really banged up, but I'm bringing him home today if all goes well."

"Well he can't be too banged up if you're bringing him home…you bringing him here?"

"Yeah…and he is really banged up…we just…well…like I said…it's a long story…I'll tell you when we get home and he's settled, ok?"

"Yeah, sure, ok…"

"Can you put Francie back on for a minute Will?"

"Sure, here she is."

There was a rusting before Francie said in an annoyed tone "Thank You!" to Will. "Hey, ok, so before I was rudely bumped off the phone, you were saying…"

"Yeah, so I'm bringing Vaughn home, can you tidy up a bit? Go into my room and made sure the bed's got fresh sheets, and bring out some extra pillows from the linen closet? Oh, and make sure I don't have like bras hanging somewhere…"

"Sure…" there was pause and some muffled shouting, "Ok, I've sent gopher boy to go get them. Should we put them on your bed?"

"Yeah, that'd be great."

"Is there anything else we'll need for Michael?"

"Let me think…" Sydney thought for a minute, "We should probably stock up on some softer foods…you know, mashed potatoes, that kind of stuff."

"Like sick people food, soup and stuff? Or are we talking like invalid, Jell-O, pudding stuff."  
Sydney chuckled, "Why don't you get some of all of that, I'm not sure what he's gonna want to eat, you know…fluids, lots of fluids…juices and stuff."

"Sure, we'll go to the store right now…when are you bringing him?"

"We should be there in a few hours, probably right around dinnertime, or a little after. Just try to keep the hallway and the walkway clean, so we can get him through to the bedroom."

"Sure thing Syd. We'll have it all ready."

"Thanks Francie, you guys are the best."


	25. Eric, the dog watcherCalling Cronies, P

**Chapter 25: Eric, the dog watcher/Calling Cronies, Part 2**

_"For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet ) _

"And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

* * *

Sydney hung up the phone and was about to go back to Vaughn's room when she heard someone call her name. She turned to see Weiss coming towards her.

"Hey Eric."

"Hey Syd…how is he?"

"He's better Eric…how are you?"

"I'm ok…I know I haven't been around much for him, I guess after the way he reacted to me, I thought it would be better if I stayed away. It was really great the way you were with him though…see…I told he loved you…"

"Thanks, Eric. You know he was just uncomfortable with everything in that hospital Eric; it wasn't you specifically. He's gonna need people around now though."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm taking him home today if all goes as planned."

"Really? Is he, like, ok enough for that? Is he ready to go home already? Man, I thought that one doctor said it was going to be months."

"No, he's not that good, Eric. He just doesn't want to stay in any more hospitals. The doctors are letting me take him home though."

"That's great Syd. Listen, I've been taking care of Donovan for him. Maybe he'd like to have him at your place? If you don't want a dog in the house, I'd be glad to keep him, but I'm just thinking, maybe Vaughn would like to have him with him…"

"I think that'd be a great idea Eric. You know what, why don't you bring Donovan over…I'll call you when we get home, and you can come over with him. Does that sound good?"

"Uh…sure, if you think that'd be ok. I don't want to upset him or anything."

"Don't worry about it Eric…I think it'll be fine."

"Ok, well give me a call then when you want me to come over."

"I'll do that. Oh, can you bring food along for the dog too?"

"Yeah, sure."

"See you later."

"Bye, Syd."

Sydney went back to the phone and dialed Francie's cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me again."

"Hi, what's up? Think of something else we need to pick up?"

"Um, no…actually, I just told Vaughn's friend Eric that he could bring his dog over."

"Whose dog?"

"It's Vaughn's dog…Eric was keeping it for him while he's been in the hospital. Is that ok if his dog stays over too?"

Francie started laughing, "Yeah, Syd, his dog can sleep over too."

"Ok, I'll see you later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

With everything else in place, Sydney went back to Vaughn's room. He was watching ESPN on the TV when she opened the door. He smiled at her as she made her way over to the bed and kissed him.

"Well, everything is set at home, so if all goes well, we'll bust you outta here today, sweetie."

Vaughn's smile got even bigger. "You're wonderful, do you know that?"

"Of course I do…I realized though I should have asked you if there was anything you wanted when we got home. Do you want anything special?"

"What do you mean?"

"Anything, food, drink, stuff like that…we should pick up some of your clothes too…maybe Eric can do that," Sydney said almost talking to herself. "Anyway, was there anything extra you wanted, cause I can call Francie back again and she can pick it up."

"No, I don't think so…nothing I can think of…you're going to be there right?"

"Of course," she replied confused.

"Well, then that's all I need."

She understood, "You are so incredibly sweet…" she leaned down and kissed him again.

"I know…it's part of the Vaughn family charm."

"Should I ask Eric to bring some of your clothes over?"

"Sure, that'd be great…tell him to bring my hockey shirt, he'll know which one I mean."

"Ok, I'll have to go call him…be right back…" she got up to leave.

"Oh my God, Sydney," Vaughn said suddenly and sat up a little, wincing.

"Whoa! Easy there, what's the matter?"

"Sydney, I totally forgot about Donavan! He's probably lying on my apartment floor dead by now!"

"Cool it, honey! We got that covered. Eric's been keeping him at his place, Donovan's fine."

"Oh…good…that's good to know…"

"He picked him up like the same day we found out you were missing, he's ok."

"Well, I'm sure he's about 100 pounds heavier now too, the way Eric feeds him."

"Are you good now?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, I'm gonna call Eric."

"Ok."

Sydney went out again and called Eric to give him the other instructions on what to get from Vaughn's apartment to bring with him when he brought Donovan. Sydney was on her way back when she met Dr. Barnett in the hall. She was walking with Dr. Tom towards Vaughn's room and smiled as she saw Sydney. Sydney smiled back, but with a hint of apprehension and nervousness, hoping that this therapy session wasn't going to be a repeat of the last one Vaughn had encountered, and hoping as well that Barnett would consent to sending Vaughn home with her.


	26. Barnett

**Chapter 26: Barnett**

_"The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." – John A. Simone, Jr. _

"These things he said in words. But much in his heart remained unsaid. For he himself could not speak his deeper secret." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

* * *

Dr. Barnett and Dr. Tom stopped in front of Vaughn's door. They waited for Sydney and let her go in the room first. Vaughn smiled when he saw Sydney enter the room, but the smile faltered slightly when he saw her two companions. Sydney gave Vaughn a sympathetic look and went over to his bedside. She sat in the chair to the left of the bed and took Vaughn's hand. Dr. Tom and Dr. Barnett both smiled as they entered the room. Vaughn turned off the TV.

Dr. Tom was the first to speak, breaking the silence that seemed to hang in the room, "Well…uh, Dr. Barnett, this is Michael Vaughn and Sydney Bristow, but of course you already know that. I just stopped in to see Dr. Barnett to your room, Mike. I'll leave you guys alone, and I'll see you later," Tom quickly exited the room, leaving Dr. Barnett alone with the couple.

Sydney took inventory of the women in front of her. Even though she thought Dr. Barnett a capable therapist, she was still reluctant to let her talk to Vaughn.

Dr. Barnett smiled at Sydney's rather obvious scrutiny. "Well, it's nice to see you both again. I wish it were under better circumstances of course, but…well…I guess it's never really 'better circumstances' when we meet, is it?"

Neither of the pair said anything in reply, but Sydney managed a small smile.

"Ok, well, let's get started. Do you mind if I sit?" Sydney felt better already. If Barnett was asking personal space questions before anything else, this had to go better than the last one.

Vaughn spoke up, "No, go ahead, it'd be pretty uncomfortable to stand through the whole thing."  
Dr. Barnett smiled, "Well, I don't anticipate this taking long anyway…"

Vaughn looked over at her and smiled, "That's good."

"Ok, I understand you've been through a very difficult ordeal, compiled with a few nasty hospital visits, I don't blame you for wanting to go home. I'm just here to make sure that you're emotionally and psychologically ready to make that transition. I'm not here to judge you, and we don't need to discuss what happened to you right now, ok?"

Vaughn sighed a sigh of relief, "Yeah, that's more than ok…"

"Good. Now, do you feel comfortable with Sydney staying in the room, or would you prefer that we be alone while we discuss some things?"

Sydney smiled at that; Tom must have alerted her to Vaughn's unease about Sydney leaving the room. She had to hand it to Barnett; this was going far better than she thought.

"Actually, Dr. Barnett, I'd rather have Sydney stay if that's ok…it won't be anything she hasn't heard already."

"Alright, that's fine with me. Why don't we start with a really easy one – how do you feel? And while I mean physically, I also mean, what evidence can you give me so I know that you're ready to make the transition? And I want to add, although I don't think I really need to tell you this, that I would really like your honesty. Don't worry about my seal of approval on this matter; just try to tell me the truth, ok? Let's not worry about going home for the moment, let's look at this conversation as having no bearing whatsoever on my decision…"

Damn, Sydney thought, that was good!

Vaughn thought a moment, "Physically, I pretty much feel like crap. I can't move, and if I do, it hurts. I also have the added benefit of knowing that I get to be in pain for the next three months. So, I'm good if I don't move. However, I can not move just as easily at Sydney's than I can not here, so…"

"And what about emotionally?"

Vaughn was silent again before saying quietly, "I don't know how to answer that…I think about what happened a lot, but I try not to. Sydney really helps a lot…she has a way of keeping my mind off of that…but she's also there anytime I need to talk about it…she's great…she doesn't push me to talk, but she's right there when she knows I need to. I've had some nightmares, but again, Sydney's helped with that…she's kind of my life preserver here…"

Sydney was smiling with tears in her eyes after that.

Dr. Barnett smiled too, "Ok…what about other people? How do you think you'll react to others if you're going home?"

"Well…I'm not particularly fond of strangers at the moment, you could say I have an aversion to people that I find threatening…if they're people I'm familiar with and comfortable with it's ok…it wasn't really in the beginning though. Sydney was pretty much the only person that didn't scare me to death. I'm not fond of being touched right now either, unless it's Sydney. My friend came the day I woke up and he hasn't been back since, so I'm pretty sure I scared him off," Vaughn was smiling slightly, but it wasn't a smile of happiness, it was a smile of angst. "I feel bad because I didn't want him to approach me really, but since then I think I've been better with people I know…I haven't sent anyone running since Eric…"

Dr. Barnett smiled, "Why do you think that Sydney's is a better place for you than the hospital?"

Vaughn smiled, "Well, I don't think anyone at Sydney's house is going to terrorize me…" he chuckled, "that's like asking anyone why they want to be home instead of somewhere else. Would you want to stay in a hospital with stuff that wasn't yours, a bed that wasn't yours and strange people coming in to poke you for the next three months? I guess I have a general aversion to hospitals at the moment too…while this one is much better than the last one, I'm more comfortable here than I was there – I know people here…but it's still a hospital…"

Dr. Barnett laughed softly, "No, I wouldn't want to stay either."

"Exactly. I feel safe with Sydney; she'll take good care of me at her place. I don't have any doubts that my medical care will decline because I'm not in a hospital bed. I think I'd be more comfortable there, with people that I know and trust already…oh, and the food sucks here…"

Sydney snorted with laughter, and Barnett took a minute to think before she said, "This is what I think Agent Vaughn. I think that before this whole ordeal, you were a well-rounded, healthy individual. You were quite healthy psychologically. I think you're still all those things, but you've just had a setback. That may sound like a trivial way of saying you were tortured, but I don't think this is going to affect you for the rest of your life. Like most things, like most wounds, it will heal with time. You've dealt with loss and hardship before, and I think you'll get through this just fine as well. I sympathize with your aversion to hospitals, I really don't think there are many people that like them, and I understand your desire for comfort at home. You seem to have a handle on what's going on with you…you know what weaknesses this ordeal has brought on for you, but I think you're well on your way already to strengthening them. I'm not going to lie and say that you'll be 100 in a few months; in fact, you'll probably have nightmares for far longer, that's pretty standard. I have no fear that Sydney won't take care of you physically, and in my honest opinion, I think she's terrific for your emotional well being as well. It's not hard to see that emotional bond that you two share; it was evident even when I first entered the room. I also have the benefit of knowing some of both of your past histories as well as past sessions, and I think it's natural that Sydney would be the one you'd open up too. Proper therapy does not force the patient to reveal things they don't want to…that doesn't mean that therapy doesn't compel a person to delve into unpleasant subjects, but it all has to happen in time. For now, I'm satisfied that Sydney is capable of helping you to delve as far as you need to function properly. My only concern is that at some point, it may get to be too much for Sydney to handle on her own, and then someone else would need to step in to help you. When you come back to work of course, you'll have be subjected to a psychological evaluation and I'd be happy to assist you during the time you're recuperating and I could also perform the evaluation…This is all about comfort, Agent Vaughn. We want you to be as comfortable as possible, now and when you come back. However, you need to work through these issues before you'll be considered healthy and fit for field agent status and you need to be healthy to be active. Not everything has to be done at once, and it doesn't all have to be completed, in fact it probably won't be, by the time of your return to the CIA. We just need progress, and I'm confident that you're already making some. You have all the time you need…ok?"

Vaughn was slightly taken aback, "Uh, yeah…ok."

Sydney was smiling at Dr. Barnett and her assessment.

Dr. Barnett got up to leave, "You give me a call anytime if you want to talk…that goes for either or you," she added looking poignantly at Sydney, "I should be available whenever you'd need my services, and in this case, I could make a house call…"

Sydney said, "Thank you, Dr. Barnett."

"It was my pleasure, you take care of him now…"

"I will." She said as she looked at Vaughn.

Vaughn looked at Sydney and then back at Dr. Barnett who was at the door, "Dr. Barnett?"

"Yes?"

"Does this mean I can go home?"

"I would say so, Agent Vaughn. I would say so."

"Thank you…"

"You're welcome, Agent Vaughn." With that, she walked out the door and shut it quietly behind her.

Vaughn let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. Sydney looked down at him. "We're going home Vaughn…" she said in an almost astonished voice.

"Yeah…home…" Vaughn smiled a wistful smile and looked up at Sydney. "Thanks again Syd."

"You're welcome, Agent Vaughn."

"Get down here," he replied.

She complied at leaned down to kiss him. After, she hugged him as well, and settled in the chair to wait for their departure. Vaughn looked over at her, "Wanna watch TV?" he asked like a little boy.

"Sure, Vaughn, turn it on…"

He turned on the TV again, and ESPN was still the current channel.

"So, what'd I miss while I was gone playing telephone?"

"Uh, well…let's see, in the time I was gone, I missed a whole helluva lot of hockey…the Kings lost one game, but they won two others…oh, and you missed the scene where the Zamboni zoomed across the ice and hit a referee…"

"The Zamboni did what!"

Vaughn chuckled, "Yeah, some idiot thought he'd have his 15 minutes of fame, but didn't really know how to work it, and totally creamed a ref with his out of control driving during intermission…"

"You're not serious…"

"I'm totally serious…it was hilarious, for a minute, I thought I broke another rib cause I laughed so hard…"

"And I missed it…" Sydney pouted.

"Well…maybe they'll show it again…" he smiled at her with that little boy gleam in his eye.

She smiled back and kissed him. She decided that she would never tire of kissing him, and that she had him back after so much waiting and fear, and that she was getting to take him home, she was going to take advantage of every single spare second she had, and kiss him.

They chatted and laughed as they waited for word of when Vaughn would be released. There was no apprehension this time; Vaughn was going to be home…where he belonged


	27. Homecoming

P/N: tikagem- I'll be sure to ask the author where the quotes for you. Thanks for the review.

* * *

**Chapter 27: Homecoming**

_"Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to this day." – Sanskrit Proverb _

"Your house shall be not an anchor but a mast." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

"The house of every one is to him his castle and fortress, as well for his defense against injury and violence, as for his repose." – Sir Edward Coke

* * *

Dr. Tom came in shortly after with literally a cart full of supplies. There were an assortment of gauzes and bandages and creams, and also a variety of wraps for Vaughn's ribs. There was also pain medication, portable oxygen tanks and equipment, syringes, and lots of instruction papers. Tom reviewed the medication chart with Sydney, so she'd have a reference guide for when to administer regular pain medication. There was also an emergency supply of on-hand direct pain medicine (administered directly in the blood stream by syringes) with enough morphine to put down a small pack of elephants. Tom had also prepared a chart for Sydney so she'd know the times to change Vaughn's bandages and detailed descriptions on what warning signs to look for in case of infection. There were picture guides for Sydney to follow to help with Vaughn's comfort – including propping pillows under his head and practicing deep breathing exercises, and Vaughn watched the two in amusement as they poured over all the supplies.

"Jesus Tom, why don't you just bring the hospital to Sydney's house," Vaughn finally offered.

"Hey, don't tempt me, ok? You know I could do it…Anyway, I was going to say, that since Mike is a friend and all, and I kinda like him anyway, I'm going to stop by once in a while, if that's alright with you Sydney. I'll check up on him and you, and make sure you have enough supplies and stuff. And you've got my number, so call anytime you have a question or you're concerned about something. I want this to go smoothly for you…"

"Thanks Tom," Vaughn said sincerely.

"The only other thing I want to say is for both of you – especially you Michael…"

"Ok," they both said.

"I'm being totally serious here when I say this. I want this to work…but I need you to cooperate with me…no going against my doctors' orders, or I'll have you back here before you can say Dr. Tom. I want you to have at least one more week of FULL bed rest before you start to move around. Then, after that, I want limited movement for at least another two weeks. I'll stop by sometime around that mark and examine you to determine whether or not I think you're ready to really get on your feet. The other thing is that you're going to be really tired Mike. Don't think that there's something wrong if you sleep a lot. When you first start moving around, something as simple as sitting up might make you just dog tired. So, don't get discouraged and please, please be patient. Ok Mike?"

"Yeah, I got it Tom."

"Ok, let's see, what else…oh, the last thing, I have a sheet in there about exercise. He's on complete bed rest, but you can get up to use the facilities or baths, you know stuff like that, but since he's on bed rest, he's still going to need muscle manipulation, so you'll have to help him keep his muscles in use. We don't want any weight loss or atrophying going on…ok?"

"I think we've got it, Tom." Vaughn said.

"Ok, if you don't have any other questions, then we're about done here…"

Sydney thought a moment, "Nope, I don't think so."

"Ok, I'll get the papers ready for you guys to sign and I'll get the ambulance to stand by." He left the room for a few minutes. Sydney took full advantage of the opportunity of them being alone and stole a kiss from Vaughn. Then she settled into the chair to read over some of Tom's notes. Vaughn noticed her concentration.

"You ok, Syd?"

"Yeah, honey, I'm fine…why?"

"Just double checking one more time, you know…to make sure…"

"Stop, I want to…ok?"

"Yeah…"

They sat in comfortable silence for the remainder of the time Tom was gone and then when he came back he had Sydney sign the releases since Vaughn couldn't sign anything with his arm in a sling and three broken fingers.

Shortly after, the EMTs came in to move Vaughn and in no time they were on their way…on their way home.

Sydney and Vaughn couldn't seem to stop smiling through the whole ambulance ride. When they pulled up Sydney's driveway, Sydney took inventory of those she thought would be in the house. She could see both of Will and Francie's cars and also one that looked like her father's.

The EMTs wheeled Vaughn down the sidewalk and to the door. When they got to the door, he insisted that he could walk the rest of they way, but the EMTs said that Tom had already thought of that and they were given explicit orders to deliver him to the bedroom and nowhere else. He conceded while they maneuvered down Sydney's hall. Will and Francie and surprisingly Jack all welcomed him when he and Sydney entered. The EMTs carefully transferred Vaughn from the gurney to Sydney's bed and helped her hook up the portable oxygen before they left. After they had left, Sydney asked everyone to give them a few minutes, and she helped Vaughn get out of the gown and into some boxers and a soft, cotton tee shirt. He seemed more relaxed than he had ever been and settled into Sydney's bed cozily. She propped him up with the few extra pillows that Francie had asked Will to get out of the linen closet and covered him with the blankets, tucking him in the bed in a motherly way.

"Comfy?" she asked sweetly.

"Yeah, I'm good. Your bed is very comfy…but you know what makes if even more comfy?"

"Hmm, what's that?"

"If you're in it with me…"

"Soon, baby, soon…but we have to be nice to the people that showed up to welcome you home…especially since 66.6 of them either live here or practically live here."

He smiled, "Well, the sooner we get the welcomes over, the sooner you can get in here with me, right?"

"That's right…" she said as she leaned down to kiss him. She went out of the bedroom and came back with the other occupants of the house.

Francie, Will and Jack spent several minutes talking to Sydney and Vaughn. Francie and Will made sure that both of them knew that if they needed anything, they should just ask for help, and Jack offered to help out as needed as well. All in all, Sydney was very pleased with the way the whole transition had been made. Vaughn was home, in her bed, in their bed, he was safe, and he was comfortable. The welcoming party was small enough that it didn't make him uncomfortable yet large enough that he could actually feel welcome. She snuck off for a moment with the excuse that she needed to get Vaughn's pain pills and made her call to Eric while she was out in the kitchen. She came back with a glass of water and his pills, and helped him get them down. Everyone then left the room, save for Sydney and Jack left the house after saying his goodbyes. Francie and Will retreated to the living room. Sydney smiled as she looked over at her dresser, there was a TV on it, which wasn't normally there, and realized that her extremely considerate friends had brought it in so Vaughn wouldn't have to move to the living room to watch anything. It would make the time he needed to spend in bed, when she wasn't "assisting" him go by much quicker. He looked sleepy, but she wanted to be sure he stayed awake for Eric and Donovan's arrival. She busied herself putting away supplies and setting up regiments for the medications so she could get a schedule down. He watched her with interest and smiled whenever she glanced over at him. She was just starting to worry that he would be asleep long before Eric got there, but just when she thought he couldn't hang on any longer, the doorbell rang.

"Doing ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, sleepy," he said as he yawned. "Who is that?" he asked.

His question was answered by a steady clopping on the kitchen floor that sounded an awful lot like little feet scurrying.

Sydney went over the bedroom door and opened it…and Donovan bounded in.

"Donovan!" Vaughn shouted happily.

The dog instantly jumped up on the bed and began to lick Vaughn's face. Sydney smiled at the interplay between the dog and his master and the way that Vaughn's spirits seemed to lift even further now that the dog was here. It was good to be home.


	28. Eric, the heroEric, the dog watcher – P

**Chapter 28: Eric, the hero/Eric, the dog watcher – Part 2**

_"The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day, runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measure." – Rabindranath Tagore _

"For mercy has a human heart, Pity a human face, And Love, the human form divine, And Peace, the human dress." – William Blake

* * *

"Hey Donovan, did you miss me?" Vaughn asked the dog and the dog gave a resounding "woof" in response.

Eric poked his head in the room, "Yeah, you could say that he missed you, he'd sit by the front door of my apartment just about all day. But, then I just gave him some beer and pretzels and we got along fine."

Vaughn smiled up at Eric, "Thanks for watching him for me Eric."

"You bet. We had a great time…how are you feeling?"

"Ah, I'm tired right now, but Syd takes good care of me…"

"Yeah, I'm sure she does," Eric smiled as he looked over at Sydney.

"Hey, what's that look for?" Sydney asked as Eric looked at her.

"I know exactly what kind of 'taking care' of you're doing…" he smiled devilishly at her.

"Now, now, Eric. Any more of that talk and I'll have to kick your ass right out of here!"

"Please do," Eric answered.

Vaughn laughed quietly at their interplay. "Don't make me pull the car over kids…"

Eric smiled at Vaughn.

Vaughn got serious, "Eric, I wanted to apologize…"

"What for?" he asked seemingly oblivious.

"I think you know what for. I'm sorry I acted the way I did when you came to the hospital…I…well…I wasn't myself…I wasn't used to people, even ones that I know really well and consider my best friend."

"Hey, really Mike, there's no need to apologize. If anyone should, it should be me. I was a total ass…I shouldn't have come in there like I did…I didn't realize…really, it was my fault...And I should have come back again to see you…I just didn't know if you…you know…"

Vaughn stuck out his hand and Eric took it gripping it in a friendly way.

"Eric, really, thanks again…for everything…"

"It was my pleasure, what are friends for?"

They spent a moment just looking at each other. Eric added, "I brought your hockey shirt…I'm sure Syd can help get you in that after she's done getting you out of this…" he pointed to Vaughn's tee shirt and turned and gave Sydney the devilish smile again.

"I'm telling you Eric, you are this close," Sydney made the gesture with her hand.

He smiled and said, "Well…listen, I should let you rest. I just wanted to stop by with the clothes and Donovan. I'll come back soon though and bring some of the hockey games I taped for you and we can sit back and watch the games with a few beers, talk about women, and the-"

Sydney cleared her throat loudly. "Excuse me? I'm still in the room you know, and he'll be having NO beers, Eric, no beers – zip, nada, zilch. Not right now…beer and pain medication do NOT mix. Oh, and call before you come over, so I know when I can vacate the premises of my own home…"

Eric smiled, "See Mike, you just gotta know how to play the ladies…you should be taking notes!"

Sydney moved over to the bed and grabbed Weiss' arm. "Out! Now!"

Eric moved to the doorway and Sydney hugged him before he went out. "Thanks Eric."

"You bet, Syd." He waved to Vaughn, "I'll see you later Mike…bye Donovan!"

Sydney walked him out. She came back to a rather shocked looking Vaughn. "Syd?"

"What's up honey? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…why isn't Donovan going home with Eric?"

"Because he's staying here…"

"You're letting me bring my dog?"

"Yeah, I've cleared it with all the other occupants, and they said it was ok, so…now you'll have someone else to keep you company…"

Vaughn smiled at Sydney, "You really know how to take care of a guy, and make him feel right at home."

"Well, this is your home now," she stated factually.

"It is?" he asked in wonderment.

"You bet it is, so I hope you like it."

"I like anywhere you are…except hospitals."

"Well, I got you out of there didn't I? It wasn't as soon as I would have liked, but I got you out…"

"Yes you did, come here."

She moved over to sit on the bed and kissed him. Donovan had settled next to Vaughn on the bed and his tail was wagging happily as Vaughn scratched his ears. He seemed deliriously happy that he was with his master again.

"You know Vaughn, I'm not sure you loves you more, me or the dog."

Vaughn looked down at Donovan who made eye contact and licked his hand. "Hmm…that's a tough one Syd. Isn't the more appropriate question who I love more?"

"Yes, I suppose it is…" she smiled at him with dimples blazing.

He looked up at her seductively. "Well, maybe you should show me you're side of the love story and then I can decide for myself."

"Well, that means that we're going to have to boot your very happy puppy off of the bed. However," she said as she left the bed for a moment and went out into the hall. "I did have Francie and Will pick this up," she came back in with a doggie bed. "For just such an occasion."

Donovan looked at the bed that Sydney had brought in. She placed it by the door of her bedroom.

"Go ahead boy," Vaughn said to Donovan. He happily bounded over to it and spent several minutes squirming, trying to find the perfect place to settle. Sydney smiled as she watched and Vaughn laughed happily. She turned back to him and took her place on the bed once again.

"Well Syd, if there was any question, I think we just answered it. Donovan was just as happy with his new bed as he was to see me…so…I guess we know which one of you loves me more…should we sort out who I love more?"

"Absolutely Mr. Vaughn…in just one second." She bounded out the door quickly and Vaughn heard her yell goodnight to Francie and Will in the living room. Then in a flash, she was back in the room and she locked the door hurriedly. She bounded over to the bed, shedding articles of clothing along the way. Once she was over to the bed, she uncovered Vaughn and carefully took off the tee shirt and boxers she had just helped him into a short time ago. She turned off the lights, save one soft light in the corner and sauntered sexily back over to the bed. This time, she did not sit on the edge next to Vaughn, but crawled under the covers…


	29. The First Night

**Chapter 29: The First Night**

_"The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the accomplishments and victories of tomorrow." – William J. H. Boetcker _

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through the experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved." – Helen Keller

* * *

Sydney had deliberately left that one light one for a number of reasons. First, for practical reasons, she wanted a light on so she could maneuver around his bandages and injuries so she didn't cause him more pain. Secondly, she thought that he might be more comfortable if the were not in complete darkness, after all, she couldn't remember there ever not being at least a small light on in his hospital rooms and even though he was home, he still needed to readjust to another environment. Plus, she couldn't imagine that complete darkness would really bring him any comfort for a while. Lastly, she wanted to see Vaughn the first time they made love at home again. She wanted to see the expressions cross his face, the love, the hunger, the ecstasy, the comfort. She needed to be able to see him in every way this first time, all times.

He looked at her quizzically for a moment, but then seemed to understand. It wasn't like he would complain if he got to see her in all her glory, in soft light, illuminating all her curves, all her beauty. He relished in seeing her every part, every perfection.

She moved over under the covers until she was straddling him. His cock was fully erect after having watched her prance all over the room doing various things stark naked. If that was the affect she had been looking for, it worked perfectly. She wordlessly mounted him, sitting upright while she swallowed his hardness inside of her. Once he was fully sheathed inside her she began to ride him gently. He watched in a haze as her breasts bounced lightly up and down. While he thoroughly enjoyed these riding sessions of hers, he cursed that he couldn't sit up and thrust and all the other things that were floating in and out of his mind. He silently promised himself that the first chance he got, when he was in better health, he would literally fuck her brains out. His thoughts were interrupted when she changed her angle. He moaned instantly as she squeezed him while she worked her new angle. She was enjoying this new angle as well; every time she came back down on him, the base of his cock would rub against her clit and it was driving her wild. Her mouth formed in an "O" as she rode him faster. She allowed him to thrust gently and he thrusted deeply into her warm channel, thirsting for more of what she was offering him. She changed angles again and now she was closer to his body. She leaned forward and grabbed onto the headboard of the bed, offering her breasts to him. He eagerly obliged the offering and began to kiss and suck all around her nipples. The pebble nipples became even harder with his mouth working on them. She was moaning as she continued to ride him. He reached his good hand down to her clit to worry it for her as she rode. She leaned down to give him a long, deep kiss as she felt the stirrings of her orgasm. He sped up his movement on her clit as she started to shake. Her secretions began to leak from her pussy as she moved on him through her orgasm. "Oh, God Vaughn! That feels so good…don't stop…" He continued his ministrations while she came down, but she didn't stop riding him. She sped up again so she could make him come with her. She was just at the peak of her second orgasm when it triggered his own. "Come Vaughn…come in me." He let go at her statement, emptying his balls deep into her waiting tunnel. Her walls milked him, and the amount of liquid surprised her as she felt the force of it hit her walls. She felt instant warmth course through not only her pussy, but a heat also coursed through her entire body. As she gently eased herself off of him, she could feel some of his juice that had mixed with her own spilling out onto her thighs. She reveled in the feeling of his hot seed that was still deep inside her. The warmth continued long after they were finished, and she could still feel the after effects as she lay on him. He was still propped up with the pillows, so she moved him down so they could rest more comfortably. His breathing was beginning to return to normal and he smiled as she looked at him, making sure that he was ok. She kissed him and settled against his chest.

"Vaughn?"

"Yeah?"

She noted that he sounded rather winded and his voice was tired.

"You'd tell me if I was being too rough with you, wouldn't you?"

She waited for an answer that didn't arrive. She moved to look up at him. "Vaughn?"

He looked down at her smiling, "Sydney, I'm ok…"

She looked at him worriedly, "Vaughn! What do you mean you're ok? Did I hurt you?"

"No, Syd…really I'm fine."

"I was too rough wasn't I?"

"No, it was…intense…I liked it Syd. I just get frustrated. I can't do anything…you know…I'd really like to participate at some point. I just can't imagine the next few months going by and not making love to you."

"What do you mean? What do you think we did right now?"

"No, that's not what I mean…ok…how can I say this without totally sounding like an ass…"

"Just spit it out Vaughn."

"Ok, look, I'm a guy ok? I'm a sensitive guy, but I'm still a guy. You know, sometime guys would like to be able to be all macho and…you know…on top…"

She smiled. "Vaughn, you can be a guy while on the bottom…"

"I know, and it's great. I love what you do to me when you're on top. But I can't thrust, I can't sit up, I can't really do anything unless you do something to accommodate. It's just going to get really frustrating. It's not like I can't imagine the next few months with you doing this stuff to me, one would imagine that would be like a total fantasy, but sometimes I'd really like to be the guy in the drivers' seat, you know? Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, sweetie, it does." She sat up and looked at him.

"Does that make me like the biggest asshole in the world?"

"No Vaughn, it doesn't make you an asshole." She thought a moment and then continued, "Look, I know that's what you want, and I do understand, but it's not like you won't ever be able to do that stuff. Really, I mean I don't think it's going to be like months until you're back in the drivers' seat. Listen, we'll go slow, we can try other stuff. We can try you on top, just not right away, ok? Give it some time. Give yourself some time – really Vaughn, you gotta give yourself a break here. So you'll just have to suffer through a few more weeks of Sydney intensity. Ok?"

He smiled at her and pulled her down to him, kissing her deeply. "Yeah, Syd. I can put up with that…"

She kissed him again, moved some of the pillows under his head so he could lay down more, and then lay back down on his chest. She listened to the steady beat of his heart and savored the sound of his breath coming out evenly. She swore to herself that she could cherish that sound for the rest of her life. She looked up again at him and noticed that he was already asleep. It had been a very busy day, and her last thought as she drifted off as well was how nice it was to have Vaughn back in her bed.


	30. Adjusting

**Chapter 30: Adjusting**

_"My soul is a dark ploughed field / In the cold rain; My soul is a broken field / Ploughed by pain." – Sara Teasdale _

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not the absence of fear." – Mark Twain

"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts; And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips; and sound is a diversion and a pastime." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

* * *

Vaughn felt cold and alone. It was dark where he was. He opened his eyes to try to deduce his location, but he found that only one of his eyes would open. It took awhile before his eye adjusted to the darkness and he could see anything. The room was small, cement floor and walls. From what he could tell, it seemed the whole room was cement gray in color. He was lying on the floor – that would be why I'm cold, he thought. He attempted to sit, but the pain that surged through him when he tried forced him back hard on the floor. The air left his lungs and he gasped, like a fish out of water, trying to force air back down. He tried lying perfectly still, and that seemed to work. He moved his head from side to side, trying to remember what had happened. It took him a minute, but then it all came back: Sloane, Sark, other men he couldn't place. He remembered laughing and fists connecting with his body. He remembered kicks to the ribs, and pain…lots of pain. Flashes of objects, red hot to the touch, coming nearer towards him. He tried to move away, but there was no escape. Why was this happening? Where was he? Where was Sydney? Sydney! Oh God, he hoped they hadn't hurt her. Sloane had threatened him while they were beating him; horrid things that he didn't even want to think about, he didn't want to remember. He was so cold. He had no idea how long he stayed on the floor, the simple act of breathing taxing his strength. A somber and ominous feeling began to take over him. Something was going happen, someone was coming. But who? The door to the room, metal and from what he could tell, thick, slowly began to creak open with a terrible screeching. His ears recoiled at the noise as his eyes flew to the door. A large figure was standing in it, blocking almost all the light that flooded into the room. The figure approached, pain, more pain…and Vaughn screamed.

Sydney bolted up in the bed when she heard someone yell. Her foggy brain took a minute to sort out that the sound had emanated from the man lying next to her. Instantly she moved over to him. He was writhing on the bed, seemingly fighting a phantom assailant.

"Vaughn, Vaughn!" she said in an attempt to wake him. She tried shaking him gently, but it only served to make him move away from her.

"Hey, easy…it's me…Vaughn, it's Sydney…I'm right here…" She gently took his head in her arms and rocked him. He was shaking uncontrollably and whimpering softly. She stroked his hair and spoke in gentle tones, trying to lull him out of the nightmare he had just obviously been immersed in.

Will picked that moment to burst into Sydney's bedroom with a baseball bat, fighting stance blazing, bat high in the air, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers with little rubber duckies on them. Francie followed close behind with her own choice of weapon – a frying pan, clad in what looked like Will's shirt. Had Sydney not been concerned with Vaughn, she totally would have made fun of the two, they looked absolutely ridiculous, but she'd save that for later.

Will lowered the bat, "Oh…everything ok in here?" he asked quietly.

Sydney looked over at the pair, "Yeah, we're ok…just…well…we're fine." Vaughn was clinging desperately to Sydney and she could sense that right at the moment, he was not very comfortable with these two in the room. "Look, I hate to say this, and I mean it in the best possible way, but would you mind getting out of here?" She smiled apologetically.

Will looked embarrassed, "Uh…no…sorry, our mistake…we'll…just…yeah, leave you alone." He closed the door quietly and Sydney could hear them returning to Francie bedroom.

Once she was alone again with Vaughn, he seemed to relax, but he was still shaking.

"Vaughn, what happened?" She waited for an answer, but one didn't arrive. She just held him for a while, while his breathing returned to normal and his body stopped trembling.

He loosened the grip he had on Sydney's arm and wiped the sweat that had gathered on his forehead.

"Yeah, that was a good one…"

"Are you ok?"

"I think so."

"Did you hurt yourself?"

"Uh, no, I don't think so…" his voice was raspy and he still seemed shaky.

"Why don't I get you some water…is the pain ok? Or should I get a pill too?"

"Yeah, pill'd be good too…" he said.

She extricated herself from his grip and moved quickly to the bathroom. She retrieved the pills, a glass of water and a wet washcloth. She sat down next to him and helped him get the pill down. Then she gently wiped his face, attempting to wash the strain and fear off. He looked up at her as she tenderly caressed him.

"You wanna talk?" she asked quietly.

He looked at her for a minute, and she could see that her attempt to wash it all away hadn't really done the trick.

"Yeah…ok…"

"What happened in your dream?" she prodded.

"It was dark…I…I was back in the room that you found me in…I was in pain…I couldn't move…" he stopped for short and tried to take a deep breath to calm himself. "I was just waiting there, I knew something was coming, but I couldn't move, no one would have cared anyway…I was just there…then the door opened…a man came in…he blocked most of the light from the doorway…he came at me…" he shuddered, "he…well, let's just say it wasn't fun…" he tried a weak smile.

Sydney didn't smile back, "What did he do to you?"

"I couldn't see his face…he…you know…I'm not sure what's worse, seeing your attacker coming at you and being powerless to do anything or not see your attacker and not see it coming…I just…I…"

Sydney wanted to reach out to him, to tell him to stop, that he was safe and no one would hurt him, but she waited, she sensed there was something else he needed to get out.

"It was like I was right back there, Syd. There was nothing I could do…there's nothing worse than that…all I could think about, even in the dream, was you…and it terrified me. All the while I was there, the only thing that kept me going was knowing you were looking for me…but there's always this doubt, you know…what if Sloane got to you too…he'd taunt me with that, saying how easy it would be to get you too…that you could join me…I begged, I begged him not to hurt you, to just keep me, to kill me…anything…I just…I wanted you to be safe, that's all I wanted…" the stream of consciousness that poured out of him abruptly stopped when he looked up at Sydney and saw tears running down her cheeks. His face changed to remorse. "I'm sorry Syd…I didn't want to make you cry."

"No, Vaughn, I hate what they did to you, it makes me so angry…how he could use us against each other, make us terrified for the other…you want to know the really funny thing?"

"What?" he asked.

"I said the same thing to Sloane…I begged him to take me instead, not to hurt you…to just come after me…"

Vaughn smiled, "I wouldn't want that, ever…I'd rather have this happen to me than you, Syd."

"I wouldn't Vaughn…" she said quietly. "If I could take it back, if I could trade places with you…I would."

"I already told you," he forced her to look at him, "I wouldn't want that." He waited a minute, and then smiled again, "Besides, it's too late anyway, I beat you to this one, no pun intended...so discussion over…"

She smirked, "You're insane and impossible. And I love you."

"I love you too."

She kissed him and then returned the pills and the washcloth to the bathroom. She came back and settled on him so her body was covering his.

"You wanna try to get some more sleep?" she asked form her vantage point on his chest.

"Hmm…I think I'll just wait a while…"

"Ok…I'll wait with you…what should we do while we wait?" she smiled giddily.

"Why don't you tell me a story," he yawned. "Maybe if you talk to me while I try to sleep, I won't have any more nightmares tonight."

"Hmm…what kind of story?"

"Something funny…how about…most embarrassing moment?"

"Uh un…no way…"

"Aw, come on, you're not going to refuse an injured man are you?" he looked at her with his little boy face.

"Fine…but I swear, if this ever leaves this room, I'm going to personally kick your ass."

"Deal…"

She began to tell him, and watched with amusement; about two minutes into the story, he was fast asleep again. Exhaustion has a funny way of catching up to you, she thought as she drifted off with him.


	31. The Oral Episode

**Chapter 31: The Oral Episode**

_"May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty." – An Old Irish Toast _

"Love wins when everything else fails." – Fanny Jackson Coppin

* * *

Morning came far too quickly for Sydney's taste. With the interruption of Vaughn's nightmare and the stress of all that had occurred in the past weeks, she woke up more exhausted than she was when she went to bed. Vaughn was still sleeping, and that made her happy. He needed the sleep more than she did and she tried very hard not to wake him as she moved off of him. Thankfully, he only grunted when she moved, but seemed to still be in a peaceful slumber. She tiptoed out of the room and went out into the kitchen yawning.

Will and Francie were in the kitchen when Sydney came out of her bedroom. She took one look at the pair and burst out laughing.

"What?" they both asked.

"You're much better dressed this morning!" She could barely get the words out, "You two……when you came in…the ducky shorts would have totally made an intruder run for the hills Will……and Francie, the no underwear-Will-shirt look was priceless, but the frying pan really added to the picture…" she trailed off into hearty laughter.

Both Will and Francie were laughing as well. Will said, "Well, I'm glad to see that we were so threatening…"

"Oh, yeah, totally could have taken town a couple of armed burglars…really," Sydney attempted through giggles. "So terrifying…"

They all spent a few more minutes laughing before Will said seriously, "Is he ok? He looked pretty bad last night…"

"Yeah, he's ok…just a nightmare…but to warn you guys, that's not the first one and I'm sure that won't be the last one either…you should prepare yourselves…"

"Does he get them a lot?" Francie asked.

"Well…no, not really. He only had one that I know of in the hospital, but I think last night's probably had a lot to do with all the transitions he's been making recently. Just know, that if you hear yelling, he's probably just in the throws of another nightmare."

Will shot Sydney a look with a gleam in his eye, "Or, he could be in the throws of–"

Sydney cut him off, "If you finish that sentence Will, I'll kick your little ducky-boxered ass out of this kitchen."

"Ok, ok…" he smiled. "Is there anything we can do?"

"No guys, I'm sorry, it might be kinda rough for awhile. Vaughn and I are probably in for a bunch of sleepless nights. I don't know what to tell you…maybe you want to stay at Will's place a few nights?"

Will looked at Francie and said quickly, "No, Syd…there's no need to apologize. We knew it would be rough for him…we get it…we know what we signed on for…it's ok, really…we just wanted to know if there was something we could do."

"Just give him space when he needs it…that's about all…"

"You got it Syd. You let us know if we can help." Will came over and hugged Sydney and Francie came over to join them. The three friends spent a few minutes in a group hug before setting about their tasks for the day.

Sydney grabbed a cup of coffee and made her way back to her room. She opened and shut the door as quietly as was possible. Vaughn was still sleeping peacefully and she took a few minutes just to watch him. Vaughn slowly opened his eyes and yawned. "Syd?" he asked.

"Right here," she answered moving closer.

"Morning, how long have you been awake?"

"Not long…I was just watching you sleep." she smiled. "Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?"

"Yeah, I could eat," he smiled at her as she sat on the bed.

"What do you want?"

"What do you have?"

"How about eggs? And toast? How does that sound?"

"Mmm…sounds good to me…"

"Alright, I'll be back in a bit…" she propped him up with a few of the pillows that she had thrown to the floor yesterday and kissed him and then handed him the TV remote. "Just relax, ok?"

"Mmm hmm…" he turned on the TV after she left.


	32. The Oral Episode, Part 2

**Chapter 32: The Oral Episode, Part 2**

_"It is a great pleasure entirely to be alone, especially when your sweetheart is with you." – Irish Wisdom _

"The proper function of man is to live – not to exist." – Jack London

* * *

She busied herself making scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. While she made the breakfast she scanned over a few of the sheets that Dr. Tom had given her the previous day. She got out a TV tray and loaded the breakfast on it. She moved back to the bedroom and set it down on his lap and then took a seat next to him.

"Jesus, Syd!"

"What?"

"You didn't have to make me the continental breakfast…"

"I didn't, you just need well balanced meals…so, we have our dairy group, our meat group, our grain group, our fruit group, and…well…some more fruit and grain…" she smiled as she pointed to the various things on the tray.

"Did I suddenly get teleported back to Mrs. Potts' home economics class?"

"No, I'm just reading some of this stuff that Tom gave us…it says here you need to eat nutritious meals – it'll help you stay more comfortable and heal faster…"

Vaughn gave her a quizzical look as she gave him a mouthful of eggs.

"Ok, here…" Sydney scanned over the list as she looked down at Vaughn. She quietly read the list off to him, "Things to help the patient stay comfortable," she began, "Learn to use deep breathing exercises, prop pillows under head and chest, rest, eat nutritious foods," she looked down at him on that one, and gave him a piece of bacon. She took a mouthful of food herself, and then continued, "avoid loud talking and laughing, take cough suppressants to avoid coughing, elevate the head of the patient's bed," she stopped again and he looked at her when silence reigned for a few seconds. She made eye contact and narrowed her eyes, "this one is really important – rest." He smiled and she stopped to help him eat some more and then started again as he took a piece of toast. "Let's see…apply cold packs to areas, avoid twisting, turning and bending and other aggravation including vigorous physical activity – oh, no more sex for you then," she continued without losing a beat, "in general, if it hurts, don't do it…blah, blah, blah, yeah, yeah, call doctor if symptoms of collapsed lung should recur, you have a fever that rises to 101 degrees, your chest pain or shortness of breath increases, or you experience painful coughing…" Sydney was quiet a moment, "Well, there…that sounds like a piece of cake!" she smiled down at him.

"I'm rather concerned Sydney," Vaughn said seriously as he finished off another piece of toast.

She changed her demeanor to reflect concern, "About what baby?"

"Well…it seems you've already cut me off from vigorous sex, what happens when I want to engage in mildly strenuous activity? With you that is…"

"Hmm, well, let me consult the doctor," Sydney picked up the phone and pretended to dial. "Dr. Tom, hi this is Sydney, yes, I'm good, he's good as well…yes, I had a question for you…Vaughn and I have been looking over the instructions and it states that the patient should not participate in vigorous activity. Yes, that's true, but you see, Tom, we've already been participating in hot, steamy sex since Vaughn decided to open those beautiful green eyes of his, and it hasn't seemed to affect his health yet. I guess my question is this: Can Vaughn and I continue to take part in sexual healing as long as it's not causing him any discomfort? Yes, yes…I understand, thank you Tom." She made a production of hanging up the phone and then looked seriously at Vaughn. "Tom said that if he had to pick a way for you to go, he'd want you to go out with a bang…"

Vaughn couldn't contain the laughter that erupted from him as Sydney got done with her phone "conversation."

He almost choked on the bacon he was chewing and coughed. He winced as a result, and Sydney instantly felt bad. Vaughn could sense her remorse, "Hey it's ok…I need to do that sometimes, you know if I just mope around without any fun, I'm going to be one depressing guy to be around. That was great Syd, and I'm glad that Tom approves of our sexual healing. And what's even funnier is that I can totally see him actually saying something like that to you Syd."

She leaned down to kiss him and moved the tray of food off of his lap. Then she gently moved the covers and lay so her body was covering his. "Let's see if I remember any of those instructions…elevate the head and put pressure on the affected areas…" Sydney stopped to carry out the instructions. She placed another pillow under Vaughn's head and moved so she was putting a lot of her weight on his ribs. "Speaking of affected parts," she said seductively as she ground herself into Vaughn's growing erection. "I think I'm having quite an affect on one particular part. What do you think? Can you participate in some mildly strenuous activity with me?"

"Hmm…let me think…uh, hell yeah." He said as he kissed her deeply.

She kissed him languidly and sat up to help him remove his shirt. Reminding herself silently that they'd have to check his shoulder and his bandages later, she tossed the shirt aside. She kissed his neck, sucking on his jugular and moving up to kiss the sensitive spot right behind and below his ear. She made her way down and kissed all over his chest, over the bandages that covered wounds and sprains and other injuries. He moaned as she expertly put the right amount of pressure on his ribs to soothe their ache. Once past his ribs, she moved down further and avoided contact with the tent in his boxers. She kissed down his thighs, making him jump slightly and leisurely kissed down his calves and ankles, paying particular attention to smothering his injured ankle with gently kisses and caresses. Then she eyed him mischievously and moved at an annoyingly turtle pace.

Gradually, she made her way back up his legs until she was face to face with the tent in his boxers. She molded her mouth into an "O" shape and covered the head of his penis through the material of the boxers. Vaughn bucked gently off the bed and groaned, "Oh my God, Sydney."

She smiled making sure that the material was very wet before she backed away. His body strained towards her, but she placed gently hands on his hips to still him. She carefully obliged him, sliding his boxers down his legs antagonizingly slow. She finally pulled them all the way off and took a minute to stare down at the injured man below her. She came back and sat between his legs, eying his twitching erection hungrily. She reached out her hand and gingerly cupped his sac and rolled the balls between her fingers. His head pushed back into the pillow and his eyes closed tightly. His body bucked up slightly again when Sydney's mouth made its first skin-to-skin contact with the head of his cock. She sucked on the tip, running her tongue along the whole mushroom-like structure. She pulled upward taking the head with her, causing Vaughn to moan in bliss. She then moved and licked from the base to the tip, running her tongue on the underside of the whole shaft and then licking the vein that ran on the top. She worked her hands the whole time, gently alternating between pulling on his sac gently and massaging it. She eased her mouth down over the head, and kept going this time, taking all of him in her mouth. He groaned again and thrust upward gently into her mouth. She moaned into him, causing the vibrations in her throat to travel all the way up his shaft and he shivered in response. She moved her mouth off of him and started wringing her hands around the shaft as she paid attention to the head again. She ran her tongue over the slit, tasting the pre-cum that oozed out. She eagerly sucked on the head, pulling on it again, hollowing her cheeks to increase the pressure, taking him to a new level of pleasure. His cock throbbed in her hand and she watched from her perch between his legs as he shuddered with her attentions. His body was moving slightly, rising up to meet her whenever she came in contact with him. His eyes drifted down to lock on hers and she gave him a wicked smile before devouring his cock again. She gulped down on his shaft, taking his whole length in her mouth, until her lips were at the root of his cock. He gasped as he watched his whole length disappear down Sydney's throat. She swallowed and Vaughn let out a very loud moan, which ended in wordless murmurings. She pumped him faster as she redoubled her efforts on the head once again. Her fist moved in hurried strokes, leaving him breathless on the bed. Then, when she knew he just at the precipice of his release, she took two fingers of her right hand and moved them behind his scrotum. She pushed gently on the small indent halfway between his sac and his ass, moving in circles, and then stroking harder, circles and then stroking, circles, stroking. Vaughn lost track of movement and only felt sensations. A slow building pressure not only in his balls but deep inside began to take over. She stopped sucking on the head momentarily and sucked maniacally on his testicles. She licked and then sucked, licked and then sucked, all the while pressing on the indent. She smiled as she looked up at him again, and sucked powerfully on the head. He lost all control then, his eyes shut firmly, hand gripped into a tight fist, head thrashing from side to side on the pillow. She felt his body tense and his balls constrict as his orgasm washed over him. She pumped his balls as his ejaculate came out in long spurts, aggressively coating her mouth. She swallowed all of it, enjoying the feeling of power that washed over her when she realized she had made him do all of this. His chest was heaving, and his eyes were still shut. His cock was still twitching slightly and she moved up his body to lie on top of him. His arm moved to rest on her back.

She looked down at his fatigued form, and felt bad again. "Are you ok?" she asked gently.

"Oh. My. God. Sydney. I can't remember the last time I came so hard," he smiled up at her, but he was still breathing laboriously.

"Seriously, did I go to far? Push you to much?"

"No, Syd. I'd say you pushed me just the right amount," he said with a huge grin on his face.

"Was it really that good?"

"Good doesn't even begin to describe it, Syd. Seriously, what the hell was that at the end? You've never done that before…"

"What when I pressed the spot behind your balls?"

"Uh, yeah!"

"I read about it…I try to keep up with the modern sexual finds, you know."

"Well, they were right, if you're supposed to have like the most intense orgasm of your life, they were right."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it so much."

"Yeah, I did."

"Why don't you take a little nap, then we'll change your bandages, ok?"

"Don't you want me to…"

"No, this was for you…just rest now."

She got up and picked up the breakfast tray. She smiled at him as she walked out, giving him a sexy glance as she went out of the room.

Vaughn fell into a satisfied and fitful sleep.


	33. Trouble

**Chapter 33: Trouble**

_"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone -- but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy." – Walter Anderson _

"The stars / That nature hung in Heav'n, and filled their lamps / With everlasting oil, to give due light / To the misled and lonely traveler." – John Milton

* * *

Sydney took the time while Vaughn was napping to survey the plethora of charts and instructions that she had been given. Since it was technically the first day Vaughn was at home, she figured that she should really make a schedule. The sheets that she had read to Vaughn were just a jumping off point for patient comfort. There were about a million other sheets that detailed medications, bandages, warning signs and the like. She got out a pen and some paper and began making a checklist of things that she had already completed:  
þ Prop pillows/Elevate head  
þ Rest  
þ Nutritious Foods  
þ Avoid loud talking and laughing – she thought they had that covered  
þ Avoid twisting, turning, bending, vigorous activity (well…they tried she thought)

She drew a line and made notes to check on the following topics:  
· Deep breathing – she'd have to read up on that…plus, she wasn't sure he was ready for deep breathing yet  
· Get cough suppressants – just in case he started to cough (which one of the sheets said happened when patients first were taken off of oxygen  
· Get ice packs (for rib pain)  
· Fever over 101 degrees, shortness of breath increases, painful coughing – CALL DR. TOM!  
After looking satisfyingly at her notes, she started on a medication and bandage-changing chart. She figured the sooner she had a system going, the more smoothly things would go.

She got a new piece of paper, got all of the medications out and made a time table, referencing the sheets:  
· Administer pain medication as needed for pain. Pain medication is to be administered at recommended intervals only. Only exception: Ibuprofen, which may be administered every 3 hours if necessary.  
· Take Ibuprofen or Naproxen, for pain, inflammation of ribs or lungs or shoulder, stiffness or fever. (Take 2 pills every four hours or as needed) Take ibuprofen with food, milk, or an antacid to lessen stomach upset.  
· Take prescription Percocet (Oxycodone), or Vicodin (Acetaminophen and hydrocodone) to suppress perception of pain and calm emotional response to pain. For moderate to severe pain. (Take 1-2 pills every 4-6 hours as needed) Take with water.  
· Administer direct morphine injection for severe or emergency pain or severe muscle spasms. (Will directly reduce the number of pain signals sent by the nervous system and the brain's reaction to them). Only to be used in emergency or severely acute pain.

Sydney took stock of all the pill bottles in front of her and the syringes of Morphine that Dr. Tom had given her.  
She sighed and decided that if today was any indication, then Vaughn would normally wake up at around 8:00 AM. She could give him the pain medication that he required with breakfast, around 8:30 or 9:00 and then work from there, giving him more as needed at the four or six hour intervals.

She got yet another piece of paper, took stock of the huge pile of bandage material, and set up another chart.  
First she listed all the injuries that needed bandage changing, then the intervals when they should be changed:  
· Ribs – wrap must be removed at least twice a day to allow for deep breathing  
· Surgical incisions – bandages must be changed every 6-8 hours the first week, and then taper off following  
· Burns and lacerations – bandages must be changed daily the first week, tapered following  
· Ankle – wrap should be removed daily to allow skin to breathe – remove at discretion  
· Fingers – splints should be monitored, allow 4-6 to heal, must be removed by doctor – do not disturb splints  
· Shoulder – shoulder should remain immobilized in sling for 2-3 weeks, avoid strenuous use for 4-6 weeks  
Sydney then narrowed that down further:  
· Surgical – every 6-8 hours, first week  
· Ribs – wrap removed 2x/day  
· Burns/lacerations/ankle – daily

Looking over all her notes, Sydney was pleased that she had managed to get all that information down to three pages. She gave herself an approving nod and then went back to the bedroom to check on Vaughn. He was still napping, so she busied herself making a few more notes about daily things they needed to do: baths, shaving, exercise. Once that was completed, she went into the bathroom to try to figure out how they could get Vaughn in the tub comfortably since this wasn't a hospital tub. She was deep in thought when she heard a groan and a curse coming from the bedroom. She raced in to see Vaughn lying rather haphazardly in the middle of the bed.

She raced over to help him back into the elevated position. "What the hell happened?"

Vaughn was gripping his ribs gingerly and said quietly, "I guess I thought since I could weather the oral exam that I could sit…I think I was wrong…" He groaned again in pain and gripped the ribs tighter.

She was about to tell him that she would get the pain medication when he yelped in pain loudly. His body seemed to go stiff and his right hand balled into a tight fist. He looked up at her in confusion and fear, and Sydney was totally unsure of what to do.

"Oh my God! What's happening? Are you ok?" She had moved so she was leaning over him, trying desperately to figure out what was going on.

Vaughn's face dissolved into that of agony and sweat broke out on his forehead.

Sydney was frantic, and it seemed that Vaughn couldn't tell her what was wrong. He finally chocked out, "Chest is tight…hurts…"

Sydney thought a moment in her utter desperation and remembered something from the sheets. She tried to remain calm. "Ok, Vaughn. I think this is a muscle spasm…um…let's see…I should really get the sheet…"

She was about to go, but realized she couldn't leave him here in this state. She was rapidly getting frantic again, since it seemed that the spasm wasn't ending. She grabbed the phone and dialed Tom's number. He answered after two rings, "Dr. Tom here…"

"Tom, it's Sydney…Bristow. Vaughn's having a muscle spasm I think, I don't know what to do, but he's really in a lot of pain…you've gotta help!"

"Ok, Sydney, first you need to calm down. He needs you to be calm right now too…he's probably more than a little scared here, and alarmed cause he doesn't know what's happening…how long has it been going on?"

"I don't know, a couple minutes I guess…" Sydney was trying to calm Vaughn by gently rubbing his ribs, but it wasn't having any effect."

"Ok, do you have those morphine syringes I gave you handy?"

"I can get one…I'll be right back Vaughn…" she dashed out of the room, grabbed one and was back in a flash.

"Ok, got it."

"Give him the shot, arm's probably the best place…"

"Ok…" Sydney cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder and popped the tip off the syringe with her teeth. She bent down and tried to be as gentle as possible as she jabbed the needle into Vaughn's arm.

"Ok, now what?" she asked.

"You wait…"

"That's it?" She went back to rubbing circles on Vaughn's ribs.

"Yeah…"

Slowly Vaughn seemed to come down and the anxiety left his face. His hand flexed and his breathing returned to a fast-paced, but steady rhythm. He looked very tired, however, and he was still sweaty.

"How is he?" Dr. Tom prodded.

"Uh, he seems to be better…his muscles have relaxed, I think…have they?" she asked.

Vaughn took a minute, "Yeah…but it really hurts now…although the morphine is a wonder drug…" he sighed.

"He's still in a lot of pain, he says it hurts more…and he's really sweaty…"

"Congratulations, you've just made it through your first muscle spasm…" Dr. Tom said proudly.

"That's what I thought it was. Is he going to be ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, he'll be fine…he'll have more of those as he starts to use the muscles more…you should be warned…if he's in a lot of pain, give him some of the Percocet or the Vicodin…if he's really, really in a lot of pain, you can give him both now, but don't do that too often…we don't want him to OD or anything. He'll probably be sore for a while too…what was he doing?"

"Uh, he tried to sit up…"

"Yeah, that'd do it…tell him he's still on bed rest or isn't he following my instructions?"

Sydney smiled at Vaughn, "He says you're supposed to be on bed rest, why are you sitting?"

Vaughn smiled, "I can't really tell him why, Syd…I was still in the bed when I did it!"

"He says he was in the bed when he sat up, or attempted to."

"Tricky bastard…"

"He's swearing at you now…" Sydney said to Vaughn.

Vaughn smiled back, "Tell him I'll be good."

"Tom, he promises to be a good boy."

"Good, otherwise I'll have to come and kick his ass…no more sitting this week…not unattended."

"Ok…I'll let him know…"

"Good job Sydney. Call if you need anything else."

"I will Tom, thanks."

She hung up the phone and looked down at Vaughn's tired form.

"Well, that was certainly fun," he said wincing.

"Yeah, let's not try that too often, ok?" she said in reply as she leaned down to kiss him. "I'll get you the pain pills…"

She got up and returned with the pills. She lifted his head so he could swallow them, and grinned down at him.

"What?" he asked.

"You really think all it takes is one blowjob to make you better?"

"Well, not just any blowjob…" he smiled up at her and she kissed him.

"Vaughn…you rest for awhile…and DON'T and I mean DON'T try to sit up again by yourself. If you want to sit up, let me know, and I'll help you…"

"Ok Syd."

"While you rest, I'm going to run you a bath…"

"Ok Syd…"

She went off leaving him in a state of medication-induced bliss.


	34. Discovery

**Chapter 34: Discovery**

_"The best looking-glass is the eyes of a friend" – Irish Proverb _

"'The time has come,' the Walrus said, 'To talk of many things: Of shoes-and ships-and sealing wax-Of cabbages-and kings-And why the sea is boiling hot-And whether pigs have wings.'" – Lewis Carroll

* * *

Sydney busied herself preparing the bathroom for his bath. She got plenty of towels out, soap, shampoo, and also set out his shaving materials, which Weiss had brought along with Vaughn's clothes. She was going to put bubbles in the water, but decided against that when she thought of all the wounds that might not take extra soap and fragrance lightly. She could only imagine how that might sting. She ran the water especially hot, knowing it would probably take awhile to get him in the bathroom. While the tub filled, she also went to the kitchen and grabbed her checklists and retrieved the bandages that she'd need after the bath. Lastly, she grabbed a chair from the dining room and put it as close to the tub as she could get it, so Vaughn could sit while she made sure the bath was ready.

She returned to the bedroom about fifteen minutes later. She opened the door quietly and it looked like Vaughn was sleeping again. She didn't want to wake him if he was; she knew that he was going to be tired a lot. Donovan was resting comfortably at his side and Sydney smiled at the two males on the bed. She watched Vaughn's chest rise and fall for a few minutes, and then went out of the room again, deciding to wait with the bath.

She let the water drain out of the tub and then settled on the couch in the living room and was watching some nature show on the Discovery channel to pass the time when Will walked in the front door.

"Hey Syd!" he said and then added quickly, "Oh God! I'm so sorry, is Vaughn sleeping? I shouldn't have been so loud."

Sydney smiled as she looked at him, "Don't worry, duck man, I think it's fine. He'll be out for a while."

"Please tell me that you're not going to start calling me duck man? And why will he be out for a while?"

"Duck man or Duckie, you know, like Pretty in Pink? You can choose which one you'd prefer. We had a rather nasty muscle spasm after you guys left, I think he's pretty wiped out. The doctor told him he was on strict bed rest or he'd come over and kick his ass. Where's Fran?"

"She's at the restaurant…whatcha watchin'?"

"I really have no idea, I only turned it on a second before you came in."

"How are you doing?" Will asked tentatively.

"I'm fine…how are you?" She asked.

"No, Syd. Really, how are you?"

"I'm fine Will, really…I'm not the one who was tortured…"

"Are you gonna tell me now? I know you couldn't over the phone…what happened exactly."

"It was Sloane." Sydney stated flatly, but Will could tell her whole demeanor had changed.

"He took Vaughn?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yeah, he tortured him the whole time he had him. You should see some of the wounds he has Will…they are so awful…Form what Vaughn's told me, it was hell…"

"I'll bet…is he ok…you know emotionally?"

"I think he's all right. He's better if he's with me, or people he knows. We talk about it when he needs to. I think he's dealing with it ok, he's been in this line of work, he knows what happens…I don't know, I guess we'll have to see…he seems to be handling things quite well all things considered."

"Are you handling things well?" Will asked quietly.

She smiled at him, "Yeah, Will…I'm ok. Really, I just want to be there for him. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it was really easy seeing him like this, but I'm going to help him. I need him to be ok too…I just try not to think about what they did, or I get really angry. Right now, I'm just focused on him getting better. I'll deal with kicking Sloane's ass after he's ok again."

Will seemed happy with that answer. They watched the show for a few minutes in silence.

There was a quiet "Syd?" that could be heard from down the hall. Sydney was up in an instant.

"I'll be back Will." She said as she raced down the hall.

"Ok Syd." Will stayed on the couch watching the show.

Sydney entered the room thinking that something was wrong, but Vaughn was smiling at her when she came in.

"Are you ok? What's wrong?"

"Nothing currently. Mixing pain medications is a wonderful thing."

"I'm glad honey. Do you want to try that bath now or you wanna wait a while?"

"No, we can do it now…are we going to share like last time?"

"Vaughn, you've already had one muscle spasm today, I don't want to give you another one." Sydney said with a sly grin.

"Touché," he replied.

"Plus, I'd probably drown you with all the drugs you're on right now. It's just a good thing you don't have any tox screenings anytime soon." She sat down on the edge of the bed and kissed him.

"Sydney?"

"Yeah."

"It's not that I don't have confidence in your ability, but exactly how are you going to get a guy who can't really walk yet and is hopped up on pain medication to the bathroom?"

"I was thinking about that actually…Will just came home…would you be uncomfortable if he helped us get you to the bathroom?"

"Uh, I guess not…no…"

"Are you sure, cause I can do it by myself."

Vaughn smiled at her tenaciousness, "No, Syd it's ok…I'll let Will help…and I won't get weird if you're worried about that."

"I wasn't, but I know Will would understand anyway…I'll get him."

She left the bedroom and went back to find Will still watching the program she had been watching.

"Will?" she asked.

"Hey Syd. You know, this is actually pretty interesting…it's all about these frogs that live in the Amazon and they–"

"Will."

"Yeah Syd?"

"Can you do me a favor."

He stood up and said, "Sure, whatdya need?"

"I need to get Vaughn to the bathroom, I'm going to give him a bath…and I need help getting him in there, because he's not ready to walk on his own…and I think it might be difficult for me to do it alone. Can you help me out?"

"Sure! He doesn't mind?" he asked.

"No, he said it was ok…Just give me a minute to go get the bath water back in the tub…"

"Ok, let me know Syd."

She went down the hall to the bathroom and ran the tub again until it was full. Then she went back to the living room. Will was sting on the edge of the couch, arms folded across his chest, concentrating on the frogs on the screen.

"Will?"

He jumped, "God! Yeah, you ready?"

She smiled, "Yeah duck man, I'm ready…"

He smiled and let her lead the way back to the bedroom.


	35. The Home Bath

**Chapter 35: The Home Bath**

_"The only prison we need to escape from is the prison of our own minds." – Anon._

* * *

Sydney and Will entered the bedroom and Vaughn smiled at both of them.

"Hey, Will…come to help Syd with the invalid, huh?"

Will looked slightly surprised and looked at Sydney. "Uh, yeah, that's why I'm here…"

Sydney looked at Vaughn and then back to Will. "We've mixed his mediations here and he's had morphine…I think he's a little high…"

"I'm not high," he said poutily. "Can't an injured guy enjoy his lack of pain?"

"Yes, you can…" she said as she kissed him. She looked back to Will, "Just ignore anything he might say…"

"Ok, how are we going to do this?"

"Well, we need to sit him up first…then I guess, kind of, move him without causing him a lot of pain…"

"Ok…"

They moved over to the bed and Sydney gently eased Vaughn into a sitting position. She motioned for Will to get on the other side and they swung his legs over the side of the bed. Sydney watched his face for any sign of discomfort, but there didn't seem to be any.

"Ok, now we have to stand you up…uh…I'll stay in front, Will, why don't you try to ease him up from behind…can you do that?"

"Yeah, sure, Syd." He got behind Vaughn, "Should I lift him under the arms? Is that going to hurt him?"

"Well, I don't really know how else we'd get him to stand…just be careful…" She looked at Vaughn, who still seemed rather happy. "Vaughn, if we hurt you, you let us know, ok?"

He nodded as they both simultaneously lifted him off the bed until he has standing in front of Sydney. She supported his weight until Will got back around the bed. She moved then to the left side, and Will to the right. Sydney tried not to jar his shoulder too much, and she was also worried that they could hurt his ribs while moving him, but it was rather late for that now. The moved unhurriedly down the hall, he helped as much as he could, sort of hopping on his good leg and they slowly but surely moved to the bathroom. They moved through the doorway and deposited Vaughn in chair that Sydney had brought from the kitchen for him to sit on. Will waited unsure of what he was supposed to do next.

"Uh, Syd…do you want me to stay and get him in the tub or should I go?"

Sydney hadn't thought of that. "Oh, yeah, you can go, I should be able to handle it from here…thanks Will," she said as she smiled at him in thanks.

"Yeah, thanks Will," Vaughn said with a smile.

"Sure," Will said as he closed the door with a smile as well.

Sydney moved over to Vaughn and helped him undress. She gently removed the bandages, which surprisingly didn't seem to hurt Vaughn as much either. She'd have to remember that mixing the medications made him extremely relaxed and seemingly pain free. Once he was free of the wraps, bandages and the like, she helped him move over to the tub. She praised herself for bring the chair in, because all she really had to do was swing his legs into the water and then lower him in. She was careful that his hands didn't get in the water, since his splints weren't supposed to get wet.

She brought a washcloth over and wet it and ran and water down his chest. He smiled at her and she could read what he was thinking.

"Ok, Vaughn…it would work better if I was in the tub…but I really think we should wait with the sexual healing today, ok?"

He groaned but consented, "Oh, alright…"

Sydney undressed and moved to sit behind Vaughn. She wet his hair with the washcloth and then grabbed the shampoo and placed a generous amount on his head. She worked in slow circles, gently rubbing and scratching her way over his head. He let out soft moans as she moved along his neckline and the rest of his scalp. She was almost done when he let out a small yelp. "Vaughn? Are you ok?"

"Yeah…"

"What happened?"

He pointed with his good hand to a spot on his head that she had just covered. She examined the spot and found that there was a stitched cut there. "Oh my God Vaughn! I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was there!"

"It's ok, I think the meds muffled the pain level anyway…it wasn't bad."

"I'll be more careful…" she kissed the spot and used the washcloth again to rid his hair of the soap. She leaned him back then for a while, letting him rest. His head was on her left shoulder and she moved to place a kiss on his temple. She could feel him smile and close his eyes as he just rested in her arms. She moved to place her arms around his torso and gently rocked in the water. She realized a few minutes later that he had fallen asleep. She let him sleep for a little while, but knew that they shouldn't stay in too long. She hated to wake him up, but she had to. She placed another gentle kiss on his temple and he moved slightly, responding to the touch. His eyes fluttered open and he looked up at her with love.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey," she replied back. "I hated to wake you, but we really need to finish so we can get you out of here. The longer we wait, the more the pain is going to come back, and it'll be hell to get you out of this tub."

"Ok…" he consented.

She moved slightly so she could reach more of his body. She lathered up his chest and back as well, shaking her head again as she looked at the angry marks that he'd carry for some time. She moved out from behind him. "Do you want a shave again?" she asked.

"Sure…"

She got the shaving kit and approached him. "Do you wanna stay in the tub for this or should we move you out first?"

"Might as well just do it while I'm still in here…"

"Ok." She lathered the shaving cream on his face and started shaving him, careful once again, and once again, left his face stubble-free without cutting him once. She got him to sit up more, and they moved him back to the chair together. Once he was seated, she dried him off and applied the aftershave. Then she set to work on reapplying the bandages. It went much faster however this time, because she knew what to do to and had done it all before. It no time, he was fully bandaged and his ribs were wrapped once again. She moved over to her charts, and made a check next to the things that were now covered for the day. The only things that she had to remember for later were letting his ribs out of the wrap once more that day and changing the surgical bandages every 6-8 hours. She smiled at her work and moved back over to help him dress. Once he was dressed, she went out of the room and got Will and he helped them back to the bedroom. Sydney got Vaughn settled in the bed again, and realized it was just about lunchtime.

"Hey, it's almost noon, you want lunch?"

He looked pensively at her, "Not really, I'm not really hungry right now…"

"Ok…we'll wait a while."

"You can eat if you're hungry Syd."

"No, I'll wait a while too…" She moved to sit on the bed next to him. Want to watch some TV?

"Sure…"

She turned on the television and surfed through the channels. She was just about to ask him if wanted to watch ESPN when she looked over and saw that he was sleeping again. She smiled and gently got off the bed. She went into the kitchen and made two glasses of iced tea and took them into the living room, handing one to Will. "Thanks Syd," he said as he accepted the glass.

"No, thank you…" she replied seriously as she looked over at him.

He turned to look at her, "Really Will…I don't know if I would have gotten him in and out of the bath without your help…thanks…"

"Not a problem, anytime, ok?"

She nodded, "So, what were you telling me about the frogs?"

"Well, ya see, these frogs in the Amazon…"


	36. Fever, Ha! You’re thinking sexual thoug

**P/N:** I am sp sorry that this took so long to update. I was having computer problems then I went to Vegas for a week, and they did'nt have computers at the hotel. Thanks for the wait!

* * *

**Chapter 36: Fever (Ha! You're thinking sexual thoughts I know!)**

_"You and I must make a pact / We must bring salvation back  
Where there is love / I'll be there  
I'll reach out my hand to you / I'll have faith in all you do  
Just call my name / And I'll be there _

I'll be there to comfort you / I'll build my world of dreams around you  
I'm so glad I found you, yeah  
I'll be there with a love so strong / I'll be your strength  
You know I'll keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter  
Togetherness, well it's all I'm after  
Just call my name / And I'll be there  
I'll be there to protect you / With an unselfish love that respects you  
Just call my name / And I'll be there" – Mariah Carey (I'll Be There)

* * *

Sydney finally conceded to eat lunch at about 4:00. She checked on Vaughn periodically and he was still sleeping every time she checked him. Donovan had retaken his place at Vaughn's side and he popped his head up every time she entered as if he were protecting his master. She smiled at him whenever he did this, and he would yawn and return to his napping with Vaughn.

Will had left a few hours before to pick up Francie, and they wouldn't be in until late tonight. She watched some more TV while she ate, and began to read a book she'd been meaning to for some time. She took a short nap herself and woke about 4:45. She padded quietly into Vaughn's room, and he was still asleep. She approached the bed, just to reassure herself and noticed he seemed to be sweating. His hair was matted to his forehead slightly and his cheeks had a slight red flush to them. She reached out her hand and placed it on his cheek and pulled it back alarmingly when she felt how hot it was to the touch. She ran to the bathroom and grabbed the electric thermometer and came back into the bedroom and tried to take Vaughn's temperature without disturbing him. She waited until it beeped softly and the display screen read 102 degrees.

Instantly, she remembered from the sheet that if he got a fever over 101, she was supposed to call the doctor. She ran to the phone and dialed Dr. Tom's number. Donovan leapt up, ready to protect Vaughn.

After more rings than Sydney would have liked, a rushed voice said, "Yeah…yeah…Tom here…"

"Tom, it's Sydney…"

"Hey, Sydney…how's Vaughn, is he follo–"

She interrupted, "He's got a fever of 102! He's been sleeping like all day, so I really didn't think anything was wrong, but now I checked him and it's 102! I don't know what to do!"

"Ok, let's stay calm…he had a muscle spasm this morning, right?"

"Yeah…"

"What did you do after that?"

"I gave him a bath…and he was really out of it for awhile after I gave him all that medication."

"Mixing the meds can make you a little…loopy…actually it can do that even if you don't mix them. It'll happen again, so don't worry about that. Did he seem tired?"

"Well, yeah…I mean he fell asleep in the tub…"

"He's going to sleep A LOT, Sydney. When was the last time he had any medication? Ibuprofen?"

"Oh, man…hours ago…before his bath…"

"Ok, fever's aren't good, but I'm not overly concerned at this point…he had a tough morning, and I bet his muscles are really inflamed at the moment. Since he's been sleeping, he hasn't had any medication; I think that probably why his fever is so high. Wake him up, make him take the medication and eat something…have him drink some water, as much as he can…keep pushing it…and monitor the fever. Keep him warm, even if he says he's hot and if by tomorrow morning, it's not at least down somewhat, call me again, and I'll come over and check him out. Ok?"

"Yeah, ok…I'm sorry I'm calling you all the time…"

"No, I'd rather you call than not…if you have questions, call…k?"

"Yeah, thanks Tom…"

"Keep me posted…and we've got like what six more days, and then I'll come over and check him out anyway. You call me and keep me up to date…don't start any exercises or anything, and skip the bath tomorrow. If he's asleep when it's time for medication, wake him up. You hate to do it, but you have to if he's going to remain comfortable right now. But let him sleep as much as he wants…Alright?"

"Yeah, ok…I got it."

"Alright, I'll wait to hear from you."

"Thanks again Tom, you've been so great!"

"That's my job…but I go out of my way for friends…I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, bye Tom."

Sydney hung up the phone and retrieved Vaughn's pills and a large glass of water. She went back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed. She placed the pills and the water on the nightstand and shooed Donovan off of the bed gently. He complied but looked rather miffed and trotted out of the room. Sydney placed her hand gently on Vaughn's chest; the shirt was wet under her touch.

"Hey, Vaughn, sweetie, you gotta wake up now."

His brow furrowed, but he remained asleep. She tried a few more gentle attempts, but he didn't wake up. She went to the bathroom and got a cold washcloth and returned to her spot, placing the washcloth on his forehead.  
Some of the tension left his face and she prodded a little more forcefully. His eyes finally fluttered and he seemed groggy. His voice was full of sleep and hoarse.

"Syd?" he croaked.

"Yeah, I'm here…you need to wake up and take your medication…I waited way too long to wake you up. You've got a fever, Tom says you're supposed to eat something too."

She didn't want to startle him, but she delicately started to sit him up a little more.

"Mmm…not hungry…"

"You have to eat at least a little something…do you want to pick it out, or should I just bring something?"

She lifted the glass to his lips as he took the pills and helped him drink.

"You have to drink this whole glass of water…"

"Aw, man, Syd…then I'm gonna have to go to the bathroom like every five minutes, how are we gonna do that?"

"We'll figure something out, but you have to have lots of water…sorry, doctor's orders…" Sydney said in a stern voice. "What do you want to eat?"

"Bring whatever…"

"Ok…stay awake…" She moved to the kitchen and came back with several things. She was glad to see that he had managed to stay awake.

"Ok, what do you want, I brought pudding and applesauce…or I could make you something…I think Will got oatmeal the last time he went to the store…"

"What kind of pudding," he replied.

"Swirl kind…"

"Ok."

She opened and kept spoonfuls coming even though she could tell he wasn't really hungry. She smiled; she knew he was humoring her. That was fine with her as long as he ate. She made him drink some more water and his eyelids started to fall again. She was about to move off the bed and discard the remnants of his "dinner," when he opened his eyes again.

"Syd?"

"Yeah?" she said returning her gaze to him.

"Will you lay with me?"

"Sure, let me…" she looked down at him and decided that the remnants could wait. She grabbed another one of his tee shirts and moved to her side of the bed next to him. She eased the other shirt off and put on a fresh one, readjusted his sling and moved his pillow down again so she could lie down next to him. She turned the washcloth over so it would be cool again and covered his body with hers. He was still hot to the touch, but he was shivering slightly.

"Are you cold sweetie?" she asked softly.

"Yeah…a little…"

She pulled the covers up and adjusted his oxygen tube before she settled against him again.

"I'm sorry Vaughn…" Syd said shakily.

"What for?" he asked.

"I should have known to give you your medication. I shouldn't have let you sleep that long without it…this is all my fault." She sounded as though she might start to cry.

Vaughn tightened his grip on her, "Hey…listen, there's no way you could have known that…I would have let you sleep if it was you…it's not your fault Syd. You're taking great care of me…I have no complaints…"

She lifted herself up and looked down into the emerald pools before her. "Vaughn…"

"Yes?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

"I love you…you know that…right? I'd never do anything if I knew it was going to hurt you…"

"Sydney, I love you too, and I'm not even going to answer that question…c'mere." He pulled her gently and she responded, placing a soft kiss on his lips. She lingered there, tracing his jaw line with her fingers.

"You sleep now, ok…I'll do the worrying," she said seriously.

"Ok, Syd…but you sleep too…"

She lay back down and they huddled together. He stopped shivering and drifted off quickly. She watched him sleep for a while; it was rapidly becoming one of her favorite things to do. She reached up and removed the cloth, which wasn't really cold anymore and felt his cheek. It seemed cooler, so she set the cloth on the table and tried to get some sleep. She drifted off quickly, following Vaughn into the land of dreams. She prayed tonight he would sleep soundly, nightmare-free.


	37. Slumber My Darling, oh…that brings back

**Chapter 37: Slumber My Darling (oh…that brings back such memories…sigh!)**

_"Slumber my darling, thy mother is near  
Guarding thy dreams from all terror and fear.  
Sunlight has past and the twilight has gone,  
Slumber my darling, the night's coming on.  
Sweet visions attend they sleep  
Fondest, dearest to me,  
While others their revels keep,  
I will watch over thee.  
Slumber my darling, the birds are at rest,  
Wandering dews by the flowers are caressed,  
Slumber my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,  
And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm. _

Slumber my darling till morn's blushing ray  
Brings to the world the glad tidings of day.  
Fill the dark void with thy dreamy delight –  
Slumber, thy mother will guard thee tonight.  
Thy pillow shall sacred be  
Form all outward alarms;  
Thou, thou art the world to me  
In thine innocent charms.  
Slumber my darling, the birds are at rest,  
Wandering dews by the flowers are caressed,  
Slumber my darling, I'll wrap thee up warm,  
And pray that the angels will shield thee from harm." – Alison Kraus (Slumber My Darling)

* * *

Whether is was sheer exhaustion or something else, Sydney didn't know, but whatever it was that allowed Vaughn to sleep the whole night without a nightmare, she was eternally grateful. She woke before he did, and as was her ritual, she watched him sleep for a while. She was reluctant to move for fear of waking him, so she settled back onto his chest and decided to wait until he woke. It wasn't very long before she felt him stir, slowly coming out of sleep. He opened his eyes and yawned and looked down at the form in his arm. She smiled when their eyes met; they exchanged looks of adoring love before Sydney broke the silence and said, "Good Morning."

"Morning," he replied. "What time it is?"

"Hmm…about 9:00." She smiled at him.

"What?"

"You slept the whole night without a nightmare…I think a celebration is in order…" she smiled devilishly at him.

"Oh…a celebration, huh? Exactly what did you have in mind, Ms. Bristow? Another bath? Cause those are nice…"

"No, Tom said we should skip the bath today…he didn't think that moving you around so much was a great idea when you're supposed to be on bed rest…so we've been banned from that for today, you're just supposed to rest today…maybe tomorrow…why don't we start out with a nice breakfast and then we'll decide from there," Sydney said as she kissed him.

"Ok…but I'm not very hungry…"

"You're going to make me worry more about you if you don't eat."

"Maybe it's the medication, I don't know, I'm just not very hungry…"

"Ok…well…how 'bout eggs? Should I scramble you a few eggs?"

"Mmm…did you say you had oatmeal?"

She smiled, "Yeah, Will got some at the store the other day…I think it's the Quaker Oats © kind…I think he got strawberry…you want that?"

He smiled back, "Yeah…"

"Ok, you rest, I'll get the oatmeal and your pills…you wanna watch TV while I'm gone?"

"Sure."

"K, here's the remote…" She handed it to him and then went out of the room. She put food and water in Donovan's dish and then made the oatmeal, grabbed some juice for Vaughn, and got the pills, and came back with the TV tray.

"Whatcha watching?"

"I think it's the Discovery Channel…it's about these frogs…it's actually pretty interesting."  
Sydney burst out laughing, causing Vaughn to give her a funny look, "What?" he asked rather defensively.

"No, no…I'm sorry, it's just that Will was watching that yesterday, and I swear he said like exactly the same thing."

Vaughn was beaming at her and for a moment she wondered if the medication had lasted that long and he was "loopy" again, as Tom had put it. "What?" She echoed.

"It was good to hear you laugh…"

She placed the tray on the floor and helped him sit up slightly. She let her hand linger on the side of his head, before she bent down and kissed him languidly. He sighed in contentment and protested when she stopped. She bent down and deposited the tray on his lap.

She smiled again as she took the spoon and mixed the oatmeal, "Later…you need to eat first, then you have to take your medicine, and then we have to change your bandages because I was stupid yesterday and didn't do it when I was supposed to…so if you have any infections, it's my fault…" she trailed off and brought her gaze back to Vaughn.

His face was unreadable but he said seriously, "Sydney…you're doing the best you can here…I know it's not easy for you…in fact, it's really gotta suck some times…and that's ok…listen, I'm fine, there was no way you would have known that unless we went through it. Stop beating yourself up…" he stopped a minute and then added, "that beating up part was supposed to be funny…but it kind of wasn't…"

She smiled at him and gave him a spoonful of oatmeal. "Thank you Vaughn."

"You don't need to thank me…I'm going to spend the rest of my life thanking you…"

She continued to feed him the oatmeal, until he ate the whole bowl. Then she gave him his medication.

"Ok honey, we need to change your bandages. I'll clean up quick and then we'll do it…k?"

"Alright…"

She grabbed the tray and put the dishes in the dishwasher and grabbed all the stuff she needed for the bandage changing. She returned with the armful of supplies and set them on the nightstand. She sat him up a little more and removed the shirt.

"Ok, we're supposed to start practicing deep breathing when you have the rib wrap off. So, let's see…" she referenced the information sheets, "You're supposed to take several deep breaths and then rest, then take a few more and rest…you're supposed to do that for awhile and then hold the breaths…" she studied the sheets for another minute, and then took action. "Ok," she took the rib wrap off and let him settle back into the bed. "Ok, now…take a deep breath and let it out…"

He nodded and she watched as he took the breath in, and winced as he let it out.

"Ooo, did that hurt?" She asked concerned.

"A little…"

"Let's try again…" She watched again as he took the breath in and let it out. There wasn't a wince that time.

"Was that easier, better?"

"Yeah, it feels tight though…when the wrap is on, it keeps it compressed, takes the pressure off. Now, the pressure is back…"

She sat with him, and realized about halfway through that she was breathing with him. She smiled at her realization, "Ok…now we have to hold the breath."

He nodded again and took the breath in and held it for a few seconds and then let it out.

"How'd that feel?" she asked.

He seemed fatigued, "It didn't feel very good, I can tell you that…"

"Try again," she prodded.

He complied and took the breath in, held it a little longer and let it out.

He didn't say anything, so she finally asked, "Well?"

"It hurts when I hold it…and it doesn't really feel too good when I let it out either."

"I'll call Tom…"

"No, it's ok…"

"Vaughn, if it something we're supposed to do and you can't or it hurts you too much, something else could be wrong."

"Sydney, I don't want to go back…"

She softened immediately, "Vaughn, I don't think Tom's going to make you come back because of that…I just want to double check, ok? I won't let you go back that easily…" She picked up the phone and dialed the number. She should just put it on speed dial she decided.

It rang twice, "Dr. Tom here…"

"Hey, it's me."

"Sydney, everything ok?"

"Well…yeah, he's ok this morning, the fever is down, but we were trying the breathing exercises that the sheet has on it, and well, it's really hurting him to hold the breaths and then let them out. The first ones we did were fine, but these second ones where he has to hold the breath, it's not going so well."

"That's ok…it's gonna take a while before he can hold the breaths. As long as he doesn't have any problem just breathing deeply, then it's ok."

"Good…just thought I'd double check…"

"Glad to hear the fever's down, call if you need anything else, as always. And I'll see you in, let's see…five days now?"

"Yep, sounds good, thanks again. Bye."

"Bye Sydney, say hi to Mike for me."

She hung up, "Tom says hi, and he says that it's normal for you not to be able to hold the breaths without pain."

"Good," he said happily.

Sydney noticed that he was getting tired again, and moved back to the bedside. "We should get the bandages changed so you can rest."

"Ok Syd."

He let her remove the surgical bandages and change them with fresh ones. She took great lengths to make sure that there wasn't any sign of infection and was careful not to hurt him. He closed his eyes sleepily as she was finishing with the ones on his face. She hated to make him stay awake, but she needed to change the bandages on his back, "Vaughn? I'm sorry baby, but we have to change these, then you can sleep." She eased herself behind him and struggled somewhat with the bandages on his back, because there was no one to hold him up this time, and it was hard for him to sit up by himself. By the time she was finished, he was exhausted. She tucked him in again and decided to wait with his ankle until later. She brushed a hand through his hair as he floated off into slumber again smiling at her touch.

She took a mental note of the time he fell asleep so she'd know what time she'd have to wake him up for medication and then slid off the bed quietly and let him rest.


	38. Pre Checkup

Please Review!

**Chapter 38: Pre Check-up**

_"Words alone are not enough…Where our strength and determination are clear, our words need merely to convey conviction, not belligerence. If we are strong, our strength will speak for itself. If we are weak, words will be of no help." – John F. Kennedy _

"The heart has its reasons which reason does not know." – Pascal

"Heaven is not reached by a single bound, But we build the ladder by which we rise." – J.G. Holland

* * *

Sydney had been meticulous with Vaughn's care over the next few days. She made sure that his bandages were changed when they needed to, she made sure that he ate at least something a few times a day, she made sure he did the deep breathing, she made sure that he was comfortable at all times, she made sure he took his medication when he was supposed to. She gave him a bath every other day, much to his delight.

He spent much of his time asleep, his body trying to repair the damage that it had weathered. He'd get frustrated that he couldn't do much and that literally everything made him tired, but Sydney kept him in rather high spirits all things considered. They dealt with a few nightmares that cropped up during that time, and also dealt with a few muscle spasms, which Sydney hoped would go away quickly because they really seemed to take a lot out of Vaughn. He'd sleep for hours after enduring one, usually most of the whole day.

Sydney had spent a lot of time with Will and Francie over those days, and she realized that she'd missed her friends' company the last few months. Life got really busy, and they hadn't had time to really connect. They had both been marvelous; both helped out whenever they could. Will had helped Sydney move Vaughn around when he needed to, particularly on those bath trips, and Francie kept spoiling Vaughn by making him extravagant meals that were really easy to eat. She took great pleasure in whipping something up for him, and having him enjoy eating it. Sydney held even more admiration for the pair then ever before.

Since Vaughn spent much of the day sleeping, and Francie and Will were at work, the days were quiet and Sydney, although she would never admit it to Vaughn, would get rather stir crazy. She didn't want to leave him alone while he was sleeping, she feared that he'd wake after she left and hurt himself thinking she'd left really. She spent some time getting to know Donovan better. The dog loved the attention, and would spend his own days between his sleeping master and his master's girlfriend, who was rapidly becoming one of his favorite humans. She watched a few movies, and read some more of her book. She cleaned up the house a little and then worked out quietly while Vaughn slept. When he was awake, she'd sit with him in the bedroom and watch TV, they'd snack and talk, but he'd tire soon after, and would drift off. He always was very apologetic when he woke again, but Sydney assured him that was what he was supposed to be doing at the moment.

Before any of them knew it, it was the night before of the check-up. Tom had called that afternoon to confirm that he'd be arriving sometime in the early afternoon the next day.

Will and Francie got home that day slightly before dinner and Francie set out to make another world-famous meal. Will offered to help and they were laughing quietly and flirting while making dinner. Sydney sat out in the kitchen with them and the three talked about old memories, and Sydney was having a really great time. Dinner was just about ready and she excused herself to go check on Vaughn. Donovan trotted along with her and she expected him to be asleep when she entered, and anticipated rousing him to eat. However, he was wide awake when she entered and staring off, looking out the curtained window as dusk set in and night came on.

"Hey…" she said quietly.

"Hey," he replied quietly, and didn't turn to look at her.

She stood silently by the bedside for a few moments, starting to get worried. Donovan barked loudly at the two, but not even that brought Vaughn out of his reverie.

"Vaughn?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah," he replied again but didn't look at her.

"What's the matter? Why didn't you call me when you woke up? How long have you been awake?"

His gaze stayed fixed on the window, but eventually he answered, "I've been up for awhile…"

"And why didn't you call?" Sydney pried.

He finally moved his gaze to her, and she couldn't read his expression, "I don't know. I guess I thought you'd want to talk with Will and Francie for a while. I wasn't in pain or anything…"

His gaze once again turned to the window.

She was dumbfounded as to what to say to him. She thought a moment and then sat down next to him on the edge of the bed. Finally, when she couldn't think of anything else, she said, "Dinner's almost ready."

"Not hungry," he replied.

"Francie will be disappointed to hear that, she's making another world-famous meal for you."

"Well, tell her I'm sorry then," he snapped and sighed.

"Vaughn, what's going on? Why are you acting this way?"

"Nothing…it's fine…"

She realized at this point, it was rather pointless to keep this conversation going, it was rather one-sided anyway. He didn't seem to want to talk, so she said, "Well, if you get hungry, then let me know…"

She got up and he didn't respond, just kept his gaze fixed on the window. She turned briefly at the door to look at him and he shifted his gaze momentarily towards her. She thought for a moment he was going to let her in, but he only said, "Can you take the dog with you?"

"Yeah…come on, Donovan…" The dog trotted out with her and she stopped outside the door for a moment, shaking her head, wondering what had just happened.

She came back out into the kitchen and Will and Francie were still laughing and talking happily. They both turned and saw Sydney's face.

They both asked at the same time, "What's wrong?"

Francie added, "Is Michael ok?"

Sydney looked at the two and smiled. "I think he's ok…I don't know, that was really strange, so un-Vaughn like. He was already awake, but he didn't call me or anything. He was just kind of sitting there. He said he wasn't hungry…I don't know, he just didn't seem like himself…"

Will offered, "Maybe he's just nervous about tomorrow?"

She smiled at them again, "Maybe…"

"Should we still eat?" asked Francie.

"Of course, just because he's not hungry doesn't mean that we can't eat…let's eat…"

Francie nodded and Will and Sydney set the table. Sydney was just about finished with the last set of silverware, when something dawned on her and she walked off to the bedroom. Will watched her go, then looked back to Francie and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, now what do you we do?" he asked.

"I guess we wait until she comes back," Francie answered. She put the dinner on warm and they sat at the table and talked while they waited.

"What do you think that was about?" Will finally asked rather out of the blue.

"I don't know," Francie answered.

They sat in silence for a minute, then moved on to other topics.

Sydney walked back into the room and Vaughn was still staring off out the window.

She approached the bed, sat down and started, "Ok, look, I don't know what's going on really, but I'm going to take a guess. I was just setting the table and I realized something…you can't sit at the table…at least not right now. And whenever you eat, you eat in here, and I have to help you. You never get to eat with us; you eat with me sometimes, but not with us as a group. I suppose you woke up and heard us talking and thought that I'd rather stay out there with my friends, instead of running in here…am I warm?"

Vaughn's eyes shifted, but he didn't look at her directly. She took that as a positive affirmation though, and continued, "So, that means that you've probably been sitting in here, thinking way more than you should be, about things that aren't really true. I've been sitting here the last few days, and when you sleep, I'll admit that I get kind of stir crazy. I'm not mad at you or anything, so don't think that either, but I also just realized that you sit in the same bed; same spot, everyday, unless you move to the bathroom – but again, that's only for a little while, and you wind up right back here again, and you never even get to see the living room. You don't even get the luxury of sitting on the couch, or reading, and TV gets really boring after a few hours. If I'm going stir crazy, you must be going nuts. You're used to being around, playing hockey, jogging with Donovan, this must be really difficult, and I'm sorry. I haven't really thought of that. I knew that you were going to be incapacitated but I didn't really think of what that would mean for you. I suppose that even though we make the meals and stuff, that you really don't feel like your…included…when Francie and Will and I are talking, because really, you aren't, we haven't thought about that. She makes the meal, and she might bring it in, they might stay a few minutes, but then they leave, and I help you eat. And are you going to look at me at all, are you listening or am I talking to the wall here?" she stopped and looked at him.

He tore his gaze away from the window and looked at her.

"Good, at least I know you're with me here…Look, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that…" she said whole-heartedly.

He looked at her, but didn't say anything.

"Am I making sense? Am I right? Will you please talk to me?" Sydney implored.

Vaughn's resolve broke at her tone, and he instantly felt bad. He looked down at the comforter and said quietly, "I'm sorry, I…just…I don't know Syd…I'm just in a mood, ok?"

"Well, why don't you talk to me, we can figure it out…you're allowed to have feelings Vaughn…you can be in any mood you want, I just want you to talk to me. If you're pissed or something, just tell me…"

"I'm not pissed…I'm just…I don't know…depressed? I don't know if that's the right word. It's not like I'm contemplating suicide in here or anything, I just…I'm extremely frustrated. All of what you said, that's true. I don't want to intrude, you know? I mean, you spend enough time alone with me as it is, I'd go nuts if I had to be with me that much, I am going nuts with myself. I can't do anything…and yeah, I mean, Will and Francie are really nice, but it's not like I really do anything with them. It's not like we can go out to dinner or something. I feel really bad that you have to be with me all the time…that you can't do stuff with your friends, that you can't go anywhere…I mean, Sydney you have to do everything for me – I don't even eat by myself…I don't think they'd really relish the idea of spending an entire meal with you helping me eat for Christ sake. I don't want you to end up resenting me in the end. So when I heard you talking with them, I didn't say anything, I figured it would be good for you if you spent some time away from me. I'm just being weird," he finished with a sigh, still staring at the comforter on the bed.

Sydney took a minute to process and then said, "Vaughn, I don't want you to feel bad about anything that's happened. None of this is your fault…look at me…" she said sternly, and he did. "NONE of this is your fault…I signed on for the long haul Vaughn. No one ever said this was going to be easy, and I'm learning here too…I don't always know what to do. I don't know if you want me to leave you alone or if I should stay. I don't want to be away from you and I'm not going to resent you. I love you…I know you're frustrated, but it'll get better once you can start to move around. Who knows, Tom might tell you that you can start moving around tomorrow. It's not like it a chore for me to come in here, I don't mind helping you with everything, anything…and Will and Francie aren't going to care about that stuff. They aren't like that…and all of us here have been a little lax with our support too. I do leave you alone an awful lot; I think that's partly why you sleep so much. I'm going to go out there and tell Will and Francie some stuff, and I want us all to start eating together. We can all come in here or we'll bring you out there, but as much effort as we're putting forth, we still need to work on some stuff. You've got to tell me what's going on though…I don't want you to get depressed in here…I mean, you're bound to have mood swings as we work through this, but I want to help and I can't help if I don't know what's going on with you…If I go out and talk to them, will you eat with us?"

Vaughn was silent, but then smiled slightly, "You're amazing, do you know that?"

Sydney smiled back, "Thanks, but I think you're the one who's amazing…"

"Why? All I did was get my ass kicked…"

"Vaughn! That's not true – you survived, that's amazing in itself."

"Yeah, but you saved me…it's a rather common thing around here…I'll try to talk to you more, ok?"

"Good."

"Will you tell me if I'm driving you insane?"

"You won't, but I will if you do."

"Ok, yeah, I'll eat with you…"

"Great." Sydney got up and left the bed, reached the doorway and turned around. She went back to the bed, and kissed Vaughn sweetly. Then she smiled and walked out as he watched her go.


	39. Pre CheckUp, Part 2

P/N: Just to clear thing up. I have permission from the author to post this here. She is aware of what I am doing and is ok with it. I do not take credit for it, and I never have. I just enjoy it to much not toshare it with others.Please Review!

**Chapter 39: Pre Check-Up, Part 2**

_"All thoughts, all passions, all delights,  
Whatever stirs the mortal frame,  
Are but the ministers of Love,  
And feed his sacred flame" – S.T. Coleridge _

"Omnia vincit Amor; et nos cedamus Amori." (Love conquers all; let us too yield to Love.) – Virgil

"Thou wert my guide, philosopher, and friend." – Pope, Essay on Man, IV

* * *

Sydney made her way back to the kitchen. Will and Francie were still sitting at the dining room table.

Will noticed her first and said, "Hey, everything ok?"

She sat down in the chair next to Will's, "Um, yeah…we talked over some stuff…here's the thing…he's worried that I'm going to resent him and he thinks he's going to drive me to the brink of insanity because I spend so much time with him. I realized when I was setting the table that he can't sit here with us, and really, we don't ever eat together. He always eats in there, and yeah, Francie makes it, and we all might stay in there for a minute, and you guys have been great, Will – helping me get him to the tub and stuff, but I spend time with you guys…he doesn't. He said he doesn't want to intrude because it's the only time I'm not with him. I told the doctor that he'd have a wider support group at home, but I've been really lax making that happen. He said that you wouldn't want to spend a whole meal with me helping him eat and even though I told him that you guys wouldn't care, he–"

Will broke in, "We don't care Syd."

"I know…but I think he's still embarrassed. It's really hard for him, it's hard for me too, and I know I'm putting a lot on you guys by asking you to help take this on. I want him to feel comfortable here, he was getting that way before, but I think he feels like an outsider here, and really, I haven't done a lot to make him not feel that way. I want this to be his home…but I can't do it alone, and neither can he."

Will and Francie looked at each other and Francie said, "We've talked about this before, Will and I. We want to help, that's why I cook and he helps with getting Michael where he needs to go, but I guess we weren't sure how much help to give. We didn't want to make it seem that you guys couldn't handle it. We'd love to do more, we just didn't know how…"

"I guess I've been a little lax in the communication department all around here," Sydney said sheepishly.

Will offered, "We haven't been real forthright either, Syd."

"I'd really like it if we could eat together…"

"Yeah, that'd be great. It's kind of boring sometimes, just the two of us," Francie said and Will nodded.

"I liked having Mike around to talk to – another guy, you know…we could talk about sports and stuff when you girls were talking about something else. I miss that…" Will said honestly and then added; "Maybe we could watch a movie after dinner?"

Sydney sighed, "I think that'd be great. You guys are the best, you know that…I'm glad to hear that…thanks for being so understanding…" She got up and went over to hug her friends. A few tears were shed between the women, but Sydney noticed that Will was a little misty too.

"Oh, I hope dinner's still ok…" Sydney realized suddenly.

"It should be fine, I just left it on warm," Francie reassured her.

"Ok, I'll go tell Vaughn, maybe we could eat in the living room…I'll ask him. Will, you'll help me get him out here, right?"

"Of course," he said.

"Ok…I'll be right back, why don't you guys start loading the plates."

She ran off to the bedroom, hoping Vaughn would be ok with that scenario.

She came in the room, and was worried instantly because Vaughn was once again staring out the window. It was dark out now though and she doubted he could see anything at all.

"Vaughn?" she asked gently.

His gaze turned to her, "Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm alright…just thinking…"

"About?"

He smiled, "We don't have to talk about it now…later, ok? How'd the talk with Will and Francie go?"

She smiled back, "Are you sure you don't want to talk now?"

"Yes, I'm sure…it'll wait…"

"Ok, the talk went really well. They actually had been thinking the same thing, and they wanted to help more, but didn't know how, or if they should. They didn't want to intrude either. They'd love if we came out and ate with them in the living room. They thought after we could watch a movie or something. Does that sound ok?"

Sydney asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I just don't want them doing it because they think they have to…I mean, they are your friends…I would do stuff before…but…well…you know…I just don't want it to be for the wrong reason…"

"You mean like pity?"

"Yeah, exactly."

Sydney reached out and touched Vaughn's cheek, "Vaughn, that's not why they're doing it…you don't need to be embarrassed or anything…ok?"

"Yeah, ok…"

"Will's going to come in to help us get to the living room…they're glad to do it Vaughn…"

He smiled at her as she moved out of the room.

Will and Francie were busy moving the dinner into the living room, and trying to get everything in place.

"Will?" Sydney asked.

"Yeah? You guys ready?'

"Uh huh…I think the couch would be best…easier for him to lay down…"

"Couch it is," he said happily as he got up to help.

Sydney and Will entered at the same time, Will piped up, "Ready for dinner Mike?"

He looked a slight bit uneasy, but replied, "Yeah."

Sydney and Will took their time easing Vaughn off the bed and walked slowly with him down the hall. His ankle seemed better today, so he didn't hobble as much, but it was slow-going nonetheless. They aided Vaughn in getting settled on the couch. Sydney ran off to get the oxygen and Will helped prop him up with pillows. When Sydney came back, she almost burst out laughing, Will was being such a mother hen, asking Vaughn if he was comfortable, if he needed any more pillows, if he was cold. "Are you sure you're not cold, cause I can get another blanket," Will said.

"No, I'm good Will…thanks…"

Sydney came back and rescued Vaughn. She smiled a thank you at Will, who smiled back, and she sat down on the couch to hook up Vaughn's oxygen. Once that was done, food was carried in, and they all sat around the coffee table. Will and Francie had thoughtfully moved the coffee table closer to the couch, she noted. Sydney was sitting on the end of the couch with Vaughn, and Will and Francie were on the floor, sitting cross-legged, in front of the fire. A small fire was glowing in the fireplace. They had brought a few candles in and the atmosphere was cozy and comfortable. She couldn't have found two better friends.

Sydney thought things couldn't get any better, then Francie said, "We should do this every night…you know Michael, you've been here for days, and we don't really get to see you enough. Syd wants to keep you all to herself, Will and I figured it out."

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah, she's very possessive…but I like it."

Sydney smiled at her friends and her love and gave him a bite of Francie's delicious meal.

They chatted throughout the meal about Francie's restaurant and joked about Will, the duck man, much to his despair. Sydney loved her friends even more as the night went on, they told Vaughn stories about her, some rather embarrassing, but she was rewarded with more smiles and laughs out of Michael Vaughn than she had seen in a long time. When they were done with the meal, Sydney got up to help clear away the dishes.

Will and Francie jumped up and Will said, "NO! No, you guys just relax, we'll take care of this…you guys pick out a movie…"

They raced off with the dishes before Sydney could protest. She looked down at Vaughn who was smiling at her.

"Those were great stories Syd…"

"Yeah," she said blushing, "Well, now you have to tell me a bunch of your really embarrassing moments…"

He looked over to the fire and watched it crackle for a few minutes. Sydney was getting concerned again, "Vaughn, are you ok? Is this ok? It's not too much is it?"

He smiled, "No, it's nice Syd. Will and Francie are great…they're wonderful…just like you."

"The whole staring off thing is kinda starting to worry me, Vaughn."

"Sorry, I'm just thinking…that's all…"

"Good stuff or not good stuff?"

"Both, but currently it's good…we can talk about the bad later…"

"Ok, I'm going to hold you to that…" she leaned down and kissed him. "Ok, what movie should we watch?"

"Something that will keep me awake, cause you know, I have this tendency to drift off…"

She smiled as she made her way over to the shelf, "What genre?"

"I'd love to say comedy, but I think that might hurt too much at this point…how about Action?" he asked with a hint of mischief and adventure in his eye.

"Such a guy," Sydney muttered. She spent a few minutes reading off titles to Vaughn, "How about 'Lord of the Rings?' That's very action-packed, have you seen it?"

"Yeah, but it's like three hours long, I don't think I'm gonna last that long."

"K, let's see…hey…I didn't know we had 'The Others.'" She yelled out to the kitchen, "Which one of you bought 'The Others?'"

Will poked his head out, "That'd be me…it's a great movie! Fran was seriously scared out of her mind. I think she almost peed her pants!" he laughed.

"I did not Will Tippin!" Francie yelled back, "But it was pretty good…great scary movie."

Sydney turned her attention back to Vaughn, "You wanna watch this one?"

"Sure," he said.

"Ok, is it ok with you guys if we watch that one?"

"Sure," they said in unison.

Sydney moved a few of the pillows so she could sneak behind Vaughn on the couch. When Will and Francie came back, Sydney was sitting behind Vaughn, his head was on her shoulder, and they both looked particularly comfortable in that position. Will and Francie smiled and Will turned off a few lights and started the movie. He and Francie sat in a chair adjacent to them.  
They watched the movie in relative silence until it started to get suspenseful. Vaughn and Will smiled at each other when the women they were sitting with shrieked at a certain part and Vaughn could feel Sydney's grip on him tighten. This time, however, he knew it wasn't to offer him comfort, but to comfort herself. He smiled because this was really the first time in a while that he felt that Sydney really needed him. It made him remember how it felt to be with her before he needed her so much.

He managed to stay awake through the whole film, but he knew some of it probably had to do with the jumps and starts that Sydney's body would make when she was startled. When it was over, Will helped Sydney get Vaughn back to the bed, and both Will and Francie came in to say goodnight and to thank them for the great evening.

Vaughn was taken aback and said, "I should be thanking you…it was nice to feel normal again," he said as he smiled at the couple.

Will and Francie said their goodnights, and left Sydney and Vaughn alone.


	40. The Night Before

**P/N: **Late I know, but happy Thanksgiving.

**Chapter 40: The Night Before**

_"Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss! Her lips suck forth my soul: see, where it flies!" – Christopher Marlowe _

"Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating." – O. Henry, Gift of the Magi

"Rich the treasure,  
Sweet the pleasure,–  
Sweet is the pleasure after the pain." – Dryden, Alexander's Feast

"But how to gain rebirth? You answered – Fight!" – Mirzda Kempe

"Was it a vision or a waking dream? Fled is that music:–do I wake or sleep?" – John Keats

* * *

Sydney got Vaughn back on the oxygen after they returned to the bedroom and brought him his last pain medication for the night. She then changed her clothes and brushed her teeth, and came back to help him brush his. He was starting to do some of those things on his own, but since he was left-handed, some of it was still awkward. She found though, that it was better to let him struggle for a minute and ask for help, than to give it outright. That way she wasn't really doing everything for him anymore, and she was surprised at how resourceful he got when it was something particularly difficult. She had been most impressed when earlier in the day he had managed to shave himself after she put the shaving cream on. She was proud of him, and when she came back in, she had to tell him.

"You know Vaughn, I know how hard this is for you, and I know you get frustrated, but just look at how far you've come in the last few days. You shaved yourself this morning, you're really very resourceful when you want to get something done and you want to do it yourself…I'm proud of you."

He beamed back up at her with a slight blush, and she was rewarded with the second appearance of Mr. Vaughn's dimples. She flashed her own and leaned down to kiss him.

"Yeah, I was kind of impressed myself with the shaving…although I kind of liked it when you did it. I hate to do it anyway, but it was a nice feeling of accomplishment."

"Well, when Tom comes tomorrow, hopefully he'll let you off of the bed rest, and then we can get you moving around."

"Yeah…" he was quiet then, and she sensed there was something else on his mind.

"You wanna talk about what you were thinking about before?"

He smiled at her. "I thought a lot today about Tom coming…I'm…well, I'm scared," he said letting a breath out.

"Why? He's your friend, he's not going to hurt you."

"No, I'm scared because I don't want him to tell me that I'm not making any progress and that I have to either stay in bed some more or go back to the hospital."

"Vaughn, he's not going to do that…"

"Yeah, well…you never know…"

"No, I do know, because I sit here and see the progress…" she waited a minute and then added,  
"Was that all you were thinking about?"

He smiled a knowing smile, "No…"

"What else?" she asked.

"I thought a lot about what happened to me…about Sloane…I suppose that's another reason why I was in such a great mood," he said with a sad smile, as he leaned his head back against the pillow. Sydney noticed he looked really tired.

"What were you thinking about…what they did to you?"

"Yeah…"

"Wanna tell me?"

He smiled, "I'm not sure you really want to hear it…all of it…"

"Vaughn, I want to hear it…I've heard plenty and I haven't broken down or anything, have I?"

"No…"

"Ok, then tell me…"

He thought a moment on how to start, "They've taken something from me…"

She waited for more, but it didn't come, "What do you mean? Taken what?"

"They took me away from you, took you away…"

"Almost took your life too…" Sydney added shuddering.

"Yeah…but what they took was worse…they stole my soul for awhile. A person can only take so much of that kind of torture before you stop caring. Towards the end, I really couldn't have cared less if they'd kill me, you can only take so much. They took my courage, my pride, my life…it's like I have this shadow that's following me, and I can't get rid of it no matter how much I try. My shadow, the one that I had before, it's gone. If I stood in the sunlight, I wouldn't have one…they replaced it with this darkness that I can't shake. Sometimes, if I'm alone, it's like I'm not here…it's hard to tell if any of this is real. After so much pain and so much time where it was all about pain, it's like I'm not alive if I'm not in pain. The medication takes the pain away, but it's also like I'm gone…if I can feel the pain, then I know it's real."

Sydney stared at the man in front of her, the man that she loved, and was afraid…afraid that they had done something that she couldn't repair. It took her a minute to realize that he had stopped talking.

"Michael," she began and he looked at her surprised, "I've been in the dark a lot. I was in the dark my whole childhood, I was in the dark when I worked at SD-6, I was in the dark when they murdered Danny, I was in the dark when I started this whole double life. I've been in different shades of darkness my whole life. Do you want to know what brought me out of the darkness? What made me step back into the light?"

He nodded.

"You did…You were my light. You brought the world back into color. You gave me a reason to fight, and you never let me linger in the darkness too long before you pulled me out. You are the reason that I am here today. Shadows are going to follow us no matter where we go, no matter what we do. I'll always carry those shadows with me, but they are the past, and you are my future. Light is my future…I know what's it's like to think that pain is the only thing that keeps you tied to the world, that keeps you going, I've been there…but believe me, not being is pain is much better, because when you're not in pain, then you can enjoy living. And I want you to enjoy living with me Michael."

"You just called me 'Michael' twice in the span of less than five minutes…"

"I know," she said smiling, "I knew it would get your attention."

He smiled back at her, "Yes it did…I'm your light, huh?"

"Yes, you are…will you let me be yours?"

"Sydney, you already are…I love you."

"I love you too…don't ever stop talking to me about his kind of stuff, ok? I want you to feel like you can tell me everything…I may not always have an answer, but I'll always listen…"

"I know…and I do…I would never tell anyone else that stuff…not even Barnett…one sentence like that and I'm sure she'd have me off agent status in a second."

"I wouldn't be so sure, this is all part of the process Vaughn."

"I like it when you call me Michael…"

"I know," she said and leaned down to kiss him. After they kissed for a few minutes, she pulled him into a fierce, yet comforting hug. He let her relax him, letting the shadows dissipate into the abyss. She always saved him, always pulled him out before he drown beneath the wave. God, he loved her.


	41. Shadow Casting, Casting Off

**Chapter 41: Shadow Casting / Casting Off**

_"Rest, rest, perturbed spirit!" – William Shakespeare _

"Happiness is the only good, reason the only torch, justice the only worship, humanity the only religion, and love the only priest." – R.G. Ingersoll

"All that remains of her  
Now is pure womanly." – Thomas Hood

"I am tired of tears and laughter,  
And men that laugh and weep  
Of what may come hereafter  
For men that sow and reap:  
I am wary of days and hours,  
Blown buds of barren flowers,  
Desires and dreams and powers,  
And everything but sleep." – Algernon Swinburne

* * *

She held him closely for several minutes. He relished in the feeling of being close to her again, hearing her steady heartbeat as his ear was pressed to her chest. He let her lay him down, fixing the pillows so he was still slightly elevated. If Vaughn could have described her at that moment, he would have said she was an angel. She was positively glowing, and there was only soft light in the room. He watched as she busied herself for a few minutes, shutting curtains and turning off the remaining lights, save one, which she left on every night. She thought it might make it easier for him, after spending so much time in the dark. She checked on Donovan and shut the bedroom door, coming back to the bed and nestling herself next to him.

They lay in silence, until Sydney pushed herself up so she was looking at him, her head resting on her hand, propped next to him. He looked over at her slightly confused, wondering what the scrutiny was for. He was just about to ask when she planted a passionate kiss on his lips. She finished and went back to her place propped next to him. Her other hand was resting on his chest, the warmth of the hand spreading all over his body. She moved it so it was lying directly over his heart and left it there. She brought her gaze up to meet his and said, "I meant what I said, you know, I wasn't just saying that because I thought it would make you feel better or something."

"I know that Syd."

"Ok, just making sure…" She looked down at where her hand rest and he followed her gaze. "I'll always keep this safe Michael…I know I haven't done a really great job up to this point, the first part of our relationship was all about me…you worried about me, and I knew practically nothing about you…now, that I've almost lost you…I know…I know what I would have missed, and I'm so thankful that I have another chance at it. I plan on taking full advantage of that, and making you as happy as you can possibly be. I'll keep your heart safe, even if I can't keep your body safe all the time…" She turned to look him in the eyes.

His eyes were misty and he managed to choke out, "Thank you…" before he pulled her over to him.

She added, "I know you're scared, but Tom's not going to send you back…you just need to get a good night's rest…"

"Well, then we're on easy street…since I sleep so soundly every other night…" he said sarcastically.

"Vaughn…"

"I'm just being moody…don't mind me…"

"You want me to help you with your mood?" she asked innocently.

"Yeah, that'd be nice…"

She climbed on top of him, resting so that she was inches away from his face.

"You want another world famous blowjob?" she asked in the same innocent voice, while bring her hand down to his rapidly enlarging cock.

"Mmm…Yeah, but not tonight…ok? Can I just be inside you tonight?"

She looked at him concerned, "Sure…" She stroked his face, "You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah…safe…comfort…you know…"

She smiled in understanding, "You got it."

She sat up removing her shirt and Vaughn reached out his right hand to cup her breast. She placed her hand over his and gave him a reassuring squeeze, than got off of him for a moment to remove her pants. She helped him out of his shorts and tee shirt and then climbed back on top of him. She could feel his cock trapped between them, throbbing in anticipation. She reached down and stroked him, eliciting a string of moans as his eyes closed and his back arched, sending him into her waiting hand. She maneuvered herself so she was directly over his penis, the tip resting in her folds, and waited until he opened his eyes and looked at her. Once she had his attention again, she eased the head of his cock inside her. She worked her muscles, pulling him in deeper, pulsating around his shaft. He felt like he was being swallowed whole, and he was in pure bliss. Once he was halfway in, she pushed down on him hard; making his cock thrust the rest of the way inside her. She rhythmically tensed and eased her muscles on him; making his eyes roll back and his breathing reach new labored heights. He was groaning and moving his legs frantically, trying to take all the sensations in. She could feel every curve and gland of his cock. She teased him slightly, as she felt a rush of moisture emanate from her wet channel, sliding off of him very slowly and then bearing down on him until he was fully inside her quickly. He thought he was going to come just about every time she repeated the motion, but just as he was reaching the point of no return, she would ease off him slowly and make him wait. He didn't think the intensity could get any higher, but every time she stopped and started again, he would be driven to a new level of passion. She leaned down and kept up her evilly slow motions, resting her forehead on his and mixing his labored breaths with her own. He was throbbing inside her, she could feel the warmth of him reaching new highs and it rocked her to the core. She wanted to wait for him to come, but the feeling of his cock throbbing endlessly inside her proved too much for her and she convulsed on him, squeezing and embracing him in the most intimate of ways. Her convulsions set off shudders of his own, and he lurched up deeper inside her. She clamped down on him deep in her and clenched the muscles tightly. She could feel him coating her walls, spasming endlessly in his release. Wave after wave of his seed spurted into her. She waited until his body relaxed slightly and then relaxed her muscles on him and allowed him to come out of her slightly, but not all the way. She lay her head down on his chest and waited until his breathing slowed. Once she could determine a steady pace, she pushed herself upright and checked to make sure he was ok. His eyes were still closed, his face a mix of slight exhaustion and satisfaction. He sensed her eyes on him and opened his to look at her.

"Good?"

"It's always good, Sydney."

She smiled and kissed him before asking, "Are you still scared?"

"Not at the moment, but that might have something to do with the beautiful woman on top of me."

"You feel safe?"

"Yes."

"If I stay here, do you think you'll stay feeling safe?"

"I would imagine so, yes," he answered with a glint in his eyes.

"Ok…then this is where I'll park it for the night," she stated factually.

"Are you sure, Syd?"

"Yeah, I'm sure…I'd do anything for you."

"I know…but really, I mean, do you want me inside you all night? Isn't that going to be uncomfortable?"

"I find you inside me to be quite comfortable actually."

"If you're sure."

"I am…"

"I love you Sydney."

"I love you too…Michael."

He smiled at the sound of that. "You're going to totally tease me with that in bed aren't you?"

"You bet your ass I am," she smiled delightfully and retook her spot on his chest. His right arm reached out and rubbed circles on her back until she felt herself fall asleep. Vaughn stayed awake for a few minutes after, relishing in the treasure that was sleeping on his chest. When he fell asleep that night, he was not thinking about torture, or Sloane, or hospitals, or Tom. He only thought about love, and how much Sydney gave to him.


	42. The Checkup

**Chapter 42: The Check-up  
**

"_O magic sleep! O comfortable bird,  
That broodest o'er the troubled sea of the mind  
Till it is hush'd and smooth!" – John Keats_

_"I shall light a candle of understanding in their heart, which shall not be put out." – Apocrypha, II Esdras_

_"He jests at scars that never felt a wound." – William Shakespeare_

_

* * *

_

Sydney woke the following morning to a brightly sunlit bedroom. She was still on top of Vaughn, who was sleeping soundlessly and peacefully. It was one of the first mornings that she had woken to find him actually in a state of what she'd call rest. Other mornings, his face was always clouded by thoughts and dreams of events he didn't wish to revisit. But not this morning. The sunlight cast a gold glow over the room, making Vaughn look healthier than he was. His skin took on a tan look, and Sydney smiled because there were no creases in his forehead. She traced the outline of this face, resting on his dimpled chin and placing a feather-light kiss on his neck. His face was shadowed in a light stubble, and had Tom not been coming over today, she would have encouraged him to keep it. He looked damn sexy with it. She could still feel him inside her, softer but the presence still strongly there. She resisted the urge to squeeze him in his sleep, knowing that it would bring an end to his peaceful slumber. The temptation grew to be too overbearing however, and after a few minutes staring at his handsome face and sexy stubble all aglow in the sunlit room, the motion was almost involuntary.

He stirred but did not wake fully, and Sydney was mildly surprised. She felt a wave of mischief and squeezed him much harder. He moaned in his slumber, and Sydney was taken with a particularly kinky thought: if she could make him come without waking, it might replace some of those nasty nightmares he had. She grinned in anticipation and made sure her next movements were deliberate, yet soft enough that it wouldn't rouse him. She smiled devilishly at this new game as she moved her hips in circles, alternating squeezing him and pumping his shaft with her muscles. She was wet in an instant and he was making soft moaning sounds that came from deep in his chest. My God, she thought, that is even sexier – the stubble and the chest moan! She moved up slightly and nipped on his earlobe, sucking it into her mouth as his body started to respond to her fully. His penis was already growing inside her and she could feel her walls beginning to expand to accommodate his full, erect size. She smiled and moved to below his ear, sucking on the spot that drove him insane. His head moved towards her, nuzzling her while she kissed him. Then she moved to his neck, moving up and down on his shaft, slowly undulating herself on his member. His head started to move from side to side on the pillow, and his face broke out in the most adorable furrow. She smiled as she noted his reaction to her. She thought of an even eviler plan and sat up on him, riding him slowly, but purposefully, with intent. Her body knew his perfectly, and she knew exactly what would make him squirm. She leaned back so her hands rested on his legs and watched as new emotions wafted across his face. His hips began to aid her in her movements, bringing them both closer to release. He would moan on every down stroke as she took him in her fully. His legs were starting to shake, and she knew that his release was very close on the horizon. She leaned back down until her mouth was right next to his ear and whispered, "Good Morning, Michael…come…" and then nibbled on his ear and the spot below it. He let out a long moan and shot into her. She continued to pump him with her muscles until his movements stopped and she felt his last spurt subside. Then she lay down on his chest again as his hand came around to rest on her back.

"Holy shit Sydney…" were his first words of the morning.

"Did you enjoy that?" she asked smiling widely.

"I totally thought it was a dream…it would have been a helluva one too…WOW. It was like a surround sound movie there…full throttle…" he laughed quietly, "Good Morning by the way, what a nice way to wake up…can we do that every morning?" he asked innocently.

"Um, no, I don't think so…cause we'd never get out of bed then."

"Well, that's fine with me baby."

"I know…but sometimes, there are other things on the agenda, like for instance, a certain doctor paying us a visit today."

"Oh, yeah…I kind of forgot, after all the…stimulation you've been providing. Do you think I'm getting enough exercise?"

"I'd say it's been adequate."

"I'd say it's been amazing."

"Well put, Mr. Vaughn."

"I like waking up inside you…"

"Hmm…me too…and I hate to tell you, but we should really dislodge ourselves here, we've got to get ready for our company today."

He pouted like a little boy, "Oh, alright…"

She eased herself off of him, covered him back up with the blanket and threw on her robe.

"You want breakfast?"

"Yeah, ok…"

"What do you want? Oatmeal again? I can see if Will and Francie are still here, she might have whipped something up…"

"You can pick…I don't really care."

"Ok…be back in a few."

She went out into the kitchen in a really good mood. She fed Donovan and filled his water dish. She was just about to take out something to make for breakfast when Will scared the living daylights out of her.  
"Hey, sorry…I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's ok, I thought you and Fran had left for the day already."

"Fran went into the restaurant early to take care of some things, but she's gonna be back by the time that doctor gets here…and I stuck around…took the dog for a walk…"

"That was thoughtful of you, thanks. Why is Fran coming back for the doctor?"

"We thought it might be nice if he could see the support that Vaughn was getting."

"You guys are amazing."

Will was smiling at her, "What?" she asked.

"You're the one who's amazing…"

"Thanks Will…that's sweet…did you eat? Cause I was going to make Vaughn and I something."

"I'm good. I think I'll go for a quick run."

"Ok, I'll see you later."

She watched him leave and smiled and then went back to making breakfast. She stuck with simple food, eggs and toast, and took the food and some juice into the bedroom. Vaughn's eyes were closed, and she wondered if he had fallen back to sleep, but when he heard her put the tray down, he opened his eyes.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, just resting…"

"Good…that's what you're supposed to be doing…I made eggs and toast, that ok?"

"That's fine…" He attempted to sit up himself, and did so rather successfully, but with a fair amount of pain. Sydney didn't hover though, nor did she rush over to help. She realized that he was determined to do things on his own, and she couldn't fault him for that, unless he was going to hurt himself terribly.

"Well, I sort of achieved the goal I set for myself," he said.

She smiled knowingly, "I see that…that was good…" then she moved to help him sit up the rest of the way.

They had an enjoyable breakfast, and Vaughn seemed to be rather relaxed, considering that in a few short hours, Dr. Tom would be making his appearance.

After breakfast, Sydney brought a tub of hot water and a washcloth and towel, to clean Vaughn up from their dalliances over the last 24 hours. She lathered up his face so he could shave, which he did on his own again, and he smiled when Sydney indicated that she thought the stubble was sexy. "I'll leave it on another day for you…" he promised.

"Alright," she pouted.

She changed his bandages and they did the deep breathing before Sydney reapplied the rib wrap. She made sure he got his pain medication all before helping him dress for the day. She dressed him in better clothes than he'd been wearing for just lounging around, but still easy enough to get off for the exam that Tom was certainly going to perform. Once she was done and he was all dressed, she had to hand it to herself; the man looked incredible when he dressed himself, but she did a bang-up job too. She was smiling, admiring her work, when Vaughn looked at her strangely.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing, just admiring the view…"

"You keep talking like that, and Tom will walk in on some of that stuff we tried to hide from the hospital staff at Good Samaritan."

She smiled and kissed him, "I'm going to take a shower, ok? I'll be back in a while, you be ok?"

"Yeah…" he sighed.

"What?"

"I want to take a shower with you…" he said pouting.

"Soon enough, honey, soon enough." She kissed him once more and left the bedroom.

She took a quick shower and came back into the bedroom wearing only towels.

Vaughn groaned when he saw her, "Oh come on…that's so mean."

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You come in here dressed…dressed like that! And I'm not supposed to react? Are you nuts or just trying to drive me to insanity? More than I already am…" he quipped.

"I didn't know that towels turned you on Vaughn," Sydney joked.

"It ain't the towels honey, it's what's under them…" he smiled wickedly.

She made a point to let the towel drop before she reached the closet, "Oops!" she said as she bent over to pick it up.

"Oh. My. God. Sydney!" he moaned breathily.

She laughed and pulled on some clothes, then came back to the bed, "Sorry, I shouldn't tease you so much on your examination day," she nuzzled his nose.

"Just as long as you make up for it later," he said.

"Tell you what, if you pass your exam, we'll celebrate…"

"You make it sound like it's a test…"

"It is, everything is a test Mr. Vaughn…" she lost it before she could sound halfway serious though and he giggled with her.


	43. The Checkup, Part 2 I’m Tom, I’ll be

**P/N: OK, I screwed up the chapters a little bit. I somehow left out chapter 41 and put chapter 42 in its place. Everything is ok now. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 43: The Check-up, Part 2 / I'm Tom, I'll be your examiner today**

_"(When this began) I had nothing to say / And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me (I was confused)  
And I let it all out to find / That I'm not the only person with these things in mind (Inside of me)  
But all the vacancy the words revealed / Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel (Nothing to lose)  
Just stuck hollow and alone / And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real / I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone) I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along / Somewhere I belong  
And I've got nothing to say / I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face (I was confused)  
Looking everywhere only to find / That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind (So what am I)  
What do I have but negativity / 'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me (Nothing to lose)  
Nothing to gain hollow and alone / And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real / I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone) I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along / Somewhere I belong  
I will never know myself until I do this on my own / And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed / I will never be anything till I break away from me / I will break away, I'll find myself today  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real / I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone) I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real  
I wanna find something I've wanted all along / Somewhere I belong  
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong / I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong / Somewhere I belong" – Linkin Park (Somewhere I belong)_

* * *

They spent the next few hours watching really bad B-movies on cable and laughing. They had a light lunch because neither were very hungry, and played with Donovan for a while. At about one o'clock, the phone rang.  
Sydney reached over and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sydney, it's Tom."

She looked over to Vaughn who looked at her, "Hi Tom."

"I'm on my way, I should be there in like 15 minutes…"

"Ok, we'll see you then."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

She hung up and looked over at Vaughn. His eyes had taken a familiar gleam, one of apprehension and nervousness. She sensed his mood change, "Hey, it's gonna be ok…he's not sending you back. It's just Tom…just remind yourself, it's just Tom."

He took a deep breath, "Yeah…ok…just Tom."

She cuddled with him as they spend the next fifteen minutes in anxious silence. Vaughn jumped when the doorbell rang.

"It's ok…" Sydney said as she got out of the bed. "Remember – just Tom."

"Got it," Vaughn said.

Sydney walked to the door and opened it to find Tom standing there with a bunch of stuff in his arms, looking very much like a tailgater and not a doctor. She laughed at his appearance – rumpled tee shirt, faded jeans, and a Dodgers baseball hat. The only thing that looked even remotely medical was the stethoscope around his neck. She reached out so she could take some of the paraphernalia out of his hands before he dropped something.

"Tom, let me help you…"

"Thanks…I thought I was going to drop something on the way in!"

"I'm surprised you didn't!"

"How is he," he asked, changing his tone so that it was lower.

"He's ok…you know, it's hard…but we're dealing…"

"I never had a doubt." He smiled.

"I should warn you though," she said in the same hushed tone, "he's kinda freaking over this whole thing. He's absolutely terrified that you're going to make him go back to the hospital. He's really nervous," Sydney said while chewing her lip.

"I'll be gentle…" Tom said smiling. "He's really got nothing to worry about. I don't have any intention of making him go back. I think he's fine here…"

"I know, but he's really scared."

"I'll be gentle," he repeated, and she believed him.

She walked him back to the bedroom and entered first. Vaughn forced a tense smile, but Sydney could see that he was nervous. She smiled in reassurance, put the stuff she was holding on the chair, and mouthed "it's just Tom." He smiled and nodded.

"Hey Mikey!" Tom said as he came over to the bed. "How're you feelin?"

"Not too bad…Sydney keeps me feeling pretty good…"

"I'm sure she does Mike. I brought you something," he said.

Vaughn looked to Sydney and she smiled again. Tom rummaged around in the stuff he brought and finally found what he was looking for. He handed it to Vaughn.

Vaughn looked at the package in his hand with wonder. "Tom…wow…this is…thanks…you didn't have to do that…"

"I know that Mike…but I wanted to…open it…"

The box was already slightly ajar and Sydney smiled when she realized that Tom had done that on purpose so that it would be easy for Vaughn to open. Her curiosity got the best of her and she sat down next to Vaughn on the other side of the bed.

She smiled at him as he opened the box, like it was Christmas morning and he was 9 again. Sydney watched as he pulled out a framed picture of himself, Eric, and Tom smiling; a college picture she guessed. He smiled at the faces smiling up at him and she met Tom's eyes and he was smiling as well. Next he pulled out a shot glass and gave Tom a questioning look. "That's for later…when you're better…than we can get drunk, but not now…cause I'm the doctor, and that would be very bad advice…" Vaughn smiled and took out the next item, which was a small statuette of a hockey player wearing a Kings uniform. Vaughn smirked and Tom added, "Yeah, there's something else that goes with that…" Vaughn looked back in the box and found a puck. He looked at it and then looked again to Tom. "It's from their last game…the one they won…"

Vaughn looked at it astonished, "But…how did you…"

"Ebay…I'm kind of a junkie…you'd be amazed what you can find on there…" he smiled. "You like it?"

"Huh! Do I need to answer that?" Vaughn inspected it further, "You can see where somebody's stick caught the edge…took a sliver off."

"Yep," Tom said proudly.

Vaughn looked up at him, "Tom…thanks…" He reached out his hand which Tom took urgently and shook it. He then leaned down and gave him a gentle hug as well. "Anytime, buddy, anytime." He said as he stood back up.

They spent a few minutes more just talking idly, and Sydney couldn't stop smiling. Tom just had this incredible sense about Vaughn. He'd made him totally relaxed, as a friend, before he stepped into the doctor mode.

Finally though, Tom said, "I suppose we should get on with the check-up, huh? Then I can get out of here and leave Sydney to do the real caring…" he smiled at the two, who smiled back.

Tom changed to slightly more professional, but still cordial and friend-like. "So, have you been resting?"

"Yeah…I have…it's driving me insane…I can't move at all…bed rest sucks, Tom."

"I know…but it's what you needed to do…what about the spasms? Have they been a problem?" he asked addressing both of them.

Sydney piped up, "He's had a few, but the morphine does its job. He usually sleeps a lot after one though, they really wipe him out."

"Yeah, they have a way of doing that…but you wouldn't say they're excessive, would you? They don't happen on like a daily basis?"

"No."

"Good…what about pain…tolerable? Horrible?"

"It's tolerable I suppose. The pain medication dulls it…it goes away completely if Sydney mixes them…but then I get weird, and I don't like that feeling. It's like I'm high or something."

Tom laughed, "High? You?"

Vaughn scowled at him, "Yeah, you should talk…"

Tom smiled, "So it's manageable? Has it lessened at all?"

"I don't know…it depends on the time I guess…sometimes it's better, sometimes it's worse."

"Ok…breathing…you've followed directions – you still have the oxygen on…so that's good, I'm very proud…good boy…What about the breathing exercises, have they gotten any easier?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Sydney makes me do them at least twice a day. It really hurt the first couple of times, but it's not bad now. Holding the breath still smarts though."

"Ok…I want to listen to your chest ok?"

"Yeah…sure."

Tom moved over and sat down on the edge of the bed. He moved the stethoscope under Vaughn's shirt and listened to him breathe for a minute. "K, can you take a deep breath?" Vaughn nodded and took a deep breath. "Ok, I'm going to take the oxygen off for a minute, and I want you to just breath normally. If you have trouble, I'll put it right back on, so don't worry, ok?"

Vaughn nodded and Tom took the tube off. He listened again to his breathing, which was slightly more labored, but not bad. "Deep breath now." Vaughn took a deep breath and winced. "Can we try that one more time?" Vaughn took another one and winced again. His breathing was getting more labored than before, and Tom replaced the tube. He checked the tank.

"Ok…now let's check the wounds and the bandages, you ok?" he asked Vaughn.

He nodded, and Tom looked to Sydney. "Can you help me get his shirt off? I'm sure you're better at it now than I would be since you've been doing it." Sydney moved over and gently took the sling off, and eased the shirt off of Vaughn. She praised herself for a minute that she had chosen a button-up one that morning; it was much easier to get off than the tee shirts. Once it was off, Tom checked Vaughn's splints and then moved to his shoulder. He prodded gently and moved it out slightly, which caused a yelp from Vaughn. "Sorry…" he said.

"It's ok…"

Tom then moved to take the rib wrap off and looked at Vaughn's his surgical bandages and peeled them off gently. He inspected each one, checking the stitches and for any sign of infection and then replaced them with new bandages. "Ok, I want to check the ones on your back…" He looked in Sydney's direction again, and she moved to help Vaughn sit up and then sat in front of him, helping him to stay sitting. Tom checked every bandage, being extremely thorough and then replaced those as well. "Ok, let's lay him back." Once Vaughn was reclining again, Tom said, "Ok…now the bad part…I've got to check your ribs…and it's probably going to hurt. I have to…so don't hold it against me," he said smiling.

Vaughn smiled back and Tom started to press gently on his upper chest. Vaughn didn't protest much, although Tom could tell which spots were sensitive. He was slowly making his way down to Vaughn's lower chest and abdomen, trying to prod as gently as was possible. Vaughn was trying to stay still, but he was wincing painfully. Tom watched his reactions, but needed to make sure. He tried to make his touch even gentler, but needed to put some pressure to check for any hemorrhaging. He made his way down to line of Vaughn's pants, and then stopped. Vaughn was slightly out of breath, and pain was evident on his face. Tom looked down sympathetically and said, "Sorry Mike. I know it hurt, but I have to be sure…"

"Yeah, I know…any more though, and I was going to have to ask you to stop."

"Anytime you want me to stop, you tell me, ok?"

Vaughn smiled, "Ok."

Tom moved next to Vaughn's ankle, "Can you move it?"

"Yeah, it's kind of tight, you know…as sprains are…but it's better."

"How about rotating? Try it." Vaughn complied and rotated slowly, but stopped when it hurt. "Good," said Dr. Tom. He took a flashlight out of his pocket and moved up to Vaughn's head. "Follow the light…loooook into my eyes…you are getting sleeeeppppyyyyy…sleeeeeeeppppppyyyyy…" Vaughn was laughing as he tried to follow the flashlight. "Well, as far as I can tell, you're doing quite well…accept for the head injury. You seem to have problems following the light..."

"Of course that had nothing to do with you being an ass, did it?"

"Of course not!" Tom said defensively, with a smile.

"Seriously, Mike, you're doing really well, considering where you started from here. Have you tried moving around at all?"

"You said complete bed rest doctor…" Vaughn snipped.

"Smart ass…"

"Yeah, uh…Sydney and Will help move me to the bathroom for a bath every OTHER day. I should thank you too for cutting my daily bath short…ass…anyway, and yesterday they moved me to the couch for a while, but I haven't gone anywhere on my own. I tried sitting up today by myself with some success, but it kind of hurt…a lot."

Tom smiled. "How about your endurance level."

Sydney snorted with laughter, covering her mouth and Vaughn smiled too.

"What?" asked Tom puzzled.

"Nothing…my endurance is fine…"

Tom continued to look from one occupant to the other. "I'm missing something, aren't I?"

Sydney snorted again and couldn't compose herself. She said excuse me and ran out of the room. Vaughn smiled as he watched her go.

"Ooookkkaaayyyy…Uh, I meant, are you tired?"

Vaughn laughed, "Yeah, I get really tired really easily. Moving makes me really tired. Of course, not moving makes me really crazy, so either way I lose here…"

"Ok…um, we can wait for Sydney a minute, I'll give you both directions on how to proceed then…" he stopped and studied Vaughn for a minute, "What was that all about?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing…really…inside joke…don't worry about it."

Sydney must have been almost ready to come back into the room, but she heard "inside joke" and stalked off again, and they could hear her laughing uncontrollably from the living room.


	44. The Checkup, Part 3

**Chapter 44: The Check-up, Part 3**

_"There's a fool born every minute – and every one of them lives!" – Irish Proverb _

"Time was – Time shall be – drain the glass – But where in Time is now?" – John Quincy Adams

* * *

A few minutes later, she finally had composed herself and walked back in, wiping the tears that were running down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Uh, that's ok," Tom replied. "I think that Sydney is keeping your spirits up, and that's good…um…should we go over procedure now?"

"Yeah, sure," Sydney said returning to her serious self.

"Ok, you're doing really well…both of you…I can tell this was a good move, ok? I think you belong here, Mike…So, now where do we go from here, right? K, ribs need to be wrapped yet, but I want you to start taking the wrap off more than twice a day."

"Hang on, Tom; let me get some paper, " Sydney said. She left for a second and came back with pen and paper in hand.

She started making another list as Tom talked:  
Administer pain medication as needed.  
· Ribs – remove wrap at least five times a day / do deep breathing  
· Surgical incisions – change bandages once a day until no longer needed  
· Burns/lacerations – daily but at discretion, taper as needed  
· Ankle – remove at discretion  
· Fingers – splints should stay undisturbed  
· Shoulder – immobilized

Then Tom added, "Then, starting tomorrow, I want you to start exercising. Now, I don't mean like lift weights tomorrow, this is a different kind of exercising. I want you to go slow…did you both hear me? S-L-O-W. Do NOT overdo it…it will just set you back. Pace yourself, and give yourself a break. You're probably going to be more tired as you start doing this, because you're used to bed rest now. Any physical activity is going to get you very fatigued. Don't get discouraged, it's going to happen that way. It will get better, I promise. K, here's what I want you to start doing…"

Sydney began making anther list:  
· Week Two (this week) – sitting up at least six times (crunches – set of 6) a day and standing three times all with help. Begin exercising ankle  
· Week Three – sitting up twelve times a day eight with help (crunches – set of 6 / four unaided – just sitting up and standing six times with help. Begin walking with aide. Should be able to take off ankle wrap  
· Week Four – sitting up as much as tolerable (as much unaided) and standing unaided as tolerable. Should be able to take shoulder out of sling Continue walking with aide and without as tolerable.  
· Week Five – Oxygen should be off / Begin shoulder exercises – rotating and stretching Should be able to remove finger splints – Tom will remove Walking unaided.  
· Weeks Ten – Twelve – Begin limited rib mobility (twisting, bending, etc.)  
· Weeks Twelve – Fourteen – Ribs should be healed and walking should be totally unaided. Regular mobility will increase.

Tom concluded, "Now, this is just a guide…you can use some liberty when deciding when you want to start something new, but really, don't push yourself too much. You'll only wind up hurting yourself more. And obviously, don't start like Week 12 steps in Week 2, ok?" He stopped a minute and talked to himself, "K, we did check-up, meds, bandages, exercise…yeah…that should do it…" then resumed talking directly to the couple. "Ok, so I think we've got everything…We'll continue this check-up stuff for a while…I'll be back a week from now. I've brought more supplies, so I think you should be good with those…" There was a momentary silence while Tom rechecked mentally that he had done everything he needed to.

Tom was just about to start talking once again when the three were startled by a commotion that sounded like it was coming from the front door. There seem to be muffled shouts and then the door opened almost violently and Francie could be heard yelling at Will. "I told you not to take that road! If you just would have listened to me, we would have been here an hour ago! You never listen…you are such a GUY!" Francie finished, with a shout of exasperation.

Will was starting to protest and said, "Sydney! I need your help! Francie is be–" he cut himself off when he saw Tom in the room and his eyes went wide in fear and embarrassment. "Francie is being wonderful as usual, aren't you honey…" Will said to her from the door.

Francie marched to the doorframe and replied, "Don't you 'honey' me, Will…Yeah, Syd, stupid Will here, pretty much got us–" she stopped dead in her tracks as well when she too saw Tom in the room. "Will got us…some…thing…nice…he's such a wonderful boyfriend," she said as she put her arms around his waist.

Will added, "Yeah, there's a lot of love in this house…lots of love…oh, and support…we're great supporters, aren't we honey."

"Great supporters," Francie affirmed with a really fake smile.

Will moved into the room, "You must be the doctor, I'm Will Tippin, Francie's boyfriend and Sydney and Michael's really, really good friend."

"And I'm Francie Calfo. Sydney and I have known each other for years. We just love the two of them!"

Tom had all to do not to laugh, but decided to really scare the shit out of them. "I'm sorry, you live here?"

Francie piped up, "I live here, and Will practically does."

"I see…and do you normally make this much noise in the house when a direly injured man is resting? I don't think that's very supportive…"

Will paled and Francie frantically searched for something to say.

Will finally offered, "I assure you doctor, we aren't normally this loud. We meant to be here earlier, we…just…had a slight delay…we weren't thinking…I'm very sorry." He looked over at Vaughn and Sydney who were about to lose it and said, "Really guys, we're sorry…they'll tell you, we're really very calm and usually very quiet."

"I'm not sure this is the best environment for Mr. Vaughn…" Tom added just to really scare them.

Francie looked desperately at Tom, "No, doctor, please, we'll stay at Will's place if that's what you want, we don't want to make this any more difficult for Michael or Sydney. Really though, this was an isolated incident." She looked at him imploringly.

He cracked a smile and Sydney and Vaughn burst out laughing. Vaughn grabbed his side because he was laughing so hard. Sydney looked down at him in concern, but he waved her off. "I'm ok…just dying here…but ok…that was classic Tom…man, the look on your faces…"

Will and Francie stood there dumbfounded; mouths open, looking at the three in front of them.

Will finally gained enough self-control to close his mouth and say, "I can't believe you just did that…it was so mean! You totally had us going. So, you're not going to make Vaughn go back to the hospital or make us leave?"

"Of course not," Tom said laughing.

"Thank God," Francie said and then whacked Will.

"OW! What the hell?"

"If you hadn't wasted time on the WRONG road, we wouldn't have been subjected to this! It's all your fault!"

"All my fault? If you had gotten out of the restaurant at a reasonable time, I wouldn't have used the other road!"

Sydney was smiling, but said, "GUYS? Please? We're almost done here…then you can bicker…"

They stopped and both said, "Sorry."

Tom looked between Vaughn and Sydney, "Well, I see your support group has widened…that's good." He smiled. "Well, I'll leave you to Sydney and your support group now. I think you're making excellent progress, just remember not to overdo it too much and don't get upset when you get tired, alright Michael?"

"Yeah, ok Tom…"

"I want you to repeat after me…I will not get mad at myself when I get tired…"

Vaughn looked at him.

"Repeat!"

Vaughn acquiesced, "I will not get mad at myself when I get tired…"

"And I will not push myself too hard…"

"And I will not push myself too hard…"

"Good…there, I feel better, how about all of you?"

Sydney smiled and Will and Francie said "Yeah" wearily, they were still recovering from their scare.

"Ok, well, I'll be in touch, I'll see you in a week, take care of yourself – both of you…and call if you need anything."

"Ok Tom, thanks a lot…" Sydney said.

Vaughn added, "Really Tom, thanks…for the presents too…"

"You got it buddy…see ya!" Tom smiled and let himself out.

Once he was gone Francie was standing with her arms crossed looking menacingly at the couple.

"What?" Sydney said. "You totally fell for it!" She and Vaughn broke out into giggles.

"That was so not funny! I totally thought we like screwed up the whole thing."

"Well, that'll teach you guys!" Sydney added.

Will started laughing, and Francie couldn't hold out either. She started laughing as the whole room joked about the incident.


	45. Support

**Chapter 45: Support**

_"The day is done, and the darkness  
Falls from the wings of Night,  
As a feather is wafted downward  
Form an eagle in his flight." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow _

"Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him in hunger, and you seek him in peace. – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)

* * *

After the group was done with reliving their trick incident, and after a healthy dose of teasing from Vaughn and Sydney, the group was ready to settle down for the night.

Sydney was sitting next to Vaughn on the bed, and Will and Francie were sharing a comfortable chair across from the bed.

Will asked, "So, you mean people want to do dinner and a movie again tonight, or something else? Or should we go to my place and leave you in peace?"

Sydney smiled, "No, you guys are welcome to stay. What do you want to do honey?" Sydney asked Vaughn, leaving the decision up to him.

He smiled knowing exactly what she was doing, "Dinner and a movie sounds great."

Will pushed Francie off of his lap and she said, "Hey! Don't think I've forgive you for the road mishap mister."

He shook his head at Sydney and Vaughn, "Come on! Let's go make dinner, can't we just forget about it?" he asked.

The two could be heard as they went down the hall and they heard Francie say, "Yeah, right…I'm never letting you forget it…"

Sydney smiled at Vaughn and leaned down to kiss him. She lingered after the kiss, playing with his hair.

He smiled up at her.

"Didn't I tell you it would be alright?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, you did, you were correct…as always."

"See, that's what Will needs to learn…agreeability – always agree with the woman."

"Of course," he said.

"Right where you belong," she muttered as she placed her head on his chest and her hand on his heart.

Sydney and Vaughn relaxed on the bed while Francie and Will made dinner. They talked quietly and listened to the other couple talk and bicker, but it was a bickering of love, and when Will came to retrieve them for dinner, both could tell that all had been resolved.

"You too enthusiasts ready to eat?" he asked.

Sydney smiled, "Yeah, we're ready…" Will came over to the bed and helped Sydney get Vaughn out to the living room. They placed him on the couch again, reclining and Sydney sat on the edge. Will and Francie once again sat on the floor in front of the couple and they had another enjoyable dinner. Will and Francie insisted once again on cleaning up and Sydney and Vaughn relaxed on the couch. Sydney moved behind Vaughn so she was holding him in a loose embrace and she started playing with his hair. She laughed as she could make it look completely unruly, yet completely natural and sexy. They spoke softly as they watched, mesmerized by the dance of the flames in the fireplace. Vaughn yawned and Sydney looked down at him with love in her eyes.

"You tired baby?" she asked.

"Yeah…" he replied.

She moved down his head, until she was playing with the soft hairs at the bottom of his hairline. She watched happily as his eyelids started to flutter and his breath became slower and deeper. The crackle of the fire and Sydney's hands playing with his hair, eased him into a comfortable sleep. She could hear Francie and Will still in the kitchen and wanted to make sure they didn't wake him. She tried to be as quiet as she could and said in just above a whisper, "Will?" She got no response, so she said it again at the same volume, but a little more demanding, "Will!" He poked his head out curiously, eyebrows turning in a downward motion.

"Syd? Did you call me?"

"Shh!" she said.

"Sorry, " he whispered. "What's up?"

She motioned to Vaughn sleeping in her arms. "He fell asleep…I don't want to wake him up. I think we'll have to wait on the movie."

"That's fine…do you want me to help you move him?"

"Uh, I don't think so, I think he'd wake up and we might hurt him if we tried to move him without him being awake."

"Ok…Fran and I will just park it in her room, she's got a TV, and I'm sure we can find something to occupy our time."

"I'm sure you can," she said.

"I'll go tell her."

"Ok."

Will went back to the kitchen and she could hear them whispering. She went back to playing with Vaughn's hair and listening to his sleep-breathing. Sydney yawned herself but smiled when Francie came out of the kitchen. Francie took a look at Vaughn and whispered, "Is he going to be ok sleeping out here?"

"I think he should be…I'll move him in a little while once I'm sure he's sleeping soundly."

"Move him? By yourself?"

"No, I mean move him on the couch, I'll make him more comfortable right here…"

"He looks pretty comfortable right now Syd. He looks really peaceful…and awfully cute…Damn!" she smiled.

Sydney brushed her hand through his hair, "Yeah, he's a sweetie…he does look cute, doesn't he?" she said.

Francie smiled wider, "Yeah…he really does…he looks about eight…"

"I was thinking nine…" she smiled.

"Let us know if you need anything…you want another blanket?"

"Sure, thanks…"

Francie exited and came back in a minute with a fluffy blanket and a few extra pillows. "Just in case," she said as she winked at Sydney. "Just call if there's anything else."

"Ok, thanks Fran."

"You bet, Good night."

Will popped his head out again and joined his girlfriend, "G'night Syd."

"Good night Will. Thanks for all your help."

"Sure," he said smiling.

Will and Francie went off down the hall, and Sydney watched the fire dance for her for a few more minutes. She looked down at Vaughn, and he was resting peacefully. Once she was satisfied that he was in a deep sleep, she inched her way out from under him and went to the bedroom to find her pajamas. She came back with hers on and Vaughn's in her hand. She eased him into a sitting position and thanked herself once again for putting him in a button-up shirt. She took the pajama shirt out (also button-up, she noted) and got him into that. Then she removed his pants and left him in his boxers for bed.

She went to the bathroom, discarded the clothes, brushed her teeth and came back to him. He hadn't stirred, so she knew he was comfortable. She carefully moved him down so he was laying more on the couch than reclining, checked his oxygen and then lay down with him on the couch. His arm automatically moved to encase her in his grip and she nuzzled close to him while she held on to him as well. It didn't take her long before she was dozing, and before she knew it, the fire and Vaughn's warm body lulled her to sleep as well.


	46. The Couch Debate

**Chapter 46: The Couch Debate**

_"Do all the good you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can." – John Wesley _

"I arise from dreams of thee / In the first sweet sleep of night/ When the winds are breathing low/ And the stars are shining bright." – Percy Shelley

* * *

Vaughn woke to find himself in unfamiliar surroundings. A light glow was emanating to his right, but his view was blocked. He was in semi-darkness, but he couldn't really see anything yet; his eyes hadn't adjusted. He was taken with a wave of panic, thinking maybe he was dreaming, then dreading for a second that all he thought had transpired may have been the dream and he was still on that hard, cement floor. The slightly stirring body next to him, however, shattered any dread he carried. Sydney was with him, she was by his side, and he knew everything was all right. He tried to figure out what exactly he was doing here, until he realized that he was on the couch. Must have fallen asleep, he thought. He tried to clear out the cobwebs of his brain, and then remembered dinner, and a movie, but he didn't remember the movie – must have fallen asleep before the movie. And Sydney didn't want to move me, so she slept here with me instead. He was moved with emotion for the woman at his side. He marveled at all she could accomplish and all she did, and that she chose to be with him. He couldn't remember if he'd been dreaming, but if he had been, it hadn't been a nightmare, because he woke up calm and collected. He glanced over Sydney towards the fire, and noticed that it was still crackling. He mustn't have slept too long; otherwise the fire would be much lower.

The flames transfixed him for a few minutes again; he wasn't really tired anymore, but was content to just lay with Sydney and be entertained by the flickering of the fire. He was strangely comfortable on the couch as well, it didn't seem to be this big or this comfortable any other time he'd been an occupant of it, but then again, Sydney wasn't sleeping with him those other times.

He was watching the flames again, after studying Sydney's sleeping form for several minutes. The fire…he remembered fire…burns…hmm…his thoughts suddenly took a turn towards the negative. He tried to push those out of his mind, but found that no matter where he tried to transfix his gaze, it always seemed to end up on the flames…and pain…

He didn't want to disturb Sydney, but slowly, shadows began creeping in on him. He tried closing his eyes, but that was a really bad idea, because all he saw was torture and all he felt was agony. When he opened his eyes, the flames burned him. Even though they were over 8 feet away from the couch, they burned him. He shuddered under the blanket and huddled closer to Sydney, burrowing his head in her shoulder. She stirred slightly, and he backed off, not really wanting to invade her probably wonderful dreams with his flames, but she slowly opened her eyes and yawned at him. She smiled and was about to say something, but she caught a glimpse of his face in the firelight and knew that something was wrong. She shifted so she was holding onto him, "What's the matter Vaughn?"

"N-Nothing," he said.

"Hmm…yeah…remember when we had our whole talk about communication? You need to exercise that right now. Don't lie to me, I know you're scared of something."

"Fire…"

"You're scared of the fire?" Sydney asked confused.

He nodded and closed his eyes, which was a bad idea again, and he opened them quickly before covering his eyes with his hand.

She reached up and moved the hand away and forced him to look into her eyes. There was fire there too, but a different kind, a pleading kind, a gentle fire, asking, urging him to tell her what was wrong.

He shivered and she moved closer, moving her body closer to give him warmth.

"I don't know what the hell is the matter with me," he said rather abruptly. So abrupt that Sydney almost jumped, but she refrained knowing this would only make him feel bad.

"What do you mean?"

"Jesus Christ, I mean, I'm fine, I wake up, you're here, everything's fine. I'm fine…there's nothing wrong and then I'm looking at the fire – I mean it's a goddamn fireplace, it's not evil…but all I can see is Sloane, all I can hear is myself screaming, and all I can feel is pain."

She was surprised at his candor, but was grateful for his truthfulness. "Vaughn, there isn't anything wrong with you. I'm sorry, you know, I never really thought of that – I maybe shouldn't have started the fire…"

"It's a fire Sydney, not Sloane, and I know that…my mind knows that, my heart knows that…but it's like it doesn't matter. Once the thought is there, I can't get it to go away, and every time I look over there," he pointed in the direction of the fire, "I just can't stop myself…and it's bad, really bad…I mean, I can't go around the rest of my life seeing Sloane and thinking about torture when I see a match or something!"

"Vaughn, give yourself a break…come on…it hasn't been that long…things are going to stick with you and things are going to trigger memories. Every time I see a grasshopper, I think of that dumb joke we both knew," Sydney said and then realized the stupidity of that remark. She backpedaled quickly before he could respond, "Now, hang on, that's not exactly how I meant that to come out. I didn't mean to make it sound as though your trigger was as stupid as the joke or anything…it was just an example, a really bad example…"

Vaughn was smiling at her, "It was kind of funny…"

"The joke isn't funny," she said in reply.

"Well, no…I understand what you're saying though…I know…I just gotta cool it…"

"How long were you awake? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I don't want you to have to live in the 'afraid of fire' world, Sydney. Now every time YOU see fire, you'll think of that."

"How do you know I don't already? Stop worrying, and I don't want you going through this stuff alone…" she moved his face so he was looking into her eyes again, "Did you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Good…wake me up!"

"Ok!"

"Ok…" She kissed him and looked over to the fire. "What will help you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want to make a new memory of fire?"

"I'm lost Sydney…"

"Well…" she said, "maybe if we make a new memory for you, it'll help replace the bad one…you know, so that even if you think of the bad stuff, you can remember the good and then the bad – it won't be so bad…like 'it's just Tom.'"

He smiled, "New memory, huh?"

"Yeah."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I might be able to come up with something." She said as she gripped him through his boxers.

"How did you get me undressed without waking me up?" he asked suddenly.

"I'm very talented," she replied as she stroked him, reaching her hand inside the opening of the material.

"Mmm…very…" he groaned.

She pulled him out through his boxers and moved down his body, pumping him the whole way down. When she reached his penis, she licked the tip, and ran her tongue all over the head. When she was done, she moved back to the tip, and sucked the pre-cum off of him. She cradled his balls with her right hand, while taking position at the base of his cock with her left. She began to work in unison, massaging his balls, stroking up and down from base to the head, and sucking on the tip all at the same time. His hips were bucking upward already and she kept up the motion until his legs started to shake. Then, she slowed down and let the tip of his penis slip out of her mouth with a soft 'pop.'

He groaned at the loss and looked down at her with smoldering eyes. She sat up between his legs, and moved, peeling his boxers off of him. Then she helped him sit up and removed the shirt as well. She laid him back down and stood up, his eyes followed her with interest. She stood before him, illuminated by the light of the fire, and slowly peeled her shirt off. He watched as the silky material slid from her slender shoulders and dropped soundlessly to the floor. She reached her hands to the waistband of the pajama bottoms and swayed her hips from side to side as she slowly moved the pants down. She eased out of them, as he watched her saunter over to him. Her eyes never left his; save for a quick glance she made at his straining cock. She moved slowly, swinging her hips again, her breasts swayed with the motion of her hips as she walked over to the couch. She moved to sit on his stomach and brought her breasts down to his mouth. He eagerly sucked on them, and she felt a rush of heat and moisture at her center. He nibbled and twisted the nipples with his good hand and felt his cock enlarge even more when he felt her wetness coat his stomach.

She was moaning as he licked and suckled her nipples, kneading her breasts as she rocked slowly on his stomach. She moved away, down his body further and reached for his throbbing cock. She stroked him a few times and then led him to her core. Her wetness coated the head as the first inch of him entered her. He bucked his hips gently and another inch sunk in. She watched with interest as he bucked his way inside her. Once he was fully sheathed inside her, she smiled at him and made slow, circular movements with her hips. His hips began to move with her in circles and then she drove him crazy by changing directions. Just when he'd work up a rhythm clockwise, she'd change the motion to counter-clockwise. His cock was throbbing inside her and she knew if she kept up her circles, he'd come in no time. She changed course, shifting her weight and making him move with her, in and out, in and out. Then once he was working that rhythm, she changed again and moved in a circle.

"God Sydney, you're driving me insane."

"I know…" she smiled at him playfully and did it again.

His hips were making more erratic thrusts, and she knew he was close, but decided to tease him a little and then help him more.

"Vaughn?" she asked.

"Yeah?" he said breathily.

"Are you gonna come?" she asked innocently, but her powerful squeeze of her inner muscles was not innocent.

"Oh, God, yes, Sydney…soon…"

"Good…" she said as she stopped moving entirely.

"Wha?"

"Relax…look at the fire…"

He glanced over and his face changed slightly.

"Keep looking…" she instructed as she started her movements again.

"Mmm…" he said as he looked back at her.

"No, look at the fire Vaughn."

"But I want to look at you, I don't want to think about the fire."

"I want you to look at the fire, Michael."

Oh God, he knew he was gone when she called him Michael. He looked over at the fire, but there weren't any shadows anymore. It wasn't dark in the room; it was warm and cozy. Sydney kept her movements up, watching him, knowing that her plan was working. His eyes closed briefly and when he opened them, he looked over at her.

"Look at–"

"I will…" he said, cutting her off. He pulled her down to him, and kissed her fiercely, because he finally knew what she had planned, he understood.

He looked back at the fire, and watched as the flames flickered, two smaller flames became one flame, merging totally, melding into one entity. The fire wasn't scary; it was love. The warm colors played off the couple, and Sydney felt a warmth as Vaughn spasmed and ejaculated his seed deep inside her. She came with him, making him turn his head to look at her when he came. The light made Sydney look like an angel, just like the light had done the previous night. She was his angel. She stayed on him after he came, the fire in the fireplace reduced to smoldering embers as the two came down from their blissful precipice.


	47. The Visitors

**Chapter 47: The Visitors**

_"And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)_

When Sydney woke the next morning, the first thing she saw when her eyes opened were the ashes from last night's fire. The

* * *

fire was out, silenced, and she thought it was a fitting end to the whole scene from the previous night. She was still laying on Vaughn, and could feel him inside her. She looked up at him, smiling; he was still sleeping. She eased herself off of him, but stayed lying prone on top of his sleeping form. She looked around the house, wondering if Francie and Will had left, or if they were just somewhere being extremely quiet. Her guesses were answered by the opening of Francie's bedroom door; as Will bounded out, hair disheveled, mouth open wide in a yawn. His bare feet slapped against the tile floor as he made his way to the bathroom. When he emerged, he risked a glance over at the couch, and Sydney smiled at him. He quietly padded over towards the couch, scratching his head as he walked.

"Hey," he said in a whisper.

"Good morning," Sydney answered with her own yawn.

"So you made it out here all night, huh?"

"Yes, we did," Sydney said, realizing suddenly that had it not been for the blanket that was covering her and Vaughn, she would be giving Will quite a show. She blushed and Will looked at her strangely. She smiled, but didn't make any motion to answer his curiosity.

He seemed to slowly figure it out however, and shifted nervously on his feet.

Sydney finally said, "Fran still here?"

"Nope," he answered. "She left really early...she had some stuff to take care of; we left in kind of a rush you know yesterday. It's still really early anyway," Will finished, gesturing to the window.

Sydney looked over and realized that the sun was just beginning to come up. "Oh, I thought it was later, what time is it exactly?"

"About 6:30..."

"And Francie left already?"

"Yeah..."

"Hmm…so who's gonna make breakfast today?" Sydney asked with a hinting in her tone.

"Hmm…I wonder...you want Will's wonderful pancakes?"

"Yes!" Sydney said a little too excitedly. Vaughn stirred and his eyes opened slightly. He yawned and gripped Sydney tighter. Gradually, he came out of his sleepy stupor and smiled up at the already smiling Sydney.

"Hey," he said throatily.

"Hey yourself. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"S'alright. May I ask why you moved?"

Sydney suddenly remembered that Will was standing right next to them. She looked up and Vaughn followed her gaze. He smiled at Will. "Oh...morning Will," he said as he too realized their combined state of undress.

"Morning Michael," Will said obliviously, "You want pancakes too? Sydney's hinting that I'm supposed to make breakfast because Francie left already."

"Sure Will, that'd be great."

"Ok…"

Once Will had left to go back to the kitchen, Sydney looked back down at Vaughn.

He looked up at her with a gleam in his eyes, "Well?" he asked.

"Well what?" she replied.

"Why did you move?"

"I didn't know what time it was, I didn't want Will and Francie to catch us in a compromising position, but Will did anyway, although I really don't think he figured it out…"

"No, I don't think he did."

"I'm glad he's gone, so I can go get us some clothes…stay here, I'll be right back…" She bolted to her bedroom, taking one of the blankets with her, covering her naked body.

Will poked his head into the living room, and looked to Vaughn. Vaughn shrugged his shoulder and Will shook his head and went back to the kitchen. Sydney came back out dressed, with clothes under her arm for Vaughn.

She approached the couch, and got a pair of boxers on him. At least if Will came in, he might not suspect she thought. Will didn't come back in though, and she had ample time to help Vaughn dress, thankfully so she didn't need to rush him.

Once he was fully clothed, she looked at the dead fire and then back to him. "Vaughn?"

"Yeah?"

"I thought about something when I first woke up."

"What was that?"

"The first thing I saw when I woke was the fire…the fire that had gone out, and maybe I'm reading way too much into this, but I thought it was kind of a fitting metaphor."

"How so?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Well…last night, the fire was in full blaze – like your torture, then, when we were making love, I think it changed into something else for you…am I right?"

"Yeah…I have something nice to think about now instead."

"Right, and every fire dies Michael…you're memories of your torture are going to go away or at least lessen. In the end, all that'll be left of them is embers…embers of the pain, embers of the terrible memories."

He smiled at her, "That's awfully philosophical for this early in the morning Syd," he joked, but his tone was loving.

She smiled bashfully, "I know…"

"You're right though…thank you…for giving me another wonderful memory to replace a bad one."

"You're welcome."

The two were just beginning to kiss when Will interrupted with a clear of this throat.

"Uh, sorry guys, but the pancakes are ready."

"Ok, Will…"

He brought in three plates with several pancakes on them, and another one with extras. Sydney got up to help him bring in syrup and juice and she also grabbed Vaughn's pain medication as well.

They had a quiet breakfast, but enjoyable. When they were finished, Will cleaned up and then came back into the living room to the lounging couple.

"You want me to help you get to the bedroom before I leave guys?"

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "You wanna go back to the bedroom, or you want to try to park it out here today."

"I think I'll try out here, change of scenery."

"Ok…I think you're off the hook Will."

"Alright, good luck today, I'll see you guys after work." He grabbed his jacket and took off out the front door.

Once Will had left, Sydney looked down at Vaughn. It was almost 8:00. "You wanna start your exercises for the day, Mr. Vaughn?"

He groaned, "Ok," he grumbled.

"K…let's see…let's start with our old stand-by: the deep breathing exercises!"

She moved over and took off the rib wrap and let him do his thing. She ran to the kitchen and put a piece of paper on the refrigerator with a magnet. The piece of paper said "Breathing" on the top. Sydney also had listed the next two weeks' dates on the sheet. Then she made one hash mark next to today's date.

She came back into the living room just as he was finishing. She moved again to change his bandages, easing him into a sitting position.

"Does that count as sitting up once?" he asked cheekily.

"No, Vaughn, it doesn't," she said sternly.

"Humpf…" he said.

She finished with the bandages, replaced the wrap and stood in front of him.

"What now?" he asked.

"Now, we can either exercise your ankle or we can do the sitting up crunches…you're choice."

"Let's do the ankle," he chose.

She moved down to his ankle and elevated the leg with her hand. "Ok, rotate please."

He attempted whilst wincing, which she sympathized with, but she knew he had to do it, so she didn't say anything. After a few minutes, she said, "Ok, that should be good for now."

He looked extremely relieved.

"Let's do the crunches…"

"Sydney that's totally gonna suck. I'm gonna be in pain the minute I move."

"I know…but we have to…I wouldn't make you do it if we didn't have to." She looked at the sheet of instructions that Tom had left. "Ok, you have to lay down first, then I sit on your legs and help pull you into a sitting position. We do one, hold if for a count of three and then you lay back down and rest for a minute…ready?"

"No." he stated flatly.

She smiled compassionately, but moved the pillows and lay him down on the couch. She sat on his legs, and grabbed his right hand. She stopped, "Hmm…yeah, the sheet is for people with the use of two hands…I wonder what we do with someone with the use of only one?"

He looked at her as if to say 'I told you so.' She continued to sit on his legs, looking at the sheet and obviously deep in thought. He swore he could actually see the wheels turning up there as he watched her in amusement. She got off of his legs, grabbed the phone and dialed what was now Speed Dial #6 – Tom Barker. It rang twice, "Dr. Tom…"

"Yeah, it's me…"

"Hey Syd, what's up?"

"I put you on speed dial…"

"That's nice…is that all you called to tell me?"

"No…sorry, uh…Vaughn and I were going to start the sitting up stuff, but I'm a little puzzled as to how to carry it out."

"Ok, well…just sit on his legs so he can't use them to move and then pull him up into a sitting position, hold it and then let him back down…"

"Yep, it's the getting him up to the sitting position that's got me puzzled."

"How so?"

"Well…I'm supposed to pull him up with my hands…pull his hands…"

"Right."

"Yeah…how?"

"I'm not following, just grab his hands and pull him up…just take each of his…" there was silence. "Oh…OH! Sorry…I wasn't thinking…right…only one hand for now…hmm…well, we can modify…one hand won't give either one of you enough power to pull him up. Let me think a minute." There was silence again.

Sydney waited patiently. A full minute passed. She started to wonder if she had lost him, "Tom?"

"Yeah, still here, just thinking…I was thinking you could pull him up by the shoulders, but you'd have to sit up farther, and that would do no good for his muscles, plus there's the whole shoulder problem…can I call you back?"

"Sure…"

"K, I'll figure something out and then I'll call you right back."


	48. The Visitors, Part 2

**Chapter 48: The Visitors, Part 2**

_"You might be a redneck if you've been too drunk to fish." -- Jeff Foxworthy _

"Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted." – John Lennon

* * *

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "Well, that went well…I left him completely stumped."

Vaughn chuckled, "Good…"

She picked up the pillows and put them behind Vaughn, elevating him again, knowing he would be more comfortable that way. She was quite busy pampering, fussing because she couldn't get the pillow to stay where she wanted it. He was smiling at her fussiness.

"Sydney?"

"Yeah?"

"A thought just occurred to me…"

Sydney sat down, thinking that it was something bad…something involving torture. "What's that?" she asked tentatively.

"How have you and how are you going to stay with me for an indefinite amount of time with the CIA being ok with it? I mean, Tom mentioned something to me that the CIA had covered most of my medical expenses because they deemed this incident a work-related injury. And short-term disability was started from day one for me, but how are they letting you off? You can't have that much vacation or PTO can you? I want to help…if I'm gonna be living here for now…"

She let out the breath she'd been holding, thankful that he hadn't been thinking about what was done to him, and also smiling because he was concerned about her money situation. Her hand cupped his cheek. "Vaughn…you are so sweet. I don't need money, you don't need to like pay rent or something. You're covered with the short-term disability, and I'm on an extended leave of absence. My dad worked it out with Kendall, dad probably threatened to leak some big secret or something, but I'm in the clear for as long as you need me, and I still get a paycheck – it's like family leave…which normally isn't paid unless an agent dies in the field – then the family gets money monthly."

"Yeah, I know…"

She winced inwardly, stupidly forgetting that Vaughn had probably been through this already when his father was killed.

"It's like a pension…"

"Right…so I get that anyway…we're good…no need to worry…plus, my dad and I already discussed maybe doing some work at home later when you're better…who knows, maybe you can do some too…"

"Good…yeah…that'd be nice…" Vaughn said happily, his mind eased.

Sydney was just about to suggest that they watch TV or a movie until Tom called back, when the doorbell rang. She looked to Vaughn, as if asking him if he knew whom it was. "Don't look at me," he said. "I didn't invite anyone over."

She smiled as she got up and went to the door. She opened the door slightly and Eric smiled at her through the crack.

"Morning!" he said cheerily.

"Oh God! Help us all…" she said as she moved and allowed him to enter. He was carrying a box with him, filled with contents she knew she probably didn't want to see.

"Vaughn, the dog watcher's here."

She could here Vaughn laughing from the couch.

Eric turned to her, "That hurts Syd…really…" She knew from the smile on his face though, that it really didn't.

He moved past her and went into the living room where Vaughn way lying on the couch.

"Hey Mikey! How're you feelin? I brought some stuff to cheer you up…" he smiled at Vaughn.

Vaughn rolled his eyes and looked to Sydney.

"I'm getting out of here before he even takes one item out of that box…" She kissed Vaughn and disappeared into the bedroom.

Eric smiled widely at him, looking very pleased with himself, "See…just gotta know what to say…and then the boys can play," he winked at Vaughn.

"Oh God Eric…it's no wonder women run from you on sight…"

"Hey…that hurts…don't think just cause you got a few bruises that I won't kick your ass, alright? You want to see what I got or not?" He smiled at Vaughn.

"Yeah, let's see whatcha got Eric."

"Ok, that's what I like to hear!" He dove into the box.

Sydney busied herself changing the bed linens and straightening the bedroom up. It had gotten quite cluttered over the last few days, when she'd throw stuff wherever it happened to land. Once she was finished, she was left with a strange feeling. She had no idea what to do…Vaughn didn't need her at the moment, and the boys were occupied…hmm…she thought…what on earth to do with herself! She smiled and went into the bathroom. She ran the water, added bubbles, and waited until the tub was full. She eased herself down into the bath. Ahhh…she thought…She relaxed in the tub for about a half hour, then got out and got ready again for the day. She came out of the bedroom to see that Eric had popped in a hockey tape and he and Vaughn were currently arguing over some call the referee had made. She smiled as she watched them from the hallway for a few minutes, it was like the old Vaughn…just chillin' with Eric.

"He did not just call a penalty on #12!" Eric said.

"He totally checked 25, what're you blind? Excellent call."

"Excellent my ass, he obviously has it out for my boys."

"Your boys suck Eric, otherwise they wouldn't have to resort to checking."

"Watch it mister, I can still kick your ass!"

"Yeah, even in my weakened state Eric, you couldn't touch me."

Eric looked over at him, "Wanna bet?"

Sydney stepped out form the hallway, "My money's on Vaughn."

He smiled delighted that Sydney had chosen that moment to enter. "Thank you Sydney," he said.

"You can't be serious Syd…I could totally kick his ass…"

"You and what army Eric?" she challenged.

"Ok, ganging up on me…not fun…don't like you guys anymore," he said as he pouted and looked back at the screen.

Sydney leaned down and kissed Vaughn. She said in a hushed tone so Eric couldn't hear, even though the TV was probably loud enough to drown it out anyway, plus he kept yelling at the screen. "Is it ok if I go to the store, pick up a few things and leave you with Eric?"

He smiled at her, "Sure, go ahead…"

"K, you're sure?"

"Yeah, Syd. I can take care of myself for a few hours."

Eric piped up, "Don't worry mom, I'll baby-sit Mikey for you while you're out. Will you bring me a toy though?"

Sydney smacked him on the top of the head, "Ow!"

"I'm sure you're mother would have done that too, Eric," she said as she kissed Vaughn again. "I'll bring you a present though." Vaughn smiled.

"How come I don't get a present?" Eric asked exasperatedly.

"Because you haven't been a good boy…"

"But mom…" he whined.

She turned serious for a minute, "Eric, I have my phone if you need to call for anything. If he has a muscle spasm, the morphine is in the bedroom on the nightstand. Only give him one shot. He's good otherwise. If Tom calls, tell him I can call him back or he can give directions to Vaughn, K?"

Eric looked at her seriously, "I've got it covered, Syd. Have fun."

"And Eric?"

"Yeah?"

"NO beer, NO corn nuts, NO junk food, NO porn…"

"Aw Syd, you just totally threw out like 98 of the box of goodies here."

"I know!" she said.

"Vaughn, honey, I trust that you'll be a good boy and not let Eric pressure you into delving into the abyss of muck where Eric resides."

"I promise, I'll be good," he said as he held up a familiar gesture, "Scout's honor…Bye Syd," Vaughn said.

"Bye sweetie, see you in a bit…Eric you hurt him and I'll kill you…I'm gonna take the dog for a quick walk before I go…I swear if Will didn't walk him, he'd probably be as fat as he was when Eric brought him over…" She said in passing as she blew Vaughn a kiss and walked out.

Eric turned to Vaughn, "Hmm…no confidence in me…your girlfriend's kinda bossy…"

"That's what I like and you need all the bossing you can get Eric," Vaughn said smiling.

Once outside, she stopped and leaned on the door, Donovan looking at her curiously. That was harder than she though it would be. She just left Vaughn alone with Eric. It wasn't that she didn't trust Eric, she was sure everything would be fine, but it was the first time she had left Vaughn alone in over two weeks. It felt strange not to either take him with her or just not go. The sun was shining, and it was a beautiful day outside. She decided she would try to stop worrying. Vaughn was an adult, he would be ok…she walked Donovan around the neighborhood and then she got in the car, dog in tow, and drove off.

Vaughn actually had to admit, it was nice just to chill with Eric. He loved Sydney, and he seriously didn't know what he would do without her. The thought of her leaving him terrified him, but he also knew it was something they both needed to do. Eric had just put in a Kings game that he had missed, and was coming back to sit down.

"Eric?"

"Yeah Mike," Eric looked at him.

"Thanks…"

"For what?"

"Coming over…"

"Sure…"

"Sydney needed to get away…so thanks for that too…"

"What do you mean?"

"She hasn't gone anywhere in over two weeks…"

"Neither have you…"

"Yeah…but it's different, so thanks for staying so she could go for a while…"

"Sure…you bet…I missed you…" Eric added while he turned back to the TV as the game popped up on screen.

Vaughn looked at Eric's profile, he had just admitted an actual feeling, which wasn't something he did very often, and especially not between guy friends. He smiled, "I missed you too…"

Eric looked back at Vaughn and returned the smile. "I was really worried that I wouldn't ever see you again…I thought they'd kill you before we ever got near you…"

"Me too…"

"Really?"

"Yeah," Vaughn said truthfully.

"Can I ask you something Mike?"

"Sure…"

"You don't have to answer it if you don't want to, but…what was it like?"

"The torture?"

"Yeah."

Vaughn thought a minute, "I don't know how to describe it to you…it was awful…horrible…just about any bad word you can come up with…think about it, and then multiply it like a hundred times."

"Really?" Eric asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Vaughn replied in a soft tone.

Eric didn't care for the way that Vaughn's eyes seemed to distance themselves, and he thought for a moment that he had really screwed up, but Vaughn looked back at him, and the look dissipated.

"You ok?" Eric asked.

"Yeah…I'm alright…I'd be insane without Sydney…"

"She's great Vaughn."

"I know…I'd be insane without you too…"

"Nah, you'd be fine."

"No Eric, I mean it. You took Donovan, you're here…you're a great friend…my best actually."

Eric was slightly chocked up and kept his eyes fixed on the screen for a few minutes. Neither one of them really had any clue what was taking place on the ice. Eric finally looked back at Vaughn. He grabbed Vaughn's hand in a fist hug and squeezed gently. No more words were needed between the two.

They both returned to the game, and tried to decipher what was happening.

"Did you see that?" Eric asked in an irate tone.

"Yeah, what the hell was that…No, no, no! Damn…is this the one they lost?"

"I can't remember, I wasn't really into them when I taped them…I had other things on my mind," Eric offered as he looked to Vaughn again. Vaughn smiled back.

"Hey Eric?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you do this again?"

"Of course…should we make it a weekly thing?"

"I'd like that."

"Ok, that settles it…" they watched in relative silence for a few more minutes before Eric asked, "You want a beer?"

Vaughn smiled, "Nope…"

"Right…gotta be good Eric, gotta be good…you want a Coke?"

"Nope…"

"Hmm…" Eric thought a moment, "You want some juice?"

"Sure…"

"Okay! HA! I got one! Be right back," he got up and bounded to the kitchen and came back with two full glasses of orange juice. He handed one to Vaughn and sipped the other one himself.

Vaughn smiled, "You can have a beer Eric…it won't bother me…"

"Nah…I'm good…" Eric smiled back at Vaughn and took another sip of the juice.


	49. The Visitors, Part 3

**PN: Sorry for the wait, enjoy!**

**Chapter 49: The Visitors, Part 3 **

_"Friendship! mysterious cement of the soul! Sweetener of life! and solder of society!" – Robert Blair _

"The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends." – Cicero

"The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

* * *

Sydney pulled into her driveway after spending a few hours out shopping and generally just bumming around. She was relaxed and content, having spent a few hours outside the safety of her home with Vaughn. She had resisted the urge to call home several times, and was proud that she had made it the whole time without doing so. She got her packages out of the car and maneuvered them towards the house, leash with Donovan attached awkwardly in hand as well. She pushed open the door and Eric and Vaughn were much as she had left them. At least they weren't still watching hockey she thought. 

"Hey guys!" she said as Donovan bounded down the hall to his water dish.

"Hey!" Vaughn replied happily.

"Hey Syd," Eric added.

She looked down at the two of them, "Vaughn…Eric…were you good while mommy was gone?"

"Yes," they both answered.

"No beer?"

"No."

"No corn nuts?"

"No."

"No porn?"

They were silent. "Guys?" she said. They smiled at each other and still didn't answer. "Guys!" she said exasperatedly.

"No…no porn, honey." Vaughn finally answered.

She went to the bedroom and put away a few of the things that she had purchased. She came back out to the living room and sat down on the floor next to Eric and Donovan, who had curled up by the couch. They appeared to be watching a movie, but she couldn't tell what it was. They didn't seem to enthusiastic about it though. She waited a few minutes, seeing if the movie was any good, and then realized it wasn't.

"Hey did Tom call?" she asked no one in particular.

"No," they both answered.

"Hmm…that's odd…"

"Maybe he was just busy…" Vaughn offered.

"Yeah, but he told me he'd call right back, and the exercise thing is kind of important Vaughn."

"I know…he'll call…"

"What is this movie?" she finally asked, looking at Vaughn.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Haven't a clue."

"Then why are you watching it?"

"Cause we finished all the hockey and the porn tapes," Eric offered and received a swat from Sydney because of it.

They watched the really bad movie in silence, it was kind of engrossing, Sydney had to admit, once you got into it. They were all staring at the screen like mindless drones, when the doorbell rang. Sydney got up rather reluctantly and slowly made her way to the door, while still trying to watch what was transpiring on the screen.

She opened the door and turned, and found Dr. Tom standing in her doorway.

"Tom? Hi…what are you doing here?"

"I meant to call a long time ago, I got hung up, we had an emergency, but I didn't forget about you. I thought I'd just stop over, cause what I came up with is way too complicated to explain over the phone."

She moved out of the way so he could enter.

Vaughn looked over to the door, "Hey Tom."

"Hey Mike," he said.

Eric poked his head up over the couch, "Hey man, how's it goin?"

"Hey Eric, good…you?"

"Can't complain," he said sitting again.

"So how come you guys didn't tell me we were having a party?"

"Sorry man, it was kinda spur of the moment," Eric explained, "otherwise I totally would have called you…you could have brought the beer."

Tom smiled. "None for this one though, RIGHT?" he said as he eyed Vaughn suspiciously.

"I've been a perfect angel," he said.

Sydney added, "Really, he has…been very good."

"Ok…let's get started. I hate to interrupt you're…movie…here…wow, that's lame…" he stopped for a minute, "But strangely interesting…anyway…we need to work out this exercise."

He approached Vaughn and scooted Eric out of the way. Sydney followed, to observe for her further reference.  
Tom moved the pillows so Vaughn was laying flat and then looked to Sydney, "Ok, until the shoulder is strong enough to pull on, this is what you're going to have to do…why don't you sit…"

Sydney took her place sitting on Vaughn's legs.

Eric looked over with interest, "Hey, Syd…you know we don't need any more porn tapes if you two are going to put on a show right now…should I get the video camera?"

"Eric, I'll kick your ass if you don't shut up."

"Ok, ok…just saying…you know, there's a lot of money in porn sales these days…"

Tom regrouped, "Ok…now here's how we're going to work this. We're going to use the sling to our advantage. You grip his right hand in your right hand and then grip his left with your left, so you'll be pulling him up with both of your arms crossed, it'll make it easier to pull him up. Ok, now you're probably wondering how you grip his left hand right?" Sydney nodded as she grabbed his right hand with her right. "Here's what we're going to do. See the part here where the sling and the strap connect? Yeah, I spent like a half hour figuring out how strong that connection point is, and it's pretty damn strong…strong enough that you can grab it and put pulling pressure on it. So, grab onto the actual sling, not his hand for now." Sydney complied. "Got a good grip?"

"Yeah," Sydney answered.

"Ok, now, pull him up into a sitting position." He backed away, letting Sydney do it, since he wouldn't be there to help other times; she needed to be able to accomplish it on her own.

Sydney made sure her grip wasn't going to slip then leaned forward and started pulling Vaughn up. He groaned and winced, but she got him up. She held onto him, counted to three and then eased him back down, still holding on to his hand and the sling.

"Ok, now let him rest for a minute, and then do it again…until you've completed six sets."

Sydney nodded, and helped Vaughn up and down three more times. After four, his breathing was very labored, and a slight sheen of sweat had started to form on his forehead. Pain was evident on his face. Eric was watching in concern, his brow furrowed as he watched his friend struggle.

Tom was watching closely too. Sydney was about to pull him up again, but Tom stopped her, "Ok…I think four's good for the first time…we don't want to hurt him…" He looked down at Vaughn. "You ok?"

"Great…" he croaked.

"Ok, Mike…this is what I was talking about. Now, you're probably thinking, 'all I did was sit up with help,' why am I so tired? But…just think, you haven't actually sat up in weeks…and you're injured on top of it. This is normal…you're going to get really tired…and I know it's going to bug the hell out of you, but you just gotta let it come with time, ok?"

"Yeah, that sucks Tom."

"I know…but that's how it's gotta be for now."

"Yeah, ok…"

"Sydney, just try to gauge his reaction…if one day he seems to be having a really tough time, or he's overly tired, go easy on him that day. We don't want additional injuries."

"Got it Tom."

"Ok, then I'm outta here…don't get discouraged…" he said looking at Vaughn.

Vaughn offered a weak smile as Tom walked out waving and saying goodbye. Sydney was still sitting on his legs, and after Tom left, she moved the pillows back and eased him back into them.

"You ok?" she asked Vaughn.

"Yeah…just winded…and sore…" He managed a smile.

"I'm sorry this is so hard for you Vaughn…"

"It's ok Syd…you make it much easier…and you too Eric."

Eric smiled happily.

"You boys hungry?" she asked a few minutes later.

"Yeah," they both answered.

"Ok, what do you want?" she barely got the words out when the phone rang. She went over and picked it up.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hello sweetheart."

"Hey Dad," Sydney said quite surprised looking over at Vaughn, who's eyebrows peaked when he heard who it was.

"I was just wondering what you and Vaughn were doing for dinner. I mean, I'm sure you're not going out or something, I was just thinking I could…bring something over…help out…"

"Uh, sure…that'd be nice," Sydney said, the end of the sentence almost sounding like a question.

"Ok, what should I bring? What type of food?"

"Let me ask…" she put her hand over the receiver. "My dad wants to bring dinner…"

"He does?" Vaughn asked as if he couldn't have heard her correctly.

"Yeah…he wants to know what kind of food we want. Do you want him to come over, or should I tell him you're not up to it."

"No, it's ok…unless you don't want him to come over…" he turned his attention to Eric, "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Sure, " Eric shrugged.

"What kind of food?" Sydney repeated.

"I don't know," Vaughn answered. "Something not spicy – like I don't think Chinese would be a good idea at this point."

"How about Italian? You think you can handle pasta?"

"Yeah," Vaughn reasoned.

"Ok…" she moved her hand, "Dad? How about Italian?"

"Sure Sydney…what would you like?"

"Um, I'll have the pasta primavera," she looked to Vaughn, "What do you want honey?"

"Mmm…better stick with something with not too much sauce."

"What, like just buttered noodles or something?"

"Yeah, ok…"

"Buttered noodles for Vaughn, oh, and Eric's here too…"

"Certainly…"

"Eric?" She asked directing her question to him.

"Uh, I'm easy…spaghetti's fine…with meatballs."

"Ok…did you get that Dad?"

"Yeah…I've got it all…I'll see you in a little while then."

"Ok…"

"Goodbye Sydney."

"Bye Dad." She hung up and looked at Vaughn, "How weird was that?"


	50. The Visitors, Part 4

**Chapter 50: The Visitors, Part 4 **

_"Your children are not your children, They are the sons and daughter's of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable." – Kahlil Gibran (The Prophet)_

* * *

Jack arrived at Sydney's door with food in hand precisely 24 minutes later. She answered and helped him carry in the various bags of Italian food that he picked up on the way to her house. Sydney and Jack walked through the kitchen to place the bags on the counter and Sydney started to unpack the bags and get plates and silverware from the cupboards. Then she moved to get Donovan and let him out into the backyard.

"Hello Vaughn," he said and then also added, "Hello Eric."

"Hi," they both said, still watching the lame B-movie.

"Do you need any help Sydney?" he asked his daughter.

"No, not right now. You can help me carry it in when I've got it all sorted out, I'll let you know."

"Ok…" Jack said.

Jack stood rather awkwardly in between the kitchen and the living room, really standing in neither room. He thought that was quite fitting at the moment, it was usually how it was with Sydney. It had gotten better, but he wasn't sure she really wanted him fully in her life (in the kitchen) and he didn't think it was proper to be intruding on obviously close friends' (in the living room).

Vaughn finally noticed that he was just standing there, "You wanna sit Jack?"

"No, I'll wait to help Sydney," he said.

"Ok…it was nice of you to stop by…bring dinner…thanks."

"Of course," Jack said evenly. "How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?"

"Uh, yeah, somewhat…it depends on the day and the time, and the weather, and about a million other things, but yeah, I'm better," he looked at Jack for a minute and then said, "Sydney helps a lot."

Jack looked rather uncomfortable at that statement, and wondered if Vaughn had done that on purpose, trying to push a reaction from him. He realized though when he looked into Vaughn's eyes that he didn't mean anything of the sort, he was just simply stating the fact, and at once, Jack Bristow was very proud of his daughter.

"She's a wonderful person," he offered with a warm smile that rather startled Vaughn.

He returned the smile, "Yes, she truly is."

Sydney came into the living room and looked curiously at her father and Vaughn, wondering why they both had similar smiles on their faces, looked to Weiss for a minute who winked at her, and then decided not to press it.

"Dad, you wanna give me a hand now?"

"Of course," Jack said as he followed her into the kitchen.

Once they had arrived in the kitchen, she checked to make sure that Vaughn and Eric were occupied and then asked, "What was that about? I come in and my father and my boyfriend are both grinning like idiots, it's rather disturbing."

"We were simply discussing how wonderful you are."

"Really?" she asked surprised.

"Yes, Sydney, really. Contrary to what you might think, I am very proud of you. Although I don't think any father relishes the idea of their daughter being involved with someone, I must say that Vaughn is a good man. I think it's amazing what the two of you obviously have…he trusts you; you can see it. The way you've been taking care of him is nothing short of extraordinary Sydney. Dedication is one of your best qualities."

Sydney swore that her mouth must have been on the floor after her father finished that sentence. For a minute, she couldn't think of anything to say.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you…that…that means so much to me…coming from you…I…it's nice to know…"

"Would I be pushing it too far to tell you that I love you Sydney?"

She beamed at him, "No, I don't think it's ever going to far to tell someone you love them dad, and I love you too…it's been a really long time since you've said that to me."

"I know…I'm sorry," Jack said, eyes downcast, "I know I've been a terrible father, but I'd like to change that…I guess you could say that Vaughn's whole ordeal made me realize that it could have been you…I could have lost you without ever telling you that…"

She surprised herself when she launched herself into his arms and they hugged for several moments. Sydney was slightly teary and she could have sworn that her father was as well.

"Dad, thanks…for everything you've said…it's nice to know that you're proud of me, and that you "approve" of Vaughn, although that wouldn't have stopped me if you didn't."

"I'm well aware of that Sydney," Jack said with a smile.

"But it's true…it's not only trust Dad, I love Vaughn…and he loves me too."

"I know."

"Good."

They stood there for a few more moments before Sydney said, "We should really get the food out there before they think something happened to us."

"Of course."

They each took several articles and began carrying them into the living room. Jack went back for the rest, letting Sydney start to get Vaughn settled for dinner. He smiled at them as he came back into the living room, and Vaughn looked at the two strangely, reminding himself he'd have to ask Sydney later what they had done with her father, and who this strange man was in her living room, serving dinner.

Dinner conversation also struck Vaughn as odd. Jack was actually addressing him, asking questions with what he could only decipher as concern. Jack Bristow seemed genuinely concerned…about him. Weiss watched the whole scene between father, daughter, and boyfriend with interest while he ate his spaghetti. He caught Vaughn's eye a few times, asking silently what the hell was going on, and what planet he had landed on, but Eric could only shrug. It was actually pleasant.

Sydney helped Vaughn with his dinner, until he realized she wasn't really eating.

"Yours is going to get cold," he said.

She smiled, "That's ok."

"No it's not," he said seriously.

Jack and Eric looked at the couple on the couch, but didn't remark.

Sydney looked down at Vaughn when he asked, "Do you always do that? Eat after me?"

She shrugged, "Yeah…what's your point?"

"What's my point?" He made his tone one of annoyance, "Sydney, my point is that you always eat cold food because you're always helping me…that's not right."

"Why isn't it right Vaughn? What else would you suggest?

"Let me try…"

"Vaughn, it's not a big deal, I don't mind…"

"I do…" he said simply.

She looked at him for a minute, and realized his determination, sighed, and moved him to sit up a little more, moved the plate so it was resting on his chest and handed him the fork. Then she picked up her own plate and started to eat. Jack and Weiss continued with conversation, and Sydney tried to give them both looks not to say anything. Vaughn managed to feed himself with moderate success, although it was awkward because he wasn't using his usual hand. He seemed frustrated at a few points, but Sydney didn't attempt to help him. He didn't talk much through the rest of the meal, but the other occupants of the room continued to talk nonetheless. Once they were finished, Sydney started to clean up and Jack got up to help her.

Weiss looked at Vaughn, "What was that about?"

"I don't think it's right for Sydney not to eat or eat cold food because she has to take care of the idiot who got himself tortured."

"Vaughn, she said she didn't mind…she's happy to help you."

"That doesn't make it right Eric."

Sydney came in at the tail end of the conversation, on her way to get more of the dishes. She looked at Eric, "Can you give us a second?"

"Yeah…sure…I'll take those," he said as he took the dishes from the table and went off into the kitchen.

"What's going on with you?"

"Sydney…if I would have realized earlier that you don't eat when you help me or you eat after, I wouldn't have let you help…"

"Vaughn…why not? That's what I'm here for, to help you…"

"But I don't want you to help me at your expense."

"That's love Vaughn…"

He couldn't come up with a good response to that one. She waited, but when one didn't come, she said, "Look…I know you're frustrated, I'm sure you're really pissed sometimes, and that's ok…but I don't want you to feel like you don't need help. I'm here to help you…sacrifice is part of love Vaughn…that's what happens. It's not bad that I eat after you…it won't be forever, and seriously, it's not all the time. Usually I eat in between your bites…you know? You don't have to be embarrassed or anything, please…Vaughn…please, just give yourself a break. You can't keep being this hard on yourself."

He listened to her pleading with him, but it didn't make him feel much better. "I don't want you to hurt yourself because you're helping me."

"Is this the resentment thing again?"

"Maybe…I don't know…I just…it seems like everything that you have to do for me in someway is a detriment to your health."

"What do you mean?"

"Eating for one, sleeping for another – you never get any sleep with me…if I'm not having a nightmare, then I'm up anyway, pretty much everything – pain medication, exercises, you're whole–"

"Vaughn, stop," she said, "Listen…I don't know exactly why this is bothering you so much…I knew what I was taking on here…I don't mind any of those things, I'm not burning myself out or anything. You're really blowing this out of proportion…"

"I don't think so…"

"Well, I know so, and you've said it before – I'm always right."

"I don't want to hurt you…"

"You're not…" she touched his face, "You're not…"

He looked up at her, "You'd tell me if I was…wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"If it gets to be too much, if I get to be too much, you'll tell me?"

"Yes, but that won't happen."

He looked up at her in uncertainty.

"It won't Vaughn…don't worry so much…"

He managed a weak smile.

Jack and Eric came in at that moment, entering carefully, in case they were still discussing.

Eric was the first to talk, "Well…everything's cleaned up…I really should get going…it's getting late."

Vaughn looked up at Eric, "Thanks for coming over Eric."

Eric looked at Vaughn quizzically, "Sure…I'll see you next week – probably sooner, I'll call…"

"Ok." Vaughn said.

"Thanks for dinner Jack."

"Sure."

Eric said goodbye to Sydney and Jack and left.


	51. A Father’s Advice

**P/N: Happy Hollidays!**

**Chapter 51: A Father's Advice **

_"Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved." – Victor Hugo _

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." – Jane Howard

* * *

Jack sat down in the living room with the couple. He noticed the general feeling of uneasiness permeating the room and coming off of the couple before him. He looked pensively at them for a few minutes and then said, "Sydney, Vaughn, I want to tell you something." They both turned to look at him. Jack looked at Vaughn. 

"I had a nice chat with my daughter before dinner. I told her some things that I should have said a long time ago, things I should have said to her all along, but didn't. You are responsible for what I said."

Vaughn looked at him confused.

"What happened to you…that's what made me come out of the protective shell I put around myself and tell Sydney want I needed to. What happened to you made me realize that it could have been her just as easily as it was you. And I realized how much I'd left unsaid. Sydney is very determined, always has been, and she'd very stubborn, but those are two of her best qualities. Do you know what her best quality is Michael?"

Vaughn looked at Sydney and then at Jack, "Love," he stated simply.

Jack smiled, "That's right…love…my daughter has an amazing capacity for love, and that's rare considering the lack of it I showed her in her youth. She loves you…and if she wouldn't have told me herself, it wouldn't take an astrophysicist to figure it out. It's written plainly all over her face," he looked adoringly at his daughter, "But…it's also written all over yours. I see how much you love my daughter, and I don't think I've ever seen her as happy as she is with you. She makes you happy too…stay that way…don't let your life or your nightmares drag that down. Let her love you and love her back…completely. Don't question…I didn't and although in my case, I got burned, that's not going to happen in this relationship. It's not a crime to lose yourself in someone else Michael, as long as you still retain yourself. And I don't doubt that Sydney's mother loved me at some point…I wouldn't get too worked up over something like her helping you eat, I'm sure you can think of some way to repay her later." He stopped, amused at the look on Vaughn's face.

"I'll leave you too alone now," he said standing.

Sydney stood and gave him a hug, her eyes teary once again, "Thanks dad, for everything."

"Of course, at least I did it the right way this time," Jack said sadly.

Vaughn looked over at Jack and reached out his hand, "Thank you," he stated.

"You're welcome. Take care of my daughter, she'll take care of you."

"I will," Vaughn said.

Jack smiled at the two and let himself out quietly.

Sydney sat back down on the couch with Vaughn, and he was staring at the door. "Vaughn?"

"Yeah," he said looking back at her, but she didn't say anything, she really didn't know what to say.

Vaughn decided to say something, "I'm sorry…"

"Vaughn, don't be."

"I overreacted…I just don't want to do anything to hurt you…I want to take care of you Sydney."

"You are…"

"No, I'm not."

"Ok, that's enough – if you don't start giving yourself a break and easing off on the self-bashing, I'm going to hurt you worse than you already are. Just stop…Just because you're not mowing the lawn and making dinner doesn't mean that you're not taking care of me. You do, Vaughn, I don't know what I'd do without you, I don't know how I did it before you…just stop blaming yourself for things you have no control over!"

He was surprised at rising tone. "Wow, I really pissed you off didn't I?"

"Yes!" she said.

"I'm sorry…"

"Stop saying that! You have nothing to be sorry for. I like taking care of you…right now, that's my job – I want to help you…I need to help you…it's not like I'm being dragged kicking and screaming! I love you stupid! What do you think love is all about? Now, you've stood by me when I've been moody and distant and everything else, and I won't allow you to blame yourself like this anymore…do you hear me? You always told me stuff like that before, and it worked, you helped keep me out of it…I want to do the same for you…you don't always have to be the strong one…you can lean on me…I'm here…"

"Yeah…I know…"

"Good!"

"You're really cute when you're angry."

"That's not the point Vaughn – did you get the point?"

"Yeah…I know…I'm an ass…just keep telling me."

"That wasn't the point! You're allowed to feel anyway you want, if you're pissed because I don't eat until after you, fine, that's fine, but then we're gonna talk about it…because I'm not going to let you stay feeling that way."

"Ok…ok…I get it…I'm sorry."

"Vaughn!"

"Well, what else am I supposed to say?" he asked.

She smiled and kissed him. "I didn't mean to yell at you, it just makes me really angry when you like take it personally as your fault that I eat after you sometimes…if anyone's to blame, you know who it is…"

"Yeah, I know…but I just don't want to…"

"I know…I know…stop worrying so much, I'm fine," Sydney assured him.

"Ok."

"Ok," she said. "Well, we've got the whole house to ourselves, what do you want to do?"

"Are Will and Francie coming back tonight?"

"Will called me earlier when I was out…he said he and Francie were going out to dinner and wouldn't be in until late…"

"Hmm…what could we do?"

"Wanna make another memory on the couch?"

"Sure…" he said happily.

"Ok! Let's exercise!"

Vaughn groaned, "Oh, you are so mean…that's totally not what I wanted to do on the couch!"

She smiled, "We'll get to that later, ok…incentive for your exercises."

"Ok," he said grudgingly.

She moved the pillows and sat on his legs, laced her right hand with his right and grabbed onto the sling with her left. She gently started easing him up, counted to three and eased him back down. She repeated it three more times and then stopped to see if he could continue.

"You ok?"

"Uh…yeah…I'm tired…but yeah."

"Should we do one more?"

"Ok." She pulled him up one more time and then eased him back, lying down with him once he was flat.

"You ok?"

"Yeah," he said.

"I hate to push, but do you want to try the standing one?"

He groaned again, "Alright," he said in a resigned tone.

"Vaughn, if you're too tired, we can wait until tomorrow…"

"No, it's ok…we can stand…"

"You have to do it for you too, not just because I want you to."

"I know…let's stand."

"Ok." She went to get the exercise sheet and read it aloud to Vaughn, "Ok, we are supposed to first get you in a sitting position, like the one we'd do for the crunches. Then, we swing your legs over the side, and we ease you into a standing position, pulling gently in a similar fashion to the crunches in an upward motion, and then under your arms if necessary. And you're supposed to push off with your feet." She looked down at him and he looked at her warily.

"Ok, Syd," He said.

She moved to sit on his legs again, got him sitting and then got off of his legs and swung them off the couch. Then she retook his hand and his sling and started to pull him up. He pushed his feet firmly on the floor, wincing slightly when his ankle twinged, but Sydney managed to get him standing in front of her. He wavered slightly, and Sydney grabbed onto his waist in an effort to steady him. He closed his eyes and wobbled slightly again.

"Vaughn?" Sydney asked quietly.

"Mmm…wow…yeah…really dizzy here…"

"You ok?"

"Mmm…no…room is spinning…"

"C'mere," she said and pulled his head down until it rested on her shoulder. She held him up, supporting as much weight as he couldn't, and just helped him stand there for a few moments.

He seemed to settle and the wobbling ceased, but he stayed right where he was on her shoulder, breathing heavily because they had to take the oxygen off to get him to stand.

"How're you doin?" she asked.

"M'alright."

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes."

"Ok, I think we can sit you down again…"

"Ok."

She eased him back, hanging on to him the whole way until he was sitting on the couch again. She replaced the oxygen before laying him down. She was slightly concerned because he really seemed to be gulping the oxygen, but then reminded herself that was the first time he'd stood up in over two weeks.

"Easy, honey…just slow down…" she placed a hand on his chest and breathed with him. He watched her intently, as his breathing began to slow and return to normal.

He smiled once he was breathing easily. She smiled back. "You ok?"

"Yeah…"

"Was that really as bad as it seemed?"

"The standing with you part wasn't so bad…"

She touched his face, "I'm sorry honey."

"If I can't say that, neither can you."

"Ok," she said with another smile. She leaned over and kissed him, letting the kiss deepen naturally, tracing the inside of his mouth with her tongue. She leaned back after they had kissed for several minutes.

"Want me to make you come like crazy on the couch? Make another memory?"

"Hell yeah."

"Ok…on one condition…"

"What?"

"You let me love you…with no guilt, no wondering if I had fun too…no worrying that you weren't on top being all macho…ok?"

He smiled, "Yeah, I can handle that."

"Good, then I'll do the rest of the handling."

His smile turned into a contorted face of bliss as she ground herself on his erection. He was sitting slightly more elevated than he usually was and although she was slightly concerned about injuring him at this angle, she couldn't deny him this. She removed her shirt and then got up and moved off of the couch. She stood in front of him again, removing her pants, underwear and bra as well, and then moved down to the end of the couch. Once there, she removed his boxers and slowly ran her hands up the length of his legs. His legs shuddered in response. She continued her trail of touch, up to his chest, where she removed his shirt. Once they were free of the offending clothing, she settled herself in his lap once more and she could feel his erection hot and hard behind her. She traced gentle circles all over his chest before moving up to his shoulders and neck. She gently rubbed any place she could find. His eyes closed, but opened again when he felt her hand move behind her and stroke his hard cock. His cock was hot to the touch and Sydney stroked him with agonizingly light touches. He was moaning for her to stroke harder, but she seemed to enjoy his torment of bliss.

"Sydney, please…" he said breathily.

"Please what?" she asked coyly.

"Harder…please…" he begged.

She obliged momentarily, but then started the feather-light touches again.

"Syd, you're killing me here…"

"I think you'll live Mr. Vaughn."

"Uh…" he said as she stroked him a few times harder. The tip of his cock was glistening with pre-cum and she rubbed it all over the head, taking a minute to rub and caress that sensitive spot. He moaned again in ecstasy bucking his hips up and down. She moved down until she was eye level with his hardness and licked at the secretions she had spread around the head.

She covered his head with her mouth and sucked hungrily, willing more of the warm liquid out of him.

"Oh God Syd, that's so good…"

She smiled evilly, letting his cock fall from her mouth, "What's good honey?" she asked.

"Uhn…Syd…please…"

She smiled up at him and gripped the base hard, eliciting a hiss from him. She took the head into her mouth again and swirled her tongue around the whole area. She kept her grip firm on the base of his cock, stilling his hips and holding him prone on the couch, his whole experience now locked in Sydney's grasp.

She slowly worked her way up his shaft with her hand, keeping the grip tight. Once she reached the head, she pinched the head gently, causing him to writhe under her. She replaced her mouth again and moved her other hand down to his balls, rolling them between her fingers, and applying pressure on them as well.

He thought he was going to implode if she didn't loosen her grip soon. He tried to tell her, but found that it felt so good; he couldn't form the words. She seemed to sense that he was having some trouble…expressing his feelings and smiled and backed off. He looked down at her in lust and she made her way back to his mouth like a cat on the prowl. He smiled when he saw her start; she placed her hands on either side of him on the couch, deliberately avoiding any contact with his erection. Once at his mouth, she sprang on him, devouring his mouth with more passion than he could ever imagine. That was just like Sydney – she could take something so purely sexual and make it completely loving. He eagerly attacked her mouth in retaliation, and she smiled while they kissed.

"Getting into the game are we Mr. Vaughn?"

"I wasn't aware this was a game, Ms. Bristow…"

"Well…not a 'game' per say…"

"Hmm…are you trying to infer that I haven't been in the game up to this point?"

"You've been up, just a little distracted."

"No one could weather that and stay completely composed Sydney."

"Thank you…" she said.

"I didn't say it was a compliment…" he said mischievously.

"You're asking for more…you realize that, don't you?"

"Mmm…can I make a different suggestion for the game?"

"Sure…"

"I think the whole game might be better won with me inside you," he said nodding his head.

"Hmm…well…let me think strategy," her finger moved to her chin as she sat looking off pensively. "I've decided…" she said finally.

"And? What have you decided?"

"I think you're right…" she said with a wink. Before he had time to recover or react to her statement, she was poised, her folds resting on the tip of his cock. She wordlessly and quickly moved the first inch of him inside her, squeezing him in as his head pushed back into the pillows and his hand came to rest on her hip. She could feel the tip of his cock running along the inside of her walls, and every time he connected, little electric shocks filled her entire body. Her nipples were pebbles jutting out, waiting to be caressed, and with the way his body was angled on the couch, he had perfect access rights. She moved up and down on him gently and slowly as she allowed him to stimulate her thoroughly.

"Mmm…Vaughn…that feels so good," she cooed near his ear, and it only served to spur him on further. He moved his hand from her hip to pinch and tease at the nipple even more, and she shuddered with the feelings. She stopped moving momentarily, just enjoying the feeling of him pleasing her erect nipples. She ran her hands through his hair in encouragement. When he stopped, they were both breathless, her body was covered in a light flush, and it reflected off of his face as well. She smiled down at him as she made him relax and set back to work on him inside her. She rolled her hips, sending him to new heights of pleasure, bucking to get deeper inside her. She watched the feelings travel across his face carefully, wanting to know what was making him feel the best so she could repeat it for him and bring him to yet a new height of pleasure. She rode him gently, making him squirm beneath her, grasping at her in an attempt to feel more. Sitting up so she was perpendicular to his angled form, she allowed him to enter her fully before pulling off of him almost entirely and then slowly pulling him back in. She could feel him reach spots he had never before and she had to admit, she hoped his release was close, because hers was threatening to explode any minute. The heat that radiated off of them was brought to a higher intensity with the heat that was building in her core. She felt a rush of more heat as his hips arched upward with his ejaculation, sending him further inside her. She cried out his name as she rolled over into her own orgasm, gripping at him desperately, delighting in the feeling of more heat inside her, wanting all of him that he could give her…and he did. She relished in the sounds of his groaning mixing with her own. Their strokes slowed as they both came down from the paramount, savoring the aftermath of their lovemaking.

Vaughn's breath was thready and Sydney wondered again if their S.H.ing might in fact be doing more harm than good for him.

"You ok?" she asked quietly as she caressed his face.

"Yeah…I'm good," he said, looking particularly satisfied.

"Are you sure this isn't too much for you? Maybe we should slow down or lay off of the S.H. for awhile."

"No," he stated plainly.

"Vaughn…"

"Sydney, I don't think I can handle all of this if I can't be with you. That's not to say that I'm some crazed nympho that can't get enough or you, although I can't, but I just…feel better…I guess I can't really explain it. I said before I feel safe, that's true, sex isn't all about the physical stuff Syd, it's about the emotional connection we make too…you know?"

"Yeah, of course…"

"I can't do this without that emotional connection with you, not that we can't have it like talking or something, but really…it helps…it's not too much…really."

"Ok," she said satisfied with his answer.

She laid her head down on his chest as he drew circles on her back with his hand. She was asleep in no time, and he managed to grab the blanket from the floor and at least haphazardly throw it over her. If Will or Francie came in, at least she'd have some cover. He stayed awake for a while, watching her sleep, wondering how he ever got to be so lucky that this sleeping woman would worry that sex was too much for him. He smiled as he yawned, letting his eyes close, and thinking about what was usually on his mind – Sydney.


	52. Patio Pow Wow

**Chapter 52: Patio Pow-Wow **

_"Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do." – Anon. _

"In the arena of human life the honors and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action." – Aristotle

* * *

Sydney woke the next morning feeling safe and comfortable in Vaughn's arm. She looked up at him, and took her daily morning moment to watch him sleep. He seemed calm and serene, and she felt wonderful that he had made it through another night without a nightmare.

She didn't know if Francie and Will had made it home last night, but she noticed that she was covered with a blanket and became rather frantic for a moment wondering if it was one of her friends that had covered them up or if Vaughn had done it. She could hear Donovan's snoring down the hall as well, so someone must have let him in.

When she next looked up at Vaughn, he was smiling down at her.

"Hey," he said sleepily.

"Hi," she said and then added, "You covered us, right?"

He smiled, "Yeah, it was me…not a roomie."

"Good," she said relived, "That would be embarrassing."

He smiled his understanding.

"So…you want breakfast?"

"Mmm…breakfast like the other day? Cause I'm already awake now…"

"No silly, I mean real breakfast…we'll have to save that for another day."

"Ok…"

She ran off to the bedroom to grab some clothes and came back to help Vaughn dress. She was just finishing when Francie came out of her bedroom.

"Hey guys," she said quietly.

"Hey," they both echoed, before Sydney added, "Where's Will?"

Francie made a jerking motion towards her room, "He's still asleep…you guys want breakfast?"

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "Yeah, we were just about to make something, but you know…if you're offering to make another wonderful breakfast, we're more than willing to eat it."

Vaughn poked his head up slightly, "Ditto!" he said.

Francie smiled and set to work.

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "You wanna do your first exercises before or after breakfast?"

"Let's get them over with now…"

"Ok," Sydney said moving to sit on his legs.

They did the crunches first and Sydney was pleased to see that he got through five of them without too much pain. Once they were finished with the first set, she moved down to his ankle and they did the rotations of that as well. Then came the standing. Sydney noted that Vaughn seemed more apprehensive about the standing, probably since it didn't go so well the first time. She was as gentle as possible, and tried to be reassuring.

"Ok Vaughn, let's sit you up."

He complied, letting her sit on his legs again and getting him into a sitting position. Then she moved his legs off the couch, stood up and grabbed onto his hand and his sling, instructing him to push off with his feet. He did so with more success than yesterday, but it was a similar scenario.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Still dizzy," he said wavering.

She moved to hold him up, and he took a similar stance to that of the previous day. She wound up holding him up though for a longer time, and he seemed ok as long as he could lean on her.

She was just getting him down to the couch again when Francie walked in with three plates of omelets.

She looked at the couple strangely, "What were you doing, if I may ask?"

Vaughn smiled, "It's this new form of sex…you do it standing, and you don't need any kind of p–"

"VAUGHN!" Sydney yelled. "My God! We were doing his exercises, he has this whole list he has to do…crunches six times, standing three times, and ankle as well…it supposed to help him progress…"

"Oh, that's good."

"Oh it is…" Vaughn said with a gleam in his eye.

Sydney just shook her head and handed Vaughn his plate. He smiled at her when she handed him the fork after that, "Let me know…" she said.

"I will…" he answered. She got up and brought Vaughn's pills back, handing him what he needed to take.

"You know, for an invalid and two girls, you guys sure are noisy!" Will said as he lumbered out of the bedroom, obviously still tired.

Francie smiled as they kissed, "You want breakfast?" she asked sweetly.

"Nah, I'll just eat some of yours," he said moving towards her plate.

"NO!" she said, snatching it away. "You'll eat it all…there's another one in the oven…I kept it warm."

"Aw, that was nice," Will said, kissing her once again and bounding off for his food.

He came back seconds later, greedily eating the omelet; half of it was already gone.

Francie looked at her plate and then at Will's, "Hungry?" she asked with a smirk.

Will smiled with his mouth obviously full, "Mmph, a wuf breal nugee."

All the other occupants of the room looked at him questioningly.

"I said, I was really hungry," he clarified.

"What are you guys gonna do today?" Sydney asked the other couple.

Francie answered, "Mmm…don't know…we didn't have any plans really, how about you guys?"

Vaughn smiled as Sydney looked at him, "I don't know either…we have to do exercises, that's about the only thing on the agenda for today."

Will and Francie looked at each other again before Will said, "You guys wanna do something here at home? We could to the movie thing again…or…something else."

Vaughn looked deep in thought.

Sydney finally asked, "Vaughn? Honey?"

He looked at her, "Can we go outside?"

Sydney looked back surprised, "Outside!"

Vaughn sheepishly answered, "Yeah…outside."

Sydney looked to Will and Francie and then back to Vaughn, "Uh…sure…um…what do you want to do outside?"

"I don't know, can't we just sit outside or something? We don't have to play soccer, can't we just be outside? I don't know, play cards, find shapes in the clouds, whatever, I just want to go outside…get some fresh air, get out of the house. Can we go outside?" he finished, looking amazingly nine years old again.

Sydney looked down at him again after the speech, "Sure honey, we can go outside. Let's get a chair that'll be comfortable. Will can you get that reclining chair out of the garage and bring it out to the patio?"

Will nodded, "Sure!" and ran off to get the chair. After a minute he came back in looking very excited. "Hey! We could grill! You guys wanna grill out tonight?"

Vaughn was the first to answer; "Yeah!" and Donovan let out a resounding bark to add his opinion to the mix.

Sydney looked concernedly at Vaughn and then looked to Francie whose face mirrored the worry on Sydney's.

"Um, grilling? Vaughn, I'm not sure that all the smoke would be a good idea…you know…lung problems."

"Aw Sydney, come on…we can just move me away from the grill. It'll be fine…come on…please?"

She smiled when she saw his face, all aglow with the nine-year-old wonder. "Ok…we can grill…but we have to be careful."

Will mouthed 'yes!' to Vaughn and ran off again to find the chair. He moved it out unto the patio and then the four finished their breakfasts. Sydney and Francie cleaned up the dishes and went out to the patio and cleaned up the area where they'd all be sitting, while Will got a few more chairs and moved the table around. Once they were finished they came back in the house to move Vaughn.

Sydney unhooked the oxygen and Francie carried it outside and Will and Sydney helped Vaughn out onto the patio. Sydney was impressed that Vaughn seemed a little more comfortable walking with help. With both Will and herself supporting him, and the added benefit of a healing ankle, he was able to walk quite sufficiently. They eased him into the reclining lawn chair and Sydney hooked up the oxygen again.

"Ok?" she asked.

He smiled widely, "Better…" he replied.

She returned the smile, "You need anything else? Blanket, pillow?"

"No, I'm good," he said settling into the chair as Donovan leaped up to sit next to Vaughn.

Will called from in the house, "Sydney?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna come in here and help me?"

"Sure, I'll be right back Vaughn, you be ok?"

"Yeah," he said.

"I'll keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't run off anywhere," Francie said.

"Good…" Sydney kissed Vaughn and went off into the house searching for Will.

"So…" Francie said.

"So…" Vaughn echoed.

"I've been meaning to ask you…how did this all happen to you?"

Vaughn went pale at the question, not knowing how to answer her, "Uh…" he thought desperately for a moment, "I…was on a business trip…for the bank…and…got…kidnapped, yeah, kidnapped by these ransom for hire people…yeah…they held me for…a while…"

"Hmm," Francie said obviously not convinced, "And they did all of this to you?"

"Yeah," Vaughn replied simply, scratching at Donovan's ears.

"Wouldn't that decrease their chances of getting their ransom if they didn't keep you healthy?"

Shit, Vaughn thought… "Well, as long as your alive, they've done their job, haven't they? They never promise to keep you healthy. Besides, the bank wouldn't pay the ransom."

"Why not?"

"They asked for too much, and plus the bank doesn't like to be blackmailed."

"So how did you finally get away?"

Shit, Vaughn thought again, he couldn't tell her that Sydney had found him…and he certainly couldn't tell her that Sydney's mother had tipped them off…Francie didn't even know anything about the CIA connections… "They made a huge mistake, trusted someone in their organization that they shouldn't have…they gave me up…gave away my location, and the authorities were able to get to me in enough time to get me out of there before the kidnappers had a chance to stop them."

"Hmm…" Francie said again, "Why would they want you? I mean no offense, but you just work at a bank…"

"A bank that's internationally renowned, that does business all over the globe."

"But still, why you?"

"I was available…maybe they thought I knew more than I did."

"Yeah, maybe…" Francie still didn't look convinced. "They did a lot of shit to you, huh?"

"Yeah," Vaughn answered, eyes averting downward. This was not a topic he really wished to discuss with Francie.

"Like what? If you don't mind me asking."

He smiled slightly, knowing that would be her next question, "Uh…lots of stuff…"

Francie waited, but Vaughn didn't offer anything else. She noticed that he seemed to drift off slightly, he didn't return her gaze anymore, and he seemed to retreat further into the chair.

"Michael?" she asked.

"Yeah…"

"Are you going to elaborate?"

"Do I have to?" he asked quietly.

Francie softened immediately when she realized that she might be pushing him too far. "Look Michael, I don't mean to pry or anything, I guess it's just that I don't know what happened to you…I know that you have nightmares, that you were injured, but I don't know why. The story is…well…it's kind of outlandish…I don't understand it at all, but I'd like to understand what happened to you so I know how I should act around you. And I must say, that I'm concerned about Sydney. She loves you, that's obvious, but I want to be sure that she's ok too…you know…that's she not in over her head here…"

Vaughn smiled and looked at Francie, "I know…I worry about that too…you don't have to walk on eggshells around me or anything like that…I'm not damaged or anything…" he stopped a minute and looked away, "it's really hard to talk about what happened to me, especially with someone that I don't really know…not that I don't know you or anything, but I mean, we weren't like bosom buddies or anything before this happened to me, and I'm sure it's not ideal for you either, having this strange guy claiming to be Sydney's boyfriend become a resident in your house all of a sudden…I love Sydney, and I never want to hurt her. If I thought that something that I was doing or not doing was hurting her, I'd leave…she's the most important thing…I…I don't know what I would do without her."

Francie smiled and moved over to sit on Vaughn's lawn chair, "Look, I didn't mean to make it seem as though you're not welcome here or anything…you're not like putting us out or anything, you practically lived here before anyway, ok? I just had to be sure…ok? I love Sydney too…"

Vaughn looked up at Francie, "Who doesn't?" he said with a smile.

"That's right…"

"What do you want to know?"

"You don't have to tell me…that's ok…I understand…"

"Francie, if you really wanna know, I'll tell you…"

She looked down at him for a minute; seemingly deciding how far to push this, "Well…how about just a little bit…just so I can have an idea…you decide what you want to tell me though…"

Vaughn thought a moment, "Basically, they tortured me for almost 20 days…although I didn't know that at the time, Sydney told me that later. For all intensive purposes, it could have been 3 or 90 days for me…I had no concept anymore of time."

Francie looked down at Vaughn concerned, "Tortured?" she asked in an unbelieving tone.

"Yes."

"Can I ask what kind?"

"Just about anything you can come up with, I bet they did it."

"Wow…that must have been horrible, it's no wonder you have nightmares Michael."

Vaughn smiled and then sighed, "You want more, or is that enough?"

Francie smiled back at Vaughn, "No…I think that's enough…thank you…"

"For what?"

"Telling me…trusting me…and loving Sydney."

"Same here…"

"Good," she leaned down and kissed Vaughn on the forehead, then got up and went into the house just as Sydney was coming out. Francie smiled at Sydney and Sydney turned around to watch her go back into the house before making her way back over to Vaughn.

"That was weird," she said as she pulled a chair closer to Vaughn.

"What?" he asked.

"Francie just gave me this really weird smile as she walked in the house…" she looked down at Vaughn, "kinda…the same one you have…what's going on? Did I miss something?"  
Vaughn looked up at her, and she cringed inwardly, seeing the familiar look of torture remembrance on his face.

"Vaughn, did Francie say something to you?"

"No, Syd…it's ok…we just talked…but if she asks, I was kidnapped and held for ransom by people who thought I could tell them stuff about the bank that both of us don't work at…"

Sydney looked at him confused and angry.

"Don't be mad, I had to come up with something, I couldn't tell her the truth."

"She asked you what happened?"

"Yeah…"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm ok…she was just curious, and worried…about you."

"About me? Why?"

"Same reason I worry about you…"

"And what reason is that?"

"That you're in over your head here, and you love me too much to tell me."

"Vaughn, we've been over this before…I can't believe she said that to you…I'm gonna talk to her." Sydney made a move to get up, but Vaughn grabbed her arm.

"No, Sydney…just relax…she was only concerned about you…she had every right to ask…don't be angry with her. I'm fine…it needed to be addressed."

Sydney sat down on the edge of the chair and smoothed Vaughn's hair back, "You are so wonderful, do you know that?"

"Mmm…no, I think you're the one who's wonderful…and you have wonderful friends."

"Yep, we're one big wonderful household here." Sydney said laughing with Vaughn as she bent down to claim his wonderfulness as hers.


	53. The Games We Play

**PN: Bonus Chapter! Because I love you guys.**

**Chapter 53: The Games We Play **

_"Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal." – Thomas Moore _

"Health is not simply the absence of sickness." – Hannah Green

* * *

The four friends spent the whole morning and afternoon outside. They spent vast amounts of time doing absolutely nothing, just talking and laughing at the dog as he chased butterflies among other things including his own tail. Sydney sat on Vaughn's lawn chair, happy that he seemed so relaxed outside. He smiled, he laughed, he let his dimples come out to play, and she couldn't stop smiling. Francie and Will seemed to be having quite a good time as well.

Francie finally offered, "You know guys, this was such a great idea today, it's been such a long time since Will and I just sat…having a great time just being together."

Sydney couldn't resist, "Yeah, Vaughn and I get to do that quite a lot, much to my delight anyway."

Vaughn smiled and briefly tickled Sydney until she almost fell off the chair.

"Vaughn! Be careful! You almost knocked us both over!" she said slapping his arm softly. He simply smiled, dimples shining. She was mad for all of two seconds, and then reclaimed her spot on the chair.

"So…" he said, "What else should we do?"

Will piped up, "Sydney and I got a whole bunch of games out and cards…or we could do something else…"

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "Were you serious about the cloud thing from before? Cause I used to LOVE to do that when I was little."

Vaughn smiled, "Sure…let's do it."

"OK!" she said squealing excitedly. She moved down with Vaughn on the chair and Will and Francie laid down on the grass. They were all silent for a few minutes.

Vaughn pointed, "There! An elephant!"

"Ooo! Good one," Sydney said and then added, "And a spaceship."

"Yup, totally see it."

Will pointed, "Hey! A duck!"

Everyone burst out laughing and it took Will a minute to figure out what they were all laughing at, "Oh, yeah, that's really nice guys…thanks…MAN! I'm never gonna live that down."

"Well, not if you keep bringing it up," Sydney offered as the other three busted out in more giggles. Finally Francie composed herself enough to kiss Will and the giggles died down as well. They went back to finding more shapes.

Francie said, "That one looks like a spatula."

Will looked over at her, "A spatula? Where?"

"Right there!" She said pointing wildly.

"Uh…I don't see it…you mean that broom-looking thingee?"

"It is not a broom! It's a spatula!" Francie said again, smacking Will on the arm.

"What! It's not my fault all you see are cooking utensils!"

They bickered for a few minutes, leaving Sydney and Vaughn in relative privacy. She took full opportunity and kissed Vaughn passionately. They were both thoroughly enjoying themselves, when the bickering died down and Will said, "You see that one?"

Francie asked, "No, which one?"

"That one right there, the one with those two people totally macking on one another in front of their friends."

Sydney and Vaughn stopped their kissing and looked over towards the grass. Will and Francie were both lying on their stomachs, heads resting on their folded hands, smiling at the two.

"Uh…sorry guys," Sydney said, "Couldn't resist, and you two were busy…"

"Hmm…I guess the cloud game is over since they can't even behave for that! I can't wait until we start playing games!" Will said with a smile, offering a hand to help Francie off of the ground. "We should probably think about lunch sometime soon too, don'tcha think?"

Sydney said, "Yeah, that'd be good. You hungry baby?"

"Sure," Vaughn replied.

"What should we have?" Francie asked.

"Something simple, so we don't have to spend anymore time than necessary inside," Sydney said.

"Good deal, how about sandwiches then?" Will asked.

"Sure," they all acquiesced.

Francie and Will went off to make the lunch, and Will poked his head out, "Ham or turkey or salami? We have all three."

"I'll have ham," Sydney answered, "What about you Vaughn?"

"Turkey," he said.

"Alrighty!" Will went back in.

Sydney snuggled with Vaughn, talking in quiet tones and finding more shapes in the clouds while they waited for lunch.

In no time, Will and Francie emerged with plates and drinks, and the foursome dug into their lunch.

Sydney made no move at all to help Vaughn and he was particularly pleased he could handle the whole meal on his own. Lunch conversation varied widely, including a few more jibes at Will, the "duck man."

When lunch was finished, Sydney helped Will and Francie clean up, and they came back out with games in hand. Donovan had crashed, sleeping on the grass in a semi-circle form.

"Ok, we've got lots of card games, regular cards and Uno, umm…Life, Monopoly, Othello, Trivial Pursuit…let's start with those, we've got more in the house though…" Francie finished, looking to the three others, "What should we play?"

Will raised his hand and waved it around, "Oo! Oo! Can I pick? Can I pick?"

Francie rolled her eyes, "Uh…I don't know that man, never seen him before, nope, no…not me…" she pulled her hand up in front of her face, pretending she couldn't see Will.

Sydney was laughing, "Yeah, Duckie, pick one out."

Will's arm instantly fell, and the other three giggled again, "You know…I can just as easily go inside and you guys can just play by yourself!"

"Aw, come on Will…pick one out," Sydney said.

Will pranced over to the pile of games and looked deep in thought.

"Do you need your shorts to make the decision?" Sydney asked as they snickered again.

Will paid them no attention as he straightened his back and came back over with a game, "Seriously, Mike, I don't know how you stand her."

Vaughn smiled, "No, you don't." This sent Sydney into a fit of giggles that only ended when Will showed her what game he had picked.

"There, smarty-pants…let's see how you like being on the losing end!"

"No Will! Not that game!" she said looking scared.

Vaughn's interest was peaked, "What game is it?"

Will moved the game so Vaughn could get a look at the box. "Clue?" he said confused, "You're afraid of Clue Sydney?"

"I hate that game! I never win! Will always figures it out like three seconds into the game…he sucks!"

Vaughn laughed, "Your weakness is Clue?" he laughed.

"No! You are my weakness Mr. Vaughn! And if you don't behave, I'm not going to be on your team for any games!"

"Ok! Ok…" he was still laughing though. He thought a minute, "One problem…"

Sydney looked over concerned, as Will and Francie's eyes traveled that way too, "What's that sweetie?"

"How am I supposed to write down the answers…or hold cards for that matter?"

Sydney thought a minute, "Well…uh…when we're on a team I can just write…um…" she looked over at him as he started back in interest watching her mind work. "How sore is your shoulder?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows, "I don't know," he said.

She moved over to him and gently moved the sling off of his shoulder. She handed him a pen and a piece of paper, "Ok…try to write, let's see how it goes. And don't ever tell Tom I let you do this…cause it's not supposed to come off for another like two weeks. But I don't think an hour with it off will hurt you."

He took the pen and attempted to write, but it was rather difficult with the splints on his fingers. Sydney could tell that he was going to get extremely frustrated at any second, "Hey, let's try to just make an X or a slash or something…that's all you have to be able to do at this point…we're not writing a novel," she said caressing his cheek.

He smiled, "Yeah, I can manage an X or a slash."

"Good…then we're set. If the shoulder starts to hurt though, we'll have to put the sling back on."

"Got it."

"Ok…set up the board."

Will eagerly set up the board game, dealing out the cards and putting the weapons in various rooms. Once the answers to the game were safely sealed in the "classified" folder, with smirks from all those employed by the CIA, Will said, "Ok…I'm Colonel Mustard…I'm always Colonel Mustard," he said looking at Vaughn.

"That's fine, Colonel…it's ironic though…" Vaughn said.

"What is?" Will asked.

"You picked the character that's the same color as your duckie shorts."

The girls burst out laughing.

"Maybe you should be Colonel Duckie instead of Colonel Mustard."

Will tried to keep a straight face, "You know what, laugh it up guys…that's fine…you'll all be laughing really hard when I've solved the crime and you're a bunch of losers."

Giggling continued until Will cleared his throat and started talking again. "Who do you wanna be?" he asked Vaughn.

"I'll be Prof. Plum," he said.

"Ok! Sydney, Francie, who do you wanna be?"

Sydney answered first, "I'll be Miss Scarlet."

She looked to Vaughn whose eyebrows went up again. They shared a smile.

Francie said, "I'll be Mrs. White."

Will looked over at her amused as he handed her the white pawn.

"What?" she asked.

"Mrs. White? You ever gonna get out of the kitchen?"

"Just shut up…you should talk, Mustard!"

"OK!" Sydney said, "Should we start maybe?"

"Sure," they both said.

The game progressed, and all the players were deep in thought. Sydney was staring at her "notepad" that listed all the information she knew. Francie was also looking at hers, and Vaughn noticed that Will was the only one who didn't seem to be engrossed in the information.

After a few more rounds, Will announced, "I'd like to solve the mystery."

Vaughn couldn't help himself, "Did you solve it already Scooby? Should we give you a Scooby snack?"

The girls busted out in laughter and Will glared at Vaughn, "You know, you guys are just all jealous…not only do I have stylish undergarments, but I also can solve the crime…you'll laugh when I've won." They continued to laugh until he said, "It was Mr. Green, in the Study, with the Candlestick."

Francie and Sydney frantically searched their sheets and could come up with nothing to counter his prediction. Just as he was about to open the envelope proudly, Vaughn said, "That's not possible."

Will's head shot up as did the girls, "What?" Will asked.

"I said that's not possible."

Will looked astonished, "Um…ok…why?"

"Because I have Mr. Green…" Vaughn smirked, "Mrs. Peacock is the murderer, with the Candlestick, in the Study…"

Sydney and Francie looked to Will, who opened the envelope. The cards that he brought out were: Mrs. Peacock, the Candlestick, and the Study.

Sydney squealed again, "Vaughn! You are so awesome! You totally beat Will! I don't think anyone has ever beat Will at Clue!" She rushed over to kiss him, leaving an astonished looking Will.

Francie moved over and kissed him on the cheek, "Can't win 'em all sweetie!"

Will's look traveled over to Sydney and Vaughn, and Sydney was positively beaming, "Vaughn beat Will…Vaughn beat Will…" she sang, and soon, Will was smiling too.

"Way to go man! Actually, I'd rather lose to you!" He came over and shook Vaughn's hand.

Vaughn smiled back as Sydney jumped around Vaughn's chair chanting, "Vaughn beat Will! Vaughn beat Will!"

"Well…" Will started, "Wanna play another game? I can beat Mike at something else!"

"Sure you can," Sydney said. "Let's play Trivial Pursuit!" she said animatedly as she helped Vaughn back into his sling.

Will groaned, "Aw…come on! I lose one game and I have to play that! Smart people crap? I always lose that one!"

"Well," Sydney said gleaming, "At least you'll continue your current trend!"

Will gave her an unsatisfied look and she stuck out her tongue.

Francie got up to get the game and dished out the game pieces. They rolled the die, and Sydney rolled the highest number to go first, then Vaughn, then Will, then Francie. Sydney landed on a Geography space and Will asked the question, "What two countries is Andorra nestled between?"

Sydney thought a moment, "Uh…France and Spain…"

Will flipped the card and looked at the answer, "I hate this game," he said.

Sydney squeaked and grabbed her blue wedge to add to her game token. "My turn again!" she said proudly.

She rolled the die and ended up on an orange space, Sports and Leisure. Will grabbed another card and read, "What are the three Alpine skiing events?"

Sydney thought a moment, "Downhill, cross country, and…I don't know."

Will smiled, "OH! I'm sorry, that's incorrect, the correct answer is 'Downhill, giant slalom, and slalom. Mike's turn!"

Vaughn rolled the die and ended up on an American Literature space. Francie read the question this time, "Who were the Three Musketeers?"

Vaughn wasted no time answering, "Athos, Porthos, and Aramis."

"Correct!" Francie said, putting a brown wedge in Vaughn's token.

Sydney looked over at Vaughn, "If you wouldn't have got that one, I would have hit you."

"It was an easy one," he said shrugging. He rolled again and ended up on a History space.

Francie grabbed the card and read, "Where were Omaha, Juno and Gold beaches?"

Vaughn didn't miss a beat, "Normandy, France."

Francie turned the card over, "Correct! Yellow wedge for Michael!"

Sydney looked at him again, "You know, that one wasn't the least bit fair…"

"Sorry…" Vaughn offered and then rolled again; he landed on a Science and Nature space.

Sydney picked a card this time and read, "Ok Vaughn…seriously…you're getting all the easy questions…What drug was named for Morpheus, the Greek god of dreams?"

Vaughn smiled, "Morphine…and what a wonderful drug it is…"

Sydney smiled, adding a green wedge to Vaughn's token. "Ok, you suck…"

Vaughn smiled and rolled again, and landed on a Geography space.

Will picked the next card, "This game is going to be over in no time, then we can play something less academic!" He read, "What famed London criminal court was once a feudal castle?"

Vaughn thought for a moment, "I have no…clue!"

Will gave him a look and the girls giggled again.

"Ennn! I'm sorry, Mr. Smarty, that's not the correct answer. The correct answer is: The Old Bailey."

Now it was Will's turn. He rolled the die and landed on an orange space.

Sydney grabbed a card and handed it to Vaughn. He read, "Who was…oh man, you better get this one…who was the first major league baseball player to have his number retired?"

Will smiled, "Lou Gehrig!" He stood up and did a little dance, "Orange pie piece for Will, oh yeah, oh yeah…"

He sat back down and rolled again. He landed on a pink space. Francie read, "Who played…oh God…who played the original Charlie's Angels?"

Will smiled again and sighed, "Ahh…that would be the lovely Jaclyn Smith, Kate Jackson and Farrah Fawcett."

Francie disgustingly handed him a pink wedge. He cockily rolled again and landed on a yellow space. He cringed as Sydney grabbed the card and read, "Who said: 'The victor will never be asked if he told the truth?"

Will thought a moment, "I have no idea."

Sydney smiled, "Adolf Hitler…"

"Wow," Will said, "What an asshole."

It was now Francie's turn. She rolled the die eagerly and landed on a pink space. Vaughn read, "Who was Elvis Presley's manager?"

She smiled, "Colonel Tom Parker."

"Tell the lady what she's won Will!"

Will handed her a pink wedge. She rolled again and landed on a blue space. Will read the question: "What's the largest province in Canada?"

She thought a moment, "British Columbia?"

Will looked at the back, "That's what I would have said, but it's Quebec."

Sydney rolled and landed on an American Literature space and clapped. Francie grabbed the card and read, "What was Edward Albee's first full-length play?"

Sydney answered, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"

"Correct!" Francie said handing Sydney a brown wedge. She rolled again and landed on a yellow space. Vaughn read the card, "Who was awarded the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize with Le Duc Tho?"

"I have no idea whatsoever," Sydney said.

"Henry Kissinger."

Vaughn rolled and landed on an orange space. Sydney read the card, "What was Willie Mosconi famed for shooting?"

"Pocket billiards," he answered without hesitation.

"Ok…that is so not fair Vaughn!"

He smiled, "Can't help it if I get the ones I know!"

She put an orange wedge in his token. He rolled again and he landed on a blue space. Will grabbed the card, "What river flows past the Temple of Karnak?"

Vaughn thought a moment, "The Nile?"

Will looked up, "Is that your final answer?"

"Yes Regis…"

"Correct," he put a blue wedge in Vaughn's token. He only needed a pink wedge to complete the token and then answer the game winning question.

He rolled onto a brown space. Francie took the card, "What Emily Bronte novel features Heathcliff?"

Sydney rolled her eyes and sighed. Vaughn smiled, "Wuthering Heights."

Since he answered correctly, Francie filled the last remaining open wedge and Vaughn rolled again. He didn't get to the center however, meaning it was Will's turn. Will rolled onto a yellow space. Sydney grabbed the card, "What was the verdict in the trial of Lizzy Borden?"

"Not guilty?" Will said somewhat unsure.

"That's right," Sydney said, and he rolled again, landing on a green space.

Vaughn fielded the question, "What is 400 in Roman numerals?"

"Aw man!" Will said, "Uh…CXV…I don't know."

Vaughn smiled, "CD."

Francie rolled and landed on a brown space. Sydney grabbed the card, "Who defined the Beat Generation?"

"Jack Kerouac."

"Correct," Sydney said as Francie rolled again, landing on a yellow space. Will read the question, "Who defended the Boston Strangler?"

"Hmm…no idea."

"F. Lee Bailey!" Will shouted laughing.

Sydney rolled and landed on an orange space. Vaughn read the question, "What are the team colors of the Boston Celtics?"

"Green and white," Sydney said confidently.

"That's correct," Vaughn said smiling. She rolled again and landed on a yellow space. Francie read, "What mausoleum did Mogul Shah Jahan build to the memory of his favorite wife?"

"The Taj Mahal."

Sydney rolled again and landed on a pink space. Will read, "What film has Cary Grant being attacked by a biplane crop duster…uh! That is so easy."

"North by Northwest." Sydney answered, and rolled to a brown space.

Vaughn asked the question, "Who was King Lear's favorite daughter?"

Sydney smiled, "Cordelia."

"That's right," he said smiling. She rolled again, and landed directly in the middle of the board. She beamed at her friends.

Will smiled evilly, "Yeah, but we pick the category…" he looked to Francie and whispered something and then moved to whisper to Vaughn. Then he sat. "We've decided on Sports and Leisure."

"Aw, you guys suck!"

Will smiled evilly again and handed Vaughn the card. He read, "What is the first shot in a billiards game called?" He smiled widely at her.

She smiled back, "Thank you Mr. Vaughn for all the teaching, that would be 'the break.'"

Vaughn held out his hand to her which she eagerly took as he said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner."

Will echoed an earlier statement, "I hate this game…I'm glad it's over. NO surprise whatsoever on who won that round!"

Vaughn just beamed at Sydney as they kissed passionately. "What do I win Mr. Vaughn?"

He smiled, "Well…we'll have to give you your prize later."

"I can wait," she said, "What should we play next?"

Francie answered, "Dinner!"

Will smiled, "Sure, I'll get the coals started…you guys can play something while I'm gone."

Francie got up, "I'll get the meat out…"


	54. The Cook Out

**Chapter 54: The Cook Out **

_"Food is the most primitive form of comfort." – Sheila Graham _

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." – J. R. R. Tolkien

* * *

With Will and Francie both indisposed with dinner preparation; that left Sydney and Vaughn to themselves. She moved back over to sit on the chair with him and smiled. 

"That was really fun…you gave me quite a run for my money Mr. Vaughn."

He smiled back, "Wanna play again?"

"Um, no…"

"Afraid you'll lose this time?"

"Why don't we play something else?"

"I can think of something else we can play."

"Down boy," she said smiling. She got up and came back with a box. "How about Othello? Do you know how to play?"

"Sydney…give me some credit here…yes, I know how to play."

She smiled, "Ok…"

She set the board up and laid it on Vaughn's lap. She made the first move and they both went into deep concentration mode. Sydney smiled when she saw a few forehead wrinkles appear on Vaughn's face as he strategized his next move. Sydney was more impressed with Michael Vaughn everyday. It seemed today was his day for him to strut his gaming ability, since he whipped her butt on the first game of Othello. She set up another board and checked the grill to see if the smoke was going to start coming over soon. They played another round, with Vaughn once again kicking her butt before the smoke got too thick for Sydney's liking. Vaughn didn't protest when Sydney insisted that they move farther into the lawn. Will and Sydney moved Vaughn while Francie moved the chair, until they were what Sydney deemed as a safe distance away from the harmful fumes and smoke.

Will looked particularly pleased and at home at the grill, the power of the meal at his fingertips. He was twirling the tongs in a silly manner until the flames rose and he was forced to really pay attention to what he was doing. Francie brought the meat out and Will set to grilling it. They both stood by the grill, talking until Francie disappeared to prepare the rest of the meal. By the time the meat was ready, Sydney had yet to beat Vaughn at Othello and she smiled as they moved the other chairs and the table closer to Vaughn, instead of making him move back towards the grill.

She watched Vaughn intently for a minute when he attempted to sit himself up more, and winced. She didn't want to hover, especially since he seemed to be doing so well today, but the wince that she saw warranted a comment from her, "Vaughn, you ok?"

"Yeah…I think I could use the pills though…"

"Oh my God! I didn't give them to you at lunch! What the hell was I thinking?" She ran off into the house, almost knocking Will over. He looked at Vaughn for an answer, but Sydney was back before he could even ask. She grabbed Vaughn's hand and deposited the pills in it.

"God, Vaughn. I am so sorry! I don't know what I was thinking! I wasn't…that's obvious."

Vaughn looked up at her, "Hey…it's ok…I really didn't need them until right now. It's ok that you were having fun Sydney…you don't always have to worry about my pain levels. I was fine…I was having fun too. Ok?"

She smiled at him, "Well, yeah, but that's no excuse to forget your medication!"

He smiled at her, "Really, it's ok…I'm ok…"

She took a deep breath, "Good."

Will and Francie looked at each other, nodding, crisis averted, and handed Vaughn and Sydney their plates. Will had grilled steaks and Francie had whipped up mashed potatoes. There was also fresh fruit on the plates and Vaughn smiled when he saw that Francie had cut up his steak and the fruit for him already. He looked over at her and she winked back. Will had left momentarily and came back with drinks, which Vaughn also smiled at when he realized Will was carrying four glasses of milk.

"You know guys, you can have something else…you can have a beer or something, you don't have to go cold turkey for the millions of months that I can't have beer."

They all smiled at Vaughn, and Will said, "Millions of months? Really? I can't have beer for millions of months?"

Vaughn smiled back, "You know what I meant."

"We know…and really, I don't mind," Will said.

Francie and Sydney both nodded their agreement.

"Ok…but just know you can, alright?"

They all nodded again and everyone started eating.

"This is so good guys," Vaughn said between mouthfuls. "Seriously, if I'd have known you two cooked this well, I'd have gotten injured a long time ago. A guy could really get used to this!"

"Thanks Michael," Francie said as Will nodded his thanks as well.

"I bet the food at the restaurant is even better," Michael added.

Francie blushed as Sydney and Will looked over at her and agreed. "I try," she said.

After the meal, Francie and Will cleaned up the plates and left Sydney and Vaughn alone again.

"Sydney?" Vaughn asked.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that Francie and Will are getting tired of doing all the cooking work and stuff and are just too nice to say anything?"

Sydney looked to Vaughn, "No sweetie, I don't think they are tired of doing it. They usually did it anyway, even if it was just us. Actually, Will would do it, the cleaning, most of the time because Francie made the meal, and I'd help out whenever. Really Vaughn, I don't think they mind. They have to eat anyway too."

"I know, but…well…I don't do anything around here…"

"That's ok Vaughn…you're recuperating."

"Yeah, but still, I'm here, I should do something to help out."

"You will honey, just not right now, ok? Give yourself a break, remember? Everyone else is."

He smiled, "You know, after I'm better, I'm going to have to be everyone's slave for like eons."

"Mmm…I could get used to that," Sydney said as she moved to the chair and laid her hands on his chest. "I could get used to that very easily." She moved up and kissed him, "You would have to be at my beck and call at all hours of the day," she added another kiss, "do whatever I wanted," another kiss, "wherever," another kiss, "anytime," another kiss, "I could so boss you around."

"But you already do that," he said with a wicked smile.

"Oh…is that how you want to play it? Well in that case, you'll never be in charge again!" She moved back and removed her hands from his chest, crossing them instead across her chest.

"Aw…I'm sorry…feel free to boss me at anytime."

She looked down at him, his eyebrows raised in helpless anticipation of her response. She made him squirm a little longer, pouting, and then moved back down, replacing her hands on his chest.

"Well, alright…" she said sighing. "You better watch yourself…or else you'll be in trouble."

"Ooo…trouble? I think I might like trouble…"

"I know you would," she said with a final kiss before Will and Francie reemerged from the kitchen.

"So, what do you guys wanna play now? I hear Mike totally kicked your ass in Othello…" Will said smiling.

"You know Will, you seem to like the idea of me losing more than you should."

"Well…can you blame me brainiac?"

"No, if you've got it…flaunt it…" she said with her chin high in the air.

Will laughed, "Cards?"

Sydney looked to Vaughn asking with her eyes, "Sure..." he said smiling. She moved to take his arm out of the sling again so he could hold the cards and everyone got in a sort of circle.

Will asked, "What card game should we play? Poker?" he said expectantly.

Francie shot him down, "No."

"Fine…then what?"

Francie smiled, "Rummy?"

"What kind?" Sydney asked.

"Gin?"

"Sure…" Sydney said.

Will looked to Vaughn, "Now we have to play chick cards too…just know…if you say Bridge, I'm quitting…"

Vaughn just smiled as Will started dealing. Sydney was once again impressed with Vaughn, as he seemed quite resourceful holding onto all of his cards, even with a total of four broken fingers. If he wanted a card or needed to discard one, he would hand it to Sydney or she would hand him a new one. It worked out quite well. They played several hands; no one in particular seemed to be the card shark. Once they were bored with that game, Will suggested Uno! and they played several hands of that as well. However, once Will had lost with about 50 cards in his hand, he suggested that perhaps they move onto yet another game.

"How about Bullshit?" Vaughn asked.

Will heartily agreed, "Yeah! Totally, let's play that."

Francie and Sydney agreed and Will once again dealt the cards. Sydney actually inwardly loved this game because since she was a spy, she was an excellent people-reader, and she could always tell when either Will or Francie were lying. She was interested to see if she could peg Vaughn to lying as well.

Will started, saying he had one 2 and Sydney bullshitted him before the card was even on the table.

He looked shocked, but put the card back into his hand. Sydney went next, laying down one 3 and then Vaughn laid down one 4. Francie laid down two 5's and Will bullshitted her. She lifted the cards and gave them to Will; she hadn't been lying.

"Shit," he said. "One 6."

Sydney could tell he was telling the truth and said, "One 7."

Vaughn said, "One 8."

Francie said, "One 9."

Play went on for several more rotations, and Sydney tried to read Vaughn's expressions when he laid down his cards, but she found that she thought he was telling the truth the whole time. She guessed that it was possible that he'd had all the cards he'd said, but she started to wonder if he was better at lying than she thought.

It was her turn and she deliberately lied, seeing if Vaughn would say anything, but he didn't.

Then it was her turn and he laid down his cards. She couldn't resist, she looked at him and said, "Bullshit."

Everyone looked rather shocked; Vaughn's eyebrows went up and he said, "Check them out."

Sydney turned over the cards, and found that he had told the truth. She smiled and took the cards.

Play continued. Sydney blatantly lied again and this time Vaughn said, "Bullshit."

She smiled and took the cards. Vaughn only had one card left. He laid it down and everyone stopped. Sydney was debating as to whether or not to call him on it, but then she didn't. Francie started to go but Sydney couldn't resist, "Vaughn, was that really a 4?"

He smiled, "What do you think?"

"I don't know," she said honestly.

"Are you afraid that I can lie really well?"

"No, I'm just curious…"

"Pick it up then," Vaughn offered.

The other two stayed silent as Sydney turned over the card. It was a 9. She looked to Vaughn whose smile had widened and one eyebrow was still raised.

"You lied," she said.

"That's the name of the game honey…are you mad because I won or because you weren't sure I was telling the truth?"

"Uh…do you guys want us to leave for a few minutes?" Will said sensing a topic that was not something they needed to get involved in.

"No," Sydney said, "It's ok…I'm not mad…" Sydney said addressing Vaughn again. "I'm just concerned that you're better at hiding things than I thought you were…"

"You lied too…" he reminded her.

"Yeah…" she agreed.

"You lied more than I said you did," he added.

Will and Francie exchanged glances but kept silent.

"Are you afraid you're losing your touch reading people?"

"No, but I'm afraid that I don't read you as well as I should."

"It's only a game Sydney," Vaughn also reminded Sydney.

"I know…" she moved her attention back to Will and Francie, "Let's just finish this round."

The game continued, but all the players seem to notice a tension in the air.

Eventually, Francie lost and Will pranced around because at least he beat someone.

It was getting darker out and the couples just sat in relative silence for a while, looking at the stars and enjoying the peace of the evening.

At about 9:00, Sydney realized that they hadn't done any exercises since that morning, "Vaughn, we need to do your exercises before we go to bed."

"Alright," he said.

"Let's go inside first," she added.

"Ok."

Will moved to help the couple get Vaughn inside, and they deposited him in the bed. Will left and Francie met him at the door, saying goodnight, Will promising to take care of the dog before going to bed himself.

"Thanks for the great day guys," Vaughn said as the two left.

"You bet! It was really a lot of fun, we've got to do it again soon," Francie said and then they left, shutting the door.

Sydney was very quiet as she helped Vaughn with the crunches. She really wasn't looking at him either. She made him do a few extra crunches because he'd skipped the other ones for the day.

After the crunches she finally looked at him saying, "If you're tired, we can skip the standing, you did enough of that today moving in and out of the house."

"We can stand," he said.

She nodded and helped him stand. He seemed less dizzy, and he didn't lean on her shoulder. He looked right at her face and finally she was forced to look him in the eyes. The jade fires pleaded with her to tell her what was going on. She looked at him for a few seconds, but then looked away. She helped him sit again and began removing his clothes and putting on his pajamas. He stopped her hands, "What's going on Sydney?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing, it's nothing…"

"Sydney…"

"What?"

"Didn't we agree that communication was best? Doesn't that work both ways?"

She nodded tiredly.

"So…" he prodded.

"I don't know Vaughn. I guess I thought I could read you better than that."

"Is this still about the stupid Bullshit game?"

"It's not about the game Vaughn…it's about that communication…if you can lie to me during a game, how do I know you haven't been lying to me about other things?"

"What you think I made up the shit they did you me?"

"No! No…that's not what I meant…" she sighed.

"Sydney, you lied during the game too…I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this."

"How do I know when you tell me you're ok that you aren't bullshitting just to make me feel better?"

"Sydney, you're confusing two completely different things here. Bullshit is a game where the object is to lie well…it's not like it's going to translate into real life. I don't lie to you…not in real time."

She looked at him again, looking into his eyes, trying to find any sign of untruth. His jade embers didn't waver in the least looking into her chocolate brown orbs. She smiled, "Ok…I'm sorry, I just worry that you won't tell me everything because you don't want it to hurt me or you don't want to burden me with it."

"Well…I don't tell you like every thought that crosses my mind Sydney, that would drive you nuts. If I need to talk, I do…ok?"

"Yeah…"

"I don't ask you if you're telling me the truth when I ask if everything is too much for you. I trust that you'd tell me if it was, even if I worry, I still trust you."

"I know…I trust you too…I just…I just have this feeling that you hold stuff back…and when I can see, even in a game, that you can lie about something, it only serves to confirm fears that I might have."

"Sydney, I tell you everything…"

"Do you?" she asked seriously.

"Everything I need to say…if I have something to say, I'll say it, ok?"

"Ok…"

"Are we ok now?"

She smiled, "Yeah, we're always ok Vaughn…" She leaned down to kiss him, leaning him back on the pillow and leaving his pajama top unbuttoned. She laid her head on his chest as his arm moved around to lie on her back.

"I'm sorry Vaughn…I didn't mean to sound like I don't trust you…I just worry about you."

"I know…I worry about you too." He could feel her smile and she leaned up again to kiss him.

She got up for a minute and turned off the lights, quickly changed out of her clothes and came back to the bed. She lay down again on Vaughn's chest and the two fell asleep in a contented embrace.


	55. PostCheckupSydney Bristow, personal t

**P/N: **Sorry about the delay of update, but my computer crashed. I am updating this during school in my computer class waiting to be caught by my teacher. Enjoy!

**Chapter 55: Post-Check-up/Sydney Bristow, personal trainer **

_"Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win." – Jonathan Kazol _

"Whoa, stop this crazy whirligig of fun, I'm dizzy." – Xander Harris (Buffy, the Vampire Slayer)

* * *

When Sydney woke the next morning, she left Vaughn quietly to sleep in. She decided that after a rather haphazard day of care the previous day that she should set up a schedule. She got out her notes and set to work. 

She set up a whole regiment so Vaughn would be able to have some kind of routine to follow over the course of Week 2 on the Road to Recovery. She figured it would be easier if he exercised at certain times of the day instead of just whenever. The bandages were easier to manage now, since the most any of them had to be changed was once a day. The regiment would start when he got up. They'd have breakfast, take off the rib wrap and do the deep breathing, and then start the first set of crunches for the day. Then, they'd follow that up every two hours, with the same procedure – rib wrap, deep breathing, crunches. She decided it would be easiest at 8:30, 10:30, 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, and 6:30. Every other crunches set, they'd also stand and exercise his ankle (10:30, 2:30, 6:30). If he got up later one day, they could alter the times slightly, but always at 2-hour intervals so Vaughn could be consistent.

She smiled at her notes proudly, wondering if it was too anal to actually have a schedule for everything, but she realized then that this was Vaughn's health that she held in her hands, and no amount of scheduling or anything would be 'too anal.'

Sydney was just about to get herself a glass of juice when she could hear Vaughn stir in the bedroom. She padded into the room, smiling at him as he yawned.

"Hey sleepy," she said.

"Hey beautiful," he answered.

She sat down and he noticed she had a piece of paper in her hand, "What's that?"

"This is a schedule," she said handing it to him. "See…I have it all plotted out so that we can have some kind of routine for you every day. I figured it would be easier to keep up if we did stuff at a similar time every day, then we'll get into a pattern and it'll be easier to stay with it."

"Oh, yay!" he said unenthusiastically, "You mean I have to exercise like right when I get up?"

"You can eat first," she offered.

"Thanks…" he said looking more closely at the sheet. "Seriously, this is very detailed, very organized…" he smiled. "It's gonna suck, but it's highly organized."

She leaned down and kissed him, "Nothing is too much for your health. Oh and by the way," she said extending her hand out to him, "My name is Sydney Bristow, and I'll be your personal trainer…"

He smiled, took her hand and pulled her down for another quick kiss, "Just as long as you aren't anyone else's trainer…You know there's one flaw."

She grabbed the sheet looking wildly at it, "Where! Where! What'd I miss?"

He chuckled, "You left out significant time for S.H. I think that should be on the sheet somewhere, like for instance," he continued taking the sheet back, "right here at 8:00, 11:00, 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00, and then added on also at 9:00 and 11:00 PM." He smiled.

"That's a lot of S.H. You sure you can keep up with me?"

"Uh…sure…"

"Maybe we should tone it down to a few less…huh?" she smiled back.

He thought a moment, "We could always just pencil them in and then if we miss one, it won't be an official miss."

"Good idea," she said kissing him again. "So you want breakfast? Then we can start your exercises."

"Ok…but what about the penciled in S.H. we have scheduled for right now?"

She smirked, "It'll have to wait awhile…"

"Aw…"

"I know…it's tough…I'll be back in a few minutes," she said getting off the bed.

"Can you leave the sheet here? I want to put some pencil notes in there."

She smiled and kept going.

She filled Donovan's food and water dishes and then she came back in a few minutes with a tray of food. They ate and joked about her schedule and then Sydney cleared away the dishes before coming back to start the exercises.

"Ok, rib wrap off, time for deep breathing."

Vaughn nodded his acceptance of his fate and let her remove the wrap. She forgot his pills and was going off to go get them, but he stopped her, "Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay until I'm done?"

She looked at him curiously, brow furrowed, but moved back to the bed. She said jokingly, "Did you forget how to breathe?"

"No…but I like it better when you breathe with me."

"Oh…" she smiled.

He smiled back and grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest. "That's supposed to there…"

"Got it," she said, her smile continuing to grow. She had forgotten that most times he did this, she rather automatically breathed with him, and realized that maybe it was easier if he could do it with someone else.

Once they were done she changed his bandages and put the rib wrap back on.

"Ok…crunch time…"

He groaned but reached out his hand as she sat on his legs. She pulled him up and counted and then eased him down. They were doing the last one and he winced.

"You ok?"

"Mmm…yeah, I think so…that one hurt…"

She eased him down, lying with him.

He closed his eyes and lay still. Sydney realized that she hadn't given him his pills yet.

"Vaughn, let me go get your pills…"

"Alright."

She got up and was in the kitchen when she heard him. She knew instantly what it was and grabbed the morphine from the counter. She ran back in to find him in the throws of a muscle spasm.

"I'm here, morphine's here too!" She gave him the morphine and sat down on the bed, one hand running through his damp hair and the other running over his ribs. His movements slowed and his hand flexed as the muscles relaxed.

"You ok?" she asked gently.

"Yep," he answered still out of breath.

"At least I can get to you quicker now…"

"Uh huh…"

She was silent, just keeping up her motions, waiting for him to let her know when she could stop.  
It took several minutes before he looked at her again, and when he did, her gaze softened even further.

"I'm sorry Vaughn."

"It's not your fault."

"Well…if we didn't have to do the exercises, you probably wouldn't get those."

"Yeah, and I wouldn't move ever again either."

"Well…yeah…"

He smiled, "You kinda get used to them after awhile…they aren't as scary anymore. At least now I know what they are."

She smiled down at him. "You rest…ok? We'll wait with the standing…"

"Thanks."

She kissed him on the cheek and left for a moment, coming back with his pills. "I know you don't like it when you mix all the medications, but I think you should still take these for the inflammation and everything."

"Ok."

She lifted his head and helped him down the pills, then covered him up and left him to rest.

She let him sleep past his 10:30 exercise session, but when it reached noon, he needed to take his pills, so she came back in to wake him up.

She roused him after a few moments, and he looked groggily up at her.

"Hey…sorry to wake you honey, but you have to take your pills."

"Mmm…ok."

She lifted his head again and she helped him down them once again.

She stayed on the bed watching him for a few minutes, waiting to see if he'd fall back to sleep, but he seemed awake.

"You wanna get up?" she asked.

"Ok…are we going on the couch?"

"Uh…well…it's Monday so, Will and Francie went to work…it's just us today…I'd have to get you out there by myself…"

"Oh…"

"We can try it…"

"Ok…"

"Let's go slow though, we don't want another muscle spasm…"

She moved to sit on his legs and pulled him up, trying to keep him as balanced as possible. Once he was sitting, she moved to swing his legs off the bed and then pulled him up to stand in front of her. She waited a few minutes to let him adjust to standing.

"Ok…let's try to just take one step, ok?"

"Mmmhmm."

She moved backwards, taking one step and hanging on to his right arm and his left elbow. She knew she was supposed to hang onto the sling, but it would be better to have him hurt his shoulder slightly than fall down entirely. She waited patiently as he moved towards her, stepping gingerly on his ankle. Once he reached her, she moved her hand to his waist and tightened her grip on him. Donovan circled around their feet; barking and seemingly very happy that Vaughn was walking.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"You wanna keep going or should we get you back to the bed?"

"Let's just keep going…"

Sydney was unsure if they should really be doing this, but she moved backwards, taking her time, making sure he took his own time too.

They were about halfway to the couch when Vaughn stopped, "Sydney?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I need to stop for a minute."

"Ok…" she moved closer to him, gripping him at the waist again, supporting his frame. His eyes closed momentarily. Donovan continued to circle like a vulture.

"You ok?"

"Dizzy…and I kind of feel like I'm gonna be sick."

"Uh…ok…" Sydney searched for something else to do and say, "Come here…" she pulled his head down until it was on her shoulder again and she moved one of her hands to his back. She moved it in circles, trying to help him feel better.

After a few minutes he said, "I think we should just keep going before I pass out."

"Oh God! Ok…Donovan! Sit!" The dog immediately stopped, obeying.

She tried to go as slow as she could, but he wasn't looking very good. She sped him up slightly when they were closer to the couch and pretty much plopped him on the couch when they got there. He let out a groan and closed his eyes, letting his head fall on the back of the couch.

Sydney moved next to him, placing her hand on his chest, "Vaughn? Are you ok?"

"I think I should lie down."

"Yeah, sure." She moved her other hand to the back of his neck and eased him back on the couch. "Do you need to get sick?"

"I don't think so…not right now."

"Ok…tell me if you do." She sat with him, until she realized that his breathing was very choppy.

"Shit Vaughn, I totally forgot your oxygen." She bolted to the bedroom, almost colliding with the still sitting Donovan, and came back with it, placing it hurriedly under his nose and turning it back on, giving him a little more than he usually had. Once his breathing reached a semi-normal level, she turned it back down.

"How are you doin' baby?" Sydney asked as she ran a hand through Vaughn's hair.

He opened his eyes and smiled, "I'm ok Syd."

"Are you really?"

"Yeah…it was just…a little too much I think."

"I know, I never should have agreed to do it…I'm sorry."

"Hey, I'm the one who thought we should do it in the first place, we got here, it's ok."

"I think you should just rest now for the rest of the day."

"What no more 'My name is Sydney Bristow and I'll be your personal trainer?'"

"No, not today…"

"I think I'm ok…maybe we can try some more crunches later tonight."

"Ok…but you rest now…"

"Ok." Donovan moved then and lay down by the foot of the couch.

Sydney left him on the couch to rest and went about business she had for the day. She went into the bedroom and decided to call her dad.

"Hello?"

"Hi dad, it's me."

"Hello sweetheart, how are you?"

"I'm good."

"And Vaughn? Are you taking care of each other?"

"Yeah dad, we are."

"Good."

"I wanted to thank you again for the other night, it was so nice what you said to both of us…I really appreciated it."

"It was something I should have said a long time ago…"

"Anyway, I also wanted to ask you, I know we had talked about bringing some work over here…and well, Vaughn rests a lot, so there isn't a whole lot for me to do when he's resting. Do you think you could talk to Kendall and maybe bring some stuff over for me to work on?"

"Sure Sydney, do you want me to stop by later?"

"Sure…if you can get it that fast…"

"I can."

Sydney smiled, "Ok dad…I'll see you later then."

"Do you want me to bring dinner again?"

"Sure…uh…I'm not sure if Francie and Will will be here though."

"I can bring enough for everyone…just let me know what I should bring. How about I call you when it's closer to dinnertime?"

"That sounds great dad."

"Ok…goodbye sweetheart."

"Bye dad."

She hung up the phone and smiled widely. Two conversations with her father that didn't end in her extremely pissed at him. He was actually acting like a real dad; it was a nice change.


	56. Dinner for Five

**Chapter 56: Dinner for Five **

_"Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." – Albert Camus _

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." – Carl Jung

* * *

Sydney moved back out into the living room and checked on Vaughn. He was resting comfortably and she watched him for a few minutes. Then she got up and got her book, and sat back down in a chair across from Vaughn. She read for the next few hours, finishing her book just as Francie and Will walked in the door. She looked at her watch. It was almost 5:00. 

She jumped up quickly and soundlessly bolted to the door, putting her finger to her mouth to tell her friends to be quiet. The dog moved to see the commotion but lay back down when he saw whom it was.

They quieted immediately and followed her into the kitchen.

"Sorry…I hate to tell you to be quiet in your own house, but Vaughn's sleeping."

"Nah! That's ok…don't worry about it. What did you do, wear him out?" Will asked with a  
smile.

"No…we walked to the couch and it didn't go so well."

"Just the two of you?" Will asked surprised.

"Yeah…I shouldn't have let him do it. He already had a muscle spasm before that, it was pretty stupid."

"Is he ok?" Francie asked.

"Yeah, he says he is…he's slept most of the day…it was actually pretty scary…"

"Oh, Syd," Francie said hugging her friend. "You know you could have called one of us, we could have ran home quick."

"No, that's silly…Vaughn and I can handle it…it was just a little too soon I think. Even he admitted it…"

"Poor Mike," Will said, but it wasn't a statement of pity.

"At any rate, I called my dad to talk to him about work and he offered to bring dinner over."

"Your dad?" Francie and Will both said dumbfounded.

"Yeah…oh! I didn't get a chance to tell you guys. He came over the same day that Eric stopped by. Anyway, I was just as shocked as you were, but it only got stranger from there…he…he acted like a real dad. It was scary…he said that what happened to Vaughn made him realize how fragile things are…and everything he hasn't done or said, so he pretty much said it all then…and it was really nice."

"Wow…Syd that's great!" Will and Francie said in unison.

"Yeah, he was really great to Vaughn too."

"Good!" Francie added.

"So anyway, I'm supposed to call him when you guys got home to see what you wanted and then he'll pick it up."

"Great!" Francie said.

"First, I have to wake Vaughn up though and give him his pills. I think I'll let him decide what to get, is that ok? I don't want him to have anything like really spicy or anything…"

"Sure," Will said.

"That's fine," Francie agreed.

"Ok…I'll be back."

Sydney walked off to the living room and sat down on the couch next to Vaughn. He moved slightly but didn't wake. She laid her hand on his chest and moved it delicately. "Vaughn?" she said.

"Mmm…"

"Hey, sweetie you have to wake up now and take your pills…it's almost time for dinner."

He opened his eyes slowly and focused on Sydney. "Hey."

"Hi…here, take your pills," she said, lifting him up to take them. "How are you doin'?"

"I'm ok…"

"Good…my dad wants to bring dinner over again and he's gonna bring some work over too…what do you want him to bring?"

"I don't care…"

"Well…how about some non-spicy Chinese?"

"Ok."

"Ok…I'll call him and he'll bring it over. You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired."

"Ok…rest some more then…"

He nodded as she moved off and went back into the kitchen. Will and Francie were still there, talking quietly.

"He agreed to Chinese, what do you guys want?"

Sydney called Jack who took the order and promised an arrival time shortly. The three friends sat in the kitchen and waited, leaving Vaughn to rest peacefully. When the doorbell rang, Sydney got up to answer and helped her father carry in the various boxes of food. They unpacked the stuff in the kitchen and then carried it into the living room. Vaughn had somehow managed to sleep through the doorbell and Sydney roused him gently again to eat.

She handed him his plate but he really didn't move to eat. Everyone else started digging in and Will and Francie actually had a conversation with Jack Bristow.

Sydney noticed that Vaughn wasn't eating. "Hey, you ok?" she asked him quiet enough so no one else would hear.

"Yeah…I'm just really tired Syd. I'm sorry."

"No, it's ok…" she hesitated, "Do you want me to help you tonight?"

He nodded, and Sydney knew he must have been feeling pretty crappy to have her help him. Her brow furrowed in concern, but she tried to stay balanced so Vaughn wouldn't suspect too much. She gave him a spoonful of rice and then took a bite of her own. Francie met her gaze and gave her a questioning look, but Sydney shook her head in an 'I'll tell you later' sort of way. Francie nodded her acceptance and went on conversing with Jack. Vaughn didn't eat much and Sydney's concern mounted.

Jack seemed to notice his daughter's concern and asked, "Is everything alright Sydney?"

She turned to her father, "Yeah, Vaughn's not feeling so well right now."

"That's unfortunate…" he moved over so he could see Vaughn.

Vaughn looked up at Jack, "Hey," he said weakly.

"Hello Michael. Not feeling so well?"

"No, not really…"

"Pity…Francie and Will were just telling me how well you beat my daughter yesterday playing a certain game of strategy…I was hoping we might have a go at it."

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah, I pretty much kicked her butt."

"Yes, he did," Sydney agreed smiling.

"Well," Jack said, "You think you feel well enough to play a game with the best game theorist around?"

"Yeah, I think I can do that."

Will ran off to get the game and Jack moved a kitchen chair over so he could be the same height as a reclining Vaughn on the couch. Sydney moved to sit in a chair next to Francie. Will brought the game in and Jack set it up. He held the board and would move it for Vaughn whenever it was his turn. The room fell into a deep concentration. Will and Francie and Sydney watched in silence as the two plotted and strategized their moves. When the first game was over, no one really knew who had won. Jack counted the pieces and smiled, "It's a draw…"

Vaughn smiled as well, "Well, I guess it's only fitting."

"Rematch?" Jack asked.

"Maybe another day…" Vaughn said weakly.

"Of course," Jack said understanding. He moved the chair back to the kitchen and Sydney sat down on the couch. Jack came back in and sat in the chair that Sydney had vacated exchanging glances with concerned Will and Francie.

Sydney put her hand on Vaughn's head. "I think you have a fever honey."

He nodded, "Feels like it too…"

"Let's get you to bed." Sydney looked to Will who jumped up and Jack got up too.

Sydney sat him up gently and then Jack moved to the spot that she usually took.

"It's ok dad, I can do it."

"Why don't you hang on to the oxygen so we don't have to unhook it."

Sydney did just that and they moved as a team into the bedroom and carefully lay Vaughn down in the bed. Once he was in the bed, they left momentarily, allowing Sydney to get him into pajamas and get him settled in the bed. She came out to find everyone standing in the hall, waiting expectantly, even Donovan, whose head was cocked to the side as if asking what was wrong with his master.

"He ok?" Will asked.

"I'm not sure…he's got a fever…I've got to get his medication, it's close enough to the time…" she moved to get the pills and Jack followed her while the other two stayed it the hall.

Jack asked, "Do you want me to stay?"

Sydney smiled, "No dad, it's ok…he'll be ok…it's just going to be a rough night. But I can handle it. Thanks for bringing dinner though, and for playing Othello with Vaughn. I'm sure he'd love it if you came over again when he's feeling better and played."

"I'll be sure to do that," Jack moved to hug his daughter, "I'll keep the work until we can discuss it another day. If you need anything, all you have to do is call, Sydney."

"I know dad, thanks."

They moved back to the hall and Will and Francie asked if there was anything they could do.

"No, I don't think so…like I was just telling my dad, it's just gonna be a rough night…but thanks for being here guys…"

"Sure."

"Well, Sydney I'll go then. Call me later when you get a chance and let me know how things are going, ok? Say goodbye to Vaughn for me…"

"Sure dad."

Jack kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye to Will and Francie and then left.

"Wow," Francie said, "it's kind of scary with your dad acting that way."

Sydney smiled, "I know…but it's nice."

"Yeah," she agreed smiling too. "You sure there's nothing we can do?"

"Could you get me a cold washcloth? That'd be a big help."

"Sure!" Francie went off to get one.

Will looked to Sydney, "You ok?"

"Yeah…I'm ok."

"Alright."

Francie came back and the three went into the room. Vaughn smiled when they entered. Sydney helped with the pills and Francie came over and put the cloth of Vaughn's head.

"Well…we're going to go to bed then…call us if you need anything."

"Ok," Sydney said.

"Goodnight," Will and Francie said as they shut the door, taking a rather pissed Donovan with them.


	57. Standing

**Chapter 57: Standing **

****

_When the night has come / And the land is dark / And the moon is the only light we see / No, I won't be afraid / Oh, I won't be afraid / Just as long as you stand / Stand by me / So darling, darling stand by me / Oh, stand by me / Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me  
If the sky that we look upon / Should tumble and fall / Or the mountains / Should crumble to the sea / I won't cry, I won't cry / No, I won't shed a tear / Just as long as you stand / Stand by me / So darling, darling stand by me / Oh, stand by me / Oh stand, stand by me, stand by me  
Whenever you're in trouble / Won't you stand by me, oh, stand by me – Ben E. King (Stand By Me) _

Oh, why you look so sad/ Tears are in your eyes / Come on and come to me now / Don't be ashamed to cry / Let me see you through / 'Cause I've sent the dark side too / When the night falls on you / You don't know what to do / Nothing you confess / Could make me love you less / I'll stand by you / I'll stand by you / Won't let nobody hurt you / I'll stand by you  
So if you're mad, get mad / Don't hold it all inside / Come on and talk to me now / Hey, What you got to hide/ I get angry too / Well I'm a lot like you / When you're standing at the crossroads / And don't know which path to choose / Let me come along / 'Cause even if you're wrong / I'll stand by you / I'll stand by you / Won't let nobody hurt you / I'll stand by you / Take me in, into your darkest hour / And I'll never desert you / I'll stand by you  
And when, when the night falls on you, baby / You're feeling all alone / You won't be on your own / I'll stand by you / I'll stand by you / Won't let nobody hurt you / I'll stand by you – The Pretenders (I'll Stand By You)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." – Groucho Marx

* * *

Sydney looked down at Vaughn sympathetically.

"I think I've taken a small step backward in my progress," Vaughn admitted.

"I know…I think the walking was a really bad idea this early. I'm sorry honey."

"It's not your fault Sydney. I wanted to do it…now we know."

"I know, but now you're all sick again. I feel bad."

"Don't," he said pleadingly.

"Does the cloth feel good?"

"Yeah."

"Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah."

"Ok…I'm going to get dressed for bed, brush and stuff…ok? You be alright?"

"I'll be here…"

"Ok," She moved the cloth and kissed his forehead, then turned it over so it would be cool again.

She got up and went to the bathroom, got ready and came back. She ran out into the kitchen to get a morphine shot just incase and Donovan trotted with her happily, thinking he'd get to come into the bedroom.

"Sorry Donny, not tonight, Vaughn isn't feeling well…" he looked at her for a minute and then trotted off, stopping in front of the bedroom, laying down next to the door and parking it there for the night. "Good boy," she said, patting his head before she went in.

"Was I gone too long?" she asked smiling.

"You're always gone too long if you're gone at all Syd."

She smiled again as she sat down on the bed. "Do you want to just go to bed, or watch some TV, I could read to you…what do you want to do?"

"We can watch some TV…"

"Ok, I'm going to get his cold again first," she said as she moved to the bathroom again and rewet the washcloth. She turned the TV on, on her way back to the bed, turned off all of the lights, got into bed, and placed the cloth back on Vaughn's forehead. Then she snuggled closer to him, sitting up so she could hold onto him tonight. He happily let her move him, thankful for the comfort.

After about a half hour, Sydney noticed Vaughn's head dropping and knew that he was starting to fall asleep. She inched down on the bed and turned the TV off with the remote. She stayed awake for a while, making sure he settled down and then turning the washcloth again. His body was hot, but he seemed to be shivering slightly, so she cuddled more with him and pulled the blanket up to his chin before allowing herself to fall asleep as well.

She felt his stirring before she heard him and somewhere in the back of her mind, she probably knew it was coming, but she couldn't make herself believe it until it actually happened.

Vaughn bolted away from her grasp and any lingering doubt as to what was happening was shattered when he yelled. His yell was followed by an intense scream of pain.

Sydney came out of her sleep and reacted instantly, "Vaughn!" She moved to help him, but the moment she touched him, he jerked away from her. She realized instantly that the room was completely dark and silently cursed herself for not leaving the light on. In the dark, there was no way Vaughn could decipher where he was or who was touching him, especially not after a nightmare.

She moved off the bed and heard a loud thump. She jumped but reached for the light and turned it on. Vaughn wasn't on the bed. She moved around the side and saw him slumped on the floor groaning.

There was a knock at the door and Sydney could hear Will's voice on the other side, "Syd?"

She couldn't move Vaughn on her own, "Will, it's open…get in here."

Will opened the door quickly, Francie in tow. Francie let out a gasp, "Oh my God! What happened?"

Will moved over to Sydney and they moved a struggling Vaughn back on the bed.

Will looked at Sydney questioningly but she was more interested in the man who was very close to rolling off the other end of the bed again.

She sent them a glance and moved over to the other side before Vaughn fell off the other end. Once she had him in the middle of the bed again, his body went rigid.

"Shit!" she said.

"What?" Will and Francie asked.

"Give me the syringe over there on the nightstand!"

Will handed it to her and she gave Vaughn the shot in record time. Once his muscles relaxed again, he got even more scared and started writhing on the bed again.

"Cloth!" Sydney yelled.

Francie searched for it, "Where is it?"

"Get a new one!" Sydney said as Francie bolted down the hall.

Will waited patiently, unsure of what to do, "Syd…do you want me to hold him down or something."

"NO!" Sydney said forcefully, then instantly regretted it, not only did Will flinch, but Vaughn moved away from her, obviously scared of the yelling. "God, Will, I'm sorry…just…don't touch him, ok?"

"Ok," Will said quietly, staying where he was.

Francie came back in with the washcloth, handing it to Sydney. She grabbed it and placed it on Vaughn's forehead. He jerked again and made an attempt to move away, but Sydney grabbed onto him.

"Vaughn…if you were back there…would they help you? Would they do this?" she tried to keep her voice steady and even, calming.

He stilled slightly, but still moved around.

"Vaughn…it's ok…you're safe…it was just a nightmare." His body was hot and Sydney could see that most of his clothes were damp. His fever must have been really high. She looked over to her friends, who were still waiting patiently for more instructions.

"There really isn't anything else you can do…except…maybe could you get a dish of cold water…then I don't have to run to the bathroom every few minutes."

"Sure…" They both ran off to get the basin of water.

Sydney looked down at Vaughn. He was shaking and still moving on the bed.

"Vaughn…just relax…it's ok…you're safe…just a nightmare…I'm here…"

He started to cry and Sydney moved to hold onto him. Will and Francie came back in and put the basin on the nightstand. Vaughn tensed when they entered and moved away from Sydney again.

"Thanks guys…"

"Sure…let us know…" They closed the door on their way out.

"Ok…they're gone…" Sydney lay down next to Vaughn, but he jerked away.

"Hey…it's me…"

He cried for a few minutes and then said, "Sydney?"

"Yeah, sweetie I'm right here…"

"How did you get here?"

"What do you mean?" Sydney asked confused.

"Did they get you too?"

She thought a moment and then understood, "No Vaughn…they didn't get me…I'm fine…you're fine too…you're not there anymore…you're safe, at home, with me…it's just the fever honey…it's making you think you're there…"

He grabbed onto her arm, "Don't leave me…"

"I won't…I'm not going anywhere."

She moved to hold onto him tighter, turning the cloth and moving the covers up to keep him warm. She held onto him until she was sure he was asleep again and then moved away, grabbing a new set of pajamas for him. She undressed and redressed him, and he didn't wake up when she did either. She contemplated calling Tom, but it was so late, and there wasn't really anything she thought that Tom could do. She sat on the bed, scared for Vaughn and herself, turning the cloth when it needed to be turned and holding onto him when he needed to be held. She made him wake up every few hours to take more medication, but he wasn't really lucid, and she doubted he would remember in the morning.

The fever finally seemed to break at about 5:00 AM and Sydney lay down then and caught a few hours of sleep until she would have to get up with Vaughn again.

She felt him stir and wondered if this was another nightmare. She was up in a second, poised for the worst, but he just looked over at her.

"Hey, are you ok?"

"I think so…" he moved his hand to his head, "I'm all wet…"

"I know…you had a really bad fever last night, it only broke a little while ago…I was really scared there for awhile."

Vaughn looked down at the bed, "Did I have a fight in here last night?"

"Pretty much," she said.

He meant it to be a joke, but changed his tone when he saw her face, "What did I do?"

"You don't remember?"

He shook his head no.

"You had a nightmare, you were delirious, and you fell out of the bed…are you ok? I couldn't check you out last night, you wouldn't let me…I want to now, ok?"

"I fell out of the bed?"

"Yes…well rolled…I think…it was dark, I stupidly didn't leave the light on and you totally thought you were back in that room."

He watched her as she removed his clothes, sitting him up and taking the rib wrap off too. She removed every bandage, checking for a sign of more injury, but didn't find any. He stayed silent, thinking it best just to let her do it, waiting until she finished. He didn't like the way she was acting though.

"Sydney?" he asked.

She looked to him, "Yeah?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No…why would you ask that?"

"I don't know…you just seem…I don't know…"

She softened, "I'm sorry…it just really scared me…I really didn't know what to do…if you wouldn't have settled down…"

"What?"

"I don't know Vaughn."

His face clouded, "You were going to call Tom."

"Yeah, I thought about it…but it was really late…plus I didn't think he could really do anything else for you."

"Were you going to take me back?"

"To the hospital?"

"Yeah."

She was torn with what to say to him, "I honestly don't know."

His face clouded even more, but he didn't say anything in reply.

"Are you hungry?"

He didn't answer; he was totally lost in thought.

"Vaughn?"

"Hmm? What? Yeah…sure."

She looked at him for another minute and then left to make him something to eat. She came back in a few minutes with the tray.

"We should take a bath today if you feel up to it…you were really sweating last night."

"Yeah, ok…"

She didn't say anything else to him through the meal. He let her help him without protest, but he really was confused.

"Sydney?"

"Yeah Vaughn."

"I'm sorry I don't remember…if I would have known it was you…I…"

"It's ok…it was the fever, it wasn't you…ok?"

"Did I say something that made you mad?"

"No."

"Then what? What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything."

"Then why are you acting this way?"

"I'm sorry Vaughn, I didn't get a lot of sleep…ok?" she reached out to touch his face.

"No, I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault, we've been through this a million times Vaughn," Sydney said, harsher than she had meant.

He stopped taken aback at her tone. He was going to say something, but then didn't. Sydney sighed.

"Look, it was a hard night, ok? It's not your fault, and I'm not mad at you…I was just really scared, ok?"

"Yeah."

She kissed him and took the tray out of the room. When she came back, she smiled weakly. "Do you wanna take the bath?"

"Sure."

"I'm gonna get Will…I think we should hold off walking for awhile."

"Yeah."

Sydney went down the hall and knocked on Francie's door. Will flew to the door, half asleep. "Syd? Everything ok?"

"Yeah…I'm sorry to get you up this early, but can you help me get him to the tub?"

"Sure," he said shutting the door quietly so as not to disturb Francie.

He came in the room and smiled at Vaughn, but Vaughn didn't return the smile. He looked to Sydney and then back at Vaughn, and noticed that something was off.

"You feeling better Mike?" he tried.

"Yeah."

"Good…"

Sydney sat Vaughn up and they moved him to the bathroom. Will left and Sydney ran the water and then helped Vaughn out of his clothes and into the tub. "I'll be right back, ok?"

"Yeah…"


	58. Reconciliation

**Chapter 58: Reconciliation **

_"The more severe the pain or illness, the more severe will be the necessary changes. These may involve breaking bad habits, or acquiring some new and better ones." – Peter McWilliams _

"A Hospital is no place to be sick." – Samuel Goldwyn

**

* * *

**

Sydney went out into the hall and almost fell into Will.

"Jesus, Will, what the hell?"

"What's going on?"

She stared at him a minute and then looked down. 

"He doesn't remember anything…and I was this close to calling Tom and having him take him back to the hospital. Vaughn can totally see that…I was scared and I feel so bad because I…"

"Because you couldn't handle it?"

"No…because I could handle it, but I didn't want to…or I thought it didn't want to…I don't know…it's been going so well…but half of this is my fault. I pushed him to walk, or at least I didn't protest enough that he shouldn't and he got sick because of it. He won't let me take any blame for it, even though half of it rests with me…I just can't look him in the eyes right now…and I hate feeling like this…I feel so guilty because I was about to pawn him off to the hospital, the place he hates, not because I couldn't handle it but because he was having a hard night. I should have been there for him and instead I was thinking about sending him back…" she broke down into sobs and fell into Will's arms.

"Hey…it's ok…" he held onto her for a few minutes and then moved her back so she could look him in the eyes, "Sydney…you're doing a great job…it's not a crime to think about sending him back…you didn't…that's the important thing…you didn't send him back…but if you did, that wouldn't be bad…if you can't handle this…than it's better he be at the hospital…"

She looked at him in a panic, "Will…I promised him…and I promised Tom that I could handle this…I can't send him back…seriously, it would destroy him…it would be no better…I might as well just send him back to Sloane!"

"Syd…I think you're being a little overdramatic."

"No, I'm not…you didn't see him in the hospital…"

"Ok…Francie and I are here if you need more help then…why don't you stay out here for a few more minutes, just…assemble yourself…splash some water on your face…I'll go talk to him."

"No Will…I don't think he's gonna like that…and I don't want you to talk to him about it."

"Why? Are you?"

"I will…ok?"

"I'm going in…and I'm going to talk to him."

"Will…please…"

"It'll be ok…"

Will didn't wait for an answer; he just walked in. Vaughn hadn't moved, although Will wouldn't have known that. He looked over to Will; surprised it wasn't Sydney.

"Will…where's Sydney? Is she ok?"

"Yeah…she just needed a minute."

"Why? What the hell's going on? What did I do last night that's got her acting so weird, 'cause I can't remember?"

"You didn't do anything…she just got scared, and she feels guilty because she didn't know what to do and she almost called the hospital."

Vaughn nodded, "To send me back, that's what I thought…"

Will didn't know what else to say, so he just sat with Vaughn, waiting…giving Sydney some space.

She came in a few minutes later, "Thanks Will…"

"Sure," Will said as he got up and left the bathroom, "Later Mike."

She sat down on the edge of the tub.

"Listen," she started, but Vaughn interrupted her.

"You don't have to say it…"

"Say what?"

"It's ok…I understand…"

"Ok…"

"When is he coming?"

"Who?"

"Tom."

"Tom? Tom's not coming today…"

Vaughn turned to look at her, fear evident in his eyes, "You called someone other than Tom? Who? Kerns?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sydney…can I get out of the tub? I'd like to be dressed if I'm gonna be making a trip."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to be dressed when I go back to the hospital…"

She sat dumbstruck on the edge of the tub. He actually thought that she was sending him back. "Vaughn…"

"NO…I don't want to talk about it, ok? I just would like to get out of the tub," he took a deep breath, rapidly losing any composure he had left, "if I'm going, I'd like to leave with a little bit of dignity here."

Sydney watched as he broke down quietly in the bathtub. She just sat there, trying to figure out how they got to this point. She took off her clothes and got in the tub.

Vaughn started to move away, groaning as he twisted out of her grip.

"Stop…" she said forcefully, pulling him back into her arms. "Will you listen to me now?"

He didn't say anything, but she could still feel the quiet sobs as they escaped. Even though he thought she was sending him back to the hospital, he latched on to her for support.

"Will you still come to see me?" he said in between broken sobs.

"Shh…let me explain…I'm not sending you back…I didn't call anyone…you're not going anywhere."

He cried harder and she started to cry too, "Vaughn…I'm sorry…I don't know how we got here…I…I was scared last night…I didn't know what to do…and yes, I contemplated calling Tom or the hospital…but I couldn't do that to you…I won't…it was just a bad night…and I felt extremely guilty for even thinking of calling last night…that's why I was acting the way I did this morning…it wasn't you…I never had any intention…I pushed you to walk yesterday, or at least I didn't stop you when I should have…it's partly my fault…I'm sorry…I want to take care of you…I don't want you to go back…please forgive me…"

Vaughn didn't stop sobbing for quite some time…and Sydney didn't either. The water was getting cool and Sydney realized that wasn't a good thing.

She moved slightly and he grabbed on tighter. She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze and leaned them both forward so she could pull the drain and start adding warm water again. He grimaced when she moved him with her, but he wouldn't let go. She wondered if he really had hurt himself last night, but decided it could wait a little longer.

Once the water was warm again, she moved back to hold him and she lost track of the time.  
Will knocked on the door and asked through it, "You guys ok?"

Vaughn jerked and Sydney held onto him even tighter than she had been, "We're fine Will…just relaxing…"

"Ok," he said and she heard his footsteps get fainter.

Vaughn moved away from her abruptly.

Sydney was concerned in an instant, "Vaughn? Are you ok?"

He shook his head no.

"What's wrong?"

"I…I think I'm gonna be sick…"

"Oh God…WILL!" Sydney screamed, haphazardly throwing a robe over herself just before Will entered, Francie not far behind.

"He's gonna get sick, we have to get him out of the tub!"

Will moved instantly, and he and Sydney moved Vaughn out of the tub and onto the floor, resting him next to the toilet. Sydney hastily threw towels around Vaughn. Will moved away slightly, unsure if he should stay or go, looking to Francie, but she shared his uncertain look.

Sydney didn't pay them any attention; she had more than enough to worry about with Vaughn. He sat there for a few minutes, just looking rather nauseous and Sydney wondered if maybe he'd be all right, that he wasn't going to get sick. A few seconds later though, he moved himself closer to the toilet and any questions she had were gone. When he sat back up, agony was written all over his face. She moved to support him, since the rib wrap and oxygen were in the other room, and tried to console him through the obvious pain that the bout of vomiting had caused. His left arm hung loosely at his side and the right was hugging his ribs. Sydney had a fleeting thought of more broken ribs due to stress from the vomiting, but when he started again, she decided that it should wait until later since there wasn't anything she could do to stop the heaving. She tried to ease some of the pain that the retching was causing, but there wasn't much she could do for that either. Vaughn was now singing a song of endless moans and groans, and they weren't music to Sydney's ears by any means. She realized that there was no way he could keep this up much longer especially not without the oxygen and the support the rib wrap provided.

"Will…we have to get him back to the bed…Francie, get a bucket or something, he can't stay here…"

Francie ran off to find a bucket and Will and Sydney tried to move Vaughn as gently as possible. Francie showed up with the bucket just as they were easing Vaughn into the bed, and it was just in the nick of time, because Vaughn had another vomiting bought right when she handed Sydney the bucket.

After that one, Sydney replaced the rib wrap quickly and dressed Vaughn's limp form so he was at least wearing something. Sydney took a moment after she was done to just look at Vaughn, his face was a horrid shade of white and he was sweating again, obviously in overexertion due to the continued vomiting. She smoothed his hair back and tried to get him to calm down, but she found it was rather futile, especially since Will and Francie seemed to be taking in the show. Vaughn was breathing laboriously and any pain medication that he had taken surely came back up. Suffering filled every pore of his face, and Sydney moved down to hold him in an effort to ease any of the pain that he was experiencing.

Will picked this moment to finally speak, "Syd…maybe we should call–"

She refused to let him finish, already feeling the tension rise even more in Vaughn's wilted form. He seemed unable to move, completely drained of any energy that was stored in his damaged body.

"Can you guys just leave us alone for awhile?" Sydney pleaded.

Will seemed reluctant to leave, but Francie finally pulled on his shirt to get him out of the room, and Sydney thanked her silently for that.

Once they were alone, Sydney moved up so she could see Vaughn's face. He hadn't gotten sick again and it seemed that some color had returned to his face. His eyes were distant and unfocused and he seemed extremely exhausted.

"I'm sorry Vaughn…this is all our fault." He didn't reply and that worried Sydney even more. However, he moved slightly and let out a groan of agony and Sydney realized that apologies would have to come later, because at the moment all that mattered was Vaughn's comfort.

She lay with him silently, just trying to give him some of her strength. He calmed a bit, and his breathing returned to a normal state. She could tell he was still in an immense amount of pain though…

"Vaughn?"

He didn't say anything, but he turned his gaze to her.

"I'm sorry."

He tried a weak smile.

"Are you ok?"

He nodded, "I…I think so," he said shakily.

She nodded, "Ok, don't freak out or anything, and it certainly doesn't have to be today, but eventually, Tom should come over to check you out…make sure that the fall last night and the subsequent events of this morning didn't hurt you more…"

Vaughn tensed at the sound of Tom's name.

"Easy…I'm not going to send you back…just relax…it's ok…but you should be looked at…just to be sure…you don't have to go back…"

Vaughn relaxed and seemed to settle into Sydney's arms. He didn't close his eyes or attempt to sleep, but Sydney figured the pain probably had a lot to do with that. She was just starting to relax herself when there was a soft knock at the door. Vaughn tensed, and Sydney cursed, knowing that the party on the other end was just concerned, but wishing they had better timing.

"Yeah…" she said somewhat irritated.

The door opened and Vaughn clutched Sydney as he broke into sobs again.

"Damnit! WILL!" Sydney shouted as the figure in the doorway froze. "Just get out for a minute!" Sydney yelled and the figure retreated back into the hall.


	59. The Figure

**Chapter 59: The Figure **

_"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." – George Washington _

"A wonderful stream is the River Time, As it runs through the realm of Tears, With a faultless rhythm, and a musical rhyme, And a broader sweep, and a surge sublime, As it blends with the Ocean of Years." – B.F. Taylor

* * *

Sydney tried desperately to console Vaughn who launched into a new set of gut wrenching weeping. She moved to cradle his head and gently rocked him. 

"Vaughn…I didn't call him…I didn't call him…" she chanted as Vaughn held on to her tightly. She realized that even if Vaughn thought she had called, she was the one he turned to; latched onto for support and comfort, just as he had in the bathtub mere moments ago. She understood, that even if he thought she had betrayed him in a sense, she was the only one he felt safe with.

"Easy…" she said as he tried to calm himself. She took his face in her hands and forced him to look at her.

"Michael, I didn't call him…I wouldn't do that to you…I think Will did…he's…he's worried too…I'm sorry…I know you're scared, but you have to believe me…I didn't call…"

He nodded and she spent several more minutes holding him and speaking softly to him before his grip lightened in the least. When she thought he was composed enough, she let go slightly, looking him in the eyes again, "I'm going to go out there…you stay here…and try to relax. Don't worry, ok? I'm not going to let anyone take you…ok?"

Vaughn nodded and reluctantly let go of her. "Syd?" he said in a voice just above a whisper and shakily.

"Yeah?" she said moving back to him.

"I don't want to be alone…"

"I know…" she smiled, "I won't let him come in without me…" She kissed him before leaving the bedside, giving him a reassuring glance before leaving the room and entering the hall.

Once she was in the hall, she came face to face with a person she very much disliked at the moment.

Tom was standing next to the door, "Would someone like to explain why my friend in there totally broke down into sobs when I came in the–" he got out before Sydney brushed past him, went over to Will, got right in his face and slapped him hard across the cheek.

Will's hand automatically went to the place where an angry red mark was already forming, and his look was one of utter shock.

Sydney moved away from him slightly, "You had no right…NO RIGHT! to call him," she said pointing to Tom. "It was not your decision!"

Will looked at her completely speechless, "I…I…only thought that someone needed to call…I…I was just concerned…he was really bad Sydney…" Will tried to reason.

"And who was responsible for that?" Sydney shot at him. "Us Will…US!" she said angrily. "We scared the living shit out of him! He was totally convinced that when you came into the bathroom that you were waiting there with him because I was calling the ambulance. He basically had a complete nervous breakdown in the fucking bathtub because we couldn't communicate!"

She realized suddenly that Vaughn's doctor was standing just feet away from her. Her head snapped in his direction.

He looked at her, "I think I can piece most of it together…I got a call from Will telling me there was an emergency and that I needed to get here as fast as I could…"

Sydney shot Will another glace full of anger.

"Look, Tom…I'm sorry he called you…he had no right to do that…we…I made a mistake…a horrible mistake…and now Vaughn's the one who's paying for it once again! It was just a bad night…that's all…I was just scared…it was just a bad night and a really bad morning…please, Tom…please don't make Vaughn pay for my mistake even more…he's so tired already…he's so scared…please…"

Tom held up his hand, "Just cool it…I think everyone in this house needs to chill…let's start over…what happened?"

Sydney tried to calm herself before starting, "Vaughn overdid it yesterday. When we woke up, we did his exercises and he had a muscle spasm…he rested awhile and everyone else had already left for the day…and Vaughn wanted to go out on the couch. Against what should have been my better judgment, I agreed to help him walk out to the living room. It started out ok, but he got really dizzy about halfway there. He said he needed to lie down and he spent the rest of the day on the couch, just sleeping. He got a fever again and he was really tired and weak. We went to bed, and he had a nightmare, but the fever was pretty high too and he was delirious. He fell out of the bed, but this morning he didn't remember any of it. I was scared, I didn't know if he was ok, and I contemplated calling you or the hospital. I felt horribly guilty in the morning and Vaughn picked up on my different attitude and called me on it. I really didn't tell him, but I think he figured it out anyway. However, I let Will go into the bathroom for a few minutes while I calmed down in the hall and Vaughn pretty much took the conversation with Will as though I was currently calling you to take him back to the hospital. When I came back in, he basically fell apart in the tub, because he was so scared. That's when he got sick…his vomiting had nothing, NOTHING to do with his injuries, it was all because Will and I failed to actually communicate what we really wanted to say. It's our fault…and I just had him calmed down when Will decided that I couldn't handle it all and called you. There was no emergency; I had it under control. And you can ask Vaughn, I just had him agree, I was going to call you tomorrow to have you come over and just double check to make sure he didn't hurt himself when he fell or when he got sick. Go ahead, ask him…he thought I'd totally lied to him when you came in…he's terrified of going back Tom, terrified," she looked to Will at the last part of her sentence, but his head was downcast.

Tom smiled slightly, "I don't need to ask him…I believe you…look, I'm going to say this for all of you present, so listen up: I trust Sydney completely. She's capable of handling just about anything, and especially if it deals with Mike. Will, I understand your concern, but I have faith in Sydney's capabilities. If she says she can handle it, she can. Sydney, Will was only trying to help, he thought Mike was in trouble, and any confidence issues that he has with your capabilities should be handled on the side and not in front of my patient. Francie, I really have nothing to say to you…you seem to be quite level-headed in all of this."

Francie smiled.

"Now…I've said this before…I want this to work. It's not a bad thing that Vaughn overdid it, I mean it's bad he overdid it, but he needs to know his limits for himself, and everyone else here does too. He needs to be able to push himself and yet to know when it's too much. I agree that the vomiting was probably stress induced, and Sydney's handled fevers before, so I'm not concerned there either. You said you were going to call me anyway to make sure Michael was ok from the fall, so I think you still have everything under control."

He stopped to make sure everyone was still listening, "That said…I want everyone here to also know that I will not be used as a pawn against Michael of for your personal opinions and feelings. I really could give a shit how you guys feel, all that matters is that man in there," he said pointing to the bedroom door. "And when my friend bursts into tears because he sees me in a doorway, there's a problem. I will NOT be used against him. I'm his friend, but I'm also his doctor, and if I think for one minute that the environment here is not conducive to his recovery, I will pull him out of here, not because I'm mean, but because I want what's best for him. Don't go over each other's heads again…TALK. Should I say that slower for you? T A L K to each other. I don't want another rabid call from one of you telling me that there's an emergency when the only emergency is a lack of communication on your parts. Got it?" Tom added for emphasis.

All three nodded their heads like children who'd just been disciplined.

"Good, now that my parenting is over, if you don't mind, I'm going to go in there and see if Michael is ok."

Sydney moved to the door with him and they entered slowly. Vaughn was still on the bed, but he tensed slightly when Tom entered. Sydney sat next to Vaughn on the bed and Tom stayed a safe distance away.

"Hey Mikey…"

Vaughn smiled weakly.

"You've had quite a time the last 12 hours haven't you?"

Vaughn nodded.

"Look…I've had a little chat with the other occupants of the house…Will called me…ok? It wasn't Sydney…he was worried and that's ok…but I told them all – I will not be used against you as some kind of boogie man who comes over to taunt you with the prospect of being taken back to the hospital. I've had no intention of doing that yet, but Mike, I will if they use me against you again. You do NOT have to be afraid of me…ok? I'm your friend Mikey…we go way back…don't let them scare you…I know you're scared and you don't want to go back to the hospital, but stop worrying about that. You're doing well here…setbacks are going to happen, I told you that before, and Sydney was handling everything fine. You two seem to be communicating a lot better than the rest of the household. Ok?"

Vaughn nodded.

Tom moved closer, "OK?" he asked again.

"Yeah," Vaughn said looking at Tom.

"Good…now let me look at you, make sure you didn't sustain any more injuries from all the fun you've had."

Tom moved slowly and deliberately so Vaughn wouldn't have to get jittery. He tried to be as gentle as possible. Vaughn pulled away from him at one point, but Tom didn't take any offense to it, he realized that at the moment, it was just an unconscious reaction to being touched.

"Ok…are there any spots that you think are hurt? Any new pains?"

Vaughn pointed to two points on his ribs, each on one side. Tom moved gently across the areas, but Vaughn started moving again in obvious pain.

"Just stay with me here…I'm sorry it hurts buddy, but I gotta make sure…"

He prodded carefully until he was satisfied, "Ok, I think they're just bruised and tender, could even be just aggravation from the vomiting. Anywhere else?"

"I think I landed on my shoulder when I fell off the bed…I don't really remember it, but it hurts…seems logical."

Tom moved to his shoulder, "I'm gonna take the sling off for a minute." Tom removed the sling and gripped Vaughn's wrist. "I'm going to rotate it…it's gonna hurt a little bit."

Vaughn gritted his teeth while Tom rotated the shoulder, pressing on the joint, making sure once again that no further damage had been sustained. "Nope, I think you just aggravated it when you fell…no new injuries. Did you hit your head?"

"I don't think so," Vaughn said turning to Sydney.

"I didn't see him fall, I just heard it and then I saw him on the floor, but his head wasn't near anything."

"I'll check anyway…" Tom took hold of Vaughn's chin and moved his head having him focus on his finger, then he got out the flashlight and did his standard test. "Looks good," he said, "I'm done…you seem fine, just shaken up. I agree with Sydney and I think the vomiting was just anxiety. I think you should eat something and he should definitely get his pills again cause I'm sure they came up…" He stopped looking pointedly at Vaughn, "Mike, I want you to rest today, and don't try the full-fledged walking until next week. Give your ribs a rest for today too, and start the exercises tomorrow. If you or Sydney thinks that six is too many, shave one or two off until you think you're ready. It's a guide, not a bible. Just go at the pace that's good for you…ok?"

Vaughn nodded and settled into the bed.

Sydney got up and walked Tom to the door. "Next time I get a frantic call from Will or Francie, I'll call you first, ok?"

"Thanks," Sydney said, hugging Tom.

Tom was somewhat surprised, but hugged her back too.

"Call if you need anything," he said winking as he opened the door. "Francie, Will…see ya later."

Tom walked out and Sydney stayed in the door jam, "Will, I'm sorry I slapped you, but we still need to talk. I'm going to take care of him first…"

Will nodded but he didn't say anything.

Francie smiled and gave Sydney a hug before pulling Will with her into the living room.

Sydney turned around and closed the bedroom door, heading back to Vaughn


	60. Communiqué

**Chapter 60: Communiqué**

_"Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were." – Cherie Carter-Scott _

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." – Mahatma Gandhi

"Life is a long lesson in humility." – James M. Barrie

* * *

"How are you doing?" Sydney asked Vaughn as she made her way back to the bed. 

He smiled weakly, "I'm alright..."

She sat down, "Are you really?"

"Yeah, I'm really tired..."

"Are you hungry? You need to take your pills again, and you should eat something with them..."

"Not really, but I'll eat something..."

"Ok...just sit tight, I'll be back in a few minutes."

"I wasn't planning on going anywhere..."

She smiled sadly and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving the room.

She glanced in the living room on her way to the kitchen. Will and Francie were sitting on the couch, the TV was off, and they quieted down when they knew she was there. They both sat on the couch unsure of what to do or say, so they decided to let Sydney take the lead.

Sydney meanwhile was deciding on something for Vaughn to eat and getting his pain medication ready. She looked briefly out towards the couple and debated whether she really wanted to get into this now, with Vaughn waiting for her. However, waiting would only make things more awkward living in the same house.

"Will?" Sydney said quietly.

He and Francie both walked into the kitchen. Will's eyes were downcast and Francie just seemed extremely uncomfortable.

Francie finally said, "I think I'll leave you two to work this out...I'll be in the bedroom..." she walked off without waiting for a reply from either Will or Sydney.

After Francie left Sydney figured Will was just waiting for her to start, "I'm sorry I hit you..."  
Will met her eyes but didn't say anything.

"I'm still angry at you...I stand by what I said before...I don't think you had any right to call Tom over my head especially after I told you that I didn't want you to. And I'm offended that you thought I would jeopardize Vaughn's health. If something was really wrong or I knew that I couldn't handle it, I would call myself. That said...you were only concerned about Vaughn and I should feel flattered that you care that much about the man I love. You've been nothing but supportive and caring and helpful up to this point, so thank you for that," she paused gathering the rest of her thoughts, "We are both to blame here, and Tom was completely right when he said that a lack of communication was responsible. I didn't communicate well enough...and I'm sorry."

Sydney looked up at Will again letting him know that she was finished.

Then Will began, "I'm sorry too...while it's nice of you to say that we've been helpful and all that, I should have trusted you enough to know that you had it under control...you take wonderful care of him, and I'm sorry I went over your head...I totally overstepped my bounds. And I didn't handle the whole tub scene well at all. While I've had time to think about it, I gave Vaughn every indication that you were sending him back to the hospital...so we're agreed when it comes to responsibility." He stopped and then looked at her seriously, "Do you forgive me?"

"For my part, yes...for Vaughn's part, that's an entirely different matter...do you forgive me?"

Will smiled, "Of course," he pulled her into a hug.

"Is your face ok?" Sydney asked delicately.

Will smiled touching his cheek, "Yeah...you sure know how to arm a slap...seriously, I would never want to cross you if you were extremely angry. It's like the Hulk...so mild mannered and unassuming and then BAM! you're on your ass cause the big green monster came out to play."

Sydney chuckled, "I'm sorry..."

"Nah, I deserved it..." Will smiled, hugging her again.

"Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we try to communicate better?"

"Yeah, we won't try, we will..."

"Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Before I totally, positively forgive you..."

Will looked alarmed, "What?"

"I think you should apologize to Vaughn..."

"I will...is he ok for me to do it now?"

"I think so..." she said moving towards the door.

"No...can I go in alone?"

Sydney looked at him unsure, "I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

Will looked at her imploringly, "Please? I'll be super nice, and I won't make him think that you're making him go back to the hospital."

"Well...alright...I guess...but I'm not too comfortable with it either...he's really kind of...jumpy right now...he's dealt with a lot in such a short span of time..."

"I think it'll be ok..."

Sydney nodded and Will pushed the door open. She went back to the kitchen to finish preparing something for Vaughn and then waited. She only hoped that behind the door chaos was not going to break out again.

Vaughn wasn't expecting Will to come through the door, and he tensed when it wasn't Sydney. Will moved slowly, trying to be unassuming.

He smiled at Vaughn, "Is it ok if I sit?"

"Uh...yeah...where's Sydney?"

Will smiled again, "She's in the kitchen, I'm not here to freak you out again..."

Vaughn managed a weak smile.

"I owe you an apology Mike."

Vaughn looked over at him again.

"I called Tom...Sydney never had any intention of sending you back to the hospital and I did a piss poor job of letting you know that when we were in the bathroom. Everything that happened because of that was partly my fault, and I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to scare you or anything and I'm extremely sorry that I didn't trust Sydney enough to know that she'd never do or not do anything if it was going to cause you harm. I really hope that I didn't really screw up with you now...cause I value what you mean to Sydney and the friend you're rapidly becoming for me too..."

Vaughn looked slightly shocked, "Rest assured, you're allowed mistakes...and I want you to know that even though at the time Tom's presence totally screwed with me, it's nice to know that you care so much to call him when you think I'm in trouble...that took guts..."

Will smiled.

"Did Sydney hit you?"

"Uh, yeah, she slapped me..." he said slightly embarrassed, "but in all honesty, I don't blame her..."

Vaughn smiled too, "That's my Sydney."

"Yup..." He shifted uneasily, "Uh...since there isn't anyone else in the room to get the wrong impression, would it be copasetic if I gave you a strictly guy-friend hug?"

Vaughn managed a wide smile, "Yeah, that'd be just fine...I'm secure in my masculinity."

Will laughed and leaned down to give Vaughn a gentle hug.

Once they parted, Will said, "Well...Sydney's done making you something to eat I'm sure, and she's probably like standing with her ear to the door making sure I'm not scaring the shit out of you again, so I'll leave you guys to it."

"Actually Will, can you ask her to come in here...you stay too..."

"Uh...yeah," Will said unsurely, but he went out into the kitchen. "Syd?"

"Yeah? Is everything ok?"

"Yeah...we're good, but he wants us both to come in there..."

"Why?"

"No idea," Will said honestly.

"Ok." Sydney said and followed Will back into the bedroom. She looked to Vaughn, "Everything ok?" she asked reassuring herself.

"Everything's ok...I want you both to know that while you blame yourself, a lot of what happened is just because I'm extremely disgruntled."

"Vaughn!" Sydney said.

"No, let me explain, I'm not dissing myself here...seriously, if I was just normal, old, three-months-ago Michael, this wouldn't have happened. My emotional state is variable, so things that are completely trivial aren't to me sometimes anymore. And that's not your fault."

"But it's not your fault either," Sydney pointed out.

"No...but the way I react to things now is different..."

Sydney and Will exchanged worried glances.

"You don't need to apologize for your reactions Vaughn. Given the circumstances, they were quite appropriate. Where are you going with this?"

"I have no idea, I just don't want me to come between you two."

Sydney's face went from contorted worry to compassion, "Oh sweetie...God, don't even think that."

Will echoed, "No...it's not you, man."

Vaughn held up his hand, "If I wouldn't be here, you two wouldn't have ever had this happen..."

Will fielded this one, "Mike, it would have come up eventually. What happened between Syd and I really had nothing to do with you..."

Vaughn smiled, "If you say so, but don't let me get in the way..."

"You don't honey," Sydney said sitting on the bed.

"Really, Mike you don't," Will added.

Vaughn smiled a small smile, looking down at the comforter on the bed, "It's just...well...life would be a lot easier for everybody if I wasn't here..."

"Vaughn...how can you say that? None of us think that..." Vaughn didn't look up at Sydney.

She glanced at Will and he added, "Mike, you don't make things harder or anything...we all love having you here..." but that didn't get a response out of Vaughn either.

Will looked at Vaughn staring at the comforter and then yelled, "FRANCIE!" making both Sydney and Vaughn jump.

She ran into the room, with a look of confusion and fear on her face, "What? What's going on?" she said.

"Mike thinks everything would be easier if he wasn't around..."

"What!" she said exasperatedly, "Michael, how can you say that? We love having you here...you're just one of the family now...I for one love having someone here...so I'm not bothered with Will all the time..."

"Hey!" Will said a moment later after punching in.

That made Vaughn smile, but it was only a small one, "Maybe...maybe..."

"What honey?" Sydney urged.

Vaughn took a deep breath, and struggled to get his thought across, "Maybe it would be better for everyone if I wasn't...here...if...if I went...back..." he picked at a loose string on the comforter, a feeling of uneasiness and fear rising in him. What would I do if they actually agreed, he thought...

Sydney didn't know what to say, "Vaughn...I don't understand...do you want to go back now?"

Vaughn didn't answer at first, "I just don't want to be a burden, and I don't want to cause rifts between friends either...I don't do anything here...everyone else does all the work, plus take care of me...I just...maybe it would be better..." he couldn't finish the rest...he couldn't bring himself to say where they should take him back to...

Sydney's brow furrowed and she let out a sigh, "See...this is what we did...we've made you question everything...made you feel like you're a lot of trouble to take care of or that you don't belong here...this is what I meant...this shouldn't have happened Vaughn...you shouldn't have to feel this way."

Francie added, "You're totally welcome here, and I don't think of you as a burden. I enjoy helping out and you're not hard to take care of either."

"I love having another guy in the house, it's great not to be outnumbered, and I don't mind helping out either...I like having you around..." Will said.

Francie continued, "Michael, you make Sydney happy, you bring your personality to the house...it's great having that here...I don't want you to go back."

"Me either," Will echoed.

"And I certainly don't..." Sydney finished.

Vaughn was still focusing on the comforter. Sydney reached out and grabbed his chin, forcing him to make eye contact with her, "I want you to stay...stay and make us all happy...you're not a burden...I want to take care of you, I don't want anyone else doing it, I don't trust anyone else to do it. I'm completely capable and actually, I won't let you go, so...there..."

Vaughn was teary, but he smiled for her. She leaned down and kissed him and then hugged him too. Before either one of them knew it, Will and Francie had joined in the hug as well. It was one big pile up on the bed.

Once they all moved off, Will asked, "So...you'll stay then?"

Vaughn didn't think he could really form words at the moment, but he nodded. They all launched themselves at him again, smothering him with affection.

Once they parted again, Vaughn managed, "Jesus, if I'd known you'd shower me with that much love, I would have suggested I leave sooner."

Sydney hit him gently on the arm, "Your food is probably so cold," she realized, "and you totally need to take your pills."

Francie offered, "I'll make him something, you guys chill here." She ran off to whip something up, leaving the other three occupants in a somewhat awkward-affectionate stance.

She came back in with a world-class meal and his pills in hand. Sydney took her place on the bed next to him and Will and Francie sat on the foot of the bed.

It seemed that all was well again in their household; they had weathered another storm – together...


	61. The French Connection

**Chapter 61: The French Connection**

_"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." – Mark Twain _

"There is no pillow so soft as a clear conscience." – French Proverb

"Motherhood: All love begins and ends there." – Robert Browning

* * *

Francie and Will left the other couple alone after Vaughn had finished eating.

Sydney fussed over Vaughn continuously until he finally said, "Sydney...will you sit down?"

She looked at him rather strangely, "Sure."

"I'm ok..."

"I know, that's what you keep saying..." she said smiling, but then turned serious, "Would you really have gone back?"

He looked to her, seeing the questioning curiosity in her eyes, "If I thought it was in your best interest..."

"Even if it wasn't in yours?"

"I don't ever want to hurt you...especially not because of me...I don't want this, all of this, to hurt you...so even though the thought of going back to the hospital terrifies me, yes, I would have gone back if you wanted me to."

She looked at the resolution in his eyes, "Wow...you must really love me, huh?"

"Yeah...how'd you guess?"

"Mmm...terrifying hospital all for my welfare...pretty much did it..."

He smiled as she leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on his mouth.

"You're supposed to rest today...do you want to sleep for awhile or do you want to watch TV? Movie? What do you want to do? What do you feel like?"

"Uh...I'm not really that tired, I'm rather apprehensive about sleep at the moment anyway...wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure...what do you wanna watch?" She said playing with the buttons on his shirt.

"Mmm...you..."

"That could be interesting. What do you want? A show?"

"Sure...if you're the main attraction..."

She giggled and was about to help him in the area of entertainment when there was a knock on the door.

Vaughn let out a groan, "Oh come on!" he said quietly.

Sydney smiled and went to the door. She opened it and Will was standing on the other side.  
"Sorry to disturb you...but there's a phone call..."

Sydney cocked her head to the side, but took the phone from Will's outstretched hand.

"Hello?" she said.

"Syd?"

"Weiss...what's up?" she said looking to Vaughn.

"Uh...can I talk to Vaughn?"

"Sure," she said, "Weiss wants to talk to you," she said handing the phone off.

"Eric?"

"Mike...uh...let's see...how to say this...have you...talked to your mother recently?"

"Oh No!"

"Oh Yeah," Eric chimed.

Sydney sat down on the bed and looked worriedly at Vaughn. 'What?' she mouthed, and he mouthed 'Hang on' back to her.

"Shit!" Vaughn said.

"Yeah, she called the CIA totally distraught apparently, yelling at a bunch of people..."

"I guess I assumed that someone would have at least informed her."

"Yeah, well they didn't, so I think you're in BIG trouble buddy."

"Ok...I better call her...thanks Eric."

"Sure, how are you doing? You want me to come over soon?"

"Yeah, I'd love it. Why don't you call in a day or two...today I've been restricted to the bed so..."

"What too much lovin'?"

Vaughn chuckled, "I'll tell you later, ok? I should call her..."

"Ok, talk to you soon!"

"Yeah, bye Eric."

Sydney looked to Vaughn, "What's up?"

"Nobody bothered to tell my mother that I was taken and I'm all right. She called the CIA totally pissed...I'm in so much trouble."

Sydney smiled, "You want me to leave while you call?"

"No, you can stay," he said smiling. She took her seat next to him on the bed as he dialed his mother's number.

Author's Note: As we all well know, Vaughn's mother is French and from the Alias book that just came out, her name is Amélie Vaughn...anyway, as I would assume (but is confirmed in the book) she speaks to him in French all the time. Now, I had three and a half years of French in high school...and I don't remember shit, so just imagine this conversation is in French...and the physical description of his mom comes from the book as well. Oh, and for the non-French inclined – Michel is Michael in French – I didn't spell it wrong a million times.

It rang once and the familiar sound of his mother's voice filled the telephone receiver, "Hello?" she said.

"Mom?"

"Michel!"

Vaughn moved the phone away from his ear as a string of French expletives emanated from his mother.

"I didn't think you knew all those words Mom," he said when she stopped.

"Where have you been? You're always extremely good about calling me occasionally. I must have left two-dozen messages on your answering machine at home and at least that many at the office. What happened? I call the CIA and they say that you're on medical leave and you don't call! I'm going insane over here! I've been worried sick! What's going on Michel?"

"Mom...I can't really talk about it all on the phone...you know..."

"Michel!"

"I'm ok...really, you don't have to worry; I'm being taken care of."

"Where are you? What hospital are you at? I'm coming there."

"I'm not at the hospital..."

"What do you mean? Where are you then?"

"Sydney's..."

"Sydney's? Why are you not in a hospital Michel?"

"Because I couldn't stay there anymore..."

"Are you alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"You sound...well...you sound like you did when you were little, when you got hurt..."

"Sydney's taking good care of me."

"I want to come and see you...where does Sydney live?"

"Mom..."

"Put her on the phone Michel," Amélie said forcefully, in the mommy voice that Vaughn knew all too well.

"She wants to talk to you," Vaughn said holding out the phone.

"She wants to talk to me?" Sydney said in disbelief, but Vaughn just nodded.

"Hello?"

"Sydney...this is Michael's mother, Amélie Vaughn. I understand that my son is staying at your house. I'd like to come and see my injured only son who doesn't call his mother when he is badly hurt. Perhaps you could give me directions?"

"Uh, sure..." Sydney said, giving Vaughn's mother directions to her house. Vaughn was shaking his head and groaning while Sydney was telling his mother how to get to him.

"Thank you Sydney...I hope it won't be an inconvenience that I'm coming on such short notice, but if my son would have picked up the phone, I would have come earlier."

"No, it's no trouble, I'm sorry neither one of us had the decency to call you. I'm very sorry...I should have called when Vau–, Michael couldn't have...I'm truly sorry. I can only imagine how worried you must have been."

"Yes, thank you. I'll see you in a few hours then. It was nice to finally talk to you Sydney, Michael speaks of you often."

"He does? Well...thank you...I'll be glad to finally meet you."

"Yes, me as well."

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye Sydney, say the same to my son for me."

"I will," Sydney said hanging up.

"I am a dead man," Vaughn said when Sydney looked at him.

"Your mom sounds really nice Vaughn."

"She's gonna kill me Syd. I can't believe I forgot to call her."

"Well, you've had a lot on your mind, Vaughn."

"I know...but I forgot to call my own mother to tell her I was alright!"

"I'm sure she'll understand Vaughn..."

He let out a groan, "When is she coming?"

"From her tone, I'd guess she was leaving like after she put the phone down..."

"Great...kill me now..."

"Easy there...I'm sure it'll be fine...so you talk about me?"

"What?"

"Your mom said you talk about me..."

"Well, yeah...I talked to her about you like the day after I met you..."

"Really?" Sydney asked sincerely.

"Yes, really..."

"Does she know about us?"

"Yes...and if she didn't, she sure would after today!"

Sydney smiled, "I'll be right back, I should tell Will and Francie that she's stopping by so they can be on their best behavior."

"Ok."

Sydney rushed out to the living room where Will and Francie were sitting, watching TV. A thought occurred to her, "Guys...I came out here to tell you that Vaughn's mother is going to be stopping by...why aren't you guys at work? It's Tuesday..."

"We took the day off..." Francie stated.

"Oh guys, I'm sorry..."

"No...it's ok...we both could use a day or two or three..." she replied.

"I bet you didn't sleep a lot last night and then early this morning, god, I'm sorry guys."

"Look, we've already had this conversation once today, let's not have it again...it's fine," Francie reasoned, "Michael's mother is coming over?"

"Yeah...we totally forgot to tell her that he was hurt, it just totally slipped our minds, everyone's it seems. So, she's on her way now, she'll be here in a few hours. Do you think you could...pick up slightly."

Will smiled, "Trying to make a good impression on the mother-in-law?"

She gave him a look, "Well, that's going to be difficult with you here, but yes," she shot back.  
Will smiled again, thankful that they seemed to be back to friendly banter.

"We'll pick up..." Francie said getting off the couch and dragging Will along with her to help.

The doorbell rang a few hours later and Sydney went to the door to answer it. She took a deep breath. This was it...Vaughn's mom lay on the other side of this door. She built up her courage and pulled open the door.

Sydney smiled at the woman on her doorstep. Amélie Vaughn was a very beautiful woman, slight, she couldn't have been more than a hundred pounds, with straight white hair and vivid cerulean eyes that stood out from her tanned face. She smiled back at Sydney.

"You must be the lovely woman who has stolen my son's heart," Amélie said with a distinct French accent.

Sydney blushed, dimples blazing, "And you must be the lovely woman who allowed me to have him...please come in Mrs. Vaughn."

"Nonsense, please call me Amélie."

"Of course."

Will and Francie were standing back farther, unsure if they should stay or wait until later for introductions.

Sydney cleared that up right away, "Amélie, I'd like you to meet my roommate, Francie Calfo, and her boyfriend, Will Tippin. Francie, Will, this is Vau–, Michael's mother, Amélie."

"Very nice to meet you," Will said shaking Amélie's hand gently.

"Welcome," Francie added.

Amélie turned serious for a minute and looked at Sydney, "Will you tell me exactly what happened to my son? How badly is he injured?"

Sydney really couldn't start explaining in front of Francie, "Maybe it'd be better if we let him tell you?"

Amélie looked at her strangely for a minute but then seemed to catch on, "Of course, where is Michel?"

Sydney smiled at the way Vaughn's mother referred to him, it seemed to endearing. "He's in here, follow me."

Sydney and Amélie excused themselves politely and moved off to the bedroom.


	62. Amélie’s Amorous Adventure Rage Agains

**Chapter 62: Amélie's Amorous Adventure / Rage Against the Machine **

_"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." – Judy Garland _

"Fall seven times, stand up eight." – Japanese Proverb

"God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers" – Anon.

* * *

On their way to the bedroom, Sydney said quietly, "Francie doesn't know what we do for a living…she doesn't know what really happened to Vau–, Michael…Will works at the CIA too, but I thought it better to wait…"

"I understand," Amélie said and Sydney pushed open the door.

"Maman!" Vaughn said, his face lighting up like he was nine again.

"Michel!" Amélie said happily, moving towards the bed as Sydney closed the door behind them.

Amélie looked at her son and her happiness turned to concern when she got a good look at Vaughn's condition, "Oh my God Michel!" she said quietly but exasperatedly as she leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.

"I'm ok Maman…"

"No, I think you are most certainly not ok…look at you…you have oxygen? Michel…you're a mess." She sat down on the bed next to him.

"Thank you…" he said smiling. Sydney mused silently that Vaughn almost turned into a nine year old in the presence of his mother; she just brought it out of him.

"Would someone please explain to me how this happened to you?" she said addressing both Vaughn and Sydney.

"I was kidnapped…" Vaughn started, looking at Sydney, "and held for almost 20 days…"

"Held, held where? Who did this to you?"

Sydney took over momentarily, "His name is Arvin Sloane. He has a personal vendetta against me…his wife was killed in an unfortunate accident and he decided to take it out on Vaughn…he…" she looked at Vaughn, unsure if she should really continue, but he nodded, "he tortured him for those 20 days until I got to him."

Amélie gasped, "Tortured?" she said astonished.

"Yeah…" Vaughn affirmed.

"How badly are you injured? You don't look well Michel, why aren't you in the hospital?"

"I couldn't stand to be in the hospital anymore…"

Sydney jumped in, "We had a rather unfortunate experience with the staff at the first hospital he was at…"

"First hospital?" Amélie said confused.

"After that we took him to the Naval hospital…they released him to my care," Sydney said proudly.

Vaughn smiled at his mother and Sydney, "She takes wonderful care of me Maman…"

Amélie smiled, "I'm sure she does dear…why is no one answering my other question about injuries?"

Vaughn grimaced, "Maybe you don't really need to know all of them…" he suggested lightly.

"Michel…" she warned.

"Sydney," he said, "go ahead…she knows them better than I do…"

Amélie turned her attention to Sydney, who moved over to sit next to Vaughn in her usual spot on the bed.

She began, "Well…he has a lot of injuries, and it seems really scary at first, I was scared too, but he's doing really well. Ok, let's see if I can remember the list…he has…13 rib fractures and 4 costochondral separations, one punctured lung, the other almost collapsed, spleen damage – but it was repaired, a concussion, a dislocated shoulder, four broken fingers, a sprained ankle and a boatload of bruises and cuts…yeah…that's about it for the physical damage."

Amélie paled, "Michel," she said quietly, tears springing to her eyes, "My God! You could have been killed…"

Vaughn grabbed his mother's hand, realizing she was probably totally reliving his father's death, "Maman, I'm ok…really…I mean, I know it sounds bad, and it's a really long list, but I'm doing much better. If you'd have seen me when I first came to the hospital…really, I'm doing better…please don't cry Maman…"

She tried to compose herself, "I can't lose you too Michel…"

"I know…" he smiled grimly as his mother moved to hug him.

"Sydney, what did you mean when you said 'physical damage?'"

Sydney looked to Vaughn who shared her look of uneasiness. "Uh, Vaughn…you wanna field that one?" she said tentatively.

He looked to his mother again, "I was tortured…so…uh…well…I have nightmares…and…"

Amélie waited for her son to add more as her hand went to cover her mouth thinking about her son and what he'd endured. She threw her arms around him, kissing his head repeatedly, rocking him like a small child. He let her do it, knowing it was more for her own comfort than his, but it was nice that his mother was there. When she finally let go, she had somewhat composed herself.

She pursed her lips; "I really wish you would have called sooner, I could have come sooner then, and helped…"

Vaughn smiled, pulling off his best innocent little boy act that Sydney smiled at, knowing it must work on his mother as well as it worked on her, "I'm sorry Maman…I should have called…I've just…had a lot on my mind, a lot to deal with…"

"Of course you have dear…" she shook her head, "Damn government jobs…had to follow him didn't you…"

Vaughn smiled at his mother's scolding tone and then yawned noticeably. Sydney smiled as Amélie looked over at her.

Sydney said, "Maybe we should let you rest for awhile, huh? You've had a rough morning…"

Vaughn smiled at Sydney and pulled her over to kiss him. Sydney thanked him silently for that; he didn't have any qualms about kissing her in front of his mother – that was good.

"You take a nap…I'll wake you when it's time to take your pills if you're not up by then, ok?"

"Uh huh…"

"Sleep well Michel," Amélie said as she kissed her son on the forehead again and moved off the bed.

"You'll keep my mother occupied I'm sure, won't you Sydney?" Vaughn said as Sydney moved off the bed as well.

"You bet I will, she and I are going to have a long talk about your boyhood embarrassments," she chided.

"Oh yeah, I can't wait…Maman, don't tell her anything too embarrassing…"

"Well, Michel, you know you didn't call…"

"Oh man, I am in such trouble," Vaughn said as the two ladies closed the door to the bedroom.

Sydney looked over at Amélie, "Would you like something to drink? Maybe we can sit out on the porch then and talk."

"That'd be lovely dear."

Sydney nodded and Amélie followed her to the kitchen. She made two glasses of iced tea and directed Amélie to the patio.

"Sydney?"

"Yes?"

"Is my son ok?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think he's really ok? It sounds like he's had a…very rough time…"

"He has…he was tortured, and the hospital experience was horrid…he was better at the Naval hospital, but he just really wanted to go home…"

"Home?"

Sydney smiled bashfully, "Well, I consider this Vaughn's home…I think he does too…he didn't feel safe at the hospital…"

"Why not?"

"He was pretty much terrified of everyone who wasn't me to be completely honest. I'm not going to lie to you, it hasn't been easy for either one of us…we both make mistakes, and it was really hard for him in the beginning…to trust anyone…truthfully if he hadn't known the doctor at the Naval hospital, he might not be here, but he stops by at least once a week to check on him. Tom Barker, Vaughn said they went to college together…"

"Yes, I remember Tom…very nice boy…he's Michel's doctor?"

"Yes…"

"Does he have bad nightmares?"

Sydney looked at Amélie trying to decide how truthful to be, "Yes…they're bad sometimes…last night was particularly bad…we had a really bad night and morning…he had a muscle spasm before he even had breakfast and he had a really high fever last night as well…"

"Muscle spasm?"

"Yeah, the muscles in his chest and ribs involuntarily contract and constrict when he does too much physical activity or sometimes if he gets too worked up and then…well…it's not pleasant."

"What do you do for him?"

"We have morphine shots that relax the muscles and then he has a bunch of medications for various things – inflammation, swelling, general pain…"

"I'm sure that's not very pleasant for you either…"

"No, it's not easy to see him in so much pain and not be able to do much about it…but we do alright…"

"How long is the recuperation period supposed to last?"

"Three to four months."

"You willingly signed on for all of this? Agreed to take him home with you and take care of him here? Put your whole life on hold?"

"I love your son…and I'm not putting anything on hold…he is the largest part of my life now anyway…"

"I can tell…I'm glad you love him…he's loved you for a long time…"

Sydney looked at her questioningly.

"He has?"

"Yes…he used to tell me about you…he'd call sometimes at horrid hours of the night and morning, telling me he couldn't sleep because you were somewhere…"

Sydney smiled remembering their conversation from that joyous day when SD-6 had fallen.

"I can tell you take very good care of him…"

"Thank you," Sydney said sincerely.

"He depends on you a lot doesn't he?"

"Yes…but that works both ways…he's been my lifeline for a long time, it's my turn to return the favor."

"It's rather ironic don't you think?"

"What?"

"Your relationship…considering…"

Sydney knew this was coming, "Yeah, we…well, we don't really talk about it…Vaughn's the bigger man here…he's the one that could hold the grudge…I'm very sorry…"

"There is no need for you to apologize…"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"My mother, she saved Vaughn…"

"What do you mean?"

"She made the call, she told me where he was so I could go get him. If she wouldn't have called…he'd probably be dead…"

"I see…that adds to the irony doesn't it."

Sydney looked at Amélie amazed; she certainly was an amazing woman.

"I'm glad that you're there for him…"

"Me too," Sydney said.

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other's company.

Sydney finally had to ask, "So…what kinds of things did Michael do when he was younger?"

Amélie smiled, "You mean what kinds of things can I divulge to you that would embarrass the hell out of my son?"

"Exactly!" Sydney said smiling.

"Well…Michael was a very enjoyable child. He was quiet and introspective yet mischievous and rambunctious at times. He was very well rounded. He had of course his moments when he was a small boy, he'd get into trouble and the like. He was always very athletic…" Amélie stopped for a moment thinking, "He changed somewhat after his father died…although I tried to make it clear, I think he felt as though he had to be responsible…had to be the man of the house. I think some of William's friends even mentioned that to him, and he took it to heart. He was always a very loving child, and after William's death, he was very protective of me." Amélie smiled fondly at the memories. "He became a man very young Sydney, a boy that tried to take on the role of a man…he cried the day of his father's funeral, and never after…" she added sadly.

Sydney was near tears, realizing how much this whole ordeal must have affected him for him to cry again openly. "I'm so sorry that my mother took your husband away from you and made Michael grow up too fast…"

"No, no…this wasn't my intention…you asked about Michael as a boy, and I'm telling you. He turned out better than I ever dreamed; he's a wonderful son and a good man. You don't need to apologize. You are not your mother and Michael doesn't blame you in the least and neither do I…but that's not really what you want to know about…so let's see…really embarrassing…hmm…he broke a window once when he was about six. He was playing in the back yard and I told him to hit the ball the other way because he was hitting it towards the house. He didn't listen and let one fly and it hit the bedroom window. I ran in to the room to see what happened and found a familiar looking baseball on the floor. I ran outside to find Michael but he wasn't in the yard. I was really getting worried because I couldn't find him, but I eventually located him in the basement. He was terrified when he saw me. I asked him why he wasn't playing baseball anymore and he lied through his teeth! I kept up the charade for a while before laying the guilt on. I explained that we could solve any problem as long as he always told me the truth. He caved, crying, and confessed. We had a nice long chat then and a glass of milk, I remember. When William got home, I explained that the window had been broken by accident. William made Michael do a few extra chores but I averted a large crisis between father and son. And Michael never lied to me again…as far as I know," Amélie said smiling.

Sydney was smiling too, "That was so good, classic! I can totally just imagine him doing it!"

"Yes…he was a delightful boy…would you like to hear more?"

"Yes!" Sydney said quickly and enthusiastically.

Amélie smiled and thought a moment; "He never learned to say ketchup until he was about six or seven. William would try to correct him but I though it was so adorable so I never did. He used to say it 'check-up.'"

Sydney laughed.

"He played in a pee wee hockey league…William introduced him to hockey but William never played himself. He loved to watch Michael though…Michael would fly across that ice…and he'd be so happy when his father would come to a game. William came to as many as he could, but he was busy a lot at work. Michael would play ten times harder when William was there. Not that he didn't play hard when he wasn't, but he was always amazing when William came – he'd put so much effort into making his father proud – that's something that's stuck with him…" She looked to Sydney who nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I figured that, but Vau–, Michael doesn't really talk about his father much…I'm sorry, it might be driving you nuts, but I'm just so used to calling him Vaughn – it's more of an endearment than anything else anymore…"

"I understand…Michael's always been a bit of a perfectionist too – he'd get extremely angry with himself if he made a mistake – more so after his father died. Before that, William and he would talk about it; Michael would ask his father's opinion on how to improve whatever he made the mistake on. I think he had a rather awful time after his father died. It wasn't that he didn't talk to me, but something was missing…a few days after the funeral Michael asked me to take him to the ice rink. I drove him and he skated all day long. All day…after that, if he needed to get away, he'd go the rink. It was quiet, he could think, he told me. I liked to watch him too – every once in a while, I'd go down and just watch him for hours without him knowing I was there, watching him work out his frustrations, his anger, whatever…"

Amélie stopped a minute, obviously deep in thought about something.

"You know," she continued, "I can only remember one time when Michael really lost control. I think it was one of those things that had been building. He rarely talked about his father then either…he was about 15 I guess. He got into the usual fights that boys get into in a heated hockey game, but he never looked for fights like some boys do. He didn't like violence as a general rule…this one game…a boy from the opposing team made a comment about Michael being fatherless and I believe he made it seem as though William had been a coward or something. Well, Michael tolerated it for a while, but after a few times, he was very angry. The boy took it a step further and checked him on the ice…and Michael lost all composure. I remember watching…Michael threw down his gloves and basically attacked the boy. The referee couldn't pull him off. I ran down as close as they would let me get, watching with fear and a kind of terrified amazement as my son pummeled another child. Another referee finally came over and they were able to pull Michael off and they threw him out of the game…"

Amélie stopped, shaking her head, as if trying to rid herself of the unpleasant image. Sydney stayed quiet, just thinking about what Amélie had said.

Then she continued further, "I met him at the door and the look of fear and rage in his eyes made me stop. We didn't talk on the way home and when we got in the door, he went to his room and changed and then came back into the kitchen…I think he was waiting for punishment…

Flashback  
"Sit down Michael," his mother said in English…boy, he was in trouble.

Here it comes, he thought…but his mother simply looked at him. She turned towards the refrigerator and pulled a few things out. Michael couldn't see what she was doing. When she turned, she handed him an ice pack and set a glass of milk in front of him.

He looked at his mother with a questioning look.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked quietly.

Michael looked at her uncertainly.

She smiled and sat down next to him, placing the ice pack on his left hand, which was bruised and bleeding slightly. She got up and disappeared. Michael thought that perhaps she had given up on asking, but she came back a few minutes later. She said nothing as she sat down next to him again, removing the ice pack. She busied herself cleaning his knuckles with antiseptic. She placed a gauze pad over them and then wrapped it with more rolled gauze. The she replaced the ice pack. Michael took a drink of the milk.  
Amélie was silent, waiting for Michael to start. When he actually started talking, she had to lean closer to hear him.

"…don't know what happened…it was like I snapped – it wasn't me anymore…I couldn't stop hitting him…I didn't want to stop. I just wanted him to stop talking. He kept saying things…about dad…and I couldn't take it anymore…it scared me mom."

"Why do you think it happened Michael?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Can I make a guess?" she prodded gently.

He nodded.

"Michael, I think this has been coming for a while – years – probably about seven? I think you've sealed yourself off Michael and I think all the anger and the hurt over what happened to your father and me and you…those all built up. I know we talk, but I'm surprised you haven't had an outburst sooner. It's ok to be mad…or anything you need to feel. You don't have to be so controlled all the time with your emotions…You're still a child Michael; you should be one as long as you can. I'm sorry if I haven't made that clear enough."

"Mom, I have been a child. I don't know…it was like everything compounded at once."

"Do you feel angry a lot?"

"No…and I DO talk to you when I need to…it's not like I wear my heart on my sleeve but I'm not like guarded all the time either."

"No, I think you're very well balanced and adjusted."

Michael smiled, "Thanks…" he took another drink of milk. "So you're not mad at me? You're not going to ground me?"

Amélie smiled, "No Michael. I'm not mad and you're not grounded. Just remember to talk to me if you start to feel that way again, ok? Let's skip the violence in the future…"

"Ok mom."

"I love you Michael, more than you'll ever know," she said hugging her son tightly.

"I love you too mom."  
End Flashback

Sydney stared at Amélie as she finished the story. "Thank you."

Amélie smiled, "I'm sorry, I've probably talked my welcome away…"

"NO! It's so nice to hear about Michael's childhood. I love it." Sydney stopped, glancing at her watch.

"Oh! Amélie, I have to wake Michael and give him his medication. I'd love to hear more, just give me a few minutes…if you're still up to more story telling…"

"Of course, I'll come with you…"

"Ok."


	63. Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

**Chapter 63: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? **

_"The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire." – Richard Nixon _

"We ought to do good to others simply as a horse runs, or a bee makes honey, or a vine bears grapes season after season without thinking of the grapes it has borne." – Marcus Aurelius

"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." – James Baldwin

* * *

The two went back into the house and Sydney retrieved Vaughn's pills from their place on the counter. She opened the door quietly and Amélie followed her into the room. 

Sydney sat down on the bed and placed her hand on Vaughn's chest.  
"Vaughn? Honey, you have to wake up and take your pills."

He woke rather quickly to Sydney's surprise and smiled at her.

"Hey," he said. He looked to his mother, "Hello Maman…"

"Hello Michel," she said smiling.

He let Sydney help him with the pills and then looked to the two most important women in his life.

"So, I assume that my mother has been filling you full of every embarrassing thing she can come up with from my childhood…haven't you mother?"

Amélie smiled, "Not even close – there are so many to choose from!"

Vaughn smiled. Sydney looked at him and he thought he detected something different about the way she was looking at him. He decided it could wait until later though.

Sydney seemed to notice Vaughn's scrutiny; "Are you hungry?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, sure," he said.

She kissed him, "I'll try to round up the cooking detail…"

Sydney went off in search of Will and Francie.

That left Amélie alone with her son.

"What did you tell her?" he asked his mother.

"About your childhood…"

"What about my childhood?"

"Are you concerned that I told her about your wild, lady-killer days?"

Vaughn smiled, "No, she's acting different mom, what did you tell her?"

"I told her about your father…what happened after he died…"

"Why? That probably only made her feel bad. She blames herself enough as it is!"

Amélie smiled, "We talked about that as well…she wanted to know Michel."

"What did you tell her?"

"Maybe you should ask her yourself…"

Sydney came in then with Will and Francie ending Vaughn's chances of finding out what was said between Sydney and his mother.

"I found them," she said, "and they've agreed to make another wonderful meal!"

The phone rang a minute after they all started talking about what to make.

Will excused himself and went to answer it.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello…is this Will?"

"Yeah…hi Jack…"

"Is Sydney available?"

"Uh, sure, just a sec." Will put down the phone and went into the bedroom. "Syd – it's for you."

Sydney looked at him trying to read his face. He mouthed 'your dad' and she nodded.

"Excuse me…" She picked up the phone, "Dad?"

"Sydney! How are you? How is Vaughn? I've been waiting to hear from you!"

Sydney smiled – this was so bizarre, "I'm sorry dad, things got even worse after you left, we've had quite a day. I'm sorry I didn't call…"

"That's ok sweetheart. Do you need anything? Dinner?"

"No, I think we have that covered tonight." She wavered, trying to decide if she should say anything, "Can you hold on for a second?"

"Sure…"

"Ok…" She ran off to the bedroom. "Amélie? Could I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course."

Will, Francie and Vaughn all exchanged glances as Amélie followed Sydney out.

"What is it Sydney?"

"I need to ask you something. My dad is on the phone and I was going to invite him over for dinner…would that make you uncomfortable to have him here?"

She smiled, "Why should it?"

"I don't think I need to answer that."

"It's fine Sydney – you're father had nothing to do with William's death either."

Sydney smiled, "Only if you're sure…"

"I am dear; invite him."

"Ok." Sydney went back to the phone and Amélie went back to the bedroom.

"Dad? Would you like to join us for dinner?"

"Sure Sydney."

"There's just one thing…"

"What?"

"Vaughn's mother is here too…"

There was silence on the other end.

"Dad?" Sydney said after a long pause of dead air.

"Yes?"

"Do you still want to come?"

"Does Amélie mind?"

"No, I already asked her."

"If you're certain it won't make her uncomfortable…"

"She said it was fine."

"Ok," Jack said somewhat unsurely.

"I'll see you in a bit then."

"Ok, goodbye sweetheart."

"Bye dad.

Sydney hung up and prayed everything would go well.

She retreated back to the bedroom, saying, "My dad is coming over for dinner too…"

Vaughn looked at her and Will and Francie exchanged glances as well. No one said anything until finally Amélie said, "Oh for heaven sakes! It'll be fine! Stop worrying!"

It seemed a collective sigh was echoed throughout the room and tension seemed to ease.  
Francie then asked, "Well…what should we make?"

The group chattered on for a few minutes before deciding that Will and Francie could decide what to make – a surprise of sorts.

Will and Francie left to start and Sydney, Vaughn and Amélie were left to themselves.

Sydney looked to Vaughn, "You know, before Will gets too involved with dinner, we should have him help us move you…do you feel well enough to go out into the living room?"

Vaughn smiled, "Can we eat outside again?" His face was filled with hope and innocence.

Sydney hesitated, "Well…I guess we could, but let's move you to the couch for now, ok?"

"Ok."

Sydney smiled and went off to get Will.

Vaughn looked at his mother who was smiling widely at him, "What?"

"I like her Michel."

Vaughn smiled back, "Good."

Sydney came back in with Will in tow, "Hey buddy, ready?" he asked Vaughn.

"Yup."

Sydney and Will each took a side as usual after Sydney helped Vaughn sit up. She asked Amélie to carry the oxygen and they moved Vaughn out onto the couch. Sydney sat down, re-hooking up the oxygen and Amélie sat down across from them. Will went back to help Francie.

Sydney looked to Vaughn saying, "We should really do the deep breathing Vaughn, we haven't done it all day."

Vaughn nodded and Sydney sat him up and took off his shirt and then the rib wrap. Amélie watched with interest as Sydney lay Vaughn back down and placed her hand on his chest.

"Ok…deep breath," Sydney said taking one with him, "And let it out…"

She repeated that several times and then moved on, "Ok…deep breath and hold it…one…two…three…let it out."

Amélie watched as they did that a few more times and also noted that winces that her son made several times too. She couldn't see everything from her vantage point across from the couple, but she could see the assortment of gauze bandages on her son's chest. She shook her head trying to erase the thoughts of torment that were going through her mind.

Sydney sat Vaughn up again to reapply the rib wrap.

Before she could start, Amélie said, "Stop. Wait."

Vaughn and Sydney looked over to her as she stood and then approached them. She stopped about a foot away and knelt down by the couch. She reached out her hand and gently traced over the soft white pads that littered her son's back.

"Oh Michael," she whispered.

She moved to the front and looked over the surgical bandages and the spectrum of dark and murky shades on Vaughn's chest and abdomen.

Silent tears began to run down her cheeks as she brought her hand up to her son's face. She cupped his cheek and kissed his head before backing away slowly, shaking her head.

Sydney was teary too, realizing that this was the first time that Vaughn's mother had really witnessed any of the wounds up close.

She scolded herself for not preparing Amélie before taking Vaughn's shirt off. She thanked herself for not checking or changing any bandages – at least she'd had enough sense not to subject her to that without warning.

She looked to Vaughn, whose face was cloudy and troubled. He looked up at Sydney and she could see that he was thinking the same thing she was. She rewrapped his ribs in silence, kissing him gently and then moved to hug Vaughn's mother.

"I'm sorry Amélie, I didn't think…I should have better prepared you for that…"

Amélie shook her head, "No…you told me what happened to him, told me of the extent of his injuries. I just wasn't clear I guess…now I know…"

"I had the same reaction – it's rather daunting…hearing and seeing are two very different things."

Amélie hugged Sydney for another moment and they both moved back to Vaughn. He looked up at his mother with remorse and guilt, be he didn't know what to say.

He finally settled on, "It's not as bad as it looks…" but by the end of the sentence, it turned into more of a question than a statement.

Sydney smiled knowingly – he was trying to make his mother feel better, to protect her…be the man…like always.

His mother was just as perceptive however, "Michel, you don't have to protect me…it's not ok that they are intimidating injuries, but tell me the truth – what did they do to you? What caused those?" she asked pointing to his chest and back.

Michael looked to Sydney, unsure if he should really divulge everything to her…wondering if he actually could. It wasn't that he didn't trust his mother. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell her. It wasn't that he thought she couldn't handle it. It wasn't that he didn't feel safe with his mother…it was just that she simply wasn't Sydney.

Sydney nodded, encouraging him, but he hesitated. "Mom…I'm not sure you really want to know…"

"What…you don't think I can handle it?"

"No…it's not that…I just…" he faltered unsure of where he really wanted to go with this thought, and unsure of how to tell her without hurting her feelings.

Sydney seemed to understand, "I think maybe Michael's unsure if he really wants you to know…it's not pretty…"

Vaughn smiled slightly, God she knew him well.

"He's told you, hasn't he?" Amélie asked Sydney.

"Well, yes, but not all at of it and it's taken a long time – he didn't just spill it all at once…"

"It's kind of hard to talk about too…" he admitted.

Amélie clicked her tongue, "I understand…and I can also understand why you'd talk to Sydney. I don't need to hear it all Michael, but I'm your mother, and my imagination may be worse than the truth…"

"Probably not…" Michael said quietly, looking away.

"Why do you say that?" Amélie said somewhat alarmed.

"They got imaginative…"

Sydney looked uncertainly at Vaughn. She could already see the familiar signs of torture…they were flashing in his eyes…she knew he was reliving something already. She was also considering if the public couch, with Will and Francie mere feet away, was the best place to air out Amélie's fears and questions.

"Uh, maybe we should talk about this later…" Sydney said adding in a hushed tone, "remember, Francie doesn't know what really happened. She doesn't know we work for the CIA."

Amélie nodded somewhat annoyed, but kept her comments to herself.

Vaughn looked relieved and smiled at Sydney. The doorbell saved them any further discussion on the matter – it would have to wait until later.


	64. The Showdown ok, it’s short

**P/N: Sorry that the update took so long. I was away on vacation and had to make up a lot of work. I will have a special 3 chapter update to make up for the delay.**

**Chapter 64: The Showdown (ok, it's short – because I'm evil and had to make a cliffhanger) **

_"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home." – Johann von Goethe _

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." – Ingrid Bergman

"Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks." – Lin Yutang

* * *

Sydney went to the door and her father smiled nervously on the other side.

"Hello Sydney," he said entering and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi dad," she motioned for him to follow her into the living room.

"Hello!" he called to Francie and will who said unitarily, "Hi Jack!"

He smiled at Vaughn, "Are you feeling better Vau–, Michael?"

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah…thanks…"

Jack turned to Amélie, "Well…hello Amélie…it's been a very long time…you look wonderful. How have you been?"

Amélie smiled, accepting Jack's outstretched hand, "I'm well, thank you…and yourself?"

"I can't complain," he said smiling.

Sydney sat down next to Vaughn. "Please, sit down," she said sweetly.

Amélie and Jack sat down next to each other in chairs adjacent to the couch.

Will and Francie emerged from the kitchen, "Hey! Dinner should be ready in about 15 minutes," Francie notified everyone.

"Excellent," Jack said. He turned to Vaughn, "So – do you think I'll get my rematch tonight?"

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah, I think that can be arranged."

Amélie turned to Jack, "Rematch?"

"Well…it turns out that your son is quite the adept strategist. I myself am quite well versed in game theory, but Michael and I tied the last game of Othello that we played. I'm much looking forward to testing his wits again tonight."

"I see, well Michael has always been an excellent thinker on his feet…"

Sydney smiled down at Vaughn who was watching their parents carry on a conversation.

She leaned down and whispered in his ear, "This seems to be going quite well – I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop…"

Vaughn smiled and pulled her over to kiss him.

They only stopped when they realized that the talking had ceased.

They turned to see that their parents as well as their friends were watching them in amusement.

Will looked mischievously, "Yeah, you know…that's all those two do…"

Sydney threw him a disapproving glance and he smiled evilly back.

Jack finally saved them from any further embarrassment, "So…what delight have you created for us tonight Francie?"

Francie beamed, "Well…Will and I decided to go with chicken cordon bleu, which will be served tonight with our house specialty: the lightly seasoned potato puff, and Will's wonderful vegetable medley," she smiled the smile of a trained hostess, "and for dessert, we've prepared another house specialty: our world famous cheesecake with raspberry and blackberry sauce."

Everyone clapped.

"Thank you…thank you…I hope you enjoy your meal," Francie said taking a bow.

Francie and Will made a large production of brining in the meal, serving everyone like they would if they had been dining at Francie's restaurant. Once everyone had their plates, the eating began.

Dinner conversation remained light, Jack and Amélie exchanged stories about their children's childhoods, much to the dismay of whichever child they were discussing.

Francie had cut Vaughn's dinner again, which he smiled at her for, but he let Sydney help him eat. She was proud of him though, he was allowing her to help him, even in front of their parents, and she didn't sense any animosity from him about the subject.

After the delightful cheesecake dessert, everyone waited until Will and Francie came back from cleaning up.

Then the games began.

Jack took great pleasure in setting up the board and he moved his chair closer to the couch again. Sydney had moved to sit behind Vaughn on the couch after dinner, and neither made any indication that she should move, so that's where she stayed through the game. Everyone else moved closer in anticipation, hovering near the couch.

The room grew silent as the two players began, locked in concentration.

Jack made his move, turning several of Vaughn's white pieces to his black. On Vaughn's next turn, however, he took back pieces to white.

Everyone sat breathless as the last few squares were filled with either a white or a black game piece.

No one said anything as Jack counted the pieces…

Waiting…

Breathless…

No sound was uttered from anyone in the room…

Glances were exchanged…

Sydney tightened her grip on Vaughn…

It seemed hours were passing by…

Will couldn't take it any more, straining to count for himself, "Oh come on! Who won!" he said loudly, making everyone jump.

"Sorry, but come on the suspense is killing me…"

Jack smiled…


	65. Who the fuck won? hehehe

**Chapter 65: Who the fuck won? (hehehe - I bet that's what you're asking!) and grammatically speaking, it should be 'whom' but that just sounds too weird… **

_"There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." – Alfred Hitchcock _

"Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box." – Italian Proverb

"Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain." – Leo Buscaglia

* * *

Jack smiled, "Well…guess what?" 

"Come on!" Will pleaded.

"It's a tie…"

Will let out a groan, "You have GOT to be shitting me!"

Francie echoed, "Are either of you ever going to win…"

Jack said thoughtfully, "Statistically speaking, what Vaughn and I have accomplished is highly improbable."

Vaughn smiled.

"Usually, there can't be a draw in Othello…someone must win…"

"Wanna play again?" Vaughn said yawning slightly.

Sydney smiled and smoothed his hair.

Jack smiled too, "No…I don't think we should break any more statistical laws tonight…perhaps the next time I visit? Or perhaps next time we should try chess…"

Vaughn laughed, "You think you're better at chess?"

"We shall see, won't we?" he said grinning.

Sydney was positively beaming, she loved that her father and Vaughn seemed to be getting along so well. This night had been like a dream. Family and friends, good food and happy conversation. It seemed too surreal to have actually just transpired.

Jack concluded, "Well, I suppose I should be going. I've got an early day tomorrow. Tonight was most enjoyable. I haven't had a nice dinner like this in years. We certainly must do it again soon."

Amélie smiled, "Yes, it was very nice…"

Jack said his goodbyes to everyone and left, promising to stop by in the next few days with work for Sydney.

The rest of the occupants of the house tried to come up with sleeping arrangements.

Everyone had insisted that Amélie stay the night; it was too late to drive back home.

They had a rollaway bed for just such occasions and they set it up in the spare room.

Will got the bed while Francie and Sydney got the linens and the three worked together to get the bed made.

That left Vaughn and his mother alone in the living room.

Amélie looked over at her son who was resting comfortably on the couch.

He noticed her looking and asked, "What?"

She smiled, "You're really very happy here aren't you?"

"Yeah…why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know…you seem very happy Michel, that makes me happy."

He smiled, "Are you saying you approve of Sydney?"

"You don't need my approval, but I think you already know you have it."

She smiled at him for a few more minutes, "Are you going to tell me what they did to you?"

"Well, that ruined the moment mom…"

"I'd really like to know…"

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"Please Michael."

She asked in English, she was dead serious, "It was horrible…" he began, "beatings, kickings, burnings, whippings, tauntings…they were very good at what they did…I'd rather stay away from the details, ok?"

He looked over pleading with her so he didn't have to elaborate any further. The night had been so enjoyable; he really didn't want to think about that now.

She could tell from his pleading tone that he didn't want to go any further, "Alright Michel."

Sydney came back in then to tell Amélie that her bed was ready.

"Thank you dear."

Will came out to help Sydney get Vaughn back to bed and they deposited him gently on his side of the bed.

Will bid them goodnight and Francie poked her head in to do the same.

Sydney got dressed for bed and helped Vaughn do the same and then she brushed and helped him with that as well.

She was just about to close the door for the night when Amélie stuck her head in.

"I just wanted to come in to say goodnight," she said moving into the room. She placed a kiss on Michael's forehead and then did the same as she went past Sydney out the door. "Goodnight you two," she said closing the door behind her.

Sydney smiled as she moved over to the bed, shutting off lights save the one that she reminded herself to leave on.

"Well…I think your mom likes me," she said smiling proudly at Vaughn.

"How could she not like you?"

She got into bed and snuggled closer to him. She had a sudden thought, "Oh honey! You wanted to go outside tonight, I'm sorry…"

"That's ok, it was a great night Syd."

"It really was, wasn't it?"

"Yeah…thanks…"

"For what?"

"Being you…"

She leaned up and kissed him. "So…slugger…what do you want to do with our time tonight?"

"Slugger?" he said eyebrows raised.

"Yeah…you really could hit the ball – right through the window, so your mom said. I hope your aim has improved…"

"You haven't complained so far…what else did she tell you?" he asked with a hint of apprehension.

"Um…check-up…"

"Oh god!"

"Yep, and pee wee hockey…and teenage hockey," she stopped.

"What?" he asked.

"It was nice to hear about your childhood…" she looked at him wondering if she should continue, "did you have a happy childhood?"

Vaughn cocked his head, "Yes, why do you ask? What did she say?"

"Your mom said that you grew up fast…after your father died…lots of pressure, lots to live up to…"

He looked down slightly, averting her eyes, "That had little to do with my father's death and more with my own personality…Yeah, I felt like I had to be the man around, but it's not like I never had any fun or anything…I just…it was hard sometimes…"

"I'll bet."

"Well, Sydney, you should know…you lost a parent too…"

"But I didn't remember a lot of her…you were older…"

"Yeah, but your dad wasn't around either…"

"Well…no…"

"What story did she tell you?"

"Um…the one where you kind of beat up the kid from the other hockey team."

"Oh…"

She didn't say anything else.

"Does that change your opinion of me?"

"No, of course not…it was just…actually, it was kind of nice to know that you got mad about it…I don't know, it made me appreciate you even more…knowing what you went through…"

"Oh…"

"I meant that in a good way…"

He smiled. "Thanks." He was quiet a minute and then asked, "Were you ever mad at your mom?"

"What do you mean?"

"For dying…"

"Uh…maybe…not often, but I thought it was an accident…"

"Yeah, I knew it wasn't…I mean I knew how my dad died, in service as my mother would always say, but I would get angry…wondering why he couldn't have just had a different job, why he had to go off and get himself killed, you know?"

"Yeah…"

"But then I would just get angry with myself, because I knew it wasn't his fault, it's not like he asked to die or anything…I really don't know why I just told you that…"

She smiled, "Maybe it's something you needed to say…"

"I've never told anyone that Sydney," he said looking rather frightened.

"I won't tell anyone," she assured him, "thank you for telling me…"

He smiled weakly, "Yeah…that's kind of scary…"

"What is?"

"Well…I seem to just spill everything to you, don't I?"

She smiled again, "Yeah…so?"

"Well…that kind of puts you in a rather compromising position…"

"Why?"

"Well, it makes you the sole knower of everything about me…"

"That's fine with me Michael."

He smiled, "You use that when you want to be really serious now…"

"You've noticed."

"Yeah…"

"Seriously, I want you to be able to tell me everything…I tell you everything…don't get scared because you can trust me you know…"

He smiled, "That's not what scares me…"

"What does then?"

"That you bring it out so easily…you don't even have to ask…"

She smiled again and moved up to kiss him.

"You know…it's been awhile…a few days…"

He got the drift, his eyes becoming smoky, "Yeah, I had that whole S.H. schedule penciled in…we never got around to seeing any of those through…"

"You want to now?"

"Yeah…"

"Does it bother you?"

"What?"

"That your mother is in the other room, in the same house…" she left her thought moving to sit in his lap and grinding her hips into his groin.

"Uhn…that's so bad Sydney…" he tried to get some kind of composure through all her grinding, "I hadn't even thought about that…now that's all I'm gonna think about."

She smiled evilly and ground harder, loving the effect she was having on him and loving the feeling of him rapidly becoming harder beneath her.

"I could so get you in trouble…or really embarrassed…"

"Don't Syd…come on…please…"

She smiled evilly again and moved her position so her center ground the tip through the material of their clothing, "I could make you yell…or moan really loud…"

Words were lost to him however, and at the moment, he really could have cared less if his mother heard them.

"You know," he said gaining a little composure back, "honestly…I really don't care right now…I just want to be inside you…"

Her evil smile turned softer and she leaned down, "You know what? I couldn't agree with you more…I've missed having you inside me too…we'll save the screaming in ecstasy for another night, ok?"

She applauded herself for coming to her senses before totally boinking the hell out of Vaughn after the day and previous night he'd had.

She sat up on his lap and removed her shirt. His hand moved to cup her breast, kneading gently and teasing the nipples. She moved off him with protest coming from him and removed the rest of her clothing.

She uncovered Vaughn fully and then took her time taking the rest of his clothes off. She took the boxers off first, making a large production of peeling them off of him and then moved back up his body, trailing her nails across his bare legs and raking them across the material of his shirt.

She leaned over and sat on his lap again, eliciting a hiss from him when she came in contact with his erect member. She smiled and sat him up, easing the sling off of his arm before gently laying his injured arm at his side.

She leaned him back on the pillow and went back to work on his shirt then, starting from the bottom of the shirt just to drive him nuts. She opened one button and kissed the area she had freed from the clothing. She did this continuously until she reached the last button. She leaned down with a wicked grin on her face and took the last button between her teeth. She pulled gently, watching in amusement at the look he gave her and the smoldering intensity that rested there in the jade embers of his eyes.

She moved the button from side to side, making him wait. His hand moved up to help, but she pushed it away. Then without warning she yanked harder on the button and it popped off into her mouth. She grinned and spit it out as he chuckled.

"God that was sexy…" he told her.

She eased the material of his shirt over and off of his shoulders and then discarded the slightly damaged bit of material on the floor.

"How good do you feel tonight?" she asked seriously.

He grinned, thinking that she was being coy, but the look on her face was quite serious, "You mean really or pillow talk?"

"Really…"

"I'm ok…I mean…I feel alright…I mean…not like great…but I'm ok…why?"

"Are you in pain?"

"Well…kinda…but not anymore than usual…"

Her gaze softened even further, "Ok…then I'm just gonna keep this up…we'll wait…"

"Wait for what?" he asked obviously confused.

"I was gonna…never mind honey…"

"What? You were gonna what?"

"Let you be on top…but I want to make sure you're ok before we do that…"

"NO! I feel great…fine…wonderful, never better!" he said backpedaling, "I didn't know that's what you meant!"

She smiled gently, "No…I want you to be ready…I don't want you to hurt yourself. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned it…"

"But I wanna be on top…" he whined.

"I know sweetie, but not tonight…that was really stupid of me…I'm sorry, now I probably totally ruined it for you…"

He smiled, "Sydney, you could never ruin it…well…maybe," he said slyly, "no…I have a naked woman sitting atop me…I think I'm good. I wanna be on top, but I can wait. You've been doing a fine job so far…"

She smiled, "You are truly an amazing man…seriously Vaughn, not to like ruin the mood more or anything, but you handle all of this really well…"

"Well, like I said, you've been doing a great job so far…maybe if I had someone who was really rotten in bed, I'd be in worse shape…"

She slapped him playfully on the arm, "I love you…"

"I love you too."

"No more talking now…" she said covering his mouth with her own, not giving him a chance to argue – not that he would have.

She moved herself down him further until his penis was resting against her folds. She reached down and gripped him, eliciting a rather loud moan from him in the process. She didn't waste anymore time; she placed him at her entrance and pushed down, sprawling her hands on his chest as she moved down until he was filling her fully. His hand, still on her breast, alternated kneading gently and tweaking the nipple until they were hard, jutting out and painfully sensitive.  
She moaned herself then, gripping him tightly inside her before starting to move. His eyes were closed and his head was pushed back into the pillow as she started her first movements. He started helping then after a few more moments of just enjoying the feel of being sheathed inside her.

He reached down and worried her clit for her. Her movements faltered slightly, not expecting that from him, and when she looked down at him, he smiled back knowingly. He continued to work on her, moving from side to side, to putting pressure on just one side of her clit, to tweaking gently. Soon, it was she who was humming in pleasure, and he was grinning like a fool under her, happy that she was enjoying herself so much. He rolled her clit then, taking it between his fingers. Sydney cried out and Vaughn smiled happily at her reaction. He moved his legs up to help thrust into her more as he rubbed her faster, her back arching so that she was closer to him. Her channel gripped him even impossibly harder, her muscles rippling, making his release imminent. Her frenzied movements and bucking release triggered his own explosion, filling her with every want and need he had. Sydney collapsed on top of him after the culmination, her name softly on his lips as her head nuzzled under his chin. He placed his hand under her chin, making her look up at him as her muscles still spasmed gently around him, making him burn with adoration for her.

"I love you…so much…" he said, love evident in his gaze.

She smiled, "I love you too…"

No more words were needed; their consummation alone had transcended the need for words. Words were boundaries, and they had surpassed the superfluous need for speech that night…actions spoke louder than words.


	66. Breakfast at Sydney’s

**Chapter 66: Breakfast at Sydney's **

_"The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" – Eugene Kennedy _

"The people with whom you choose to spend your time can easily determine how far ahead you get in life." – Brian Koslow

* * *

Wednesday morning of Week 3 on the Road to Recovery was a rather languid yet joyous time. Sydney and Vaughn woke at virtually the same time, locked in each other's embrace and still happily joined. 

"Morning," Vaughn said throatily.

"Mmm…" Sydney replied as Vaughn chuckled, "what time is it?" she finally asked after a few more contented moments in Vaughn's warm embrace.

"Uh…like 8:30…"

"Wow…we slept in," Sydney said raising her head and resting it gently on Vaughn's chest so she could look at him.

"Yeah…"

"How are you feeling today?"

"Right now, I'm feeling fine…" he said smiling and bucking his hips gently.

She smiled too, "Uh…I don't think so Vaughn. Remember the other occupant of the house at the moment?"

"That didn't stop us last night…"

"Well, no…but the morning is a little worse than that…" she said with her eyebrow raised, "she might not have heard us last night, but I'm sure she would this morning."

"Oh, ok…" he said sighing unhappily.

She moved off of him reluctantly and grabbed her robe from the closet.

"So…you want breakfast? I'm sure that Will and Francie have left by now…"

"Sure…"

"I'll go see if your mom is awake…"

"I'm sure she is," Vaughn said smiling.

She kissed him and went out into the hall. Francie's door was wide open, so she was correct, they must have left and Amélie was sitting at the kitchen counter, reading the newspaper.

"Morning," Sydney said yawning, "Excuse me as well," she said sheepishly.

"Good morning Sydney…"

"Will and Francie left already?"

"Yes, they left earlier…"

"I'm sorry, how long have you been up? You could have woken us…"

"No…I'm sure Michael needs all the rest he can get…I've been up about an hour or so…I'm an early riser."

"Did you eat breakfast?"

"No, but there's coffee…"

"Oh, good…well…let's see what we have and I'll whip something up."

"Why don't you let me do that?"

"No…you're our guest, I'm not going to put you to work!"

"Nonsense, I haven't cooked Michael a meal in ages, let me…you can get ready and help him as well…"

"Well…if you're sure…"

"I am…"

"Well, ok…just fish around for whatever you need, pans or whatever," Sydney said smiling as she returned to the bedroom.

"Hey…mom up?"

"Yeah, she said she's been up for a while…she's making breakfast…I was shooed out of the kitchen…"

"Really?"

"Yup…I was told I could go get ready and then help you…"

"We're screwed…"

"What do you mean?"

"She totally knows…"

"Why do you say that?" Sydney asked as she started to dress.

"You can get ready and then help me? She's totally on to us!"

"No, she's not…she probably just wants to be of some use…help you in some way…"

"Oh, I am so dead…"

She smiled, "Relax, she doesn't know…come on, we've got to change your bandages and such…"

Vaughn nodded his head and Sydney moved to help him.

They did the deep breathing exercises and then Sydney changed the bandages.

"Ok…you wanna try the other exercises?"

"Uh…well…ok…"

"If you don't feel well enough, we can wait…"

"No, I don't want to wait…"

"Tom said you need to know your limits…is this something you can do?" she asked completely seriously.

"Yes," he said forcefully.

"Ok…" She moved to sit on his legs and pulled him up. She didn't see any noticeable change in the way he was doing the crunches, but he didn't seem to wince as much today as other days.

There was a knock on the door and Sydney attempted to scramble off of Vaughn's lap before the door opened, but it didn't work.

Amélie walked in to see the sight of Sydney sitting on a half-naked version of her son. At least the correct half was covered, Sydney thought, thanking herself for getting him halfway dressed before starting the exercises.

Amélie looked at the couple strangely, and Sydney thought it probably warranted an explanation.

"He has exercises he has to do…they're these crunches…sit-up crunch things…" Sydney trailed off; more embarrassed now than she had been when Amélie first entered.

Amélie smiled and set down the tray of food. She handed Sydney a plate and then Vaughn one too. Sydney moved off to sit on the bed next to Vaughn and Amélie sat on a chair next to the bed.

She glanced at the bed itself and raised on eyebrow in total Vaughn fashion before looking to her plate and eating.

Vaughn looked sideways to Sydney who had her face buried in the plate.

He smiled when he saw what his mother had made, "Pancakes? Is this Mickey Mouse I see?"

Amélie smiled at her son, looking up, "Yes, it would be…you remembered?"

"How could I forget?" He turned to Sydney; "Whenever I was sick, mom would whip out the special pan – the mouse pan she called it, and make me Mickey Mouse pancakes…I swear it could cure anything…" he smiled wistfully.

Sydney smiled and the three ate in relative silence for a few minutes.

Amélie broke the silence with, "Did we have fun last night Michel?" she asked innocently, looking at her son.

Sydney blushed and when she looked at Vaughn, he was turning a variety of different hues of crimson as well.

"Uh…yeah…I slept quite well. And you?" he asked, trying not to burst out laughing.

"Wonderful…like a baby…which you are not…" she added; making Sydney almost choke on the juice she just drank. "Are you alright Sydney?" she asked concerned.

"Never better," Sydney said smiling at Vaughn's mother.

After breakfast was done, Amélie insisted on cleaning up. "I'm a mother, it's what I do…" she stated.

Sydney was sure she would have washed them all by hand too, but she pointed out she could just put them in the dishwasher. She left, giving Sydney and Vaughn a few moments alone.

"Didn't I tell you? I told you she knew!"

Sydney blushed again, "That was really embarrassing…"

"We're adults Sydney…what we do is not my mother's concern…thankfully…" he added seconds later.

He then went on, "Besides, she totally adores you anyway…I'm surprised she didn't congratulate me or something."

"What do you mean?"

Vaughn turned his head to her, "She told me…she likes you…a lot…even though I don't need her approval, you have hers…"

Sydney smiled, "That's nice…I'm very happy now," she said bouncing slightly like a little girl.

He reached out for her and she eagerly devoured his mouth until they heard his mother's footsteps coming down the hall.

"Well…what do you two have planned today?" Amélie asked as she reappeared in the room to fine Sydney and Vaughn sitting innocently on the bed.

Vaughn smiled and looked over to Sydney. If Amélie noticed, she didn't reply.

"Well…we should get back on track with Vau–, Michael's exercises today, if he feels up to it…other than that…not much…what did you have planned?" Sydney asked.

Amélie smiled, "Well, I thought I might spend some more quality time with you two…what do you do when there isn't anyone else here?"

Vaughn cleared his throat and Sydney just about choked again…

Amélie clicked her tongue, "Oh for heaven sakes! OTHER than that! Please, you are still my son, Michael!"

Vaughn chuckled, "Well…I don't know…we talk, I sleep, we watch TV or movies, do exercises, take baths…yeah…that's pretty much all I'm good for right now…"

Sydney smacked him on the arm, "That's so not true…for one thing, it's week TWO Vaughn, and for another – you're supposed to be sleeping a lot!"

Amélie smiled, "I told you I liked her Michael."

Sydney beamed, "Thank you…"

Vaughn looked to him mother, "How strong are you mom?"

She looked at him strangely, "Why do you ask?"

Vaughn looked at Sydney, "Can we go outside?"

"Uh…last time we attempted moving without help, it didn't go so well…"

"Mom can help," he said, then turned to his mother, "Mom…you'll help, won't you?"

Amélie shrugged, "I can try…I'm not as strong as Sydney, but between the two of us, I'm sure we can get you out there…"

Sydney looked unsurely at mother and son, "Well…ok…but I don't want a repeat of last time. If at ANY moment, you feel sick, we're going back. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it."

Sydney unhooked the oxygen and she moved to help him sit up. Amélie watched interested at how the two worked together to get Michael where he needed to go. Once he was sitting, Sydney supported his left side and his mother moved to support his right.

"Ok…on three…" Sydney said, "One…two…three…"

They lifted Vaughn up and stopped, just waiting, standing for a minute.

"You ok?" she asked looking to his face for any signs of distress.

"I'm good…let's move…"

Sydney nodded and the two women helped Vaughn out onto the patio, into the chair he had resided in days ago. "Well…that worked quite well," his mother said, sitting across from him.

Sydney smiled, "Your ankle is better…"

"Yeah…I think it is…" he said smiling back at her.

Amélie looked over to Sydney, "You know dear…if there was some place you needed to go, I can stay with Michael for awhile…if you needed anything from the store…Just hang on for a minute, I'll just be right back…" she left the patio, going into the house.

Sydney smiled looking at Vaughn, "You want me to leave you alone with her?"

He smiled, "If you wanna go somewhere, I'll be fine…it is my mother after all – I didn't die in her care through my childhood…"

"I don't really have anywhere to go specifically…"

"Well, go shopping, get away for a while…get a facial, I don't care…you can just get away from me and all my trouble…" he smiled though, letting her know that he was kidding.

"You know I don't feel that way – you aren't any trouble…I guess I could go to the store…or a run…maybe I'll go to the gym…"

"Sure…whatever…have fun…" he smiled, pulling her hand and her down until she was sitting on the chair.

"Love you…"

"I love you too…I feel bad leaving you here…"

"Why?"

"Well, you never get to go out anywhere…"

"Well, I'm the invalid, I'm not supposed to go anywhere…"

"I want you to come with me…"

"Maybe later…you go by yourself, have some time to yourself…"

"I don't need any time by myself Vaughn."

"Sure you do…go…I'll be fine…"

She smiled as Amélie walked back out to the patio, "I brought you something…"

"Me?" Sydney asked taken aback.

"Yes…it belonged to Michael's grandmother, my mother…" she held out a silver chain with an angel charm on it. Emeralds dotted the outline of the angel's halo.

"It's beautiful…" Sydney said in wonder, "but I couldn't possibly…" she said shaking her head.

"No, I want you to have it. Michael does too, don't you Michael?"

"Absolutely," he said in agreement.

"Have Michael put it on you," she said handing it to Sydney.

She took it carefully and delicately handed it to Vaughn.

Amélie smiled, "Do you want to tell the story, or should I Michel?"

"You tell it so much better…" Vaughn said settling into the chair after putting the silver chain around Sydney's neck with success despite his shoulder injury. She leaned back into him to hear the story.

"I was born and raised in France. I moved here shortly before I married Michael's father. My mother was a typical French woman. She was born and raised and lived and died in France," Amélie said chuckling. "My father wasn't a wealthy man, but he was successful. He gave my mother that necklace as an anniversary present, for their fifth wedding anniversary, and it rarely left her neck. She passed it to me when I married William, hoping that I'd have the same love that she shared with my father. I never had a daughter, but I knew one day that Michael would find a woman suitable to be the owner of this…" she smiled.

Vaughn tightened his grip, "I think it's rather fitting too…"

Amélie looked to him, "What is dear?"

"Well, she is an angel, she should have one…"

"Indeed," Amélie said.

The tears that had been threatening to spill gave way then, as Vaughn kissed the top of Sydney's head. He and his mother waited patiently for her to compose herself.

"I should also point out…" Amélie started after Sydney had somewhat composed herself, "that I really didn't realize at the time, but later, after Michael was born, the stones in the angel's halo are the exact color of his eyes…" she smiled.

Sydney turned to look at Vaughn and sure enough, the stones matched his eyes.

"Well…see…there…that makes perfect sense then. If I'm wearing it, he's guarding…" she smiled kissing him.

She got up then and hugged Amélie fiercely.

"Thank you," she said, not having the words to add more.

"You're welcome…and thank you…for saving my son…in more ways than you can imagine," she winked.


	67. Bonding

**Chapter 67: Bonding **

_"Genuine beginnings begin within us, even when they are brought to our attention by external opportunities." – William Bridges _

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstance." – Bruce Barton

"They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; And I deem them mad because they think my days have a price." – Kahlil Gibran

* * *

Sydney left for parts un-yet-known, leaving Vaughn and his mother. They had decided they should move him back inside before Sydney left though, in case of, say, rain. So, the two moved Vaughn to the couch. Sydney took Donovan for a short walk and then left.

Once Sydney was once again in her car, she had a strange feeling. Vaughn was completely fine in his mother's care, but she felt strange about leaving him, just as she had last time.

She started the car and sat in the driveway.

"Well, here I sit," she said out loud, "where should I go?"

She pondered options for a few minutes and then decided on the gym. She took one last glance at the house, put the car in reverse, and pulled out of the driveway.

Vaughn heard the car start and pull out of the driveway. He looked over to his mother who was sitting across from him.

"So what are we gonna do now?" he asked.

She smiled, "What do Sydney and you do when you're out here?"

He replied with a guilty grin.

"That's not what I meant Michael!" she looked at him disapprovingly.

She shook her head, "Well…let's talk then…"

Vaughn looked at her warily, "What do you want to talk about?" he asked guardedly.

"How did you get kidnapped?"

He winced, he'd been waiting for that, knew it was coming, "It was actually pretty silly," he began, "I left for work before Sydney and I went to get coffee…"

Flashback  
Vaughn popped his head into the room, leaning in the doorway, "Syd? I'm gonna stop for coffee before I go in to work. You wanna come or you want me to bring you something?"

Sydney smiled as she moved to the doorway. She reached out her hand and played with the buttons on his light blue oxford shirt.

"No, I'm good…I don't need eight cups before I'm awake," she chided.

He smiled, "Well, maybe if I got more sleep during the nights I spend here, I'd be more rested and then I wouldn't need the eight cups. But until that happens…" he trailed off.

"Don't plan on that happening ANY time soon," she assured him.

She moved her hands to the tips of his collar.

"What tie are you wearing?"

"Why?"

"I wanna tie it…"

He smiled again and moved out of the doorway. He came back with a navy blue tie with a cerulean checkered pattern on it.

"Ooo! Good choice!" She jumped childishly as she grabbed the material and turned his collar up. She could see the tip of his white undershirt as she was getting ready to button the last couple buttons on his shirt.

"You know that drives me insane," she smiled evilly, "You have no idea the affect you have…"

"I do…but all of that because of a shirt and tie?"

"No silly, the shirt and tie are bad enough, but when you have that undershirt peeking out at me on top of that…God if you put on your holster, I'd be a goner!"

He smiled and kissed her forcefully. Just when she was about to rip the shirt off of him, he pushed her away gently and moved out of the doorway. She let out an unsatisfied moan and he chuckled as he heard her from down the hall. He came back a few seconds later with his hands behind his back.

She looked at the childish look on his face, "Whatcha got there?" she asked with an equally innocent tone.

He raised an eyebrow, "What do you think it is?"

She tried to look deep in thought, "Hmm…"

He smiled, "Why don't I give you a hint?"

"Ok" she smiled naively.

He moved out of her line of sight and she was tempted to move to look but she forced herself to keep up the game. She could here some light rustling and then she saw his hand emerge. He moved it slowly, and soon an arm appeared as well. Her slow smile turned into a huge grin when she realized he was going to make her wait until he was good and ready to show her the "surprise."

The other hand shot out into her line of view, followed by the rest of that arm. She was giddy with excitement and after a few more minutes of teasing, she couldn't wait any more.

She grabbed onto his hands and pulled him back into the room. He laughed when he saw the desire in her eyes. What wasn't funny was that his eyes shared the same desire.

"No fair, you cheated…too impatient…"

She could tell though by the matching look in his eyes that he was just as turned on as she was.

"You're wearing your holster…" she stated as her hands moved up to trace the leather now partially covering his shoulders. The tie was still loosely hanging around his upturned collar.  
She smiled and reached out to tie the tie. He smiled his acceptance and lifted his chin so she could have enough room to work.

Once she had finished tying the tie, she turned the collar down again and adjusted the knot so it was in the middle of his shirt. Then she traced the tie down the front of his shirt. Where the tie ended was dangerously close to the top of his pants. He closed his eyes and she smiled; the game was started again, but this time, she was playing.

She traced the top of his pants around the front and then stopped. His eyes opened and he looked down at her. His eyes were hazy and filled with desire for her.

She moved her hands to the sides of the holster and traced the top before working her fingers underneath the straps and pulling on them until his lips met hers. She kissed him passionately, her tongue tracing his bottom lip and his teeth. He moaned into her mouth as his semi-erect penis connected with her center through the fabric of their clothes.

"Sydney," he gasped between kisses.

She continued the kissing for a few more minutes and then pushed him back gently as he had done to her before. He looked at her confused.

"Well…you need coffee and I need to finish getting ready, so I'll see you at work." She smiled letting go of the holster and smoothing his shirt. She leaned up, kissed his cheek, and positively skipped out of the room.

He stood in the doorway, mouth open, in confusion and utter unsatisfaction.

"Aw, come on!" he exclaimed and he heard her laugh from the bathroom. He took a moment to compose himself…and settle down…leaning his head on the door jam. He smiled as he finally felt composed enough to move; she'd won that round. He grabbed his keys and wallet from the table, grabbed his suit jacket from the back of the chair, and went into the bathroom.

She smiled when she saw his reflection in the mirror.

He smiled in answer and she saw and felt him wrap her in his arms from behind. He kissed her neck before saying into her ear, "You'll pay for that later…"

She turned in his embrace, "I hope so…wear that tonight," she said fingering the holster.

"I will," he said, "See you later."

She smiled, they kissed and then he was gone.

Sydney mused, they were getting to be really domestic…she sighed and went back to getting ready, waiting in anticipation of that night.

If she'd only known that would be the last she'd see of Vaughn for almost three weeks, she would have played the game very differently.

Vaughn got in the car in a very cheery mood. Although he and Sydney hadn't been able to consummate their teasing this morning, he smiled evilly when he anticipated the goings-on of the evening ahead. He wished he could wake up that way every morning, although possibly with more of the consummating. Now all he had to do was make it through the day…

When he arrived at the coffee house, he put on his suit jacket, concealing his holster and weapon, and bounced into the establishment.

He ordered, got his coffee and was out the door again in under five minutes. He wasn't particularly attentive to his surroundings; chalk it up to his relationship bliss, but he wasn't in Taipei after all, and there weren't any hostiles that he had to worry about, so he didn't think he was in any danger.

However, it seemed today was going to be the day that coffee turned dangerous. He was rounding the corner of the alleyway alongside the coffee shop where he parked the car when he saw the first man, standing next to his car.

He was about to say something but was blindsided by a second man that seemingly came out of nowhere. Vaughn put up a valiant effort, but the two assailants plus two more that came out of hiding proved too much for him. He was knocked unconscious and shoved into another waiting car shortly after the coffee had landed and spilled all over the ground.

The car sat motionless, partially hidden by the alley, doors unlocked.

Michael Vaughn was missing…but no one knew it yet.

His last though before unconsciousness overtook him was of Sydney. He wished they'd stopped teasing earlier…  
End Flashback


	68. Lunchtime Leisure

**Chapter 68: Lunchtime Leisure **

_"One may not reach the dawn save by the path of night." – Kahlil Gibran _

"We often sing lullabyes to our children that we ourselves may sleep." – Kahlil Gibran

"I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers." – Kahlil Gibran

* * *

Vaughn stopped, looking back over at his mother. 

"You were kidnapped while coming out of a coffee house?"

"Yes…"

"What happened after that?" Amélie pressed.

"Well…I was unconscious, I don't know for how long, but when I woke up, I was tied up in the back of a truck and I had a horrible headache." He smiled slightly, but Amélie wasn't amused at all.

"Did you try to escape?" she asked.

"Of course!" Vaughn said somewhat offended, "What do you take me for? I am a spy after all mom!"

Amélie smiled, "Of course you are…I'm sorry, please continue."

Vaughn went back to the story; "I had no idea where I was, who had taken me – although I had a pretty good guess on that one – or where I was. I tried to get out of the binds they had me in, but I couldn't. The truck must have driven for hours. When it stopped, I tried to overpower the guard, which I did with some success, but his buddy showed up then and that ended my escape. I did walk away with a renewed headache though and several other bruises…"

Vaughn stopped, thinking before he continued again, "After the escape attempt, they kept a much closer eye on me. And they moved me to the compound where I would stay for the rest of my internment. I'm kinda hazy on details from there…I know they took me to the cell…" he stopped shivering slightly.

"Cell?" Amélie gasped.

"Yeah…and I remember meeting Sloane – he wanted to see his latest capture and I saw the rest of the men that would be my…well…they were pretty much my torture detail. Sark and Derevko were there too I think…I'm not sure…"

Amélie moved closer to her son, "What did they do to you Michael?"

He looked away, not meeting her eyes anymore. Before he started talking Amélie noted the distant look in his eyes, and it frightened her to no end.

"They did lots of things," he started looking down. In all honesty, he really didn't want to continue.

"Like what?" Amélie pressed.

"Beatings…burnings…" he glanced in his mother's direction trying to gauge her reaction, but her face was unreadable, "whippings…"

She stopped him after that one, "Whippings!"

He looked at her, "Yeah…"

"Oh my God Michael!" She said moving closer still.

He really didn't know what else to say and he really didn't want to add more either.

"I'm so sorry Michael," his mother said quietly, sensing that he didn't want to continue.

"It's not your fault."

"But I'm still sorry."

"Thank you," he said, meaning it.

Amélie looked at her watch, "Oh! It's time for your medication. Sydney said I should give it to you with lunch. What would you like? I'll make whatever you wish Michael."

He smiled, "Hmm…" he thought, "how about toasted cheese?"

"With tomato soup?" his mother asked smiling.

"Yeah," he said.

She smiled more broadly and moved over to kiss his head, "You're still my little boy Michael…"

He smiled, "I know…I'm just bigger now."

She moved into the kitchen and took out everything she'd need to make Michael's lunch.

She got the soup going and then made him the grilled cheese. She poured a glass of milk and put the pill bottles on the tray where she then placed the rest of his food. She carried it into the living room and pulled him up to a more sitting position.

"Is that comfortable?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's good," he answered.

With a nod she picked up the tray and sat it on his lap.

When he saw the lunch, he smiled, "No crusts?"

She look at him concerned, "Did you want crust?"

"No."

"If you did, I can make another one…"

"No, mom, no crust is great. I just don't think I've had no crust in years. Probably the last time you made me a sandwich."

He picked up the first part of the sandwich, still grinning because the sandwich was cut into fourths – four triangles. He dunked the sandwich in the soup and him mother watched happily as he downed the first quarter of the sandwich.

"I didn't know how many or which pills you were supposed to take, so I brought them all. I hope you know which ones," his mother explained, motioning to the bottles.

Vaughn stopped eating momentarily and looked at the array of pill bottles in front of him on the tray. His brow furrowed as he thought. He looked over to his mother whose eyebrows rose when he looked to her.

"You don't know either?" she asked, somewhat amused.

"Uh…well…Sydney usually just gives me a bunch and then I take them," he replied.

His mother continued to look at him.

"No," he admitted.

She smiled back.

"I think there's a sheet – I can figure it out…I have to take the ibuprofen and the naproxen for inflammation and pain. Usually I think she gives me both. Then I take either the Percocet or the Vicodin but usually not both, unless I have a muscle spasm, then I take, like, everything."

He looked at his mother again and she asked, "So how many pills do you have to take?"

"Uh…two of each of the ibuprofen and naproxen and two of either the Percocet or the Vicodin."

"Ok," Amélie moved over to the tray and opened the ibuprofen bottle, took two out and handed them to Vaughn. He took them and then waited until she opened the naproxen and gave him two of those. Then she stopped.

"Ok, which one?" she held up the last two bottles.

Vaughn looked between the two, "Uh…I don't care, you pick."

He went back to eating while Amélie decided.

She finally handed him two Vicodin and then took all of the pill bottles back into the kitchen.

When she returned, Vaughn was finishing the last quarter of his sandwich. That left the soup, and his brow moved down, obviously in thought.

"Hmm…" he said.

"What?" Amélie asked looking over at him again.

"Well…I'm good eating the sandwich with my right hand, but I'm not so good with utensils."

"Well, of course not," Amélie exclaimed, "you're left handed."

"Yeah…I know…"

"Well, then here…let me help you." Amélie moved over and sat on the couch next to her son.  
She took the bowl of soup, got a spoonful and blew on it, making sure it wasn't too hot. Then she expertly lowered it down to Vaughn's mouth, not spilling a drop.

Vaughn settled into the couch, letting his mother help him.

Once he was finished, she wiped his mouth with a napkin and then took the tray into the kitchen, cleaning up.

When she was done she came back into the living room and sat down in the chair next to Vaughn.

He craned his neck slightly to look at her and said, "Thanks mom, it was great…you're very good at that."

"I've had practice," Amélie said smiling.

"What would you like to do now?" she asked.

"Mmm…don't know…what did you do when I was bored at home?"

Amélie thought a moment and smiled, obviously remembering something fond from Michael's childhood, "Well, honestly Michael, you were never very bored as a child. When you were, you found something to occupy yourself. Let's see…you'd read, or color, or go outside and play, watch a movie, we'd play games sometimes, you'd draw…things like that…"

"Mmm…well…I don't know…whatever you want."

"Should we read?"

"We can, but you'll have to turn the pages…"

She smiled, "Do you want me to read to you?"

Vaughn smiled back, "Yeah, I'd like that."

Amélie got up and went over to the bookshelf, browsing through the books.

She read off a few titles to Vaughn before stopping on one, smiling, and pulling it out gently.

"Well, well…" she said turning to show her son the cover of the book.

He returned the smile as he snuggled into the couch.

Amélie sat down in the chair next to the couch and opened the book.

She started, "_Treasure Island_, by Robert Louis Stevenson. _Part One – The Old Buccaneer. The Old Sea-Dog At the Admiral Benbow. Squire Trelawney, Doctor Livesey, and the rest of these gentlemen having asked me to write down the whole particulars about Treasure Island, from the beginning to the end, keeping nothing back but the bearings of the island, and that only because there is still treasure not yet lifted, I take up my pen in the year of grace 17--, and go back to the time when my father kept the Admiral Benbow Inn, and the brown old seaman, with the saber cut, first took up his lodging under our roof._"

Amélie stopped, looking over at Vaughn as she paused between paragraphs. He was watching intently like it was the first time he ever heard her read this to him.

"Do you remember the first time I read you this book Michael?"

"Of course I do…I was seven…I had pneumonia and you'd spend hours just reading. Then at night when dad got home from work, he'd read to me too…the whole time I was sick…"

Amélie smiled, "You'd fall asleep every time I read…"

Vaughn smiled back.

She asked, "Would you like me to continue?"

He nodded enthusiastically, reminding her of how he acted when he was about seven.

She started again, "_I remember as if it were yesterday, as he came plodding to the inn door, his sea-chest following behind him in a hard-barrow; a tall, strong, heavy, nut-brown man; his tarry pigtail falling over his shoulders of his soiled blue coat; his hands ragged and scarred, with black, broken nails and the saber cut across one cheek, a dirty, livid white. I remember him looking round the cove and whistling to himself as he did so, and the breaking out in that old sea-song that he sung so often afterward_," Amélie paused looking over at Michael.

They said together, "_Fifteen men on the dead man's chest, Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!_"

The both chuckled and then Amélie continued, "_in the high, old tottering voice that seemed to have been turned and broken at the capstan bars. Then he rapped on the door with a bit of stick like a handspike that he carried, and when my father appeared, called roughly for a glass of rum. This, when it was brought to him, he drank slowly, like a connoisseur, lingering on the taste, and still looking about him at that cliffs and up at our signboard._"

Amélie paused again, glancing at Michael, who smiled in return and followed it with a yawn.

Amélie continued, smiling knowingly, "'_This is a hardy cove,' said he, at length; 'and a pleasant sittyated grog-shop. Much company, mate?_'"

Vaughn broke in, "Mom, what's a grog-shop?"

Amélie looked at her son, "You've asked me that every time we've read this book…you know what it is by now Michael."

"I know…but there's no reason to stop asking now…"

She replied, "Well, Michael, a grog-shop is a shop or room where liquor is sold and where you can drink it…usually very hard liquor."

"Oh," he said.

"That's the same response you've given me every time too," Amélie said looking back at the book as she continued, "'_My father told him no, very little company, the more was the pity.' 'Well then,' said he, 'this is the berth for me. Here you, matey,' he cried to the man who trundled the barrow; 'bring up alongside and held up my chest. I'll stay here bit,' he continued, 'I'm a plain man; rum and bacon and eggs is what I want, and that head up there for to watch ships off. What you mought call me? You mought call me captain. Oh, I see what you're at – there;' and he threw down three or four gold pieces on the threshold. 'You can tell me when I've worked through that,' said he, looking as fierce as a commander._'"

Amélie paused again in her reading, glancing over at her son. She smiled sweetly as she gazed upon Michael. He was fast asleep, her little boy, her angel. She moved over quietly, setting the book on the table, and covered him with a light blanket. Then she went back to the chair and began to read again to herself, while keeping a silent vigil over her slumbering son.


	69. Gymboree!

**Chapter 69: Gymboree! **

_"Paradise is there, behind that door, in the next room; but I have lost the key. Perhaps I have only mislaid it." – Kahlil Gibran _

"Our mind is a sponge; our heart is a stream. Is it not strange that most of us choose sucking rather than running?" – Kahlil Gibran

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." – Theodore Roosevelt

* * *

Sydney left the house and drove straight to the gym. She made sure that she had her cell phone with her in case Amélie needed to call. She contemplated calling the house to check on them but refrained; she hadn't called when Eric was there and Amélie could certainly take care of Vaughn better than Eric. She threw the phone into her bag and walked into the gym.

The receptionist greeter her upon her entry and a few staff members exchanged pleasantries with her as well.

She made her way to the locker room and changed from her jeans and tee shirt to a sports tank top and shorts.

Once changed, she made her way out to the workout area. She stretched and warmed up and then ran a mile. After cooling down, she made her way over to the room that contained the punching bags.

When she walked through the door, a man grabbed her from behind. Without thinking, Sydney flipped the man over, sending him across the floor. He ended up laying flat on his back, sprawled out.

Sydney moved into a fighting stance, ready to take on an attack, but the man only groaned. Sydney flew over to where he lay.

"Oh God! Cade! I'm so sorry!"

The man moved slightly, "Jesus Christ! I mean, I knew you were well trained, but my God woman!"

"I know, I'm sorry…I just sort of went into self-defense mode…I'm really sorry…are you ok?"

She offered him a hand, helping him up.

"Yeah, I'm ok. I'm rather proud actually. There aren't many people that could lay me out like that. Of course, you did have the element of surprise."

"I did…really, I'm sorry."

"It's ok…now get over here and give me a proper hello!"

He reached out his arms and Sydney closed the gap between them, giving him a large hug.

After they parted, Cade asked, "So…I haven't seen you here in a while…where ya' been? Find someone else's bag to punch?"

"No, of course not! I love punching your bag. I've just been very busy…with personal stuff…you know…"

"Oh…that hot new boyfriend of yours keeping you busy?" he asked with a wink.

"Oh yeah – more than you know…" she replied.

"Good!"

She smacked him on the arm.

"Ow! First you throw me around, now you're gonna hit me? Why don'tcha just use ME as the bag!"

"Because you'd enjoy it too much!"

"Yeah…that's true," Cade said smiling, "anyway, 'nuf small talk, let's dance!"

He bounded over to a vacant bag as Sydney chuckled, but followed after him. He handed Sydney the tape and helped her with taping up her hands. Then he helped her into the gloves.

"Ok," he started when she was all set, "let's punch out your problems."

Sydney smiled at his common phrase, but then turned serious as she listened to Cade bark out instructions on what and where to hit the bag. He held onto it, keeping it stable as she punched and kicked.

Once he knew she had a good rhythm going, he shut up, letting her work on whatever she needed to.

He let her go on for quite awhile, just patiently holding the bag as it received a beating from Sydney.

Sydney tried not to think as she started hitting the bag, but she found that the more she tried not to think, the more she thought about. She thought about Vaughn, hurt, at home, looking at still another three months of recovery. She thought about Vaughn's mother, subjected to the horror of almost losing her son and not really knowing it. She thought about Francie and Will and how much their lives had changed as a result of knowing her. She thought about her mother, her ever-perplexing mother, and what she had planned, why she helped Vaughn. She thought about work, about the house, about Weiss, about her father. Hell, she even thought about Donovan. Her thoughts turned to Vaughn again, and her punches became slightly softer, pulled back. He was such a wonderful man, tortured for no good reason, brought to the brink of death and subjected to more pain and fear than anyone should ever have to endure. She thought of him helpless and alone on that cement floor, beaten and burned and taunted; her punches were no longer being pulled.

Cade struggled to hang onto the bag as Sydney's punches changed.

She thought about the men that had beaten Vaughn, had burned him. She thought of Sark, the errand boy, the rat who did Sloane's bidding…….Sloane……the name alone brought a wave of nausea to her, bile rising every time she was forced to think of his face. Sloane…the man responsible for Vaughn's torment, responsible for taking the man she loved away from her, responsible for making him afraid, making him desperate. She threw punch after punch, imagining it was his ugly face that she was hitting. Her arms were like a whirlwind; passers-by would have scarcely seen her arms moving anymore; it was like a hailstorm of tracks in the air.

Cade sensed another change as Sydney's punches and kicks became frantically violent and aimless. Finally after she'd been punching for about a half hour, he stopped her, "Ok Syd…that's good…let's take…Uhn!…Jesus! Let's take a break…"

She continued hitting until he yelled, "Sydney!" a few more times.

She stopped, looking at him strangely.

"What?" she asked.

"I thought I better stop you before you punched a hole in the bag. Other people like to use them you know."

She smiled out of breath, mild embarrassment on her face, "Sorry…I guess I got a little carried away."

"Hmm…I see that…anything you wanna talk about?" he asked, moving over to help her out of the gloves and tape.

"Mmm…no, it's ok…I'm good. I think I worked out a fair amount of frustration, thanks…"

"Sure, anytime…"

He watched as she waved and started to walk away.

He jogged after her to catch up, "Syd!"

She turned, "Yeah?"

"You said you had a lot of personal stuff going on – it's not that boyfriend is it? Is he giving you trouble or something – cause I'd be glad to–"

"No, Cade, nothing like that…It's not him," she smiled reaching a hand out to touch his cheek, "but thanks…that was really sweet."

"Sure," he said returning the smile, "so it's not anything I can help with?" he said one more time, just making sure.

"No, really though, you've helped a lot."

"Good," he said, obviously relieved, "you should take a swim – it'll relax you, before your shower."

She smiled again, "Thanks Cade, I think I will," she hugged him, "Excuse the sweat…"

"Any day sweetie, any day."

He watched her go; waving as she gave him one more glance and then turned around and put the gloves in the pile to clean.

He threw the tape away and went over to the door to wait for his next client.


	70. Alone With Thoughts

**Chapter 70: Alone With Thoughts **

_"The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher." – Thomas Henry Huxley _

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world." – Buddha

"Thinking: The talking of the soul with itself." – Plato

* * *

Sydney made her way to the pool, deciding just to stay in her workout clothes. She smiled as she thought of Cade; such a nice guy.

He's been there at the gym since the first time she'd walked through the door, and he'd been her first friend at the gym too. He'd shown her around and helped her design a workout regiment for her to follow. That was of course his job, but Cade always had a knack for helping her with personal problems too. Over time, he'd been a trainer and a friend, and he never asked for anything in return. She always smiled when she thought of Cade; he wasn't what anyone would think of by looks alone as a personal trainer. He wasn't large by any means, 5'9" at best and from outward appearances, he seemed small and unmuscular. But he was strong and well built and his strength was speed. He was fast; and Sydney had seen him down men twice his size, knocking them on their asses in seconds. He was about 30, with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes and Sydney had always thought he was "cute." He wasn't hugely handsome, but attractive in a cute way, and his personality added so much.

Sydney thought at first he was so nice because he'd had a crush on her, but he'd been happily married for several years and she soon found out that he was just that nice.

Her last thought before plunging into the cool, refreshing water was Cade and what a great person he was.

Sydney was on about lap six when other thoughts began creeping in. She thought about her behavior earlier with the punching bag; even Cade had noticed the change – so much so that he'd made her stop punching.

She hadn't realized how angry Vaughn's whole ordeal made her. She'd rarely thought about it when she was alone with Vaughn, because most of the time she was completely focused on his care…and needs, she thought devilishly. She'd been angry when she first found out it was Sloane who did it, but once again, her energy had been focused on locating Vaughn and not with Sloane himself.

Vaughn never seemed to be angry…was something wrong with her? Was it bad to harbor that much hatred for that man? Were her actions earlier warranted? Was Vaughn just really good at hiding his anger?

The more she thought, the more distressed he became. She finished lap 20 and got out, walking back to the locker rooms and showers.

She entered and undressed and spent a long time in the shower, getting rid of all the sweat and tension and trying to ease the muscles that had been worked during her routine. She also wanted to wash away the thoughts that kept creeping into her mind. She let the warm water run over her head, trying to think of something else.

She got out, dressed again, running the comb through her hair and glanced at the clock on the wall as she passed by the receptionist on her way out.

It was about 1:30…

She got in the car and started it and took a deep breath. Mmm…she thought…smells like Vaughn…

She was just about to back out when she said out loud, "Oh shit! Vaughn!"

She had herself worked into quiet a frenzy until she remembered that Vaughn was at home, surely safe and sound with his mother. She had the phone in her hand, poised to call, but put it down.

They both had to be able to be apart.

She took a few minutes to relax, trying to occupy her mind with thoughts of eating lunch and what she should do for the rest of the afternoon.

She pulled out, and started on her way. It was far too late to call anyone like Will or Francie to meet them for lunch; they'd surely had lunch hours ago. 'I could always go to Francie's restaurant,' she thought, but then decided against that.

She drove past a few fast food restaurants as well, but she'd just exercised, fast food – not a good choice.

She finally drove up to the new bagel shop that just moved in a couple miles from the gym. She'd give that a try, she thought.

She was pleasantly surprised, it was a wonderful establishment and she enjoyed a nice lunch.

After lunch she was once again faced with the question of what to do next. She felt guilty again – she'd just had a nice workout and lunch, and Vaughn was at home. While she was free to go wherever she wished, he had to stay. While the level of freedom was certainly pleasurably liberating, she wished he could be liberated with her.

She tried to push those thought out of her already overloaded mind as she got back in the car and started to drive again.

She drove around aimlessly for awhile and then pulled into the mall parking lot. She went into a few shops, browsing, but didn't find anything. She wasn't really whole-heartedly shopping though either.

She passed the coffee outlet on the corner of one of the wings of the mall and smiled, remembering the many enjoyable cups of coffee she and Vaughn had shared there.

Once again, she was moved with guilt, thinking of him at home, on the couch. It would be at least weeks before he could join her.

She passed the shop and continued down the next wing, going in to the book store, but only found more things that reminded her of Vaughn – the tour guide to France, hockey's best tips, the woman's guide to relationships…

She sighed and walked back out, almost passing a men's clothing store, as it too reminded her of Vaughn. Something in the store window stopped her though. The mannequin was wearing a short sleeve, teal green button up shirt with a while tee shirt underneath, and light blue jeans. 'That would look positively yummy on Vaughn,' she thought and went into the store rather happily.

'Maybe if I focus on all the things we'll do later, I won't feel so guilty,' she thought, 'or I could just spend a huge amount of money on him and then make that compensation,' she smiled.

The store clerk was only so happy to help her once she knew Sydney was purchasing the clothes for her boyfriend who was laid up at home. By the time Sydney left the store with several bags, she wasn't sure which one of them was dating Vaughn, her or the store clerk. She felt extremely lighter as she walked down the hall after that shop.

She made one more stop in another shop before leaving, smiling as she walked out with a smaller pink bag. 'That's for Vaughn too,' she thought naughtily.

She walked out with her purchases, put them in the car and then got in and started off again.

She'd been to the gym and the mall, now where? She needed to stop at the grocery store, but that would have to be her last stop before going home so the cold things stayed that way.

She still had a few hours to kill and before she knew it, the car was idling in front of the CIA headquarters. She pulled into the underground parking and passed the guards and security clearances.

Once inside the Operations Center, she smiled, nothing had changed – people were milling about, working on projects and assignments as usual.

She spotted her father talking to another agent and when he saw her, he looked both happy and concerned all at the same time. He rushed right over to her, leaving the other agent confused looking after him.

"Sydney?" he asked, "Is everything alright? Did you need something? Who's with Vaughn? Is he in trouble?"

She smiled at the string of questions, letting him finish, "I'm fine…Vaughn's fine… Amélie is with him, she pretty much kicked me out…I really went everywhere else I could think of, so I came her to see what's been going on."

"Oh…of course," Jack said, smiling relieved.

"Have their been any leads?"

"To Sloane?"

"Yes."

"Not of late – he seems to be lying low."

"What are we doing to find him?"

Kendall chose that moment to make his presence known, "Agent Bristow…what brings you here?"

Sydney tried to suppress the anger that was threatening to rise over his tone of voice, "I just stopped by to see what's been going on…see if there were any leads or anything."

"Aren't you on a leave of absence?"

Sydney looked at him directly, "I was unaware that agents on leave weren't welcome in the Ops Center."

Kendall tried to decide how he was going to handle a response to that, but Jack stepped in and spoke up first, "Sydney, I have that work we discussed, it's just in my office, if you'd like to accompany me and get it."

Sydney was about to say something more to Kendall but Jack grabbed her elbow and led her away.

"It may not be wise to speak to the Assistant Director that way Sydney. He was the one who allowed the leave of absence in the first place."

"You said you took care of that yourself," Sydney said astonished.

"I did, but Kendall had to sign off on it."

Sydney didn't know what to say, "I'm sorry, I'll go apologize…it's been a strange day…"

"No, there's no need, I'll explain it to him," he turned towards his desk, "I do have the work if you want it."

"Yeah, sure," Sydney said taking the pile of files he was handing to her.

"It's not the most interesting work, but it'll keep you busy – lots of research and analysis, but I'm sure Vaughn can help too. It'll help make the time go by at least."

"Thanks dad," she said.

"Will can go over what needs to be done with the files."

"Will?" Sydney asked.

"Yes, he came up with the project."

Sydney smiled, "I'll have to go ask him…"

"Of course, I'll be out with Agent Anderson if you need me…"

"Ok, dad…" she smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek as she exited his office. He followed a minute later, picking up with Agent Anderson where he left off.


	71. Will’s Wild World of Wherefore

**Chapter 71: Will's Wild World of Wherefore? **

_"I keep the subject of my inquiry constantly before me, and wait till the first dawning opens gradually, by little and little, into a full and clear light." – Isaac Newton _

"Weary the path that does not challenge. Doubt is an incentive to truth and patient inquiry leadeth the way." – Hosea Ballou

"Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing." – Wernher von Braun

"Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind." – Marston Bates

* * *

Sydney left her father's office and went straight to Will's desk. Or she would have, had she not run in to Marshall on the way over.

"Syd!" Marshall said happily.

Sydney smiled, "Hey Marshall, how's it going?"

"It's going well…well…as well as can be expected…we all miss you."

"That's nice of you to say Marshall."

"And Vaughn! We miss Vaughn too! Don't want you to think we don't miss him too…"

"I'll tell him Marshall."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I had a few hours to kill, so I thought I'd check in and see what was going on."

"Oh…that's funny you should say that, I was wondering what you'd be doing…I mean…I could guess of course…but…well…anyway…I should go…"

"No, it's ok…speaking of which, how are things going with you and Carrie?"

Marshall blushed instantly, looking down at the floor, "Uh…well…it's fine…I mean…it's…uh…I have a project…"

Sydney smiled, "Ok Marshall, it was nice to see you…good luck…"

"Thanks, you too Syd…nice of you to drop by…I've got to go," he said abruptly leaving the conversation.

She smiled as she watched him go, thinking of how sweet he and Carrie were.

She continued on her way until she reached Will's desk. He had his back to her, and he was bent over the screen, studying something intently.

"Hey," she said.

He jumped, "Oh God! HEY!" he said getting up and giving her a hug, "What are you doing here?" His face turned to concern, "Is Vaughn ok?"

"Yeah," she said smiling at his worried glances, "His mom is with him…"

"Cool…so you can come out and play, huh?"

"Yeah – something like that…actually I just stopped by to see what's been going on, but my dad gave me these files, he said you were the go-to guy."

Will blushed, smirking, "Yeah…I guess you could say that…"

Sydney smiled back, "I'm proud of you…"

"Thanks," he said, his smirk turning into a full blown smile.

"So…what do I need to do with these?"

Will grabbed the files and motioned for her to sit down in a chair next to his desk. He opened the top file folder, "Basically, you'll be gathering information on all the people in these files. This is all the intel that records has about them. You're job is to compile the data and then try to find any links. I've got it worked out so you can log on to the computer system at home. Once you're ready to start, one of the IT guys will come over and set it up."

"Vaughn's got a lab top too…"

"Great, then he can help too…"

"Yeah, I think it'll be good for him."

"I would think so…"

Sydney smiled, "That it?"

"Yeah, pretty much, once these are complied, they'll be a new stack."

"What is this all for? Why are we compiling this?"

Will smiled, "Well…it's kinda under the table. Kendall thinks were just updating records, but I've selected these people because their known associates of Sloane and the Alliance. So…you're really doing work to figure out where he is and what he's been up to."

Sydney smiled, "You're great Will!" She reached out and hugged him.

He eagerly hugged her back, "Well, I wanted to help and I didn't really know how to do it…plus, I'm still trying to make up for the whole Dr. Tom incident."

"Stop worrying about it…it's already forgiven Will."

"I know…I just wanted to do something…"

"Well…thanks…for both of us…"

"You bet."

"Well, I'm gonna go…I'll see you later at home?"

"Yup…"

"Ok," with that, Sydney got up and started to walk down the corridor that would lead to her car.

She passed her father, saying goodbye and said goodbye to Kendall as well, who smiled his understanding as she passed.

She rounded the corner that would lead to the elevator, pressed the button to go down and waited. She opened the top file, perusing some of the information when the bell dinged for the elevator doors to open.

They parted and Sydney stepped inside, oblivious to her surroundings.

The doors closed and Sydney reached out to push the button for the parking garage.

She reached out to press the button when she heard, "Hello Sydney…"

She jumped turning around instantly.

"Jesus! You scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry…"


	72. Elevator Chatter

**Chapter 72: Elevator Chatter **

_"Said a philosopher to a street sweeper, 'I pity you. Yours is a hard and dirty task.' And the street sweeper said, 'Thank you, sir. But tell me what is your task?' And the philosopher answered saying, 'I study man's mind, his deeds and his desires.' Then the street sweeper went on with his sweeping and said with a smile, 'I pity you too.'" – Kahlil Gibran _

"The mainspring of creativity appears to be the same tendency which we discover so deeply as the curative force in psychotherapy, man's tendency to actualize himself, to become his potentialities. By this I mean the organic and human life, the urge to expand, extend, develop, mature - the tendency to express and activate all the capacities of the organism, or the self." – Carl Rogers

* * *

"That's ok…I wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing," Sydney said, closing the file folder. 

"How is everything going?"

"It's going well actually…we have bumps in the road of course, but…overall, I think it's going quite well."

"I thought it would…and you? How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Sydney said quickly.

Dr. Barnett smiled knowingly, "Hmm…"

"What?" Sydney asked.

"Do you have a few minutes?"

"Uh…well…"

"I would really like to figure out a time when it would be suitable for me to see Agent Vaughn."

"Oh, yeah…sure…I've got a few minutes for that."

They waited in silence for the elevator to reach Dr. Barnett's floor and then they got out of the elevator. Sydney followed her to her office.

Sydney sat down in the chair across from Dr. Barnett's desk as she got out her appointment book to write down the time.

"So…what day would work best for you?" she asked looking over to Sydney.

"Well…any day really…we're always home, so any day would work…"

"How about sometime later this week…how does Friday sound?"

Sydney thought a moment about a date that near, it was Wednesday already, "Well…yeah…I guess that would work…does it have to be this week?"

Dr. Barnett looked over at her, "Well, no…is there something I should know about?"

Sydney tried to chose her words carefully, "No, it's just this has been a hard week for Vaughn."

"Why?"

"Well…it started off good, but it went down hill from there…he had a small set back, overdid it…got sick…"

"Oh…"

"It wasn't anything terribly bad…" Sydney said backpedaling.

"What happened exactly?"

Sydney sighed, "Well…he overdid it one day and that night he got a fever. He was pretty delirious for that night. He had a nightmare…and actually he fell out of the bed…"

Dr. Barnett raised her eyebrows, "I see…so it was physically taxing on him then?"

Sydney smiled; she knew what Barnett was trying to get her to say, "Look, he had a bad night and a subsequent bad morning. We made a mistake, and yes, it was physically taxing on him, but it was emotionally as well."

"I thought as much."

"So, what…is one mistake really that important to you?"

"One mistake can make all the difference Sydney, especially with someone in such a delicate state."

"What do you mean delicate state?"

"He's physically and emotionally injured Sydney…you of all people should know what emotional torment can do to a person."

"Vaughn is fine…" Sydney said, but even she didn't think she sounded very convincing.

"I'm sure he is…I don't mean to scare you…he's not on the verge of a breakdown or anything, is he?"

There was a pause, "No," Sydney said.

Barnett raised her head further, waiting for Sydney to continue.

She looked away, out the window, "I might as well just tell you what happened then…"

Barnett nodded.

"As I said, he overdid it, got a fever, had a nightmare and then fell out of bed. In the morning, he didn't really remember anything…I was scared, I thought of calling the doctor, but it wasn't because I couldn't handle it or anything. I just got scared…but I didn't handle it well at all, and Vaughn knew something was wrong. Since he didn't remember anything, it didn't help matters. I gave him a bath, and he knew I was holding something back, so I went out in the hall to compose myself enough to go back in there and tell him. In the meantime, my friend Will went in there and said he'd talk to Vaughn. Well…we didn't communicate well at all, and Vaughn was pretty much convinced that I was calling the doctor and he was going back to the hospital…" she stopped, talking a deep breath, "he basically had kind of a breakdown in the bathtub. He was totally terrified of going back, but he didn't want to hurt me or anything, so he was totally gonna do it. Once I had him calmed down, he had himself so worked up that he started vomiting and Will was worried, so he called the doctor. I just had Vaughn calmed down when the doctor walked in the door and we basically went through it all again…"

Sydney stopped, waiting for a reply from Barnett, but she just looked at her pensively from across the desk.

"Vaughn and I are totally ok though…and the doctor was ok to leave him there…he didn't like make him go back or anything…"

Dr. Barnett said nothing as she studied Sydney from across the plane of the mahogany desk.

Finally, Sydney couldn't take anymore, "Could you say something? Because I was just totally honest there, and now I'm starting to think that maybe I shouldn't have been…because I did it so that Vaughn could stay, not vice versa."

Barnett smiled, "I have no intention of pulling him out of your house Sydney."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"I do want to start seeing him though…the nightmares are probable and understandable, but he needs to start working through this…"

"He talks to me…"

"I know that, and that's wonderful, but you are not a trained professional, and he needs that too…I'm not undermining your role, Sydney, I don't think Vaughn would have come this far without you…but he still needs to have professional help."

Sydney nodded.

"Now…how are you handling all of this?"

"I'm fine…I'm not the one who was tortured…"

"No, but you get to live it through him…so…let's try again…how are you handling all of this?"

Sydney sighed, "I don't know…I think I'm handling it fine. I don't have nightmares or anything. I don't think about it a lot. I'm usually focused on Vaughn, so I don't think it affects me in the same way."

"Well, no I'm sure it doesn't, but I'm sure it affects you in some way."

"Of course…"

"How so?"

Sydney sighed again, "Um…it bothers me to see him like this. He's always been my rock, you know? And I'm glad that I can be that for him too, and it's not that he's not for me anymore…it's just a different time now."

"Mmm hmm…"

"When I sit and really think about it, it makes me furious."

"What does?"

"That he was tortured…that they did it to him…that he did it to Vaughn."

"Sloane?"

Sydney winced at the name; it was like acid to her ears, "Yes," she said through clenched teeth.

"I was at the gym today, and I almost broke the punching bag imaging that it was him instead of the bag."

"You were that angry?"

"Yes."

"Have you had an outlet for the anger before today?"

Sydney thought a moment, "Well…no, I guess not."

"Then I think that's more than understandable. You're not going around hitting pillows every chance you get are you?"

"No, of course not."

Barnett smiled, "Then I think it's completely normal…you've been so focused on Vaughn, you really didn't deal with your own feelings on the subject until today."

"Yeah…I guess so…" Sydney paused, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"I was thinking about this before at the gym. If I've been concealing my anger, couldn't Vaughn be doing the same thing?"

"Yes…in fact, I'm sure he is…he's had a lot to deal with…I don't think anger has really come up yet."

Sydney nodded, "I should warn you…he's probably not going to be real talkative…I don't think he's really told anyone anything besides me. I know pretty much everything…well…no one will ever know everything, but…"

"We'll see how it goes Sydney, don't worry, I'll be careful with him."

Sydney smiled, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Well…I should really get going…"

"Vaughn isn't alone is he?"

"Oh no…no…of course not, I wouldn't leave him alone…he's with his mother…"

"Oh, that's nice…she came to visit…"

"Well…actually no one really bothered to tell her that Vaughn had been injured, so she was quite worried. She came down to see him yesterday, and stayed the night."

"I'm sure that was nice for him to see her…"

"Yeah, I think it was…"

"Well, then, Friday, shall we say about 2:00?"

"Sure…that's fine…"

"I'll call early Friday just to confirm, ok?"

"That sounds good," Sydney said getting up, "I'm sorry if I had an attitude earlier…I kind of go into protective mode now whenever it's about Vaughn."

"I understand," Dr. Barnett said, smiling, "I wouldn't want it any other way…I'm glad he has you to fall back on."

"Me too," Sydney said, "I'll see you on Friday then…"

"Yes…see you then."

Sydney walked out and shut the door, leaning on the wall for support for a moment before leaving the hallway. For a minute there, she thought it was all over, that she'd blew it and Vaughn would be in the hospital again, but she was glad everything seemed to work out. Now all she had to do was explain it to Vaughn.

She sighed, shifting the folders, and trudging back to the elevator. She pushed the down button and this time, made sure she could see any occupants in the elevator. There weren't any this time and she was thankful for that. She leaned against the back railing, waiting for the elevator to reach the parking garage.

She got out of the elevator, walked to the car, placed the folders on the seat and backed out. Only one more stop before home; the grocery store.


	73. Supermarket Sweep

**Chapter 73: Supermarket Sweep **

_"A house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body." – Margaret Fuller _

"If it was not for guests all houses would be graves." – Kahlil Gibran

* * *

Sydney pulled into the grocery store parking lot and ran in, in a hurry. After spending over half a day away from Vaughn, she very much wanted nothing better than to go home and see him. She pulled a cart hurriedly out of the cart stalls and went through the automatic doors.

She made mental notes to herself of things she needed to pick up and made her first stop at the produce section.

She picked out various items and them moved on to the other sections and aisles of the store.

She made sure to get milk and a couple different kinds of juices, and picked out stuff that would be easy for Vaughn to eat without utensils. When she got to the check out, she realized she'd gone a little overboard, but she missed him all day and wanted to be able to be even EXTRA nice to him when she got home. Plus, she had to break it to him that Dr. Barnett was coming over, so she'd better have some good news.

The kid in the check out line looked at her rather strangely, but he couldn't have been more than 16, so Sydney didn't really pay any attention.

Finally, it seemed the kid couldn't hold back any longer, "You got a lot of kids lady?" he asked.

She turned to the boy, "No, why you wanna come over and eat at my house?"

The boy turned instantly red, but Sydney smiled, making sure that he knew she wasn't being mean.

Once through the check out line, she maneuvered her cart to the car, loaded it up with even more bags and went on her merry way home.

She admittedly sped all the way home, hoping that no cops were tailing her or were hiding from view around corners.

She looked at her watch when she pulled into the driveway; it was 5:27. She hoped that Amélie hadn't made dinner yet.

She walked up the path, carrying several bags and rather ceremoniously opened the door. She could hear voices just inside and called out a "Help!" to get someone over to the door.

Will's head appeared around the side of one of the bags and he lifted them out of her arms.

"Thank you!" she said, relieved to be rid of the bags.

"Are there more in the car?" he asked.

"Yeah, anything not in a grocery bag can go in my room," she smiled broadly, "If you don't mind…"

He smiled, "No…I'm a guy…I'm here to do the heavy lifting…"

She laughed and moved past him, walking into the house. She said hello to Francie and Amélie and she spotted Vaughn on the couch, looking rather comfortable, but he smiled just as widely back at her when he saw her.

She bounded over like she hadn't seen him in weeks and kissed him like they hadn't kissed in that long either, although it had only been hours.

"Mmm…I missed you," she said, nuzzling his nose as she arranged herself next to him on the couch.

"I missed you too…" he said.

Will came in with armloads of bags, "Jesus Syd! What'd you do, buy the whole store?"

Sydney smiled as Vaughn raised an eyebrow at her, "Later," she said and he nodded.

Will had to make one more trip out to the car to get all the bags in the house.

Amélie was seated across from the couple, "So, what did you do today Sydney?"

"Well…" she started, "I went to the gym and then I went to the mall and then I went to work for awhile, and then I went to the grocery store…then I came home…"

"You went to work?" Vaughn asked.

"Yeah, I stopped in because I couldn't come up with anywhere else to go…just to check in, see what was going on."

"Oh," Vaughn said.

She was going to say something else, to ask him why he thought that was strange, but she didn't get the chance because Will popped back in the living room.

"Well, now that I'm done being the carrier mule…did you tell Vaughn about the project?"

Sydney smiled, "You just willingly called yourself an ass, and no, I didn't, but I'll have to tell him now, won't I?" She shook her head, "So much for the surprise…"

"Oh…I'm sorry…" he said genuinely.

"Nah, I'm just messing with ya' Duckie…"

Will dropped his head, "Man…you are so mean…"

They laughed as he walked off again, back into the kitchen.

Sydney was just about to start telling Vaughn about work when Francie's voice yelled from the kitchen, "Sydney, be nice to Will…he says you're being mean…"

Sydney laughed, "Tell Duckie I'm sorry…"

Francie laughed and that was the end of Will's complaining.

Sydney started, "I went to work to check stuff out, and my dad and I had been talking about bringing work home for the last few days…and he had it in his office, so I brought it home…"

"Ok."

"It was actually Will's idea – we can work on stuff here…if you want to, if you feel up to it…" Sydney added.

Vaughn smiled, "What would we be doing?"

"A lot of it is research and analysis…" she left off, trying to get him to understand they shouldn't talk about it anymore now.

"Cool," he said smiling.

She smiled in response and kissed him again, "I really missed you…"

"Me too…"

Amélie cleared her throat.

"But mom took real good care of me…and we had lots of fun…" he said smiling over at his mother.

She smiled back, "Thank you!"

Sydney laughed, "So what did you two do while I was away?"

"We read…and mom made me grilled cheese and tomato soup…" he grinned.

Sydney thought he looked adorable, "Well, you must have been a good little boy then."

"Yes, he was good," Amélie said, "He ate all his lunch and he took his medicine like a good boy…and he fell asleep like he usually did when I read to him."

Sydney smiled, "You did?"

"Uh huh…" he said, nine year old shining through.

"That's sweet…you're so adorable," she said leaning down and nuzzling his nose. Then she backed away and ruffled his hair.

"Ok…let's pretend I'm not a little boy anymore, ok?" he said.

Both Sydney and Amélie laughed at the distress on his face.

"No honey, you're all man…" she said winking.

Amélie shook her head, "Ok…I'm going into the kitchen…I didn't need to hear that…"

This time it was Sydney and Vaughn who laughed as his mother walked out.

Once alone, Sydney smiled and gave him a proper kiss to show him how much she'd missed him.

"Wow…I guess you really did miss me…"

"Yup…"

"So you gonna tell me what's in all those bags?"

"Well…I'll tell you about my time at the mall…"

"What about work?"

"Yeah…I'll get to that."

"Ok."

"Anyway, I went to the mall after the gym, and well…I missed you…and I was in a really strange mood."

"Why?"

"I guess a lot of frustration got let out at the gym…and then I was just thinking way too much."

"About?"

"About you…about what happened, about how much I hate he-who-will-not-be-named."

Vaughn smiled, "You feeling guilty again?"

Sydney looked embarrassed, "Yeah…I just hate that I go out and you stay here…I mean you move from the couch to the bed…and from the bed to the couch…and once in awhile you get to go to a lawn chair or the bathroom…I mean…I just want you to be able to go with me…I feel bad that I can go and you can't."

"We've been over this…"

"Well that doesn't change the way I feel."

"You don't need to feel guilty."

"Well, at any rate, I did…and I was getting really depressed–"

Vaughn cut her off, "Aw…Syd…I…I'm sorry…you shouldn't have to feel that way…"

"No – let me finish…I was really depressed because I saw all the places you and I went before this happened, the coffee shop and the book store…everything reminded me of you…and I was pretty much going to leave, but I passed this men's clothing store, and I saw this shirt that I thought would look just yummy on you," she stopped when she saw him smile, and then continued, "so I went in and the clerk decided it was her personal mission to assist me, so we pretty much picked out a whole bunch of clothes for you…"

"You bought me clothes?"

"Yeah…well…I mean, you don't have that many here…and…well…it made me feel better…"

"Buying me clothes made you feel better?"

"I think it was more the idea that I was buying it because I love you…and I missed you…and I was thinking about you…and that made me happy…"

He smiled.

"And then of course I bought something for myself, and then I was really happy…"

He laughed.

"But that's for you too," she said raising her eyebrows.

"Oh it is?"

"Yup…but that'll have to wait until later…you can look at the clothes then too and see if I'm way off on anything."

"I'm sure you're not…"

"Well, you should still check…oh…" Sydney thought suddenly, really wishing she didn't have to reveal the next part, "about work…"

"Yeah?"

"Well…I got the work from my dad, which you can totally help with too…"

"That'll be good…at least I can feel somewhat useful…"

She smacked him lightly on the arm, "Hey – I find you VERY useful…"

He smiled, "And?"

"Well…that's the good part…there's a bad part too…well not BAD…but…well…you aren't gonna like it."

"What?" he asked, looking at her intently.

"I sort of ran into Dr. Barnett…"

"Oh," Vaughn said, not really looking surprised, but his reaction was hard to read.

"She's coming over on Friday to see you…"

"Why?"

"She just wants to check in…make sure you're doing ok…"

"Is that all?" he asked sensing more.

She sighed, "Well…she pried the whole incident from a few days ago out of me…"

He groaned, shifting uncomfortably already.

"Hey, listen…she's not taking you away from me either ok? She just wants to talk to you about some stuff…you know…maybe it'll help…" Sydney offered.

Vaughn looked unconvinced, "why can't I just talk to you?"

She smiled, "I tried that one too…but what she said Vaughn, it was true…she said that I'm not a trained professional, and I'm not…I can listen and I can try to make you feel better, but let's face it…sexual healing is not going to solve all of your problems…she'd not interested in the physical injuries, she concerned about your emotional ones…the psychological ones…"

"I know that…"

"Well…"

"You do a good job Sydney…I don't feel like I need to talk to someone else," he stated.

She smiled gently, "Look," she made sure her voice sounded soothing, "I love you…and I want to help you…and I love talking to you…and I couldn't be happier that you tell me everything. And I don't want it to stop. I can handle whatever you tell me…but for your own sake, and if you ever want to go back to work, you're going to have to talk to her. It's not going to be easy, I know…but will you at least try? If not for yourself, than for me?" she asked hopefully.

He just looked her in the eyes for a few moments and for a fleeting second, she thought that maybe he wouldn't agree.

He lowered his head and averted his gaze and she thought for sure that she'd lost him.

He said quietly, "Ok…I'll do it…"

She smiled and kissed him, "I know you're gonna worry about it now, but really, she's pretty easy to talk to…and she promised to be gentle."

He turned to her again, a questioning look in his eyes.

"I made her promise…" she admitted, "and I think she got my drift that if she hurt you in any way, I'd kick her ass."

Vaughn laughed, "That's my girl…"

"You bet it is," she said, joining in his laughter and kissing him gently.

"So how fast can we make everyone go away so I can be alone with you and get my presents?"

"Patience little Michael," she said smiling and kissing him slowly.

His eye brow raised, "I love it when you call me Michael…"

"I know," she said.

They could hear the rest of the group coming nearer and Vaughn pulled her closer for a minute, "I really missed you too…my mom being here was nice…lunch and reading were nice…but you're much better at keeping me occupied."

She smiled, "Soon…"

Francie, Will and Amélie trailed in with plates of food and drink. The dinner hour was a relaxed atmosphere, what Sydney thought was the perfect fit for Vaughn. He seemed settled and genuinely happy despite all the things she knew wore on his mind.

She enjoyed watching him interact with his mother and their friends, and both Sydney and Vaughn enjoyed Francie and Will getting to know his mother better.

After dinner and clean up, Amélie announced that she would be going home that night.

Everyone protested, saying that staying another night would be nice and it would be easier to leave in the morning, but she insisted that she would be fine. She also added a comment about nights in the noisy household, which made Vaughn and Sydney blush immensely and left Will and Francie slightly confused. Thankfully for Vaughn and Sydney's sake, they didn't press the issue.

Amélie excused herself to go pack up her things and Sydney followed after her a few minutes later.

"Amélie?" she asked, poking her head into the room.

"Yes dear?" Amélie said turning to face Sydney.

"I wanted to thank you for coming to see Michael and for staying with him today…letting me have a break."

"It was my pleasure Sydney. I really enjoyed spending the whole day with him. I've missed him…"

"I'm sure you have," Sydney said sweetly. She then added, "Well…feel free to stop by again whenever you want…I'm sure Michael would love to see you more often now that he can."

"Oh…we'll see about that…he might get tired of me!" she said chuckling.

"Well, I certainly enjoyed having you here…and I'm really glad I finally got to meet you…"

"Me too Sydney."

They shared a hug and then they moved out to the living room together.

Amélie said her goodbyes to Will and Francie and then moved over to the couch, sitting down next to her son.

"Well Michael…I certainly hope you'll pick up the phone now once in a while to tell me what's going on? Keep me updated?"

"I will mom…"

"Good…I'll come by sometime next week to check up on you, ok?"

"That'd be great…" he said smiling.

"Ok…you take care now…be good," she said, kissing his forehead and giving him a gentle hug. "I love you Michael."

"I love you too mom."

She got up from the couch and hugged Sydney one last time, "You take good care of him now."

"I will," Sydney said.

"I know," Amélie replied. She kneeled down by Donovan before leaving, scratching his ears as his tail wagged happily. She had spent some time with him while Michael was sleeping. He bounded to the door with her and she turned, waving and closing the door behind her as she went. Donovan stared at the door for a minute and then moved back to the hall, finding his bed.


	74. The Lost Chapter 69 – Teehee

**Chapter 74: The Lost Chapter (69 – Teehee) **

_"The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you, but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say." – Kahlil Gibran _

_"When a man's hand touches the hand of a woman they both touch the heart of eternity." – Kahlil Gibran_

_"Lover's embrace that which is between them rather than each other." – Kahlil Gibran_

_"When I stood a clear mirror before you, you gazed into me and saw your image. Then you said, 'I love you.' But in truth you loved yourself in me." – Kahlil Gibran_

_

* * *

_Sydney smiled as she watched Amélie go out the door. She turned back to Vaughn and her friends. 

Vaughn raised his eyebrows in a hinting way, "So…" he said, faking a yawn, "I'm kinda tired…"

Sydney picked up on it, trying to sound as convincing as possible, "Well…we should get you to bed then…"

Will looked confused, "Guys…it's like eight o'clock," he said looking at his watch.

Francie touched his arm, "Uh…honey…I don't think they're really that tired…"

Will looked at her confused too, "I don't…" realization hit him, "OH! Well…uh…yeah…I'm getting kinda tired too, how about you Fran?"

She smiled, "Yeah…really tired…"

"You want me to help you guys get to bed?"

"That'd be great Will," Sydney said, smiling widely.

Will nodded and moved over while Sydney helped Vaughn sit up. They each took a side and lifted him up into the bedroom.

Once they deposited him on the bed, Will cleared his throat, "Well…uh…goodnight then…"

Sydney smiled, "Yeah…night Will."

"Night," Vaughn echoed.

He smiled and closed the door on his way out the door, stopping Donovan before he wormed his way into the room. "Not tonight boy…they've got other things to do…" Sydney heard him say as he took the dog down the hall with him.

She went to the door and locked it, turning around to see Vaughn starting at her, eyes gleaming in the soft light of the room.

"So…" she said as she swayed her hips sensuously towards him, "You wanna see what I got for you?"

"Yeah…" he said smiling.

She returned the smile and skipped towards the many bags littering the floor.

She peeked in several of them and then moved a few with her to the bed. She sat down and pulled the first bag into her lap. Vaughn waited patiently as she pulled out several items.

"Ok…here's the first shirt I picked out…this one was the one on the mannequin…"

She held it up for him to see.

"It's nice," he said, fingering the material.

"I liked the color – it's teal…" she smiled, "and the mannequin was wearing a white tee shirt underneath, so…" she pulled out a tee shirt from the bag, "I got you one of those too…you know how I like to see the white tee shirt playing peek a boo with me under your other shirts…"

He smiled, "Yes, I do recall…"

"Ok…let's see what else we have…" she pulled out several other items, a few other button up shirts and a few polo shirts too. "They're all nice, soft, cotton too…I made sure," she said.

He looked from the shirt she was holding up to her face, "You're too good to me…you know that right?"

"I could never be TOO good to you honey," she said, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on his lips. He sighed as they parted.

"So…anything else?"

"You got a hot date or something?" she asked coyly.

"Well…I sure as hell hope so…"

She smiled, "We can look at the other stuff later, I just have one more surprise for you…"

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Yeah…I'll be right back," she said, kissing him quickly and leaping off the bed, running into the bathroom.

She didn't make him wait long, and in a few minutes, he heard her say from the bathroom, "Ok…ready?"

"Hell yeah!" he said anticipating.

"Michael…" she said in a sing-song voice, and she stepped tentatively out into the bedroom, leaning sexily against the doorframe.

He took one look at her and let out a long, low moan.

She smiled at his reaction, "You like?"

"Mmm…God…Syd…that's…WOW…you're so beautiful," he said, leaning his head back and taking in the full view, "You couldn't get any more gorgeous…"

She blushed, dimpled smile shining. She swayed her hips from side to side, watching as his eyes followed the movement of her hips. She stopped in front of him so he could get the whole picture.

She was wearing a black sheer bra with a matching sheer cover that hung loosely over her chest and abdomen. Further down, were a matching pair of sheer, ruffled black panties. Sydney turned around; hands on her hips, so Vaughn could see the back.

"Holy shit!" he said when she turned around.

"Mmm hmm," she said in a low, husky voice.

"Are those crotchless?" he asked surprised.

"Uh huh…" she said, smiling sexily.

"Oh God Syd…"

She smiled when she could already see the notable tent in his boxers.

She approached the bed and straddled him, so she was sitting on his lap, one leg on either side of him.

She leaned down and kissed him as he moved his hand up to cup her sheer-covered breast. She moaned into his mouth on contact as he moved his hand to play with her nipple through the fabric of the bra. She squirmed as he applied gentle pressure to the nipple, rolling it between his fingers. He added slightly more pressure, making her moan, before he pinched it hard. Her body arched toward him as he switched to the other nipple. He pulled away from her, then pulled her closer to him again and he attacked her free nipple with his mouth. He started by tracing the whole nipple, making it wet and cool when the air hit it. The peaks became even more sensitive as he suckled gently. After spending sufficient time on that nipple, he switched again, sucking the other nipple while manually stimulating the first one again.

She rocked her hips back and forth against the material of his boxers, making them slightly moist from her juices. He moaned as he felt the warm fluid on his boxers.

She pulled back and looked at him with smoky brown eyes, "I picked these panties out for a reason…"

"Yeah…" he said slightly breathless.

"You wanna take a guess? What could we do with crotchless panties?"

"Hmm…I could be inside you without you taking them off?"

"Try again Boyscout…"

He smiled, thinking, then it dawned on him, his eyes lit up with excitement, "Ooo…I like that idea…it's been a long time…WAY too long…"

She smiled, "I know baby…"

She took his arm out of the sling and pulled the shirt off of him, then moved down and hurriedly removed his boxers. His erection sprang out and twitched in expectation. She reached over and gave him a few gentle strokes and then moved the pillow down so he was laying at a slightly less elevated position, but enough so that he could see what she was doing.

She smiled and positioned herself so she was facing away from him, raising her eyebrows up and down. He chuckled until she lowered her body down enough so that she could make contact with his twitching penis.

He arched up, but she moved away, making him wait.

"Vaughn…"

"Yeah?" he said in a strained voice.

"Together…"

"Oh God…yeah…" he said as she scooted herself closer to him.

From his vantage point, Sydney's soaked opening was mere centimeters from his face. He moaned again, "God Syd…it's been so long since I've seen you…"

She smiled, looking back while still gently stroking his ever-enlarging cock, "I know baby…"

He smiled back and then set to work, taking her completely by surprise. She felt his fingers part her lips as his tongue made a sweep of her drenched center.

She moaned loudly and could feel him smile behind her, "You taste so good Sydney…"

She wasn't going to let him have all the fun however.

She leaned down again and took the head of his penis in her mouth, sucking and pulling it roughly. His hips arched into her mouth, sending him farther inside. She eagerly took all of him in her mouth, swallowing to add to his pleasure.

He moaned and made another slow sweep up her center, finally making contact with her clit. The minute his tongue touched her clit, she pushed back, forcing him to make contact again.

He moved his fingers to spread her open further and then languidly pushed his tongue inside, probing.

She moaned around his shaft, sending waves of sensation all the way up his body. He moaned as his tongue delved inside her silky walls. Once he had her humming a steady rhythm around his cock, he moved his fingers from her lips to her clit. He rolled it between his fingers while keeping up a steady beat of thrusts from his tongue, then changed his rolling to pinching and then to circles. Soon her hips were moving in circles with him, trying to decide whether to circle or thrust.

She moved her hand down to stroke his balls, pulling and kneading them before rolling them between her fingers. She stopped her sucking motion and moved her mouth down to each ball, taking each one in turn into her mouth and sucking them hard. Meanwhile, her hand took to fisting his cock quickly, making his hips thrust into her hand, trying to get more friction. Soon, she had him humming into her pussy too.

She smiled as she moved back to his cock, bobbing her head up and down on his cock in a fevered motion.

He closed his eyes momentarily, trying to take in all the sensations that his mind and body were sending him. His cock in her mouth was enough to concentrate on, but here was Sydney, exposed to him, and he had full access to her femininity, full access that he hadn't had in a month, give or take a few weeks. He switched tactics then, moving his fingers off her clit, which elicited a disappointed moan from her, but he made up for it when his tongue took it's place and his finger moved to where his tongue had been.

She arched into his hand when she felt his finger probe her. His tongue on her clit made hurried circles, pushing pressure on one side, then on the other, then full on the center. He added a second finger, rotating his wrist so that he could push against her front wall. He moved in thrusts next, realizing that they had picked up the same rhythm. Every time he pushed into her pussy, she moved down his shaft. He kept switching from thrusting to circles over her front wall.

Thrust. Circle. Thrust. Circle.

She got frustrated then, massaging his balls, making him arch into her mouth again. She moved her hand that had been resting on his thigh to aid her in her own pursuit. She grabbed a hold of the base of his cock while she sucked hard on the tip. She moved her tongue to the sensitive underside and then took her mouth off of him entirely. He kept up his motions however, and she was forced to stop a minute and concentrate on thrusting herself back on his ever annoying fingers. If she could just make him stay on that front wall area a little longer…but then he'd change it again. Damn him, she thought.

She moved back to his cock, stroking him from base to tip and then following the same path with her tongue. Her other hand moved to cup his heavy sac again, he knew he was getting close, he could feel his balls starting to tense and move up in their pursuit of release, but he could tell from the frantic way she was pushing against him, she was close too.

He moved his legs, pushing his knees out slightly to give himself more leverage and then pushed up into Sydney's waiting mouth. He could feel himself hit the back of her throat and let out a low groan.

In response, he conceded to giving her what she wanted, and rotated his wrist again to push two fingers against her the front wall. He moved them in circles until he found the raised spot inside her and then put pressure on that spot. She arched into his hand, making him press harder and she moaned as she felt him hit her special spot. Her legs began to tremble and she knew that after she came, her legs were going to give out.

She renewed her efforts on the head of his cock, sucking forcefully and gripping the base of his cock as she sucked and applying just the right amount of massaging pressure on his balls.

She tumbled over the edge, coming on his pressing fingers and he came simultaneously, pushing himself a little deeper in her mouth as jet after jet of his fluid flooded her mouth. She took it all, swallowing and moaning through her own orgasm.

He removed his fingers from her drenched and pulsing channel as she let his cock slip from her mouth. She had barely enough energy to move, but she managed to turn and curl up on his chest.  
They both sighed contentedly as they rested.

Vaughn said in a shaky breath, "Sydney…that was so good…I've missed being able to do that to you…for you."

"I've missed it too," she admitted in a similarly passion-induced voice.

They rested a while before she pushed herself off of his chest, looking into his eyes, "So, was that a good surprise?"

"Oh yeah…" he said smiling.

She smiled back at him and moved up to kiss him. She brushed past his cock on her way up, feeling it twitch again and become semi-erect. She looked down at it as it started to swell and throb again.

She looked back up at him, "You ready again?" she asked, with a mischievous grin.

"I'm always ready for you Sydney…"

She melted at the sincerity of his words, immediately sitting up and wasting no time in getting him inside her.

She pulled his cock to her opening and deftly inserted him before he had any more time to comment.

She tensed her muscles; pulling him in as far as he could go, pressing her hands against his abdomen. He could feel the fire spreading from her hands on him and from the heat that he was sheathed in. Her muscles began milking him. On her up thrusts, she would pull him with her using her muscles, then let go and slam back down until he was buried to the hilt once again.

She leaned down, becoming gentler, resting her forehead against his and taking his hands into hers. She gently grasped the hand that was most injured, careful not to jar his shoulder and held onto his hands, squeezing on every thrust; connected in every way.

She watched his face contort with pleasure as she squeezed him, watching his passion induced eyes become even cloudier shades of jade as he squeezed her hands in his.

"Syd…" he straggled, trying to let her know that he was close.

But, of course, she already knew that…and smiled lovingly as she silenced him with a kiss, letting him know that she understood, "Me too honey…me too…"

His hips rose up to meet her downward thrusts as she moved on him. She forced him deep inside her, not that he was complaining in any way, shape or form. She pulsed on him, coming forcefully.

"Let go Michael…come in me…"

With no more words he arched, sending him deeper inside her, no longer able to stop the flow of their ecstasy. He exploded from deep within his abdomen, sending a new batch of his seed deep in her, filling her completely.

He breathed heavily as she stayed on him, still resting her forehead against his, trying to catch her own breath and still holding onto both of his hands, locked together. He shuddered with aftershocks, feeling her channel still pulsing around him long after he had emptied himself into her. She smiled, caressing his cheek with their intertwined hands.

"I love you…" he said softly, full of emotion. She looked at his eyes, seeing moisture brimming.

She got tears in her own eyes, "I love you too…are you ok?" she asked softly.

He nodded, but didn't talk anymore. She moved down trying to lay on his chest, and was going to dislodge their hands, but he held on tightly. She crossed them over his chest and lay down over them, listening to the rapid beating of his heart and his breathing as it slowly came down.

Sydney fell asleep almost instantly, exhaustion and satiation taking over.

Although Vaughn was tired as well, he stayed awake for a while, relishing in the feeling of being alone and inside her.

He moved slightly, shifting so he was lying down. Soon, his eyelids began to fall and he drifted off to sleep soundlessly, safe, with Sydney in his arms.


	75. Infectious Interim

**Chapter 75: Infectious Interim **

_"To have courage for whatever comes in life – everything lies in that." – Saint Teresa de Avila _

"A cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say / About the things caught in my mind  
And as the day was dawning my plane flew away / With all the things caught in my mind  
And I wanna be there when you're / Coming down  
And I wanna be there when you hit the ground  
So don't go away, say what you say  
But say that you'll stay / Forever and a day…in the time of my life  
Cos I need more time, yes I need more time / Just to make things right  
Damn my situation and the games I have to play / With all the things caught in my mind  
Damn my education I can't find the words to say / With all the things caught in my mind  
And I wanna be there when you're / Coming down  
And I wanna be there when you hit the ground  
So don't go away, say what you say  
But say that you'll stay / Forever and a day…in the time of my life  
Cos I need more time, yes I need more time / Just to make things right" – "Don't Go Away" - Oasis

* * *

Thursday morning dawned and Vaughn woke up, not feeling Sydney on top of him. He moved his hand to his eyes, rubbing the sleep away and trying to figure out where Sydney had gone. 

"Syd?" he called out sleepily.

"Mmm…right here sweetie," he heard her say and then felt her hand on his chest, "You ok?" she asked, sleep still evident in her voice.

"Yeah," he started, "Just didn't know where you went."

She moved over, covering half of his body with hers, "I'm never far," she stated smiling.

"I know…thank God for that…" he said smiling in return, "Last night was…" he stopped, not knowing what to add.

She nodded, "I know…" she said as she laid her head on his chest.

"You hungry?" she asked yawning.

"Yeah…after all that exercise last night…"

She chuckled, "Mmm…speaking of exercise – we gotta start that again today, we've been rather lax in that department."

"Great…" he paused, "Lax? Don'tcha think I can get my exercise in other ways? Like say…like last night's exercise?"

"Actually Vaughn, I'm sure it does help…" she admitted smiling again.

"So, then we can just scratch off all that other exercising?" he asked hopefully.

"Mmm…nice try," she said moving off of him and the bed.

She grabbed her robe and moved back to the bed to help him sit up. She took off the rib wrap and checked the bandages on the front of his chest and abdomen for any signs of soaking through. She took off the first bandage, got up and went to the bathroom, returned with a warm washcloth and carefully cleaned the wound. Once she was satisfied that it was clean, she applied some first aid cream and then placed a fresh bandage over the wound. She had noticed for the past few days that the surgical incisions were healing quite nicely. They had stitches of course, but when she removed a surgical bandage now, they didn't bleed as much. Some of the other wounds weren't so lucky. While they never bled profusely, they bled enough that the bandage required changing once a day and those were still the ones Sydney had to watch for infection. She moved onto the next bandage and started to pull the tape off. Vaughn moved away from her slightly, hissing quietly.

She looked up at him, "Are you ok?"

He smiled reassuringly, but said, "The tape on this one – it's really stuck, hurts…"

She looked at it more closely, studying the bandage area. She sat back a minute, thinking, then she picked up the washcloth and moved it over to the tape, gently prodding the edge of the tape back with the damp cloth.

He winced, but didn't move away from her again.

Once she had one side off, she checked the wound itself. It wasn't a surgical incision, it seemed to be a gash from quite possibly a whip, but it seemed to be healing fine. The area where the tape had been was an entirely different matter. That area was red and obviously irritated.

"Oh Vaughn," she said gently tracing the her finger over the affected area.

He looked down at it, knowing full well what had happened, "I guess my skin decided it didn't like that much tape," he said studying it.

"We can't put more tape back on there…plus we haven't got the other side off yet," she said worriedly.

"Just pull it off…"

"That'll hurt like hell Vaughn."

"I know, but just get it over with."

She looked at him in protest, but his look was one of determination, so she sighed and gripped the side of the bandage.

"You know, I could just use the cloth again," she tried valiantly.

"Nah…just pull it already…"

She shrugged and bit her lower lip. She looked up one more time and he nodded. She pulled quickly, noting the grunt he made when she finally pulled it off.

The other side where the tape had been was just as affected as the other. She tossed the old bandage aside and picked up the cloth, laying it over the whole wound, tape marks and all.

He made a small noise when she put the cloth over the wound but then settled into the pillow as she kept gentle pressure on it through the cloth.

His head dropped back onto the pillow too and she reached out her other hand, running it through his hair.

He looked back at her, smiling, but she thought he looked tired suddenly. She smiled softly, just letting him rest.

"I hope the rest aren't like that one Vaughn," she offered after a few more seconds.

"Me too…" he said softly.

"We can't put the tape over those parts again…not for a while at least," she said.

He looked at her, echoing her look of uncertainty, "No, I suppose not."

She moved the cloth, examining the wound and putting some cream on it too. Then she grabbed another gauze pad and spent a few minutes trying to position it so if wouldn't be taped over the same spots again. She finally figured out a way that avoided the old tape marks. Once satisfied that it wouldn't irritate it more, she placed the pad over the wound and taped around it.

She looked at him, uncertainty again in her eyes, "Should I keep going or should we stop?"

"They have to be changed eventually, right?"

"Well, yeah…"

"Then just get it all over with now…"

"Ok," she said moving on to the next one. Thankfully, this one seemed to be like the first, and there was no tape irritation. She cleaned it, put the cream on and then covered it again. She moved on to all the ones on his chest, finding only one other one that was tape-irritated.

"Ok…now we gotta do the ones on your back honey…" she said.

He nodded and she helped him sit up, moving to sit behind him on the bed.

His back always took a longer amount of time because of all the small bandages on it. She started to remove a few at a time, and it seemed to lessen the time he had to sit up. She came to one of the larger bandages, one that covered a rather long and nasty looking whip mark. She always hated to change that bandage.

She let out a small sad sigh as she began to take the bandage off.

"What?" he asked when he heard her sigh, "Ouch," he said quietly, moving his shoulders slightly.

She didn't answer him right away; instead she tried to examine the bandage to see what had hurt him.

She peeled the tape slowly and realized that the bandage was sticking to the wound.

He hissed again in discomfort.

"I'm sorry Vaughn…I think it's stuck to the wound…"

She grimaced along with him as she tried to be as gentle as possible when removing the bandage. Once she got about half of it off, she stopped, examining the wound.

"Well…you want the good news or the bad news?" she asked.

"Mmm…good first…"

"Well…the good news it that I think I can get it off…the bad news is that it's going to hurt and I think it's infected…and you have the tape marks on this one too…"

"Well, none of that's really good news Sydney."

"I know baby," she said softly.

She started again and got the rest of the bandage off through his grunts of agony. The bandage was soiled and there were traces of puss on both the wound and the bandage itself. That confirmed any lingering doubts she had about infection.

She traced the outline of the wound, which was swollen, and a rosy red color, and warm to the touch, and he moved away, grunting again.

"Vaughn…I think this has been getting infected for awhile…did it feel sore?"

"Well, my back's always sore, how I am supposed to know the difference?" he asked seriously.  
"If I'd known it was infected, I would have told you…"

"I know…" she sat back just looking at the horrid wound, trying to think of what to do, "Well…I mean I can clean it…but…I'm not sure…" she trailed off thinking.

"Syd?"

"Yeah…I think I'm gonna call Tom…"

Vaughn didn't say anything, but he didn't protest either.

"Why don't you lay back and rest while I call – that way you don't have to stay sitting up."

"Syd…how am I supposed to lay back with an infected wound there?"

"Oh! Oh…uh…" she reached for the washcloth, "tell me if this hurts you," she said watching his profile as she moved the washcloth over to the wound. She placed it gently on a small corner of the wound.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah…"

"Does it hurt with it on there?"

"A little, but only when you first did it, but then it felt ok."

"Ok, then I'm going to try to put it over the whole thing, ok?"

"Yeah."

She moved the cloth over as much of the wound as the folded cloth would cover and tried to get it on the wound with as much ease as she could muster. He grunted when she made first contact, but then he was quiet.

"Ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's ok."

She moved then to set him back on the pillow, carefully holding onto the washcloth as he lay back, so it wouldn't move and then made sure it was trapped between the pillow and Vaughn.

Taking one more glance at him to make sure he was ok, she grabbed the phone and hit the speed dial for Tom.

It rang three times, "This is Dr. Barker…"

"Dr. Barker?" Sydney said trying to withhold a laugh.

"I'm in a public place, and I am a professional sometimes Sydney, or at least I try to be…" he said with a chuckle, "what's up?"

"Well…"

"Oh no…what happened this time?" he said sighing like a parent who was going to have to go bail their kid out of jail or something.

"Nothing happened, it's just, well…we were changing Vaughn's bandages this morning and the tape is irritating his skin on a few of them," she started and was going to continue but Tom cut her off.

"That's to be expected Sydney. He's gonna have them for a while, and unfortunately that's the downside of tape…"

"That's not the problem…"

"Oh, I'm sorry…what is then?"

"I just changed the position of the tape for the other ones, so they're ok…"

"Excellent…"

"Thanks, anyway…we moved onto the ones on his back and one of the larger ones…I'm pretty sure it's infected."

"Which one?"

"Um…one of the bigger ones…from the whip," she said softly.

"Shit. The deep one?"

"Yeah…that's the one…"

"What does it look like – the wound?"

"Uh…well, it's red, in and around the wound, it's swollen and it's kinda warm, there's puss too, and well…it hurts obviously."

"Does he have a fever?"

"Um, let me check," she said moving over to the bed and placing her hand on Vaughn's forehead. He looked up at her, but didn't say anything.

"No, I don't think so, he seems cool enough."

"Does he have any flu-like symptoms?"

"Vaughn, do you feel like you have the flu?"

"No," he said shaking his head.

"He says no," Sydney related.

"Well, that's good, that means that the infection hasn't gone systemic yet…"

"Systemic?"

"It's not in his blood stream."

"Good," Sydney said sighing, "so what do you we do now? Do I clean it? Peroxide or something?"

Vaughn groaned when she said that, "That would sting like hell Sydney."

"I know sweetie," she said looking at him sympathetically.

"Are you calling me sweetie now?" Tom asked.

"No, and that's very professional, Dr. Barker," Sydney said sarcastically.

He chuckled, "No, don't put any peroxide on it…or any iodine or stuff like that, that won't really help with a wound like this…what are you doing with it right now? Does it have a dressing on it?"

"No, I was changing it, and the gauze sticks to the wound, so I didn't put another one on…right now, we've just got a washcloth on it."

"You're very good, you know that?" Tom asked, a smile evident in his voice, "Cold compresses and baths, believe it or not are quite effective…" he paused, "Tell you what, I'm not that far away from you right now, I'll stop over and take a look, just to make sure, ok?"

"That sounds great Tom, thanks…as always."

"My pleasure, I'll see you in a bit."

"Ok, bye Tom."

She hung up and smiled at Vaughn, "Well, turns out I'm a genius…"

He smiled.

"It was good not to clean it and cold compresses are good too, so I'm awesome," she said proudly.

"Good job honey," he said resting his head on the headboard.

She smiled and moved over to the bed, resting a hand on his chest, "Are you having any problems breathing? Cause we've had that rib wrap off for quite a while."

"I'm ok," he said quietly.

She smiled and kissed him, careful not to press on his ribs, "Tom's gonna stop by and check it out."

"Ok," he said tiredly. He waited a few moments and than said, "You must be getting tired of all of this…"

"What do you mean?" she asked concerned.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Bandages, infections, exercises, fevers, nightmares…"

She smiled, "Nope," she said quickly and sweetly.

He smiled back, "You're sure?"

"Yup!" she said in the same tone of voice. "You know…I just realized, we need to get some boxers on you…"

"Why? I'm sure Tom's familiar with male anatomy."

"Yes, I'm sure he is, but let's not give him a show, ok?"

She ran off and came back with a pair of boxers for him and helped him get them on, "There," she said smiling satisfactorily.

"Can we take them off again after he leaves?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We'll see…" she said.

The doorbell rang then and she kissed him quickly before going to answer the door.


	76. The Professional

**Chapter 76: The Professional **

_"Oh when the sunshine beckons to ya / And your wings begin to unfold  
The thoughts you bring and the songs you sing / Are gonna keep me from the cold  
And if the sword is among ya / And it's words may wound my soul  
You can fill me up with what you've got / Cos my heart's been keeping old  
She is love / And her ways are high and steep  
She is love / And I believe her when she speaks.  
Love / And her ways are high and steep  
She is love / And I believe, I do believe her when she speaks.  
You're in all my thoughts of passion / And the dreams of my delight  
Whatever stirs my mortal frame / Will you keep it warm at night  
I don't know where you come from / No I haven't got a clue  
All I know is I'm in love / With someone who loves me too." – "She Is Love" – Oasis_

_"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." – Henri Nouwen_

* * *

Sydney opened the door and Tom smiled at her from the other side, "Hey Tom." 

"Hello Sydney," Tom said moving into the house, "so what did you do to him?" he asked smiling.

"What do you mean?" she asked confused.

"What," ahem, "exercises were you doing that would cause an infection of this nature?"

She smiled, "You're bad."

"Well, I try," he said.

She moved towards the bedroom, Tom trailing behind.

"So, are your friends here? They didn't have anything to do with this, did they?" Tom said.

Sydney turned around; ready to defend her friends, but she saw the huge smile on Tom's face and instantly started giggling.

"You suck Tom."

"Thank you…"

They were still giggling when they entered the bedroom.

Tom moved past Sydney and went over to Vaughn, taking his hand in a friendly handshake, "Hey man! How's it going? Other than the infection…"

"Not too bad…yourself?"

"I'm good…or as good as can be expected…"

Vaughn gave him a strange questioning look.

"Ah…well…Brianna dumped me…"

"Brianna? Didn't you date her for like two years?"

"Yeah…seems she found someone new, something about doctor's hours being too rough and crap like that."

"Just wait till she finds out you're gonna be making the big bucks – six months tops man – you'll be head of the ER and then she'll be sorry…"

"Yeah…but anyway, we can talk about that later, that's not why I'm here," he said clearing his throat and giving Sydney a sideways glance.

She was grinning like the Cheshire cat watching the men interact. It was nice to see Vaughn chatty with someone.

"This is professional Dr. Thomas Barker here…" she said giggling, and Vaughn joined in.

"You know…I could just leave and y'all can deal with this little problem here on your own," he said teasing.

"I smell malpractice," Vaughn said which sent Sydney off into a fit of giggles again.

"Yeah…now who sucks, little missy?" Tom said with a smile.

He moved over closer to Vaughn, "Ok, let's take a look here," he said as he eased Vaughn into a sitting position.

Sydney turned serious in an instant and moved to the other side of the bed to watch. She cringed when Tom uncovered the wound, but she made sure that Vaughn didn't see her. Tom saw though and gave her a reassuring smile before he started examining.

He prodded the area gently, and used the cloth to wipe the wound clean of some of the oozy material that was surrounding it. Vaughn groaned slightly as Tom tried to determine the extent of the infection.

"Do you have a thermometer?"

"Yeah, sure…" Sydney said, walking off to the bathroom and handing it to Tom. He reached around and stuck the thermometer in Vaughn's ear, waiting for the beep. Once it beeped, he removed it and looked at the LCD display.

"99.0," he said, "not 98.6, but it's not enough to say that the infection has spread. K, I don't think this is a systemic infection. It's swollen, it's red, it's hot, it's exuding," he stopped when Sydney looked at him strangely, "sorry – oozing…exuding means oozing; just some fancy professionalism there," he said with a wink and then continued, "and I'm sure it hurts too…"

Vaughn confirmed with a resigned nod.

"Ok…since it's not systemic, we don't need any more oral antibiotics – plus, all the pain medication and the ibuprofen and naproxen should lessen any swelling or discomfort too. So, all we have to worry about now is dressing it. You're gonna hafta change this one more often than once a day now until it gets better, ok Sydney?"

"Sure…"

"Ok, so this is what I brought. I wasn't sure what I was going to find, so I brought a selection." He reached into the bag he had brought with him and laid out several items on the nightstand.

He looked at the wound again and then picked up a package that said 3M™ Tegagen™ Alginate Dressing.

"What is that?" Sydney asked.

Tom smiled, "You'll like this, it's actually derived from Scottish seaweed – it helps absorb the exudates – or the ooze for those of you not medically inclined."

Sydney stuck out her tongue and Tom smiled.

"You caught this early enough that I don't think it's going to be a real problem. It'll hurt for a while, but it's not a horrible infection – it's not systemic as I said. If it was, then we'd have a problem – deterioration of the wound condition, flu and fever, I & Ds - incision and drainage which can be very unpleasant – that would mean that an incision would have to made in the wound to decompress an abscess or remove devitalized tissue…"

He looked at Sydney who was making a very disgusted face, but then added, "Yuck."

Tom smiled, "Yeah, not very pleasant, but you caught it, so," he made the thumbs up sign.

Vaughn was very quiet during their whole conversation and Sydney was getting rather worried.

Tom seemed kinda oblivious, and just kept giving Sydney instructions, "Ok, so we've got the Tegagen Alginate Dressings, henceforth to be know to you as TADs, and then I also brought these other products," he held them up, "our wonderful 3M™ Tegapore™ Wound Contact Material, which," he turned the package over and read, "is a tactile primary wound contact layer for protecting delicate exuding wounds and skin and can be left in place whilst some secondary absorbent dressings are replaced. And our wonderful 3M™ Cavilon™ No Sting Barrier Film, which," he read again, "is a unique 'no sting' transparent barrier film, which gives up to 72 hours of skin protection." He continued, listing: "Product is dispersed in a unique non-stinging solvent, which dries rapidly; Non-petrolatum base does not clog incontinence pad linings; Non cytotoxic; Film possesses good oxygen and moisture vapor permeability; Available in different sizes and formats to suit application requirements; Removal of film is not required between re-applications; Foam Applicators are sterile; and Enhances the adhesion and wear time of some tapes and dressings…so you said that he's been having some tape irritation – this will help with that too…and it almost is like an invisible band-aid kind of thing…it's pretty neat," he concluded with childlike wonder.

Sydney smiled, "That sounds really great Tom, I'm sure it'll help a lot."

"Let's do the first one now," he added.

"Ok."

"First, I'd check the wound every time you change it…look for any strange discoloration or if it starts to look worse, then I'm gonna hafta come back…after that, try to clean the wound as much as you can…you can put the first aid cream on if you want, but really, the Cavilon stuff is better, the cream won't do much for an infected wound. So, then I'd put some of that on and then finish up with the TADs…ok?"

"Yeah…ok…what about like baths and stuff? Can he do that?"

"Sure…baths are fine, but I'd put the Cavilon on there before you get in. It'll protect the wound from excess moisture and any contaminants in the water. And the cold compresses work well for pain – but again, I'd put on the Cavilon on and then use like an ice pack or something. It'll help with discomfort."

"Ok," Sydney said, looking at Vaughn who was still very silent.

She watched as Tom followed all those steps, showing her how to apply the Cavilon and then he placed the TAD pad over the wound.

"If you put too much of the Cavilon stuff on, it'll get really stiff, just to let you know."

Tom and Sydney eased Vaughn back into the pillow.

"Let him rest for awhile and then you can do the rest of the wounds. If any of them are infected, do the same thing. But, if a bunch get that way, call me."

"Ok."

"How are the exercises going?" he asked no one in particular.

"Well…" Sydney started, looking again at Vaughn, "he gets exercise, just not the regimented kind. We've been kind of lax with that…he moves to the couch and outside and stuff like that, and he gets…other exercise," Sydney said choosing her words carefully, "but we haven't been doing the crunches, not really since he had the little setback."

"That's ok…like I said, they're guidelines, it's not set in stone, do what you think you can," he said to Vaughn who nodded. "By next week though, he should be doing some crunches, ok?"

"Yup…we'll do that."

"Good. You know, I just thought about something – it would be better if that wound didn't have constant pressure on it, like 24/7. If it's possible, try to lay on your side or something for at least a while during the day, otherwise, it might get stuck…even with all of our preventive measures…how are your ribs feeling? You've had the wrap off for a long time now…you're breathing ok?"

"Yeah…it's not too bad…"

"Well…do what you think you can, if laying on your side hurts too much, then stay on your back, but otherwise try another angle for a while." Tom looked at his watch, "Ok…well then, I'm gonna go, I gotta get back to the hospital…you call if you need anything else. Good catch Sydney," he said smiling.

She smiled back, "Thanks for coming over."

"You bet. If I don't hear from you, I'll call you the middle of next week and figure out a time for a check up."

"Sounds good."

"I can let myself out," he said smiling, "Mike…you take it easy…but not too easy."

"Got it Tom, thanks," Vaughn replied.

Tom waved and left unceremoniously.

Sydney looked to Vaughn, worried because he'd been so quiet, "How are you doing?" she asked sitting down beside him again.

"Great," he said quietly.

She took his hand in hers and rubbed soft circles over the top of his hand, "I know this sucks Vaughn…"

"What? Tom coming over?"

"No…the whole thing…the wounds and everything."

"You make it pretty easy…"

"Thanks…you were really quiet, are you ok?"

"Yeah…it hurts…" he looked at her, debating, but then asked, "Do you think I could have my pills?"

"Oh my God!" she ran out of the room and into the kitchen, grabbing the pills and a glass of milk and coming back in. He heard the tail end of a conversation she seemed to be having with herself, "…hell you were thinking…changing bandages and making the poor guy sit up all that while with no pain medication…real smooth Sydney…"

He smiled when she handed him the pills and the glass of milk.

"I'm so sorry Vaughn, I don't know what the hell was wrong with me…"

"There's nothing wrong with you…you were busy saving me from further discomfort by catching an infected wound before it got to be really bad…it's fine…it was just starting to get annoying now…" he smiled.

"C'mere…" he added.

She moved to sit on the bed again and he pulled her over so she was lying against his chest.

"You beat yourself up way too much Sydney…you're too hard on yourself, just give yourself a break and realize that you're doing a great job…you've saved me a million times in the last few months…ok?"

She smiled, "Ok."

"You want breakfast now or do you want to finish the bandage changing first?"

"Just get all the bandage crap over with first."

"Ok…"

She got up and helped him to sit again and then moved on to the other wounds on his back, praying that no others would be infected. She was relieved, as he certainly was, that there weren't any more that were infected.

She found a few more that had tape irritation, but that was nothing compared to the infected one. She reapplied the rib wrap again and he seemed more relaxed when he had it back on. She laid him back then, positioning him so his right side, the side with the wound on it, was actually off of the pillow. He still had enough leverage so he didn't fall over, but it also took the pressure off of his back.

She got up then and went to make breakfast, came back and helped him eat and then cleaned up the dishes and came back yet again to be with him.


	77. Tech Heaven

**P/N**:froggygrl101: Thany you for being the only one to review is so many chapters. I dedicate this updtae to you. P.S: It is just a lot of research

**Chapter 77: Tech Heaven **

_"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." – Arthur C. Clarke _

"Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand." – Putt's Law

"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three." – Alice Kahn

* * *

"You look tired sweetie," Sydney said after they had talked awhile after breakfast. 

"Mmm…yeah…I'm tired…" Vaughn admitted.

"Why don't you take a nap?"

"Are you gonna stay?"

"If you want me to…"

He smiled, "It's ok…I can sleep by myself for a while…"

"Ok honey, I'll check on you in a bit."

"Ok," he said yawning and watching her go. He was asleep in no time.

Sydney decided to take a look at some of the work that her father had given her and that Will had come up with. She pulled up a chair at the kitchen table and opened a few of the files.

She picked up the phone and dialed the number for the CIA operations office. A receptionist answered, "Dispatch."

"This is officer 2300844, may I speak with Will Tippin please?"

"One moment," the woman said and Sydney heard hold music.

Soon after, the music stopped and Will said, "Uh…Tippin here," by the way his tone rose at the end of the remark, Sydney started chuckling.

"Not sure who you are Will?" she said.

"Oh, it's you Syd…good…I thought for a minute it might be someone important."

"Hey!" she said.

"I'm just kidding, but seriously, other than like, Fran, you're one of say, five that have called me. And it's usually not work related…" he paused, "Gee, now that I said that, I'm really hoping they monitor all of calls so that I can get into trouble for personal calls."

"Don't sweat it Will…"

"Yeah, that's easy for you to say, Super Spy…I'm just a grunt, so, I don't think we have the same leverage."

She chuckled again.

"Everything ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's fine, I was just going to get started on some of these files, and I need that IT guy to hook me up, patch me into the CIA system."

"Oh, sure…I'll have him give you a call…you can probably do it over the phone…I'm sure you can handle minor tech-ware…"

"Yeah, I think I can," Sydney agreed.

"Ok, well I'll call him now, and he should give you a buzz in a little bit…"

"Great Will, thanks."

"You bet."

"I'll see you later tonight."

"Call me if you have any more work-related questions."

"I'll do that…"

"K, bye Syd."

"Bye Will."

Sydney hung up the phone smiling. She went back to the files waiting for the IT guy to call.

She was on about the third paragraph of one of the intelligence files when the phone rang. She grabbed it instantly, not wanting it to wake Vaughn, and she was rather proud of herself when she caught it before it rang twice.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hi, may I speak with Kate Jones please?" a woman on the other line said.

"Speaking," Sydney said happily.

"May I have confirmation please?" the woman added.

"Codeword: master key."

"Thank you, patching you through on a secure line, please hold."

Sydney got up and went to the computer, waiting for the hold music to end again.

She sat down and heard a man on the other line, "Agent Bristow?"

"Yep, right here…"

"Hi, I'm Brody Denison…Will Tippin asked me to give you a call, help you set up your computer to patch into the CIA mainframe network."

"Hi Brody…"

"You familiar with computers?"

"Enough."

"Good."

"Ok, I'm gonna give you a list of prompts to type in, k?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"Ok, go to Start, Run, and then type Command – all caps, then click Ok."

Sydney followed the steps, "Ok."

"You should see screen now that says MS-DOS prompt."

"Yep."

"Ok, good, now where it says C:WINDOWSDesktop , type ping 127.0.0.1 and press ENTER."

"Ok."

"What do you see?"

"Four replies, something about–"

"That's fine, you're good…"

"Ok."

"Now repeat the ping command, type ping ping 127.0.0.1 and press ENTER."

"Ok."

"Now type ping 127.0.0.2a."

"Ok."

"Now, you're gonna see some stuff flashing on your screen, it's just me…"

Sydney watched as various windows popped up and down at lightening speed. She could hear rapid typing on the keyboard through the phone as he weaved his way through her computer.

After a few minutes, he said, "Ok, I've checked the whole hard drive for any security leaks, and there don't seem to be any. I put up a special security section that we use here to protect any information that you're downloading there or uploading here, so no one should be able to get to the information…if you look in your folder on the desktop, the one that's marked 'Sydney,' the link to the CIA mainframe is in there…it's labeled, 'Insurance Quotes.' I figured anyone who might access your computer wouldn't look there…who'd want to look at someone else's insurance quotes…"

She chuckled, "Ok, let me go there…" she clicked on the link, "Uh…Brody?"

"Yeah?"

"When I click the link, I really do get an insurance quote."

He giggled through the phone, "That's my own personal touch…click the back button…"

She did, and another screen popped up that read, 'Do you want to accept this quote?'

Sydney said, "Ok, now I have some message about accepting the quote…"

"Uh huh, nobody's gonna accept a quote for you that'd be accessing your files, would they?"

"Um, no."

"Good, then click 'accept.'"

She clicked accept and the CIA log in screen came on, "Cool," she admitted.

"Thanks…ok, then you should be good to go…when you want to log off, just do what you'd do normally at Ops and it should be fine. On a daily basis, the front for the site will change, but it'll always be something like a quote for insurance or something you'd have to buy – clothing, sporting goods, something like that…just always click the back button and accept the offer…then you'll be able to get in."

"That's really amazing Brody…is that what you do all day? Change the ISPs?"

"No, that only takes about an hour…"

"What do you do with the rest of your day?"

"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you…" he giggled after a moment of silence, "I've ALWAYS wanted to say that!"

She chuckled, "I'm glad I could help…"

"If you need anything, just give me a call."

"I'll need your help with a laptop later…we have one of those here too…so we'll have to link that one too."

"Vaughn's laptop?"

"Uh…yeah…how do you know about that? Did Will tell you?"

"No, Vaughn and I worked together for awhile after our training at the farm…his is already set up…has been for years."

"Oh."

"Yep, he used to take mission specs home with him and stuff, so I helped him set it up."

"Ok…well then I'll call you if I have any questions."

"Cool, I'll be here…tell Vaughn I say hello."

"I'll do that…thanks for your help Brody."

"Not a problem. Later," he said.

"Bye," she hung up and stared at the screen; the technology they employed was phenomenally fascinating. She could just imagine a room full of techies, all looking like Marshall, pouring over new and exciting ways to use the internet as a front for the CIA. She smiled thinking of all the dastardly things they could come up with if they wanted to.

She went back to the kitchen table and picked up the file she'd been reading before Brody had called.

She was about halfway through the second file when she heard, "Syd?"

She got up instantly and went into the bedroom, the only place the sound could have emanated from.

She came in to find that Donovan had made his way to the bed, lying at Vaughn's feet, sleeping soundly. She hadn't seen him that morning; Will and Francie must have had him in their room last night again.

She smiled at Vaughn, "Did you have a nice nap?" she asked, sitting down next to him.

"Yeah…"

"You ok?"

"I believe so," he said smiling.

"How's your back?"

"It's sore…but it's ok."

She reached out and touched his face, "it's almost lunch time, you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, what do you want?"

"What'cha got?"

"Well, I pretty much stocked up on everything that you could eat known to man. I don't think I told you…when I went to grocery store, the check out kid asked me if I had kids at home, and I asked him if he wanted to come over for dinner…"

Vaughn laughed, "That's bad Syd."

"He knew I was kidding."

"So, what I am I a kid now?"

"No, of course not…I just bought a lot of stuff that would be easy for you to eat on your own, that's all."

"Syd, I was kidding…"

"Oh…sorry…well, I don't want you to feel like I'm treating you like a child Vaughn. You don't feel that way, do you?"

"Uh…I don't think children do, or they aren't supposed to be anyway, what we do a lot of nights," he stopped, "Nope…don't think I could ever feel like a kid when we do that…"

She smiled and kissed him.

"You know," he said, "you said 'we'll see' about the whole boxer issue, after Tom left...did you make up your mind?"

"Let's eat first, ok?"

"Sure!"

She laughed, "K, let me go see what we've got." She moved off the bed and called for Donovan to follow her. She filled his food and water dishes and then let him out in the backyard.

She then remembered her conversation with Brody and came back into the room, "Brody from the IT department says hi…"

"Cool…I haven't talked to him in awhile…"

"Yeah…he helped me hook up my computer to the CIA mainframe. He said yours already was…"

"Uh huh…I used to take files home…"

"Mission specs? Brody said," she explained.

He smiled, "Yes, Sydney, I used to take mission specs home on the missions you went on…"

She smiled and kissed him; "You're so sweet…" then got up and went back to the kitchen.


	78. Food For Thought

**Chapter 78: Food for Thought **

_"Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage." – Woody Allen _

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." – Mark Twain

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead." – Woody Allen

* * *

Sydney got to the kitchen and opened the cupboard doors.

She called to Vaughn, "Ok, we've got spaghetti, Mac & cheese, pizza, other noodle things," she said picking up several boxes, "sandwiches – uh…ham, turkey, bologna, tuna; let's see…cereal, oatmeal, rice, soup, pancakes, beef stew, potatoes," she moved to the refrigerator/freezer, "eggs, salad, there's hamburger – I could make you a burger, steak, fish, hot dogs, cheese fries – I did not buy those," she said when she heard him laugh from the bedroom, "Will's obviously been helping out…let's see…then we've got fruit and veggies, stuff like that…bagels, yogurt," she paused, saying the rest very quickly, "ice cream, pudding, Jell-O, fruit snacks, Popsicles – that's it."

He yelled from the bedroom, "What was all that last stuff? Was Will helping there too?"

She appeared in the doorframe, "Look, I got a little out of hand with my shopping – like I said, I wanted to find stuff you could eat on your own and snacks and stuff…so…I bought you junk…" she smiled.

"Thanks! Does this mean I can chips and beer too?"

"No," she said forcefully, "If you're a good boy, I might budge on the chips – but not the beer."

"Cool…soda?" he asked carefully.

"We'll see…"

"You said that about the boxer issue too – and I think I'm gonna win on that one…does that mean I'll win on the soda too?"

She smiled, "SO, what to you want for lunch?" averting his question.

"I think I've forgotten half of what you said, there was so much…"

"Well…do you feel like something hot or cold?"

"Definitely hot…like say, 98.6…"

She came in the room, "Hmm…what could be 98.6? Let me think…uh…" she put her finger by her chin.

He smiled, "How bout just a sandwich – that'll be fast…"

She smiled, "Why do you want a fast lunch?"

"Hmm," he said mimicking her finger on the chin move, "Let me think…"

She came over further and kissed him, "What kind of sandwich?"

"Turkey."

"With cheese?"

"Yeah."

"Mayo?"

"Yeah."

"Lettuce?"

"No."

"Tomato?"

"SYD! Come on…you're doing this on purpose now…"

She smiled, "I'll be back with your order sir."

"Yeah, make it snappy please."

"Nope, now it's gonna be really slow…"

She heard his groan as she went back to the kitchen.

She smiled as she entered with the tray of food.

When he saw it, he groaned again, "Syd, that's gonna take forever to eat…what'd you do, bring the whole kitchen? What the hell is half this stuff for?" he asked, moving a few items on the tray.

She laughed, "I have a better idea…"

"What's that?"

"You'll see…"

She set the tray on his lap and got onto the bed beside him. They both ate the sandwiches and then he was going to start on some of the other items on the tray.

"Not yet," she said.

He stopped, looking at her strangely.

She moved off the bed and took the tray off of his lap. She put the tray on the floor and moved the other items to the nightstand.

He watched her as she moved the food and then gave him a sideways glance.

"Oh boy…" he said.

She giggled, moving back to the bed, and took the sling off before taking the waistband of his boxers in her hands. She pulled on the elastic and then moved it over his hips and down his legs.

She stood and removed her clothes hastily, excited about what she had in store for him. She came back towards the bed, but moved to the foot of the bed and came at him on all fours.

She instantly noted the way his breathing hitched and then sped up. She touched his ankles, running her hands up and down his calves, before moving slightly higher to his knees. His cock was getting harder by the second and it twitched with every one of her touches. She traced the outline of his knees, making him smile.

"That tickles," he said, his voice low and hoarse.

"I know," she said, grinning and doing it again.

His knees moved outward, trying to get away from her sweet torture, but she moved higher than, past the knees to his lower thighs. She leaned down and kissed the inside of each one, making his cock bounce gently.

She planted her legs on the outside, on either side of his, so she controlled how far he could spread his legs.

She went higher still, kissing trails up his thighs, switching periodically to kiss the other thigh. She kissed around the whole hip area, but deliberately missed his erection.

"Syd…you're driving me insane," he moaned.

"I know…" she said smiling and continuing her assault upwards. She kissed his abdomen, first making one straight line up the middle, and then moved back down to kiss the sides, gently kissing where she knew the bandages would be if he weren't wearing the rib wrap.

She continued past the wrap, kissing her way all along the edge of where the wrap ended, and moving up to swirl her tongue around each of his nipples. She raked her fingernails lightly up his chest while continuing to lavish attention on the nipples, and his hips bucked upward, trying to find her opening.

She smiled, "Not yet."

He nodded but didn't respond vocally.

She moved up to his neck, kissing the spot she knew was sensitive and sucked his earlobe into her mouth. She could feel his erection nudging behind her and smiled.

She finally reached his face and kissed him ardently; their tongues dueling and licking any space they could find.

When they stopped momentarily, both were out of breath.

Sydney smiled at him and lowered herself to sit on his lower abdomen. She could feel his cock twitching behind her as it poked into her back.

She leaned over him, to the nightstand and grabbed one of the bowls she had prepared.

She laid it on his chest, careful that it wouldn't hurt him.

Vaughn looked down to see what she had picked up, "Strawberries?"

"Mmm hmm…" she said, taking one out and biting it.

"Where's the whipped cream?" he asked.

She reached over and grabbed another dish, tilting it so he could see inside. "Right here…" she said.

She dipped the strawberry into the whipped cream and finished it off, "You want one?" she said with a hint of mischief in her eye.

"Uh huh…" he said nodding softly.

She smiled, taking another strawberry and getting way too much whipped cream on it, moving it slowly towards his mouth. He smiled because he knew what she was going to do. She got to his upper chest and actually wiggled the strawberry in mid-air, causing a large glob of the cream to fall on his chest. She paid it no attention, however, and continued with the strawberry up to his mouth. Once it was close, she leaned down and put the end in her mouth, leaned over and kissed him. While it was rather difficult to actually kiss her with the strawberry between them, it was by far one of the most erotic things she'd ever done.

She smiled once they parted; he was still chewing the rest of the strawberry when she said, "Uh oh! Look what I did!"

He met her gaze, "I'm just gonna hafta clean that up, won't I?" she said innocently.

"So messy…" she mumbled as she leaned over again to clean him up. He wasn't really ready for what she did though and almost choked on the strawberry: just as she was sucking and licking the whipped cream off of his chest, she reached down with her hand and gripped his cock firmly.

His hips bucked up involuntarily, as a moan issued forth from him. She held her grip tightly through his bucking and continued until she had gotten all the cream off of his chest.

Then when she had finished, she let go of his cock and sat up again.

"More strawberries?" she said, completely calmly, as if the whole grabbing incident had not just transpired.

He moaned.

"I'll take that as a no…let's see what else we've got," she said sweetly as she put the bowls of strawberries and cream back and then rummaged for something else.

He was slowly coming back to his senses when he heard her say, "Ooo! This will be good too…"

He looked down to see that this time she had a bottle in her hands, "Oh God Sydney…that's gonna be so sticky…"

"Yup!" she said smiling as she turned the bottle over and drizzled a circular pattern of honey on his chest. She moved the bottle up, not stopping the flow of the honey, "Open your mouth," she said.

He obliged and she drizzled some in there too.

Then she set the honey back on the table and set to work cleaning it off his chest.

She ran her tongue for his mouth to his chin and down his neck, reaching his chest and moving to the side, just in enough time to catch a line that had been moving off of him and was dangerously close to falling on the bed.

"Mmm…" she said as she traced her way back across his chest to the other side.

He could feel the vibrations as she moved across his chest, and it was making his cock strain with need.

He shut his eyes tightly, "Syd…please…"

She stopped after cleaning him, looking up at his closed eyes and kissing him.

He opened his eyes.

"Soon," she said as she reached over for something else.

He groaned as her movement made her body brush against his already over sensitive cock.

She came back with another dish, but she didn't show him what was in it.

Instead she took the spoon, got some on it, and then proceeded to drop it on his chest.

"Jesus," he said, his whole body shuddering, "that's cold!"

She giggled, moving her mouth down to catch it before it dripped off of him and also adding warmth to his chest.

When she came back up, she still had the smile, and took the spoon again. He looked at her, challenging her to drop it again, but this time she moved it to his mouth and dropped it in there instead.

"It's a little melted," she said.

"Well…it's been sitting there long enough," he said trying to hint to her.

She smiled, "But chocolate ice cream is always good," she said, talking another bite for herself.

She put that back on the table and then reached for the last bowl. She tilted this one, showing him that it contained sliced apples and peaches and grapes.

She put the end of one of the apple slices in her mouth and leaned over, letting him take it. She waited until he swallowed and then did it with a peach slice as well. He was too busy concentrating on her moving towards him with the food to notice that she had moved herself off of his frame and was poised over his cock. She waited until her mouth was almost connected with hers and then let the fruit go, coming down hard on his cock at the same time.

He nearly choked again on the fruit, totally not expecting her to slam him inside her at that moment. He tried to chew but had to wait until he adjusted to the feeling of his over-teased cock being buried inside her warmth.  
He let out a guttural moan when he felt her squeeze him powerfully and then move. She smiled as she moved herself up and down on him. She had totally surprised him and loved that she had caught him unaware.

She slowed enough to let him swallow and then smiled down at him as she moved him in and out of her gently.

"That was so…uh…" he managed.

"I'm good, no need to tell me…"

"MEAN!" he said.

She giggled, "You know you loved it…you totally didn't even notice when I moved off of you!"

"I was a little preoccupied with what you were gonna do with the fruit…"

She smiled, "How are you enjoying your lunch so far, Mr. Vaughn?"

"The service was really slow…"

She stopped moving, gripping him tightly, "Oh really?"

He smiled; liking the feelings she was giving him with the constant pressure on his cock. After having her tease him that long, it felt wonderful to be sheathed so tightly.

"Well, then we should really speed it up," she said, starting her movements again, coming on and off of him must faster.

His hand moved to her hip, trying to grab onto something as she took him by surprise again. He was well on his way to release when she eased her movements again.

He looked up at her and she smiled evilly. She reached over to the table, "Fruit?" she said.

He groaned, "No…"

"Apple?"

"No."

"Peach?"

"No, the only peach I want right now is you!"

She giggled; "Well…this little peach wants a real one…" she reached into the bowl and got out a peach slice.

"Maybe if you help me eat the peach, things can move on at a quicker pace…"

She stayed where she was, sitting on his lap, feeling him deep inside her. She was hunched over slightly, but not enough that he wouldn't have to move.

Without thinking, he sat up slightly, and groaned at the new feelings that radiated from his groin to the rest of his body. He sat up until he was level with her and grabbed the half of the peach that she had left hanging out of her mouth.

He was rather satisfied that perhaps now they could move things along, but she stopped, smiling and running her hands through his hair.

"Do you realize you just sat up by yourself?" she asked, cupping his face in her hands.

He smiled, his face a vision of pleasure as he enjoyed the feelings of being fully inside of her, "Uh…no…I didn't," he said softly.

"I figured if I gave you a goal…" she smiled kissing him gently, "you're not hurting yourself are you?"

"Nope."

"Good…then move," she instructed, the smile becoming even larger.

He didn't need to be told twice, he held onto her lower back with his good hand, using it as leverage, and pushed up with his hips. Now it was her turn, as her eyes closed, feeling him slip out and in on his own accord.

She opened her eyes to find him watching her, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders. She leaned down and put her forehead against his.

"I missed this…" he said.

"I know baby," she replied, "Don't worry…you sat up now…that's a good step…it'll be soon…"

He nodded, going back to watching her face as it rippled with the emotions and sensations she was feeling.

All the teasing she had visited upon him was definitely affective; he was already close to coming.

He let go of her back, and her hands moved to his neck for support. He moved his hand down until it was just below the small patch of hair that rested above her folds and rubbed across her clit.

She bucked her hips forward, sending him even further inside her. She moaned and threw her head back as she felt the delicious ache of her cervix moving up to accommodate him.

He looked down to where they were joined, loving the vision of Sydney coming on and off of him. Call it ego or whatever you like, he loved watching himself as he moved in Sydney. He moved his gaze upward, reaching out his mouth to take a nipple in his mouth.

Her hands moved from his neck to the nape of his neck, hanging on as he brought her to the brink of ecstasy.

He moved to the other nipple, biting slightly, hard enough for her to notice, but not enough to cause her pain.

She moaned again as he sped up his motion on her clit, rubbing vigorously.

"Syd," he said, looking up at her face.

"Mmm?" she answered, bringing her gaze down to meet his. She saw the raw passion and love in his eyes, "You ok?" she asked, worried that this might be hurting him.

"Yeah…I'm close…"

"I know…me too…" she leaned down to capture his mouth in a fever-filled kiss.

He felt her tilt her hips and spasm violently around his throbbing cock.

She called out his name as she gripped him tightly.

He buried his face in her chest as he felt his own release explode, spilling himself inside her.

She held him close, feeling his body wracked with tremors and feeling the heat fill her walls. She eased him back onto the pillow, not wanting him to strain himself more that he probably already had. Once she had him lying prone on the bed, she let her grip on him lessen. She watched his face, still contorted with the last convulsions of climax. She smiled as his eyes opened, looking up at her with passion-drugged eyes.

"So…did you like our lunch?"

"Mmm…yeah…you could say that…"

"Good…" she smiled, touching his face, "You sat up all by yourself…" she said with wonderment.

"I had help…is it really that much of an accomplishment?"

"You're damn right it's an accomplishment!"

He smiled, "Thanks for the motivation."

"You're very welcome."

She lay her head on his chest and listened to the soft beating of his heart as they drifted off to a nap; he completely content, cradled in her warmth.


	79. Late Afternoon Plunge

**Chapter 79: Late Afternoon Plunge (Get your mind out of the gutter!) **

_"Like swift water an active mind never stagnates." – Author Unknown _

"I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." – Marcus, Babylon 5

"Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand-in-hand." – Unknown

* * *

Sydney woke slowly, yawning, and found her body completely relaxed. Vaughn was still inside her and she made no attempt to move; in fact she'd have been content to stay there forever. She knew he wouldn't have any complaints. 

She smiled as she thought about him, taking a risk, moving her head so she could look up at him. He was still napping peacefully, but he reacted to her movement by tightening the grip his arm held on her.

She watched him sleep, breathing deeply and heavily.

He'd been through do much; it was a wonder he slept at all…she thought.

She glanced at the clock on the nightstand, maneuvering slightly to see the clock around all of the food that was still lying there.

It was almost 4:00. Hmm…they had slept longer than she thought. She hated to rouse him, but if she didn't soon, Will and Francie would be home and they would find them in yet another compromising position. They teased them enough without an actual show.

She moved her hand up to stroke his cheek. She smiled when his mouth jerked slightly, but he didn't wake.

"Vaughn…" she said quietly.

"Mmmmmm…"

"Baby…we gotta get up…Will and Francie are gonna be home soon," she said trying to keep her voice low so she didn't startle him awake.

"Mmm hmm…"

She smiled, "Vaughn…come on…"

She moved slightly, about to get off of him, but his hand gripped her even tighter. His eyes shot open, "What? Where are we going?"

She chuckled, "Hey sleepy…I gotta get off you…we gotta move…Will, Fran…home soon."

He whined, "Aww come on…just a little longer…"

"Sorry honey, we gotta get cleaned up…you still smell like a mixture of fruit and honey…and the smell of sex looms in the air as well."

He laughed, "Well…at least they all go together…"

She smiled, moving off of him, "Come on…"

"Where are we going?"

"Oh…yeah…hmm…can't bring the bath to you…" she looked at him questioning.

"What?"

"Do you think we can get you to the bathroom?"

"Uh…"

"If you don't think so, I'll bring in a cloth and stuff…"

"We can try…"

"Only if you think you can – I know I made a big deal out of the sitting up, which was…but I don't want you to push yourself too much…"

"We can try Syd…that's about all I can say…"

"Ok," she said moving to help him sit up.

"How come I didn't get to sit up that time by myself?" he asked.

She smiled, "I still supported you the first time – it was just your own power…"

"I see…"

She helped him swing his legs over the edge of the bed and then moved to stand in front of him.

"We're gonna take this REALLY slow, ok?" she asked looking him in the eyes seriously.

"Yeah…I got it…"

"You don't have your sling on, so I'm gonna grab you around the waist, ok? Just do the same thing you would if you had it on."

"Ok."

She gripped him around the waist and pulled him gently as he pushed off with his feet. He stood in front of her, her arms still holding his waist.

"You ok?"

"I think so…so far so good…"

"Ok…if you get dizzy or sick or anything, tell me…and we'll get you back here…"

"Ok."

She took a step backwards, taking him with her. He looked down and that was a mistake.

She saw him do it though and moved one of her hands to his face, "Look at me…don't look at the floor…k?"

He nodded.

The only time she took her eyes off of his was when they had to maneuver through doors or around objects; otherwise, she made sure that he kept eye contact. As long as he didn't look at the passing scenery, he seemed to be ok. They moved slowly, deliberately and carefully to the bathroom.

Sydney sighed a huge sigh of relief when the actually reached the bathroom, "Ok…good…that was really good," she said as she deposited him in the chair next to the tub, "I was really worried that we'd wind up in a heap on the floor and Will and Francie would come in to find our naked forms struggling there."

He smiled softly, "Does it scare you to be alone with me?"

"What? What do you mean? I'm not scared of you," she said squatting in front of him.

"No, that's not what I asked…I know you're not scared OF me…I want to you know if it scares you to be with me ALONE…like moving me and stuff…does that scare you?"

She thought a moment, looking up at him, "No…I'm not scared to be alone with you…I get scared if we do something like this…when I don't know if you're ready…but I'm not scared to be left alone with you…"

She touched his face, "Why do you ask?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I just wondered sometimes if you get scared when we're alone…if something happened to me or something."

"Of course I worry that something might happen to you, but it doesn't like constantly torment me or anything. I'm perfectly fine with being alone with you – I guess I'm just apprehensive when we do new stuff. Is this because I made that joke about Will and Francie coming home to find us on the floor?"

"Kind of…but I've been wondering for awhile."

"How long?"

He shrugged again, but she knew.

"Since the night you had the fever?"

He met her gaze, but he didn't answer.

She nodded, "I'm sorry Vaughn…listen…let me get the bath water started, then we'll talk, ok?"

He nodded.

She moved to the tub and turned the water on, then came back to him, and took off the ankle wrap and the rib wrap, and then proceeded to start to take the bandages off. She started on his back and got all the small ones off, and left the large, infected one for the moment. She moved to the front and took off all of the ones save the one that had the tape marks.

She moved back to the tub then, leaving him somewhat confused as to why she hadn't taken the other two off.

Once she was satisfied that the water was the correct temperature, she came back and offered Vaughn a hand. He took it and then she moved to help him stand again.

"Uh, Syd…"

"Yeah?" she said as she started to move him towards the tub.

"Don't these two have to come off?"

She smiled, "They will…" She sat him on the edge of the tub and ran off suddenly, coming back with the Cavilon Film. She moved to the closet and got out a bunch of towels and a washcloth. Then she moved behind him, dipped the cloth in the water and gently prodded the edge of the bandage with the infection. Once she had it up, she removed it gently and then examined the wound. Sydney couldn't notice any change, but it didn't seem any worse. She brought the cloth up to the wound and placed it gently on a section of the wound, waiting for Vaughn's reaction.

He pulled away slightly.

"You ok?"

"Yeah…it just pulled a little bit…"

"Sorry honey," she said covering the area around the wound with kisses.

He sighed, "S'alright…"

"I think it's ok…Tom said the stuff lasts for 72 hours, so you should be good for the tub…"

She grabbed him under the arms for support as he swung his legs into the water. Then she gently eased him down.

"Syd…the other one…"

"S'ok…" she said smiling and settling in behind him in the tub.

He leaned back into her waiting embrace and she reached under his arms so she could reach the other bandage.

She easily pulled the bandage and the tape off, "There," she said happily.

She could see the smile from behind him as she discarded the wet bandage.

"I figured that would be easier – and more effective…less painful…"

"You're a genius," he said.

"So I'm told…" she teased.

They spent a while just sitting, soaking in the tub.

Sydney picked up the washcloth and rung it out so the water ran over his chest. He sighed contentedly and his head lowered down onto her shoulder. She placed a gentle kiss on his temple.

"You wanna talk now?" she asked quietly.

He didn't say anything, so she decided just to continue, speaking softly, just above a whisper, right next to his ear, "That night…was a mistake…I was scared because you were sick…I wasn't scared to be with you…or really even because you were sick. I was scared because I didn't want to screw up…I didn't want to do something wrong. That's why I get scared, it really has nothing to do with you at all…I'm never scared to be alone with you – I love you…the thought of being alone isn't what worries me…it's what could happen to you…and that I might be powerless to stop it. What grates my cheese even more, is that I was already powerless to stop this from happening in the beginning, and that I might be the reason you get hurt now…does that make sense?"

"Yeah…it makes sense…Sydney, I know I sound like a broken record, but I don't want to be a problem…I don't want to make your life harder than it already is…"

"You're not…believe me…I love just being home with you…and I love taking care of you…and I love what we do…"

He smiled.

"Ok?"

"Yeah…"

"Is that all that's bothering you, or is there something else," she asked, running a hand through his hair.

He smiled again, "I'm kinda leery…"

"Of Barnett?" she asked knowingly.

"Yup."

"Don't be honey, she told me…she has no intention of taking you from the house…those were her exact words."

"Well that doesn't mean she won't…"

"Well, no, but really…I trust her Vaughn…I really just thinks she wants to help…try not to let it bother you…"

She pushed him up slightly, "Let's wash your hair, k?"

He nodded and hummed while she moved in gentle circles over his head. She rinsed the soap out and then grabbed the bar of soap, lathering her hands and massaging her way over his neck and shoulders, down his back and then around his chest and abdomen. She moved out from behind him and settled him back against the tub gently, and then sat in front of him to wash his legs and other areas that had gotten a work out today.

She smiled as she came into contact with his cock, which was semi-erect from all her touching.

He smiled back, "You're so beautiful Sydney…I love you so much…"

She smiled and moved between his legs to kiss him, "I love you too…and you're equally as beautiful."

He smiled and went back to watching her lather him up before washing herself too. She did her arms and legs and her hair, all with his watchful eye on her. She noticed that his cock had gotten harder too.

"C'mere…" he said.

She turned around so her back was facing him and he held out his hand. She lathered up her own hands and then deposited the soap in his hand. He smiled because he didn't have to tell her what he was thinking. He washed her back for her and then surprised her by pulling her back against him. She didn't want to hurt him and turned her head, but the look he gave her told her that he was fine. She settled back into his arms as he washed her stomach and neck and then moved down to wash her breasts. She moaned as his soapy hands played over her nipples, pulling them slightly, as the slipped through the sudsy fingers. His head dropped to her neck, kissing and nipping until he reached her ear, darting his tongue out into the crevices and sucking the lobe into his mouth.

She had to admit, her center sure liked the idea of having hot bath sex, but she knew that Will and Francie would be home any minute.

She groaned out in a whisper, "Vaughn…we have to stop…Will…Francie…"

"So?"

"Home soon," she said.

"Don't care," he replied.

She smiled, "I know…but I didn't shut the door…"

"Well…go shut it…" he offered.

"No, honey, we have to get out of the tub…"

"Why…" he whined.

"Because…"

"That's not an adequate answer…" he said nipping her neck until she moaned.

"Really…honey…later…we can finish later…"

"Finish now," he said.

"How about I help you finish…" she asked.

"Inside you…" he breathed.

She couldn't stop thinking about his damn mouth on her neck, so she caved, "Ok."

She turned around in his embrace with lightening speed and mounted him before he had a chance to say another word. She was full of surprises today, he thought, and he arched his hips so hard that she had to catch him before he slipped under water.

She smiled after she grabbed him, bringing him closer to her.

"You're just one big surprise today, aren't you?" he asked, echoing his thought from a moment ago.

"That's me…" she said pushing on him quickly.

She knew that it wouldn't take long if she kept up this pace, plus they really needed to get out of the tub, so as much as she hated to admit it, the sooner the better.

She ground her hips into him, and squeezed her muscles around his throbbing cock, sending him deeper inside. She leaned over slightly and reached her hand behind her, taking his balls in her hand and massaging them. His eyes shot over to meet hers, as he groaned and lost himself, coming hard inside her. She followed after feeling his balls tense and his cock lurch inside her.

His let his head fall back to the edge of the tub, "Jesus Sydney…"

She smiled, "Well I had to get you to come quickly some how…"

"That was a great way," he admitted.

She smiled and got off of him, washing them both once again and then moved out of the tub and threw on her robe.

She started letting the water out of the tub when she heard the door open and she gave Vaughn an 'I told you so,' look.


	80. Seaweed and Lacerations

**Chapter 80: Seaweed and Lacerations **

_"If I had my life to live over I'd like to make more mistakes next time. I'd relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual trouble, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd have more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter that I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies." – Nadine Stair _

"If you do not understand your friend under all conditions you will never understand him." – Kahlil Gibran

* * *

Sydney quickly made herself look presentable and went out into the kitchen, shutting the door to give Vaughn some privacy while he waited. She followed the sound of Will and Francie's voices. 

"Hey guys," she said.

They both turned and Will raised his eyebrow, "Shower?" he asked.

Francie smiled, "Hey Syd."

"Bath actually, and I'm really glad you're home…cause I got Vaughn in there but I had no idea how I was gonna get him out."

"Sure…let's go."

Sydney turned and smiled on her way back to the bathroom. They may have known what they just got done doing, but she was damn proud of the cover up she had just pulled off.

Sydney pushed the door open to find Vaughn relaxing and looking quite satisfied in the now empty tub.

She grabbed his robe from off of the hook on the wall and Will came in and helped her get him onto the ledge of the tub.

After that, he left, saying he was gonna help Fran with supper and let Sydney do her thing with the bandages and towels before he'd come back.

"So, do they suspect?" Vaughn asked.

"Well…yeah, I think you'd have to be a moron not to figure it out, especially with the total satisfied grin you have on your face."

"Hey!"

She smiled, "But I think I did a good cover up job."

She helped him sit on the chair and then grabbed some towels, drying him off. She next made him turn in the chair so she could reapply the bandages to his back. She did all of the other smaller ones first, then moved to the larger wounds. Once done with those, she examined the infected wound, checking the state of the Cavilon; some of it seemed to have come off in the bath, so she applied a little more and then covered the wound with the TAD. She smiled as she remembered Tom's "professional" lecture.

After finishing with his back, she had him turn again so she could dress the wounds on his chest and abdomen. She reapplied dressings to all of the surgical incisions and cuts and saved the one with the tape irritation for last. She applied some of the Cavilon all around the wound and affected red areas and then applied a new bandage. Lastly, she rewrapped his ribs and ankle. She helped him into the robe and then she stepped back, admiring her handiwork and gave an approving nod.

He smiled, "Thanks Syd."

"Anytime honey," she responded with a kiss.

She was about out the door to get Will again when she poked her head back in, "You're doing better without the oxygen too you know…"

He smiled, "That I have noticed…but it's not all the time…I think the steam in here helps…"

"I know…but it's still beginning to be noticeable." She gave him another nod and then went off in search of Will.

Will came back and they moved Vaughn into the bedroom, where Will left dutifully again and Sydney set to dressing Vaughn. It was so late anyway, and they'd both had baths, that she dressed herself in her pajamas. She then moved over to help him, "You wanna put your pj's on too?"

"Sure…"

She smiled, having already planned to make sure she had hers on first, just so he wouldn't get the wrong idea.

She helped him into a comfortable pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt and then got Will again.

Will helped them out to the couch and went back to the kitchen again.

Sydney got up and went to the fireplace, "Is it ok if I start a fire Vaughn?" she asked.

"It's you house Syd…" he reminded her.

She went back to him, "No, this is our house…it's your house now too…"

He smiled.

"Is it ok if I start a fire or would you prefer that I didn't?"

"I have enough good fires to think about Syd…if that's what your worried about…start it."

"Ok," she said smiling.

He watched as she started getting it going, admiring the view of her more than anything else. She turned once she had it going and noticed him watching her.

"You checking out my ass Vaughn?"

"Yes I am," he admitted proudly.

She smiled moving towards him, the fire behind her.

He sighed, "That's a sight to behold," he said.

"What's that?"

"How could I ever think about torture when you're walking through the fire for me?"

She smiled widely and captured his mouth in a kiss.

"Ugh! Is that all you two do? Seriously, don't you ever get enough of each other? The bath tub, here, probably in bed earlier…Jesus…get a room!" Will said dropping their plates off and moving to go back in the kitchen. Before he left he added, "Please! Get it out of your systems before I come back again!"

Sydney and Vaughn broke out in a series of giggles that just wouldn't seem to stop and when they heard Will and Francie coming again, she pushed Vaughn down on the couch further and attacked his mouth, his hand roaming her ass.

"Oh come on!" Will exclaimed, "now that's just uncalled for!"

Sydney and Vaughn parted laughing and Francie started in with the giggles too.

Vaughn said after everyone had calmed down, "You know Will, I don't…"

"Don't what?" he asked.

"I don't ever get enough of Sydney…I don't think it's possible." Sydney leaned over and cupped his face, kissing him sweetly.

Francie said, "Aww…" then she turned and smacked Will on the arm hard.

"OW! What the hell was that for?" he said rubbing the spot where she had hit him.

"How come you never talk to me like that?"

"Oh come on! I cannot win!"

Vaughn and Sydney just giggled harder again.

They finally all settled down enough to start eating.

"This is really great Francie," Sydney said taking another bite of her dinner.

"Mmm…yeah…" Vaughn agreed through his mouthful.

"Thanks," she said, "You two seem especially hungry tonight…"

Vaughn smiled as Sydney coughed.

"Yeah…we had to start my exercises again today…"

Sydney coughed again.

"You ok Syd?" Francie asked.

Sydney held up her hand, "Fine."

"What else did you guys do today?"

"Oh…" Sydney said, realizing, "Tom stopped by today…"

"Really?" Will asked.

Francie echoed, "What for?"

Sydney looked to Vaughn for permission, and he nodded.

Francie and Will looked at each other worriedly and then back at the other couple.

"Tom stopped by because one of Vaughn's wounds got infected…"

"What?" Francie asked exasperatedly.

Will echoed the tone, "How'd that happen?"

Sydney smiled at their concern, "Well, it just kind of happens…it's not because of something we did or didn't do…bacteria just gets in the wounds sometimes…"

"Aw, that sucks man," Will said looking to Vaughn.

Francie was a little more feminine, "Does it hurt?" she asked looking at Vaughn as well.

He nodded but took another bite as Sydney smiled at him sadly.

Will looked hesitant to continue, but did anyway, "Is…uh…is it like…bad?"

Sydney placed a hand on Vaughn's chest, "Well, it's not good, but it could have been worse."

Vaughn added, "Sydney caught it before it got really bad."

She smiled, "So, it's not systemic – it's not in his bloodstream – no antibiotics."

He nodded, "But I have this really cool stuff that Sydney puts on it…it's like this invisible film stuff and then I have a seaweed bandage now," he said nonchalantly as he ate another bite.

Francie looked at Will, "Did I hear you correctly?" she asked the other couple.

Sydney started to chuckle, "Yeah…you heard right…"

Will looked positively bewildered, "You have seaweed for a bandage?"

Sydney out rightly laughed, "It's a bandage made from seaweed, not a bandage of seaweed."

Vaughn laughed with her, "Sorry, I should have been more clear."

"Ok, cause that would be just strange…" Will said.

"Can I see it?" he added after a few more minutes.

Vaughn's eyes met his and Sydney chuckled. Francie smacked him again.

"What?" he asked; "Is that like really morbid or something?"

Vaughn smiled while the girls groaned, "God Will!" Francie said.

"What! I'm a guy, ok?"

Francie just groaned.

Will looked to Sydney and Vaughn.

"Why do you want to see it?" Sydney asked.

"I guess, more than anything…I'm curious…I really don't think I've seen the…injuries…any of them…not really…just glimpses…"

Vaughn looked at him strangely, "Why would you want to see something like that?"

"They aren't exactly pretty Will," Sydney offered.

"No, I know…I don't know…forget I said anything…" he said returning his head to the plate.

"No, Will…I guess Vaughn and I just don't understand…"

Will shrugged.

Sydney looked to Vaughn and he answered her with his eyes, "I have to change the bandage before we go to bed, you can look at it then, ok?"

"I don't have to…I…I don't know…"

"No, it's ok Will," Vaughn offered, "you can."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"What?"

"Having me look at them?"

"Why should it?"

"I don't know…"

"Well it would bother me to have just anyone look at them, but not you…if you really want to…"

Will nodded and they all went on eating, talking about other things.

Will and Francie cleaned up and Sydney looked at Vaughn, "What do you think that was about?"

"Don't know…maybe he is just curious…"

"Why though? I mean…torture wounds aren't something that most people have a fascination with…"

Vaughn shrugged.

They didn't have any more time to discuss it though, because Will and Francie came back in.

They watched a movie on TV and talked more than watched it.

Before any of them knew it, it was well past 11:00.

Sydney said, "Vaughn, we should get to bed…Barnett's coming tomorrow."

"Ok," he said and Will and Sydney moved him to the bed.

Sydney looked at Will, "I'll call you when we're ready, ok?"

"Sure…" he said, "I'm just gonna take Donovan out and then I'll be back, ok?"

"Uh huh…"

Will walked out and Sydney and Vaughn set to work getting him ready for the bandage changing.


	81. Seeing is Believing

**Chapter 81: Seeing is Believing **

_"Perhaps the sea's definition of a shell is the pearl. Perhaps time's definition of coal is the diamond." – Kahlil Gibran _

"Your saying to me, 'I do not understand you,' is a praise beyond my worth, and an insult you do not deserve." – Kahlil Gibran

"No law or ordinance is mightier than understanding." – Plato

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them." – Galileo Galilei

"When we talk about understanding, surely it takes place only when the mind listens completely-- the mind being your heart, your nerves, your ears- when you give your whole attention to it." – J. Krishnamutri

* * *

Sydney looked over at Vaughn, "You sure you're ok with this?" she asked.

"Yeah…it's ok…"

"Ok…"

Sydney removed Vaughn's shirt, but left everything else in place. She handed him a glass of water and his last pills of the night and then sat down next to him on the bed to wait for Will.

He poked his head in a few minutes later, "You guys decent?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're not THAT bad," Sydney said.

"You are too…" Will kidded.

"Well, yeah…but not right now," she said sweetly.

She turned serious, "You ready?"

"Yeah…" Will said.

"Ok…" Sydney said, moving over to Vaughn and letting Will stand where ever he wanted.

Sydney took the rib wrap off and set it on the nightstand.

Will inhaled a breath when he saw all the bandages on the front of Vaughn and he could see the white patches all over his back too.

Sydney and Vaughn didn't really seem to notice. Sydney was too involved in what she was doing, and Vaughn was too involved in the process.

She eased him back on to the pillow, changing the bandages on his chest and abdomen first.

She looked over at Will, "You know if you really want to see…you're gonna hafta come closer than that Will."

He smiled apprehensively; "Yeah…" he moved closer to look over Sydney's shoulder as she worked.

"Do you want me to tell you we're doing?"

He shook his head, but didn't say anything.

"Ok…first we have to take off the rib wrap, which basically supports Vaughn's ribs so it's easier for him to breathe…it takes off the pressure from his lungs too…then we start with the bandages. I usually start with the ones on his chest, just because now, they're the easier ones to do…"

She grabbed the cloth she had sitting on the nightstand explaining, "Lately, with some of the wounds, the tape has been irritating his skin, so it causes him less pain if I use the washcloth."

She gently pried up the end of the tape.

Francie stuck her head in the doorframe, "Are they really gory?" she asked.

Sydney and Will turned and Vaughn looked between them over at the door.

"Well, they aren't scrapes," Vaughn said.

Francie came into the room, taking Will's hand. He held on tight, but he wasn't sure it was for her sake or his own.

"What did I miss?" Francie asked.

Will fielded the question, "First Syd takes the rib wrap off," he motioned to it on the nightstand, "that supports his ribs and takes the pressure off of his lungs…then she starts with the bandages on his chest, cause they're easier…she's using a washcloth so it doesn't hurt so much – the tape's irritating."

Sydney smiled, "Well…someone's been paying attention!"

Will smiled.

"I'm gonna keep going here…" Sydney informed them as she went back to her task with the washcloth.

She peeled the edge up and began to pull the bandage off. "Ok guys, this is gonna be the first wound you see…" she warned looking at them both.

Francie looked kind of scared, and Will's look was one of curiosity and fear all mixed into one.

"This is a surgical incision," she said as she peeled away the last bit of the bandage, "I'm really not going to change all of the bandages – because they only need to be changed once a day now, but there are a few I have to check more often…the ones irritated by the tape and the one that's infected."

Will leaned closer to get a good look at the wound. He tilted his head to see the whole view. Sydney backed up to get the Cavilon and then came back, with that and a fresh bandage in her hand.

Francie looked over Will's shoulder, not really certain she wanted to see it.

Once she saw it, she said, "It just looks like a stitched wound…like a cut…"

Sydney smiled, "Yep, this one does…that's what most of the incisions look like, because they were just surgical cuts…"

She took the foam applicator and touched up a few of the spots she missed after his bath.

"What's that?" Will asked.

"This is Cavilon™ No Sting Barrier Film, it protects the wound and also helps with the tape irritation…it's like an invisible band-aid – it keeps contaminants out but still allows the wounds to breath and ooze if they need to."

"Ooze?" Francie said hesitantly.

"We'll get to that," Sydney answered, "we're just using this for the tape irritation…this wound isn't infected."

She finished with the Cavilon and then placed a new gauze pad over the wound.

"Ok…now…we're ready to move on to your back," she said addressing Vaughn.

He nodded and helped her to sit him up.

Once he was sitting, Sydney moved to sit behind him. The other two occupants inched closer to Sydney.

"Ok, I'm gonna check a few of the smaller burns – tape irritation, before I go onto the infected one…"

They nodded and Sydney took a few of the smaller bandages off.

Francie gripped Will's hand tighter as Sydney removed a few of the small bandages.

Will looked at Vaughn's profile to check for a reaction, but there wasn't one.

Sydney grabbed the first aid cream from the nightstand and placed a small amount, gently, on each one of the burns.

"Why do those get the cream?" he asked.

Sydney continued to concentrate of the wounds, and didn't look up, but said, "Because these are burns…they'll heal faster with the burn cream…"

Francie was trying to bite her tongue, and fight back the anger that was threatening to rise in her, "What kind of person would do that?" she said, but it wasn't really a question.

Neither Vaughn nor Sydney cared to answer that question.

Sydney finished with the cream and then applied some of the Cavilon before placing new bandages over the burns.

"Ok," she started, "now comes the really good one…"

Sydney took the cloth and prodded the edge.

Vaughn moved and said, "Mmph…"

She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Easy honey…I'm sorry…" she said softly shaking her head.

Francie was practically wrapped in Will's arms; she was hiding her eyes with her hands. Will was completely silent, just taking in the whole scene.

Sydney got the edge of the bandage off and then slowly peeled. She would have warned her friends a little more, but the wound seemed so sensitive, that she was too worried about Vaughn to worry about their reactions.

Tom had been right, the TAD bandage came off much easier than a regular bandage and it didn't stick to the wound, but that didn't change the fact that the wound was still oozing, and that stuck to the bandage…so either way, it was going to cause Vaughn pain.

His eyes were closed tightly, his right hand gripping the sheet as Sydney peeled it off.

Will's eyes were transfixed on the bandage being peeled; he really had no idea what would be underneath.

Nothing prepared him for the sight underneath the bandage.

Francie moved a few fingers, peeking out, and let out a cry and followed it with, "Oh my God…" when she saw the wound as well.

Sydney could tell by the way Vaughn's shoulders were tensed that this was not a pleasant experience, "I'm sorry honey," she said, "just a few more seconds and I'll have it off…"

She didn't want to pull off anything that was needed for the wound to heal, but she wanted to end his suffering as soon as possible.

Francie moved out of the room, but no one seemed to notice. Will stayed firmly planted in his spot, his eyes trained on the wound in front of him.

She finally got the whole bandage off and set it aside. She checked it; it didn't look good, but once again, it didn't look any worse. If she had to pick one word to describe it, the word would have been: painful.

She grabbed the washcloth and dabbed over the wound, trying to get some of the puss off of it.

Vaughn groaned and moved away.

"I'm sorry baby," she said quietly.

She checked the Cavilon, which seemed to be intact and doing its job and then grabbed another one of the TAD bandages.

"Is that the seaweed one?" Will asked, finding his voice.

Sydney nodded, applying the pad gently, but it still made Vaughn groan again.

Once she had the pad secured, then she continued telling Will about it, "Yeah, it's made from Scottish seaweed. Basically, it's just more absorbent than regular bandages…so it like, sucks up all the oozy stuff, and it doesn't stick to the wound as much."

Will made a face and then asked quietly, "…was that from a whip?"

Sydney moved around him to get the rib wrap and answered shortly, "Yes."

Will watched her again as she eased the wrap over Vaughn's ribs, and noted that thankfully, the wrap didn't seem to come up to height of the infected wound.

Sydney grabbed Vaughn's tee shirt and then carefully reclined him on the pillow, positioning him again so the wound was not pressed into the pillow.

She touched his face, tracing his cheek and he smiled weakly.

"You look tired again baby," she noted, pulling the covers up as far as they would reach with him sitting up.

She placed the sling on his arm again and then seemed to finally realize that they were missing someone.

"Where's Francie?" she asked, looking at Will.

"She…uh…she left…I think it was a little much."

A moment later, Francie reentered the room, looking sheepishly at the other occupants, "I'm sorry…I want to apologize," she said taking a spot at Will's side.

Vaughn looked over and waved his hand, "There's no need to apologize…they aren't very nice to look at…"

"No, I want to…" Francie said, "I want you to know that I didn't leave because of you…or really because of the wound…I really needed to leave before I hit something…seeing that…finally, really knowing what you went through…I had to get out…"

Vaughn nodded.

Will continued, "I guess that's why I asked to see it too…I wanted to understand," he said looking at Vaughn. "It's not the same to be told…and I don't mean it to sound like I didn't believe you were tortured or anything, but if you see it for yourself, then…well…then there aren't any more questions…I mean…I still have questions…" he trailed off, not knowing what else he wanted to say.

"I really have to say though," he added, "my respect for you has shot through the roof Vaughn. I wouldn't have survived that…I really admire you…"

"Me too," Francie echoed.

Sydney smiled, "Me too…" she said smiling at Vaughn.

Vaughn was trying to keep his composure, but he was failing miserably. His brow furrowed and he said hoarsely, "Well…I don't feel very strong…and I sure didn't then either…"

Sydney moved to sit beside him and Francie sat down on the edge of the bed. Will stayed standing but moved closer to the bed.

"Listen," Francie started, "it isn't about feeling strong…does anyone? It's about getting up again…even when you don't feel strong enough to do it."

Will added, "It's about not letting them keep you there…"

"Yeah, well…I don't have a lot to do with that either," Vaughn said looking at Sydney.

She smiled and took his hand, "I'm just moral support…you do most of it on your own…"

"That's a crock!" he said, chuckling slightly.

"You could have just given up Mike," Will reminded him, "but you didn't."

"Well, I wanted to, but I knew Sydney would kick my ass…"

She gripped his hand tighter, "It's not a matter of why you didn't give up; it's just the simple fact that you didn't give up…that's enough…" She leaned over, kissing him.

Francie kissed him on the cheek and Will gave his arm a reassuring squeeze.

Will smiled, "Plus, now you have us too…" he said motioning to Francie and himself, "and we'll kick your ass too…just so you know…"

Vaughn smiled, but pretty much lost it after that, and the three moved closer for one big group hug.

When they parted, Vaughn chuckled, "Well, that was corny…" but everyone could tell by the look he gave them that he had enjoyed every second of it.


	82. The Unattainable Angle

**Chapter 82: The Unattainable Angle****  
**

_"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." – Woody Allen_

"When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is any thing you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it." – Edgar Watson Howe

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love." – Sophocles

* * *

After the hug, Sydney wanted to get Vaughn settled.

"Ok, Tom said you should try to lay at a different angle…so the pressure stays off of that wound…"

"Yeah…"

She looked to Will, "Can you stay a minute? In case I need help moving him?"

"Yeah, of course," Will said. Francie and he backed up to give her room to maneuver Vaughn.

"Ok…let's try…" she looked at him, "let's try having you lay on your left side first."

He nodded wearily and she moved to help him. She pushed the covers down so they wouldn't get tangled in his legs and grabbed onto his right arm so he could have some leverage to move. He wound up lying on his left side largely by himself, but Sydney still had his arm, so not all of his weight was on his side yet.

She gave him a look, asking for permission to let go and when she got it, she tried to let him down as slowly as possible. As soon as she let go completely, his eyes shut tightly and his face contorted in a grimace.

"Ahh…" he groaned as pain shot through him, "sh…shoulder…" he got out.

Sydney instantly grabbed his arm again, relieving some of the pressure on his shoulder.

"Ok…not a good angle," she said, helping him into the sitting position again.

Will and Francie exchanged worried glances, but held their tongues.

"Right side?" Sydney asked cautiously.

He nodded again wearily and reclined more on the bed, hissing in a moment of pain when he pressed his infected back into the bed too hard. Sydney's eyes filled with concern, but she realized it was his back and grabbed his arm again, tilting him upward so his back would avoid contact with the bed. She then helped him get on his right side. He winced again as a different kind of pain radiated from his side and chest, "Ah God…" he moaned. Sydney was there again instantly, helping him to the upright position.

She looked down at him, worry again evident as she watched him struggling.

He was slightly out of breath and she could tell that the pain medication was not helping the situation much, because agony was written all over his face. A light sheen of sweat had broken out on his forehead, and she realized that he was overexerting himself here. She reached for the washcloth and went to the bathroom, rinsing it off and then came back to wipe his face off. His cheeks were flushed and he breathed a sigh of relief when the cool material soothed his hot skin. She took extra time trying to soothe him, running the cloth over and over his face, trying to erase or at least alleviate some of his discomfort.

His breathing was still labored and when he finally looked over at her, she could see that this was taking its toll. It was no wonder he slept so much, when simple movement still caused him this much pain. He looked tired and fed up with the whole ordeal; she could tell this was going to be one of those frustrating moments for him.

She cupped his chin, and made him look at her, "Hey…just go easy on yourself, ok? Let's not get discouraged…we'll try something else…"

He nodded, but didn't respond.

"Ok…let's strategize…" she started, thinking, "we've tried both sides, and those are out…back is also out for now…our other options are stomach and…well…sitting up…but that's not going to be very comfortable."

He looked at her fatigued, but he didn't make any suggestions or alternatives.

"Stomach?" she asked quietly, "You wanna try that one yet?"

He nodded.

"How should we do this? What side do you want to turn on to get to your stomach?"

He debated a moment, before saying, "I guess…right…"

"Ok," she said moving to grab his arm and ease him onto his side. He reacted similarly, groaning and in obvious pain over being on his side. She reached around him and tried to be as gentle as possible when she grabbed his sides to flip him on his stomach. She eased him down on the bed, his head turned to the side, facing left, away from Will and Francie.

He pushed his head up using his forehead and changed the direction of his face, but that didn't help. He moaned again pushing his head up again and finally wound up pressing his forehead into the pillow in agony.

Sydney moved once again, "Vaughn…oh honey…" she said turning him over and cradling his head in her arms.

"That one's no good either, huh?" she asked in a soothing voice.

He shook his head fervently, and she noticed that his breathing was really labored.

He confirmed that with rasping out, "Can't…breathe…"

"Ok," she said, "It's ok…" she rubbed her hand gently up and down his chest, "we'll figure something else out."

He relaxed into her arms, just happy that he wasn't in pain at the moment, and savoring the comfort that Sydney provided.

Once he was calmed down, she prodded, "We should really try another way Vaughn."

She eased him upright again and sat back, trying to figure something out.

"Well…why don't we…" but she trailed off.

He sighed annoyingly, "Just forget it Syd…just leave me here…"

"That won't be very comfortable…"

"Well, I'm not comfortable anyway…so what does it matter?"

She sighed, realizing that he might have reached his limit for the night.

"Vaughn," she started.

"Don't," he stated flatly.

Sydney looked to Will and Francie who had been watching the whole scene, feeling the agony of the couple, but unable to help.

They looked unsurely between themselves and Sydney and didn't know what to do.

"Maybe we should just let you guys work this out," Will said, and he and Francie walked out quietly.

"What was that about?" Sydney asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"It's just pointless…it doesn't matter…I should just lie on my back and be done with it," he said huffily.

"Vaughn, you know you can't…it'll just wind up making the infection worse…"

"What does it matter?"

"How can you say that?" she asked, her voice rising slightly.

"You know what?" he said, "It's a whole hellava lot different from where I'm sitting here Syd. It's real easy for you to tell me it's gonna be alright and that I shouldn't get discouraged, and Tom can tell me all he wants not to get discouraged, but that's a bunch of crap. That's all it is…crap! It's easy to tell someone not to be discouraged when they can go and do all the s they want to, when sitting up doesn't make them feel like s. Don't get frustrated? I can't even get up to go to the bathroom by myself! I can't make love to you, I can't do ANYTHING! What the f am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? Everyone tells me I can feel any way I want, well, then I'm gonna feel discouraged and frustrated goddamnit! I don't really care if the infection gets worse, it's not like I'm not gonna be in pain if it's not infected…pain's all I know anyway…why shouldn't I embrace it! At least I'd be able to breathe and have a semblance of relief, but NO! we gotta f with that too!" He stopped, breathing heavily and looking extremely fatigued, his head plopping back against the pillow, letting out a deep breath.

Sydney stood in a state of surprise at his outburst. He was normally so controlled, and she had a flash of the story his mother had told her about pee-wee hockey…he'd just exploded now…this must have been bottling up for a while now, she thought.

"Vaughn…" she started again, but he looked up at her and the look in his eyes dared her to say something more. She decided that the less said, the better at the moment.

She also realized that she was rather angry with him, "You know what Vaughn? I sit here every day too…I see what you go through…and while I don't have a first-hand account of what goes on in your mind or I don't experience your pain first-hand, I'm still here…I'm only trying to help…" she said and then walked out of the room.

Vaughn watched her go and felt instantly horrible. He breathed deeply for a minute, trying to get his breathing back to a normal level. He wanted to call out to her, to make her come back, but he was too tired to do anything else but rest at the moment.

He lay quietly, thinking, and before he knew it, his head was starting to drop. His eyelids fluttered closed and his head fell slightly forward, slowly falling further until his chin almost rested on his chest.

Sydney stormed out of the room and she stalked into the kitchen looking for a glass of water.  
Francie and Will looked at her uncertainly from the living room. She grabbed her glass and plopped herself into a chair next to the couch where they were sitting.

"You ok?" Francie asked.

"Yeah…" Sydney said smiling.

"What was that all about?" Will asked.

"He's just frustrated…I'm surprised he hasn't done that before…I think it's been coming for a while now."

"Is he ok?" Francie asked.

"I think so…"

"Is he awake?" she asked as well.

"What I walked out he was…"

Francie looked at her strangely, "You left him alone?"

"Yeah…he was being obstinate…I had to get out of there for a minute…"

Neither Will nor Francie commented.

"You think that was mean…" Sydney said, but it wasn't a question.

"No," Francie said, "it's just…well…he's been through so much…I mean I'd be a hellava lot more pissed off that he is…seems pretty natural to get angry like that…"

"So I should have stayed to have him yell at me some more?"

"If that's what he needed…"

"Why do I have to be the one he needs to yell at?" she said but instantly regretted it.

Will fielded that one, "Syd…come on…you're like the only one he talks to. What is he gonna blow up at me and Fran? I think the better question is, why are you taking it as a personal attack? He was just venting I think."

"You know what Will, you go in there and he can yell at you and then we can have this conversation."

Will remained calm, "He's not yelling at YOU Sydney…he just had something he needed to say…he's gonna feel like s now when you go in there…"

"If I go in there…" God she hated that way that sounded, what was wrong with her? Where was this coming from? "Look guys…I'm sorry…I…don't know where this is coming from. I know all that stuff you just told me…I know…it's just…difficult…"

"You don't need to apologize to us Sydney," Will said, "that's what we're here for – to tell you when you're being stupid." He smiled.

"Gee thanks guys…" she smiled back, "But really…thanks…"

"No prob." Will said.

"Anytime," Francie echoed.

She got up from the chair and went off to talk to Vaughn.

She came into the room saying, "Look Vaughn…I'm sorry I–" but she stopped, seeing that he was lying down. She smiled; he must have fallen asleep. Strange, she thought, he's not on the pillow…and he's curled on his side…the left side…the one that hurts to lie on…something was wrong.

"Vaughn!" she shouted, running over to the bed.


	83. Breathless

**Chapter 83: Breathless****  
**_"Silence is a text easy to misread." – A. A. Attanasio _

"I am open to receive with every breath I breathe." – Michael Sun

"A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." – Unknown

* * *

She ran over, gently trying to turn him without hurting him, "Vaughn!" she shouted again.

His eyes were closed and his breathing was strained. In fact, she couldn't hear him breathing. She checked the oxygen tank, thinking it might be empty, but it was still at a reasonable level.

Will and Francie ran into the room, "Syd?" they said.

"Vaughn!" Sydney said again, turning him over on his back.

She stopped, looking at him, but there was no change.

"What's happening?" Francie asked.

"I don't know…I came in…I found him slumped over…" she put her ear to Vaughn's chest, listening.

"His heart's beating…" she felt at his neck, "he's got a pulse…"

She put her ear near his nose and mouth, "he's not breathing right," she said.

She straightened him on the bed, and then came back to his head, tilting it upwards, so his chin was perpendicular to the bed. She opened his mouth, checking for obstructions, but there weren't any.

She should feel breath coming out, but none going in. She placed her mouth over his and blew a breath into his lungs. She watched as his chest rose and he let the breath out shakily. His eyes fluttered and she sighed in relief, but when his eyes met hers, she knew that there was still something wrong. He shook his head, trying to tell her something, but he couldn't make the words come out. He closed his eyes tightly, and she could tell that he couldn't breathe again.

His chest was on fire, he couldn't make himself breathe in, no matter how hard he willed it; it just wouldn't happen.

Sydney stilled his head and placed her mouth over his again. She blew a breath in and watched again as his chest rose and fell with the breath. But the same thing happened; he struggled again after she had helped him.

Her brow furrowed, trying to figure out what was wrong.

She placed her mouth over his again, tilting his head again, and keeping one hand on his neck and the other moved to his chest. She left her mouth over his as he let the breath out, and then just continued to breathe with him. She started to press on his chest when the breath needed to be let out and then she would elevate him slightly when he needed to take the breath in. She continued her process until the fear left his eyes and he seemed to be struggling less. Then she carefully moved her mouth away from his, but stayed close enough to start again if he needed it. She kept her hands firmly planted where they were in a comforting gesture.

She smiled when she noticed that he seemed to be breathing on his own again. She kept up her motions though, pressing gently on his chest on the exhale and elevating his head on the inhale.  
She gave him a few minutes to relax and just breathe and then asked softly, "What happened?"

"I'm sorry…" he said in a raspy voice as tears sprung to his eyes.

"It's ok…you're ok…" she said, not understanding why he would apologize for her helping him.

"No…" he said, "about before…I'm sorry about before…I don't know what was wr–"

She placed a finger over his lips, "Don't…I didn't handle that well…we'll talk about it later…what happened after I left?"

"I fell asleep…I must have leaned over too far…and I couldn't push myself back up…my shoulder hurt too much…ribs hurt…and I couldn't breathe…"

"So you couldn't call?"

"Un uh…"

"Ok…it's ok…are you ok now? Does it feel like you can breathe ok again?"

He nodded, "I don't know what happened, it's like I forgot how to breathe in…"

"It's ok…don't worry about it…"

They spent a few minutes just relaxing, he getting used to breathing again.

Will interrupted them; "Uh…guys…I hate to disturb you…but is everything ok?"

Sydney smiled, "Yeah, I think we're ok…you wanna stick around though? We have to come up with some way that Vaughn can lay comfortably and I only have one idea left…but I'm gonna need your help I think…"

"Sure," Will said moving closer.

"Why don't you just give us a few more minutes, K?"

"Yeah, sure…" Will said, moving towards the door, "Just call…"

Sydney looked down at Vaughn; he looked worn out. "You ok?"

"Yup," he said, but he wasn't very convincing.

"It's ok if you're not Vaughn," Sydney assured him.

"Can I have some water?" he asked.

"Sure…" she got up and ran to the bathroom, grabbing a glass of water and returning, taking the seat she had just vacated. She lifted him up and helped him sip the water. Once he was finished, she placed the glass on the nightstand.

"So what's this new idea you have?" he asked.

She smiled, "Well…I thought maybe we could try me sitting up and you leaning, and we'd just position you so you wouldn't be putting pressure on your back."

"But then you'll never get any sleep Syd."

"I will sweetie, don't worry."

"No," he said.

"Vaughn," she warned, "you have to get some sleep…"

"Not at your expense," he refused.

She sighed, "Well…then…the only alternative is for you to lay on your stomach…"

"That doesn't work well Syd, I can't breathe…"

"Well, we tried it with your head just on the pillow and nothing else under you…"

"Yeah…"

"Well, we're gonna put something else under you…"

"What?" he asked confused.

"Me."

His eyes shot up to look at hers; she was smiling.

"Syd…" he started.

"Let's just try it, ok?"

He looked uncertain, but he would have done anything she asked. She removed his sling and set it aside.

"Will?" she called when she knew she had his consent.

He bounded in, Francie not far behind.

"K, here's what we're gonna try…We're gonna turn Vaughn over, but he can't touch the bed, and I don't want to have him lay on either one of his sides, cause I think he's been through enough of that tonight…anyway…once we have him rolled over, I want you to pick him up and lay him on me…"

Will looked at Francie, "On you?"

"Oh come on Will! Get your mind out of the gutter, we're both clothed!"

He smiled, "Let's do it."

They both lifted Vaughn gently so that he was turned over and then Sydney made sure Will had a firm grip and slipped underneath Vaughn, supporting him with her hands pushing up on his chest. Then she instructed Will to lower him, and he did so with careful agility. Vaughn sunk into Sydney's arms and winced.

"Syd," he rasped, "I don't think this is gonna work."

Will was about to move again to get him off, but Sydney stopped him, "No, Will…go grab a few pillows…"

Will and Francie both ran off and came back with an armload of pillows. Sydney rubbed Vaughn's back as they waited, trying to keep him calm through his somewhat difficult breathing.

"Ok, now I'm gonna push up, and you put a few pillows under my legs…"

"Isn't that just gonna put more pressure on his chest?" Francie asked.

"Just do it, ok?" Sydney asked.

They both shrugged, but did as Sydney requested, putting the pillows under her legs.

Once they had the pillows under her, Vaughn seemed to settle, and his breathing slowed.

"All we need is a free airway," she said, stroking her hand through his hair and rubbing his back with her other hand, "the pillows give us that, and he's already used to the pressure on his ribs, aren't you?" she asked.

He mumbled a sleepy reply from where he was perched on Sydney's chest.

"Actually, with the pillows under our legs, he's about level. Remember the pillow under my head makes that part more elevated than the rest of the body…Leave the other pillows here though, in case I need to elevate us more…"

"Sure," Will said, moving them over to the bed, "Just uh, call if you need us…"

"Thanks, Will. Thanks, Francie," she said as they waved goodnight.

Vaughn's breathing had picked up a normal rhythm and he was resting comfortably on Sydney.  
She smiled, feeling his body relaxing; the muscles that had been so tense today, finally giving into her touch.

He winced slightly and Sydney shifted him so that he was comfortable again.

"You ok? Think this is gonna work all night?"

"I'm ok now…I don't know about all night…"

"Well, let's just take it a little at a time…"

He was lying with his head facing away from the bedroom door, nestled under Sydney's chin. Sydney made sure that his shoulder wasn't at a bad angle, and the arm was lying limply at her side. His other hand was curled slightly under the pillow that her head rested on. One of her hands roamed pattern on his back and up to his hair, and the other rested on his neck, cradling his head into her.

"Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure I'm not too heavy for you?"

"No sweetie, you're not…you haven't ever been too heavy before…"

"But usually my whole weight isn't on you then…"

"It's fine Vaughn…I'm good…I'm comfortable…are you?"

"Mmm hmm…"

"Good," she said happily, "You get some sleep now, ok?"

"Yeah…"

She stayed awake for a while; just waiting to make sure he was going to be ok for the night.

Will and Francie poked their heads cautiously into the room before they went to bed.

"He ok?" Francie asked.

Sydney whispered, "Yeah…I think he's ok…"

"Are you gonna be able to stay that way all night?" Will asked.

"We'll be fine," Sydney assured them, "but I'll call if we need anything…"

"Ok," Will agreed, "Night Syd."

"Night Syd," Francie echoed.

"Night guys…thanks…"

They smiled as they shut the door and went off to bed themselves.

Sydney allowed herself to sleep after a few more minutes, after reassuring herself that Vaughn was ok.


	84. Pillow Talk

Chapter 84: Pillow Talk 

_"Talking to the songbird yesterday / Flew me to a past not far away  
She's a little pirate in my mind / Singing songs of love to pass the time  
Gonna write a song so she can see / Give her all the love she gives to me  
Talk of better days that have yet to come / Never felt this love from anyone  
She's not anyone  
A man can never dream these kinds of things / Especially when she came and spread her wings  
Whispered in my ear the things I'd like / Then she flew away into the night  
Gonna write a song so she can see / Give her all the love she gives to me  
Talk of better days that have yet to come / Never felt this love from anyone  
She's not anyone" – "Songbird" – Oasis _

"Whenever I'm weary from the battles that rage in my head / You make sense of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread / I lose my way but still you seem to understand / Now and forever I will be your man.  
Sometimes I just hold you / Too caught up in me to see / I'm holding a fortune that heaven has given to me / I'll try to show you each and every way I can / Now and forever I will be your man  
Now I can rest my worries and always be sure / That I won't be alone anymore / If I'd only known you were there all the time / All this time  
Until the day the ocean doesn't touch the sand / Now and forever I will be your man / Now and forever I will be your man" – "Now and Forever" – Richard Marx

"Give me a reason why I'm feeling so blue / Every time I close my eyes all I see is you  
Give me a reason why I can't feel my heart / Every time you leave my side I just fall apart  
And when you're fast asleep I wonder where you go / Can you tell me I wanna know  
Because I miss you / And this is all I wanna say / I guess I miss you beautiful  
These three words have said it all / You know I miss you / I think about you when you're gone  
I guess I miss you nothing's wrong / I don't mean to carry on  
But give me a reason why I can't concentrate / The world is turning upside down, spinning round and round  
Now give me a reason / why I now understand the beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me  
You got a way of spreading magic everywhere / Anywhere I go, I know you're always there  
It sounds ridiculous but when you leave a room / There's a part of me that just wants to follow you too  
Because I miss you and this is all I wanna say / I guess I miss you beautiful  
These three words have said it all / You know I miss you / I think about you when you're gone  
I guess I miss you nothing's wrong / I don't mean to carry on  
It's such a hard life and most of the time / I'm just surviving  
That's why I want you to know / In a world where sincerity has lost it's meaning  
You fill my world with so much hope  
And I miss you / This is all I wanna say / I guess I miss you beautiful  
These three words have said it all / You know I miss you / I think about you when you're gone  
I guess I miss you nothing's wrong / I don't mean to carry on  
You know I miss you and this is all I wanna say / I guess I miss you beautiful  
These three words have said it all / You know I miss you and this is all I wanna do  
I know it doesn't sound too cool but maybe I'm in love with you  
You know I miss you and this is all I wanna say / I guess I miss you nothing's wrong / I don't mean to carry on  
I just miss you  
Yeah, it's true I miss you baby and when you're walking out the door I know / I miss you  
You make me wanna ask for more / I just miss you" – "I Miss You" – Darren Hayes

"I might need you to hold me tonight  
I might need you to say it's alright  
I might need you to make the first stand  
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man" – "Hold On" – Savage Garden

* * *

Sydney woke in the middle of the night, probably to reassure herself that Vaughn was still ok.  
She yawned and looked down at his form lying atop her. His breathing was steady, and he didn't seem to be in any discomfort. 

She closed her eyes again, tightening her grip on him. He moved slightly, mumbling and groaning quietly.

She opened her eyes again, concerned, but he settled again.

She was about to close her eyes again when she heard a low whisper say, "Syd?" She wouldn't have heard it if she'd been sleeping.

"Yeah?" she asked.

He seemed startled that she'd actually heard him. He jerked slightly, letting out a painful moan, and Sydney gripped him even tighter.

"Easy honey…just try to relax…" she waited until he seemed to calm, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah…"

"What did you need?" she asked.

"I don't know…"

She chuckled, "You didn't think I was going to be awake did you?"

She could feel him smile, "No…why were you? Am I keeping you awake?"

"No honey, I just woke up for a second…good timing though it seems…"

He was silent again.

"Vaughn?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you need to talk about something?"

"Not really…I guess I just wanted to make sure you were still there…"

"Can't you feel me?"

"Yeah, I can feel you…"

She smiled, thinking of a child who was trying to be brave, but checked back every few minutes to see that mommy was still there.

She didn't press him to say anything else.

"I'm sorry I blew up at you before…"

"I'm sorry too…"

"I had no right to talk to you like that…you're always here with me…I'm sorry…"

"No, Vaughn…I didn't handle that well at all. You have to be able to get angry if that's what you need to feel…I'm sorry, I just…misinterpreted…Will said I was stupid," she said chuckling.

"You weren't…I was…"

"No," Sydney said firmly, "You have every right to feel however you want. I need to be able to handle that…if you feel angry…you need to express it. I just can't take it personally…"

"I don't want to take my anger out on you Syd," he said burrowing his head into her chest and sniffling.

"Shh…Vaughn…don't worry about it…you weren't yelling at me…and you're gonna get frustrated. I'm surprised it took this long actually, I just didn't…I don't think either one of us were prepared for it…but now, if it happens again, I won't storm out in a huff, I'll stay and we can talk about it, ok?"

"I'll try to control myself…" he said smiling.

"No, you say what you need to…ok? Don't let it bottle up…when you feel frustrated, tell me…k?"

"Yeah…" he sighed.

She smiled, "Was that all that was bothering you?"

"Pretty much…I'm still scared about tomorrow…"

"It'll be ok…don't worry about it…she'll be good to you…"

"Mmm…"

They were silent for a few minutes.

Sydney asked, "You feel safe tonight?"

He was quiet, not really punching in, "Uh…yeah…" but then he stopped, lifting his head.

He couldn't hold it there very long, it strained his back and other muscles, and he couldn't support himself on one arm for very long, but he looked at her long enough to get her drift.

She smiled, touching his face, "Well?" she asked.

He nodded, but added, dropping his head, "I…I don't think I can Sydney…I'm not…I…"

She silenced him with a finger to his lips, "That's not what I meant…"

She wriggled beneath him, managing to squirm her way out of her pajama bottoms and underwear. She reached down and pulled his cock out of the opening in his own pajamas. His head dropped back to her chest and his eyes closed. He let her position him at her folds and then she tilted her hips, grabbing him under his arms and pulling him upwards until he was buried inside her.

She stopped then, finding a spot for him that would be comfortable, but so he could still stay inside her.

He wanted nothing more than to start thrusting in her, but he was too tired and the previous events of the evening had taxed his energy to the point that he was just content to be able to be inside her.

She moved her legs to the back of his thighs, and pulled him closer, sending him deeper inside her, eliciting a moan of pleasure from him. He sighed contentedly.

She smiled, "Ok?" she asked.

He nodded his head in answer, not able to find the words.

"Just relax honey…go to sleep, ok?" she whispered softly into his ear.

He nodded again, drifting off. She smiled when she heard his slow, deep, sleep breathing, and then allowed herself to drift off too.

She was in a state of semi-sleep, not awake, but not yet sleeping deeply when she heard him say her name.

Quietly again, he said, "Syd?"

She came out of her semi-sleep, thinking something might be wrong, "Vaughn? What is it honey? Are you ok?"

He nodded, and lifted his head, looking up at her.

She cupped his cheeks, pulling him inside her further.

He moaned, "Mmm…Syd…"

"Yeah?"

"I need to come…"

She smiled, "You do?"

He nodded again.

"Sure baby, go ahead…" she smiled sweetly and gripped him tightly, fluttering her muscles on his cock, which was fully engorged inside her. He had been hard before, but now he was rock hard.

She watched him while he came, loving the expressions that crossed his face when he found release. She coaxed him through, eliciting moans of pleasure and relief.

When he was done, she smiled at him, waiting for him to comment.

He looked up at her sheepishly, "Sorry…"

She shushed him, "Hey…don't apologize…anytime, I told you that before…anytime honey…you don't have to ask and you don't need to explain…"

He smiled, still looking embarrassed; "Do you want to know why?"

"Why you came?"

He nodded.

"Sure…"

He dropped his head back down to her chest, tired of holding his head up, "I was dreaming about you…"

She smiled, running her hands through his hair, "You were?"

She felt him nod, "What were you dreaming?"

"We were walking on the beach…holding hands and fooling around in the water, splashing…"

"Yeah…"

"And then we were making love in the sand…"

She smiled, "That sounds nice…"

"It was…it was so real…it was like I could feel myself in you…but then I woke up and realized I was…"

She smiled, "So…it wasn't just my tender charms?"

"Well…that too…but it was just like the dream became real…"

"I'm glad it was a nice dream Vaughn."

"Me too…thanks…"

"You're very welcome…"

"But you didn't–" he started.

"Shh…that was for you…don't worry about me."

"But Syd–" he protested.

She silenced him again, "Michael…that was for you…"

He nodded, settling himself back down to go to sleep.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Sure."

"What would you have done had I not been awake?" she said smiling coolly.

"I…I don't know…"

"Would you have come?"

"No, I wouldn't just do that…"

She smiled, "Well…you could have…ok? Or you wake me up…got it?"

"Yeah," he said, and she could feel his smile.

"I hope you have more dreams like that one Vaughn…that was definitely something nice to wake up to…"

He chuckled, "I hope I do too…"

She tightened her grip on him and ran her other hand absently through his hair. Her legs stayed intertwined with his, locked in the lover's embrace.


	85. Morning Dawns

**Chapter 85: Morning Dawns **

_"My empty water dish mocks me." – Bob the Dog _

"Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious." – William Feather

"I have always felt that the moment when first you wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours." – Monica Baldwin

"The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected." – Cousin Woodman

"My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can." – Cary Grant

"We sleep, but the loom of life never stops, and the pattern which was weaving when the sun went down is weaving when it comes up in the morning." – Henry Ward Beecher

* * *

Sydney woke Friday morning to hear a strange scratching on the bedroom door. 

She looked down on her chest to see Vaughn resting comfortably, still in a deep sleep.

The scratching wasn't particularly loud, but it was annoying enough that it might soon wake Vaughn. He'd had an exhausting day and night, and she wanted him to be able to sleep as long as possible. He had another long day ahead of him; he needed to be rested.

She also realized that checking out the noise would be sleep suicide, because she'd have to move Vaughn off of her and that would be impossible to do without waking him. Plus, even if she could worm her way out from underneath him, she'd have to position him so the infected would wasn't pressured, and well…that just wasn't going to happen with him sleeping.

She sighed trying to come up with some way of making the noise stop, but she came up with nothing.

She just waited, hoping it would stop…but it didn't. It ceased momentarily, but started up again several minutes later.

Vaughn hadn't stirred the whole time, and she held out hope that maybe he would just sleep through it.

That's when she heard the whining start…Donovan…now she knew…it made sense then…

Crap, she thought to herself.

After several more minutes of annoying whining, Vaughn stirred atop her.

He groggily moved his head, "Syd?"

"Yeah, sweetie, right here…" she said.

"Mmm…what's that…is that Donovan?" he asked.

"Yeah…I think so…listen, I'm going to move you on your back…you stay here and rest, and I'll go take care of the dog…you get some more sleep, k?"

He nodded sleepily, and she wondered if he was really registering any of this.

He was still inside her and that actually made it easy for her to roll them. She didn't really have to support his weight; she just rolled them both, until she was on top.

He let out a low moan as his back hit the bed, but he seemed to settle into the pillow again.

She dislodged herself from him and gently got off the bed, replacing the covers around him and throwing her robe on.

She padded over to the door and opened it to see a very depressed dog looking at her.

He wore an expression of 'it's about time!' and trotted off to where his water and food dishes were, looking back to make sure that she was following.

Both of the dishes were empty and he whined, cocking his head to the side and staring up at her.

She smiled, "Sorry boy…Will's really good about taking you for walks and stuff, but not so good on the water and food…"

She went over to where they kept the food and then filled the dish, Donovan trailing with her, wagging his tail happily now that someone was attending to him.

She filled the water too and Donovan eagerly started lapping at it.

"Sorry about that Donovan," she said, patting his head.

He looked like he was in dog heaven as he went back and forth between the water and the food.

Sydney went back to the kitchen and grabbed a few dog biscuits too, and then dropped them in his dish.

He barked softly at her, even happier as he devoured those.

She stood watching him for a few minutes until he had his fill and he trotted over to where she stood.

"Come on, boy," she said and he followed her.

She opened the patio door and he ran out into the yard, immediately spotting a squirrel and chasing after it, barking like nuts.

Sydney laughed quietly and then went back into the kitchen and made some coffee. She looked at the clock; it was about 7:00 in the morning.

She peeked into the bedroom, finding Vaughn still sleeping restfully.

She smiled and grabbed some clothes, and then went into the bathroom, and showered.

She came out, awake and refreshed. She checked on Vaughn again as she combed her hair, and he was still asleep. She dressed and then went out into the kitchen again; it was now 7:45.

Will came flying out of Francie's bedroom, dressed, but slightly disheveled.

"Will?" Sydney said when he flew past.

He came back, "Oh, hey Syd…didn't think you'd be up this early…" he grabbed his jacket from the closet and came back, "I'd love to stay and chat…but I'm gonna be late…I sort of overslept…"

"Did Fran leave already?"

"Yeah…she left REALLY early…something about a special catering job…I really gotta go," he said, heading for the door, "I'll talk to you later, good luck today…"

She smiled at his remembering, "Ok, Will, thanks…see ya…"

With a quiet thud, the front door closed as he exited.

Sydney spent a while reading the morning paper and enjoying her coffee. She glanced at the clock again and it was 8:15. Sydney went to the bedroom, checking on Vaughn. He was still sleeping, but she entered further just to make sure he was breathing all right. She was relived to find that his breath was even and steady, his chest rising and falling normally. She watched him for a few more minutes and then walked out again; happy he was sleeping soundly.

It was almost 9:30 before she heard the familiar sounds of his stirring.

She entered the room before he was fully awake and sat down beside him on the bed.

He turned his head towards her, "I'm on my back…" he said yawning, "not inside you…why?"

She smiled, "Donovan got a little antsy REALLY early this morning. I was afraid he'd wake you up so I was forced to dislodge you," she replied kissing him.

"Humpf…well…I'm gonna have to have a talk with him…don't like that whole scenario…"

She smiled, "Sorry…" she let him wake more fully before saying, "You know…I hate to further ruin your parade, but we have to do exercises today…and I have to change the bandages…and you should eat…and then," she said wincing slightly, "Barnett is coming over…remember?"

"Yeah, how could I forget?"

"I know…let's take it a step at a time."

"Well, you seem to have the whole day planned," he said smiling.

"Someone's got to…if I left it up to you, we'd never get out of bed."

"And that would be bad why?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

She chuckled, "Ok…what do you want to do first; eat, bandages, or exercises?"

"Eat…I'm starving…" he added, "Maybe you could come up with some food we could share like yesterday…"

She smiled, "Mmm…not for breakfast…I'm sorry honey, but we can't this morning…maybe later today…after…well after she's gone…we really don't have time now…"

He pouted.

"But I'll make you whatever you want for breakfast."

"Um…eggs and bacon?"

"Sure," she said rising from the bed.

"Syd?" he said when she was just outside the room.

She poked her head back in, "Yeah?"

"I love you…"

She smiled, coming back in the room and retaking her spot on the bed. She cupped his face and kissed him, "I love you too…"

Then she got up again and went to make him his breakfast.

She brought the tray in with his breakfast and pain pills on it and he looked at the tray confused, "Where's your breakfast?" he asked.

"I already ate sweetie…"

"Oh."

"You slept kinda late…I was up early…so I ate earlier…"

"Ok."

He set to eating the breakfast, "This bacon is really good," he said.

She smiled, "Thanks…it's kind of a specialty of mine."

"Bacon?" he asked smiling.

"Yeah…" she said proudly.

"Good…I like bacon…"

The rest of the breakfast passed without much ceremony, both Sydney and Vaughn just enjoying the quiet morning with no friends, no dogs, no doctors popping in and out.

After breakfast, Sydney cleared away the tray and reentered the room, "So…exercise or bandages?"

"We better do exercises first…that way we won't mess up the bandages after you've redone them."

"Good plan," Sydney said.

She sat him up and leaned him against the pillow, full frame. She would have positioned him like she had last night, but she figured he was going to need all the leverage he could for the exercises.

She took off his shirt and removed the rib wrap, and they did the deep breathing routine.

Once finished with that, she replaced the wrap and laid him down again in a more reclined manner for the exercises. She sat on his legs and he seemed to be able to sit up with more ease than he'd had in the past few weeks. He made it through eight crunches, two more than were actually "required" and she was very proud of him. They next moved to do the standing exercises and he did that rather successfully as well. He'd wavered slightly, but much less than in the past as well.

After they had done the crunches and the standing, Sydney helped Vaughn sit back in bed and then she moved to his ankle.

"How's your ankle feel?" she asked, taking it in her hands.

"Not too bad."

"Can you rotate for me?"

He moved his ankle in several circular patters, showing her the range of movement.

"When we stood up, did it hurt?"

"It gets stiff, but it didn't hurt…it gets sore sometimes, but I can tell it's getting better."

"Better enough that we could take the wrap off?"

"I don't walk on it too much, I would think we could take it off…"

"Ok, we'll try it…if it starts to hurt though, you let me know, and we'll put it back on…"

"Got it."

She smiled as she started unwrapping the ankle, being very gentle with the still injured part.

She set it gently on the bed, "Does it hurt now? Because I'm sure the pressure of the wrap keeps it from hurting…"

"Well, it throbs sometimes, but right now it's good…"

"Ok…"

She moved back to sit on the bed, "Bandages?"

"Yeah…ok…" he said resignedly.

She smiled knowingly and moved to get the materials for changing his bandages.

She removed the wrap again and did the ones on the front first, checking the one with the tape irritation especially, and was pleased to find that it seemed to be getting better.

She changed the remaining bandages on his chest and then sat him up to do the ones on his back.

She changed all the small burn ones, applying the burn cream before replacing the bandages per her usual routine.

She changed the larger ones then, checking for infection, but they all seemed to be healing normally.

Last was the infected wound. He'd been lying on his back for a few hours, and she was sure that it was going to be a painful removal.

She moved away to get the washcloth and came back to remove the bandage. She got a corner of the tape up and gently pried some more off with the tape. She got about half way through the first side of tape and his back stiffened. He sat up straight and let out a groan of pain. She stopped immediately, moving to support him if he needed to lean back, but after a few seconds, he relaxed and went back to his bent posture, running his hand through his hair.

"Are you ok?" she asked softly.

He nodded.

"I'm sorry Vaughn," she added.

"S'not your fault," he said quietly.

She didn't know how to respond, so she continued with the tape, prying the rest of the side off.

He jerked away when the tape was off.

Unfortunately, she was still holding onto the bandage when he jerked, and what resulted was the bandage being moved off of the wound quickly.

"Ahh!" Vaughn screamed.

Sydney let go immediately, but it was too late. She held the bandage in her hand.

She dropped it on the nightstand, "Oh God Vaughn! Are you ok? I'm so sorry…" she said moving to hold his shoulders from behind, but carefully avoiding the wound.

He was still in too much shock and pain to answer her, so she took a minute to survey the wound.

The bandage had been sticking to the wound of course, and when it was moved that quickly, it took some of the scab that was forming with it. Now on top of the infection, the wound was bleeding as well.

"Vaughn…I'm sorry…but I have to do something…it's bleeding…" She didn't wait for an answer from him. She took the washcloth and placed it over the wound, making him straighten again.

"Sorry…I should have warned you I was gonna do that…"

He was silent for the most part, except for small groans, and his breathing had pitched, the breaths coming out in small gasps as he tried to recover from the pain of the wound.

She checked under the cloth occasionally, looking for any sign of the bleeding to stop, but it seemed as though it wasn't going to for a while. While her one hand held the cloth in place, the other rubbed up and down his back, over the other bandages, trying to help calm him.

Once his breathing had stabilized, she her him mumble, "…ah fuck…" as he took a deep breath.

"Vaughn?" she asked in a meek voice.

"Mmm…" he replied, eyes closed.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked seriously.

"Well…I kinda ripped the bandage off…causing bleeding for one…and pain for another…"

"You didn't do anything…I moved…not your fault…" he said and she could hear the strain in his voice.

She leaned her body against his back, trapping the cloth between them, and kissed his neck.

She brought her arms around to place them on his chest and tightened her grip, leaning back on the bed, with him in her arms.

She traced her hand through his hair once they were laying back.

She let him rest for a while, just rubbing her hands on any part of his chest that she happened to come in contact with.

He let out a tired sigh.

"What…" she asked.

"Nothing…I'm just getting tired of all of this…you shouldn't have to worry about all this shit…you shouldn't have to worry about hurting me when you take a fricken bandage off…you shouldn't even have to worry about bandages at all…"

"Vaughn…"

"You shouldn't."

"Well…we don't have a choice now…"

"You have a choice…"

"I'm not having this conversation with you again…I've already made myself clear."

He could tell by her tone that was the end of the conversation…


	86. The Time Between

**Chapter 86: The Time Between **

_"The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting." – Fran Lebowitz _

"Wait until it is night before saying that is has been a fine day." – French Proverb

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up." – Anne Lamott

"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready." – Henry David Thoreau

* * *

Sydney let Vaughn rest for about ten minutes before telling him unhappily that they had to redress the wound. 

She sat him up and removed the washcloth.

"Vaughn…"

"Yeah."

"This is really bleeding…"

"Let me see…"

She handed him the washcloth. She was worried that the blood would start to run down his back, but it seemed to stay there for the moment.

"It's just the cloth…the water…" he said handing it back to her.

"What do you mean?"

"Blood always looks like there's more of it if it's in water…there's not really that much on the cloth…it just looks that way."

"Oh." She said but she wasn't sure that made her feel better.

"Well…" she started, "we've got to dress it…we'll just have to be really careful of it today…"

Vaughn didn't respond.

Sydney rinsed the washcloth and tried to be as gentle as possible as she tried to clean out the wound once again.

She knew she was causing him pain, but there wasn't much she could do about it. It needed to be cleaned, that was a simple fact. She got as much of the blood and the puss off as she could and then placed the Cavilon on the wound and the TAD over it.

She went over to the bags of clothes on the floor and pulled out one of the new shirts she had bought him. She brought that and a comfortable pair of pants over to him.

He looked at her strangely.

"Barnett," she said.

"So? I can't be injured when she comes over?"

She smiled, "I just thought maybe we could dress you a little…better…more professional…" she stopped eyeing him, "of course, if you'd prefer, we could just put on a sloppy pair of boxers and a rumpled tee shirt. I'm sure she'd have your mental health status secured in no time."

He smiled, "Ok…you win."

She helped him dress and then recline back onto the bed, positioning him so that he wouldn't be lying on the infected wound.

He looked tired again, despite having slept late.

"You wanna nap?" she asked, but the ringing phone interrupted them before he could answer.

She looked at the clock; it was after 11:00.

"Hello?" Sydney said as she picked up the phone.

"Hello Sydney, this is Dr. Barnett."

"Oh, hi," Sydney said looking at Vaughn and mouthing 'Barnett' to him. He nodded. "So, how are you?" Sydney asked.

Barnett chuckled, "I'm fine Sydney, you?"

"Can't complain."

"I was just calling to confirm our appointment for today…is 2:00 still a good time?"

"Yes, that's fine…"

"Ok, then I'll see you and Agent Vaughn at 2:00."

"Sounds good, thanks Dr. Barnett."

"Goodbye Sydney."

"Bye," Sydney said hanging up the phone. She turned to Vaughn, "We've got like two hours before she gets here."

"Ok."

"If you wanna nap, you should do it now…then I'll wake you up a little while before she gets here. Then you can shave and eat something if you want."

"Ok," Vaughn said, his hand moving over the stubble that had been growing for the last few days.

"Maybe I should grow a goatee," he said smiling.

She smiled back, "Guys with goatees are hot…but I think we should wait until a few more of the cuts are gone," she said, tracing her hand over a few on his cheeks and chin.

He smiled, "Ok…"

"You nap," Sydney said, kissing his forehead, "Call if you need anything."

He yawned and Sydney smiled as she walked out.

She got the shaving stuff ready and then picked up the phone.

Once she dialed, the other end rang a few times, "Tom here."

"Glad to hear you're not trying that whole professional thing again…"

She could hear him laugh on the other end of the line, "What's up?"

"Well…"

"Oh no…is it the wound?"

"Yeah," she said slowly, "but something else too…"

"Ok…"

"Well, we tried the other angle thing last night…"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, and well…it didn't go so well. Both of his sides – the left one, his shoulder hurts when he lays on it, and the right one, his ribs hurt when he lays on it…his stomach – yeah…very bad…he can't breathe when he lays on that…SO! We had quite a fun time…and then of course, if he lays on his back now, his wound not only hurts, but then all the exudates, to use your term, stick to the bandage and it's not easy to take off my any means."

"So how did he lay last night?"

"Well…we tried sitting up…but he fell asleep and sort of rolled onto his side…that was very bad – he was having lots of trouble breathing, I had to help him breathe…"

There was silence and then, "That's not good Sydney…"

"No…it wasn't…and then we finally got settled with him laying on me all night. As long as he was flat, he seemed ok."

"Well, at least you found an angle – that one works? He's comfortable?"

"Yeah…seems to be. I had to move him back onto his back this morning though, and then the wound thing happened."

"What was that?"

"Well…since he laid on his back for a few hours, it was stuck pretty bad…and well, he jerked while I was hanging onto the bandage at the time, and it totally got ripped off…so it started bleeding."

"How bad?"

"Vaughn told me that the water from the washcloth I put on it made it look worse than it is, but I'm not so sure, so I'm double checking, calling you…making myself really annoying and making a habit of calling you on a daily basis…really…I'm sorry…I just don't want to hurt him…"

"Relax, he's totally right about the washcloth…it probably isn't bleeding that badly…just keep an eye on it today…and keep him off his back as much as possible." He paused, "The whole breathing thing concerns me…"

"He's been breathing better though…I think it was just the angle he landed on…otherwise, he's gone for longer without the oxygen…I think that's getting better…"

"Ok…well…monitor that today especially too, k?"

"Yeah."

"And you're not annoying, and I look forward to the daily calls…"

She could sense the smile in his voice, "You're great…why'd that chick dump you again?"

"Couldn't handle my charm…"

"Right…"

"Call me if you need anything…or if there's a change…"

"Ok, thanks again."

"You bet."

Sydney once again felt more confident after talking to Tom. She had about an hour before she would have to get Vaughn up.

She went into the back yard, searching for Donovan. He was lying in the sun on the grass. His head lifted when he saw her and he came trotting over, tail wagging and tongue lolling from side to side.

"Hey boy," she said.

He barked in response.

"What should we do for an hour boy?" she asked, and Donovan wagged his tail happily.

"You wouldn't care, would ya?" he barked again and Sydney smiled.

She spent the next hour not thinking about much of anything. She chased Donovan around the yard, letting him get lots of exercise and she couldn't remember laughing that hard in a long time.

Of course, the time came when she had to come back to the real world and Donovan stayed in the yard, chasing his tail, oblivious to the goings-on of the people in the house and the storm that just might be brewing.


	87. The Waiting Game Continues

**Chapter 87: The Waiting Game Continues**

_"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." – Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne _

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." – Unknown

"Teach us, O Lord, the disciplines of patience, for to wait is often harder than to work." – Peter Marshall

"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So. . . get on your way." – Dr. Seuss

* * *

Sydney entered the house and went into the bedroom. She watched Vaughn sleep for a few minutes, then sat down on the bed and gently shook his chest. 

"Vaughn…you have to get up sweetie."

He yawned, but woke up rather quickly.

She smiled at him as he looked over at her.

"Nice nap?" she asked.

"Yeah…it was nice…lonely though."

"Well, I had to spend some time with the other boy in the house…I think he feels neglected."

Vaughn laughed, "With all the crap I'm sure Will is feeding him, I don't think Donovan could ever be considered neglected. Pretty soon, he's gonna think Will is his owner."

"No, I think he's very attached…"

Vaughn smiled.

"I hate to change the subject, but we need to give you a shave…" she added, "You hungry?"

"Yeah…I should eat a little something…"

"Ok, I'll go grab something, then we'll shave."

"Ok."

Sydney hurried off to the kitchen, grabbing a sandwich and Vaughn's pills and taking them back into the bedroom.

While he ate, she moved the shaving stuff into the room and opened the curtains that she hadn't opened yet because Vaughn had been napping.

Once he was finished, she cleared the plate and then moved over with a towel, to cover up his new shirt.

He smiled as she lathered his face with the shaving cream.

"You wanna do it?" she asked holding out the razor to him.

"Nah, you do it today," he said.

She smiled, and set to work, gently shaving the stubble off of him.

Vaughn tried to keep his face still, but he was forced to smile every time he looked over at Sydney.

She was concentrating very hard on doing a good job and not cutting his face off. He loved watching her; she'd bite her lower lip every time she made a down stroke with the razor. And when she'd reach a part on his chin where she had to round a corner, her tongue would just peek out of the corner of her mouth.

He was grinning like a fool and chuckling to himself by the time she was done.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing…"

"What!" she asked again.

"Nothing! You just look really cute when you're concentrating so hard."

"Oh," she said, leaning down to kiss him.

She surveyed her work, running her hand over his newly shaved face, "Nice," she said.

She took some aftershave in her hands and patted his cheeks and neck with that too. Then she leaned her head down to his neck and nipped at it, "Mmm…you smell good."

"Oh God, Syd…" he breathed, "Seriously…if you keep that up, Barnett is gonna totally walk in on us…"

She chuckled against his neck, which didn't relieve any of the tension that was building beneath his waist.

She backed off and removed all the shaving articles, rinsing out the bowl of water that they had used and put away the razor and shaving cream.

She returned and sat down next to Vaughn, "So, what do you want to do for the next," she looked at the clock, "35 minutes?"

"Do you really want me to answer that…"

"I think I can figure that out…but we can't right now…so what ELSE do you wanna do?"

"Uh…" he said shifting uncomfortably on the bed, "I don't know."

Sydney didn't miss much, even less when it came to Vaughn, "You ok? Does it hurt a lot?"

He smiled, "Yeah, it hurts…it's really warm…it feels warm…"

"Hmm…" Sydney said thinking, "I've got an idea," she said getting off the bed and walking out of the room. She returned a few seconds later with something in a washcloth.

"What's that?" he asked, eyeing the thing in her hands.

"An ice pack…" she explained, lifting him up, "Tom said cold compresses make it feel better sometimes, plus if it's hot, then the cold should make it feel better…let's try it ok?"

"Ok," he agreed.

She positioned it so it would be trapped between him and the pillow.

"Ok…lay back," she said, helping him ease back on it.

He winced slightly at the pressure, but he seemed to relax then.

She looked at him expectantly.

"It feels good," he assured her.

"Good, we'll just watch it…make sure it doesn't get too cold…if it starts to go numb from freezing or anything, you tell me…" she paused, "and we have to check that wound more today, make sure the bleeding isn't getting worse or anything."

"Ok," he said.

"So…" she started, sitting again, "Now what'cha wanna do?"

"I don't know…you shot down my first idea."

"Well, yeah…let me think…you wanna watch part of a movie until she gets here? Just chill?"

"Sure…" he said.

She picked out the movie and came back to sit on the bed with him. She risked a few glances at him, and noticed that he really didn't seem to be watching.

"You ok?" she asked concerned.

He smiled, "Just thinking…"

"About?"

He was silent, and then turned towards her, "I'm gonna have to bring it all back today…"

She didn't know what to say, "I know…" she grabbed his hand, "Do you want to talk about something before she gets here?"

"Nah…let's just watch…maybe I can stop thinking then for a while…"

She looked at him unsurely, but went back to watching the movie.

Dr. Barnett looked at the clock; it was a little after one o'clock. She'd have to leave for Sydney's house in a short while. She grabbed her Rolodex and reached for the phone.

The other party answered, "Naval Hospital ER, how may I direct your call?"

"May I speak with Dr. Barker please?"

"One moment," the receptionist said, and music began to play.

Barnett had to wait only a few seconds, and then heard, "This is Dr. Barker…"

"Hello Dr. Barker, my name is Dr. Judy Barnett…I understand that Michael Vaughn is a patient of yours?"

There was a pause, "Yes, he's a patient…what is this regarding?"

"I'm with the CIA Dr. Barker, I'm the chief psychologist at the Operations Center where both Michael and Sydney Bristow work. I've seen both of them on previous occasions, if you were wondering."

"Oh…ok…what can I do for you?"

"I have a few questions."

"Well, I'm bound by confidentiality, you understand I'm sure."

"Dr. Barker, I need information so I can perform Michael's therapy effectively. I'm sure you understand."

"I'm sorry, I get a little defensive…"

"That seems to be a common thing with Mr. Vaughn…Sydney's quite protective as well…"

"Well, Mike's a patient, but he's my friend too…so…I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize…could you answer a few questions for me?"

"Sure."

"Michael sustained many injuries as a result of his torture…how would you say those are progressing?"

"As well as can be expected. They were extensive injuries, and he had many internal ones as well…I make stops over at the house to check up on him and he always seems to be making progress."

He paused and then continued, "He's started an exercise regimen and Sydney tells me that he's been breathing better…the next full check up will be next week."

"I see…so his physical injuries are healing well…"

"Yes."

"Will he have scars?"

"Of course…"

"May I ask where?"

"Well…I mean, some will go away…and all of them will lessen in time, but right now…well…the surgical incisions that were made will heal the fastest because they aren't really wounds per say…bruises heal…and the cuts and scrapes are obviously already showing signs of diminishment."

"So the areas there will be scarring on will be?"

"Well, his back…and there might be a few deeper cuts on his face that will take more time to heal, but those should diminish as well…I guess his back is going to be the main area where they'll be evidence of permanent scarring. Of course, he always has the option of plastic surgery to take them off later…"

"I see…"

"Can I ask why you're asking me this?"

"Well…physical marks are often difficult for victims to recover from. Women who have been attacked – many of them never fully recover because they carry permanent scars from their ordeals that act as constant reminders."

"You think Mike is going to be permanently scarred because of scars on his back?"

"It's possible…I just want to know what I'm dealing with…I'm not saying that Michael will live the rest of his whole life never recovering, I don't think that's an issue with him, but it something I need to know. I doubt he's really had time to think about all of that yet…I'm not sure of his processing rate."

"His processing rate? What is there to process? Some ass tortured him…what more is there?"

"Much much more Dr. Barker…he's far from the finish line. Even after his physical wounds are all healed, this won't be over for him."

"I'm fully aware of that…but still…let's try to give him a break here...does he really have to process everything…does he need to know why someone would do this, why they would make his life hell?"

Barnett was silent, for she knew about Sloane…and motivation…but she couldn't tell Tom that, "I think it's important to know why Dr. Barker."

She stopped thinking, "How would you describe Michael's emotional state when you're there? I understand there was some sort of a set back earlier this week…"

Tom was dumbfounded, "How did you…"

"I ran into Sydney earlier this week…"

"Oh…well…yeah…there was some miscommunication in the house and Mike thought they were sending him back to the hospital. It was a very rough morning…and he sort of…well, he broke down when he saw me…but after we cleared everything up, he was fine…he's ok with me there and stuff now…"

"Ok…was that the only time you found him to be in a non-lucid state?"

"I didn't say he was non-lucid…in fact, I'd say he was hyper-lucid…he's always been lucid when I'm there…he doesn't have like flashbacks or anything."

"What about the nightmares?"

"That's an entirely different subject – he's in a sleep state…no one is lucid in sleep state unless you're lucid dreaming, and that's certainly not what he's doing…"

"What about when he wakes up? Is he lucid then?"

"I believe so…are you suggesting that Mike is suffering from post-traumatic stress?"

"It a very good possibility…I shall see when I see him in a short while."

"You're doing therapy today?"

"Yes."

"Listen, this is completely going to diminish my authority as his doctor, but as his friend, I want to say…please be careful with him…and keep me posted, ok?"

"I will do that…thank for you for answering my questions."

"Of course…"

Dr. Barnett put the receiver in the cradle and mused silently for a moment. Then she grabbed her jacked off the back of her desk chair and got up, turning out her office lights and shutting the door. She passed the receptionist on her way out saying, "I have an appointment, I'll be back later…not sure what time."

She walked to the elevator and got in, pressing the button for the parking garage.

It was time to see Michael Vaughn.

**Chapter 87: The Waiting Game Continues **

_"You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." – Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A. A. Milne _

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it." – Unknown

"Teach us, O Lord, the disciplines of patience, for to wait is often harder than to work." – Peter Marshall

"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So. . . get on your way." – Dr. Seuss

Sydney entered the house and went into the bedroom. She watched Vaughn sleep for a few minutes, then sat down on the bed and gently shook his chest.

"Vaughn…you have to get up sweetie."

He yawned, but woke up rather quickly.

She smiled at him as he looked over at her.

"Nice nap?" she asked.

"Yeah…it was nice…lonely though."

"Well, I had to spend some time with the other boy in the house…I think he feels neglected."

Vaughn laughed, "With all the crap I'm sure Will is feeding him, I don't think Donovan could ever be considered neglected. Pretty soon, he's gonna think Will is his owner."

"No, I think he's very attached…"

Vaughn smiled.

"I hate to change the subject, but we need to give you a shave…" she added, "You hungry?"

"Yeah…I should eat a little something…"

"Ok, I'll go grab something, then we'll shave."

"Ok."

Sydney hurried off to the kitchen, grabbing a sandwich and Vaughn's pills and taking them back into the bedroom.

While he ate, she moved the shaving stuff into the room and opened the curtains that she hadn't opened yet because Vaughn had been napping.

Once he was finished, she cleared the plate and then moved over with a towel, to cover up his new shirt.

He smiled as she lathered his face with the shaving cream.

"You wanna do it?" she asked holding out the razor to him.

"Nah, you do it today," he said.

She smiled, and set to work, gently shaving the stubble off of him.

Vaughn tried to keep his face still, but he was forced to smile every time he looked over at Sydney.

She was concentrating very hard on doing a good job and not cutting his face off. He loved watching her; she'd bite her lower lip every time she made a down stroke with the razor. And when she'd reach a part on his chin where she had to round a corner, her tongue would just peek out of the corner of her mouth.

He was grinning like a fool and chuckling to himself by the time she was done.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing…"

"What!" she asked again.

"Nothing! You just look really cute when you're concentrating so hard."

"Oh," she said, leaning down to kiss him.

She surveyed her work, running her hand over his newly shaved face, "Nice," she said.

She took some aftershave in her hands and patted his cheeks and neck with that too. Then she leaned her head down to his neck and nipped at it, "Mmm…you smell good."

"Oh God, Syd…" he breathed, "Seriously…if you keep that up, Barnett is gonna totally walk in on us…"

She chuckled against his neck, which didn't relieve any of the tension that was building beneath his waist.

She backed off and removed all the shaving articles, rinsing out the bowl of water that they had used and put away the razor and shaving cream.

She returned and sat down next to Vaughn, "So, what do you want to do for the next," she looked at the clock, "35 minutes?"

"Do you really want me to answer that…"

"I think I can figure that out…but we can't right now…so what ELSE do you wanna do?"

"Uh…" he said shifting uncomfortably on the bed, "I don't know."

Sydney didn't miss much, even less when it came to Vaughn, "You ok? Does it hurt a lot?"

He smiled, "Yeah, it hurts…it's really warm…it feels warm…"

"Hmm…" Sydney said thinking, "I've got an idea," she said getting off the bed and walking out of the room. She returned a few seconds later with something in a washcloth.

"What's that?" he asked, eyeing the thing in her hands.

"An ice pack…" she explained, lifting him up, "Tom said cold compresses make it feel better sometimes, plus if it's hot, then the cold should make it feel better…let's try it ok?"

"Ok," he agreed.

She positioned it so it would be trapped between him and the pillow.

"Ok…lay back," she said, helping him ease back on it.

He winced slightly at the pressure, but he seemed to relax then.

She looked at him expectantly.

"It feels good," he assured her.

"Good, we'll just watch it…make sure it doesn't get too cold…if it starts to go numb from freezing or anything, you tell me…" she paused, "and we have to check that wound more today, make sure the bleeding isn't getting worse or anything."

"Ok," he said.

"So…" she started, sitting again, "Now what'cha wanna do?"

"I don't know…you shot down my first idea."

"Well, yeah…let me think…you wanna watch part of a movie until she gets here? Just chill?"

"Sure…" he said.

She picked out the movie and came back to sit on the bed with him. She risked a few glances at him, and noticed that he really didn't seem to be watching.

"You ok?" she asked concerned.

He smiled, "Just thinking…"

"About?"

He was silent, and then turned towards her, "I'm gonna have to bring it all back today…"

She didn't know what to say, "I know…" she grabbed his hand, "Do you want to talk about something before she gets here?"

"Nah…let's just watch…maybe I can stop thinking then for a while…"

She looked at him unsurely, but went back to watching the movie.

Dr. Barnett looked at the clock; it was a little after one o'clock. She'd have to leave for Sydney's house in a short while. She grabbed her Rolodex and reached for the phone.

The other party answered, "Naval Hospital ER, how may I direct your call?"

"May I speak with Dr. Barker please?"

"One moment," the receptionist said, and music began to play.

Barnett had to wait only a few seconds, and then heard, "This is Dr. Barker…"

"Hello Dr. Barker, my name is Dr. Judy Barnett…I understand that Michael Vaughn is a patient of yours?"

There was a pause, "Yes, he's a patient…what is this regarding?"

"I'm with the CIA Dr. Barker, I'm the chief psychologist at the Operations Center where both Michael and Sydney Bristow work. I've seen both of them on previous occasions, if you were wondering."

"Oh…ok…what can I do for you?"

"I have a few questions."

"Well, I'm bound by confidentiality, you understand I'm sure."

"Dr. Barker, I need information so I can perform Michael's therapy effectively. I'm sure you understand."

"I'm sorry, I get a little defensive…"

"That seems to be a common thing with Mr. Vaughn…Sydney's quite protective as well…"

"Well, Mike's a patient, but he's my friend too…so…I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize…could you answer a few questions for me?"

"Sure."

"Michael sustained many injuries as a result of his torture…how would you say those are progressing?"

"As well as can be expected. They were extensive injuries, and he had many internal ones as well…I make stops over at the house to check up on him and he always seems to be making progress."

He paused and then continued, "He's started an exercise regimen and Sydney tells me that he's been breathing better…the next full check up will be next week."

"I see…so his physical injuries are healing well…"

"Yes."

"Will he have scars?"

"Of course…"

"May I ask where?"

"Well…I mean, some will go away…and all of them will lessen in time, but right now…well…the surgical incisions that were made will heal the fastest because they aren't really wounds per say…bruises heal…and the cuts and scrapes are obviously already showing signs of diminishment."

"So the areas there will be scarring on will be?"

"Well, his back…and there might be a few deeper cuts on his face that will take more time to heal, but those should diminish as well…I guess his back is going to be the main area where they'll be evidence of permanent scarring. Of course, he always has the option of plastic surgery to take them off later…"

"I see…"

"Can I ask why you're asking me this?"

"Well…physical marks are often difficult for victims to recover from. Women who have been attacked – many of them never fully recover because they carry permanent scars from their ordeals that act as constant reminders."

"You think Mike is going to be permanently scarred because of scars on his back?"

"It's possible…I just want to know what I'm dealing with…I'm not saying that Michael will live the rest of his whole life never recovering, I don't think that's an issue with him, but it something I need to know. I doubt he's really had time to think about all of that yet…I'm not sure of his processing rate."

"His processing rate? What is there to process? Some ass tortured him…what more is there?"

"Much much more Dr. Barker…he's far from the finish line. Even after his physical wounds are all healed, this won't be over for him."

"I'm fully aware of that…but still…let's try to give him a break here...does he really have to process everything…does he need to know why someone would do this, why they would make his life hell?"

Barnett was silent, for she knew about Sloane…and motivation…but she couldn't tell Tom that, "I think it's important to know why Dr. Barker."

She stopped thinking, "How would you describe Michael's emotional state when you're there? I understand there was some sort of a set back earlier this week…"

Tom was dumbfounded, "How did you…"

"I ran into Sydney earlier this week…"

"Oh…well…yeah…there was some miscommunication in the house and Mike thought they were sending him back to the hospital. It was a very rough morning…and he sort of…well, he broke down when he saw me…but after we cleared everything up, he was fine…he's ok with me there and stuff now…"

"Ok…was that the only time you found him to be in a non-lucid state?"

"I didn't say he was non-lucid…in fact, I'd say he was hyper-lucid…he's always been lucid when I'm there…he doesn't have like flashbacks or anything."

"What about the nightmares?"

"That's an entirely different subject – he's in a sleep state…no one is lucid in sleep state unless you're lucid dreaming, and that's certainly not what he's doing…"

"What about when he wakes up? Is he lucid then?"

"I believe so…are you suggesting that Mike is suffering from post-traumatic stress?"

"It a very good possibility…I shall see when I see him in a short while."

"You're doing therapy today?"

"Yes."

"Listen, this is completely going to diminish my authority as his doctor, but as his friend, I want to say…please be careful with him…and keep me posted, ok?"

"I will do that…thank for you for answering my questions."

"Of course…"

Dr. Barnett put the receiver in the cradle and mused silently for a moment. Then she grabbed her jacked off the back of her desk chair and got up, turning out her office lights and shutting the door. She passed the receptionist on her way out saying, "I have an appointment, I'll be back later…not sure what time."

She walked to the elevator and got in, pressing the button for the parking garage.

It was time to see Michael Vaughn.


	88. Knocking

**Chapter 88: Knocking**

_"Give me an ear and I will give you a voice." – Kahlil Gibran _

"Every dragon gives birth to a St. George who slays it." – Kahlil Gibran

"Take the time to make some sense / Of what you want to say  
And cast your words away upon the waves  
Bring them back with acquiesce / On a ship of hope today  
And as they land upon the shore / Tell them not to fear no more  
Say it loud and sing it proud / And they  
Will dance if they want to dance / Please brother take a chance  
You know they're gonna go / Which way they wanna go  
All we know is that we don't know / What is gonna be  
Please brother let it be / Life on the other hand won't let you understand  
We're all part of the masterplan  
I'm not saying right is wrong / It's up to us to make  
The best of all things that come our way  
Everything that's been has past / The answer's in the looking glass  
There's four and twenty million doors / Down life's endless corridor  
Say it loud and sing it proud / And they  
Will dance if they want to dance / Please brother take a chance  
You know they're gonna go / Which way they wanna go  
All we know is that we don't know / What is gonna be  
Please brother let it be / Life on the other hand won't let you understand  
We're all part of the masterplan" – "The Masterplan" - Oasis

* * *

Sydney and Vaughn were sitting on the bed, supposedly watching the movie, but neither was being attentive.

Sydney kept glancing at Vaughn, trying to read his face, but she was having difficulty because she was looking without turning her head – she didn't want him to be insecure.

For his part, Vaughn seemed calm…but that was only on the outside. On the inside he was a terrified ball of knots. He kept glancing at the clock, the minute hand a death sentence, the second hand mocking him, as it seemed to speed time itself. He tried to keep his grip on Sydney's hand light so she wouldn't notice his apprehension, but he figured she probably already knew.

Sydney was about to ask him if she could get him anything at the last minute when the doorbell sounded.

His grip that had been light turned instantly to a vice grip. Sydney turned her head towards him and she could see the fear written all over his face. He seemed to pale when the doorbell chimed.

"Vaughn…I have to get the door," she said quietly. He nodded and let go of her hand.

She rose, but looked at him. His eyes followed her on her way out of the room. She smiled at him, trying to ease his anxiety. "It'll be ok Vaughn," she said as she moved to the doorway.

He managed a weak smile for her, but she knew that it didn't matter what she said.

She turned and walked to the door. She opened it and there stood Dr. Barnett.

She smiled at Sydney, "Hello Sydney…"

"Hi," Sydney said meekly, moving out of the way to let her in, "I see you found the place ok," unfortunately, she thought to herself.

"Yes, I did," she said looking around the living room, "This is a lovely home you have."

"Thank you," Sydney replied, sticking her hands in her pockets. She really had no idea what else to say, she didn't want to chit-chat with the woman while leaving Vaughn to fear the worst in the bedroom, "Vaughn is in here…" she said, moving her arm to indicate that Barnett should follow her.

She nodded and followed Sydney into the bedroom.

Sydney rounded the corner and turned off the television.

Barnett came into the room and stood in front of Vaughn.

He looked up at her, glancing at Sydney for support. She smiled, but he didn't look any more relaxed.

"May I sit down?" Barnett asked.

Vaughn nodded, and she sat down in the chair next to the bed. She couldn't look at Vaughn's eyes from her chair, but she could see his profile and if he were to turn his head, he could look at her.

Vaughn stared straight ahead at Sydney.

Barnett got out a clipboard and a pen from the case she brought with her and made a few notes before they even started.

Sydney could feel the tension in the room mount; it was coming off of Vaughn in waves, "Dr. Barnett?"

"Yes Sydney?"

"Is it ok if I stay for this one?"

Barnett looked over at her, "I let you stay in the room at the hospital because, frankly, I knew you wouldn't leave and he wouldn't let you…and I'll agree again to let you stay for at least part of today, but that is highly irregular and it won't happen all the time. As long as we understand each other in that respect, then you can stay."

Sydney looked at Vaughn, who seemed relieved, "That sounds like a plan," Sydney said.

Vaughn turned to look at Barnett and asked quietly, "Can Sydney sit with me?"

Barnett looked up at him and smiled warmly, "Of course."

Vaughn looked over expectantly at Sydney and she smiled, moving over to the bed to sit down next to him. Once she was in close range, he reached out his hand and took hers. She smiled reassuringly as she sat close to him, so their bodies were touching. He smiled back, looking slightly less pale and more comfortable.

"Ok," Barnett started, "First, I should ask…what would you like me to call you?"

"Excuse me?" Vaughn said looking at her.

She moved her chair so she could see him straightly and then responded, "Well…Sydney seems very fond of calling you Vaughn, others call you Agent Vaughn, still others call you Mike, and I've yet to meet anyone who calls you Michael…so which would you prefer?"

He chuckled, "I think my mother is the only who calls me Michael…actually," he said backpedaling, "Well…Francie does…and I guess people do call me that…Honestly, my mother doesn't really call me that either…she calls me Michel…so…" he looked at her smiling at his stream of consciousness, "Michael's fine."

"Ok…Michael it is…" Barnett went back to her notes and then started, "Ok…let's get started."  
Vaughn looked away, the smile fading.

"I'll start by telling you some general information…" she waited until he looked at her again, "First of all…I'm not here to make you uncomfortable…I know you may feel that way now, but I'm here to help. I'm not interested in removing you from this house, I would just like to help you work through this…" she paused and then continued, "I want you to trust me…that is key in a patient/client relationship…if there is no trust, there is no relationship. This first meeting is not meant for you to spill everything about your experience…I'm simply here to start out…just to get a feel for you and you for me…"

She stopped again and then continued, "You should feel like you can tell me anything, and I know that's difficult for most people, and certainly right now…but with time, I hope you'll be comfortable enough to reveal things to me. You're role is to say whatever is on your mind…there is nothing that you say that is wrong…I'm not here to judge you or to tell you something you think or feel is incorrect. My role is to analyze what's going on in your head and to help clear things up – I may refine your ideas or tell you why something is not healthy for you to believe, but I'll never judge what you say…Insight is what I do…" she paused again, letting him process that.

Then she added, "You don't have to talk about your past if you don't want to. If you do, that's fine, but your situation right now is not correlated to the incident, so if you're not comfortable talking about that, it's ok."

"I'm not going to tell you that this will be easy and you'll be better in a few weeks. This is something long term; it will have effects for a long time. Sometimes, what we talk about is going to be painful, and I'm going to ask you to recount things that you might not want to, but it's all part of the process…we'll go through processes that will aide you in your healing process…and then in the end, you'll be a survivor…not a victim."

"I don't think of myself as a victim," Vaughn said defensively.

Barnett smiled, "What do you think of yourself as then?"

Vaughn was silent, and then shrugged his shoulders, "I don't like that term at all."

"Ok…we won't use it then…many people feel victimized, that's the only reason we use that term…once they've surpassed the need to feel the victim, then they are considered a survivor of the traumatic event…do you prefer that term?"

"Why do I have to be a term?"

Barnett smiled again, "Ok, we'll just stick with Michael."

"I'd like that a lot better…"

"Ok…I'm going to ask you some questions…just general, nothing specific, ok?"

Vaughn nodded wearily.

"How would you describe your physical health at the moment?"

Vaughn turned to look at her, "What exactly would you like me to say?"

"Something honest."

Vaughn thought a moment, "I don't know…I'd say average, but I think that's shooting too high…I have good days and I have bad days…it hurts usually…a lot…"

"What about your mental health?"

Vaughn just looked at her pointedly.

Barnett reloaded, "Ok…are you lucid most of the day."

"Yes."

"Do you have moments where you feel detached?"

"Sure."

Barnett made a note, "Do you spend large amounts of time thinking about your experience?"

"I try not to."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to think about what they did to me…" he said sighing.

"Because it's too painful?"

"Yeah…that's one reason…"

"What are the other reasons?"

Vaughn was silent.

"Michael?"

He looked over at her, mind racing, but he didn't elaborate.

"Reasons like why they did it?"

"I know why, I don't need to find out why…"

"Why did they?"

"Because they're sadistic assholes…and they wanted to hurt me…and Sydney."

"Why?"

"Because Sloane was pissed because his wife died…"

She dropped that for the moment, "Can you tell me about your nightmares?"

"They suck."

"Could you be more specific?"

"They really suck."

She smiled, "Are they too painful to recount as well?"

"They aren't happy…and it just makes me remember more…"

"Do you have nightmares about what they did to you or do you create other things they could have done to you?"

"Usually just what they did to me…"

"Does that make you lose touch with reality?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you wake up thinking that you're still there?"

"Sometimes."

"How do you reorient yourself?"

"Sydney pulls me out…"

Barnett let that one drop too, "Why don't you tell me how the torture made you feel…during and subsequently."

Vaughn was silent.

"Michael?" she prodded.

"It made me feel like shit…"

"Anything else?"

"What else I am supposed to say?"

"Whatever you feel…"

"I feel like telling you to get the hell out of here is what I feel…"

Sydney who had been silent, said, "Vaughn…"

Barnett stopped her, "No…it's ok…I'm going to tell you what I think ok?"

Vaughn nodded, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize – this is what I think…I don't believe that you've come to terms with this, even though you might think you have. I think there's far too much to discover yet…you've displayed several psychological defense mechanisms while I've been talking with you because you don't want to reveal anything painful about your experience. Now I understand why you don't want to…and I empathize with you."

She paused again, "I believe you're suffering from Post Traumatic Stress. Do you know what that is?"

Sydney looked to Vaughn, and he nodded.

"There's a whole program that psychologists have set up to help patients suffering from this, and I'd like to use that to help you. I said before – it's not going to be easy, and you're going to think and talk about things that are not pleasant for you…" She paused, "Will you agree to that?"

Vaughn looked at Barnett, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Why can't Sydney do this? She does everything already…I'm sure most of your program, she's already done…"

"I think Sydney has done a wonderful job, and I doubt that you'd be this far without her…but she's not a trained professional. I know that she's safe for you…I know that it's easier for you to talk with her…and that's wonderful, but unfortunately, Sydney is not a psychologist. And I won't allow someone, no matter how capable they are to take your complete psychological care into their hands. I think Sydney's juggling enough things right now…wouldn't you agree?"

He nodded resignedly.

"Will you let me help you with the program?"

He nodded again.

"Good…I'm glad to hear that…"

She took out her planner from her case, "I'd like to start meeting with you regularly. I'm sorry to say that in the beginning, once a week does not work well for therapy. Because of your physical injuries, I'd be willing to lessen the sessions somewhat, but therapy should be regular. I'm thinking Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays…same time…for about an hour…maybe more if needed…"

Vaughn dropped his head back on the pillow, "Three days a week?"

"At least you have the weekends off," Barnett said and Vaughn actually smiled.

"Do I really have a choice?"

"You always have a choice Michael."

"No therapy, no work, correct?"

"That's correct…"

"Then I really don't have a choice…"

"Not unless you wanted to find another line of work…but you'd be no healthier there without therapy."

Sydney didn't say anything; this had to be Vaughn's decision. He looked over at her and she smiled, supporting whatever he decided, but not swaying in any direction.

"Ok," he said quietly.

"Good…I'll see you Monday at 2:00 then…"

Barnett got up and gathered her things, and Sydney walked her out.

Barnett turned before she walked out the door, "I meant what I said Sydney…you've done a great job…without you…well…let's just say I think he'd be much less lucid and more aggressive…more detached…"

"Thank you…and thank you," she said.

"You're welcome, but there's no need to thank me…this is my job."

Sydney smiled and shut the door.


	89. Recapitulation

**Chapter 89: Recapitulation **

_"When I'm feeling weak / And my pain walks down a one way street  
I look above / And I know I'll always be blessed with love  
And as the feeling grows / She breathes flesh to my bones  
And when love is dead / I'm loving angels instead  
And through it all she offers me protection / A lot of love and affection / Whether I'm right or wrong  
And down the waterfall / Wherever it may take me / I know that life won't break me  
When I come to call she won't forsake me / I'm loving angels instead" – "Angels" – Robbie Williams_

* * *

Sydney walked back to the bedroom and sat down next to Vaughn. 

She looked over at him and he turned his gaze toward her, "You know…this is really gonna put a crimp in our sex life Syd."

She laughed as he cracked up.

She was amazed at his ability to still find humor in all of this, "You're amazing you know…"

"Nope…you are…" he said pulling her down to him for a kiss, "I wouldn't be able to function normally without you."

"Thank you…"

She smiled at him softly for a few minutes, thinking. "You gonna be ok with all of this?" she asked.

"You don't think so?"

"This had to be your decision, but I wanted you to do it…I think it's important…but I want you to be ok…"

"I hope so…" he said smiling.

She looked at him for a few more minutes.

"It scares me though…"

"The therapy?"

"Yeah…I really don't want to talk about it…especially not with her…and not with you not in the room either."

She cupped his cheek, "She's not out to get you."

"I know that…it doesn't make it any easier…"

"I know…you don't have to tell her everything Vaughn."

"It's just so much easier to talk to you…it's not forced…"

She smiled, "You can still talk to me…I want you to…This session wasn't that bad, was it?"

"No," he admitted, "It's just hard to talk to a complete stranger about something you don't even want to talk about in the first place."

"I know honey."

"And three times a week? I think that's a little much…"

"Well…it'll scale back when you don't need it anymore…"

Vaughn let out a sigh.

"Are you tired?"

"Not really…"

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really…"

"You wanna pencil in one of those S.H. sessions?"

"Not–Holy HELL! Yes! You caught me off guard there…"

She smiled, "Well I did mention that we could think about taking off the boxers after Barnett left…and today we have two hours before Will and Francie get home…"

"Two hours is a long time…"

"Yes it is…" Sydney said moving herself to lie on the bed next to him.

She kissed his neck, trailing her hands up and down his chest and the removing the pants and boxers in one swift movement.

"I don't wanna ruin the mood, but I have to remind you that we have to check your bandage, do your exercises…and you can't be on your back…"

She followed her sentence with a long, languid kiss, and then she grabbed onto his waist, pulling him with her until he was on top of her. He let out a grunt and stayed perched on her chest, eyes closed.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Just give me a minute…"

She traced patterns on his back, and smiled to herself, because she'd been so caught up in the moment, she hadn't taken his shirt off…or any of her clothes for that matter.

She squirmed under him, making him moan again, but managed to get at least her pants and panties off.

She went back then to tracing patterns on his back.

He didn't stir for a while, and when he did, she noted his wince as he picked his head up.

"Are you ok?" she asked again.

"Yeah…"

She smiled and pulled his erection up to her wet folds.

His head dropped back to her chest and he sighed contentedly when he felt her open her legs more and pull him up into her fully. She entwined her legs with his, her feet coming to rest on the backs of his knees so when she pulled her legs up, it sent him further into her moist heat and tightness. She let out a low moan herself as she felt him sink into her more deeply.

She settled her arms on his waist and waited for him to look at her to tell her he was ok to start.

He picked up his head tiredly and smiled.

"Doing alright?" she asked and he answered with a nod.

She gripped him tighter and began a simple, gentle rhythm of pulling him out and in.

She couldn't see his reactions, because his head was again on her chest, but she could hear his moans and sighs and he wasn't complaining.

She worked in a pattern of using her arms and hips with a combined effort of her muscles inside her to help him with the thrusts. For all intensive purposes, she was doing all the work, but she was getting incredibly close to climax herself.

His breathing was ragged and pitched, and if she looked down at an angle, she could see his face contorting with a visage of the 'soon-to-be-released' club.

She smiled down at him when she realized that he was waiting for her.

She came hard and quickly, surprising herself as her inner walls fluttered and spasmed hard against him. That was all it took for him to come, grunting his release as she helped move him in her deeper.

She moved her legs down to a more relaxed position, but one that still held him inside her.

His breathing evened out some, but she could tell it was labored.

She carefully rolled him over again, watching as the pain rippled across his face as they moved. His back came in contact with the bed and he yelped in response.

Once she had him off of the wound, he calmed considerably and closed his eyes.

She looked at him concerned, "You ok?" she asked.

"Mmmhmm…" he said smiling at her.

"You're first on top sex…" she said tracing his jaw line.

"I don't think it qualifies Syd…"

"Why not?"

"You did all the work…I was just along for the ride…"

She smiled, "We should do your exercises…"

"Ok."

She moved to dress him again, but just settled for the boxers this time, and sat on his legs, helping him with the crunches. As long as his back didn't hit the bed, he was fine.

After the crunches, Sydney helped Vaughn do the standing exercise and then came the deep breathing.

She removed the wrap and they started that, but he was having a lot of trouble.

"Vaughn…"

"Y…yeah…" he said through half-hearted deep breaths.

"Are you out of breath?"

"Kinda…"

She put her head to his chest, listening for any abnormality, but she couldn't find any.

She only let him struggle for a few more seconds and then replaced the oxygen, "That's enough for today," she said gently.

He smiled relieved.

She moved to sit him up, and he flinched when his back muscles stretched and pulled on the wound.

They once again went through the ordeal of getting the bandage off and when she finally peeled it off, it wasn't much different from before. With the usual oozy matter there was some blood, but the wound itself didn't look any better or worse. She replaced the bandage after cleaning it and then lay him down to rest until dinner.

She could sense that something wasn't right with him, but until he told her or until she could visually see the problem, there wasn't much she could do.

She left him resting on the bed, with the ice pack on his back again and he fell asleep before she was even out of the room.


	90. Creeping Pangs

**Chapter 90: Creeping Pangs **

_"You're one of God's better people / And you don't know / That's why you're special  
And I cry so I can talk like this / From my downbeat existence  
And I know that you can make my wish / If my wish is pure  
But I don't know / I just don't know / I don't know  
Let me love you so  
Now I can't live this without you / I'd die without you / Without you, without you  
You're one of God's better people / And you don't know / That's why you're special  
It must hurt to see your favorite man/ Lose himself again and again  
And I know that you're my only friend / From way back when  
My wish was pure / It was oh so pure / It was pure  
I couldn't love you more  
Now I can't live this without you / I'd die without you / Without you  
Now I can't live this without you / I'd die without you / Without you, without you" – "One of God's Better People" – Robbie Williams_

_

* * *

"Unfathomable sea, whose waves are years; Ocean of Time, whose waters of deep woe / Are brackish with the salt of human tears!" – Percy Shelley _

Sydney was sitting by the kitchen table, perusing some more of the files when Francie and Will entered.

She quickly disposed of them, dropping them quickly by the computer and coming out with a smile that looked like she was the guiltiest person alive.

Will smiled, "Hey Syd."

"Hey Syd," Francie echoed.

"Hey guys."

"How'd it go with the shrink?" Will asked, turning serious.

"It went ok…it actually went better than I thought, but today was more of informal introductions and stuff, so he really didn't have to talk about anything…"

"Oh…well I'm glad it went ok," Will added, "Vaughn sleeping?"

"Yeah…I don't know…I think something's up with him, but unless he tells me or I can see it, I can't do much for him."

"Why do you think something's up?" Francie asked, sitting at the table.

"Just the way he was acting…he seemed to be in more pain…and his breathing wasn't too good either…"

"Poor guy just can't catch a break, huh?" Francie added, smiling sadly.

"Apparently not," Syd agreed.

They chatted about dinner and the rest of their days until Will and Francie started making dinner and Sydney excused herself to check on Vaughn

She entered quietly, and padded over to the bed, expecting him to be sleeping.

His eyes were open though and unfocused; he seemed to be looking off at nothing.

When he felt her presence, he brought his gaze to her and it focused on her. He smiled, "Hey…" he said quietly.

"Hey…you're awake…" she said surprised.

He nodded.

"How long you been awake?" she asked.

"Not long…"

"You ok?"

He didn't respond right away, "Is it time for the pills yet?"

She looked at the clock, "Yeah, you could have more…why?" she asked sitting down on the bed. She moved closer when his eyes dropped to look at the comforter. "Vaughn?"

When he looked at her again, she could see the moisture that was threatening to fall, "It…it really hurts Syd."

She moved next to him, "What hurts baby? Your back?"

He hiccupped, "Everything hurts…"

"Oh sweetie…did you wake up this way?"

He shook his head no.

"When did it start?"

He averted her gaze.

Her head rose with realization, "Oh Vaughn…why didn't you tell me? I would have stopped!"

"I didn't want you to stop…"

"Honey…if it hurts you…we have to stop…no matter how much either one of us wants it."

She looked away, "I should have never rolled you like that…you made a noise…I knew it hurt you…"

"Takes two…" he said softly.

"Well…the one party should have been more careful and aware of injured party number two!"

He was silent.

"What do you mean everything? Your back and ribs? Something else hurts too?"

"I mean everything. If I move, it hurts; ribs, chest, back, even my shoulder."

She moved over and hugged him in a comforting gesture. Then she moved away, "I'll get the pills."

She walked quickly to the kitchen.

Will and Francie were laughing about something while making dinner. When they saw Sydney,  
Will said, "Hey…dinner's almost ready."

He noted that she wasn't really paying attention to him.

Her face was a mix of determination and concern. She was flying around the room gathering pill bottles, ice packs, and a glass of milk.

"Syd?" Will said.

She finally turned to him, "Yeah?" she said rather impatiently.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine…Vaughn's not."

He moved over to her, "What's wrong?"

"The thing from before – when he was acting weird – yeah, I think it just exploded. He's in a lot of pain."

"Oh man…should we hold dinner? Bring it in? What do you want us to do?"

"No, no guys eat…I don't think he's gonna want to eat. I'll eat later."

"Oh, ok," Will said exchanging glances with Francie.

"Is it bad?" Francie asked.

"I'm not sure…it must be, otherwise he usually doesn't say anything."

Sydney offered them a small smile and then went back to the bedroom.

Vaughn was right where she'd left him, staring off again at nothing. That disturbed Sydney when he did that; she always thought he was thinking about torture when he did it, but he turned his gaze to her when she entered, so she figured the staring must be due to the pain.

She helped him down the pills, giving him everything they had. Normally, she wouldn't give him both the Vicodin and the Percocet, but she could see the pain in his eyes and made an exception.

After the pills he shifted uncomfortably and the shift caused a wave of pain. He groaned and Sydney moved over towards him, enveloping him in another hug as he pressed his head into her chest. She could feel his hot breath on her chest as it came out in heaves.

"Should we try to lay you down?" she asked.

He nodded against her chest and she cupped the back of his neck, keeping him close as she maneuvered him into a laying position on the bed.

Once she let his body lay fully on the bed, he let out another yelp of pain and grabbed onto her. She grabbed him back, holding him up a few inches so he wasn't fully on the bed.

"Should we try a side?" she asked, trying to remain calm.

He responded weakly, whimpering at the thought of lying on one of his sides again.

She eased him to his right side, supporting his frame so they wouldn't strain anything else.

Once he was on that side and Sydney let go, he let out a howl as sharp, piercing, stabs of pain racked his body. It scared her so much that she moved him back to her arms quicker than she thought possible. He started to mewl softly as Sydney tried desperately to find a comfort zone for him.

She tried a valiant last attempt by asking, "Should we try the left?"

His mewling became much harder sobs, but he let her try to turn him. Sydney thought that if his shoulder hadn't been injured, this side would probably have been alright to lie on, but once again as he rolled and used his shoulder as the pivot point, he let out another wail of suffering as pinching and shooting cramps caused his brain to send distress signals to his limbs.

Sydney didn't move him right away, thinking that perhaps they could try propping the shoulder with a pillow or something, but anyone could see the unbearable pain he was in.

He reached out for her again, grabbing blindly, trying to find his lifeline, his sobbing becoming harder as he screamed with the pain. She knew that had he been able, curses and pleas would have been emanating from him, but all he could do was press his face into the pillow and let out more cries.

With an agility she didn't know she possessed, she had him turned in her arms in a few seconds. In this new position, she was holding his head in her lap, his neck supported, resting on her thigh so his head was relatively flat but his back was not resting on the bed.

His sobs of agony lessened somewhat, but they by no means stopped.

Sydney kept up a steady pace of stroking a hand through his hair while the other rubbed up and down his heaving chest.

If either he or she would move in the slightest, he would grab onto her as the pain racked his tired body.

"It's ok honey," Sydney would say, "just try to lie still," but that was getting old; she started to sound like a broken record.

She broke the pattern with, "Oh Vaughn, I'm so sorry…"

Had he been able to talk through the pain, he would have told her that it wasn't her fault, but he couldn't force himself to say any words, so he just went back to the soft mewling, pressing his head into her body.

She cradled his head and tried rocking gently but stopped when even that caused him to cry out in pain over the movement.

"I'm sorry Vaughn…" Sydney repeated for the hundredth time.

He reacted in frustration by burrowing further into her. Tears that she'd been holding in started to fall and he stopped his own crying to look at her.

She smiled down at him, wiping away a few of her tears and then wiping at his too.

He shook his head in a negative manner, but he couldn't vocalize what he wanted to say, so he went back to his position of pushing his head into her frame.

She couldn't stand to see him in this much pain anymore. Enough time had elapsed for the pain medication to start working, but they obviously weren't strong enough.

"Will!" Sydney called wondering why neither of them had poked their heads in yet.

Both Will and Francie appeared at the door, Will holding his napkin.

"I'm sorry…I know you're eating…"

Francie said, "Not really…"

Sydney looked to her, "I'm sorry about that to, but there isn't anything either one of us can do…"

Francie looked at her surprised, "No, that's not what I meant…I didn't mean to make it sound that way. I–"

Sydney cut her off, she had much more important things to worry about, "Will – go get the morphine!"

Will looked at her strangely, looking between her and Vaughn, who screamed suddenly in pain, causing Francie to jump.

Sydney looked down, "What honey? We didn't move sweetie," she tried to reason.

His body seemed racked with new pain stemming from nowhere but she could tell by the way he started moving and the look in his eyes that this pain was even more excruciating than the last.

"Will! Morphine! NOW!" Sydney yelled.

Vaughn screamed again and that set Will off.

He ran to the kitchen and grabbed a few syringes.

He came back to see Vaughn struggling on the bed, the pain making him move, but the movement only causing him more pain. Sydney was trying as hard as she could to keep him still, but it wasn't working.

Francie looked terrified by the whole scene.

He brushed past her to the bed and held out the syringes to Sydney.

Sydney was more than occupied however, trying to get Vaughn to keep still.

"Here Sydney," Will said hand still outstretched.

She looked over and tried to grab the syringe, but Vaughn moved again, screaming in anguish. Sydney moved her hand back to him.

She shook her head, "You're going to have to do it Will," She finished looking at him.

He stared back at her in disbelief and fear…


	91. A Long Night

Chapter 91: A Long Night 

_"I reached for sleep and drew it round me like a blanket muffling pain and thought together in the merciful dark." – Mary Stewart _

_"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death." – Thomas Paine_

* * *

Will looked at her terrified, "I…I…Sydney…I've never given anyone a shot…" 

"Well, you're gonna learn!" she said shortly, "because I can't right now…and he needs the shot!"

Will looked at her for a moment, then said, "What do I do?"

"Just take the cap off," she said and Will complied.

"Then check the liquid…just press the plunger a little bit," and she watched as Will complied again.

"Ok, now just come over here," she said motioning. Will moved closer, watching the syringe carefully.

Sydney moved the sleeve of Vaughn's left arm and held it there, "Ok, now…just stick it in…don't press it in, you have to just stick it…"

Will looked scared, "Syd…I don't…" but he saw the determination and pleading in Sydney's eyes and the way Vaughn was writhing on the bed and moved the syringe down.

He looked at Vaughn and then back to Sydney and placed his hand on Vaughn's arm to steady it. He brought the syringe closer, holding his breath. Sydney watched as much as she could while trying to keep Vaughn still. Will moved it to within an inch of Vaughn's arm and then pulled back slightly and poked it in.

Vaughn twinged, but didn't move.

"Good," Sydney said, "now hold the syringe so it doesn't stick in more and press the plunger down all the way."

Will nodded and pressed it down until the liquid was gone.

"Ok…now…here's the important part…"

Will looked up wildly, scared again.

"You have to keep the plunger depressed completely when you take it out. We don't want any air to get in there and we don't want any blood to go in the syringe either."

Will nodded and did as Sydney instructed him.

There was a small dot of blood where the syringe had been. Sydney moved Vaughn's shirt down and wiped it away and then replaced the shirt.

"Thank you Will," Sydney said genuinely, and Will positively beamed, very proud of himself.

Vaughn seemed to still slightly, but his moans continued. Sydney tried to sooth him but it seemed that even the morphine wasn't helping all that much.

She just sat holding him, trying to think of a way to alleviate his pain. Will and Francie stood by the bed, by and large, watching helplessly.

Sydney grabbed Vaughn from underneath, and tried to prop him up a little more. He moaned as she did it and Sydney brushed against his upper back on her way to hold him again.

The part she had touched was wet, "Ah Vaughn…you're soaked honey," she said looking at the moisture on her hand.

However, her hand was slightly red wet…

Sydney moved him quickly, causing him to scream in shock and pain as it shot through him.

Will and Francie jumped at the torrent of movement.

"What's wrong?" Francie asked, adding, "What else I mean…"

Sydney gasped at the red stain covering a large area on his upper back and shoulder.

"Give me the phone!" she barked to no one in particular.

Will grabbed it and handed it to her.

She dialed quickly, placing the phone in the crook of her neck while easing Vaughn back into her lap.

"Tom he–"

Sydney didn't wait for him to answer, "He's bleeding!"

"Woah…ok…what's going on?"

"He's been in horrible pain for the last – I don't know…hour or two…now he's bleeding!"

"From where?"

"The infected wound! It's soaked through his shirt, there's a big stain on his shirt!"

"Ok…calm down, I'll be right over. Just put a towel or something under it…pressure…keep pressure on it," Tom hung up before Sydney responded.

"Towel!" she said sharply.

Francie ran off this time, returning with a few towels.

Sydney grabbed one and put it under Vaughn telling him compassionately, "Honey…I'm sorry, I have to put pressure on it."

She wasn't sure it registered, but she had to move him anyway. She moved him up until his wound was directly over her thigh. Then she lowered him onto her thigh. He jerked away in torment, but Sydney held onto him tightly.

"I know…I know…" she said rubbing his chest and hair, "I know it hurts, but you have to stay here…your wound is bleeding…We have to keep pressure on it."

He whimpered, but stayed where she had him.

She touched his face, "Tom's on his way."

Tom arrived not a moment later, not bothering to knock or ring the doorbell this time. He'd made it to the house in under 10 minutes, so Sydney knew he'd sped; it was usually a 20 minute drive.

He came into the bedroom, looking worriedly between the occupants, "Ok…I'm here," he said out of breath.

He approached the bed and smiled softly at a very worried and disheveled Sydney.

"Ok, let's see what we've got…ok?"

He stepped closer and then sat down on the bed next to the couple. He helped Sydney lift Vaughn's limp form up and then she moved to hold him while Tom looked at the stain on Vaughn's back.

"Do you have a scissors?" Tom asked.

Sydney looked at him strangely, but reached into the drawer of the nightstand and handed him the scissors.

Tom grabbed the bottom of Vaughn's shirt and cut it all the way to the top. Then he handed the scissors to Sydney, nodding, and she did the same to the front of the shirt. Then they both worked together to get the pieces of cloth off of Vaughn.

Once they had the material off, Tom worked to get the bandage off. It really didn't take much, because the bandage was already soiled with blood.

Vaughn groaned at the pain anyway and his head was lolling dangerously. Sydney moved so he could lay his head on her shoulder and then she could support him more fully as he had to sit up.

Tom examined the wound and asked for a washcloth, which Will produced expediently. Francie seemed in a state of shock as she watched Tom wash away the blood from the area and removed several other bandages that had been soiled with the blood from the other wound.

"I need more bandages," Tom said, concentrating on keeping pressure on the wound.

"In the kitchen," Sydney said to Will and Francie and Will went off to get them, leaving Francie fixed in her place. Will came back quickly and handed the bandages to Tom, catching his first up close glimpse of the wound.

"Oh man…" he said.

Neither Tom nor Sydney made any comments; Tom just went back to the wound, grabbing Sydney's hand to hold the washcloth while he bandaged the other wounds.

"Has he had any flu-like symptoms?"

"No."

"Fever?"

"No."

"Vomiting?"

"No."

"He just started to say that it hurt?"

"Yeah…we rolled him…I mean…I could tell it hurt, but he didn't say anything until later."

"Did Barnett upset him today?"

"No, the session went quite…" she stopped, "How did you know that Vaughn met with Barnett today?"

"She called me."

"She did…why?" Sydney asked, her face wrought with confusion.

"Pretty much…I think she wanted my opinion on his mental state…and if he was physically ready for therapy." Tom looked at Sydney's expression, "It's fairly common for doctors of different disciplines to confer about patients…but I was surprised when she called too…" he paused, "I'm the only medical professional that sees him though, so I can understand, but I was defensive at first too…she thinks he has post-traumatic stress…"

Sydney looked rather dumbfounded, "I guess…I just didn't think that…I don't know what I was thinking…anyway…that's not important right now."

"No…so…he just all of sudden started complaining that it hurt?"

"After his nap, he asked for the meds…then it just kind of snowballed from there…"

"Hmm…well there's no indication that the infection is systemic! I don't get it…unless it's just a reaction to all the motion today…" he said more to himself than anyone else. He thought a moment, "Did you exercise today?"

"Yeah."

"How much?"

"More than he's used to…"

"And he hasn't exercised in a few days after the last setback…hmm…I'm thinking this is all overexertion. Muscles that haven't been used extensively in a while get stiff, they get used to the rest. I think all the movement today just really pissed them off. Cause he's been doing really well with movement, right?"

"Yeah…he's been doing really great," Sydney said wistfully.

"It could be anxiety over Barnett too, even though it went alright…well…he's gonna have to rest again now."

"This is so frustrating Tom! I mean one minute, he's doing great, doing better, and then the next, he's on bed rest again! I mean – how is he supposed to know what he can and can't do? If he can't have a system of progress, how is this supposed to work? He gets so frustrated…and I totally agree with him!"

Tom looked at her with a sad, sympathetic look. While holding the cloth on Vaughn's back and supporting his neck with the other, he said quietly, "That's recovery Sydney. There's no magic formula, there's nothing that says that everyone is on the same page – what's good for one person, is not good for another. That's natural – it's an individual trip. And he's only in the end of his second week of recovery – I know it's frustrating. It's easy for us to tell him to take it easy and not get discouraged, but it is – he's the one that has to deal with it – we're only along for the ride. The simple fact is that it's difficult. The human body is an amazing thing, but it's highly individualized and it needs TIME. This is all common; this is all part of it. It's rough…and I'm sorry…Believe me…if I could, I'd take away Michael's injuries and everyone else's I see in a day, but I don't have a magic cure."

Sydney smiled, embarrassed, "I'm sorry…I know that Tom…I just hate to see him in so much pain…and not be able to do anything to help him…"

"I know…Sydney, I understand. I care about him too…"

"I know you do…thank you…for everything."

Tom smiled, "Let's get him settled ok? I think he's gonna pass out soon…"

Sydney nodded ready to help, "What should we do?"


	92. A Long Night, Part 2

**Chapter 92: A Long Night, Part 2 **

_"Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell, leads up to light." – John Milton _

"All things are difficult before they are easy." – Dr. Thomas Fuller

"Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air." – John Quincy Adams

* * *

Tom checked the wound, moving the washcloth before moving him, "I need another washcloth," he said holding out the bloody one to Will and Francie. 

Francie looked extremely ill at the sight, and still in a state of shock, so Will grabbed the bloody cloth and brought a fresh one, handing it to Tom.

Tom placed it over the wound, making Vaughn groan again, but Tom held it tightly.

"Ok…we have to turn him…" Tom said looking to Sydney.

"Isn't that going to hurt him? How are we going to lay him?"

"What meds did you give him? Morphine?"

"Yeah…I gave him everything we have – first I gave him ibuprofen, naproxen, Vicodin and Percocet, but even that combination didn't work. So, then I…well, Will helped give him a shot of morphine."

"See…that's why I don't worry about you guys – that's exactly what you should have done…can I see one of the syringes?"

"Sure – there's some more right there," Sydney said pointing to the nightstand.

Tom left Sydney holding Vaughn and the cloth and grabbed the two syringes that were on the nightstand. He checked the levels in them and then looked off, calculating in his head.

After another few minutes, he said, "I need one more…"

Sydney looked to Will, "Can you get–" but before she finished he was already gone, getting the syringe.

He brought a handful and gave one to Tom, laying the rest on the nightstand.

Tom stuck Vaughn with the first syringe and then followed quickly with the other two.

"Ok…let's get him down, he's gonna get real sleepy, real fast…" He motioned for a pillow, "Let me have that please…" Will handed it to him and he lay it perpendicular to the regular pillow so it made a "T" shape.

"Ok…we're going to lay him on his stomach – the way I have the pillows should take the pressure off…and it should allow him to breath ok too…" he looked to Sydney, "Ready?"

Sydney nodded and they began to move Vaughn's now lifeless form.

He didn't grunt or moan this time when they attempted to move him and his head was lolling again slightly. He seemed awake, but distant.

They eased him down onto the pillow; Tom gently moved his head to the side and laid it on the pillow so he was facing away from the door. He adjusted his head and neck on the pillow to make him more comfortable and then ran a hand through his hair.

He checked to make sure Vaughn was in the middle of the pillow and then stood up.

Sydney smiled at his obvious affection and then moved herself so she was sitting next to Vaughn on the bed, stroking his hair and neck and then moving all the way down his back with her gentle strokes.

She smiled sadly, "You sedated him, didn't you?" she said watching him, breathing evenly, eyes closed.

Tom shared her sad smile, "Yeah…" he said slowly, drawing out the word, "I did."

He looked at Vaughn, "He'll be more comfortable this way. I hate to do it, but he was in a lot of pain."  
Sydney nodded; "As long as he's comfortable…" she said trailing off.

"He'll probably be really tired again for a few days. Try to make him exercise a little bit though. Otherwise, this might happen again…"

"What about the wound?" Sydney asked, dropping her gaze to the washcloth covering it.

"The bleeding will stop pretty soon," he said moving over to uncover the wound. There was still blood on the cloth but, "see…it's stopping already – there's a lot less blood on this one than there was on the last one…He'll sleep now…by morning, it should be ok again – well – not ok, but it'll be stopped enough that you can bandage it normally. Just watch it tonight – check it periodically to make sure the bleeding is slowing. Once it gets closer to morning you can put some more Cavilon on it and then cover it with the TAD, ok?"

Sydney nodded, "Is he going to be in that much pain in the morning?" she asked worriedly.

"I think it'll be better tomorrow. Once he's rested awhile, everything will mellow. He'll be sore, but I don't think the pain will be as sharp."

"That's good," Sydney said rubbing Vaughn's neck.

Tom moved over to the bed and positioned Vaughn's left arm differently, feeling along his shoulder. Sydney watched him and then smiled when he looked up at her, finished.

He smiled sheepishly, "Keep his arm bent like that. Otherwise it could dislocate again."

"Ok," she smiled; "Should I put it back in the sling then tomorrow?" she paused but asked before he answered, "Can he sit tomorrow? Does he have to stay on his stomach? Is that going to hurt his ribs?"

Tom smiled, "The position he's in now should be ok…It won't hurt his ribs – the pillow elevates them enough and like I said, his breathing should be stable too…I'm going to turn up his oxygen for tonight just to be safe, but I'm confident it'll be ok. Then you can turn it down when he wakes up. Let him decide how he wants to lay or sit or whatever. If it's too uncomfortable, just let him lay on his back – the wound won't heal as fast, but he might be more comfortable. Or maybe the couch would be better for a few days – let him decide."

Tom moved the washcloth off the wound again, turning to Will, "Can I have a fresh one?"

"Sure," Will said, going to the bathroom.

"Bring two," Tom said after him.

Will came back with two as requested. Tom placed one over the wound and the other one on Vaughn's neck.

"Ok…check the wound every three hours and change the cloth – even if there's not a lot of blood on it, change it for the temperature, ok? I'll call you tomorrow morning to check up. You call if you need something sooner. I'll send an EMT over tomorrow too with some more supplies – morphine, meds, bandages and a new oxygen tank too…"

He sighed, shaking his head, "Rough night…"

Sydney smiled, "Thanks Tom. I'm sure all of this could be easier for you if he was in the hospital."

"Nah…he'd be an ass in there anyway…really, he wouldn't be doing this well if he were in the hospital…he's better here Sydney. I've never seen him so comfortable with anyone else."

Sydney beamed, "Thanks…you're a great friend to him Tom."

Tom beamed back, "Thank you…" he said quietly, "Mike's a great guy," he said looking at Vaughn.

He nodded on more time, "Ok, I'm gonna go…call if you need anything…"

"Ok Tom, thanks again."

Tom nodded, shook Will and Francie's hands and left.

Will was the first to speak. Sydney was still sitting on the bed, playing with Vaughn's hair when Will said, "I can help out with the washcloth thing."

Sydney smiled, "No, it's ok Will…I'm sure I'll be up anyway."

"You need to get some rest too, Syd," he protested.

She smiled, "I'm too worried about him to sleep Will…but thanks."

"Syd…you take the first shift – the first part of the night, and I'll take the second. You need to be awake when he gets up in the morning."

Sydney debated a while before saying, "Ok, thanks Will."

Sydney looked at the clock, "Oh God! Guys – I'm sorry…it's after 10:00…you've spent your whole night in here…"

"It's ok Sydney," Will assured her.

He looked over at Francie, who hadn't said a word practically all night long.

"Syd, you didn't eat anything, you want me to get you something?"

"Uh, maybe a sandwich?"

"Sure," he said smiling, pulling Francie with him, and out of her reverie.

When they got to the kitchen, Will pulled out bread and a few other items to make Sydney a sandwich. He turned to Francie, "Can you hand me the mayo?" he asked.

She didn't respond.

"Fran?"

She finally looked at him, "Hmm? What?"

"Can you hand me the mayo?"

"Oh, sure," she said reaching into the refrigerator and handing it to him.

"What's up with you?" he asked taking the mayo from her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You've been weird all night – the whole time Mike's been in pain…what's goin' on?"

Fran looked down, "I don't know…I just froze…he was in so much pain…it was scary…seeing him like that."

"You worried?"

"Yeah, I was…still am."

"Yeah…it was hard, but he's gonna be ok…"

"I know…just…all that blood…you know…"

"I guess it was kinda gory…"

She smiled, "I just don't know how Syd does it…you know? You too – in there with the syringes and stuff."

He smiled bashfully, "Ah…well…I just did what I was told."

"You were great Will…"

"Thanks."

"I'll explain myself to Sydney later."

Will smiled back, finished with the sandwich, "Why don't you take this in there," handing her the plate, "explain now. Mike won't remember, Syd will."

She sighed, taking the plate, "Ok."

Will smiled, cleaning up the makings of the sandwich.


	93. The Talk

**Chapter 93: The Talk**

_"It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar." – Jerome K. Jerome _

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." – Oscar Wilde

"The truth is more important than the facts." – Frank Lloyd Wright

**

* * *

**

Francie walked slowly into the room, trying to gather her thoughts before entering.

When she entered, Sydney smiled at her as he looked up, "Thanks Fran."

"Will made it," Francie admitted, shifting nervously.

Sydney started to eat the sandwich, looking at Francie strangely, "You wanna sit?" she asked through her mouthful, gesturing to the chair.

Francie sat wordlessly and then said, "I want to apologize for the way I handled this whole situation tonight."

"What do you mean?" Sydney asked.

"I just froze…I don't know how you do it…seeing him like that…so much pain…" Francie shook her head.

Sydney looked down at him, "I know it's hard, really, you don't need to apologize. You don't need to "handle" anything – that's my job."

"If I'm here and I want to help, then I need to able to take whatever comes in stride…"

"Well…that's nice of you to say, but Vaughn is my responsibility."

"Hello? Support Group? That's what we're here for!"

"That's right!" Will said, coming in with a glass of milk, "We want to help – that's why she's apologizing."

Sydney smiled, "Thanks guys."

They talked a few more minutes before Sydney said, "Will you should really get some sleep if you wanna do this."

"I do…I'm going…" he said, kissing Sydney on the forehead, "You comin'?" he asked Francie.

She smiled, "I think I'll stay up a while with Syd."

"Ok," Will said, kissing her and going out.

Sydney smiled, "You don't have to stay up."

"I want to…we cant talk…we haven't done that in a while…"

Sydney smiled, "No, we haven't…I'm been kinda busy."

"Me too," Francie said, not letting Sydney shoulder all of the blame.

"What should we talk about?" Sydney asked as she set her plate on the nightstand and then downed the milk in one continuous gulp. Then she went back to playing with Vaughn's hair.

"I think we can talk about plenty…" Francie said.

Sydney smiled again, "Yeah…that's true too…"

"I have to ask you a few things," Francie said slowly and unsurely.

"Ok…" Sydney said, eyeing her apprehensively.

Francie started slowly, "I'm not stupid…I know you keep things from me."

Sydney was about to say something but Francie stopped her, "No, let me finish…I'm not saying that's all bad – there's things I don't tell you either, but…this whole thing with Michael – the whole kidnap for ransom while working for a bank, it just doesn't hold water. This is not a "Proof of Life" situation…it doesn't make sense…why would someone pick Michael to take? I don't care what bank it is…And all these trips you take? No bank – even an international one would never send an employee on that many overseas trips."

Sydney smiled softly.

"I don't know why you want to hide your work from me, but Will's been acting really weird too since he OD'd and got that new writing job."

Sydney looked over at her, uncertainty in her eyes. If she told her, that would be it…there would be no going back…she took a deep breath, "We work for the CIA – I couldn't tell you before because it was too dangerous…but…well…it's not gone, but the threat…some of the danger is gone now…so…"

Francie broke out in to a smile, "You're kidding right? This is a joke."

"No joke – think about it – doesn't it all make sense? All those spontaneous trips – those were missions, Francie. Will's an analyst, not a travel magazine writer."

Francie shook her head, "This is all too much," she got up and started to pace, "And Michael?"

"He was taken but an enemy of the CIA, one who was pissed at me because his wife died. This," she said pointing to Vaughn, "was payback."

Francie shook her head again, "Well…that makes more sense than kidnap for ransom." She looked at Sydney, "I feel…I don't know how I feel…angry, confused, sad…betrayed?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you…I couldn't! Not before…" she paused looking at the bandages on Vaughn's back and then said quietly, "I told Danny…and he was killed…I did it to protect you…I thought lying to you was better than you being murdered too because of me…"

Francie's eyes widened in horror, "The CIA killed Danny?"

"NO. The same man that did this to Vaughn killed Danny."

Francie sat down again, "Wow…how is this guy still around?"

Sydney smiled sadly, "He's very powerful…we've been trying to catch him for a very long time."

"Wow…"

"I'm sorry Fran…do you understand though, why I didn't tell you?"

"Yeah, I know you were trying to protect me…"

"Will, of course, doesn't know I just told you…"

"No…I'm gonna KILL him. HE should have told me…"

"He couldn't Fran – he was in the same boat I was. The whole cocaine thing? That was a CIA set up so this man wouldn't kill him. He'd gotten too close to Danny's death. They would have killed him too…"

Francie's head dropped, "I understand Sydney…I know why you did it…but no matter what you tell me, our relationship, Will and my relationship, has been half lies."

"No, Fran…we only lied about work…when you take everything into consideration, work is insignificant. It's just what we do…" Then she added, "I refused to let you be a victim of that man…I couldn't watch you die too…please understand…"

Francie was silent for a long time.

Sydney feared the worst and wanted nothing more than to lose herself in Vaughn at the moment, but he was temporarily out of commission.

After what seemed like hours, Francie finally said, "I don't know how happy I am about it, but I understand."

Sydney breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at her, "Thanks…"

"This is your world huh? So, you're a spy right?"

Sydney laughed, "Yeah."

"And Michael too?"

"Yup."

"But Will's just an analyst…"

"For now…"

"Good, I can use that."

Sydney smiled again, "Thanks for understanding."

Francie returned the smile, "You're welcome."

They moved on to other topics but Sydney went back to the previous topic briefly, "You know…it'll be much easier to talk to you now that you know."

"Good," Francie said, "I'd like that."

Francie stayed up with Sydney talking like they hadn't in a long time. It seemed as though the weight that had been hanging over them had finally lifted. Francie would go get new washcloths for Sydney every three hours so Sydney could stay with Vaughn.

Sydney finally started to get tired and yawn about 2:30 am.

Francie suggested, "Should I wake the analyst for his shift?"

Sydney chucked, "Yeah…ok."

Francie smiled, got up, and went into her bedroom where Will was snoring softly.

She sat down on the bed and touched his chest, shaking softly, "Hey Will…Will…it's time to get up…your shift…"

He mumbled incoherently.

"Will…listen Mr. Analyst – if you don't get your butt out of this bed, I'm gonna kick it out!"

Will woke and looked at her, smiling, "Hey baby," he said.

"Don't 'hey baby' me!"

He sat up quickly, "What? What'd I do?"

"Well discuss that later, Mr. Analyst – right now you have a job to do."

"Mr. Analyst?" Realization hit him, "Sydney told you?" he asked with a mix of fear and surprise.

"Yes she did…"

"You really made at me?" he asked sheepishly.

She smiled softly, "Not really…Syd explained, but you're gonna need to make it up to me later."

"OK," he set getting out of bed, "I can do that!" He changed his tone, "How's he doing?"

"Same…he hasn't woken or anything."

Will nodded. They both walked back to Sydney's bedroom.

She was yawning as they both entered, "Hey Will…" she said.

"Hey…you tattle tale – got me in trouble!" he said smiling.

"I thought it was time," Sydney said.

"You're right," Will said in reply. He looked at Francie, "It's actually really good – now I can actually talk to you about work and stuff…about my day…"

She smiled, "Yes you can…"

Will looked to Sydney for instructions.

"Ok, we just changed the cloth at 1:00, so you don't have to change it until 4:00 and 7:00 if he's not up by then. And wake me if anything goes wrong. I'll be on the couch."

"Go lay in our bed Syd," Francie suggested.

"Aren't you going to go to bed too?" Sydney asked.

"Nah, I'll stay up with the Analyst here for a while," she said jerking her thumb towards Will.

Sydney smiled, "Ok," and went off to Francie's room. Even though she was worried about Vaughn, exhaustion was well set in, and she was asleep shortly after her head hit the pillow.

Will and Francie talked quietly for most of the rest of the night, keeping each other awake. Will spent some time bringing her up to speed on what exactly happened to him and Francie seemed happier that she knew. They changed the washcloth at 4:00 and were about to at around 7:00 when Vaughn moved slightly on the bed.

"I'll get Syd," Will said, walking off.


	94. Break of a New Day

**Chapter 94: Break of a New Day**

_"I was her, she was me / We were one, we were free  
And if there's somebody calling me on / She's the one  
If there's somebody calling me on / She's the one  
We were young, we were wrong / We were fine all along  
If there's somebody calling me on / She's the one  
When you get to where you wanna go / And you know the things you wanna know / You're smiling  
When you said what you wanna say / And you know the way you wanna play / You'll be so high you'll be flying  
Though the sea will be strong / I know we'll carry on  
Cos if there's somebody calling me on / She's the one  
If there's somebody calling me on / She's the one" – "She's the One" – Robbie Williams _

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up." – Anne Lamott

**

* * *

**

As Will went off to get Sydney, Francie moved over to the bed, laying a hand on Vaughn's head, "Just lie still…Syd's on her way," she said soothingly, rubbing his neck.

Sydney came flying it the room, moving to the side his head was facing. "Hey," she said quietly, sitting and touching his face.

"Hi," he said softly, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

"How are you feeling? Do you remember what happened?"

He nodded against the pillow, "Yeah…it hurt…a lot…"

She rubbed his face gently, "I know baby…do you remember Tom coming over?"

"Vaguely."

"You were bleeding…the wound was bleeding…and you were in so much pain honey."

"That I remember," he said quietly.

She smiled, "How are you feeling now?"

"I'm tired…and sore…"

"Yeah," she said running her hand in his hair, "Tom said you would be…"

She just spent a few minutes gently playing with strands of his hair. "Are you comfortable the way you're laying?"

"Yeah…it's ok…can you turn my head though? I think I'm getting a kink…"

"Sure sweetie," she said, gently lifting his head and turning it to the other side, facing the door.

Vaughn's gaze met Will and Francie, "Hey," he said.

"Hi," both Will and Francie said, smiling at him.

Francie came closer and squatted down so she was level with his eyes. She reached out a hand and touched his head, "Rough night…"

"Yeah…"

"I'm glad you're ok…"

"Thanks," he said managing a small smile.

She got up then and backed away. Sydney smiled widely at her.

"Syd?" Vaughn said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come over on this side?"

"Sure," Sydney moved to sit nest to him on the bed and laid a gentle hand on his back.

She looked down at the washcloth, "I should bandage that Vaughn."

He mumbled an affirmative answer and Sydney moved the washcloth off, checking the wound. It was bleeding slightly, but nowhere near the amount it had last night. She placed some Cavilon on it and then covered it with a TAD bandage. She made the bandage looser than normal, using less tape so that maybe it wouldn't hurt him so much.

Will and Francie looked at each other, "Well…we're gonna let you guys rest…take a little nap ourselves…Call if you need anything…"

"Thanks guys," Sydney said, "I couldn't have done it without you…"

"Our pleasure," Francie said and with that, they left, shutting the door quietly.

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, running her hand in his hair. She could look at him, but from his angle and the exhausted and sore state of his body, he couldn't bring his head and neck up that far to look at her.

"Syd?"

"Yeah honey?"

"Can you lay down with me?"

"Of course," she said, moving the covers and laying down next to him. She laid on her side so she could face him, and replaced the covers. She reached out a hand and caressed his cheek.

He smiled, "How did I sleep so well?"

She returned the smile, but hers was sadder, "Tom sedated you…" she said, running her thumb over his cheek, and running her palm over his stubble.

He nodded.

"He said it was because you overexerted again…and maybe some Barnett stress too…"

"Hmm…" he said.

"I'm sorry…"

"What for?"

"I'm sure a fair amount of the pain was due to my little rolling incident…"

"We exercised too…"

"Yeah…too much…"

"This sucks," he said with a defeated sigh.

"We just gotta take it easy this weekend…but we're supposed to keep up with a fair amount of exercise. Not today…but tomorrow…" she trailed off as she noticed his eyelids beginning to get heavy.

She moved her hand back to his head, stroking his hair, which she had noticed lately, seemed to help him sleep.

She smiled, "You rest now…"

He was asleep before she could say anything else.

Sydney took a nap herself after she was satisfied that Vaughn was comfortable and sleeping soundly. She woke about 11:00 and stayed where she was to keep Vaughn comfortable.

He woke around noon, yawning sleepily. She noted that he still looked rather exhausted.  
"Hey baby," she said, smiling softly.

"Hi," he said in reply.

"Sleep well?"

He nodded.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah…"

"Ok…I'll go get you something to eat…and I'll get your pills too…you in a lot of pain?"

"It's there…but it's kind of in the background…I think the morphine is still there…but I'm really sore…"

"Ok…I'll make sure to get the ibuprofen and the naproxen," she said kissing his temple and moving off the bed.

She went into the hall, yawning herself, and continued into the kitchen.

She could see Francie and Will on the couch, watching TV. She snickered when she saw that they were still in their pajamas…just like Sydney and Vaughn were.

"Hey guys…" she said.

"Hey! Syd! How's it goin? How is he?" Will asked in a rush.

She smiled, "He's tired…and sore…just like Tom said he would be. He seems ok though…just exhausted."

"Is he still in pain?" Francie asked.

"He says it's subdued, but it's still there…"

"Man…is he hungry?" Francie asked.

"Yeah…"

"You want me to make him something?"

"That'd be great…but I'm still not sure how he's gonna eat. He can't eat while laying on his stomach…I'm gonna hafta sit him up…"

"Hmm…well…I can ask him if he wants me to make him something," Francie suggested.

Sydney smiled, "Sure…actually…maybe we can all go…then we can sit him up if he wants too…"

"Lead the way," Will said happily, gesturing for her to do just that.

They all entered the room smiling and rather happy.

When Sydney sat down on the bed, their tone changed…that bothered Vaughn…

Sydney placed her hand in his hair.

Francie asked, "You want me to make you something to eat? I'll make whatever you feel like…"

He was silent and shrugged his shoulders haphazardly.

Will seemed to notice his mood, "You wanna sit up so you can see these beautiful ladies?"

Vaughn managed a small smile, but Sydney could tell something was wrong too.

"You ok, baby?" she asked.

"Yeah…" he said softly.

She looked over at Will and Francie. Will shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what to do. Francie just looked concerned.

She leaned down so she could look him in the eyes, "Is something wrong?"

He looked back at her, but didn't say anything.

She started intently, not letting him get away from the question.

He finally caved, "I just…" he stopped; not knowing how to voice what was going on in his mind.

Francie and everyone else waited patiently for him to continue. Sydney kept up a steady rhythm of soothing caresses to try to ease him into whatever he needed to say.

They waited several minutes before he continued, "Doesn't it bother any of you that I have the ability to suck the fun right out of every situation? I mean…none of you should like me at the moment…"

They all looked between each other for a few minutes until Will hunkered down to join Francie in her squatted position, "So…you wanna sit up and eat one of Francie's great meals or you wanna lie here and sulk?" Will smiled, "Cause those are the only two options I can think of at the moment…"

Vaughn actually laughed, which made the tension in Sydney's chest, as well as the tension in the whole room break.

He smiled looking at Will and Francie, "You're just as bad as Sydney – not gonna let me be depressed at all, are ya?"

Francie touched his cheek, "You can be depressed, but that doesn't mean we can't cheer you up!" She smiled at him and then continued, "What do you want to eat?"

Vaughn thought a moment, "Uh…how about just some spaghetti or noodles or something…"

"You got it," she said rising and going into the kitchen.

Will took over, "You wanna try sitting?"

Vaughn nodded.

Sydney moved to Vaughn's left side, while Will stayed on the right.

"Ok…" Sydney said, "this is what I think we should do…we'll pull you up until you're kneeling – that way nothing is compressed – and we'll pivot you and ease you to a sitting position…"

Vaughn looked unconvinced by the plan and Will seemed to echo his uncertainty, "Uh…how do we pivot him on his knees?" Will asked.

Sydney smiled, "We'll both kneel on the bed of course…"

Will loved her enthusiasm, but seriously doubted the validity of the plan. He held his tongue though, "Ok."

Vaughn was resigned to the fact – it was gonna hurt no matter what they did. He just hoped that the morphine would still be in his system enough to dull the pain.

Sydney and Will took position kneeling on either side of Vaughn and each took an arm. Sydney had deliberately picked the left side because she knew how to be careful with Vaughn's shoulder. With a grunt of effort from Will and Sydney and an accompanied grunt of pain from Vaughn, Will and Sydney had Vaughn kneeling.

Vaughn was rather surprised that they'd gotten this far, but now it got really tricky.

Sydney nodded to Will, "Ok…pivot so that you end up on this side and I end up on your side."  
Will returned the nod and they started to pivot Vaughn, both crawling on their knees in a circle around the bed. The whole scene was very comical to witness, proved by Francie's shocked look and subsequent cry of laughter as she witnessed the performance that resembled an old musical-movie number. She snickered, "I hear Busby Berkeley is hiring…"

Both Sydney and Will ignored her for the moment, more inclined to worry about the wounded man that they held in their hands.

Once they were on opposite sides, Vaughn was facing away from the headboard, as he should have been. Now they had a small problem: somehow Vaughn was going to have to kick his legs out in front of him so he could lie down.

Sydney looked wildly at Will, who seemed to share the sudden burst of panic, but Francie just laughed at them, setting down the tray with Vaughn's meal on it. She moved to aid them; grabbing Vaughn's legs from behind as Sydney and Will lifted him up. Then she pulled his legs gently until they lay straight in front of him.

Sydney and Will let him down and Will moved to let Sydney handle the reclining.

She reached for a bunch of pillows, motioning for Will to hold Vaughn up. She moved several pillows into a pile and then eased Vaughn back to them. Once his lower back was supported, she grabbed a few more and a small blanket which she rolled into something that looked like a bedroll. She eased him back further, his mid-back region now supported as well and then placed the "bedroll" pillow level with his neck and eased him back into that to finish.

Vaughn smiled in comfort – he was sitting, mostly pain free, and his back wound was not pressed on anything.


	95. R&R

**CHAPTER 95: R&R**

_"Wisdom and spirit of the Universe!  
Thou soul is the eternity of thought!  
That giv'st to forms and images a breath  
And everlasting motion! Not in vain  
By day or star-light thus from by first dawn  
Of childhood didst thou intertwine for me  
The passions that build up our human soul,  
Not with the mean and vulgar works of man,  
But with high objects, with enduring things,  
With life and nature, purifying thus  
The elements of feeling and of thought,  
And sanctifying, by such discipline  
Both pain and fear, until we recognize  
A grandeur in the beatings of the heart." – William Wordsworth _

"We must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose." – Indira Gandhi

* * *

Vaughn sighed in relief as Sydney smiled at him, proud of her accomplishment. She pulled the covers as far as they would go and kissed him fully; a long, sensual kiss that conveyed all the emotion she needed him to know. She rested her forehead against his as they finished before framing his face with her hands, smiling brightly, and planting a shower of kisses all over his face. 

Vaughn chuckled at her affectionate display. For once, Will said nothing at their public display of affection and smiled as he watched the warm couple on the bed. He smiled even more when he saw Francie watching them happily as well and pulled her over for a sideways hug. Neither one said a word until the couple parted and smiled over at them.

"What? No teasing?" Sydney asked, looking to Will.

He shook his head, "Nope..." was all he said.

Francie handed Sydney the plate and she helped Vaughn eat, making sure he got his pills too.

Once he had more medication in his system, he was tired again and they left him to sleep for a while.

They moved to the living room and sat down on the couch and the chair. Sydney looked at her friends, "You guys are the best – I mean it – that was so nice...everything..."

They both beamed, "That's our job."

Everyone was silent for a moment.

Will finally broke the silence, "What do you want to do today when he wakes up?"

"Mmm...I don't know. He's really tired and sore today. I don't think he's gonna want to do much – or at all...he can't really do much...maybe just a movie or something."

"We could play games again!" Will said enthusiastically.

The girls smiled at him.

"What?" he asked.

"You'll lose anyway..." Sydney reminded him.

"Listen Ms. Super-spy – just cause you can kick my ass out here in the real world doesn't mean I couldn't beat you in the game world!"

Sydney burst out laughing, "Game world?"

Francie joined in the giggling.

"You know what? I should go sit with Mike – at least he won't tease me!" he said with a slightly huffy smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

Sydney replied, "Well no...he's sleeping!"

That sent the girls into another laughing fit. Will sat poutily next to Francie on the couch.

Francie reached over and touched his arm, which he promptly jerked away, "Nuh uh – you go sit with your cohort in chiding over there. This couch now has a vacancy!"

They both laughed again, leaving Will to contemplate why he put up with them.

Vaughn slept until almost 4:00. All three piled in the room after Sydney noted the familiar sounds of his waking.

Vaughn smiled as they all walked in, accepting a kiss from Sydney as she sat down on the bed.

Francie had a thought and said, "You know Michael, if you ever don't want Will and I in here – If you want to be left alone with Syd or whatever, just let us know. We'll make ourselves scare – we don't mean to tag along."

Vaughn smiled warmly, "Nah...I like you guys here. If I wanna be alone with Syd, you'll know," he said looking at Will with raised eyebrows.

The girls burst into laughter.

Sydney choked out, "See!"

Will shook his head, "I cannot win!"

Sydney looked to see Vaughn's confused stare, "He said you wouldn't tease him, but I told him the only reason you wouldn't was because you were asleep at the time. Now you're awake and you teased him!"

All four enjoyed a bit of laughter at Will's expense.

"Fine!" he said, "here I was gonna be all nice and suggest dinner and games or dinner and movie...but you know what? Yeah – I have an apartment that I can easily go to tonight and you losers can just sit here without me!"

All laughed again. Sydney loved hearing Vaughn's laughter. With all the pain he'd been through in the last few days, it was a nice change to see him happy, having a good time.

When the laughter subsided, Sydney asked, "What do you wanna do tonight honey? Games? Movie? Nothing?" she smiled.

He thought a minute; "I think maybe just a movie...I don't think I'm really in the mood to play games tonight..."

"No...of course not sweetie," Sydney said smoothing his hair, "We'll just take it easy – chill with a flick," she said smiling and then turned her gaze to her friends, "That ok?"

"Sure!" Will said, "What movie? Let's pick it out," he said excitedly.

Francie smiled, "I'll take Mr. Excitement/Analyst out of here...I'll make sure he gives you a choice of at least three..." Francie dragged him out of the room soon after.

Sydney smiled at her friends as they walked out and then looked back at Vaughn as he yawned.

"You ok?"

"Mmmhmm..."

"Really?"

"Seem to be at the moment..."

"We should make sure it stays that way – I'll get your pills. You hungry?"

"I can wait until it's actually dinner time."

"Let's check your wound before I get the pills..."

Vaughn groaned.

"I know honey...but I didn't put as much tape on this time, so maybe it won't be as bad..." she offered.

She helped him sit up and gently peeled at the tape that covered the wound. It came off rather easily this time, "Hey – I think this not pressing on it may work – that came off really well."

Vaughn nodded, "That's good..."

"Yeah," she said as she gently peeled the rest off. It stuck to the wound some, but not nearly as bad as before and she was happy that it didn't cause Vaughn lots of pain. It looked relatively the same, still oozing, but the bleeding had all but stopped. She smiled as she said, "I think it stopped bleeding for the most part."

"Good."

"Yeah," she said cleaning the wound and then reapplying the bandage. "I'll let you get away with just this one being changed tonight, but we'll have to check all the others tomorrow...and we have to exercise at least a little bit tomorrow."

"Ok..."

"Ok, I'll get the pills."

She got up and walked into the kitchen, smiling as she heard part of Will and Francie's conversation.

"What? NO! We can't make him watch Seven! Are you insane? A sadistic killer who tortures people? It's all dark and rainy. Yeah – that's just the uplifting film he needs! What do you want him to commit suicide right there? You moron!"

Will backpedaled, "Ok! Bad choice...sorry! It is a good movie though," he said putting it sadly back on the shelf.

Francie picked one up, "How about this one?"

He looked at the cover, "Oh, yeah – that's much better. What else could a guy ask for? Romance, Camp, Total Tear Jerker Chick Flick. Come on – that's no better than Seven – only I'd commit suicide!"

"Fine," Francie said placing it back on the shelf.

They browsed through some more before Will suggested another, "How about The Birdcage? That's funny...light..."

Francie smiled, "I think that's much better...let's go have it approved."

Sydney scurried back before they knew she was there, coming into the room smiling happily. She handed Vaughn the pills and he looked up at her, "What?"

Before she could tell him, Francie and Will walked in.

"I'll tell you later," she said.

"OK!" Will said happily, "After much debate – we've come up with," he motioned to Francie who displayed the box, "The Birdcage!" He continued less confidently, "What do you think?"

Vaughn smiled, "That's a good choice."

Will and Francie smiled happily.

They talked for a while before Francie and Will excused themselves to make dinner. As soon as they left, Vaughn asked Sydney, "So what were you smiling about?"

"I just overheard them picking the movie out when I went to get your pills. It was cute..."

"How so?"

"They were just concerned about what you could and couldn't watch..."

"What do you mean?"

"It was sweet Vaughn...they just debated whether or not one movie or another would make you uncomfortable."

"Why would it make me uncomfortable?"

"Well..." Sydney started to think that maybe she shouldn't have brought this up, "They just didn't want to pick something that would remind you..."

"I see..."

"Vaughn," Sydney started, "They just didn't want to make you...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"I need my movie content screened now?"

"Vaughn, that's not what they were doing!"

"What would you call it then?"

Sydney was silent and sat in the chair next to the bed.

Vaughn was silent too until he said forcefully, "I don't need to be coddled..."

Sydney turned her gaze to him, "That's not what they were doing...I just shouldn't have brought it up...I thought it was nice that they cared enough to think about something like that. Next time, I'll tell them to show you something that has torture and blood and screaming just so you can watch it and pretend it doesn't bother you...then you can have a nice nightmare that night to add to it. All because you're too goddamn proud to say that you don't want to watch it. Excuse the rest of us for thinking about you!"

Vaughn brought his gaze slowly over to her. He didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry Vaughn..."

"No, it's ok...you're right...that would happen..." he said quietly.

"Vaughn, I'm sorry," she said moving over to the bed, "We just all want to make this as easy as we can...because it's not easy for you now. We just don't think you need to be burdened anymore..."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, I just don't like feeling helpless."

"You're not helpless...we don't make you feel that way do we?"

"No...I just...I can't do anything...it sucks."

"I know sweetie...one day at a time, ok?"

He smiled, sighing heavily, "Yup..." He added, "You're a saint – did you know that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You sit through all my s – only a saint would have that much patience."

"I didn't handle that very patiently..."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome...although, like I said, I don't do that great of a job all the time..."

"Yes you do..."

They were smiling softly at each other when Francie and Will brought dinner in. They ate dinner in quiet conversation, making plans for tomorrow, and then Will and Francie cleaned up the dishes. When they were finished, they came back in and took a place at the foot of the bed, while Sydney took her usual place next to Vaughn on the bed. She laid her head on his right shoulder gently; trying to make sure she didn't make his back press into the bed at all.

Vaughn smiled as he felt Sydney do that. It was so normal, so domestic, and he missed those small things. He spent a glorious hour and fifty-nine minutes laughing at the movie and feeling Sydney's laughter on his shoulder.

It was close to 10:00 when the movie ended, and Sydney thought that they should get to bed so Vaughn could make sure to have a good night's rest.

Will and Francie exited saying goodnight and telling Sydney to call if she needed help getting Vaughn reclined. Sydney got ready for bed and then helped Vaughn do the same.

They were both relatively silent, but they shared smiles that said all they needed to.

As she buttoned up the shirt of his pajamas, he looked up at her. He covered her hand with his, stopping her buttoning process.

"You ok?" she asked.

He nodded.

She smiled, "Did you need something?"

He nodded again.

"What?"

"You...I need you..."

She smiled, but tried to be as serious as possible, "Do you think that's a wise idea?"

"I need you on top..."

"Oh...are you sure that's not going to hurt you?"

"It hasn't all the other times we've done it..."

She smiled, "Only if you're sure..."

"I am..."

"Ok...I should go tell Will and Francie that we won't need their help though...otherwise, they could, you know, walk in...but I don't want to hurt you if I have to move you by myself..."

"Call them later..."

She smiled slyly, "Ok...be right back..."

She gave him a quick kiss and bounded out the door.


	96. Stay With Me

**Chapter 96: Stay With Me**

_"Since the moment I spotted you / Like walking round with little wings on my shoes  
My stomach's filled with the butterflies...ooo and it's alright  
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud / I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down  
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied / ooo  
Pre-Chorus: Every time I try to talk to you / I get tongue-tied  
Turns out that everything I say to you / Comes out wrong and never comes out right  
Chorus: So I'll say 'why don't you and I get together and take on the world / and be together forever  
Heads we will and tails we'll try again' / So I say 'why don't you and I hold each other and fly to the moon  
and straight on to heaven / Cause without you they're never going to let me in'  
When's this fever going to break/ I think I've handled more than any man can take  
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around / ooo and it's alright  
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud / I got the feeling like I'm never going to come down  
If said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied  
Pre Chorus - repeat  
Chorus - repeat  
And slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end / Right about the same you walk by  
And I say 'Oh here we go again, oh'  
Pre Chorus - repeat  
Chorus - repeat x2 to fade" – "Why Don't You & I" – Santana & Chad Kroeger _

"No matter what the price, you can't walk away from love." – Antonio Banderas, Original Sin

* * *

Sydney looked towards Francie's room, but it was dark, so she made her way to the living room, where her two friends were cuddling on the couch.

"Hey guys..."

"Hey!" Will said, "You need help moving Vaughn?" he asked, getting ready to get up.

"No...Vaughn and I are gonna stay up for a little while. Are you guys gonna be up for awhile?"

"Yeah, we'll be around..." Will answered, settling back into the couch.

"So, if I need help later, I'll just come and get you, ok?"

"Sure, just call."

"What if you're in bed already?"

"Just wake me up..."

"Are you sure, Will?"

"Yeah, I'm sure..."

"Ok...thanks guys, good night for now," Sydney said turning.

"Night," they both said.

Sydney walked back into the bedroom, closing the door and locking it behind her.

Vaughn was sitting in the same spot, rather inanimate in form, but his eyes were an entirely different story. His eyes were vibrantly alive, watching her like prey, full of lust for the kill. She smiled seductively at him, the hint of what was to come hanging humidly in the air.

She moved over to the bed and removed his half-buttoned shirt. He made no move to help her, but turned his head down to watch her. She spread the shirt over his chest and shoulders and eased him out of it painlessly. She then moved down to his boxers which were beginning to tent in the front.

She brought her gaze to meet his, raising an eyebrow at his arousal, but his gaze didn't change.  
She reached out a hand and cupped his cheek, and she saw a flicker of vulnerability in his lustful stare.

She smiled knowingly, "You sure you're well enough for this?"

He smiled sweetly, "I need you..." he said quietly.

She returned the saccharine smile, "I know..." and followed it with a kiss that could melt ice.

She sat back and removed her shirt and her pants followed soon after. She came back to the bed wearing only her bra and panties.

She started to crawl towards him, straddling his form. She smiled naughtily, taking the waistband of his boxers in her hands and pulling them down slowly, releasing his rapidly enlarging erection.

She threw the boxers aside and moved her hands behind her to unclasp her bra. Her breasts swayed freely as she stood to remove her panties.

His head rested against the pillow; watching the whole performance through hooded eyes as his need was rapidly building.

Once she was fully naked, she straddled his legs again on the bed. She moved toward him with the intent of taking him in her mouth, but as he figured out her intention, he said, "Sydney..."

She brought her eyes up to meet his, "What honey?" she asked looking concerned.

"I need to be inside you..."

She smiled, "Ok," and moved up to straddle his lap. She framed his face with her hands and made him look in her eyes, "You sure you're ok?"

He nodded.

"I don't just mean ok to do this...I mean ok in general too..."

"Yeah...I just...I need you," he said averting her gaze.

She smiled and moved her hands to his chest momentarily before positioning herself over his straining penis. She looked up at him again as she grabbed his cock and led the tip just inside her.

His head dropped back to watch them. She came down painstakingly slow, brining her hands back to his shoulders as she lowered herself. She watched as he moaned lowly as he felt himself push into her warm, tight walls. She took the last few inches of him insider her quickly, letting herself fall into his lap.

They shared groans, with eyes closed, heads thrown back, as they both felt the affects of his full penetration, his cock nudging her cervix upward.

She stilled for a moment, just holding him tightly inside her. When she finally opened her eyes, his were still closed. She waited patiently for him to open them but he didn't. She touched his cheek an he slowly opened them.

She moved slightly, placing her hand on his lower abdomen for leverage and he grunted quietly. She had only meant to move so she could continue to hold him, but her eyes moved up to meet his, questioning the grunt.

"What's this?" she said as she moved the hand across his abs, feeling the tightness in the muscles.

He didn't meet her eyes, looking away sheepishly.

She grabbed his chin and moved his head back until he was looking at her. "Why are you tense?" she asked seriously.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Vaughn..."

He looked up at her again.

"What's this from?"

He shrugged again.

"Are you upset about something?"

"No."

"Scared?"

"Not at the moment..."

"What then? Is this why you needed me?"

He shook his head slowly; "I guess it's been there for awhile...getting worse..." he stopped looking away.

"Why didn't you tell me before? It wouldn't have gotten this tense if we worked on it earlier."

He shrugged his shoulders yet again, "You had enough to worry about...I ...I guess a lot of it was Barnett..."

"What about her?"

"I was nervous about her coming over..."

"Yeah."

"Last night didn't help – that's when it got really bad."

"Cause it hurt so much?"

"Yeah...but I was scared too..."

She leaned down and rested her forehead on his, "I was scared too..."

He looked up, jade meeting chestnut, "I'm sorry...I don't mean to scare you..."

"It's not YOU – it's what happens to you – not your fault." She paused, "I was scared because you were in so much pain, that's all..."

She squeezed him powerfully for emphasis. He groaned, closing his eyes again. "Let's work this out, ok?" she asked.

He nodded, pushing his head back into the pillow. She started moving, keeping her hands pressed against his abdomen. As she would come down on him, she would press on the muscles, making them relax and flex. Soon she had a nice rhythm going, watching his face contort in ecstasy as the muscles rippled beneath her capable hands. She loved that she could take away some of his discomfort; that the simple act of making love to him, of showing him tenderness, could ease the strain that compounded him daily.

Sydney smiled watching Vaughn as he picked up his own rhythm in tune with her own. Every time she would ground herself on him and press on his abs, he would thrust his hips slightly forward, sending him that fraction deeper and making them both moan.

For the most part, that's all he did, the small thrust after Sydney's pattern, but he was comfortable and seemed pain-free, and that was all that mattered to Sydney. She was getting enough enjoyment out of the deal anyway – when he would thrust his hips forward, even that slight amount, it would send his cock right over her clit, the friction making her moan, and she was very close to coming herself.

She backed off slightly, slowing down to make it last for both of them, but also to make sure his muscles relaxed. She wanted him to be completely relaxed by the time they finally went to sleep.

She moved slowly, reducing her pattern to circles while he was fully inside her and squeezed him in another rhythmic pattern.

He looked up at her, watching the smile spread across her face as she told him, "I want you to be relaxed...completely," she said with a squeeze, "I want to make it last for you..."

He shared a smile with her as he let her take the tension away. The tightness that had resided in his abdomen was slowly ebbing, but he could still feel the muscles were taut.

"You know what honey?" she asked slightly breathless.

"What?"

"Push up more and we'll get your muscles to relax even quicker...push up when I come down on you..."

He turned away, eyes downcast, "I can't...I just...tonight...Syd..."

She saw his distress and put her finger over his mouth, "Shh..." she said bringing his gaze back to her, "all you have to say is no Vaughn...I don't need an explanation...if you can't...you can't..."

"Syd, I just don't think I can tonight. I want to, I'm just–"

"Stop," she said, stopping her movements, "It was just an idea sweetie...we can do it this way...I know you want to, but I understand that you can't – that's fine. I love you and I'll do anything you need me to. You had a horrible night last night and it's completely understandable. I have no problem working out the tension this way...it'll just take a little longer – not that I'm complaining...I'm enjoying myself quite a bit here, so don't get guilty on me or anything..."

He smiled, "Really?" he asked.

"Yes honey, really," she said, touching his face, "Every time you thrusted before – you rubbed my clit just right. Believe me...I'm having a good time."

Vaughn smiled relieved and happy, "That bothers me..."

"What?"

"That you might not be having a good time anymore when you do this for me..."

She cupped his face and said very seriously, "Don't EVER worry about that. It's always good, no matter who's on top, doing what...ok? You – inside me – always a good thing. I always enjoy it, ok?"

He nodded.

"Now let's get these muscles relaxed..."

He smiled, "Ok."

She smiled again starting her movements, taking him inside her and pressing on his abs. As she kept up her motions, she could feel his legs start to tense and part slightly as he used move leverage on his own small thrusts. She started humming when he started to hit a sweet spot deep inside her. He smiled as he watched her move above him, slowly losing her own composure.  
She sped up her movements, making his head press back into the pillow as new sensations began to assail him.

He could feel the tension mounting in his balls, "Syd...I'm..."

"Me too," she said gripping him tightly inside her, "Listen," she said breathlessly, "When you come...you let all of this go," she instructed, pressing on his abs.

He nodded and she smiled, coming hard on his cock, her walls pulsating rhythmically; spasming wildly around him.

He followed, lunging his hips as he sent his hot splash of seed deep inside her. His head was thrown back, muscles taut.

Sydney pressed hard on his abs, "Let it go Vaughn...come hard," she said as clenched her muscles on him one more time.

He came harder, feeling himself spill violently in her. He came down slowly, his whole body limp and sated.

She smiled at him, "I love feeling you come inside me..."

He smiled back tiredly, "I do too..."

She pressed on his abs, feeling them normal again; the tension abated.

"Thank you..." he said, following it with a yawn.

She chuckled, "You're welcome...tired?"

He nodded.

"Let's go to bed...you wanna stay like this or you wanna turn over?"

"Can we just stay like this?"

"You gonna be comfortable?"

"I think so..."

"Ok," she said making a move to get off of him.

"Where are you going?" he asked, sounding like a child.

"Honey, if you want me to stay...we're going to have to move you...it might hurt you. I can still lay with you if you stay here."

"Can we just try to lay me down?"

She looked at him, smiling at the longing in his eyes, "We can try...I still have to get off of you for a minute."

"Ok."

She moved off of him, feeling some of their mixed juices leaking onto her thighs. She moved the pillows down slightly, so he was reclining more, but still not on his back.

"How's that?"

"Good."

"Are you just saying that because you want me to stay on you or because it's really ok?"

"Because it's really ok."

"Alright," she said moving back over to him and repositioning him inside her.

"I love you Sydney."

"I know Vaughn, I love you too."

She lay her head down on his chest; he was asleep in no time and Sydney went to bed with a satisfied smile on her face.


	97. Checking Up, Which is not a checkup

**Chapter 97: Checking Up (Which is not a "Check-up")**

_"That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another." – Charles M. Schulz _

"No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement." – Florida Scott-Maxwell

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." – Author Unknown

"The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity." – Francis Maitland Balfour

* * *

Sydney woke Sunday morning to a soft knocking on her bedroom door. She looked at the clock; it was 9:30. She hated to move, fearing that it would wake a restful Vaughn, but she had to answer the door. 

She eased off of him as gently as possible, and miraculously, although he shifted slightly, Vaughn did not wake.

She grabbed her robe and unlocked the door, opening it slowly.

Will was on the other side.

She looked at him strangely and came out into the hall. He held out the phone that she hadn't seen him holding. He had his hand over the receiver, "It's Mike's mom..."

"Amélie's on the phone?" Sydney asked exasperatedly.

Will nodded, handing the phone to her.

Sydney took it and walked further down the hall. "Amélie?" she said.

"Sydney...hello...how are you?"

"Oh, I'm good – you?"

"Fine...even though my lazy, injured son doesn't call and then has his mother worrying...I left Wednesday night...and it's Sunday – I hate to be overprotective, but after knowing what happened to him, I'm sort of paranoid..."

Sydney chuckled, "Well, actually it's been a bad few days..."

"Oh?"

"Yeah – very bad – lots of pain and he started therapy. It's been a whirlwind really – and honestly he hasn't been well enough to call. I'm sorry Amélie, it's my fault – I should have called..."

"No, no...you need to take care of him. I apologize for jumping to conclusions. Complete lack of tact."

"No Amélie really, you deserve to know what's going on with your son and when he can't tell you himself, I should."

"What happened?"

"Well...I guess the first thing was one of his wounds got infected. It sort of all spiraled from there. It started bleeding then another day, we sort of over-exerted again, and he's been really tired. He was in just excruciating pain a couple nights ago, which Dr. Tom thought was probably a combination of the over-exertion and his nervousness over the therapy."

"Oh poor Michael."

"It's been rough on him."

"And you as well..."

"Well, it's been a few long nights for all of us here..."

"I would have come to help, you should have called..."

"I honesty didn't even think of it, I'm sorry Amélie."

"Of course you didn't! You just need to take care of him. Tell you what; I'll just call from now on, and check-up. That way, you can concentrate on him, ok?"

"That sounds wonderful."

"Good...is he available to talk?"

"Actually, he's still sleeping."

"Oh, I hope I didn't wake him."

"No, he was asleep when I left him."

"Oh, I woke you up. I'm sorry, I'm sure you need your rest just as much as he does."

Sydney smiled, Amélie was such a wonderful mother, "It's fine, really..."

"Next time, I'll make sure to call in the afternoon. Of course, then you'll be taking a nap!"

They shared a laugh.

"Say, would you mind if I came down again this week to see him? Do you think he'll be up for that?"

"I wouldn't see why not. What day?"

"Is there one that works best?"

"Any day is fine really, but he has therapy now for an hour every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

"Ok...well, how about Thursday then?"

"That sounds great Amélie."

"Ok, I'll call later this week then to set up a time and everything."

"Ok."

"You take care now...both of you."

"I will."

"Tell Michael I called and that I love him."

"I'll do that."

"Ok, goodbye dear."

"Bye Amélie."

Sydney hung up the phone and went into the kitchen to put it back in its cradle.

Will and Francie looked up at her, "Everything ok?" Will asked.

"Oh yeah, she just wanted an update...making sure he's ok."

"That's a mom's job..."

"Uh huh," Sydney said.

"How is he?" Francie asked.

"He was still sleeping when I came out to answer the phone...but he was pretty good last night. Tired, but pretty good."

"You didn't come to get me to help you turn him over...how'd he sleep?"

"Very well actually. We just moved him down a little bit more on the pillows, so his back wasn't on the bed or anything...and he slept all night and everything, no nightmares."

"That's great Syd," Francie said.

There was a momentary pause before Will asked, "So, what do you wanna do today after he gets up? Assuming he's ok and everything."

"Well...we have to make sure to change his bandages today, I let him off the hook yesterday...and well...we have to exercise too...deep breathing...that fun stuff..." Sydney looked at Will, "Oh! You meant like what "fun" stuff we should do?"

Will smiled, "Well...bandages are a blast."

Sydney smiled back, "Well, I don't know. I think he should still take it easy. He's gonna have therapy tomorrow too, so I don't want him to be all wiped out...let's see how he is..."

"Sure," Will said.

"Of course," Francie echoed.

Sydney excused herself a few minutes later to go check on Vaughn. He was still sleeping soundly, his visage calm and his breathing peaceful. Sydney spent a few minutes watching him, if he could only be that serene all the time. If his body could only be this calm and painless every night and morning. If only his mind would still its thoughts so he wouldn't be plagued with memories that haunted him. If only...Sydney smiled, why do we always say that? The answer was quite simple: it was so much easier to think of the way things could be, the easier way, the way free of pain and suffering then it was to think of things as they really were. Reality was a much more dismal picture.

She approached the bed but noticed that Vaughn was already stirring. She put her hand on his chest as he opened his eyes and looked at her sleepily, but very happy. He smiled when he saw her, "Hey..."

"Hey there..." she said leaning down and placing a sweet kiss on his lips.

"You know...this is the second time that I've went to bed inside you and woke up without you..."

She smiled, "I know...and do you want to know why?"

He nodded.

"Because your mother called..."

"She did?"

"Yeah – she called you lazy until I told her that you've been in a huge amount of pain. I wanted to ask her if she would have rather you called while in the midst of a pain attack, but I thought that was too mean. She's worried, she said to tell you she loved you and that you're off the hook for the calling thing."

"Thanks..." he said.

"You're welcome...how are you feeling this morning?"

"I feel pretty good actually..."

"Well, I'll ask again when we've changed your bandages."

He groaned.

"I know...but I let you off the hook yesterday...and we must..." she said with a sigh.

"I know..." he whined.

She smiled, grabbing the bandage material off of the nightstand. She took the rib wrap off and then eased him back to the pillow again and began to change the bandages on his chest and ribs. The one with the tape irritation was doing much better she noticed, but a few of the other ones were showing early signs of irritation. She wasted no time putting the Cavilon on those, and then redressed them.

"Ok...now..." she looked at him, "The back..."

"Dun dun dun!" Vaughn quipped and Sydney smiled helping him sit.

She re-bandaged all of the small burns first and checked all the other ones before moving to the infected wound.

"Ok," she warned, "I'm gonna start on it now..."

He nodded.

"Maybe I should get the cloth just in case," she said bounding off to the bathroom. She came back and retook her position behind him, prodding the edge of the bandage with the cloth. It seemed that without the pressure from the pillow, the tape didn't stick as hard, and she was able to get one side off really easily.

She stopped, "Ok...that was all together too easy – I have the first side off...so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop – be prepared..."

"That's my motto..." he said.

She burst out laughing, happy that he seemed to be in such a good mood this morning.

She slowly peeled the bandage back, and it stuck to the wound somewhat, but not a lot. She went slowly so it wouldn't bleed again and had it off in a rather small time frame.

"Ok...it's off..." she said amazed.

"How's it look?" he asked.

She studied the wound. There was a small amount of blood on the bandage and the usual ooze, but the wound itself seemed to be rather dry. "Well...I'm no expert, but I'd say it looks pretty good...it's not bleeding anymore...and it looks kinda like it's not oozing at the moment. That's a vast improvement."

"Damn straight."

She smiled, "Yeah...looks pretty good..." She put more Cavilon anyway, wanting it to stay in its recuperative phase and then covered it with the TAD, using as little tape as needed. "Ok...that was strangely easy and painless, huh?"

"So where's the other shoe?"

"I don't know – hopefully, they're on our feet and we don't have to worry anymore about more dropping."

"I hope so..."

"Me too honey...me too...so, how do you feel?" she asked moving around to the front of him and easing him back into the pillow.

"Pretty good..." he smiled.

"Good...now we get to do deep breathing..."

"Come on Sydney, you're asking for that other shoe here..." he said with a smile.

"I know...but after this, we get exercises...so..."

He groaned but then settled into the pillow, "Breathe with me?" he asked.

She smiled widely and sat down with him, placing her hand on his chest and completing the breathing exercise with him.

Once they were done she asked, "How are you feeling?"

He smiled, "Pretty good..."

"Ok...we only have one more task, then we're home free..."

"Good..."

"Ok...crunches...let's start with two..."

"Two?"

"Yeah...two..."

He smiled, "I think I can do more than two...I was up to eight before the s hit the fan last time."

"TWO," she said firmly and he nodded in compliance.

She sat on his legs and grabbed his hand and the sling and pulled him up. They did two and then she lay him back, "How'd those go?"

"Good..."

"You think you can do more?"

"Yeah..."

"Ok, two more..."

He complied and they did two more, "Ok?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"Two more?"

"Yup."

They did two more, "Ok...that was eight...good..."

"Two more?" he asked.

She smiled, "You sure?"

"Yeah, I can do two more..."

"Ok," she said helping him do two more, but he surprised her when he did one after those without her help. She was still holding on to him, but she was totally taken by surprise and only caught the tail end of the crunch.

She eased him back, "That was kind of rash and...well...stupid...I mean...I know you want to push yourself, but you can't do that kind of stuff without me knowing...what if you would have hurt yourself. Did you?"

"No...I'm good...I just wanted to see if I could do it. It wouldn't have worked if you'd known..."

"It was good Vaughn," she said leaning down and kissing him fully.

"Thank you."

"Ok...how are you? I know I sound like a broken record, but I have to keep asking."

"I'm pretty good..."

"Ok...standing...last test..."

"I know..."

She helped him sit, then got off and swung his legs off of the bed, "You know...I should check the sheet Tom gave us. I don't even know anymore what you're supposed to be doing this week..."

He smiled, "What you're doing is fine..."

She smiled back, "You remember what you're supposed to do?"

"Yeah, it's only been a few days Syd."

"Right...seems like longer though..."

"I know."

She grabbed onto his hand and sling and helped pull him up to stand in front of her. Her arms moved to his waist to steady him as he wavered slightly.

"You ok?"

"Yeah...little dizzy..."

"You wanna sit?"

"No, I'm good...just give me a sec."

She stood motionless, grounding him as he got his bearings. She suddenly realized that he was naked and she was only wearing her robe.

"Vaughn?"

"Yeah?"

"You know that neither one of us have clothes on?"

"Well, you're better dressed then I am."

She chuckled, "Should we try something?"

"What?"

"If I let go, do you think you can stay standing?"

He looked at her unsurely, "Uh...I don't know..."

"Let's try...I'll stand here and just let go for a second."

"Ok," he said apprehensively.

"I'll hang onto your hand, ok?" she added when she saw his lack of confidence with the matter.

"Ok," he said more relieved.

She let go of his waist and backed up a step or two, holding onto his hand. She smiled; there stood Michael Vaughn in all his Michelangelo's David glory.

"What?" he asked, "You like what you see?"

"Very much," she said. "I'm going to let go..."

His eyes bore into hers, his smile faltering.

"It's ok Vaughn..." She let her grip lessen, and left it up to him when to let go. He let her hand go and stood by the bed. She stayed close, in case she needed to grab him, but he stayed in the one spot.

After a few seconds she asked, "Can you stand there while I get your clothes?"

He nodded, "I think so."

"Ok..." She moved then, grabbing boxers, a shirt, and a pair of comfortable pants and came back to him. He had watched for a second, but had to look away because all her movement made him feel dizzy again.

When she came back he looked back at her, "Still ok?" she asked.

"Yeah...you make me dizzy though."

"Well, that I knew," she said smiling.

He smiled back, "Well, of course...but watching you...made me feel dizzy."

"Ok," she said, "here, sit down..." she eased him down and helped him into the boxers. Once she had them on his legs, she reached for the pants. He didn't question what she was doing, having an idea anyway.

"Ok...now let's stand up," she said, helping him to stand again. Then she grabbed the boxers and pulled them up, doing the same with the pants. Then she helped him sit again, reaching for the shirt. She took off the sling and put the shirt on, replacing the sling after.

"You know what Vaughn?"

"What?" he asked as he watched her finish with the buttons on his shirt.

"I love buttons..."

"Why is that?" he asked smiling, "Because you bite them off of my shirts?"

"I only did that once..." she said returning his smile, "No, I just think they're really sexy for some reason...I think it's highly erotic to button someone's shirt or unbutton it..." she said with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't much care for them at the moment, so it's a good thing you do..."

She kissed him, "Soon honey – look, you've already surpassed your crunch quota, one on your own. You've stood more than you've ever before today...you're doing great." She kissed his forehead.

"I'm doing great today..."

She smiled, "I know..." she kissed him one more time on the lips, "I'm gonna get dressed. You wanna stay sitting or you wanna lay down?"

"I think I'll try to sit..."

"Ok..." she said moving away and getting her own items ready for the day. She dressed and then grabbed the last item for him. She was just beginning to put his socks on when the doorbell rang.

She looked up at him, "It's not even lunch yet, who'd be here this early?"


	98. Father Knows Best

**Chapter 98: Father Knows Best**

_"It is a wise father that knows his own child." – William Shakespeare _

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you is determinism; the way you play it is free will." – Jawaharlal Nehru

"Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward. They may be beaten, but they may start a winning game." – Goethe

"Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

* * *

They heard Will go to the door, "Hey!" he said.

"Hello Will."

Sydney looked at Vaughn. He said, "Your dad?"

Sydney got up, going to the door, "You be ok sitting?"

He nodded and then she went out.

"Dad?" she called on her way out, seeing him standing just outside the living room.

"Hello sweetheart," he said smiling, "I just stopped by to see how everything was going. Will was telling me it's been a rough few days."

Sydney smiled at her father's concern, "Come on in Dad, I wanna make sure Vaughn's ok - he's sitting up right now. We can talk in there, ok?"

"Of course," Jack said following his daughter.

"Good morning Francie," he said as he passed her.

"Morning Jack," she said.

Sydney got to the bedroom first, smiling at Vaughn who was sitting patiently.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I'm getting tired now..."

"Ok honey," she said moving over to help him lay back.

Jack walked in just as Sydney was getting Vaughn settled.

"Hello Michael," he said as he entered, "how are you feeling?"

Vaughn smiled, "Pretty good today," he said.

"That's wonderful," Jack said smiling.

Sydney sat down on the bed, "Yeah, it's been kinda rough on him..."

"How so?" Jack asked.

"Well, first he had an infected wound, that was very bad...then he had a very nervous therapy session with Barnett. That actually went pretty well...but after that we over-exerted and then we had a really bad, painful night, complete with the infected wound bleeding. So...it's been eventful to say the least."

"My, my...I guess so...but you're feeling better today?"

"Yeah, I am," Vaughn replied.

Sydney looked to Vaughn, "You hungry?"

"Yeah..."

"You wanna stay for lunch dad?"

"Sure, that'd be nice."

"Ok...what would you like," Sydney asked Vaughn.

He shrugged, "Whatever Francie wants to make...if she's making it..."

"I'll go tell her...be right back," she said moving off the bed and smiling at her dad on the way out.

Jack shifted unsure if he should go or stay.

"You can sit," Vaughn said pointing to the chair.

Jack sat.

"Did you stop by to check on Sydney?" Vaughn asked.

Jack smiled, "Well, yes...but to check on you too..."

"Really?" Vaughn asked.

"Of course," Jack said, "You're important to Sydney. You make her happy..."

Vaughn looked sheepishly at him.

"Well of course, I worry about my daughter, but I worry about you too...contrary to what you might think, I care about you too..."

Vaughn smiled, "Thank you."

"You're a good man and a good agent...I'm glad you and Sydney found each other."

"Me too..."

Jack smiled, "You feel up to a rematch today?"

"Yeah, I think so...you know...you make Sydney happy too...now you do..."

Jack smiled, "I made a lot of mistakes...I'm glad to hear that I've made an improvement."

Sydney walked back in after that, glancing at the two, "You two have a nice chat?" she asked.

"Yes, we did," Jack said, "Michael had agreed to another rematch so we can settle this whole issue as to who is the better Othello player."

"That should be fun," Sydney said, "I know we'll all look forward to witnessing the showdown."

"Yes...and if he ties me again, we'll have to find a new game...chess perhaps or checkers?"

"Checkers?" Vaughn said with a grin, "You want to play checkers with me old man?"

Jack laughed, "Old man! You just watch and see...when I'm kicking your young little ass in all the games!"

Vaughn laughed and Sydney joined in.

They talked for a few minutes before Sydney said, "You wanna go out on the couch today Vaughn?"

"Can we go outside?" Vaughn asked, looking like he was eight again.

Sydney smiled, "Yeah, honey, we can go outside..."

She looked to her dad, "Can you help us?"

"I'd be happy to," Jack said, rising from the chair, "What do I do?"

Sydney smiled, "Nothing yet, just a second..." she moved to sit on Vaughn's legs, sitting him up and then moved off to swing his legs off of the bed and helped him to stand before her.

Jack smiled as he watched the whole scene unfold, "That's quite amazing actually...very synchronistic..."

Sydney smiled, "Thank you...we work well as a team," Sydney said sharing a smile with Vaughn.

"Ok, dad...we each take a side and then help him walk outside...I'll take the left side...we're going to the patio..."

"Alright," Jack said moving to support Vaughn on the right.

"Ok, let's move," Sydney said starting to move to the patio.

They maneuvered Vaughn around the house, through the patio doors and out to the lawn chair that he had inhabited before. Sydney instructed her father to ease Vaughn into the chair. Once they had him down, Sydney got him settled in the chair comfortably and slightly off the chair so that his back was not pressed against the plastic of the chair.

"You cold?" Sydney asked.

"Nah, I'm good right now..."

"Ok," she said kissing him. She turned to her father, "Thanks for your help dad."

"My pleasure Sydney," Jack said.

"Yeah, thanks," Vaughn echoed.

Jack smiled.

Sydney said, "I'll go check on lunch...why don't you sit down dad."

"Ok, I'll do that," Jack said, taking a seat across from Vaughn. He looked over at the man that had stolen his daughter's heart. Vaughn's head was resting comfortably on a pillow that Sydney had brought out and his face was pointed upward, golden rays of sunlight framed his head like a halo. He smiled sheepishly as he noticed Jack's scrutiny.

"Sorry," Jack said, "I didn't mean to stare...I just realized how nice it must for you to get out of the house...just being outside...it must be hard to stay inside all the time."

"Yeah...it is...but Sydney makes it more than bareable. I'm very much looking forward to getting better though so I can get out of the house more...go somewhere...gets a little drab in the house sometimes...same walls...you know..."

"I'd imagine it would get rather cell-like..." Jack said looking at him pointedly.

Vaughn looked over at him, "I didn't say that..."

"You didn't have to...I know all about torture Michael...if you need to talk...you know...I'm...well...you can call..."

"Thank you..."

"You know why I've always liked games Michael?"

"Why?"

"Because I've always thought that if I knew the strategy and I knew the rules, and I could envision the moves, that I could solve any problem, figure anything out...but that's really not true. There are things that the best strategy cannot solve, cannot undo...game theory is a wonderful tool, but it's just that – it's just a heuristic device...that's all..."

Vaughn smiled, "I think I get it..."

"Good, cause I'm terrible at this whole fatherly thing..."

"You're doing fine," Vaughn assured him.

Sydney came out smiling at the two, "Lunch is almost ready...Francie and Will are going to bring it out here..."

"Excellent," Jack said, "I'm sure it'll be wonderful as usual..."

Sydney sat down next to Vaughn. He looked very happy to be outside. She loved that Vaughn and her dad seemed to be getting along. She'd have to ask him about that later.

"So, how's work going dad?"

"You mean do we have any leads?"

Vaughn turned his attention away from the beauty of the outdoors to their conversation.

"Yeah...do you?"

"No...not yet...have you been working on any of the files that Will–" he broke off as Will and Francie entered with lunch.

"It's ok dad, Francie knows...I thought it was time to tell her..."

Francie smiled at Jack, "Go ahead, talk spy...I'm all ears..."

Jack smiled, "The files that Will compiled?"

"I started looking through them...but we haven't done much..."

"No of course not, you've been occupied...I understand..." Jack said, meaning it.

Sydney smiled. She watched the interaction between her friends and father with interest, but what interested her more were the conversations that her father and Vaughn seemed to carry. They seemed much more at ease with each other than they had in the past, and she was grateful. Vaughn was going to be a part of her life...for good she hoped, and her father was too now...so she was glad they were getting along.

After lunch, Will and Francie cleared away the remnants and then broke out the games.  
They all watched in a huddled circle as Vaughn and Jack played another game of Othello.

It was too close to count the pieces, although Will was desperately trying to. When all the spaces were finished, Jack counted, "Well, I'll be damned," he said quietly.

"What? WHAT?" Will asked excitedly.

"Michael beat me..."

Sydney beamed from her perch next to Vaughn and kissed him on the cheek.

Jack sat back baffled, "See – that just proves what I said before..." he said looking at Vaughn, "I had perfect strategy...I planned every move and anticipated yours...and you still won...that's why it's a game...even life...it's the same game..."

Vaughn smiled, "Very true."

Will and Francie looked to Sydney for some semblance of what was going on, but she shrugged back at them because she had no more clues that they did.

"Chess?" Jack asked.

"Sure," Vaughn replied.

He put the Othello game back in the box and brought out the chessboard, setting it up with precision and detail.

For the next hour and a half, Jack and Vaughn were locked in a concentrated bubble. Will and Francie came in and out, watching and doing other things, like taking Donovan out for a walk. Sydney stayed right where she was though, through the whole thing, fascinated by the way these two very important men in her life bounced back and forth on the board. Each game they played seemed to go the same way. Her father would be ahead, then Vaughn, back and forth...and no one ever knew until the end who was in the lead for the win.

She watched intently as Vaughn strategized in his head – she swore she could see wheels turning, but her father was a mirror image...both strategizing, anticipating. She started to smile just watching the two of them, so serious.

Vaughn made his move, "Check..."

Jack's brow furrowed.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" Vaughn asked, his own brow furrowing slightly.

"Do I look like I'm doing this on purpose Michael?"

Sydney started to giggle and had to go in the house before she lost it completely. Vaughn was totally kicking her dad's ass...and she was enjoying it much too thoroughly.

When she composed herself to come out enough, they hadn't moved at all, her dad was still trying to get out of Vaughn's check.

Jack looked up at her, "I see you've collected yourself enough to return...you're quite enjoying this, aren't you?"

"I am enjoying it immensely!" Sydney said sitting down again, but this time on Vaughn's chair.  
He put his arm around her and they waited until Jack finally moved. Will and Francie returned a few seconds later after Sydney had come into the house yelling, "Vaughn's kicking my dad's ass!" and giggling uncontrollably.

Vaughn made Sydney move down to him and he whispered something in her ear that Jack couldn't hear.

She smiled and moved a piece for Vaughn, "Checkmate," she said smiling happily and leaning more into Vaughn. "Wanna play again daddy?" she asked giggling. Will and Francie laughed heartily too and even Jack had to join in.

"Now what should we play?" Vaughn asked.

"Maybe we should play something that everyone can...maybe then I'll be able to beat someone..."

Everyone laughed again.

"How about poker?" Will asked hopefully.

Sydney snickered, "I admire you're diligence Will, but do you really wanna play poker with me and these two?" she said motioning to Jack and Vaughn. "Don't you lose enough?"

"Bring it on spy girl!" he said sticking her tongue out at him.

"Very mature," Sydney said in response.

"Lets play!" Will said, grabbing the cards.


	99. House of Cards

**Chapter 99: House of Cards**

_"The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well." – H. T. Leslie _

"Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." – Steven Wright

"Life is like a game in which God shuffles the cards, the devil deals them, and we have to play the trumps." – Yugoslavian proverb

"You can observe a lot just by watching." – Yogi Berra

"We are all what we pretend to be, but, we had better be very careful what we pretend." – Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

* * *

Everyone gathered around Vaughn's chair to play. Sydney moved to his other side and removed the sling and then helped him so that he could hold the cards. They decided on five-card stud to start, using poker chips for bets. Everyone anted up and Jack dealt the cards to each player. Everyone studied their cards and play resumed, with the usual betting and calling and folding. By the time the last betting rolled around, Francie had folded, any fool could tell that Will had shit but wouldn't fold, and it was down to the three that had the best poker faces.

Sydney bet 25 and Vaughn and Will called. Jack raised 50 and Sydney called. Vaughn smiled and called as well. Will looked at the three but called as well.

They laid out there cards. Sydney had a pair of Queens, Vaughn a pair of Aces, Will a King, and Jack a pair of 4's.

Will looked at Jack, "Why did you raise? You had fours!"

Jack smiled, "Did you think I had fours?"

"Well...no..."

"Then I played my cards right Will."

Will looked dumbfounded, but they all played another round.

After about a half hour, Will and Francie were mostly on the sidelines, fascinated by the way the other three could bluff each other.

No one came out a clear winner in the poker rounds, but they all had fun nonetheless and watching Will lose time and time again because he couldn't figure out the bluffs was very amusing to everyone it seemed.

"Ok...new game," Will said, "since the spies dominated that one..." he looked at Francie, "Maybe we should get like Candy Land or Chutes and Ladders – think we could win one of those?"

Francie laughed, "Probably not Will – we've got steep competition."

Will got up to get another game.

Sydney groaned, "If he gets Clue, I'm gonna barf."

"I heard that!" he said carrying out a few boxes. He set down the boxes in front of everyone. "Fine then...how about Scrabble?"

Every consented and they started the game. They played for a while and Jack won that one.

"Well...that was fun...since Jack came up with a word worth like a bazillion points!" Will said as they put that one away.

"What now?" Sydney asked, "What else do we have?"

Will read off some titles, "Uh...Monopoly, Mastermind, Pictionary, Sorry...more card games..."

Sydney looked at Vaughn, "Well...what do you wanna play?"

"I don't have a preference..."

"Hmm...Sorry?" she asked everyone.

"Sure," Francie said.

"Works," said Will.

Jack just smiled.

"Oh...wait...that only has four players..." Will said looking up after examining the box.

"I'll watch;" Vaughn said, "I can't move the little pieces anyway...or get the cards..."

"You sure honey?" Sydney asked.

"I am capable of sitting one out," he said with a wink.

"You can be on my team," Sydney said happily.

"Ok Syd..."

They played a round of Sorry, but it went rather quickly and then they were left with decision time again.

"Actually," Francie said looking at her watch, "we should think about making dinner...you guys play something." She got up and she and Will went off to make dinner.

"What should we play now?" Sydney asked the two men with her.

"Did Will said you had Mastermind?" Jack asked.

Sydney smiled, "Yeah...you used to love that game...it was one of the only ones you'd play with me."

Jack's smile faltered.

"No, dad, I didn't mean it like that...I'm just saying...you used to like that one."

"Yes I did," Jack said slightly sadly, "I'm sorry I didn't play other ones you wanted to Sydney."

"Dad, it's fine..."

"No, it's not...I wasn't a good father...not really."

"Well, you're making it up now...let's play the game," Sydney said getting it.

Jack shared a look with Vaughn, who smiled back at him.

"You two play the first round," Sydney said handing her dad the game and sitting down again next to Vaughn.

Jack moved closer, "Do you want to put the pieces in or try to guess on the first round?"

"I'll guess," Vaughn said.

Jack smiled happily, with a hint of competitiveness. He arranged his sequence of four pegs and moved a little closer so Vaughn could move the guessing pegs. Jack's brow furrowed when Vaughn had the sequence figured out in six tries.

"Hmm..." he said, "I'm not sure I like playing games with you Michael."

Sydney started laughing.

Vaughn smiled at her, "Your turn."

Jack turned to her, "Arrange or Guess?" he asked.

"Guess," she said.

Jack arranged his sequence and Sydney set to work on figuring it out. Vaughn was giggling when she only had two guesses left and only figured out two of the pegs.

After Sydney failed to guess the sequence, Vaughn and Jack seemed unable to contain their laughter.

"Ok," Sydney said, "My turn..."

They both continued to laugh while Sydney set up her sequence, "You first dad..." she said.

He guessed her sequence in five tries.

"Damnit! How do you do that dad?" she said getting upset.

Jack shrugged his shoulders.

"Ok, Vaughn...you're turn," Sydney said as she brought the sequence over.

He looked at her and picked up the pegs, arranging them.

"Ok, you saw them, right?" she asked.

"Nope," he said, raising his hand in the Boy Scout sign, "Scout's honor."

She looked at him baffled and them moved the barrier that hid the sequence. Vaughn had guessed it on the first try.

"Ok, how did you do it?" she asked, intrigued as she took her place next to him again.

Vaughn smiled, "I know you too well..."

Sydney sat quietly for the next few minutes before Will and Francie brought dinner out.

"Really, Vaughn..." she asked as they were eating, "how did you do it?"

He looked at her, "I told you..."

"Come on...you mean to tell me you just KNEW that was what I picked? What are you psychic now?"

"No...I'm not psychic...I just...I don't know...that's what I thought you'd do."

"Wow," she said leaning down to kiss him, "that's pretty amazing."

They finished dinner and after Francie and Will had cleaned up, they came back ready to play more games.

"What are we gonna play now?" Will asked.

"I think I'm kinda gamed out..." Vaughn said.

Sydney looked at him, "You ok?"

"Yeah...you guys can play though, I'll watch..."

Will fished through the pile of games, "How about Pictionary?" he asked.

"Yes!" Francie said, and then looked at Jack, "I'm awesome at Pictionary..."

Sydney looked at her dad, "You wanna play Pictionary?"

"Uh...that's the one where you draw whatever the card says right?"

"Yeah," Sydney said smiling.

"I can try...I'm a terrible drawer."

"We could do Charades instead," Francie offered.

"That's where you act it out?" Jack asked and Francie nodded her head. "I think I'll stick to the drawing."

"Dad's on my team," Sydney said.

Francie looked at Will, "Well, I guess I'm with him then."

"Hey, you know I'm right here, don't you?" Will asked smiling.

Francie smiled, "I'm just kidding honey."

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "You sure you don't wanna play?"

"I'll just watch," he said smiling.

"You're ok?"

"Yes," he said pushing her over to her father.

"We'll go first," Francie said.

"Ok," Sydney agreed.

Will picked a slip out and looked at the writing on it, "Ok...here we go," he said looking to Francie.

Sydney started the timer as Will started drawing.

Francie studied what Will was attempting to draw.

Sydney looked at her dad and then at Vaughn. Vaughn was attempting not to laugh.

Francie couldn't take anymore, "What the hell is that Will?"

Since he couldn't talk, he gave her a "duh" look and pointed to the paper.

Time was slowly ticking away as Francie started throwing out guesses right and left. Will kept pointing to the paper but Francie couldn't make heads or tails of his scratchings.

"Time," Sydney said.

"What the hell is that?" Francie asked.

"It's a fish hook...get it?" he said pointing to the drawings, "See...this is a fish...and this is the hook – get it – like a right hook – a punch..."

Francie stared at him, "Why didn't you just draw a FISHHOOK?" Francie yelled grabbing the pen and drawing an actual fishhook.

"Well, I thought that was too easy..."

"That was like the easiest one in there! I want a new partner," Francie said.

By this time, everyone else was laughing like crazy. Vaughn was in danger of falling off the lawn chair because he was laughing so hard. Sydney came over and helped him sit up again. "Oh man," he said wiping the tears away, "that was classic! And you guys wonder why I didn't play?"

Sydney was still giggling uncontrollably when she went to get her slip with the item on it.

She studied it, thought a moment and then said, "Ok...I'm ready..."

Will started the timer, and Sydney started to draw. Jack started throwing things out right away.

After Sydney put a plus sign in between the images she drew, Jack shouted, "Sleep Walking!"

"Yes!" Sydney said.

Francie let out a "Huh! See – see what they did! They drew a person sleeping and then someone walking...they didn't make up some shit I'd never guess!"

"Fine...guess who's turn it is?" Will said.

"Mine!" Francie said, "Try to see if you can guess..." She grabbed a slip and read it and then looked to Sydney to start the timer.

"Go," Sydney said.

Francie started drawing. Will looked at the sheet, staring...

Francie looked back at him and sighed, getting angry. She poked the paper.

Will shrugged, "I don't know..."

Francie huffed and started drawing something else but time was up.

Will asked, "So what was it?"

"Ok...I did what you did...I drew two things...see – hair...and dryer – a dryer...hair dryer..."

"Well...why didn't you just draw the actual hair dryer...you know, the hand held one..."

"AHHHH!" Francie said taking the paper and rolling it up and chasing Will around the yard with it.

Vaughn was about to fall off the chair again and Sydney and Jack were finding the whole thing extremely amusing as well.

Once Francie got tired of chasing him, she sat down, "I'm so not playing with him anymore."

Will looked at everyone, "What?"


	100. Full Moon Rising

**Chapter 100: Full Moon Rising (there is so much I could say about that...)**

_"Tis the witching hour of night,  
Orbed is the moon and bright,  
And the stars they glisten, glisten,  
Seeming with bright eyes to listen  
For what listen they?" – John Keats _

"Beauty is a form of genius--is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon." – Oscar Wilde

"I haven't a clue as to how my story will end. But that's all right. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, you don't conclude that the road has vanished. And how else could we discover the stars?" – Unknown

"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." – Woody Allen

* * *

Jack was still laughing about Will when he said, "I should probably get going...it's getting late..."

"Ok dad..." Sydney said, "Thanks for stopping by..."

"Yeah, it was nice Jack..." Vaughn echoed.

"I'm glad I stopped by, it was a lovely afternoon," Jack said to everyone, "Francie, the meals were wonderful as usual."

"Thank you," she said smiling.

"Well, I'll call you later this week Sydney, alright?"

"That sounds great dad, thanks," Sydney said getting up to hug him.

He gladly accepted and then placed a kiss on her forehead. He went over to Vaughn and shook his hand, then let a hand linger on his shoulder for a moment before he moved away towards the front door.

"Bye Jack," Francie and Will said.

He waved and was out the door.

Will looked at Francie, "You wanna take Donovan for another walk?"

"Sure," she said, getting up, her anger with him abated.

They got up and waved and were out the door a few minutes after Jack left.

Sydney sat down again with Vaughn on the lawn chair, "So...you and my dad had a nice chat today?"

"Yes we did..."

"Wanna share?"

Vaughn smiled, "Why you think it was about you?"

"Maybe...but I'm just curious..."

"Well, some of it was about you...but we sort of just had a philosophical conversation about games..."

"Games?"

"Well, yeah...but it turned into more of a lesson on life...it was very father-like..."

"Really?" Sydney asked amazed.

"Yeah...he's pretty good at it if he wants to be...it was nice..."

"I'm glad...you seemed to be getting along..."

"We were," Vaughn said musingly, "It's been a long time since anyone has talked to me like that..."

Sydney smiled, "I liked seeing you kick my dad's ass though..."

"Did you now?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"Mmmhmm...you were so awesome...very cool...collected...it was very sexy," Sydney said with a smile.

She cuddled closer to him, "You had a good day today, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did...it was very nice...very normal..."

"Good..."

Will and Francie came back about a half hour later. Donovan bounded over to Vaughn.

"Hey boy, haven't seen much of each other lately, have we?"

Donovan barked and started to wag his tail as Vaughn scratched his ears in the way that only Vaughn knew how to do.

"But," Vaughn said stopping. Donovan looked up at him. "No more of this waking up Sydney in the wee hours of the morning when she's preoccupied with me...got it?"

Donovan barked again in response.

"He was hungry and thirsty Vaughn..." Sydney said.

Donovan barked again as if to say, "so there!"

"Nope – not a good excuse..."

Donovan roamed around and found a spot on the grass he liked and curled up to go to sleep.

Sydney looked over to where Donovan had planted himself, "We should think about getting him a dog house out here or something..."

"He'd like that," Vaughn said.

Will and Francie came out onto the patio. "You want me to help you guys back in the house?" Will asked.

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "I think we'll stay out for a while yet...I'll get you if we need you, k?"

"Sure," Will said smiling. "Goodnight unless I see you before then..."

"Night Will, night Francie," they both said.

"Night," she echoed.

Will and Francie walked back into the house to her bedroom and closed the door.

Sydney looked at Vaughn who was looking at her strangely.

"I thought maybe we could stay out for awhile...you know...look at the stars...maybe...other things..." she said suggestively.

"With them in the house?"

"They're in Francie's bedroom...I think Will got the idea anyway..."

"Mmm...I like that way you think Sydney..."

"Thought you might," Sydney said kissing him, "Just wait here...I'm gonna get a few blankets...might get chilly," she said with a grin.

She literally ran into the house, making Vaughn chuckle at her enthusiasm. While she was gone rummaging for blankets and whatnot, he laid his head back and looked up at the night sky.

It was a blissfully clear night, dark midnight blue sky, but no clouds. The moon was full, the great white/yellow orb shining soft light down on his face. The stars scintillated and flickered like lightening bugs performing and dancing for him. He was quite content just watching the night sky; it'd been a long time since he'd actually seen the stars and the moon. Sydney stood by the patio doorway, watching the smile on his face as he looked up at the sky. She wondered what he was smiling about, but whatever it was, it was nice to see and it made her smile as she started to walk over to him again.

"Hey," she said quietly, blankets under her arm.

"Hey," he echoed, smiling up at her.

"What'cha smiling about?"

"Lots of things..."

"Such as?"

"You...being outside...the stars...the moon...it's been awhile..."

"I know sweetie...that's why we're gonna celebrate..."

"We are?" he asked looking up at her.

"Yep..." she said as she sat on his lap on the lawn chair. She put the blankets aside for the moment.

"What is that?" Vaughn asked when he looked at the pile of blankets.

"It's a sleeping bag..." she said smiling.

"Are we sleeping out here?"

"We'll see...probably not...I don't think your body would like that too much..."

He chuckled, "Actually it might be right at home...cold...hard floor..."

Sydney looked up at him, "You wanna talk?"

"Not right now..."

"Ok," she said, looking him in the eye to make sure.

She put her hands on his chest and rubbed them up and down his shirt, finally stopping at the top button. She unbuttoned it slowly, moving agonizingly slow to the next button. He watched as she got all the buttons undone and then sat him up slightly to remove the sling and the shirt from him.

She moved to her own shirt next, undoing the few buttons and then raising her arms and lifting it over her head. Vaughn took the opportunity of her momentary sightlessness to sneak a kiss on her bare skin. She shivered slightly when she felt him, his breath and mouth hot on her skin. She threw her shirt on top of his and then brought her hand around to his neck and held onto him as he lavished her chest with gentle kisses.

She moved her hands down his chest to the waistband of his pants and pulled at the button there as well, and then made a large production of dragging the zipper down by moving herself down to do it with her mouth, taking the zipper between her teeth and dragging it while he watched through passion drugged eyes.

Once the zipper was down, she grabbed the waistband again and slowly pulled the pants off of his legs. Then she moved up to his boxers, complete with a tent in the front and smiled at him.

She snaked her hand inside through the opening, catching him by surprise as his breath hitched and his eyes opened wide. She stroked him and griped him powerfully, eliciting a moan from him. She moved her hand down to the balls, rolling them between her fingers and then going back to the shaft, gripping the base hard and moving it up his shaft until her hand came off of him. She rubbed the pre-come around the head, and then removed her hand from the boxers, taking a minute to make sure he watched as she licked the pre-come off of her fingers.

He groaned as he watched her, a light breeze picking up and making his skin slightly cool. The air brushed over his cock, making the pre-come on the tip of his penis cool as well.

She sat back up then, removing her own pants and throwing them over to the rapidly enlarging pile of clothing next to the chair. She stood in front of him in her bra and panties and shimmied out of the panties sexily. He looked down to her curls, seeing moisture glistening in the moonlight between her thighs. She wanted this just as badly as he did. She removed the bra, the cool air assailing her breasts, making the nipples jut out into hard peaks.

She started to move back over to him, but he held up his hand, "Wait..."

She stopped looking at him strangely.

"Just stay right there..." he said quietly, smiling at her. He watched her for a moment, her exquisite body basking in the moonlight. She looked even more like an angel while bathed and shadowed in the milky light of the full moon.

"God you're beautiful," he said in awe of her.

She smiled and started to move back over to him. She reached the chair and sat down on his lap again, taking his face in her hands and running the fingers along the contours of his face, "So are you...I love you so much Michael," she said kissing him.

He didn't have time to respond as her lips met his, taking his breath away. The moon, the stars, the noises of crickets and the wind; it all melted away. All he saw, all he felt, all he breathed was Sydney for the next full five minutes that she was kissing him passionately. As far as he was concerned all the stars and the moon, everything could have fallen from the sky and he wouldn't have cared at the moment.

She moved back and smiled, "Let's get the boxers off, ok?"

"Yeah...good idea," he said breathily, watching her as she moved down again, taking the waistband of the boxers with her. She raked her nails over his abs as she peeled the boxers down, stopping to rake her nails through the hair above his enlarged cock. Once his cock was free from the boxers, it sprang upward, poised and ready. She threw the boxers over on the pile and moved to get the sleeping bag from the pile of blankets.

"K, we're gonna have to stand you up for a second...and recline the chair too..."

He nodded, reaching out his hand to help her get him up.

She chucked, "A little eager, are we?"

"Damnit woman...if you don't hurry up...seriously...we're gonna have a problem...or you will..."

She chuckled harder, "Well, let's hurry then...but not so fast we hurt you, ok?" Sydney said seriously.

"I know Sydney...I can wait...I'm just trying to speed things up a little...I'd wait forever..."

She blushed, there they were, both stark naked in her back yard (thank God they had the fence), and he still found every possible way to be romantic...

"You truly are a wonderful man Michael Vaughn," Sydney said kissing him as she helped him stand. "Stay right here for just a second, ok? You be ok?"

"Yeah," he said watching as she sat in the lawn chair and reclined it more. Then she grabbed the sleeping bag and spread it out over the chair, keep it unzipped enough so he wouldn't have trouble getting in it. Once she was satisfied with that, she got the pillows ready too so that his back wouldn't be pressed on the chair. Then she stood and grabbed his hand, helping him ease back down into the lawn chair.

Once he was seated and settled, she sat back down on his legs and zipped the sleeping bag slightly, leaving them enough room to move. She moved her body forward, covering his and kissed him intensely. She darted her tongue out to trace the contours of his lower lip, taking it in her teeth and pulling softly. He smiled and pushed his own into her mouth, dueling and caressing until they were both breathless.

She backed away and sat up again in his lap. She pressed her hands against his abdomen, "How are you doing here?" she asked him seriously.

"Good...it's been a good day...I'm very relaxed," he said smiling.

"Good...then we can relax you some more..." she replied with a raised eyebrow and a glint of mischief.

She reached around and took hold of his cock suddenly, taking him by surprise again. She smiled at his reaction and stroked him from base to tip a few times. She pushed herself up and placed him at her folds.

"God Sydney, your so wet..." Vaughn said breathlessly looking at her moist center, juices now coating her thighs.

"I wonder why?" she chided smiling devilishly as she pushed the head of his cock into her. He moaned and closed his eyes, arching his back to make her take more, but she held off, moving up more so he couldn't press in further. She fluttered her muscles on the head, causing another long, drawn out moan from him. She smiled as she watched him struggle, wanting to be in her so much. She complied a moment later, letting herself ease down slowly until his length was buried inside her.

Any breeze that tickled Vaughn's naked form instantly desisted the moment he felt himself buried in Sydney's heat. They spent a few moments just feeling each other, Sydney resting her hands on Vaughn's chest and her forehead against his. Their breathing in harmony, breathing each other's breath.

Sydney smiled as she squeezed him, bringing forth a delicious moan from deep in his chest. He pushed up with his hips, feeling himself stroke against her hot and pulsing walls.

She sat up, pushing herself back to sit on his lap. Her breasts swayed with the motion, bouncing gently as she began to move atop him. Vaughn watched in fascination as the light breeze blew her hair back, off of her face as she rode him. He brought his hand to her hip, and then moved it to her clit, worrying it for her. Her head dropped back as a moan let loose; a deep guttural moan that let him know he'd done a good job. He smiled as he continued to twiddle it for her, her hip movements and thrusts becoming erratic as she moved ever closer to the precipice.

She came forcefully, milking his cock as she climaxed. She looked down at him as she came, willing him to come with her. His hips lunged forward as his face contorted in pleasure, feeling the clenching of her climaxing muscles around his sensitive cock. When he came, he made sure he kept his eyes open, locked onto Sydney's moving form; her naked body glowing in the moonlight, framed by the black ocean of sparkling diamonds high behind her in the sky. She collapsed on his chest, his cock still twitching in aftershocks inside her as her own walls spasmed gently around him.

Vaughn looked down at Sydney, stroking her hair as her breathing became more regulated. The stars were twinkling above them like glitter; sparkling brightly. He sighed heavily, content.

Sydney brought her head up to look at him, "You ok?" she asked.

"I'm great," he said smiling.

She smiled back and placed a sweet kiss on his lips, then moved down again, bringing the sleeping bag up to them, and zipping it shut. The chill that had settled into their sweaty bodies was reduced when Sydney helped bring them back to warmth. Body heat was really a great thing, Vaughn thought to himself. The slight whisking of the breeze didn't bother him in the least, he had Sydney on top of him to keep him warm, but he doubted he could ever be cold in her presence anyway. He was lost in his thoughts, musing about Sydney when he saw her looking up at him, her eyes gleaming like two stars picked from the sky.

"What?" he asked.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing..."

"I was just thinking about you..."

"Yeah?"

"Of course..."

"What were you thinking?"

"How amazing you are...beautiful...patient...sexy...you look good in moonlight..."

She smiled, "You don't look so bad yourself Mr. Vaughn..."

He turned to look at her seriously, "I love you...not just because of this..." he said referring to their sexual escapade.

"I know honey..." she said, "I love you too..."

He smiled, "Are we gonna sleep out here?"

"Mmm...I don't think so...but we'll stay here for awhile, ok?"

"Yeah...I'd like that..."

"Good, me too," she said returning her head to his chest.

After a while of just taking in the night sky and the sounds around them, Sydney sighed, "We should probably go inside Vaughn."

"Mmm..." he said, "does that mean we have to move?"

She chuckled, "Yeah, it does..."

"Hmm...I don't like that idea...I like it right here."

"I know honey, but we can't stay out here all night. You'll get too cold..."

"You're keeping me quite warm."

She chuckled again, "I really don't think it's a good idea for you to stay out here all night."

He sighed, then whined, "Ok."

She got up and off of him moving the sleeping bag off of them.

Once the air hit him, "Ok...now it's cold," he said.

Sydney threw on her clothes and helped him into his boxers, "If we get you in the house quick, we can just leave everything else off."

He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh stop you nympho!" Sydney said laughing.

"Can you blame me?" he asked as he surveyed her wrapping up the sleeping bag.

"You're incorrigible...let's wrap you in this, ok?" she said holding up a blanket.

He nodded and let her wrap him up.

"Do you think we can make it in? Or should we get Will?"

"Do you really want Will to come out here knowing full well what we've been doing?"

She smiled, "If it was the choice between that and your health – you not getting hurt, then yes..."

"Let's try at least..."

"Ok," Sydney said slightly apprehensively, but she was willing to give it a try.

She helped him sit up and then stand as well. She gripped him around the waist and looked up at him, "You ok?" she asked.

He smiled and nodded.

"Ok," she said taking a few tentative steps backward, taking him with her. He held onto her waist with his good hand and looked into her eyes as they walked.

They made it to the patio door; stepping over the slight hump between the doors, Sydney making sure Vaughn was still ok to continue. He leaned on her more the second half on the way to the bedroom, but they made it there – that was the important thing.

She moved him to the bed, and helped him sit down; and he did so tiredly, plopping more than sitting on the bed. She noticed he was slightly out of breath as well since they always had to leave the oxygen behind and then move it back to him afterwards. She ran off to get it and smiled at him softly on her return, understanding his fatigue. She went to the bathroom after she had the oxygen hooked up and grabbed a washcloth, coming back to the bed and sitting behind him to check the infected wound.

She took the cloth and pried the tape up like normal and then gently peeled the bandage off.

"Well...I mean, it still looks bad, but I really think keeping the pressure off your back is helping a lot."

"That's good," he said softly.

"Does it still hurt honey?"

"Yeah, but it's not as bad..."

"I'll get you some more pain medication before we go to bed," she said getting off the bed after cleaning and redressing the wound. She came back with the pills, which he took and then she looked at him seriously, "How are you doing otherwise?"

He smiled at her hinting tone, "I'm ok Syd...I'm trying not to think too much about tomorrow, ok?"

"Yeah...ok..."

"Can we go to bed now? I'm kinda tired..."

"Sure honey," Sydney said, helping him recline back. She turned off the lights except the one and then lay down next to him, resting her head on his chest, "Goodnight Vaughn."

"Night Syd," he said yawning, "I love you."

"I love you too honey."

Vaughn drifted off quickly, but Sydney stayed awake for a while, thinking about what tomorrow would once again bring. She doubted that Barnett was going to let her stay in the room this time, and the thought of it terrified her. She wasn't scared for herself; she was scared for Vaughn. She drifted off restlessly, thinking about all the things that Barnett might say to him.


	101. Manic Monday

**Chapter 101: Manic Monday**

_"The art of love...is largely the art of persistence." – Albert Ellis _

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." – Phyllis Diller

"It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." – Sally Kempton

* * *

Sydney woke on Monday morning, looking at the clock – it was almost 9:00. She picked her head up from Vaughn's chest and looked up, expecting to see him still sleeping. His eyes were open and he was looking down at her, smiling softly.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," he replied.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Not too long..."

"Why didn't you wake me..."

"Because you were sleeping," he said simply.

She chuckled, "You could have woken me..."

"Nah, you need your sleep...I don't want to wear you out..." he said with a sly grin.

"No, we don't want that..." she said snuggling back into his chest. He wrapped his arm around her tighter, and they stayed huddled on the bed for a while.

Sydney sighed and then said, "Are you hungry?"

"Sure," he said, then added, "Can we eat without you leaving the bed?"

"Mmm...don't think so..."

"Damn."

"Yeah, sorry..." she said moving away. She grabbed her robe and smiled as she left the room. Once she was in the kitchen she saw a note on the counter, written in Will's handwriting: "_Syd – hope you got in ok last night. Fran & I left for work early; we won't be back until late tonight. We're going to go to dinner, maybe catch a movie. I'll have my cell if you need anything. Don't be afraid to call. Hope you have a good day. Love ya, Will_"

She smiled as she finished the note, momentarily heading back to the bedroom. Vaughn smiled at her when her head appeared in the doorway. "Will left a note – they won't be back until LATE tonight," she said.

"Ooo...we're gonna be alone tonight?"

"Looks that way..."

"Great," he said happily.

She smiled, "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Mmm...pancakes?"

She smiled, "Sure...do I have to make Mickey Mouse ones or is that just a mom thing?"

Vaughn laughed, "Nah, the regular ones will be just fine..."

"Ok," she said going out of the room again and into the kitchen to make the pancakes.

Sydney brought in a tray a little while later, with the breakfast and his medication.

"What do you wanna do today?" Sydney asked as they ate.

"You already know what I wanna do..."

"Yeah, besides that – we have to do the usual – exercises, bandages...maybe we could do a bath today," she said thinking out loud.

"Bath would be fun," he said smiling.

"A bath to WASH, Vaughn..."

"Aww..."

"Sorry honey, but sometimes we have to be practical."

"Don't think I like practical..."

She smiled at his childishness as he pouted over the rest of breakfast. She cleaned up after breakfast and then entered again, "You wanna do that bath? We can change the bandages in there then. You think you and I can get you there?"

"We got here last night..."

"Yeah, but we'd have two ways this time – we only did one way last time."

"I think we can try it...what's the worst that could happen – I get stuck in the tub...and Barnett has to help..." he smiled.

"You know, that's not really funny Vaughn," Sydney said trying desperately to suppress a laugh, "Let's try it..."

Vaughn nodded and reached out his hand to Sydney, who took it and helped him sit up, then stand. She looked at him making sure he was ok to start moving and when he nodded again to assure her, she started moving backwards. He followed, watching her eyes again. She smiled when they reached the bathroom, "Well, here we are...you ok?" she asked touching his face.

"Yeah, I'm a little out of breath, but I'm good..."

"Does looking me in the eyes help?"

"Yeah – I don't get dizzy that way..."

"Good...cause I like it," she said smiling again.

"Me too..."

"Ok...let's get you undressed," she said.

"Yeah, that's what I like to hear!"

"Vaughn...you're bad..."

"Yeah, but that's why you love me..."

"One of the reasons."

He smiled as she helped him out of his boxers and sat him in the chair next to the tub. As it filled, she removed bandages and wraps, checking the infected wound. She still couldn't see much of a change, but it looked better.

"Ok," she said, "let's get you in the tub," she said as she helped him stand and get into the tub. She eased him in and he sunk into the warm water with a sigh, closing his eyes and letting his head drop back.

"Why don't you soak for a while, just relax," Sydney suggested, thinking of the therapy later...maybe this would help.

"Soak alone?" he asked looking up at her.

She smiled, "If I get in there, you KNOW what will happen..."

"And that's bad why?"

"We'll see Vaughn, ok? You relax for a while..."

"But you help me relax..."

She smiled sitting on the edge of the tub and touching his face, "I know sweetie...I think you should rest though...save your strength..."

He looked down into the water, "Ok."

"Vaughn...hey," she said making him look at her again, "I'm not rejecting you or anything...I would never deny you something you want or need...ok?"

He nodded again.

"I just want you to rest..." she mused at his expression, one of masked hurt and rejection, "Vaughn..."

He looked up at her, "It's ok...I understand..."

"No, I don't think you do...I'm not being mean...and it's not that I don't want to either...I love making love with you..."

"I know...you just want me to rest...I got it..."

"I just don't want you to be tired when Barnett gets here..."

"It's ok Sydney..."

"You're taking this the wrong way..."

"You've never said no before..."

"Vaughn, I'm not saying no...I'm just saying later..." She said trying to make him understand.

"Ok," he said.

She decided it would be useless to continue with this now, so she got up and got dressed, getting his clothes ready and picking up a little bit before she went back into the bathroom.

"Let's wash you, ok?"

He nodded, sitting up slightly to let her wash him. The rest of the bath was relatively silent, the only sounds coming from the moving water or from suds as they were worked over his body.

When they were done, Sydney let the water out and moved to help him out of the tub. She sat him on the chair and dried him off and then set about dressing the wounds again. Each time she did it, it took her less and less time; she had begun to pick up a rhythm that allowed her to dress them more quickly, yet still do a good job.

She did the ones on his back first, leaving the infected one and then moved to the front, dressing the wounds there. She moved last to the infected wound, inspecting it again before dressing it. She rewrapped his ribs, helped him stand, placed a robe on him and they moved back to the bedroom slowly. He didn't look at her eyes this time however, and by the time they reached the bed, he looked pretty nauseous.

"Vaughn, are you ok?" she asked as she sat him down.

He nodded, closing his eyes momentarily.

"That was really stupid Vaughn..." she told him as she bent to get the clothes for him to wear.

He sighed, not really wanting to respond.

"Why did you do that? Why didn't you just look at me? You're being childish – I didn't refuse to have sex with you...excuse me for wanting you to be well rested when Barnett gets here..."

He looked up at her and she was surprised by his expression. It was one of anger and repressed emotion. He began eerily calmly, "No, excuse me for asking for something that I thought would not only relive the current terror that is rising in me, but also let us connect again."

She straightened up, handed him the boxers and walked out.

"How the fuck am I supposed to get these on?" he yelled after her.

She appeared in the doorway, "We don't need to have sex to connect...if you wanna act like a baby because I told you once that we should wait to have sex, then you go right ahead...figure out how you're gonna get those on yourself."

He tossed the boxers out the door and said under his breath, "fuck."

Sydney stood outside the door; she saw the boxers come flying out. Had she been in a better mood, she would have laughed, but this wasn't funny. She knew she couldn't stay out there long, he had no clothes and no oxygen and he was sitting up, and he'd hurt himself trying to do it himself. But she had to just take a minute before she went back in. She grabbed the boxers and went back into the room.

When she entered, he was looking off at the wall, sitting where she'd left him, his breathing becoming somewhat labored. He turned when she came in, but he didn't say anything. She kneeled down in front of him and helped him get the boxers on. She moved to get the rest of his clothes, and got him in them wordlessly too.

The first words she spoke were, "Let's sit you back..."

He didn't say anything, but he let her help him back onto the bed. She put the oxygen under his nose and was just as gentle as she always was, but she was distant. Once she was done, making sure he was comfortable, she sat down on the edge of the bed, slightly away from him.

He studied the comforter, trying to figure out what to say to her, but he couldn't come up with anything. It seemed that she didn't have the words either.

They sat that way for several minutes, neither saying a word.

Finally she broke the silence and said quietly, "I'm going to do some work, do you wanna help?"

He looked over at her, but she wasn't facing him, "Sure."

"Ok, I'll go get the files," she said as she got up.

Vaughn watched her go, thinking about what she had said.


	102. Work Related

**Chapter 102: Work Related **

_"It is only when I am doing my work that I feel truly alive. It is like having sex." – Federico Fellini _

"My work is a game, a very serious game." – M. C. Escher

"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man." – Elbert Hubbard

* * *

When Sydney came back in she had his laptop and a bunch of files in her hands. She sat the laptop on his lap and said, "Log in..."

He nodded, deciding that maybe his silence would be the best thing. He waited until the computer booted up and then clicked on the link that would get them into the CIA mainframe.

"Ok," he said.

She spread the files out, sitting on the bed next to him. She spent several minutes just reading.

"What are we supposed to do?" Vaughn asked after a few more minutes.

"We're compiling information on possible associates of Sloane. Looking for clues, things that might have been missed; things that might indicate where he is now."

"Ok," Vaughn said, "What do you want me to do?"

She was still rather angry with him, but she didn't want to talk about it now. She knew he felt bad, and she didn't want to see him uncomfortable like he was now, but she just couldn't talk about it yet; it would only make her angry.

She handed him a file, "We're doing boring work...mostly just reading...taking notes on things that stick out..."

He nodded, "How am..." he stopped.

She looked over at him, worried that something happened, but he was just sitting normally.

"How are what?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said.

"Vaughn...just because we had a fight doesn't mean I don't care...what's wrong...are you ok?"

"I'm fine...I just don't know how I'm gonna take any notes here..."

She smiled, she felt bad now; she'd walked out on him again, although he seemed to have taken this one better than the last.

"You wanna talk about what happened?" she asked.

He looked over at her, "I'm sorry," he said.

"Me too..."

"You didn't do anything...I..." his voice got quieter, "I hope you don't really think that..."

"What?"

"That we can only connect when we're having sex...that's not true...I just...I don't know..." he stopped then continued, "you have every right to tell me no...if you don't want to have sex Sydney and I do, that's my problem...I didn't mean to say that you had to have sex with me every time I ask...you don't...if you don't want to..." his eyes were trained on the comforter again.

"Vaughn," she said, making him look at her, "I do want to have sex with you...all the time honey...I did today...it's just sometimes I think it wears you out more than it helps...I just didn't want you to be tired when Barnett gets here...I think that's going to be tiring enough...I wasn't rejecting you...really, honey, I wasn't."

"I know...I know that...I did know that...It just scares me..."

"What does? Barnett?"

"How much I need you..."

She moved closer to him, "Vaughn, don't ever be scared of that...I need you too honey...and it gets intense...I know...I'm sorry, I didn't explain what I said well enough."

"Yes you did...I'm just...it's me..."

"No honey...it always seems that it's both of us..."

He smiled, "Well...I'm the fucked up one..."

"No you're not...you just need to work through it...that's all...you're not fucked up Vaughn..."

He looked over at her, "I'm sorry...I was being childish...you can tell me no Sydney..." he said seriously.

"I'll never tell you no...I just might tell you later, ok?" she said kissing him after he nodded, "We good?" she asked.

He nodded again, smiling.

"Ok," she said turning to the files, "Maybe you can type the notes?"

"Well...it'll take a helluva long time, but yeah...I can type them..."

"Or just read and then summarize for me, and I'll do the notes...k?"

"Yeah, ok," he said smiling at the amazing woman next to him.

They both spent some time reading; "This guy has been a known associate of Sloane's for years and no one has ever touched him...why?" Sydney asked as she handed the file she was reading to Vaughn.

He took it and glanced over some of the information; "Because no one can find him...look at all of these locations – the guy's completely mobile...he's never in the same spot. Look – bank records, phone records – he could be anywhere...what's his name again?"

"Uh..." Sydney said fishing through the file, "Alexander Vespertini."

"Hmm...can I see that again?"

She handed him the file.

"I know that sounds really familiar...why?" he said brow furrowed in confusion.

"I don't know...should it be familiar?" Sydney said looking over his shoulder at the file, "I don't know...it doesn't jump out at me as something we should remember..."

"The name is really familiar..."

"I don't know..."

"Hmm...anyway...what else we got?" Vaughn asked, setting the folder aside.

"I can take that one and put it with the other ones that we're done with," Sydney offered.

"No, I'm gonna keep it here...look at it later..."

"Ok," she said, grabbing another couple folders and handing one to him.

They worked for a while, completely losing track of time. Sydney asked, "Are you hungry?" as she looked at the clock, "Holy shit!"

"What?" Vaughn said jumping slightly and then wincing because he moved too fast.

"Sorry honey...shit, it's 1:00...Barnett will be here in an hour..."

"Oh," Vaughn said softly and rather unhappily, "yeah, I'm getting hungry..."

"I'll go make some sandwiches," Sydney said getting off the bed.

"Alright," Vaughn said, but he wasn't really paying attention anymore. He picked up the file from before and said quietly to himself, "I know that name...Vespertini...Vespertini..." his mind raced as he tried to place where he'd heard that before.

Sydney brought in the sandwiches a few minutes later. She saw him studying the file again intently, "You figure anything out?" she asked.

"No...not yet..." he said setting the file down and accepting the sandwich.

"Hmm...well maybe it'll come to you later," she offered.

"Maybe..."

She sat down next to him.

"I really liked this..."

"What?"

"The work...gets my mind off of stuff...even if it's all about Sloane, it's nice to do something useful for a change."

Sydney smiled, "I find you very useful..."

"Thank you...but it's nice to be useful in other ways..."

"It'll get better Vaughn."

"I know, but thanks...for letting me help."

"If it was me, I'd need to help too..."

He smiled, she knew him so well.

They began eating and had just enough time to finish eating and get cleaned up, putting the computer away and the files away before Barnett got there.

"Keep that one out..." Vaughn said as Sydney grabbed the Vespertini folder.

"Ok...I'll put it on top."

"Ok."

She took the work out of the bedroom and back to the computer room. She was on her way back to Vaughn when the doorbell rang. It was 1:58.

Sydney quickly went to the bedroom to make sure Vaughn was ok. He nodded and smiled, and then she went to the door...


	103. Barnett's Barrage, Part One

**Chapter 103: Barnett's Barrage, Part One**

_"In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to time." – Edward P. Tryon _

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven." – John Milton

* * *

Sydney opened the door and smiled at Barnett on the other side.

"Hello Sydney," she said pleasantly.

"Hi Dr. Barnett," Sydney responded, moving out of the doorway.

Barnett stepped in, "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine...yourself?"

"I'm good..."

"Vaughn's in the bedroom," Sydney motioned towards it.

Barnett smiled and started to walk to the bedroom, Sydney in tow.

Vaughn managed a smile for Barnett as she walked in, "Hi," he said quietly.

"Hello Michael," she said as she sat down in the chair next to the bed.

Vaughn looked over at Sydney and then back to Barnett, "Sydney can't stay today, can she?" he asked in his little boy voice.

"No Michael, she can't stay..."

He nodded. Sydney smiled sadly at him, her heart breaking for him. She approached he bed and kissed him, whispering in his ear, "I'll be right outside if you need me..."

He smiled weakly and kissed her back.

Sydney got up, smiled at Dr. Barnett and went to the door. She took one last glance at Vaughn, blowing him another kiss and shut the door behind her.

She leaned against the wall after she closed the door, her own eyes closing as she imagined how scared he must be. She sighed because there was nothing she could do at the moment to help him through this. She moved away from the door slowly, into the living room. She tried to watch TV, then read, but she gave up. She was too nervous about what might be occurring in the next room to concentrate on anything else. So she did the only thing she could do...wait...

The bedroom door shutting brought on a familiar feeling of dread to Vaughn. It was like they had just closed the door to the cell again, the torture was about to begin. He, of course, didn't voice that thought, but he was absolutely terrified. His lifeline was not in the room, and he had no clue how he was going to do this without her.

Barnett recognized the signs of distress straight off. Tension and anxiety were pouring off of him in waves. She tried her most calming smile, "Just relax Michael...ok?"

He nodded, but it was futile. Nothing she could say would make him less apprehensive.

"How are you feeling today Michael?"

"Fine..." he said.

She smiled, "Have you had any setbacks lately?"

"Setbacks?"

"Yes, Michael, setbacks..."

"Physically?"

"Or otherwise..."

"Well...yeah...couple nights ago was bad..."

"What happened?"

"Just lots of pain..."

"From what?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Tom said it could have been a lot of things...I don't know, you'd have to ask Syd, I was out of it..."

"Tom? That's Dr. Tom Barker, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Out of it? What do you mean by that?"

"It hurt...eventually they sedated me...I passed out."

Barnett made a note on her note pad; Vaughn really hated that thing already.

"So Dr. Barker came over to help?"

"Yeah...I...yeah..." Vaughn said.

"Does he do that often?"

"Well...he checks up on me once a week...otherwise he comes over if there's something wrong..."

"Something wrong?"

"Setback or whatever..."

"I see...so does he come over when Sydney isn't able to handle the situation?"

Vaughn turned to her, "Excuse me?" he asked in a not too friendly tone.

"Dr. Barker – does he come over when the situation gets too intense for Sydney to handle?"

"He comes over when he needs to...it has nothing to do with Sydney's 'capabilities.'"

"How does Sydney handle your setbacks?"

"She handles them very well...I was bleeding...and in pain...so she called Tom..."

"I see...otherwise, how does Sydney handle problems?"

"What do you mean?"

"How do you think Sydney handles your care here?"

"She does a great job," Vaughn said proudly, "She takes wonderful care of me."

"Does she ever get stressed out do you think?"

"Well...sure...I'm sure she does..."

"How do you think she's handling the stress?"

"Fine..." Vaughn eyed her apprehensively, "Why are you asking me this?"

"Do you think she's capable of handling more setbacks if you have them?"

"Of course, why wouldn't she be?"

Barnett took a few notes.

"Damnit, would you stop writing and tell me what the hell you're trying to get at here? I mean...Sydney takes great care of me...she's wonderful, I couldn't ask for anyone better..." he stopped, looking away, "She means everything..." he said quietly.

"That's scary, isn't it?"

"What?"

"When one person means so much..."

Vaughn was silent.

"How about your nightmares? How have they been lately?"

"Fine..."

"Do you have them often?"

"Not really...not anymore..."

"Why is that do you think?"

"I guess some of it is just because I've been kind of exhausted. I don't think I dream much...I had one nice one a while ago...after my other setback..."

"Other setback?"

"Yeah – the one Sydney told you about..."

"Ok...what was the dream? The nice one?"

Vaughn looked at her quickly and then looked away, blushing slightly, "Me and Sydney..."

"How was it different?"

He shifted uncomfortably on the bed, "Uh...no torture..."

"Is that what the nightmares are always about?"

"Yup."

"How does Sydney deal with your nightmares?"

Vaughn shifted uncomfortably some more, "Um...we talk...and...other...stuff..." he trailed off finding a really interesting piece of the comforter to look at.

"It's ok to tell me Michael, I'm sure I've heard it before..."

Vaughn looked in her direction, smiling slightly, "Uh...she holds me and stuff like that..."

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Isn't that what you've been doing for the past half hour?" Vaughn asked smiling.

"Well...yes..."

"Yeah, you can..."

"You don't have to answer it, ok?"

"Yeah."

"Does Sydney make love to you when you have a nightmare?"

Vaughn reddened even further, "I don't think I'm comfortable discussing my sex life with you Dr. Barnett...I'm not really even comfortable discussing my other stuff..."

"I'll take that as a yes...it's ok Michael...sexual expression is a wonderful healing tool..."

Vaughn looked over at her, "Really?"

"Of course...there is no way you can feel dehumanized during intercourse...unless it were a rape situation...you may feel vulnerable, but you can't feel degradation...not with your situation with Sydney. Patients who have Post Traumatic Stress tend to have abnormal levels of key hormones that are involved in responses to stress. Those levels carry over after the ordeal, and that can lead to the blunted emotions that are associated with the condition. The endorphins produced during intercourse bring happiness, they alleviate pain, they elevate moods...plus, you're connecting intimately with the person that makes you feel the most safe..."

"Sydney is safety..."

Barnett smiled, "I can tell..."

Vaughn smiled, "She's amazing...I've never felt as safe with anyone before...nothing can hurt me when I'm with her...ins–" he stopped, catching himself.

Barnett was smiling; it didn't take a rocket scientist or a psychiatrist to figure out what he was about to say.

"Sounds like Sydney takes good care of you then..."

"Yeah she does..."

Barnett didn't ask anything else, and Vaughn found himself thinking about Sydney during the silence...Before he knew it, he said, "we were on the couch one night...and I was looking at the fire...it reminded me of...well...it reminded me...and Sydney was sleeping..." he smiled, "when she woke up she was wondering what the hell was the matter with me cause I was like deathly afraid of the fireplace..." he smirked, "but...I'm not afraid of the fire anymore..."

"Why?" Barnett asked quietly.

"She made me forget...I don't think about burns anymore...I think about her..."

"What did she do?"

"She made lo–" he stopped suddenly very uncomfortable. He looked over at Barnett who was looking at him quizzically. He shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"Why did that help?"

"Honestly...it's really hard to think of torture when all you can see is Sydney..."

Barnett smiled, "I think that's enough for today Michael...this has been very productive..." she said getting up, "I'll see you on Wednesday, take care..."

"Ok...thanks..." he said quietly.

Sydney got up as Barnett walked out of the bedroom.

"I'll see you Wednesday Sydney..."

"Ok," Sydney said, unsure of what to say. She let Barnett out and then went back to Vaughn.

"You ok?" she asked, sitting concernedly on the bed.

"Yeah...actually..." he smiled.

"So it wasn't so bad?" she asked.

"No...we mostly talked about you..."

"Me?"

"Yeah – you and how wonderful you are..."

"Aww...Vaughn," she said kissing him, "Maybe this won't be so bad then honey..."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"That took longer than the last one..." Sydney said, "I was kinda worried..."

Vaughn smiled, "I'd yell if she was killing me..."

Sydney smiled back, "Yeah...well...you'd put up a fight – I'd hear her strangling you or something."

"Right..."

She kissed him, "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really...not right now...I think I need to..." he stopped, thinking, "process?"

"Sure honey...I'll leave you alone for a while..." she said making a move to leave.

"Can you stay actually?"

She looked back at him and cocked her head to the side, "Sure...you sure you're ok?" she asked as she came back and sat down next to him.

"Yeah...I can process with you here..." he said quietly, reaching for her hand as she sat.

Once she was sitting, he pulled on her hand until she got the idea; he wanted her to hold him. She was getting rather worried by his actions, but she complied, pulling him into her arms as he settled into her. She started playing with his hair, making him settle into her further and sigh in relief.

"You like when I do that, don't you?" she asked softly.

He nodded, but he didn't say anything.

Sydney was quiet then, just holding him as he thought. If she looked down, she could see him thinking; his body still, regulated breathing, but his eyes moving continuously, roving over the room, thoughts battling in his head.

"You don't..." he started, but stopped.

"What honey?" she asked.

"Do you feel overwhelmed?" he asked, his eyes still continuing to move around the room.

She stopped playing with his hair, and waited until he strained to look at her. She moved him off of her and moved so she could look him in the eyes.

"No Vaughn, I don't feel overwhelmed...why do you ask?"

He shrugged his shoulders, looking down.

"Vaughn," she said, moving his chin to look at her, "Did Barnett say that I'm overwhelmed?"

He shrugged again, "Maybe you are..."

"I'm not," she said firmly.

He smiled slowly, "Ok..."

She looked him hard in the eyes again, "I'm not." She looked at him until she knew that he had gotten the seriousness of her statement.

"You'd tell me if you were, right?"

"Yes, but I'm not," she said one more time for emphasis.

"Ok," he said.

She looked at him strangely, knowing full well that he didn't seem to believe her, but she didn't know what else to say to convince him.


	104. Dinner For Two

**Chapter 104: Dinner For Two**

_"All couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a relationship the principle of equal partnership." – Ann Landers _

"For they had lived together long enough to know that love was always love, anytime and anyplace, but it was more solid the closer it came to death." – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows." – Monica Piper

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul" – Martha Graham

"When a man and woman understand each other dancing, simply carrying the beat, dancing for three minutes to a music called tango, it's the closest thing to an orgasm but sensual rather than erotic." – Juan Carlos Copes

* * *

She sat looking at him for a few more minutes and then said, "Do you want me to hold you for awhile yet?"

"Yeah," he said smiling, "I'd like that..."

"Ok," she said moving back to hold him again. After she'd had him in her arms for a few minutes and was playing with his hair again, she asked, "Are you sure you're ok Vaughn?"

"Yeah, I'm ok..."

"Ok, you'd tell me if you weren't, right?" she asked in a similar manner to his similar question.

He smiled, "Yeah...I'm just thinking...I'm ok..."

"Ok," she said, letting them fall back into a comfortable silence.

After about a half hour, she looked down to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep, but his eyes were open. They has stilled considerably, so she knew that his thoughts must have been calming.

She smiled, "You know we have the house all to ourselves tonight..."

"That's right..." he said wistfully.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, "I can make dinner..."

"I'd offer to help, but..." he said.

She was worried for a second, but when she looked down, he was smiling.

"It's one way of getting out of dish duty," he said turning to look at her.

"You're bad...what do you want to eat tonight?"

"You like me bad...what do you feel like making?"

"What do you feel like?"

He smiled, "I'm easy to please – you make the meal, I'll eat it..."

"If only there were more of you around," Sydney said sighing.

"The world would be a much more boring place..." Vaughn said chuckling.

"Not a chance Boyscout," Sydney said moving him back to the pillow as she got up, "I'll go see what we have..."

"Ok," he said smiling as she walked out.

After Sydney left and he was alone, he started to think again. What Barnett had said to him could be completely true. Would Sydney actually tell him if she was frustrated? The last thing she ever wanted to do was upset him...she would have no reason to tell him...

He sat wondering how long she'd been frustrated and how hard it must be to do the same thing every day and be frustrated.

He heard Sydney calling something from the kitchen, but he had been too lost in thought to hear her.

"What?" he asked.

She appeared at the door, "How about turkey? Francie left some turkey in the fridge...so it's thawed and everything...I could throw in the oven...make some potatoes...how's that sound?"

"Heavenly..."

She smiled, entering and kissing him softly, and then went back out into the kitchen.

Another several minutes passed and Sydney appeared again, "Ok, turkey's in the oven...we've got a while until I have to do anything else. What do you wanna do now?"

"I don't know..."

Sydney studied him a minute, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok...why?"

She narrowed her eyes, deciding if she should say this or not.

"What?" he asked.

"Well...I was just thinking...but here's the thing...you have to tell me the truth...absolutely MUST..."

"Ok," Vaughn said.

"I mean it Michael – no lying to me..."

"Why would I lie?" he asked.

"Will and Francie are out...and I was just wondering if you wanted to go on a date tonight..."

"A date?" he asked.

"Yeah, a date," she said smiling.

"Well...uh...I'd love to go on a date...but..." he looked around the room, "I can't really GO anywhere...I'm sorry Syd..." he said sadly.

She approached the bed quickly, "No...that's not the kind of date I mean..."

"I'm confused – what kind of date are we having then?"

"The stay at home kind..."

"OH! Sure!" he said smiling.

"Do you think you could sit up by the table? Candles? The whole bit?"

"I can try...I don't know how long I'd be able to sit there..."

"Well...we can try and if you start to feel bad, we can go on the couch – or we could just eat on the couch..."

"I haven't eaten at the table in months..."

"I know sweetie...that's why I thought...maybe..."

"I want to try," he said.

"Ok...we'll try it," she said. She kissed his cheek, "I'm going to go set the table then, get everything ready, then I'll be back."

"Ok," Vaughn said smiling happily.

Sydney went off to the kitchen, humming happily. She loved Vaughn more than life itself, and she would eat anywhere he needed to, but it would be nice to have a dinner at the table. Romantic, candles, music, wine. Well – maybe no wine...she'd have to decide that one...

She smiled as she set two places, next to each other instead of across the table. She set up four white taper candles in the middle of the table, and set the matches next to them.

She went to the cupboard and got out glasses, and then reached back up for the wine glasses. She set them down and went back to the bedroom momentarily. "Hey," she said as she entered.

"Hi," he said joyously, "Do you think it's completely lame and sad that I'm really excited about sitting at the table?"

She smiled at him softly, understanding, "Aw honey...no I think that's sweet...I'm excited too...it's the little things Vaughn..."

"But not too little..."

She smiled wider, "No...no...in that respect – bigger is good – and don't worry honey...you're VERY well endowed in that department – nothing little there..."

Vaughn smiled.

"I came in here to decide something," Sydney said.

"What's that?"

"I was trying to decide if it would be ok if you had a small glass of wine with dinner..."

"Wine?" he said excitedly, "Ooo...I remember wine," he said nostalgically.

Sydney laughed, "It hasn't been THAT long Vaughn...although I'm sure the European in you is in withdrawal."

"It is! It is!" Vaughn said giddily, "Please...please? Please can I have wine?" he asked like a child.

Sydney chuckled again, "Ok Vaughn...one glass, but that has to be it...just one," she said holding up her pointer finger.

"Ok..." he said, still excited, "Can I pick what kind?"

She smiled, "Sure honey...any kind you want..."

"Red. I want red."

"Ok...I'll see what kinds we have and you can pick. But don't tell Tom..." she said.

He laughed, "My lips are sealed with wine..."

She kissed him and moved out to the kitchen again.

She puttered around the kitchen happily, thinking about their dinner, and Vaughn. She placed the wine glasses in their places on the table and looked at the clock. The potatoes would take about a half hour to cook, so she only had a few minutes before she had to start those. She finished everything else, checked the turkey and started the potatoes.

After the potatoes started, she had precious time away from the meal. She wondered if Vaughn was doing ok, but she knew if he needed something, he'd call. The meal finished quickly and Sydney got everything together, placing it on the table and filling the plates. She poured the wine, smiling, and then moved the chair out, getting everything ready for Vaughn. She took one last look at everything, making sure it looked perfect, lit the candles, dimmed the lights, turned on some music and went to retrieve Vaughn.

She was all smiles as she entered and he returned her smile in kind.

"You ready?" she asked.

"More than you know," he said.

She chuckled, helping him sit, and then swung his legs over the side of the bed to help him stand as well. She made sure he was ready to move and started to slowly walk backwards out of the bedroom.

He kept his eyes trained on hers as they moved, sharing a spectrum of gazes; from bashful smiles to smoldering visages of lust, back to soft looks of love; it ran the whole gamut. Vaughn didn't get to take in the surroundings and atmosphere until Sydney gently sat him in the chair and he was able to tear his gaze away from her eyes.

His breath hitched as he looked over the table, lit by soft candlelight and dimmed overhead lights. The atmosphere was soft and warm, inviting and full of love. Sydney smiled at his reaction, and she couldn't have found the words to describe the look on his face when his eyes met hers again.

His smile mirrored the atmosphere, one of pure admiration for the woman sitting next to him, his face warm, his eyes slightly moist.

Sydney reached out her hand to cup his cheek. He leaned into her hand and then turned his head, closing his eyes and kissing her palm.

"This is really nice Sydney," he said finally, barely audibly.

"Thank you," she said, "I'm glad you like it."

"It's great," he said looking down at the plate.

She picked up on the slight change in his mood in an instant, "What's wrong honey? Are you ok?"

He smiled softly, "Yeah...it's just been awhile...it's really nice to...you know, sit at an actual table."

She smiled her understanding, "You wanna eat?" she asked.

He nodded, "This is gonna be sort of...difficult though..." he said sighing heavily.

She smiled, got up and moved her chair so it was right next to his instead of kiddy-corner like it had been. She moved her plate and all the settings over too and then handed him his fork. He took it and was going to start but she stopped him, "Wait..." she said.

She grabbed her own fork and stabbed a piece of meat, then looked at him, nodding. He did the same and then she said, "Ok..." and she brought her fork to him. He smiled and took the turkey from her fork and then moved his fork to her mouth, copying her motions.

They continued to feed each other, making their way through the meal. The potatoes were easy enough to get on a fork to feed each other, but the corn Sydney had prepared as well, turned out to be quite difficult. Sydney attempted it first, changing smartly to a spoon, but as she moved, a few kernels slipped off. She started giggling and more fell off. By the time she got it to Vaughn's mouth, they were both laughing so hard that all the corn wound up on the table.

"That went well..." Vaughn said smiling.

"Let's try again," Sydney said keeping her hand steadier this time and making it to his mouth.

"Sorry baby, I think you're going to have to do your own corn," he said.

"That's fine Vaughn...I'll manage..."

She smiled taking a longer piece of turkey in her mouth and moving over to kiss him, holding onto the back of his neck as she gave him the rest of the turkey through the kiss.

He smiled as they parted. He looked down at the mostly eaten plates, the half-burned candles and the drained wine glasses.

Sydney knew him too well, "What's up honey?"

He looked over at her, "Thank you..."

She smiled, happy he wasn't sad; "You're welcome...I love you Michael."

He smiled happily, "I love you too..."

She leaned over to kiss him, "You wanna go sit on the couch for a while? How're you feeling?"

He smiled, "I'm good..."

Her face lit up, registering surprise, like she'd just remembered something, "I have an idea," she said excitedly, grabbing his hand and helping him to stand. She walked with him to the couch and eased him back, kissing him quickly. "I'll be RIGHT back," she said. She ran back to the table, blew out the candles, and went back to the stereo.

She riffled through a few CDs, found the one she was looking for and put it in, pressing play. Then she turned back to Vaughn who was watching her with interest as the sounds of Kenny G's _Forever In Love_ filled the room in light and sexy sound.

She walked over to the couch, keeping eye contact, and held out a hand to him, palm up, when she was near enough. He took her hand wondering what she was doing. She smiled and pulled gently on his hand. His brow furrowed, but he took the hint and stood up with her help. She moved her hands to his waist and moved his hand to her hip. She closed the gap between them, keeping his sling trapped comfortably between them.

"Will you dance with me?" she asked looking up at him.

"I...Sydney..." he dropped his gaze.

She moved his chin, "Just follow me..." she said.

He nodded and she swayed gently, not really moving her feet at all. She kept a firm grip on him around his waist in case he wavered, but he kept his eyes set on hers. She smiled a soft smile.

"I'm sorry Sydney," he said quietly.

"What for?" she asked.

"That I can't really dance with you...and everything else too..."

"I've told you before - you don't need to apologize. Vaughn...this is nice...this is great. We'll dance later...seriously...this is such a big step honey. It's almost better then if you really were 'better.' Do you understand what I mean? It means more...because you're hurt..."

Vaughn smiled, letting out a breath.

The faint chords of the tenor saxophone wafted through the living room as they moved slowly. Sydney let her head drop to Vaughn's chest, his head on top of hers.

The song ended and Sydney moved back so she could look at him. "You ok?" she asked.

He smiled, "Yeah, I'm ok...really good actually."

The next song on the CD started, slow and soft, similar to the first.

"Can we dance to another one?" he asked.

"Are you sure?" Sydney asked to confirm.

"Yeah...one more..."

She smiled, "If you're sure..."

He nodded.

"Ok," she said, "Like before?" she asked.

He smiled, "Yeah."

She smiled again, fitting her head under his chin.

They swayed through the song, silent...just sharing space...breathing...moving in time to the soft tones...


	105. After Dinner Mints

**Chapter 105: After Dinner Mints**

_"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without, but know we cannot live within." – James Baldwin _

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage." – Lao-Tzu

"Roll uptown to midnight / Then roll on downtown till its light  
Because tomorrow we may die / Oh but tonight we're dancing in the fate light  
Don't you rob yourself of what you're feeling / Don't rob yourself of all that you could be  
Roll hard 'til midnight / Roll 'til its light, come on now  
Stay up and make some memories here, with us now  
To roll red carpet out with friends / To love and roll on  
Our love is so right / I won't waste a minute here tonight  
Our love is so right / And tonight my dance is all about you  
To midnight love you / Roll on and run the red lights  
Game now is keep it tight / How I love her pretty rock and roll kisses  
Come on and stay with me / Roll on and run the red lights  
Come this love is so right  
Stay up and make some memories here, with us now / To roll the red carpet out with friends  
To love and roll on / Our love is so right  
I can taste we're in it here tonight / Our love is so right  
And tonight my dance is all about you  
I'm going crazy and it's all cause of you / It's all cause of you  
I'm going under over you / This time now is so alive  
Everybody's trance dancing tonight / So beautiful and so strange  
It was empty till you came" – "So Right" – Dave Matthews

* * *

The song ended and Sydney brought her head back again.

"I'm sorry Sydney...I think I need to sit now..." he said apologetically.

"Sure honey," she said gently, helping him ease down to the couch, "You ok?"

He smiled, "I'm good...just a little tired now..." he said quietly.

She sat down next to him, "You wanna lay down instead? Is your back pressed on the couch too much?"

"Yeah...it's kind of pressed...will you lay with me?"

"Of course," she said as she arranged the pillows to make sure his back wasn't going to be compressed. She helped him lie down and then looked at him, gaze full of love. She looked over across the room, "Should I start a fire?" she asked softly.

He followed her gaze to the fireplace, a black and lifeless void with no red-orange tongues dancing at him. It seemed so innocent, so unassuming when it wasn't lit.

He had other memories now though, "Sure," he said.

She noticed the length of time it took him to answer, "You sure Vaughn?"

He smiled looking back at her, "Are we gonna make another memory?" he asked with a sly, lopsided grin. "Cause you know, that might help even more..."

She smiled, getting up from the couch but turning back after he said that, "Oh really?"

He nodded enthusiastically.

"Well...we wouldn't want to stop the recovery flow..." she said with her back turned to him as she lit the match.

He chuckled, "No...we wouldn't..."

She poked at the fire until it started crackling, then placed the poker in the holder next to the fireplace and got up, returning to the couch.

She lay down next to him, nuzzling into his warm body, pressing her head between his head and neck. His hand moved to hold her, resting on her hip.

"I had a really great time tonight Sydney. Thank you."

"I did too Vaughn...and you're welcome," she said as she lifted her head and kissed his cheek.

She watched him for a few minutes, his gaze staring off at the ceiling as he made gentle circles with his fingers on her hip.

"What'cha thinking about?" she asked quietly, not wanting to startle him out of his thoughts.

He smiled, "You...always you..." he said looking down at her and kissing her fully.

She smiled back up at him after they parted. Her eyes lingered on his, and then they lit up even more than they had been, excitedly. "Hey! I have an idea!" she said like a giddy little girl.

Vaughn chuckled, "What idea did you have in mind?"

She smiled, "Wait here," she said as she pushed off of him and took off down the hall.

"Wasn't planning on going anywhere," he yelled after her.

He could hear her laugh from down the hall. She seemed to have stopped somewhere in the middle of the hall. The closing of the linen closet door confirmed his suspicion.

She came back into the living room with a few blankets, the same sleeping bag from their lawn chair adventure, and something that was dull gray in color, folded over. It looked like it was plastic.

He watched with interest as Sydney put the blankets and the sleeping bag down and then put the plastic-looking thing in front of the fireplace. She pressed a button on a small adjacent device and then Vaughn figured it out. The folded, dull gray "thing" started to unfold, filling with air: it was an air mattress.

She stood and smiled at him as it filled, "Before I get too overzealous, I should ask if you think you get down here...and then get up of course too..."

He smiled, "Only one way to find out."

She smiled back at him, waiting until the mattress was full, and then moved the pump and grabbed the blankets and the sleeping bag and arranged them along with pillows she had produced. Giving it the once-over approval, she then walked over to him.

He extended his hand to her and she helped him sit and then stand and started to move gingerly towards the mattress.

"Ok...how do you wanna do this?" she asked as they stood before it.

"Um...planning is your job...I just do the work..."

She smiled, "Ok...well...uh...should we try to have you kneel?"

"Sure..." he said shrugging his shoulders.

"Are we gonna hurt you that way?" she asked in a motherly voice.

He smiled again, "There's only one way to find out."

"Ok..." she said as she gripped him under the arms and helped him kneel rather painlessly. Then she helped maneuver him to a sitting position on the somewhat buoyant mattress. He laughed quietly as Sydney bounced him back, then reclined him, positioning him so that his back was not on the mattress. He was fine until he looked over to his right...the fire was blazing next to him, far too close for his liking.

He shifted restlessly and bumped into Sydney who was studying him.

"It's ok Vaughn...it can't hurt you..."

He smiled, "I know...just keep reminding me..."

"You bet I will," she said reclining next to him. She lay on the other side of him, however, so he was still closest to the fire. He needed to be able to face it; with her, but face it nonetheless.

She didn't say anything for a while, but she watched him, watched his reactions. The fire reflected off of his jade eyes, making them look as though they glowed. His face was calm, just watching the flames as they sputtered and flickered as if speaking to him.

After several minutes, he turned his head away from the fire and looked back at Sydney's soft eyes. She smiled warmly from her perch next to him. She was lying on her side, the front of her body pressed against his side, her head propped up by arm, which was resting on the pillow. She reached out her hand to touch his face and asked quietly, "You ok?"

"Yeah," he said smiling, "I'm ok...really...I think I am," he said nodding.

"That's great honey..."

"Are we still gonna make a new memory? Seems a waste to bring ALL of this stuff out...and," he made sure she was looking at him, "I may have a few lingering thoughts..." he smiled coyly, "ya know...they might just sneak in...but maybe if I have another memory..."

She smiled seductively, bringing her head down from her hand and leaning over to kiss him.  
"I think that could be arranged..." she said with a raised eyebrow.

"Good," he said returning the kiss, "I'm ready when you are..."

She smiled and moved herself to lie on top of him. She could feel his erection starting to grow beneath her, "Mmm...I guess you ARE ready..."

"Yeah – getting there...I could use a little help..." he said smiling.

"Help? How could I help?" she said grounding her hips into him.

She added more help by reaching her hand down to stroke him through his pants. She traced the outline of his cock with her hands, stroking up and down the shaft through the material of his clothing, "Just stoking the fire..." she said.

"God, you're bad!" he said smiling and then moaning when she gripped him hard.

"Are you complaining?"

"Absolutely not...keep stoking all you want!"

She smiled, sitting herself up on him. She moved off of him then, standing in the light of the fire, slow sensual music playing softly, as she swayed her hips to the rhythm, removing her pants in time to the music.

His gaze was hooded, full of love and admiration and passion. Once she had her pants removed, she moved to the buttons of her shirt, slowly taking each button between her fingers and watching him watch her hands as they worked over the whole line of buttons.

"I love buttons too now..." he said, his voice slightly lower than normal.

She smiled, easing out of the shirt, letting it fall to the floor near her discarded pants. She reached around to unclasp her bra next, letting it fall near her feet as well. She swayed her hips again to the music as she pulled her panties down, letting them pool at her ankles before she stepped out of them. His breath hitched when she was standing in front of him. He surveyed her naked form in front of him, perfect in every way; from the curve of her hips, and the curves of her breasts, to the way her hair fell in front of her face when she looked down at him. He made a sweep of her whole body - from head to toe, smiling as he saw the goosebumps spread over her skin. He didn't know if it was because of a chill in the air or because of his scrutiny but either way, it was wicked sexy and he ate it up eagerly, taking in the faint scent of her perfume and the rising scent of her sex lingering in the air.

His gaze dropped to the patch of curls that hid all her womanly charms. He could blatantly see her arousal, evidenced by the large amount of moisture that was slowly leaking onto her thighs. He moaned when he thought of plunging hard into that wet, hot heat.

She smiled, knowing that his erection just grew impossibly larger, straining against his pants to be free. She moved down to him on the floor, kneeling off of the mattress and reached for the button on his pants. She dragged the zipper down slowly, pressing her other hand to the front of his boxers, feeling his erection straining. She removed the pants from his body, throwing them over her shoulder, which made Vaughn giggle, and then removed his socks as well, smiling as she tossed each one over a different shoulder.

She touched his ankles, rubbing up and down his feet and then ran her finger up the middle of each of his feet. He jumped slightly, moving away a little bit.

She looked up at him with a sly smile, "Ticklish?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

He smiled, "Maybe you should check all over just to make sure..."

"Mmm..." she ran her hand up his right calf, up to the knee, kneading and then dipped her hand to the back of his knee, brushing lightly. He jerked and she smiled looking up at him again, "Another spot?"

He nodded and she continued, doing the same action to the other leg. Once she'd made it to the knees she scratched her nails up his right thigh. This time though, there was no giggling; he moaned as she rubbed with one hand up and down his thigh and scratched the inside with her nails repeatedly, and then switched to the other leg.

"Sydney," he breathed.

She smiled and moved her hands higher, running her hands over his hips, barely touching him. It was his turn for the goosebumps. The phantom touches Sydney was now giving him were highly erotic. He could see her hands moving up his body, framing around his hips and then going higher, and he could feel the energy of her hands, but he could barely feel her actual touch. She moved to sit on his lap, his erection straining towards her as she sat. She ran her hands under his shirt, caressing all over his chest and abs. She removed her hands then and started on his buttons, eyeing him knowingly.

He smiled, but he was too passion induced to say anything. She made quick work of the buttons and the shirt, slipping it off after she removed his sling. She tossed it aside and then went back to her feather light touches. His hand moved to her breast, but she batted him away gently, "Not yet," she said smiling.

He put his hand down smiling and then went back to enjoying her caresses.

She ran her hands over his chest, over to his shoulders with ghostly trails. She leaned down to give him a kiss and then lowered her mouth to his neck. She nibbled at the spot right beneath his ear, causing his hips to arch in response. She smiled moving to the front of his neck, wetting the hollow of his throat with her tongue. She took one long sweep of her tongue from the top of his collarbone all the way to his chin, and then moved back down, running her tongue over his Adam's apple, sucking gently. He moaned and that just spurred her on more, the vibrations making her even wetter than she already was. She searched for the spot right beneath his Adam's apple and then moved in wide circles around the whole area.

"Mmm...god Sydney..."

She smiled as she circled, then moved back to look at him. His eyes were closed, his breathing faster than normal, his skin flushed.

"More?" she asked.

He opened his eyes, his pupils dilated, his mind trying to make his eyes focus. He smiled faintly finally and nodded, lost for words.

She smiled in return and went back down, tracing his collarbone with her tongue while kneading the muscles in his shoulders gently. She scooted down slightly, bringing his erection down with her. He moaned when he felt her body move his cock with hers. From where she was, there was no way he could get himself inside her, but she was doing wonders with friction. She kissed his left nipple, covering the whole area with her mouth and sucking gently. She moved to the other one, moving her hips in time with her to make more friction for him.

His hips started bucking softly with her movements as she returned to the first nipple, licking all around the outside, but not touching the nipple itself at all. She swirled her tongue in endless circles, driving him insane, wanting her to give the nipple attention too. Just when he thought he couldn't take anymore, she began to move closer, circling like a corkscrew closer and closer to the nipple. She flicked her tongue out once, sending a jolt of sensation all the way through his body. She felt his cock jump and then soar as she bit down softly on the same oversensitive nipple.

He screamed her name as his cock leapt with anticipation. She smiled, teasing him and moving to the other nipple, mimicking the exact same movements. At least this time he knew what she was going to do, but that didn't make her go any faster and it didn't change his reaction when she bit down on that one as well.

"Uhn...Sydney," he said throatily.

She smiled sitting up on him again, "More?" she asked innocently.

"No..." he said breathily, shaking his head, "I'm gonna come right here if I'm not inside you soon..."

She chuckled softy, loving that she could turn him on that much, "Ok baby..." she said as she kissed him, moving her body upwards.

He wasted no time once he knew that she was ready. He grabbed onto her hip and maneuvered her over his cock, arching up into her folds before she even had the chance to help him. He sank into her wet heat with a long groan, dangerously close to coming already.

She pressed her hands on his chest, framing his nipples and flicked them both with her thumbs.

He threw his head back and arched into her deeper, bringing his legs up to help him thrust.

"Uuh...Sydney..." he breathed as she began to move quickly on top of him.

She had teased him enough tonight to know that he was dangerously close to coming, the build-up doing its job very nicely. She loved how she could turn him into mush.

She had to admit, however, the whole teasing process had worked very well for her too, and she wasn't far behind him, her own climax rising fast. She redoubled her efforts, moving at an almost alarming rate atop him but then slowed. He looked up at her confused.

"Look at the fire..." she said, turning her own head.

Vaughn turned his head, his brow furrowing slightly, and Sydney watched him carefully, trying to gauge how well he was adjusting.

He looked back at her a moment later, watching as her smile reached her eyes. He smiled in return.

"You ok?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah..."

"Memories?" she asked in the same quiet tone.

"Random flashes...but...honestly," he said, waiting.

"Yeah?"

He moved his hand that was resting on her hip to her lower abdomen and pressed, thrusting his hips upward, "It's really difficult to keep thinking about all sorts of bad stuff that happened to me when I can feel myself in you..." He looked down to where they were joined and watched himself disappear and reappear from inside Sydney. He pressed against her abdomen every time he thrust, looking up at her with a lascivious smile, "I like that," he said simply.

She smiled, covering his hand with hers, "Me too honey..."

"Mmm...so deep..."

She leaned down, moving his hand to her clit and kissed him roughly. He responded in kind, bringing their lovemaking back to the hurried pace it had been moments ago.

She was so close; she could feel the burn start to radiate from her clit outward, sending electric shocks of pleasure throughout her whole body. She threw her head back in a moan, loving the feeling of him so deep in her as she climaxed, her muscles clamping on him in rhythmic motion.

The sight of Sydney's head thrown back in ecstasy was enough to drive him over the edge, but just as he was coming, hot and hard and calling Sydney's name, she reached down and pinched his nipples, making him lurch and scream her name as he emptied himself inside her.

He struggled to breathe as he felt the new sensations and aftershocks echo through his body.

Sydney was smiling slyly down at him; her hands sprawled over his chest, occasionally tweaking his over-stimulated nipples.

"Holy fuck Sydney..." he said as he tried to get his breathing back to a semi-normal state.

She giggled, which just caused her to clamp on his cock again, making him shiver with another few aftershocks.

"Did you like that?" she asked seductively.

"No, not really...I just tell you that you've divinely screwed me for no reason..."

"Holy fuck..."

"Yeah," he said shrewdly, with a sexy smile, "I thought it appropriate."

She giggled again, "I'm flattered Vaughn..."

"Not as flattered as I am baby."

She smiled happily and leaned down to kiss him. After she said, "We should probably get to the bedroom..."

"Why?" he asked.

"Well...because the other people that live here are going to be home any minute. They don't need a floor show."

He laughed, "Ok."

"I'll go get our robes..." she said as she got off him slowly.

"Mmmhmm..." he said, watching her go until she went out of view. He smiled a smile of a man very satisfied, and glanced over at the fire. He was alone with the fire, but he hadn't really realized until just then. For a moment, it all came crashing back, the fear, the pain...but he kept staring at the fire, and soon, that's all it was. A fire that had provided warmth and soft light for two lovers who had just engaged in the most intimate of communications.

Sydney was in the bedroom before she even realized she had left Vaughn alone with the fire. She felt a surge of anxiety rise as she repeatedly told herself how stupid she was. She grabbed the robes and practically ran back out, but when she saw him, she stopped, keeping herself hidden from his view in the hallway.

He was lying on the mattress, in front of the fire, just as she had left him. His body was bathed in soft hues of orange and yellow, his naked skin looking even more tan that it really was. His left arm was laying across his stomach as though the sling were there and his right was under his head, elbow pointing towards the fire. His gaze was planted firmly on said fire, and she moved slightly so she could see his expression.

She expected to see a mix of fear and panic, but his visage was calm, his breathing even, and there was a hint of a smile on his lips. That made her extremely happy, and she moved quietly back over to him, kneeling beside him. "Hey," she said.

He looked over at her with a wider smile, "Hi..." he replied.

She was hesitant to say anything, thinking maybe he was just still too passion induced to really be thinking about torture, but she had to know, "You...you ok? I sort of left you alone..."

He smiled warmly, "I can be alone Sydney...actually I think it was good that you went..."

"It was?"

"Yeah...I was ok...I was ok alone. I have flashes every now and then, but I'm not afraid of it anymore."

She leaned over, kissing him and saying, "I'm so proud of you...I love you so much Vaughn."

He smiled, gladly accepting her kiss and said in reply, "You should be proud of you...it's only because of you...and I love you too – more than you could possibly know."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she leaned down again kissing him fiercely.

Vaughn backed off slightly and Sydney looked at him in confusion, "Sydney...if we don't stop...Will...Francie – yeah, gonna get a floor show..."

She chuckled, "Ok, sweetie..." She helped him sit up, "Should we try the kneeling again?"

"Yeah, that's probably the best way..."

She helped to a kneeling position and then lifted him under the arms to stand. He winced once they were standing.

"Vaughn?" Sydney asked as she put the robe on him and noticed the pained expression.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Did you get hurt?"

"Mmm...no...I don't think so...muscles didn't like that...or wounds..."

"I'm sorry Vaughn, maybe we shouldn't have–"

He cut her off with a finger to her lips, "Don't Sydney...we never 'shouldn't' have done that...ok?"

She smiled, "I know...I just...I don't want our overzealous love making to set you back..."

He laughed, "I'd rather have that set me back than anything else."

"You think you can still walk to the bedroom?"

"I think so..."

She started walking backwards slowly, taking him with her. When they got to the bed, she sat him down and started to grab his pajamas.

"You look tired honey," she said as she got him dressed.

"Yeah...you wore me out..." he said with a smile.

"You loved every minute of being worn out."

"Yes, I did," he said proudly.

She got him settled in the bed, and then said, "I'm gonna get rid of the evidence...k?"

He nodded, yawning. She smiled as she went out, knowing full well that by the time she got back, he'd be asleep.

She picked up the blankets and the sleeping bag, let the air out of the mattress and put all of it away. When she came back in, he was sleeping soundly and she lie down next to him, falling into slumber quickly after.


	106. Leisure

**Chapter 106: Leisure**

_"It is in his pleasure that a man really lives; it is from his leisure that he constructs the true fabric of self." – Agnes Repplier _

"Leisure is the mother of philosophy." – Thomas Hobbes

"The happiest people are those who think the most interesting thoughts. Those who decide to use leisure as a means of mental development, who love good music, good books, good pictures, good company, good conversation, are the happiest people in the world. And they are not only happy in themselves, they are the cause of happiness in others." – William Lyon Phelps

* * *

Vaughn was still sleeping soundly when Sydney woke on Tuesday morning. Soft sunlight was spilling into the room, signaling the inception of day. She looked over at the clock; it was almost 10:00. She almost giggled when she thought about having to actually get up and go to work again; it was going to be hell for both of them. They had been so spoiled with sleeping late, but that was what Vaughn needed, and she had no complaints to spending large amounts of time in bed with him.

She turned her head, which was resting on his chest, upward to watch him sleep. Her head was rising and falling with the intake and outtake of his breath, and she sighed in contentment.

She couldn't suppress the giggle that erupted when he twitched softly in his sleep. It set off a series of giggles and he was roused in no time. He opened his eyes slowly, yawning, and looking down at Sydney with a mix of confusion and laughter.

"What?" he asked sleepily.

"Nothing..." she got out before she giggled helplessly again.

"What!" he asked again.

"You just...twitched, it was cute...and I couldn't help myself..."

"I twitched?"

"Yeah...your face did this little muscle twitch..."

He laughed with her until he pulled her up to kiss him, "Sydney," he began after, getting her attention.

"Yeah?"

"Last night...was...thank you."

"You're welcome," she said happily, "You ok? It didn't hurt you did it?"

"No...just gave me the twitches..."

She laughed, snuggling into his chest more, "Yeah...well, I'll take that as a compliment."

They spent several minutes in silence, Vaughn running his hand up and down Sydney's back in broad strokes.

"What do you want to do today?" she asked.

"Don't know...what do you want to do?"

"We could do some work...and we should do your exercises too..."

"Ok...sounds like a plan. Do you think we can fill a whole day with that?"

"We might be able to work something else in..."

"That's my girl..."

She smiled and sat up, "Breakfast?"

"Yeah...I'm hungry..."

"I'll surprise you..."

"Sounds like a plan."

She padded out to the kitchen to look for something for breakfast and found another note on the counter.

Scrawled again in Will's handwriting, "_Syd, We got in really late last night, hope you didn't have any trouble moving Vaughn and stuff. We'll be home earlier tonight, how about dinner? Call me at work and let me know. Have a good day. Love ya, Will_."

She smiled; she loved how her friends seemed to be taking to Vaughn, worrying about him almost as much as she did.

"Vaughn?" she called.

"Yeah?" he answered.

"You wanna have dinner tonight with Will and Francie?"

"Sure."

"Ok," she said grabbing the phone as she took out breakfast makings.

She dialed the all too familiar number and the answering service picked up, "Dispatch."

"This is officer 2300844, may I speak with Will Tippin please?"

Music started playing and after a few seconds there was a soft click and then, "Will Tippin..."

"Hey Will."

"Hi Syd!" Will said happily.

"How're you doing?"

"I'm good...you? Mike?"

"We're good...I got your note..."

"Yeah, I'm sorry we were so late..."

"No, Will, it's fine. Vaughn and I are perfectly fine alone..." she left the next part of the sentence up to him to figure out.

"Oh yeah...I know...I just...well, we thought we'd be home earlier than we were, and we were concerned that you'd have problems moving Mike...ya know..." he said somewhat sheepishly.

"Actually, Vaughn and I have been doing a really good job moving him. I think he's getting better...it seems easier for him. I mean, he still is out of breath and stuff, tired, but it's better...I mean we can move...that's a vast improvement."

"That's great Syd...can you hang on a second?"

"Sure," she said.

She heard Will saying something muffled and then he was back, "Ok, sorry about that..."

"Not a problem."

"That was Kendall..."

"Oh yay..."

"Yeah, he...well...he knew I was talking to you...he wanted to know if you've been making any progress on the files...stupid ass..." he said softly, "He can't even leave you alone when you're on a leave of absence?"

Sydney chuckled, "Well...you can tell him we started on them yesterday, but we haven't had a lot of time yet. We'll probably do some more today though."

"Ok, I'll feed that to him, maybe that'll keep him off your case for awhile."

"Thanks Will..."

"Sure, so...we'll see you about 5:30ish?"

"That sounds great..."

"Why don't we pick something up on the way, that way we won't have to wait to eat..."

"Equally great..."

"Ok Syd...yeah, ok I have to go, I'm getting evil eye from bullet head. I'll call you later when we know where we're gonna pick up the food."

Sydney laughed, "Ok Will...I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Syd."

She hung up with a smile and went back to breakfast. Several minutes later she came back to the bedroom with a tray.

"Will's gonna call later to let us know where they're gonna stop – take orders..."

"Ok, sounds good..."

They had a playful breakfast, feeding each other and touching lightly. It seemed that neither wanted to be away from the other. There was rarely a moment when some part of one wasn't touching the other.

Sydney had to admit, besides being spoiled with sleeping in, she was getting far too spoiled with time alone with Vaughn. That too would be hell once they had to go back to work. Thank god they worked in the same place, so that if they weren't sharing the same floor square they could still be happy with the knowledge that the other was in the building somewhere.

Vaughn noticed she seemed to be lost in thought, "What'cha thinking?" he asked in the same playful tone that their morning had been started on.

She smiled, "I was just thinking that it's a really good thing that we work at the same place, because when we go back to work, I'm gonna miss all of this terribly."

Vaughn smiled back, "Yeah...I know...we can probably find some private nooks in the building somewhere though..."

She smiled evilly, "You promise?"

"Scout's honor."

That sent her off into a fit of giggles and the playful breakfast continued.

Sydney took the dishes out into the kitchen after the breakfast and then came back to Vaughn.  
"So...what should we do?" she asked while plopping next to him on the bed. "Bath? Exercise? Work?"

"Let's exercise first...then we can take a bath."

"Sounds like a plan...deep breathing first," she said as she moved to take the wrap off.

He smiled when she placed her hand on his chest, not having to tell her to breathe with him anymore.

She put the wrap back on and then moved back to sit on his legs for the exercises. She assumed the usual position, and he did twelve crunches with her help.

"You know...I think the sheet said I was supposed to start sitting up by myself too..."

"Yeah...you think you're up to that?"

"I want to try..."

"Ok," she said, moving off of him, but staying close.

He did four fairly easily and then managed to work out a fifth, but with a wince. He landed back against the pillow heavily, causing another wince from his back.

"Ok, ow," he said.

"You ok?" she asked moving to sit next to him.

He sighed, "Yeah, I'm ok...I should have stopped at four."

"You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah..."

"Why don't you rest a while before we do the standing..."

"No, let's just do it now..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah...rather get it over with."

"Ok," she said helping him sit and then stand.

"Should we just walk to the bathroom while I'm up?"

"Sure," Sydney said starting to slowly walk backwards.

They made their way to the bathroom where Sydney stripped and did the same for Vaughn, started the water and went to remove his bandages as he sat on the chair next to the tub.

"God, I can't wait until I can take a shower..." he said quietly.

She smiled as she stood behind him, "Why? Don't you like my baths?"

"Oh, honey...I love your baths...but I want to play with you in the shower..."

She moved around to stand in front of him and started to remove the bandages there, "You will..."

He smiled softly and accepted her hand as she finished and helped him into the tub.

She sat down in the tub in back of him and pulled him back until he was pressed to her, his head dropping back to rest on her shoulder.

She enveloped him in her arms, bringing her hands to rest on his abs. She massaged gently, careful not to hurt his ribs. He moaned as he relaxed even more in her arms as she kneaded the tension out of his muscles.

His eyes closed as he hummed under her hands. She smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his temple and then another on his cheek.

He opened his eyes, smiling, looking over at her, "Thanks," he said appreciatively.

"You're welcome...you did enough to warrant it."

He sighed as she began to wash him, the tension slowly ebbing away, being cleansed with warm water and soap and Sydney's soft caresses.

She washed herself quickly after finishing with him and helped him out of the tub again. She redressed his wounds, checked the infected one, and then wrapped his ribs.

"I don't know Vaughn...I mean the wound is getting better I think, but it still looks bad..."  
She moved to stand in front of him, "What do you think?"

"I don't know...ask Tom next time you call...or he does..."

"Ok," she said moving out to get them clothing. She returned and dressed both of them and smiled as she looked at him, reaching out a hand to scratch across the stubble covering his face.  
"Shave?" she asked.

"Yeah, that'd be nice," he said as he scratched a spot on his chin, "gets kinda itchy."

She smiled as she lathered him up and started to shave him, starting with his neck first and working her way around the rest of his face. Once she finished, she rinsed his face and splashed some aftershave on his cheeks too.

She stepped back, admiring her work, and then ran a hand through his hair, "You're hair is getting long..."

He smiled, "Yeah..."

"I could cut it for you..."

"You cut hair too?" he asked amused.

She smiled bashfully, "Well...I can..."

"Well, you do a great job here," he said running his hand over his newly shaven cheek, "So, I don't see why it would be any different here," he said as he pointed to his hair.

"I'll get the scissors," Sydney said almost giddily.

She ran off and returned in record time, scissors in hand.

"I hope you didn't run with those," Vaughn quipped.

She smiled, "No, just a fast walk, I was careful...Are you gonna be able to sit up for a while yet?"

"If I lean back I'll be ok."

"Ok," Sydney said, easing him back and grabbing a comb. She combed through his damp hair and started clipping, starting at the top and working her way down the sides and then the back. Once she started cutting, she was amazed at how long his hair had actually gotten. Looking at him everyday, she hadn't really noticed.

He watched her through the reflection of themselves in the mirror, smiling at the look of concentration while trying to stay as still as possible.

When she was done, she ran her hand through it, getting all the loose hairs out and mussing up what was left, "There...just like you like it..." she said smiling.

He smirked, "Are you telling me my hair is messy?"

"Always honey...eternal bed-head, and I wouldn't have it any other way, because it's so adorable and every time I look at it, all I think about is being back in bed with you."

"I'll never change it now!" he said pulling her to sit in his lap.

She obliged happily and kissed him, smiling at the new Michael Vaughn in front of her. He looked healthier and she was elated with the simple change.


	107. The Central NonIntelligence Agency

**Chapter 107: The Central Non-Intelligence Agency**

_"The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television." – Unknown _

"We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming." – Wernher von Braun

* * *

By the time they had finished with the bath and the haircut and the rest of their morning routine, it was time for lunch. Sydney made a quick, simple lunch and they decided to sit down and do some work after.

They had eaten lunch on the couch, and they decided to stay there to do the work. Sydney brought the laptop out and handed it to Vaughn, who logged into the CIA mainframe.

Sydney grabbed the files and set the pile on the coffee table, picking one up and handing one to Vaughn as well.

They began reading, Sydney taking notes on a notepad while Vaughn pecked away on the keyboard one handed.

Once Sydney finished, she handed the notes to Vaughn, who transcribed them into the computer as she went on to the next.

"What happened to that Vespertini one?" Vaughn asked, looking at the coffee table.

"I kept it out, here it is," Sydney said, handing it to Vaughn, "Did you remember anything yet?"

"No...but I still think it's familiar. I'll do some digging," he said as she nodded and went back to her own file.

Vaughn was concentrating very hard, trying to come up with where or why he knew that name. He just started to do the search when the phone rang.

Sydney got up to answer, "Hello..."

"Hey Syd!" the voice said.

"Hi!" Sydney said smiling at Vaughn. He didn't know who it was but Sydney added, "I'm good...yeah...he's doing well too...sure, just a second."

She handed the phone to Vaughn, who looked at her with a questioning stare, but she just shook her head and made him take the phone.

"Hello?" he said.

"MIKEY! HOW'RE YOU DOING!"

"Jesus!" Vaughn said, moving his ear away from the receiver, "Eric...what the hell are you yelling for?"

"Well, for one, I was excited to talk to you...haven't in a while, sorry...been busy...and the other reason is because..." he broke off, "-n the ca-"

"What?" Vaughn asked.

"IN THE CAR!" Eric yelled.

Vaughn moved the phone away again, "Ok! You were breaking up...where are you?"

"IN THE CAR!" Eric yelled.

"Yeah doofus, you said that – WHERE?"

"OH! I'M ON MY WAY BACK TO OPS...HAD A ROAD TRIP...LITTLE FACT FINDER..."

"Anything interesting?"

"NAH JUST ROUTINE. WHAT YOU BEEN UP TO? HOW YA DOIN?"

"I'm ok Eric...not much...just hanging out with Syd..."

"WILL TOLD ME YOU HAD A FEW BAD NIGHTS – WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Pain...that's about it...infected wound."

"WHAT?"

"INFECTED WOUND AND PAIN ERIC!" Vaughn yelled.

Sydney started to giggle.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL MIKE!" Eric said, causing even Vaughn to laugh.

"So you just checking up or what?"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?"

"Uh..." he looked at Syd, "Eric wants to know what we're doing tonight..."

"Just dinner with Will and Francie – he's welcome to join us."

"Just dinner with Will and Francie – you can come too if you want Eric."

"YOU DOIN' ANYTHING EARLIER – THIS AFTERNOON?"

"Do we have plans this afternoon?" Vaughn asked Sydney.

She smiled, "No honey..."

"No," Vaughn said.

"GOOD! I'M TAKING OFF OF WORK...COMING OVER...GOT SOMETHING FOR YA...THEN I'LL STAY FOR CHOW."

"Ok Eric...when you gonna be here?"

"UH – BOUT AN HOUR..."

"Ok, see you then..."

"K, BUDDY!"

Vaughn handed the phone back to Sydney, "Eric's coming over in an hour...said he's bringing something, then he's gonna stay for dinner..."

"Sounds good honey." Sydney said putting the phone back in the cradle, "You wanna work yet for a while or you wanna take a break?"

"No, let's work...I was gonna see if I could find anything on that Vespertini guy..."

"Ok," Sydney said as she sat down next to him again, grabbing another folder.

She just sat and got comfortable when the phone rang again, "s..." she said.

Vaughn smiled at her as she got up.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hey Syd..."

"HI! I was gonna call you later..."

"You were?"

"Yeah," Sydney said looking over at Vaughn who turned to see who it was. She smiled, "Yeah Tom, I'm glad you called."

"Why? Something wrong?"

"No...well, I don't think so, I was just gonna call to make sure."

"Ok, what's up?"

"The wound...the infected one..."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I mean it looks sorta better...but it's really not good yet."

"It's improving though?"

"Well...I mean there doesn't seem to be as much ooze and stuff, and it's not bleeding, but it's still infected."

"Ok...well, I called to set up a time for a check-up anyway. I was thinking tomorrow..."

"Uh, well...Vaughn's got therapy tomorrow...I don't know if it's such a–"

"Thursday then," Tom said, asking no questions and cutting her off.

Sydney smiled, "That sounds good Tom...thanks...what time?"

"Uh...morning ok?"

"Sure."

"11:00?"

"We'll be here..."

"Ok," Tom said with a chuckle, "Put Mike on..."

"Sure," Sydney said handing the phone to Vaughn.

He once again took the phone, "Hey..." he said.

"Hey yourself...how ya doin?"

"Good...surprisingly..."

"Glad to hear it...wound's not good yet though, huh?"

"No...not really..."

"Does it hurt?"

"Yeah," Vaughn said, glad that Sydney couldn't hear what they were talking about.

"How bad?"

"Uh..." Vaughn said looking to see if Sydney was listening, but he couldn't tell.

"Syd right there?"

"Yeah," Vaughn said smiling.

"K...let's go this route – is it really bad?"

"Sometimes..."

"Hmm...well we probably are gonna have to start you on antibiotics then..."

"Mmm...ok...yeah...it's better now that we keep the pressure off of it...it doesn't stick at least."

"Well that's a relief."

"Yeah, you're telling me..."

"Otherwise though, you're doing ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good..." Vaughn said smiling.

"Good Mike, I'm glad to hear that..."

"Me too...Thanks Tom..."

"You bet, see you Thursday."

"Ok, bye Tom."

"Bye Mike."

Vaughn handed the phone back to Sydney again who dutifully put it back in the cradle again.

"Tom's coming over Thursday at 11:00 to check you and the wound..." Sydney said.

"Yeah, he said he probably gonna give me an antibiotic..."

"Yeah, that's a good idea..." Sydney stopped thinking, "Oh s...that's when your mom is coming over..."

"Well, maybe she'll come over in the afternoon..."

"Yeah...well...it'd be better...she probably doesn't need to see infected wounds..."

"No, let's try and spare her..."

Sydney sat down again and picked up the file she'd been trying to get through. She got settled, sitting closer to Vaughn and started to read. He put Vespertini's name in as a search, and the phone rang.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Sydney said, getting up again from the couch.

"HELLO!" Sydney said.

"Hello? Sydney?"

Aw f! Sydney thought, "OH! HI! Amélie! I'm sorry...I didn't think it was going to be you."

Vaughn snorted and she sent him a look to shut him up.

He continued to smile though and giggle as Sydney backpedaled.

"Is everything alright dear? Did I call at a bad time?"

"NO, no...I'm sorry...what can I do for you?"

"I was just calling to see if Thursday was still a good day for me to visit."

"Yeah, that'll be fine...Tom is coming over in the morning, but the afternoon is all free..."

"Excellent. I didn't wake anyone today, did I?"

"No," Sydney said chuckling, watching Vaughn still shaking his head and giggling.

"Is Michael available?"

"Sure, here he is," Sydney said handing him the phone.

"Hi mom!" he said, sounding like the little boy he always was when his mother was around.

"Hello Michel...how are you feeling? Better I hope?"

"Yeah..."

"Good..."

"You're coming on Thursday?"

"Yes, is that alright with you?"

"Sure!" he said, making Sydney giggle this time. This time he shot her the glaring look, which just made her giggle more.

"Yeah, it'll be great to see you too mom...yup, I love you too...I'll tell her...k, bye," he ended the conversation, handing Sydney the phone, "She says goodbye..."

Sydney sat down on the couch, leaving the phone on the coffee table this time in anticipation of the next call. Of course – then the phone didn't ring.


	108. Whistle While You Work

**Chapter 108: Whistle While You Work (The Dirty Innuendo Chapter) **

_"I don't like my hockey sticks touching other sticks, and I don't like them crossing one another, and I kind of have them hidden in the corner. I put baby powder on the ends. I think it's essentially a matter of taking care of what takes care of you." – Wayne Gretzky _

"I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been." – Wayne Gretzsky

"I'm not dumb enough to be a goalie." – Brad Hull

"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?" – Bette Midler

* * *

Sydney looked at the phone for a few minutes, waiting before she started anything, knowing the minute she did, it would interrupt her. Vaughn looked over at her curiously, "What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for the phone to ring..."

"Are you expecting another call?"

"No, but I know the minute I start to work again, it'll ring..."

He chucked, "I see..." he was once again going to start the Vestpertini search, but Sydney looked over at him.

"You wanna take a break?" she asked.

He looked over at her, "Sure...what are we gonna do?"

"Well...Eric won't be here for a little while yet...and we've been working really hard..."

"Yeah..."

Sydney reached down under the laptop, "Something else might be kinda hard..."

His legs jumped at her touch, taking him completely by surprise, "Mmm...yeah...it's really hard..."

"Not yet," Sydney said, moving the laptop aside and placing herself there instead. She ground her butt into him, feeling the rise of his erection as it pressed against his pants.

"Getting harder," she whispered into his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

She moved off of him abruptly, leaving him a state of confusion, but she moved between his legs, parting them and all confusion left his face.

She smiled devilishly as she dragged the zipper down after she popped the button on his pants, and reached inside, gripping him tightly before removing her hands to rid him of the pants.

She took them off quickly and roughly, making him smile and then made quick work of his boxers too.

She took position again and gripped his cock, stroking up and down on his shaft as she sucked the tip into her mouth. She smiled up at him and then used both hands to bring the stimulation to new heights. She gripped the shaft with both hands, in the middle, making two rings with the thumbs and index fingers of both hands, one on top of the other. She looked up at him as she started to move the hands in opposite directions, one hand traveling toward the head of his cock and the other towards the base.

"Oh God Sydney..." he said closing his eyes as she moved so slowly on his cock. She kept it up, sliding the rings in alternate directions, and back to the middle until he was bucking his hips, obviously ready to come. Then she backed off, holding onto the shaft with one hand and resuming a regular one-handed stroking pattern.

He slowly opened his eyes, looking down at Sydney who was rather amused and proud of herself. He smiled; he'd been so close to coming, and she totally knew it. He had no idea where she picked up these little tricks, but he loved them. The fire that coursed through his cock when she started her ring maneuver had been so intense, the friction almost unbearably pleasurable.

Of course, then she just outdid herself again by devouring his cock like she hadn't eaten in weeks. Sensation and heat and wetness assailed him again, and he could feel the tightness in his balls rising.

She knew it and instinctively backed off again, grabbing him around the base with just her fingers and holding him steady as she ran the tip of his cock over her lips gently as if she were applying lipstick.

"Uhn..." he groaned as he watched her, her eyes never leaving his. She smiled, taking the whole head in her mouth and sucking and then went back again to rubbing it over her lips, the pre-come coating them. She backed off, licking her lips; driving him absolutely insane because he could watch her do the whole thing.

She looked up at him, his pupils dilated, his breathing shallow, his forehead slightly sweaty, face flushed; he looked the epitome of sexy.

"Do you wanna come Michael?" she asked innocently.

All he could do was nod slowly as he looked at her with his foggy brain and over-stimulated body.

No words – definitely a good thing, she thought as she brought her mouth down to him again. She gripped the shaft again, this time with her whole hand and started a twisting motion while sucking on his tip. His hips started to buck involuntarily and she knew it wouldn't be long.

She reached down to massage his balls, pulling gently, as his hips bucked up even more furiously, desperate for more of her mouth. She complied then, taking all of him into her mouth, swallowing and massaging his balls at the same time.

His orgasm came quickly after that, sending wave after wave of his hot semen down her throat. She swallowed all of him, massaging and stroking lightly until his hips stopped their movements and his cock softened. She let him out of her mouth gently and slowly, running her tongue along the whole length as he came out.

She smiled when she saw the look on his face. He looked completely whipped. His head was back on the couch, his eyes half closed, his breathing slowly returning to normal.

She took the spot next to him on the couch, surveying the scene – she completely clothed, he clothed from the waist up. She couldn't help but giggle.

"What?" he asked in a tense and throaty voice.

"I was just looking the scene over..."

"Scene?"

"Yeah – I'm completely dressed, you're half dressed...it's just kind of ironic considering the look on your face."

"Jesus Sydney...where do you learn that shit?"

She laughed heartily, "I read a lot..." she said with a wink.

"Keep reading," he said smiling and pulling her over for a kiss. He could taste himself when they kissed, and he had to admit, he found that highly erotic.

She pulled away slightly, "I'd love to get into this with you some more...but...Eric's gonna be here like ANY minute...I think you should have your pants on when he gets here..."

"Good point," Vaughn said, his voice slowly returning to normal.

She smiled getting up and helping him put his boxers and pants back on.

They literally just got them on when the doorbell rang.

Sydney looked over at Vaughn smiling, he still looked pretty whipped, but maybe Eric would think he wasn't feeling well. She hoped anyway...

She got up to answer the door, looking at Vaughn, who repositioned himself quickly.

Sydney opened the door to a very jolly-looking Eric Weiss.

"HI SYD!" he yelled, pulling her into a hug.

"Uh! Hi Eric," she choked out in between.

He let her go, moving into the apartment, and pulled Vaughn into a hug too. "It's good to see you man!" he said as he hugged him.

"Yeah...you too...ow...Eric...ow..." Vaughn said.

"Oh sorry Mike," Eric said apologetically, as he backed up slightly.

"No...it's ok...just a little...it's fine," Vaughn concluded.

Sydney sat down next to Vaughn, "You wanna sit Eric?"

"Yeah," he said studying the pair. He looked at Sydney and then back at Vaughn, "You ok man?" he asked.

'Shit,' Sydney thought. Vaughn looked at her sideways, "Yeah...I'm fine...I'm good...you?"

"Yeah, I'm good – you just look a little...I don't know...flushed..."

"I'm fine," Vaughn said clearing his throat.

Weiss looked between the two again, "Am I missing...you just had sex, right?" Eric said with a smile.

Sydney smiled sweetly, "How have you been Eric?"

Weiss laughed heartily, doing his little dance, "Hoooo...ok...score for Vaughn..."

Sydney's sweet smile changed, "If I EVER see you do that again...you won't be walking straight for months..."

Vaughn choked a laugh, watching the terror spread across Eric's face.

"Ok...geez...just happy that you two are...happy..." He said shuffling his feet, "You know I don't have anyone that would do that for me..."

"Sure you do Eric...she just isn't 'real' strictly speaking..." Vaughn retorted.

"Shut up," Eric said, but he was smiling at Vaughn, "Ok, so you wanna see what I got for you or not?"

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah...but you didn't have to do that Eric."

"I know, but I wanted to..." he said presenting him with a box, "Open it," he prodded.

Vaughn smiled, opening the box, riffling through the packing materials.

"Eric, if that's porn – you're going to die," Sydney warned.

Weiss just smiled and winked, "Nah...I'll wait until he gets a little better for that...plus you two make your own I'm sure..."

Sydney sent him a warning glance and was about to say something else, but Vaughn beat her to it.

"What...how did you get this? I mean...it's like IMPOSSIBLE to get..."

Eric smiled, "I've got connections..."

Sydney smiled at the exchange between the two, "What is it honey?" Sydney asked.

Vaughn handed her a box set of videos. She looked at the title: "NHL's Greatest Hits (The Kings Set)...the ULTIMATE hockey collection."

"Very nice Vaughn," she said smiling at a beaming Eric.

"Seriously, Eric – how did you get this?"

"I told you, I've got connections...but if a guy named Crawl ever calls here asking about me...you've never heard of me..." he sat down on the other side of Vaughn, pointing to the box, "See – it's got all the greatest games, all the Kings wins – and all the ones you missed. Last time I came over we only got to watch like one and a half...so..."

"Thanks Eric," Vaughn said looking over at him.

"You're welcome..." Eric replied smiling, "You wanna pop one in?"

Vaughn looked over at Sydney, "You mind?"

"Of course not," she said kissing him, "I'll be in and out; I can take care of some laundry and stuff...k?"

"Yeah..."

"You guys want anything while I'm up?"

Eric smiled, looking at Vaughn, "I'll have some juice..."

"Juice?" Sydney asked in disbelief.

"Yeah...that's what Mike's having...right?"

Vaughn smiled and craned his neck at Sydney, "Yeah, that'd be nice Syd..."

"Ok..." Sydney said shaking her head.

Vaughn looked over at Weiss, "You just totally confused the shit out of her."

"I know, wasn't it great?" Eric said with a huge, dimpled grin.

"It was..." Vaughn agreed.

Eric got up and popped the first tape in the VCR, and sat back down next to Vaughn.

Sydney handed both men the glasses of juice, still shaking her head.

She kissed Vaughn sweetly and then left to take care of her work around the house.

She heard Vaughn call her name from the living room while she was taking a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer. She rushed up the stairs thinking something was wrong, but both men were sitting comfortably on the couch.

"What! What?" Sydney said.

Vaughn looked at her strangely and pointed to the TV, "Zamboni..." he said quietly.

She leaned on the couch, "Oh...GOD...I thought something was wrong..."

He smiled at her, "Nope...just thought you'd like to see it..."

"It's SOOO fun," Sydney said as she watched, entranced like a child. She watched until it went off the ice, "Thanks honey..." she said, pecking him on the cheek before going back to her work.

She popped in periodically to check on them, yelling furiously at the television screen. She thought it was so hilarious that they had probably seen half of these games already, and knew the outcome, yet still felt the need to yell. But Vaughn was in a good mood, and he seemed to be having fun, laughing and joking with Eric, and that was all that mattered to her.


	109. Kung Pow Dinner

**Chapter 109: Kung Pow Dinner**

_"A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body." – Unknown _

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." – Orson Welles

* * *

She was walking through the hall when she heard the phone ring. She walked over, "Hello?" she said.

"Hey Syd..."

"Hi Will...how's it going?"

"Great...I just called Francie – and I'm gonna leave in a few minutes to go pick her up. Then we'll pick up dinner and be home. What do you want us to pick up?"

"Um...let me ask...oh, and Eric is here too...is it ok with you guys if he stays for dinner?"

"Sure...not a problem..."

Sydney walked out to the living room where Vaughn and Eric were yelling at a referee in none too kind language.

"Uh...guys...I hate to interrupt your little tantrum here...but what do you want for dinner...so Will knows what to pick up?"

Weiss shrugged his shoulders, "Whatever...doesn't matter..."

"Vaughn?" Sydney asked.

"I don't really care either..."

"Ok...well," Sydney said, talking to Will again, "They really don't have a preference. I want Chinese...so that's what we're having..."

Will laughed, "Ok...I know what to get you...what do they want?"

"BOYS!" Sydney shouted after they failed to respond to her calls.

"WHAT?" Eric yelled back.

"WHAT. DO. YOU. WANT. – WILL. IS. PICKING. UP. CHINESE."

Vaughn looked at Syd, "I know what you're getting – I'll have that too..."

Weiss thought a moment, "Hmm...Cashew Chicken."

"Ok, got that Will?"

"Yup," he said, "Ok...I'm gonna go get Fran, then we'll pick up the food and be home."

"Ok, sounds great Will, bye."

"Bye Syd."

She hung up the phone and watched the boys yell at the TV for a few minutes before turning and walking back to her chores.

Will and Francie arrived a short time later; bags of Chinese food in their hands.

"Hey guys..." Will said when he entered, seeing Vaughn and Eric on the couch. He looked to the TV after he set the bags down, "Hey – is this that greatest hits thing that like NO ONE can get?"

Weiss beamed, "YES, it is!"

Vaughn looked over at Will, "I didn't know you watched hockey?"

"Well...occasionally...but I know about this!" he said gesturing towards the television where uniformed players flew across the ice. "How did you get it?"

Weiss smiled, "You don't wanna know..."

Will laughed, "Ok...Hey!" he said looking at Vaughn again, "Haircut..."

"Yeah," Vaughn said smiling.

"How did you get a haircut?"

"Sydney did it..."

"Cool," Will said walking back to the kitchen.

They all congregated in the living room, Will and Francie and Sydney bringing in plates.

"What did you get?" Weiss asked when he looked at Vaughn's plate.

"Sydney's favorite – lo mein..." Vaughn said smiling.

Sydney sat down next to Vaughn on the couch and Will and Francie took residence in the chairs adjacent to the couch.

"Want an eggroll?" Will asked Francie.

"No...you can keep your eggrolls Will," Francie said, "I'll stick with my pal, General Tso and his chicken, thanks."

"Don't know what you're missing," Will said through a mouthful.

"Yes, I do..." Francie retorted, looking over at the three on the couch. Something was different, "Hey!" she said, "Michael...you got a haircut!"

Vaughn laughed, "Yes, I did..."

"Syd, did you do that?" Francie asked.

"Yes, I did," Sydney said proudly, running her hand through Vaughn's hair.

"Great job..." Francie complimented.

Will and Francie cleaned up the dishes, leaving Sydney and Vaughn and Weiss on the couch.

"You wanna watch some more hockey?" Eric asked.

"Uh...sure...but I'm not so sure that the ladies will like that..."

Sydney rolled her eyes, "I love you honey, but I have to agree – I like the live games...and then the after party..."

Vaughn smiled, and Weiss groaned, "Please...don't tell me...I already know too much about what you did before I got here and I really don't even know..."

Sydney laughed at the disgusted look on his face.

"What's so funny?" Francie asked as she and Will reentered the room.

"Eric's pretending he's Will – he doesn't like that Vaughn and I actually engage in–"

"If you finish that..." Weiss said, cutting her off.

Francie joined Sydney in the giggles, as Vaughn cracked a smug smile.

Will just shared a "see what I put up with" look with Weiss, who nodded sympathetically.

"Ok...boys...you watch the players pummeling the shit out of each other, us girls are gonna go do something fun," Francie informed everyone.

"We are?" Sydney asked, looking at Vaughn.

He smiled, letting her know it was ok to leave him.

"YES," Francie said, grabbing Sydney's hand and pulling her off the couch.

She leaned down to kiss Vaughn quickly, "No beer – no junk food – got it?" she asked all of them.

"Yeah, we got it..." Eric mumbled, eyes transfixed on the screen.

Sydney looked slightly apprehensive, but Francie pulled her out anyway, giving her a knowing smile.

"JUST US BOYS!" Weiss shouted when Francie and Sydney left the house. "WOOHOO!"

Vaughn chuckled, as did Will.

"Ok...so what game is this?" Will asked, "Is this the one where they should have thrown the ref like into the goal cause he was such an ass?"

"When are they NOT asses?" Weiss asked, looking over at Will.

"True – but what's that guy's name...um...Sanders?"

"OH GOD!" Weiss shouted, making Vaughn grin.

"You've opened up the biggest can of worms Will...prepare yourself."

"WHAT A MORON!" Weiss started, "I MEAN, FIRST – HE'S LIKE A SHORT, LITTLE ASS OF A MAN...AND HE CAN'T SEE s! I MEAN THEY SHOULD CALL HIM WATCHMAN – BOTH HIS EYES KEEP WATCHING HIS NOSE!"

Will spit out his drink when he heard that fly out of the mouth of the man sitting next to Vaughn.

Vaughn started laughing, knowing that was only the beginning.

"THEY SHOULD CALL HIM TRAINMAN – HE'S PLAIN LOCO AND NO MOTIVE!"

He stopped and then recouped again, "OR YOU COULD CALL HIM SURRENDER – YOU TAKE ONE LOOK AT HIM AND GIVE UP!"

Both Vaughn and Will were crying with laughter, and Weiss just kept going... "THEY SHOULD CALL HIM DRYCLEANER CAUSE HE GETS EVERYONE SO STEAMED UP!"

Sydney looked over at Francie as she was driving, "Where are we going?"

Francie smiled, "Shopping! Where else?"

Sydney laughed, "Ok..."

"Plus, the nail place is open like until 10:00 or something, so we can go have some fun in there too!"

"Great Francie..." Sydney said, but she was thinking about Vaughn.

Francie picked up on this right away of course, "Hey...he'll be ok...and you do need to get out every once in awhile..."

"Yeah...I know...I just...well I don't like leaving him...he can't 'get out.'"

Francie nodded, "He will...but you can't be in the house like every minute."

Sydney looked over at her, "You didn't tell Vaughn that, did you?"

"NO! Of course not...I wouldn't do that," Francie said mildly offended, "Why?"

"He just said something to me...sounded a lot like that..."

"Like what?"

"Like if I was overwhelmed being with him, or if I get frustrated a lot."

"Are you? Do you?" Francie asked softly, looking concernedly at her friend.

Sydney smiled, "No...I don't feel that way...I mean it's not easy...but I love spending time with him, taking care of him. It's not hard...not really...he's got it much rougher than I do..."

"Yeah, but you have to take care of yourself too Sydney..."

"I do...why does everyone assume I don't?"

"Well...I don't mean to piss you off or anything...I just mean, it's got to be trying...you know..."

"I understand Francie, and it's great that you worry about me...but I'm alright...really...I sleep and I eat...I take care of myself..."

"Ok...just have to make sure," Francie said smiling and turning her gaze back to the road.

Francie and Sydney spent a few hours perusing the mall shops, stopping to get their nails done as they had discussed. Sydney was thinking on the way home, she'd had a good time...it was fun to just have a girls' night out...or a part of one anyway...and she went about ten minutes without a Vaughn thought...she understood that they needed time apart, that he needed a wider support group. She knew he was ok with Will and Eric, but that wasn't the point. She liked being with him...and she didn't find anything wrong with the fact that he felt the same...hmm...deep thoughts...

The ride was largely silent, Francie realizing Sydney needed space to think.

They pulled into the driveway and got out with their packages, and laughed about something or another while walking to the house.

The house was dark except for a light they could see from the kitchen and the flashes from the television that was still on.

Sydney felt very ill all of a sudden, and she bolted past Francie.

"What?" Francie asked confused, watching Sydney run towards the house.

She threw open the door and ran over to the couch...what she saw certainly wasn't what she expected to see when they had left...


	110. The Quiet Hour

**Chapter 110: The Quiet Hour**

_"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." – Martin Luther King Jr. _

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.  
But I have promises to keep,  
And miles to go before I sleep  
And miles to go before I sleep."  
-Robert Frost

"True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment." – William Penn\

* * *

"SHHHH!" Will and Eric both hissed at her as she caught her breath, looking down at the couch.

She had feared the worst, but the vision in front of her was one of the sweetest she could have come up with.

Three men were still on the couch; largely in the same place they had been when she had left. However, Vaughn was asleep – his head leaning on Will's shoulder. Will looked like he might drop over himself; his eyelids were fluttering as he tried to deny sleep. Weiss seemed the most awake of the three. They looked the vision of three stages – one sleeping, one dozing, one wide-awake. Sydney smiled as she looked at the three of them. Vaughn was covered in a blanket, he seemed comfortable to the onlooker, but she knew his sleeping patterns too well. He wasn't sleeping soundly or he was disturbed in his sleep. His brow was furrowed slightly too, she thought, looking at him, maybe the angle was just wrong...

Francie finally came to join her, looking at Will and smiling when she saw Vaughn sleeping on his shoulder, "Aww...Syd...you should get the camera."

She tilted her head to look at Vaughn more closely, Weiss looking at her strangely. "He was over on my shoulder for a while, but I got tired...so it was Will's turn..." he said quietly.

Will yawned, looking down at the sleeping Vaughn. He looked to Sydney, "You think he's ok? He looks kinda...pained?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Sydney said quietly, "Let's get him to bed..."

"Ok," Will said, easing him off of his shoulder.

"Eric – can you help us?"

"Sure," Eric said, moving to grab Vaughn.

"Wait," Sydney instructed. Weiss backed off. "Can you get up?" she asked Eric. He nodded and got up.

"I'll take this side," Sydney informed him.

He didn't say anything, but nodded. Will took Vaughn's other side, and Weiss grabbed his legs. They walked him slowly to the bedroom, depositing him gently on the bed. Sydney maneuvered him so that his back wasn't on the bed and then turned, smiling at the other two men and Francie. "Thanks guys..." she said.

"No problem," Will said, yawning, "I think I'm gonna go to bed...you coming?" he asked Francie.

"Sure, night Syd...night Eric."

"Night guys," Weiss said and then turned back to Sydney, "Is he ok?"

"I'm not sure...he just looks...well...he looks like he's not really resting..."

"Yeah, I guess he kinda does..." Eric agreed, "You want me to stay?"

"No...that's sweet Eric, but we're ok..."

"Ok...well...call me if something happens...ok?"

"Yeah...was he ok after I left?"

"Yeah...he seemed fine. He was kinda quiet later on...but he was fine...I mean he wasn't in pain or anything...Will gave him his pills..."

Sydney smiled, "Well, thank God for Will, because I forgot to say anything."

"Yeah...but...yeah, he was ok..."

"Hmm...well, I'll let you know. Thanks for coming over. He really likes that...I think he misses you..."

"I miss him too. I'll call you tomorrow..."

"Ok, see ya Eric."

"Bye Syd."

Sydney dressed herself for bed and then did the same for Vaughn. She had to sit him up and everything, and he didn't wake. She laughed softly because after all the injuries and everything he'd been through, this was the first time she could remember actually dressing him alone, the first time he'd been asleep when she was doing it.

He seemed to snuggle into her though when she had him sitting up to change his shirt. She smiled as she felt him shift slightly, burrowing his head in her neck.

She lay him down and noticed that he seemed more relaxed. Perhaps he just knew she was there...

She got him settled and then left for a few minutes to brush her teeth and other necessities and then came back in. He looked tense again, the brow furrowed in subdued anxiety.

She got into bed, lying next to him, "Hey..." she said, "easy honey...try not to think so much..."

His face turned towards her, but he didn't wake. Some of the tension seemed to leave, but his body was stiff, rigid...like he was tensing his muscles for some reason.

She ran her hands up and down his chest, trying to calm him.

He woke suddenly, trying to sit, but failing to do so because Sydney was lying half on him.

"Vaughn..." she said softly, but confidently, trying to get him out of whatever mind realm he was in.

He didn't respond to his name at first. She tried again, a little louder, "Vaughn..."

He was breathing heavily, his gaze unfocused and distant.

"Michael..." she finally said. He turned his head towards her.

"Syd?"

"Yeah sweetie...what happened?"

"Weren't you shopping?" he asked confused.

"You fell asleep on the couch...I came back a while ago..."

"I...did Eric leave?"

"Yeah, a little while ago...after we brought you in here...what happened? Did you have a nightmare?"

"No...it wasn't really a nightmare...just...disturbing..."

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"N-nothing...I – I really don't want to talk about it if it's ok..."

"Yeah...sure honey, if you're sure."

"Yeah, I just...I'm ok..." he said, reassuring her.

"Ok...you wanna go back to sleep?"

"No, not really...not right now..."

"You wanna talk?" Sydney asked, hoping that maybe he'd tell her what he had been dreaming about.

"What did you buy when you were shopping?" Vaughn asked, deliberately avoiding the subject.

"Not much, we got our nails done...what did you boys do?"

"Watched the hockey tapes...that was about it. I really don't remember falling asleep."

She smiled, "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Yeah, it was nice with Francie – girls night out or whatever, but I missed you...all I think about is you..."

"Me too," he said smiling.

"It was ok that I left, right? I really didn't want to."

Vaughn looked at her for a moment, "It's fine Sydney...you can go places...you can do stuff...more if you want...I'm ok..."

"I don't like leaving you..."

"That shouldn't stop you..."

She smiled, "You wanna tell me what your dream was about?"

He smiled, sighing, if he didn't tell her, she'd just keep asking until he did, so he figured he'd just get it out of the way. "It was just weird...we were having dinner – all of us...you, me, Francie and Will...it was normal...but then, I don't know – it changed somehow."

"Changed how?" Sydney asked.

"They just seemed different..." he looked over at her, "you did too..."

"What do you mean? Different?"

"Yeah...just acted different..." he paused, looking away, "resentful."

"Resentful! Vaughn...it was just a dream...we don't resent you..."

He smiled, "Yeah, it was just disturbing..."

"Honey," she said getting even closer to him, "it was just a dream...it's ok..."

"Yeah..."

"You ready to go back to sleep?"

"Yeah, ok," he said.

She smiled and laid her head on his chest. He listened as her breathing got deeper and deeper as she slipped off to sleep. He lay awake for a long time, staring at the ceiling, thinking.

His thoughts seemed to go all over the place, bouncing around inside his head like a pinball machine, passing in and out, lingering and fading.

'It was just a dream'...Sydney had told him. 'That's right...just a dream...get it together Michael'...he thought while he stared at that huge white square that was the ceiling. But as the silence of the room caught up with him, permeating his surroundings, it was as if his thoughts got louder, questioning, pondering, what if...what if?


	111. Opening Pandora's Box

**Chapter 111: Opening Pandora's Box **

_"Be passionate in your work and in your searching." – Ivan Pavlov _

"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought." – Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi

"I have found power in the mysteries of thought,  
exaltation in the changing of the Muses;  
I have been versed in the reasonings of men;  
but Fate is stronger than anything I have known." – Euripides

* * *

Sydney woke refreshed and relaxed, comfortable in Vaughn's embrace. She looked up at him, expecting a sleeping visage, but he was wide-awake.

"Hey," she said surprised, "You're awake..."

"Uh huh," he said smiling slightly.

"How long?" Sydney asked.

He smiled again, "A while..."

"You look tired," she observed out loud, "You didn't really sleep at all, did you?"

"Not much...not really..."

"Why didn't you wake me up? I could have stayed up with you...we could have talked..."

"What's the sense of both of us being tired?"

"What's the sense of one of us being miserable?" Sydney retorted.

Vaughn smiled, "You're always right, aren't you?"

She smiled, "Well – yeah...I'm the woman..." She leaned up to kiss him, "Was this still about the dream last night?"

"Yeah...just thinking too much I think..."

"Should we talk about it some more?"

"No...I know what you're saying. I understand that here," he said pointing to his head, "I just have to make myself believe it here," he said pointing to his heart.

"Ok honey..." she said smiling at him and pecking him on the cheek, "You want breakfast?"

"Sure..."

"Ok, I'll be right back."

Sydney got up and went out into the kitchen to make breakfast. She was lost in her own thoughts and just barely saved the eggs she was making before they burned in the pan. 'Jesus, I'm burning eggs now,' she thought to herself. She finished getting it ready and brought it in to Vaughn.

He was lying where she had left him, eyes fixed on the ceiling. He looked over at her when she entered and she helped him sit to eat.

He was quiet at breakfast, too quiet. She let the meal go by without prodding him, but after she took the dishes out and came back in to start them out for the day, she had to say something.

"You're too quiet Vaughn...what are you thinking about?" she asked.

Vaughn smiled, "I'm sorry honey...I guess I'm just not in a talkative mood..."

"What kind of mood are you in?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

She looked at him squarely, "If you want me to help...I have to know what's going on..."

"I know..."

She was silent, waiting for him, but he didn't say anything.

He finally brought his gaze up to meet hers, but still no words issued forth from him.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" she asked quietly and compassionately.

He looked at her for a moment, "No...I'd rather you stay..." he said looking down, but then he looked up again, "But if you want to go...you can..."

She looked at him strangely, "Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes."

"Then that's all you have to say..." she said. Then she added, "We should change your bandages and exercise..."

"Ok," he responded.

She nodded and went to get the materials she'd need, then came back to him and changed his bandages, largely wordlessly. When finished with the bandages, she sat down and helped him through the deep breathing. They followed the exercise routine, doing the crunches, and he did several himself. The only sounds were those of exertion, and the standing exercise was the same way.

Sydney had to admit to herself that the silence was deafening, but there wasn't anything else she could say. She couldn't force him to talk to her, nor did she want their conversation to go that way. He simply needed time, she thought, and that she had to give. She didn't think either of them would benefit from idle chitchat or bullshit.

Once they finished, she helped him dress and then settled him back on the bed.

"You wanna do some work?" she asked, lifting the silence that had settled over them for almost an hour.

"Sure," he said.

She smiled and went off to fetch the laptop and the files. She handed him the computer and the Vespertini file that she knew he'd ask for anyway.

He smiled his acceptance and logged onto the CIA mainframe.

Sydney took her spot next to him on the bed and started reading the files and taking notes.

Once he was logged on, Vaughn tried several searches for Alexander Vespertini.

He sighed in frustration, his brow furrowed and his face one of aggravation.

Sydney looked over at him, "What's wrong Vaughn?"

"There's really nothing here...on Vespertini..."

"Hmm...well...what is there?"

"It's basically the same stuff from the file," he started, "It says that Alexander Vespertini was born in Italy, January 25th, 1969. There is seriously no information beyond that about his early childhood. There aren't any records on him, no activities, until 1990. Then after that, it's just endless flight logs, telephone calls, bank transfers, none of which are really traceable of course. It's like the information isn't there until months after...he just disappears...and then there are periods of time when there's no activity. Zilch...none...he's not even on the radar screen for like...months at a time...the longest break is like six months...right here...then after that there's a surge in activity." Vaughn stopped, looking over at Sydney. She was smiling broadly.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing...you just sounded..."

"Normal?" he offered.

She smiled, "No...just...professional...haven't heard that Michael Vaughn in a while..."

He smiled back, "It was kinda fun..." he admitted.

"Do it again," she said, putting her file down and leaning on his shoulder.

He laughed, "Ok...um...this is what I don't get – there are all these records, and there's some indication that he's had dealings in arms, but mostly – it looks like he's just a traveler. Why is this guy an associate of Sloane's? What purpose would he have? What does he do for Sloane? Traffic? No...I don't think the records would be this...available...it just doesn't make sense..."

Sydney smiled, "You'll figure it out..."

He turned to her and kissed her lightly, "Thanks."

She let go of his arm, and went back to her work, still smiling widely.

Vaughn went back to his search.

They fell into a comfortable work silence; the only sounds coming from Vaughn were clicking and one-handed typing. Sydney's sounds were limited also to her pen scrawling notes on her notepad.

She looked over at the clock, "Jesus...time really flies..."

He looked over at the clock too, "Yeah, I guess so...it's almost 1:00..."

"We should eat...Barnett..."

"Yeah," he said, "I'll keep going...while you...that is...if you were planning to make lunch..."

She smiled, "It's ok to assume I am..." she kissed him on the cheek, "Keep up the good work, I'll be right back."

"K," he said, staring intently as the screens scrolled and flashed before him.

Sydney reentered a few minutes later with lunch. She held out the plate to Vaughn, but he didn't notice.

Finally as her arm was getting tired, she said, "Vaughn?"

He looked over, "Oh! Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"S'ok..." she replied, helping to move the laptop off of his lap.

"Leave that screen up, ok?" he said as he eyed the monitor on the computer.

"Yeah, ok..." she said looking at him strangely, "Did you find something?"

"Nothing substantial, just more bits and pieces, but I'm not done..."

"Ok...I'll leave it up..."

"Thanks," he said as she retook her place next to him.

When they were done eating, Vaughn looked over at the clock, "I probably shouldn't start that again," he said nodding towards the laptop, "Barnett will be here in a few minutes..."

Sydney was silent for a minute and then asked, "Should I leave it up yet? Just put it away?"

"No...that's ok...just save the link I was reading..."

"Ok sweetie," she said as she saved the link and shut the computer down. She took the files and the computer out into the living room and then came back to Vaughn.

She sat down on the bed next to him and took his hand. They said nothing, just sat, sharing their warmth with each other. Sydney wished she could give him more for these sessions, she wished there was something else she could do...she was still lost in thought when the doorbell rang. She gave his hand one last squeeze and kissed him, stood up, and went to the door.


	112. Barnett's Barrage, Part Two

**Chapter 112: Barnett's Barrage, Part Two **

_"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me." – Woody Allen _

"When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil." – Dale Carnegie

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that once our eyes watered." – Tom Stoppard

* * *

"Hello Sydney," Barnett said as she entered.

"Hi Dr. Barnett," Sydney answered.

"Is Michael in the bedroom?"

"Yes he is..." Sydney said motioning for her to follow.

"Hello Michael...how are you doing today?" Barnett said as she entered the bedroom.

"I'm ok...not too bad..."

"I'll leave you guys to it..." Sydney said, smiling at Vaughn and closing the door softly.

"How's the week been going Michael? Any setbacks since I last saw you?" Barnett inquired as she sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Not yet..."

"Excellent...I want to talk a little bit about Dr. Barker to start off today..."

"What about him?" Vaughn asked confused.

"He's your friend as well as your doctor, correct?"

"Yeah...we went to college together...Why?"

"Do you think that he allows his friendship to cloud his judgment where you are concerned; that maybe he's your friend first and then your doctor?"

"No, Tom is always very professional...he's a doctor first..."

"Mmmhmm...what about the other people in the house...Will and...Francie is it?" Barnett asked, looking at her notepad.

"Yeah..."

"How do they treat you?"

"Very well...they're very nice...they help out..."

"With what?"

"Meals...moving me around...problems..."

"Problems?"

"Like when I have a setback...they help out..."

"How do they handle that?"

"Quite well...I mean it's hard sometimes I'm sure for them..."

"How do you think they feel about you being here?"

Vaughn looked over at her, "I don't know...you'd have to ask them..."

"I'm asking how you think they feel..."

"I don't know...they seem to be ok with it...that I'm here..."

"You said they're very nice..."

"Yeah..."

"Perhaps they're just protecting you then..."

"Protecting me from what?"

"Maybe they really find it to be a hindrance – you presence – but they are too nice to say anything..."

Vaughn sat dumbfounded for a moment, "I guess...I guess I've never...that's not what they tell me..."

"Does it seem as though their relationship has changed since you've been here? More tenuous perhaps?"

"I...I don't think so...I mean...well..." he paused, "I had this dream yesterday, but that's all it was...they didn't actually..."

"What was the dream?"

"Well, I guess it's what you're suggesting, that they really find me...a hindrance..."

"Has your relationship with Sydney changed since this has happened?"

"Well...sure..."

"How so?"

"Well...I mean we spend a lot more time together...more than we did before..."

"Does that bother you?"

"No, not at all, I love being with her all the time."

"How do you think Sydney likes it?"

"She seems to...she tells me she does..."

"Tells you...perhaps she doesn't tell you when it bothers her then? Was she in the dream as well?"

"Well...I mean...she...there's going to be times when we get on each others nerves...but...and yes, she was in the dream..."

"How often do you think Sydney gets frustrated..."

"I don't know..."

"Weekly, daily, hourly?"

"I don't know...daily I guess..."

"How would you know she's frustrated?"

"Um...she'd tell me..."

"Would she?"

Vaughn looked at Barnett hard, "What are you saying she wouldn't tell me?"

"Why would she? Wouldn't that just make you upset to know she's frustrated?"

Vaughn looked down, brow furrowed, "I...I don't know..."

"Does she ever tell you she is?"

"Yeah...every once in awhile..."

"But you think she gets frustrated more than that..."

"I don't know...I guess so..."

"How often do you get frustrated?"

"With Sydney? Never."

"No...yourself..."

"All the time..."

"Why?"

He sighed, and then took a deep breath, "I can't do anything..."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't move by myself, I can't walk, can't go anywhere, can't write, can't hold anything, hell, half the time I don't eat by myself...I don't bathe myself, I don't do anything for myself," he said quietly.

"That would be frustrating..."

He snorted, "Yeah, takes a shrink to tell me that..." he said sarcastically.

Barnett smiled, "So you must be angry a lot..."

"No...not really..."

"Why not? You just said you can't do anything for yourself...that would make me pretty angry..."

"There's nothing I can do about it."

"That's rather defeatist, don't you think?"

"I'm not defeated, I'm just realistic..."

"Do you think that's why Sydney gets frustrated? Because you have a 'realistic' attitude?"

"What the hell...I mean come on! How the hell am I supposed to answer that? I didn't say that I'm not angry ever...I just said I'm not angry all the time...what would I do if I was – I'd just make other people miserable."

"So you are angry then..."

"GOD! Of course I'm angry. For Christ's sake! I mean, do you think I like being in this bed all the time? People carting me all over shit when I wanna go somewhere? That I can't even fucking move by myself? Do you think it's easy not being able to go outside when you want to, to have to stay in the bed all day. Do you know how fucking frustrating it is that your girlfriend has to do everything for you? And that's not even scratching the surface! Constant pain, muscle spasms, fucking infected wounds – yeah those are a treat. Spontaneously bleeding wounds, ENDLESS setbacks – how the fuck am I not supposed to be frustrated? Nightmares and shit, have you ever cried because it hurt so much? Think about it...how would you like daily, everyday things to remind you of torture? Huh? Would that make you a very happy person? Your fucking girlfriend has to do everything, she's crying cause she can't do shit for you and she somehow thinks that's her fault. Her fucking friends are like standing there, scared shitless and calling the doctors. Even the fucking doctors – every time Tom comes over here I worry that he's gonna make me go back to that godforsaken hospital. Everyone is SO nice...yeah...so fucking nice that they can go do whatever they want and they can say "Oh gee...poor Michael...rough night, just can't catch a break, well I'll see ya later!" Then they can go out and talk about how horrible it is, poor Michael, sitting there."

"Do you like them pitying you?"

"I don't want ANYONE'S pity!" Vaughn yelled.

"Well...you certainly seem to be embracing their words..."

"Hey fuck you! I am not pitying myself!" Vaughn said defensively. "You asked me a goddamn question and I'm answering it. You wanna know if I'm angry? You bet your ass I am...but ya know what? Who the fuck am I gonna take it out on? I've already made the mistake of blowing up at Sydney – the one person that cares the most about me. I won't do that to her...so who am I gonna yell at?" He looked around the room; "I don't see Sloane around here for me to get mad at. I don't see anyone that did this to me near here! I would like nothing better than to fucking torture Sloane the same way he did it to me, burning him with shit, whipping him, making him think shit that isn't real...only I'd be nicer at the end and I'd kill him. But there's nobody here for me to punch or anything...and ya know – even if there was, the sickest part of the whole fucking joke – I couldn't fucking do anything to them anyway! I could throw a mean dirty look that's about it!"

"So how to you release your anger then?" Barnett asked calmly, as if he hadn't just completely blown up at her.

"I don't."

"So what happens to it?"

"Nothing!"

"You just said – that you've yelled at Sydney – taken it out on her...if you don't let it out...what do you think will happen?"

Vaughn looked at her wildly, "Are you suggesting that I'd hurt Sydney?"

Barnett was silent. After a moment she said, "If you don't release the tension Michael...where will it go? Who will be here when it does?"

"I wouldn't do that..." Vaughn said strangely calm, "I would never hurt Sydney...I don't ever get that angry..."

Barnett could visibly see him trying to calm himself down, regulating his breathing, and struggling to control his emotions, "Well...then you must have an outlet..."

Vaughn was silent for a moment and then said, "You know on Monday...when you were talking about sex being an outlet..."

"Yes."

He looked over at her, "Do people really talk to you about this stuff?"

"All the time Michael..."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"They talk to you about their sex lives and stuff like that?"

"Think about your job Michael...think about Sydney's job...the nature of the job is one that plays on sexuality, it's just a job hazard, I guess you'd say. Think about undercover agents...what they have to do at times...I've heard it all Michael..."

Vaughn smiled faintly, "The only reason I'm not angry all the time is Sydney..."

"Sydney keeps you from getting angry?"

"It's easy to lose yourself in Sydney...and I take great pleasure in doing so..." he said with a smile.

"Sex with Sydney is your outlet?"

Vaughn was silent again and then said quietly, "The other day...we had a fight...I wanted to...make love...and she said no. Well, she didn't say no, she said later...but I, well, I took it the wrong way. I got mad...she never said no before. I depend on her being there...I depend on her keeping me grounded, and when she said no, I had no idea what to do...whenever I'm scared or hurt or frustrated, anything, she's there...and I'm ok again."

"What would happen if she wasn't there..." It was a question, but Barnett didn't make it sound as though it was.

"Yeah, exactly...that's all I thought about...I think I would be...much angrier..." he stopped, thinking, "but Sydney has every right to say no. It's just so confusing...I need her so much...but I have to be able to be ok alone..."

Barnett said nothing, letting him think.

"Even the sex sometimes...I love Sydney...the sex is, well it's always mind blowing."

"Very tension-releasing?" Barnett said with a small smile.

Vaughn blushed, "Yeah...it is...but even that gets frustrating..."

"Why?"

"Because she always has to do everything. She always says we're making love...but that's not really true. She's making love to me...I'm not making love to her...do you know what I mean?"

"I believe so...you're always...on the bottom?"

Vaughn smiled, "Right...which is fine, I'm not complaining in the least. She takes very good care of me, in all departments. She's so beautiful and sexy, I mean, maybe it shouldn't bother me..."

"Do you think this is a control issue?"

"What do you mean?"

"That you feel powerless because you're on the bottom?"

"Well, I mean...not that this is a huge ego inflator, but realistically, I'm pretty powerless. I mean, I help...but it's not like I'm..." he stopped trying to find the least embarrassing word, "well, I can't come up with anything besides 'thrusting.'"

Barnett smiled, "It's ok Michael...just say what's on your mind, ok?"

"Yeah...it's not about control...our sex life before that was never about control. We didn't fight for power in bed...we'd switch, you know...but now...there is no switching, I can't switch. And you know, in the beginning, I was just happy that she was there and she was willing to do that for me...but I mean, I would think it's pretty frustrating for her too. She likes control as much as the next woman, but I mean, I don't know..."

"You feel...inadequate?" Barnett said gently.

Vaughn sighed, "Well...yeah...I want to be able to fulfill her too..."

"Have you talked about this?"

"Yeah..."

"And what does Sydney say?"

"Well...what is she gonna say? Vaughn you suck in bed? She always tells me she...she's satisfied...I just..."

"You think maybe she's protecting you too? Perhaps the same way Francie and Will and maybe even Dr. Barker are?"

Vaughn was silent, looking at the comforter, "Maybe..." he said finally, faintly.

Barnett nodded, "I think that's good for today Michael...think about what we talked about today, ok? I'll see you on Friday then and we'll continue..."

"Ok," he said quietly, not looking at her.

Sydney heard the bedroom door open and she looked up as Barnett smiled and walked past her.

She had tried to do some work, but it was impossible; she couldn't concentrate when therapy was happening in the next room. She'd heard shouting at one point and actually moved to the door, ready to open it, but then the shouting lessened and she sat back down. It was more than slightly unnerving to hear shouts and not be able to go in there, not know what was happening.

"I'll see you Friday Sydney..." Barnett said as she let herself out.

"Ok," Sydney said, walking quickly back to the bedroom.


	113. Justification

**Chapter 113: Justification**

_"Uncertainty will always be part of the taking charge process." – Harold Geneen _

"Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear.  
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer.  
It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal.  
But lately I'm beginning to find I should be the one behind the wheel.  
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there with open arms and open eyes. yeah.  
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, I'll be there.  
So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive  
will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive? oh oh oooh.  
It's driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around.  
But lately I'm beginning to find that when I drive myself my light is found.  
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there with open arms and open eyes. Yeah.  
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, I'll be there...  
Would you choose water over wine...hold the wheel and drive?  
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there with open arms and open eyes.  
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there I'll be there." – "Drive" – Incubus

"Maturity of mind is the capacity to endure uncertainty." – John Finley

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." – Frank Crane

* * *

Vaughn looked deep in thought when Sydney bolted to the bedroom.

He smiled at her, but he didn't say anything. For lack of better words, she would have said he looked confused...like he was grappling with a topic too big for him to handle.

"You ok?" she asked quietly, "I was worried; there was some yelling..."

He smiled sheepishly, "I got angry..."

"Yeah...I could tell..." she said equally quiet, sitting down on the bed next to him, "What got you so angry?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Just talking about stuff..."

"Like what?" she prodded gently, "Sloane?"

"Yeah...lots of stuff..."

He didn't offer anything more, and she didn't want to press.

"Do you want me to hold you again? While you process?"

He smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that..."

She smiled in return and moved to hold him. He snuggled into her embrace, sighing heavily. It was amazing how Sydney could change his whole world with just a simple touch. His chest had been tightening ever since he and Barnett had started their discussion, and it had gotten worse after he had yelled at Barnett. He'd rarely raised his voice since, since he couldn't even remember when, and his lungs didn't particularly care for that.

Sydney didn't miss much, and less when it came to Vaughn, and she noticed he seemed a little hoarse, "You want me to get some water or something? Tea maybe?"

He smiled, turning his head to look at her. Her gaze glowed with love as she smiled a dimpled smile at him. She touched his face, stroking lightly.

"Yeah...that'd be good..." he said, swallowing rather painfully.

"Ok," she said moving him back to the bed, "I'll be right back," she said as she went out.

She made the tea and brought the steaming cup back to him. She sat down carefully on the bed, and handed him the cup, "It's honey lemon...should help your throat..."

He sipped it, brow furrowing at the temperature, but it felt good on his sensitive throat. He pulled Sydney down again so she could hold him and she obliged happily, taking him into her arms and holding him while he drank his tea and thought.

"Do you think Will and Francie really want me here?" he asked suddenly, out of the blue.

"What?" Sydney asked turning him wildly. "Why would you ask something like that? Why are you asking me this again actually? I thought we were through this already."

He shrugged, "Just thinking...maybe...maybe they're just too nice to say anything..."

"Vaughn," she said shaking her head, "They don't feel that way..."

"How do you know?"

"Because they tell me...and look – last night you fell asleep on Will and he was fine with it..."

"Maybe they're just being nice to you too..."

"Vaughn..."

"Do you get mad at me?"

"What?" she said in an equally exasperated tone.

"Angry...do you get frustrated with me a lot? I mean...I can't imagine how much it must, just suck, to be here with me all the time when I can't do anything for myself..."

"Vaughn...I don't get it...where is all this coming from?"

"Just thinking..." he said again, looking down.

"Vaughn," she said, "I get frustrated...how could I not? But I'm never frustrated with YOU...it's just what happens to you...honey, I don't regret for a minute the time I'm spending with you..." she paused, thinking, "I don't get it Vaughn...why are you asking all of this now?"

He shrugged yet again.

"Vaughn, talk to me..."

"I was just thinking...that's all..." he said quietly.

"Just all of a sudden...you're thinking about this...again..."

He smiled slightly, "Barnett...well...we were just talking...just made me think...ya know...maybe...I don't know."

She made him look at her, "Is that why you were yelling?"

He didn't answer, but his non-answering was all the confirmation she needed.

"All of us, ALL OF US, want you here Vaughn. No one is mad at you...no one is 'just being nice.' We care about you...ok?"

He smiled, "It just...it gets confusing...all the cross-talking..."

Sydney stroked his cheek, "I'm sorry honey...I know..." she hesitated, "should I call Barnett? Maybe ask her...I don't know...why she's doing it?"

"No. No...I don't want you to do that..." he said quickly.

"Are you sure, cause I'd be glad to..."

"NO. Really...you don't need to call...I was just...thinking...really..."

"Ok, if you're sure..." Sydney said.

He nodded.

"Ok...why don't you rest...take a nap...rest your throat...you didn't get enough sleep last night..."

"Yeah, ok..." he said.

She smiled and kissed him and then moved to leave him.

"Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay until I fall asleep?"

She smiled as she looked down at him, "Of course..."

She put the mug on the table and wrapped him in her arms tightly.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep; he was exhausted. She stayed with him until she could tell by the familiar sounds of his deep breathing that he was in fact sleeping soundly. She gently moved out from in back of him and laid him on the bed, leaving him alone to rest.

Sydney's next stop was the living room. She picked up the phone immediately and dialed. The answering service picked up, "Dispatch."

"This is officer 2300844, may I speak with Dr. Barnett please?"

There was music and then, "Barnett..."

"Hi Dr. Barnett, this is Sydney Bristow."

"Hello Sydney...what can I do for you? Is Michael alright?"

"Yeah...I think so...I...well...this is probably going to sound very forward and perhaps out of line...but I wanted to know why exactly you're telling Vaughn things that aren't true?"

"What is it exactly that you think I'm lying about?"

"He's questioning an awful lot about me...about if I really want him here...if my friends want him at the house...and if I get frustrated with him. I imagine there's more...but that's all he's asked about so far..."

"Sydney, I'm simply trying to gain insight into how the torture has affected Michael's thought process. Rationality vs. Emotions..."

"And to do that, you're using me?" Sydney said with a lot of distaste.

"Sydney," Barnett stated calmly, "Michael has some very carefully placed walls that he's constructed as a result of his torture...and I've found that he only truly responds emotionally when we talk about you...in order to strip the walls he's placed, I need to use the thing that makes him the most emotional. Rationally, he understands that the things I'm talking about aren't true, but emotionally, he's very confused." She paused, "Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it makes sense, but I don't have to like it..."

Barnett was silent; then said, "No, Sydney you don't have to like it..."

Sydney asked quietly, "What happens when you break the walls?"

"Well...once the walls are down, then he'll be more open and responsive to getting better, to getting past what happened to him. Instead of trying to resist it all, avoid it all, he'll be able to work through it. That's the real therapy..."

Sydney was quiet, thinking until Barnett brought her out of her thought, "Sydney...I'm sorry to have to say this...but I would like it if you weren't in the house for the next session."

"What? Why?" Sydney asked in a mix of anxiety and disbelief.

"I plan to be very aggressive with him...I think that's best...and I anticipate that we'll break though his walls...but it won't happen if you're there..."

"Why not? You're going to kick me out of my own house?"

"I'm asking you to leave for the session because if you're there, he won't respond effectively. He's extremely emotional about you, and protective, and if you're there, it will just make things more difficult."

"So, I'm just supposed to leave him alone with you?"

"Yes," Barnett said simply.

"I'll have to think about that..."

"There's no need to get defensive Sydney...if I'm going to help him, he has to let his walls down...and you can't be there when they fall..."

Sydney sighed, angry, confused, and defeated, "Ok," she said quietly, having really no other choice. "Thank you, Dr. Barnett..."

"You're welcome Sydney, call me if you have any other questions."

Sydney hung up feeling more apprehensive than she had in a long time. She could only imagine what it was going to be like for him to have his walls crumble. She went back to the bedroom to watch him sleep, peaceful in stature. She wondered how many sleepless nights would be ahead of him after the walls came tumbling down.


	114. Cogitation

**Chapter 114: Cogitation**

_"Thinking is like loving and dying. Each of us must do it for himself." – Josiah Royce _

"No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head." – Terry Josephson

"Whatever the mind has the capacity to imagine, it also has the ability to create." – Anon.

"The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old one's out!" – Dee Hock

"Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when it is the only idea we have." – Emile Chartier

"To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing." – Eva Young

Sydney went back to the living room to do something, anything, to keep her mind off of what Barnett had told her, but she found that no matter what she tried, she couldn't concentrate.

Eventually, she gave up all together and went back to the bedroom. Vaughn was resting in an exhausted sleep; she doubted much would wake him at this point. Yet, she didn't want to chance it, so she sat in the chair next to the bed instead of sitting on the bed with him.

She stared at him for a long time, watching his chest rise and fall, his facial muscles twitching slightly. It was calming to watch him sleep like this, but that didn't stop the thoughts from coming.

'Should I tell him? He has every right to know...was that a good idea though? What would be better? To know that you were going to be left alone to be "broken" in therapy or to not know and then have it sprung on you minutes before it was supposed to go down. Neither scenario was inviting: if she told him, he'd have to deal with it until Friday. What would that do to him? Would he have nightmares? Would he stop sleeping? Eating? Would he be distant? Resentful of her because she was allowing it to happen? Would he get angrier? Would he lash out? Or would he take it in that eerily calm manner he got sometimes? The manner that scared her...would the fear consume him to the point of illness and pain? Would they have a similar night like the one that ended with his sedation? God, his mother was coming tomorrow...what was she supposed to do?'

'If she didn't tell him and just informed him that she wasn't going to be there right before the session, was that better? She could almost imagine the look on his face – fear, apprehension, disgust, pain, betrayal...would he hate her even more because she had known and hadn't told him? Could she live with not telling him? Could she really do that? Would he get angry then? Would he lash out when his mother was there? What would his mother think?'

'Which option would cause him the least distress? Would their relationship change if she failed to tell him? Their relationship was based on trust and honesty. How would he trust her again if she didn't tell him something this important? She couldn't NOT tell him; it would just be cruel – like making him endure torture all over again. No, she had to tell him, but when? Should she wait until Friday? Until his mother was there?'

She sighed, trying to stop the endless thoughts. His road had been difficult enough, and it was only just beginning. The torture was like the start of a mile-long race, and he'd only gone the first few meters. Many more lay ahead. "The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself," Sydney remembered that from a song once.

She understood that Barnett was right, he needed to let his walls down, and she understood that Barnett needed to use her to get him there, even though she hated that it had to be she that was being used. Would he forgive her for being party to this? For making his race veer off on a new and terrifying path?

He had talked to her in the beginning and after particularly bad nightmares, but even she had to admit he wasn't very forthcoming with information on what happened to him. She knew more than anyone else, but it still wasn't enough. He needed to get it out but the pain and the anger and the hurt were all going to be on the surface again and without the walls, he was going to be forced to deal with it. She hoped that dealing with it didn't break him completely.

He stirred in his sleep, bringing her out of her thoughts for a moment. She smiled at his form, looking at him with a look full of love and adoration. She couldn't explain to anyone all the ways she loved him. She loved his strength and resilience, his stubbornness and his ability to calm situations. Even if now it was slightly different because their roles were changed, she could always see sparks of all those things. He'd survived torture, torture beyond anything she'd ever experienced to date, torture that would kill 'normal' people in a matter of days. He'd survived it for close to a month. A whole month of torture that she knew little about. She admired him beyond what she ever thought possible. She never loved anyone so completely; she loved everything about the man. She smiled as she thought: easy on the eyes; great in bed; that sexy, dimpled smile; those jade fires as they bore into her very soul; his lithe, athletic body...she had to stop with all the physical attributes because she was getting warm, but there was plenty more to love. His heart, his soul, his ability to love her through all of her unsavory and stubborn moments, to fall in love with the daughter of the person who took his father from him. His sense of humor, his love of hockey, his loyalty to his job, his country, his friends, family, to her. His intelligence and ability to think on his feet (or off, she mused). His structure, yet his spontaneity, his cool under fire, his defiance and will, his vulnerability, his ability to follow the rules yet completely throw them out the window; usually when it came to her. His commitment, his sweetness, his ability to stand up to her and tell her off...God, she loved him...his love, his love...his love...

She hadn't realized, but she'd been crying silently for a few minutes. She wiped at the tears, falling faster when flashes of what had been done to him, what had happened since, passed through her mind. She hiccupped, trying to stop herself from falling apart. She couldn't stop the flow though. She looked over at him and his eyes burned into hers. She stopped when she saw him awake, a small gasp leaving her throat.

"Syd?" he asked.

She smiled, shaking her head, trying to tell him that she was ok but she couldn't make the words come out.

"Sydney..." he said confused. 'What the hell was going on? He'd been asleep only to wake to find Sydney bawling in the chair? This couldn't be good...what had happened in the time he'd been asleep?'

"Sydney," he said again, "What's wrong? What happened?" he asked softly.

She shook her head again waving her hand.

Vaughn didn't know what was wrong, but he couldn't let her sit there, "Sydney...come here," he said holding out his hand to her.

She moved quickly and took his hand, lying down with him and burrowing her head into his good shoulder and into his neck. She sobbed quietly and then more loudly, her body racked with soft heaves.

He didn't have the words to know what to say, plus he had no clue what was going on, and she couldn't tell him what was wrong at the moment. He settled for quiet "Shh's" and "it's ok's." He rubbed her back, trying to calm her. Eventually, the sobs and heaves lessened and he just held her tightly. He could feel her breath evening out against his neck. He looked down to find that she was sleeping. He tightened his grip and she burrowed further, holding onto him just as tightly.

He had no idea what had just happened, but he was happy that he could comfort her. It had been a while and he liked knowing that he could still provide that for her.

Eventually, he drifted off again as well and when he woke; he had no clue how long they'd slept. Sydney was still locked in his embrace but the bedroom door was closed and if he listened carefully, he could hear the TV murmuring softly. Will and Francie must have been home. He strained to look at the clock, careful not to wake Sydney. It was almost 6:00; they'd slept for a little over two hours.

Sydney stirred slowly, snuggling into him. He smiled, loving the feel of her doing that. She could incite so many emotions in him. She could make him crazy with want, so bad that it hurt sometimes. She could make him forget everything but her. She could calm him with a touch or a glance; yet completely infuriate him in the next second. She could be stubborn and difficult yet sweet and accepting, giving and caring, tough and tenacious. She could kick just about anyone's ass, his included, yet by her touch with him, you'd never know. She was guarded yet open, completely honest yet kind, beautiful and sexy as hell but adorable. And she chose him; it still amazed him. He smiled at the thought, but it faded when other thoughts began to creep in. What had happened? Why was she crying? Was Barnett right – maybe what she said was true. That though absolutely terrified him; he never wanted to hurt Sydney and if this whole thing was going to end up hurting her, he'd stop it now. He'd go back to the hospital if that would help her, if that was the way it had to be, he'd do it. He loved her too much to hurt her that way. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he caused her anguish. He'd known from soon after they met that he'd do anything for her; whatever it took, even death if she called or asked for it. Hell, even if she didn't. If Barnett was correct, and Sydney was concealing anger and frustration, if this was unhealthy for her...he had to know.

He felt Sydney waking and unconsciously tightened his grip. When she woke, he'd ask, and if the answer was what he feared most, it might be the last time he held her for a while. She nuzzled his neck and her hand moved from his chest to his stomach, rubbing in light circles. He pressed a kiss into her hair and she turned to look up at him.

Her eyes were slightly red-rimmed, but she was smiling at him.

He managed a smile back, but his fear was already rising, "You ok?" he asked softly.

She nodded, "You?"

"Mmmhmm..." he said as he stroked her hair. She was silent for a while, just watching him. He stopped the stroking and looked down at her seriously. He asked softly, "Am I hurting you?"

"What?" she asked in disbelief, but then she realized, "No Vaughn, that's not it."

"I want an answer and I want you to be honest Sydney. No trying to make me feel better. I want the truth Sydney because if I am, if any of this is hurting you, I'm going back."

Sydney looked at him, amazed at his candor. She could tell he was completely serious. She knew all too well how terrifying the hospital experience was, but he was willing to go back if it meant her safety and health. She almost started to cry again; she could see the love all over his face. And she loved him even more.

She moved up and took his face between both of her hands and kissed him fully. She kept her hands where they were and said in an equally determined tone, "Michael, I love you more than anything else. You're not going ANYWHERE. You've never hurt me yet and you're not going to either. Yes, I get angry, yes I get frustrated sometimes but I love you and I want you here. I want to take care of you. I don't know what else or how else to say it. When you woke up and I was crying, I was crying because I was thinking about how wonderful you are and how much I love you. I was crying because I was thinking about how hard this is for you, for YOU Michael. There is no way what I handle measures what you do. I love you," she said and then added more slowly, accentuating, "I. Love. You. Ok?"

He was at a loss for words. She was smiling broadly at his lack of speech and he finally said, "My God Sydney, I love you too."

She smiled, kissing him again numerous times until they both deepened the kiss, both sharing the same breath.

Sydney backed off slightly, "Thank you for holding me."

He smiled proudly, "You're welcome. It's nice to be needed. Usually, lately, it's been the other way around, it was nice for me too..."

"Vaughn, I need you so much it's not even funny."

"No shit, Syd," he said smiling.

Sydney smiled for a minute and then the smile left her face, "I need to talk to you about something else..."


	115. Concern and Care

**Chapter 115: Concern and Care**

_"If you cannot convince them, confuse them." – Harry Truman _

"Realize life as an end in itself. Functioning is all there is." Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

"I don't need a friend who changed when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better." – Plutarch

"What you are afraid to do is a clear indicator of the next thing you need to do." – Anon.

"The other thing – this is another reason why I was crying..."

Vaughn turned serious again too, "Of course," he said looking at her intensely, "Tell me."

"Don't get mad, but I...I called Barnett..."

"Sydney," Vaughn started but she cut him off.

"No. I was worried and I thought, I felt, that I needed to call – that I needed to know, ok? I had every right because I love you, ok?"

He smiled and nodded.

"Ok...so...everything was fine. She was ok with me calling and everything. Here's the thing...there's no easy was to say it, plus that's not our style, so I'll just say it, ok?"

"Sure," he said.

"Ok...the next session – on Friday, I can't be here..."

"What do you mean, you can't be here? Where will you be?"

"Barnett has requested a completely closed session. She's asked that I not be in the house."

"Why?" he asked.

"Something with the session...I'm not sure," she lied slightly, but he couldn't know that Barnett was going to 'break' him. "I thought it would be better, easier, if I told you. I didn't think it would have been fair to just drop it on you as she came in the door, you know what I mean?"

"No, it wouldn't have been...I...I don't understand," he said confused, his eyes pleading.

Her heart broke for him, "Vaughn, I'm sorry I don't know more...I just know that she's asked me to leave and I really have no choice. She's said it's best..."

"Why is that best? What is she going to do? I don't like this Sydney," he said honestly.

"I don't either, but neither of us really have a choice. I'm sorry honey...I know you'll be thinking about it now. It was killing me; deciding when or whether to tell you, but I figured the sooner the better plus I couldn't take not telling you. Do you understand? Are you mad at me?"

His confusion was still evident, as he grappled with figuring out why Barnett would make such a request, "No...I'm not mad at you...thank you for telling me..."

He slipped back into thought then 'Why would Barnett do that? She knows how much Sydney means. Was she trying to scare him? Trying to make him feel unsafe? Why would she want to make him feel that way? Was this all part of her elaborate game – more cross-talk?'

Sydney noticed his demeanor, "Vaughn?"

"Hmm, yeah?" he said looking back at her.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just thinking," he said, "Processing, you know..."

She smiled and kissed him, "Yeah, I know honey. We should really try though, not to over think it. I know it's futile and stupid to say this to you, but try not to let it bother you. You'll drive yourself completely insane by Friday."

"Yeah, I'm still gonna think about it though."

"I'm sorry baby...maybe it would have been better if I wouldn't have said anything...or waited longer..."

"NO, I'd rather know..."

"Well, we'll just have to find ways to keep you occupied."

He smiled, "Yeah ok."

Sydney glanced over at the bedroom door, "Hey – didn't I leave that door open?" she asked.

"It's almost 7:00 now, Will and Francie are home..."

"Oh...wow, we slept a long time...are you hungry?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"I'll see if I can find something quick."

"Ok," he said.

She kissed him and then moved off the bed.

She opened the door and walked out into the kitchen.

"Hey guys," she said to Will and Francie as she caught sight of them in the living room on the couch.

"Hey!" Will said.

"Hi Syd," Francie said, "You guys were really out..."

Sydney moved into the living room to talk.

Will smiled as she came in, "Yeah, I came in and I started saying hello really loudly," he chuckled, "I came into the bedroom and stopped mid sentence. You still didn't wake up – didn't move a muscle. Francie shut the door and started yelling at me, hissing, trying to be quiet as she wailed on me in the hall."

"I was NOT 'wailing' on you! I simply instructed that you were being an ass – as usual."

"Hey, I was just being friendly."

"Friendly is a nice, quiet hello, not bringing the bar with you!"

"Guys!" Sydney said.

They both turned to look at her.

"We didn't wake up – it's fine."

"See!" Will said, looking at Francie, who just rolled her eyes in response. He smiled, happy that he seemed to have won that round, "So...why were you guys so quiet – usually, I mean, well usually, you're not sleeping too...bad session today?" he asked concerned.

"Well, I mean, he doesn't tell me a lot, but there was some yelling and stuff today. And..." she looked at them wavering.

"What?" Francie asked.

Will nodded, "Yeah, what?"

"Well I should tell you guys too actually, I was concerned because Barnett lately...well...she keeps...confusing Vaughn."

"What do you mean confusing him?" Francie asked.

"I called her finally. She just has him second guessing, questioning things."

"Questioning what?" Francie asked.

"Me...us...this," she said motioning to herself, them and the house.

"What do you mean? Why?" Will asked.

"That's why I called her. But you can't tell Vaughn this next part, ok?"

They both nodded.

"She's been working on breaking down the walls he's put up and she's planning on breaking them down on Friday."

"Walls?" Will asked.

"Walls he's put up to protect himself...because of the torture. He won't talk about it. So she's using me, Vaughn and my relationship, and you guys..."

"Us?"

"Yeah."

"Why us? And why you?" Francie said angrily.

"Because she's trying to make him lose control."

"What does she say to him? Is it wise for him to lose control?" Francie was getting upset.

"Well – like I said, he doesn't tell me it all, but from the kinds of questions he's asking me...I can gather she's saying something about us not really wanting him here or me getting frustrated...stuff like that..."

"That's why you asked me if said something to him, when we were in the car..."

"Yeah..."

"Wow," was all Will said after a few minutes of thinking.

"Does Michael really think that we don't want him here?" Francie asked in disbelief.

Sydney smiled, "He's knows you do...he's just confused...she's got him very confused," she paused, "Look – I said I was getting stuff to eat, so I should get something before he starts to wonder why I've been gone so long." She got up and started to head back to the kitchen, but stopped, "You can't say anything to him...ANYTHING. He doesn't know..."

"Yeah," Will said.

Francie nodded and then said, "I'll make you guys something."

"No Fran, I can do that."

She smiled, but Sydney knew the look, "I'll make you guys something."

Francie got up and went to the kitchen, clanking a few pans.

Sydney looked over at Will who was already looking at her.

"You ok?" he asked.

She smiled, "Yeah, I'm ok..."

"You sure...you..." he trailed off not wanting to embarrass her.

She kept smiling, "Really Will, I'm ok."

He returned the smile this time, "Ok."

He looked away and then looked back at her, saying quietly, "So this is really gonna suck for Mike, huh?"

"Yeah," she said slowly.

He nodded, "I could take Friday off...if you need me..."

"That's sweet Will, but I don't know what you'd be able to do. I'm don't even know what I'm going to do."

Will nodded again.

Francie reemerged with two plates, "Here ya go – quick, easy, hamburger casserole. It's my dad's recipe," Francie said.

Sydney smiled, "I'll get drinks, you take it in. The one who prepares should get the credit."

"Ok," Francie said.

Sydney and Will went off to get the drinks and Francie walked into the bedroom with both plates in hand. She smiled at Vaughn who looked rather surprised that she had come in. She set one plate on the table and handed the other to Vaughn. He took it and set it on his lap and then accepted the fork that she handed him as well.

"Thank you," he said. "I thought Syd...I hope it wasn't too much trouble..." he said quietly, not looking at her.

"Michael," she said, waiting until he looked at her, "It was no trouble."

He smiled at her but Sydney and Will came in before he could say anything else.

"Hi sweetie," She said as she sat down next to him, accepting the plate that Francie took off of the table and handed to her.

Vaughn was quiet while they ate. Will and Francie made quiet conversation with Sydney, and they largely gave Vaughn space. Sydney kept glancing at him and he knew she was doing it, but he didn't feel like chatting.

Francie took his plate when he was finished. He looked up at her, "Thank you," he said.

She smiled warmly and sincerely, "You're welcome."

Sydney was starting to get worried by Vaughn's behavior. She kept trying to include him in the conversation, but he was just silent.

Will seemed to pick up on what was happening. He smiled at Sydney and then looked at Vaughn, "Did you like all the hockey Mike? Pretty cool that Eric found that set, huh?"

Vaughn turned to him. For a minute, Sydney thought maybe that topic would get him talking but his reply was a soft, "Yes."

They both waited but he didn't offer any other response.

Will didn't stop there though, "We stopped it when you fell asleep, so you didn't miss anything. Just so you know..."

Vaughn looked at him once more, "Thanks...and I'm sorry," he added.

Will looked confused, sharing a glace with Sydney, "For what?"

"Falling asleep – that you didn't get to finish it...and for using you as a pillow."

Will smiled broadly, "First of all, I was half asleep too, so it was good we stopped. And second, you can use me as a pillow any time you want. What I'm about to say I mean strictly in that manly, non-gay, friend way...but...you were very warm...it was...snuggly."

Sydney cracked a smile, "Snuggly?"

"I'm sensitive, ok?" Will said.

Vaughn managed a smile, "Thanks."

Francie entered the room again, "So...you're mom is coming over tomorrow, right Michael?"

He nodded.

"Well...I better clean up a bit...Will – you wanna help?"

"Sure...lord knows how much I love housework," the minute after it flew out of his mouth he winced. He'd meant it as a joke, but Vaughn might not take it that way.

He looked over at Sydney and she said, "I'm gonna get rid of these dishes, I'll be right back Vaughn..."

He nodded again and she got off the bed, following the other two out of the room.

She put the dishes in the sink and then moved into the living room where Francie and Will were standing. Will was covering his eyes, shaking his head.

"What?" Sydney asked.

"Did you just hear what I said?" Will asked, hitting his head with his palm.

"What?"

"I just said sarcastically that I didn't like housework. Now Vaughn's gonna think I don't want him here because it's like an inconvenience to do housework cause his mom's coming over...geez, I'm an idiot!" he said hitting himself again.

"Well, I've been saying that for years honey," Francie said, but she smiled and hugged him.

"Look guys...he's really quiet, and I think at this point, he's really starting to believe Barnett. He thinks that we don't want him here...but we can't watch every move we make and every thought we have. He'll realize eventually that's not the way we feel. Don't walk on eggshells – just say what you normally would. Normal is better for him. If we start to act careful around him, try not to say things that will upset him, it's just going to seem to him that Barnett it right."

"Yeah, you're right Syd," Francie said as Will nodded.

"I'm gonna go back in there..."

"Yeah, we'll clean up and then we'll be in to say goodnight..." Francie said.

"Ok, thanks guys," she said, giving each of them a warm hug.


	116. Doubts Abound

**Chapter 116: Doubts Abound**

_"The deplorable mania of doubt exhausts me. I doubt about everything, even my doubts." – Gustave Flaubert _

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt." – William Shakespeare

"Doubt comes in at the window when inquiry is denied at the door." – Benjamin Jowett

"Your words to me just a whisper / Your face is so unclear  
I try to pay attention / Your words just disappear.  
Oh, 'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Oh, Forget all the things I should have said.  
So I speak to you in riddles / 'Cause my words get in my way.  
I smoke the whole thing to my head / And feel it wash away.  
'Cause I can't take anymore of this / I wanna come apart,  
Or dig myself a little hole / Inside your precious heart.  
Oh, 'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Oh, Forget all the things I should have said.  
I am nothing more than a little boy inside  
That cries out for attention, yet I always try to hide.  
'Cause I talk to you like children, though I don't know how I feel  
But I know I'll do the right thing / If the right thing is revealed  
'Cause it's always raining in my head / Forget all the things I should have said." – "Epiphany" - Staind

Sydney walked back into the bedroom and Vaughn didn't look up. His brow was knitted in deep thought.

"Hey," she said as she sat down next to him.

"Hi," he said softly, his visage clearing momentarily as she snuggled up to him.

"Are you thinking about what I think you are?"

"Of course," he said in an equally soft tone.

"Is that why you were so quiet at dinner?"

"Mmmhmm...yeah...I guess so..."

"Is there more?" she asked.

"Just thinking about a lot of stuff. I know what you tell me Sydney...but...why would you tell me any different? Why would anyone?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are you going to say to me? That yes, you hate the fact that I'm here? Will and Francie are too nice to say something like that, no matter how frustrated they might feel."

"Vaughn, if you're not going to believe it when I or they say it, then there isn't a whole lot I can do..."

"I know..."

"Why don't we talk about something else?"

He snorted, "What else should we talk about?"

"Well...we should figure out what we're going to do with your mother when she gets here."

"I can't do anything," he stated simply, "Maybe you two should go do something..."

"What and leave you here?"

"Yeah..."

"Alone?"

"I can be alone..."

"It's not that I don't think you can...I just...what if you needed something? What if you were in pain?"

He sighed, "I don't know Sydney, can we just talk about it later? I'm tired..."

She moved up to look at him. He did look tired, but she wondered if he was just evading things he didn't want to discuss with her.

"Yeah, ok...Tom will be here in the morning too...to check on the wound...let's look at it before you go to bed, ok?"

"Yeah, ok," he said resignedly.

She got up and got the washcloth, checked the wound, applied more Cavilon and then the TAD bandage. She changed his clothes and then positioned him on the bed so the wound wouldn't be compressed.

"Ok...I'm gonna go help Will and Francie clean up. You be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Ok," she said kissing him, "Good night, I love you..."

"Love you too Syd, night."

She turned out the lights and closed the door on her way out.

She stood in the hall for a minute, trying to decide if she'd made the right decision by telling him that she wouldn't be there for the session. She just didn't know. He seemed so distant and guarded now, like everyone was out to get him, or at least frustrated with him. She sighed and plopped down on the couch.

Will looked over at her from the bookcase where he was dusting.

"You ok?"

"Yeah...he's just weird now that I told him..."

"Told him about Friday?"

"Yeah...I mean...he's just...cold...I just don't know if I made the right choice."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I would want to know if I were Mike...I wouldn't like it being dumped on me one second and then you leaving the next. I mean, it sucks any way, but...I think this one was the better choice."

"Thanks Will," she said appreciatively.

"Anytime," he said as he went back to dusting.

Sydney pulled herself off of the couch a few minutes later and helped pick up the house. They had it looking presentable in no time and then she excused herself to go to bed. She took a shower and then brushed her teeth and went back into the bedroom.

Vaughn was sleeping already, so she just snuck under the covers and snuggled up to him. He gripped her instinctively in his sleep and she nestled herself for the night.

She lay awake for a while, just thinking about the next few days and what they might bring, hoping that Vaughn would be ok. She'd be here no matter what, despite the thoughts and doubts that ran through his head, but she was still afraid for him, for her...for all of them.

She drifted off restlessly, not knowing that Vaughn wasn't sleeping.

He smiled as she tried to find a comfortable spot, her body pressed warmly against his. He could smell the fresh shampoo on her hair and the wafting smell of the soap she used. He'd heard the shower, but he hadn't known which of them was taking one.

If only everything were as simple as this. It wasn't like their life before all of this happened wasn't stressful or difficult, but now, it was just all compounded. He longed for the nights when they would just come home from work, exhausted, but leaving it largely behind them, or locked safely away in the inner recesses of their minds. They'd have dinner, catch a movie or go to a King's game, make love and fall peacefully to sleep (not necessarily in that order or not necessarily all of those in one night). He smiled when he remembered all the times they'd planned on going out to dinner and just wound up spending the night in Sydney's bed, or on the couch, or in the shower, or all three. But that was so much simpler, and then they'd get up and do it all over again. Now, it was harder, they couldn't do those things the same way anymore, and if it bugged him, it had to bug her. Or at least, that's what he was thinking currently. She kept telling him it wasn't so...but she was right...if he couldn't accept it when she told him, then there was nothing left to say. He either had to accept it and push the thoughts away or he could not accept it and make everyone's lives that much more difficult. He sighed, holding her tighter, thoughts still running wild.

His mother was coming tomorrow, he'd have to get out of this mood he was in now before she came or she'd know something was up. Oh hell, who was he kidding, she'd know anyway – that was her job, but it would be more pleasant if he could just be happier...

He hated the thought of being alone with Barnett. Even if Sydney wasn't in the room, she was in the house before and that gave him reassurance. He could call her at any time, but now, he'd be truly all along with Barnett, no Sydney, no safety net in the next room. He just didn't know what to make of the whole Barnett thing, but as Sydney had also said, if he thought about it too much, he'd be nuts by Friday. Maybe his mother's visit would take his mind off of it, or maybe Tom would. Sydney was quite capable in that area too...and she had hinted...maybe they'd have to take up some time with that too.

'OK. QUIET NOW BRAIN,' he said to himself as he closed his eyes. At least the thoughts could wait until morning...


	117. The Fine Art of Deception

**Chapter 117: The Fine Art of Deception**

_"The great essentials in life as something to do, something to love, something to hope for." – Thomas Chalmers _

"Amid my list of blessings infinite,  
Stands this the foremost,  
'That my heart has bled.'" – Edward Young

"You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time." – Abraham Lincoln

"Lying is done with words and also with silence." – Adrienne Rich

"Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true." – Demosthenes

Vaughn had tossed and turned, well, not really, but he was silently restless for most of the night. He tried to be as still as he could so he wouldn't wake Sydney, but he knew she'd woken a few times with his fidgeting. He'd gotten more sleep than the previous night, but not a lot more.  
He just couldn't make his mind stop racing, couldn't make the doubts go away, no matter how hard he tried or how many times Sydney's endless pleas ran through with them.

Sydney yawned as she woke, gently easing off of him, trying not to wake him.

She gasped slightly when she saw him smiling at her, "Jesus Vaughn! I didn't think you'd be awake..."

"Sorry," he said quietly.

"Didn't you sleep again?" she asked worriedly.

"Off and on...better than last night..."

"Thinking too much?"

"I guess..."

"I shouldn't have told you," she said scolding herself.

"No, Sydney, I'd rather know...Barnett's just got me all messed up...ok?"

"Yeah," she said, knowing full well that it was probably only going to get worse.

"I'm gonna try not to think about it today..."

"Good honey, you'd be a lot less tense..." she said.

He smiled, "Yeah...speaking of tense...when is my mom getting here? Did she say?"

"Mmm...not really, but she wouldn't ever be this early...would you like to release some tension?" she asked innocently.

"I would..." he said in a very factual manner.

"Should I help or do you want to take care of that yourself?"

"You're a tease..."

"Perhaps," she said kissing him as she moved her body over his.

She undressed them quickly, throwing clothes haphazardly around the bed and room, wherever they happened to land. Once free of the binds of clothing she attacked his mouth, sucking his tongue into her waiting mouth and wrestling for several drawn out minutes. His eyes were a darker shade of jade when they parted, both breathless. She bent down again in earnest, and he thought she was going to start another round of ravenous kissing, but instead she traced the inside of his mouth with her tongue before pulling his bottom lip into her mouth and sucking on it.

He didn't know why, but it drove him nuts when she did that. Something with the sensation and the idea made his cock leap in anticipation. She smiled at him when she felt his erection rising and she wasted no time getting him where she wanted and needed him most. He sank into her delicious heat in one slow movement, watching Sydney's head fall back as she felt the sensation of him sliding deep inside her walls.

She let out a soft squeaking noise when she felt him nudge her cervix upward. She moaned as she felt the ache spread across her abdomen, feeling him so hot and hard and full inside her.

Vaughn tried to keep control as he felt Sydney contract around him. He wondered sometimes how he managed to wait to come when all he wanted to do was climax the moment he entered her. She made him feel like a teenager having sex for the first time every time they made love. Not that teenagers would EVER know how to do the things that Sydney did, but still...the sentiment...the feelings she made rise in him – it was like a new experience every time, no matter how many times they did the same thing.

He was lost in thought for a few moments, recalling his conversation with Barnett and his frustration over not being able to more actively participate in their lovemaking, but maybe he really was over-thinking it. He was still going to be frustrated that he couldn't do everything he wanted, but sex with Sydney was always great...and by the look on her face at the moment, there was no question as to if she was enjoying herself.

She looked down him, seeing the familiar visage of thought plastered on his face.

"Hey," she said touching his cheek.

He looked up at her, "I was just thinking about how wonderful you are..."

"Aww...honey," she said, leaning down to kiss him gently, "Now I'm gonna make you feel even better..." she said with a raised eyebrow.

He smiled widely, "Why have I never used that line in bed before?"

She laughed as she started to move on him, swiveling her hips from side to side. She then alternated and moved to circles before starting an erratic movement of thrusts that confused the hell out of him.

"Syd..." he said as she moved in another, different direction.

He couldn't keep up with all the different ways she was moving on him. One minute his cock was firmly imbedded deep inside her, the next it was barely touching her lips at all, then in yet another minute, he would be halfway in, before she contracted her muscles and pulled him inside fully. The way she was moving, shallow, deep, medium and everything in between, was so random that he had no way to anticipate her movements. He thrust upward to get himself inside her more and she pulled back, making for delicious friction. A long moan escaped his lips as he thrust again, and this time her random movement sent him surging inside her, past her cervix. A straggled moan emanated from him as she stopped her movements and held him tightly inside her.

"Oh God Sydney..." he breathed in between labored breaths, "If you don't let go...I'm gonna come..." he warned.

She smiled, "Why do you think I've been doing that?" she said seductively, inching him in that fraction deeper.

"Unnn..." he said, unable to formulate any more words as he felt her start to milk him with her muscles, contracting and releasing him deliberately and firmly.

He could feel the pressure begin to rise as his balls moved closer to his body, drawing up in anticipation of final release.

He lurched his hips forward, while Sydney clenched powerfully, creating one of the most intense sensations he'd ever experienced. The combination of his thrust and her clamping produced a unique feeling, friction beyond his wildest dreams as her muscles almost resisted his plunge. Of course, that's what she was going for anyway. She smiled as her orgasm hit her forcefully, a combination of all the buildup and the knowledge that he was coming almost painfully.

He came hard, head thrown back as his hot liquid made its way from him to her, spilling inside her in long bursts. His body was racked with tremors, making her climax drawn out as he continued to thrust gently as his body tried to regain some control.

He stopped moving inside her after a few moments, his chest heaving with the force of his climax.

"s..." he said as he looked up at her.

She smiled and leaned down to kiss him, sharing an intense bout of kissing much like they had started the session. She truly couldn't get enough of this man, and he shared the feeling amicably.

They came down slowly, breathing heavily together as their foreheads rested against each other.

They shared gentle smiles and kisses and caresses as they came back down to earth from that blissful precipice that they would have liked to have shared forever.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi..." she said in a playful tone.

They spent several more minutes just smiling and acting like giddy teenagers again.

Sydney finally asked while laughing, "Do you want breakfast?"

"Sure," he said tickling her sides.

She giggled and moved off of him, grabbed her robe, and headed to the kitchen.

She brought in breakfast and they ate at a leisurely pace, giggling and playing all through the meal. Their playful mood continued through the breathing and bandage changing, even though that was usually not a happy or playful time, they seemed to make is so this morning. Exercises weren't a complete success because the two couldn't seem to stop giggling.

"Vaughn," Sydney said, trying to be serious but failing miserably, "We have to get through this stuff. Look, it's almost 10:30," Sydney said motioning to the clock.

Vaughn just giggled, but they wound up finishing the exercises anyway.

Sydney just got Vaughn dressed for the day and settled when the doorbell rang. She looked at the clock; it was only 10:45.

She looked at Vaughn, "Tom's a little early," she said.

She went to the door and opened it, but Tom wasn't on the other end of the door.


	118. Maternal Instincts

Thank you froggygirl for the wonderful reviews!

**Chapter 118: Maternal Instincts **

_"Children are the sum of what mothers contribute to their lives." – Unknown _

"A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother's love." – Thomas C. Haliburton

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." – Agatha Christie

"A mother understands what a child does not say." – Jewish Proverb

"Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and deeper it sinks into the mind." – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"There are three things in speech that ought to be considered before some things are spoken--the manner, the place and the time." – Southey

"Amélie!" Sydney said, embracing the woman in a hug, "We didn't think you were coming until later today – in the afternoon sometime..." Sydney silently thanked herself for finishing their playful escapade before his mother decided to drop in early.

"Well, I got an early start, so I thought, why wait?" Amélie said cheerfully. Then her tone lowered, "Plus, I've been worried about Michael, so...I wanted to see him..."

"Yeah, he's been having a tough time...I need to talk to you about that too...remind me later, ok?"

"Of course, is...is there something wrong?"

"Well...no...it's just not going to get any easier the next few days..."

"You have me worried even more now Sydney..."

"Let's just go in there, you can see him and we'll talk while making lunch or something – OH! Crap – Tom's coming over too...he'll be here any minute."

"Oh, yes, I remember you mentioning that...a check-up...or..."

"Yeah, check-up...but Vaughn has that infected wound...and Tom's coming over to look at that too...decide what we should do about it..."

"Of course...is it a bad infection?"

"Yeah...well...I mean it's not good...but we don't think it's systemic..."

"That's a relief..."

"Yeah, but I think Tom's still going to give him an antibiotic...just because it's not healing fast enough..."

"Well perhaps that's best."

"Yeah, I think so...come on," Sydney said motioning for Amélie to follow her, "Let me take your coat," Sydney said, taking it from her and hanging it in the closet.

Vaughn was rather surprised, but pleasantly to see his mother instead of Tom, "MOM!" he said happily, "You're early..." he looked over at Sydney and shared a "whew" glance before his mother came over and gave him a generous hug and a kiss on the head. Sydney went out for a few moments, letting mother and son talk.

"Bonjour Michel..." she said, her hand lingering on his cheek, "Je me suis inquiétée pour toi." (I've been worried about you).

He smiled at her as she backed up and sat in the chair next to bed.

"How have you been?" she asked, slipping back into English.

He knew that had to be a bad sign, "Uh...ok...well...since the last time you were here, I guess not so 'ok,' but it's been getting better..."

"Yeah...and how is the therapy?" Amélie asked carefully.

Vaughn's eyes narrowed for a moment, but then they changed back to normal, "Uh...it's fine..."

"Fine?" she prodded.

"It's not a picnic, but..."

"Is it helping?"

"I don't know..." Vaughn replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Michael," she said, "What's wrong?"

He sighed, he wasn't sure who was worse – his mother or Sydney, they both knew him too well, "Nothing mom..."

"Don't lie to me Michael..."

"There's a lot mom..."

She looked at him for a moment, "Do you remember when I would spout random lines of poetry and prose to you as a child?"

He smiled, "Yes of course."

"Ok...well here is another one. Since you won't tell me, I'll have to guess, but you tell me if I'm on target. William Osler once said, Something like that 'Banish the future; live only for the hour and its allotted work. Think not of the amount to be accomplished, the difficulties to be overcome, but set earnestly at the little task at your elbow, letting that be sufficient for the day; for surely our plain duty is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.' Michael?" she asked looking at him.

He smiled, "Something like that, yeah mom. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she said, looking at him like only a mother could.

"You have a rather...observant point of view of this house, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like you can look at things objectively..."

"Yes, I believe so..."

"Does Sydney seem angry to you? Or frustrated?"

"No, not at all...why do you ask?"

"Just wondering..."

"Why would you wonder that? Does she say something?"

"No...I just...I just think too much, ok? Just too much on my mind..."

"One at a time Michael," she said smiling softly.

He returned the smile.

"It's just so confusing..." he said after a long pause..."

"What is Michael?"

"The therapy – I mean...Sydney tells me one thing and Barnett says another...and I don't know which one to believe...and some of the stuff that Barnett says – it's true I think...despite what Sydney tells me...because she loves me..."

"And she's not as objective as Dr. Barnett?"

"Right..."

"Well...then I'd probably be biased too Michael..."

"But you're not here like 24/7 like she is..."

"No, but I have a vested interest in your well-being..."

"Well yeah, but..."

"I'm honest Michael...and I don't ever notice any frustration or anger – maybe worry, but not anger or frustration."

"What about Will and Francie?"

"No Michael, they've never exhibited any signs of it either..."

Vaughn shook his head, suddenly realizing that he was going to try to stop the thoughts for at least the duration of his mother's stay. He smiled suddenly, changing the subject completely, "How's the garden? And why don't I have a painting of it here since I can't see it at the moment?"

"Michael..." Amélie warned, knowing full well that his thoughts on the matter and the questions he'd just asked were far from gone.

"No, mom, really...I don't want to talk about it anymore...I can't...not now..."

Amélie gave him a stern mother look, but like Sydney, she couldn't force him to talk either.

There was a short silence; son and mother's eyes dueling in the same kind of fire before Vaughn finally asked again, "How is your garden?"

Amélie waited a moment, but then answered, "It's good Michael...the wisteria is beyond belief – it's pretty much out of control..."

Vaughn smiled, nodding for her to continue.

"I added a new small plot to the north corner and planted some daylilies – it adds some nice contrast to the California poppies I had over there last year – it was a little much all that orange at the end of the plot – so I extended it."

"Good plan..." Vaughn remarked, seeming genuinely interested, "Did you landscape that part by the tree yet?"

"Yes I did," Amélie said smiling.

"I'm sorry..."

"Why?" she asked.

"I was supposed to help you with that..."

"Michael, I'm perfectly capable of landscaping myself – and you're injured...besides, there's always the plot next to the shed..."

He smiled, "When are you going to do that one?"

"Whenever you're better..."

"So you're going to wait for that one?"

"Yes I am..." Amélie said with a smile.

Vaughn smiled back, "How are the rest of the wildflowers? You had problems with weeds last year, right?"

"Oh the weeds were terrible. Every time I pulled one, another sprouted, I swear, in the same place I had just pulled it from...they haven't been as bad this year...and the wildflowers are just beautiful..."

"Tell me..." he said smiling like a little boy.

"Michael, you'd love it in the morning – it's just a breathtaking scene...all the different colors and smells...truly a natural art form.

"Have you painted any of them?"

She smiled, "Of course..."

"Well then, tell me now, and the next time you come, you can bring the paintings and I can see them..."

"I should have brought them with me today, but I didn't know we'd be talking flowers today Michael."

"No, it's ok...I just...I'd like to see it..."

She smiled again, "Should I continue?"

"Yes," he said enthusiastically.

Amélie smiled at him yet again; sometimes the things he said or the looks he gave her were just like it had been when he was a child. She mused momentarily when thinking how much his maturity level had changed over the years. Now, he was asking about the flowers, about her gardens, her paintings. It wasn't all that long ago when she had to chase him out of the garden after he'd trampled some of the flowers or the one time he took every sunflower in the garden to try to get the seeds out.

She pulled herself out of her thoughts to continue to tell him, "I think I have everything this year – it's quite amazing...it's like a veritable carpet of color, a rainbow of soft buds and plants...with the occasional oddity that makes it a centerpiece. Goldfields, coreopsis, lupines, bluebells and baby blue-eyes, evening primroses, lilies, suncups, blanketflower, catchflys, cactus flower, chollas, Spanish needles, Orcutt's aster, phacelia, thistle sage, popcorn flower, and I have got some desert candles this year. It's quite a site...really..."

"It sounds beautiful mom, and I'm sure you've captured it beautifully," he said with a proud smile.

"Oh, you have to say that...but you haven't seen the painting yet..."

"I'm sure it's great mom..."

Sydney entered the room then, cutting Vaughn and Amélie's talk, but only had her foot in the room for a few seconds before the doorbell rang again. She smiled apologetically at Amélie and Vaughn, "Probably Tom," she said as she turned around and walked back to the front door.


	119. Doctors Orders

**Chapter 119: Doctors Orders**

_"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." – Erma Bombeck _

"The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease." – Voltaire

"To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine." – Henry Ward Beecher

"Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity." – Hippocrates

"A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more." – Unknown

"It's the friends you can call up at 4am that matter." – Marlene Dietrick

Sydney opened the door to a smiling Tom.

"Hey Syd!" he said enthusiastically, "how ya doin?"

"I'm ok Tom, come on in..." she said smiling and moving out of his way.

"Ok? What is that?"

"Just...lots going on..."

Tom turned serious, "Like what?"

"Just therapy and stuff...maybe I can talk to you about it a little later..."

"Ok..." he said, waiting for more, but Sydney didn't offer it.

"Yeah, and Vaughn's mom is here...so...I really didn't think she'd come over until later, but here she is..."

"Is that a problem?"

"Well, I mean she's seen his wounds, some of them, but she's never seen THIS wound...if you get my drift."

"Yeah, ok...well maybe you want to take her out of the room or something..."

"Well, ideally, yes, but I'd really like to stay with him...know what's going on..."

"Yeah, well she'll have to either stay then or decide."

Sydney nodded and started off to the bedroom. Tom followed.

"HEY!" Tom said as he entered the room, and went straight over to Vaughn to give him a strong handshake and a soft hug, "How ya doin?" he asked with a smile.

"Hey Tom, I'm ok...this is my mom Tom," he said gesturing to Amélie.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Tom Barker," Tom said as he extended a hand out to Amélie.

"I'm Amélie Vaughn...thank for you taking such good care of my son."

"Eh, well someone's got to...I'm the only one who'd take him..." Tom said with a wink.

He turned to Vaughn, "Why don't we get started, then we can talk for awhile ok?"

"Sure," Vaughn said.

"Ok, I'm just gonna check you over, then we'll look at the infected wound..."

"Gotcha..."

Tom busied himself then making Vaughn follow his flashlight and checking a few of the cuts on his face that had largely healed. The few stitches he'd had by his eye were almost fully disintegrated, "That looks good so far," he said smiling, "Let's check your shoulder." He helped Vaughn get out of the sling and then spent a few minutes rotating and manipulating the muscles in the shoulder. Vaughn winced several times, but the shoulder hadn't moved a whole lot in weeks, and it still had a ways to go. Tom assured him, however, that it was also healing nicely.

"I'm gonna check your ribs now," Tom said as he made a move take off Vaughn's shirt. Vaughn nodded and let him remove it as well as the wrap.

Amélie made a small clicking noise and shook her head when she saw all of the bandages again, but no one really made any comments.

Tom pressed gently on Vaughn's ribs, concentrating while examining them to see how they were healing. Vaughn winced again at a few spots, but Tom was very observant and he visually logged the spots for further reference. He finished and then got his stethoscope out and took off the oxygen, "Ok...deep breaths..."

Vaughn nodded and complied, taking a few deep breaths.

Tom smiled after a few breaths, "Much better than last time..."

Vaughn smiled.

"Must be doing what I told you too, huh?" Tom asked.

"Yeah, Sydney's a slave driver...makes me do it every day."

"I liked her from the start," Tom said looking over at her. Then he turned back to Vaughn, "How're your exercises going?"

"Sydney makes me do those too...and they go pretty well..."

Tom looked over to Sydney, "That true?"

Sydney smiled, "Yes it is...he's been doing great actually – he does more than he's supposed to – the crunches anyway...and we stand and everything, and..." she paused, beaming, "We've managed to walk a few places by ourselves too...not long distances, but he does great..."

Vaughn was smiling broadly and it got even bigger when Amélie said, "That's my boy..."

Tom replaced the oxygen and then looked down at Vaughn, "K, can you sit up for awhile...while I check it?"

Vaughn nodded and looked over at Sydney and then to his mother, and then back to Sydney again.

She got the hint, "Amélie, why don't you go have a seat in the living room and rest for awhile...I'll get you some coffee..."

Amélie Vaughn was not a stupid lady however, and she smiled saying, "Sydney...I know you and Michael want to protect me...but Michael is my son...and I want to be privy to what is going on with him – especially if it's a health concern."

Sydney looked helplessly at Vaughn, but he couldn't say anything to counter that.

Tom took over then and said, "Mrs. Vaughn..."

"Please, call me Amélie."

Tom smiled, "Amélie, I understand your want and need to know what's up with Michael...but...this wound...it's bad enough without an infection, and I don't know how much you know about infected wounds, but this one is a doozy...it's not so much about protecting you...just...sparing you from a sight that is not essential for you to know what's going on with Michael."

Amélie smiled, "You're a very good doctor Tom, and that's nice of you to say...you have a wonderful bedside manner, but...I'm staying."

Tom smiled and looked back at Vaughn, "Now I know where you get your stubbornness from."

Vaughn smiled but he shared a worried glance with Sydney. He admired his mother's tenaciousness but would have rather spared her the added burden of an infected wound.

Tom looked at Sydney, "Can you get a washcloth?"

"Sure," she said, disappearing and reappearing with the requested item. She moved over to the bed to help Vaughn sit and handed Tom the washcloth.

"While I'm looking at this one...I should check the others too..." Tom informed them.

Vaughn just nodded as Sydney supported his form.

She had a sudden thought, "Tom – did I tell you that Vaughn sat up for a whole meal? At the table and everything..."

Tom stopped and moved to the front of Vaughn for a minute, "Really?"

Vaughn smiled and nodded.

"That's great Mike...really great...I mean it..."

Vaughn smiled wider and looked over at his mother as Tom moved in back of Vaughn again; she was beaming at him, clearly proud of her son.

Tom started to peel the bandage off, and Amélie moved closer. Vaughn winced when the bandage came off. Amélie looked down at the wound as Tom examined it.

"Oh my God Michael..." Amélie said gasping, covering her mouth with her hand. She found her way to the chair and sat down, shaking her head.

Vaughn looked over at her, "Mom? You ok?" he asked worriedly.

She waved her hand, trying not to cry, but it just made Vaughn tenser.

Both Sydney and Tom noticed his muscles tensing, and Sydney ran her hand through his hair a few times, trying to get him to relax. The tenser he was, the more this was going to hurt.

"I'm sorry Mike...I have to...I have to check to see how far the infection has spread – it's not gonna feel too good, ok?"

Vaughn grabbed Sydney's other hand and nodded.

Sydney held his hand tightly, "I'm right here," she said as she kissed his slightly stubbled cheek.

He smiled faintly before Tom pressed on the edge of the wound and then his eyes closed tightly and his grip on Sydney's hand became tighter. Tom continued to prod around the edges of the wound, which were red and obviously infected, but he needed to know the extent.

He examined the wound itself. It looked slightly better, but there was still evidence of pus on the bandage he had removed. At least it seemed to have stopped bleeding. There was a slightly scabrous layer of pus that Tom could detect as well, a few areas still moist and oozing. He pressed a gloved finger directly over the middle of the wound and Vaughn jerked away, letting out a small grunt.

"Sorry Mike...just bear with me..." he said apologetically as he prodded around the inside of the wound for a few more minutes.

Amélie looked as though she was ready to bolt or vomit, but no one could tell which. She also seemed to be glued to the chair. Sydney risked a glance over to see how she was handling it, and would have liked to ask her how she was, but Vaughn needed her at the moment. Amélie looked horrified but compelled to watch.

Tom moved from the inside of the wound back out to the edges and then slowly made his way outward, seeing how far the infection had spread.

Once he had made his observations, he put some of the Cavilon on the wound and then re-bandaged it with a TAD. He gave Sydney a sympathetic smile and an imploring look as he started to remove the other bandages to check them as well.

"I'm sorry Mike," Tom said softly, "Just a few more minutes...hang in there..."

Sydney soothed him with soft caresses and touches, trying to make it easier for him, but knowing that nothing she did was really going to help.

Tom removed all the bandages at once, and checked each one, examining and inspecting them all for infection and tape irritation. He didn't find any others on his back that were infected, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief, knowing that if the infection had spread and become systemic that he would have to go back to the hospital and the didn't want to do that to him.

He re-bandaged all of those as well and then placed a gentle hand on Vaughn's shoulder.

His eyes weren't squeezed shut any more, but Tom could see that he was still in a fair amount of discomfort, and Sydney was supporting more of his frame than she had started out with.

"You ok?" Tom asked gently.

Vaughn nodded, but he looked completely worn out already.

Tom shared a glance with Sydney and decided that they should just continue and get it over with.  
He asked Vaughn first though, "Hey, you wanna take a break Mike? Or should we finish the front?"

"Just finish," he said in a pain-laden voice.

He shared one more look with Sydney for reassurance and she nodded, moving to support Vaughn from behind and helped him lean back so that Tom had easier access. Vaughn leaned heavily into her, and Sydney risked a glance at Amélie, and she seemed much as she had before – her gaze was transfixed on the scene as though she couldn't look away, but she looked less pale, more composed.

Tom continued on, removing the bandages on the front of Vaughn's torso and inspected each in turn like he had the ones on Vaughn's back. He frowned slightly at the tape irritation on one of the wounds, but it wasn't infected as he found upon closer inspection. He put some Cavilon on the edges of that one and then bandaged it again, and bandaged the rest as well. Then he and Sydney worked together to get the rib wrap back on him and Sydney grabbed a fresh shirt as Tom held him up. Sydney put it over his shoulders and Tom buttoned it up before replacing the sling. Tom positioned the pillows and then eased Vaughn back onto them.

Sydney took her spot next to him on the bed.

"Ok," Tom started, "Let me just say – you're doing great. I mean with all the exercises and the breathing...truly phenomenal. Your shoulder is healing nicely – it'll be a little while yet but it's progressing and since you're walking, I can gather your ankle is much better too...Your lungs are stronger, but they're gonna take a long time to fully heal – you'll start noticing differences though when they happen. The ribs are better too, but again, they're gonna take a while. Your reflexes are all good, no lasting damage...to the brain that is...except what was already there," Tom said smiling. "Now – the wounds – most of them seem to be healing well – some better than others – obviously the smaller ones are doing better – and the ones on your face are really good. The bruising is starting to lessen as well...the larger wounds and the surgical incisions are, again, obviously going to take a longer time." He stopped a took a breath, "Ok...now the infected one..."


	120. The Verdict

**Chapter 120: The Verdict**

_"Much wisdom remains to be learned, and if it is only to be learned in adversity, we must endeavor to endure adversity with what fortitude we command." – from the book Apples of Gold _

"Scientists know only what love does. Love, properly applied, could virtually empty our asylums, our prisons, our hospitals. Love is the touchstone of psychiatric treatment. Love can be fostered, extended, used to subjugate hate and thus cure diseases." – from the book Apples of Gold

"Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent job." – from the book Apples of Gold

"The door to the human heart can be opened only from the inside." – from the book Apples of Gold

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength." – from the book Apples of Gold

Sydney and Vaughn looked intently at Tom and it seemed as though Amélie finally came out of her stupor as well. They all waited for Tom to start talking.

"Ok...I know it sucked having me do that, but I had to see how the infection spread – how far and stuff...and the good news is that I still don't believe it's systemic. The bad news is that it's still infected...and that can turn systemic if not treated. Luckily, Sydney's been keeping a close watch on it...and it's obvious that it hasn't been compressed much – so those are all good things. So, here's what we're gonna do – I pretty much knew that it was going to be infected yet, so I prepared...and," he fished in the bag he brought and took out a pill bottle, "YAY! A new pill to take!" he smiled widely.

Vaughn's response was something between a laugh and a moan, and Sydney kissed his head as she smiled at Tom, "Just one more honey..." she said softly.

Tom smiled in understanding at Vaughn, "Mike...I know...but it'll make the infection go away – and then your back will feel much better...and it's only for two weeks..."

He handed Sydney the pill bottle, "He has to take it three times a day – should take them at roughly the same time each day, with milk or something...ok?"

"Yeah," Sydney said, reading the pill bottle, with Michael Vaughn written on it. She smiled when she saw the address written on it was her own. She moved the bottle down to Vaughn's line of view.

"What?" he asked in a tired voice, "Amoxicillin, 550mg, take 3 pills per day, at–"

"No Vaughn," she interrupted, pointing to the part she wanted him to notice.

He smiled when he realized they had used Sydney's address as his own.

Tom was slightly lost, but he didn't want to interrupt their moment. He waited for a few more seconds and then said, "Well, I think we're done...I'm gonna go and let you get some rest now Mike...ok? Sydney you're doing a great job..."

Sydney looked at the clock, "Tom, it's lunchtime, why don't you stay for lunch?"

"Oh...yeah, I could...if you want me here...after all the pain I just caused you, you might want to rethink that..." he said looking at Vaughn.

"It's part of your job Tom, you can be both my doctor and my friend – I can separate the two..." he stopped and then added, "Can you?"

Tom looked at him strangely, "Yeah...I can..."

"Good, then we don't have a problem..."

Tom managed a smile, but looked at Sydney with a questioning look.

Vaughn finally remembered that his mother was there, "Mom, you ok?"

Amélie looked over at her son, "Michael...I..." she stopped as tears started to fall, "Michael, how could anyone put you through this, you're my little boy!"

It seemed none of the occupants of the room knew what to say or do. Vaughn shared a worried glance with Sydney as well as Tom and then said softly, "Mom...that's why we thought maybe it would have been better if you weren't in the room...I mean...it's rather...disgusting..."

"No, Michael, I...think I needed to see it...it just...I mean it hurts me just to look at it...I know how much it must hurt you..."

Sydney looked at Vaughn and then said, "Amélie, why don't you and I get some coffee..."

Amélie nodded, got up and came over to the bed, "Michael...I love you so much...I'm so sorry...all of this pain...I just...oh Michael," she said as she looked at the face of her son. She leaned down and embraced him, enveloping him in a motherly hug and kissed the top of his head before she moved back and shook her head slowly. As she and Sydney walked out, Vaughn could hear her saying, "I just...can't imagine...don't understand why anyone..." He sighed as he looked at Tom, who smiled at him softly.

Sydney had Amélie sat down by the counter as she turned to make some coffee.

"Sydney...how to do you do it?" Amélie asked softly.

"Do what?" Sydney asked confused.

"See it everyday...watch him in pain every day...I can't even do it for a few minutes, it just tears me apart."

"Well...you just said it – I see him every day...I mean it doesn't get any easier to see him in pain, but you sort of get used to it...so does he...he handles a lot of pain on his own...and he never complains," Sydney said smiling.

"I'm so proud of him...he's been such a wonderful son, always made me so proud, but surviving this...I couldn't be prouder..."

"He's a wonderful man, you did a great job."

"You had something to do with his greatness too..."

Sydney smiled and handed Amélie a cup of coffee. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, until Sydney heard a few sniffles. She turned to see Amélie crying.

"Amélie?" Sydney said softly, "Are you ok?"

Amélie tried to compose herself, "I'm sorry...I think it's just all caught up with me. I can't get the image of his wound out of my head...I just...that's my son they did that too! I'm so angry and hurt, and there's no one to take it out on. He's had such a hard time...I...what would possess ANYONE to do that? It doesn't take a genius to figure out what made that kind of mark...I get chills just thinking about what he went through...what he's going through...I can't imagine...I'm sorry..." she broke off into quiet sobs.

Sydney put her arm around her and hugged her, "It's ok...it's a lot to handle...Amélie...you've been so strong through all of this...I reacted the same way the first time I saw some of his wounds..."

Amélie sobbed quietly, shaking her head and hiccupping for several minutes, as thoughts of torture and pain, her son in agony ran through her mind.

When she finally calmed down, Sydney smiled and handed her a tissue.

"Thank you Sydney..."

"You're welcome..."

"You are quite an amazing woman...I'm glad you and Michael found each other..." she said with bright eyes.

"Thank you Amélie," Sydney said with moist eyes as well, "I'm very lucky to have found such a wonderful man..." She remembered something suddenly, "Amélie...I have to talk to you about tomorrow..."

Vaughn looked over at the smiling Tom, "Well...that went rather well...all things considered..."

"Your mom is great Mike...really great..."

"Yeah, I know she is," Vaughn said with a proud smile.

"So how are you really?"

Vaughn smiled, "I'm ok...not all the time...but I'm ok..."

"Pain?"

"It's there...tolerable most of the time..."

"Always pain?"

"Pretty much..."

Tom nodded, "I'm sorry Mike..."

"Not your fault Tom...thanks for being such a great friend and doctor..."

"Why did you ask me that?" Tom asked soon after.

"What?"

"If I could separate being your friend and your doctor?"

"Nothing...it's stupid..."

"Well it can't be that stupid if you asked..."

"Just Barnett...she mentioned something."

"About me?"

"Yeah – just if I thought you could separate the two..."

"What did you say to her?"

"I said that you could...just making sure..."

Tom smiled, "You ok with the therapy stuff?"

"Yeah, it sucks sometimes...really confusing, but...how're you? What's new?"

Tom smiled broadly, "I'm seeing someone..."

"Do tell..." Vaughn said smiling back.

"She's 3rd year Peds resident that just transferred from San Diego..."

"Yeah..." Vaughn said in a 'tell me more' way.

"She's got the most beautiful blue eyes you'd ever want to see...just like staring off into the ocean when I look into them...and they compliment mine...ya know – gray and blue..."

"Wow," Vaughn said raising his eyebrows, "You've got it bad..."

"Yeah, you should talk," Tom threw back, "And dirty blonde hair – not too blonde though...more brown, like mine...bout 5'8"...great height...cause I'm like 6'2"...you should see her with the kids, man...just...so great...she's wonderful..."

"Does this wonder woman have a name Tom?" Vaughn asked amused.

"Oh, yeah...sorry..." he said looking down and then looking back up at him bashfully, "Kaia...Kaia Castelli..."

"Ooo...Italian..."

"Yeah...she's...she's great...best thing in that hospital every morning...Italian and tan..." he said with a grin.

Vaughn couldn't resist, "Tan lines?"

"Nope," Tom said cheekily, "She sunbathes naked..."

Vaughn chuckled, "And how would we know this Dr. Barker? Have we...had a check-up with her too? Do a little examining?"

Tom started laughing, "Maybe..."

Vaughn raised his eyebrows again, "So...how WAS the examination?"

"It was good...every time..." Tom said with a wink, then added, "She's...very flexible as well...she was a gymnast and a dancer..."

"She a good dancer?"

"Aw man...the best...hell on wheels in the nightclubs...and in bed..." Tom said with a huge grin on his face.

"That's great Tom, I'm happy for you...after 'she who will not be named,' you deserve it man..."

"Thanks Mike..."

Vaughn raised his eyebrows, "You met at work right?"

"Yeah..."

"Where was your first time?"

Tom laughed, "It's actually a great story," Tom said sitting down and leaning his elbows on his knees, "it was just a sty day – I swear we must have lost like half the people that came in, and it was only her third day on the job."

"Dude, you banged her on the third day?"

Tom blushed, "Well...let me finish..."

"Ok."

"There was a bus accident, some ass drunk driver hit a school bus that was on its way to a field trip...it was only like 9 in the morning and the ass was all ready pissed out of his mind." Tom stopped to shake his head, "It was awful, ambulance after ambulance, I mean talk about baptism by fire – 3rd day and Kaia's got like 25 kids to treat...I got the driver..."

Vaughn looked over at him, with a questioning glance, not wanting to ask the next question, but needing to know.

Tom smiled, "I know, I wanted to kill him...I wanted to leave him there just to die on the table...but I didn't...I did my job...and I saved him...hardest thing..." He stopped momentarily, "After a whole day, we lost nine kids...nine...Kaia was just a wreck after it...we went into one of the exam rooms, and she was so upset, crying and...I was trying so hard to comfort her you know, telling her all the usual s, that it happens sometimes, and we can only do so much...it was bad...and she got really pissed at me...and then we just kind of stared at one another for a few seconds, and then she just pretty much attacked me..."

"In the exam room!" Vaughn said exasperatedly.

"Yep," Tom said with a Cheshire cat smile, "It was pretty hot man, I mean, she like ripped the drawstring on my scrub pants, I kinda threw her on the exam table...I was standing the whole time...it was hot...and hard..."

Vaughn was smiling at Tom's admission and he blushed when he looked back over at Vaughn.

"You wanna know after?"

"Of course," Vaughn said.

"Well, I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, but we couldn't stop smiling, or touching, or kissing...and I asked her if she wanted to get something to eat...so we got Chinese and took it back to my place...let's just say we didn't eat right away, but that second time...it was more gentle...more...I knew she was the one...you know? We ate the food cold, in bed...she loves eggrolls..." Tom was grinning like a fool.

Vaughn couldn't stop smiling with him, "Sounds like you found her...I'm happy for you..."

"Sounds like we both found her..." Tom said smiling.

Vaughn smiled broadly, "I'm glad you're as happy as I am."


	121. Explanation

**Chapter 121: Explanation **

_"Cooking is at once child's play and adult joy. And, cooking done with care is an act of love." – Craig Clairborne _

"A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness." – Elsa Schiaparelli

"No mean woman can cook well. It calls for a generous spirit, a light hand, and a large heart." – Paul Gauguin

"With true friends... even water drunk together is sweet enough." – Chinese Proverb

"A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else." – Unknown

Amélie looked at Sydney with apprehension and fear, "Ok...what's going to happen tomorrow..."

"Were you planning on spending the night?"

"I guess I hadn't thought about it...I did pack a bag in case...why?"

"Tomorrow is going to be hard on Vaughn...and he only knows so much, so what I'm about to tell you, you can't repeat to him...ok?"

"Alright..." Amélie agreed.

"Tomorrow, Dr. Barnett is going to...well...she's going to break down the walls that Vaughn has put up to protect himself, and I can't be here...I can't be in the house, and that means, you couldn't be either. She wants a completely closed session."

"I don't understand..."

"Vaughn's put up walls to protect himself – because of the torture. Since he won't talk about it, Barnett has been using me and our relationship as fuel to get him to lose control – to break down the walls...and she's doing it Friday...tomorrow..."

"Is that dangerous?"

"Well...I mean it won't be pleasant for him, but after, she'll be able to get him to talk, and then he can start to move past all of this...right now, he's just stuck in it...he knows I won't be here, but he doesn't know anything about what she's doing...and he can't know..."

"Ok," Amélie said, "But I'm not sure I agree with it..."

"Well, I know, but I have no choice, and actually, I trust Barnett, she's a good doctor, she knows what she's doing...and I think...it'll be hard on him for awhile...but if he will talk...he can get better then..."

Amélie shook her head, "My poor Michael..."

"He'll need us after..." Sydney said quietly.

"He'll need you after," Amélie said smiling.

Sydney blushed, "Maybe we should go somewhere together tomorrow, worry together..."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea Sydney..."

"You wanna make lunch?" Sydney asked.

"I'd love to..."

"What should we make?" Sydney asked, "What did Vaughn like when he was little?"

Amélie smiled, "Well, when he was sick, he liked soup a lot...but I made him tomato soup the last time I was here...do you have chicken noodle?"

"Um...let me check..." Sydney said as she padded over to the pantry and rummaged through the various cans and boxes. She voiced an exasperated "AHA!" and turned to show Amélie two proud cans of chicken noodle soup, "Here we go!"

Amélie chuckled as Sydney got out a pan and handed the cans to Amélie. They both worked around each other, chatting about nothing and yet, everything. Sydney couldn't remember the last time she had felt so close to someone that resembled a mother, and Amélie was such a wonderful one. They both made turkey sandwiches to go with the soup and got everything ready.

Sydney said, "I'm gonna go ask Vaughn something, I'll be right back."

"Ok dear," Amélie said as she continued to make the sandwiches, cutting Sydney and Tom's into triangles and cutting Vaughn's into squares, with no crust, just like he liked when he was a boy.

Sydney entered the bedroom to find the boys both smiling widely; Vaughn was gazing at her like he usually did after they made love. "Hi guys..." she said looking at both of them strangely.

"Hi," Vaughn said, reaching his hand out to her.

Tom smiled, "Hey Syd..."

Sydney came over to Vaughn and sat on the bed. He pulled her hand until he kissed it and then pulled her over more so he could kiss her on the lips.

"What's going on in here?" she said with a smile, looking between the two of them, "The women leave and you guys get all weird..."

"Just musing..." Vaughn said with a huge smile.

"About?"

"You...and the love of Tom's life..."

Sydney turned to Tom, "Love of your life? What's this?"

"I met someone at work, her name is Kaia..."

"Well...Tom...are we serious about Kaia?"

"Yeah, I am..." Tom said confidently.

Sydney smiled, "Good Tom, I'm really happy for you...she better be good to you Tom, cause otherwise..."

"You'll have to meet her, she's so great; she'd love you guys...and she's VERY good to me..."

Sydney's eyebrows rose, "Oh...I see...well, you're quite a catch Tom...you're a great guy...we'll have to do that Tom – get together with you guys," Sydney agreed.

She turned to Vaughn; "You wanna try to eat at the table today?"

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah, I can try...I don't know how long I'll make it today..."

She brought her hand up to trace his cheek, "You tired?"

"Yeah..."

"Ok, we'll bring it in here..."

"No, we can try..."

"No, you rest...we'll bring it in...another time," she said kissing him and getting up, sharing a warm glance with Tom on the way out.

Sydney walked back out and smiled when she saw the plates that had the sandwiches on them.

Amélie noticed her smile, "I couldn't help myself...Michael loved that as a boy, and well – you two are just as young, so I figured, what the hell..."

Sydney laughed, "It's great Amélie!"

She grabbed a few of the plates and took those into the bedroom and then came back to help Amélie carry in the bowls of soup. She grabbed the tray for Vaughn and grabbed all of his medication as well.

She and Amélie returned for drinks and then they all finally settled down in the bedroom.

Sydney sat on the bed with Vaughn, giving him his pills before helping him with the soup. He did well with the sandwich, dunking his crust-less squares into the soup.

Amélie watched him do that with a smile, enjoying the fact that he seemed to like his meal.

"What?" he asked softly when he caught her watching.

"Nothing Michael...you just...look very much like you did when you were little...you did the same thing then – dunking your sandwiches, it's nice to see some things don't change."

Vaughn smiled at his mother, "Thanks for remembering."

"That's my job Michael."

He smiled back at her, dimples blaring, reminding her even more of him when he was little.

When they finished, Tom helped the ladies remove the dishes and then went back into the bedroom to say goodbye to Vaughn.

"Ok Mikey, I'm gonna go and leave you in the hands of those two very capable ladies..."

"Sounds good Tom, thanks for everything."

"You bet Mike...I'll call in a few days, check up on ya – see how the antibiotic is working on the wound, ok?"

"Ok."

"You take care..." Tom said with a wave as he exited the room.

He stopped by the counter, "I'm gonna go ladies, thank for you lunch..."

"Tom," Sydney said.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for stopping by today...and I wanted to ask you..."

"You're welcome...and sure...what?"

"Um...Barnett is going to...well...she's gonna break down the walls that Vaughn has put up...tomorrow...I just wanted to let you know...in case...in case we need you...ok?" Sydney finally stammered out.

Tom just stood there for a moment and then looked back down the hall that led to the bedroom, "I'll be here if you need me...just call...any time...ok?"

"Thanks Tom," Sydney said, hugging him.

"Anytime...good luck tomorrow..." Tom said, "Goodbye Amélie, it was nice to meet you."

"You too Tom, thank you for taking such wonderful care of my son."

"My pleasure, I'll talk to you soon," Tom said as he walked to the door and shut it softly behind him.

Sydney and Amélie walked back to the bedroom. Vaughn yawned as they entered, "Sorry," he said.

Both Sydney and Amélie smiled. Sydney took her spot next to him on the bed and Amélie settled into the chair.

"Why don't you take a nap Vaughn," Sydney suggested as he let out another yawn.

"Yeah, I'm sorta worn out..."

"You should be..." Sydney said as she ran her hand through his hair. "You rest, us girls will chat..."

"Oh great, more stories about little Michael..." he said as another yawn snuck out.

Sydney smiled and kissed him gently, "Of course, have a good nap."

Sydney got off the bed and Amélie smiled at her son as the two ladies walked out of the bedroom.

Sydney and Amélie took a seat on the couch, and after a few minutes, Sydney got up to get them iced tea. She handed the glass to Amélie.

"Thank you Sydney," Amélie said.

"You're welcome...so...tell me some more fun stories about Michael..."

"Hmm...ok...well...let me think..." she thought a moment and then chuckled, "He was about five, and for some reason, I believe it was because he watched Sesame Street – he loved Big Bird, and he would only eat foods there were yellow..."

Sydney started giggling.

"Yes it was so much fun, trying to find everything yellow...or dying it yellow...he ate a lot of eggs, and corn, and bananas there for a while..."

She thought again for a moment, "One Christmas – must have been the last Christmas that William was alive, Michael became obsessed with proving that Santa Claus existed. He planned a whole mission to capture Santa on film for the whole world to see. I think some of William's work, some of the talk, rubbed off on him, and he planned it all out. He called it 'Operation Chimney Sweep.'" Amélie stopped to laugh, "He made William stay up with him. They were supposed to stay awake until Santa got there, snap a picture and run. They hid under the coffee table – seeing William weasel under there was priceless. They even had codenames...it was so funny..." Amélie broke off in giggles, "To hear my son saying, 'Gingerbread Man, this is Frosty," to my CIA Agent husband was the most enjoyable thing I think they ever said to each other."

Sydney was laughing uncontrollably, but she managed to ask, "Did they get a picture?"

"They were both asleep before it was even 11:00, if I remember correctly...William had such a back ache – and Michael was furious that one of them didn't stay awake..."

Amélie thought again, "When he first learned how to ride his bike...William was still alive...Michael must have been about six or seven, and they went out into the street...William was holding onto the back of the bike, and I was worried sick of course. They went up and down the street, back and forth, until Michael was confident enough to do it himself, then William let go, but kept running with him. And Michael was so adorable, he was waving to me, 'look at me mommy...look at me,' such a fond memory. It was all great until he hit a little rock that was on the road, well...let's just say it wasn't a smooth landing...William had to carry him inside, he was pretty banged up...he had a huge egg on his head, and bruises and scrapes all over. I was hysterical and William was so calm! It infuriated me to no end. So, we cleaned him up...he spent the night on the couch, sucking milkshakes and wouldn't ya know – he was out there again the next day, tearing up and down the street...he's always been resilient...but kids heal faster..." Amélie trailed off, obviously in thought. Sydney didn't press her for more information.

They sat in silence for a while, both lost in thought of the man sleeping in the next room...


	122. “It’s the Cheesiest”

**Chapter 122: "It's the Cheesiest" **

_"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." – Martin Luther King, Jr. _

"Truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it." – Flannery O'Connor

"You cannot change the truth, but the truth can change you." – Unknown

"Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship. True friendship is never serene." – Mariede Svign

"Though we have two eyes, we are supplied with but one tongue. Draw your own moral." – Alphonse Karr

"He who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly answers, and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession of some of the best requisites of man." – Lavater

* * *

Sydney and Amélie sat silently, neither knowing what to say. It wasn't uncomfortable, but neither had the words. 

Finally, Amélie broke the silence. She said in a quiet voice, "Sydney…I want to ask you something…and I want you to be totally honest with me…"

Sydney looked over at her with a scared look, "Ok," she said softly.

Amélie turned to look her in the eye, "I know what's going to happen tomorrow, and I'm going to stay…and Michael has asked me a few things, and I want to be sure that I told him the truth, because I don't lie to my son."

Sydney just continued to look at her, "Ok," she said again.

"I believe from what he's asked me…that he thinks he may be hurting you…not him directly, but all of this…is it?"

Sydney sighed, "Amélie, this is really getting old…I mean he asks me like every day…or at least after every session he has with Barnett, and I tell him every time, just like I'm going to tell you…I am fine…and he's not harming me in any way."

Amélie continued, "Do you get angry and not tell him or get frustrated?"

Sydney smiled, "No, again…No. I get angry sometimes, but not at him…I get frustrated sometimes, but only because he's getting hurt or because he's set back again. It's never him…does that make sense?"

"Yes."

"What did he ask you?"

"Just what I asked you now – he thought that because I don't live here that I would have a more objective point of view."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I've never seen you angry or frustrated, nor anyone else in this house…"

"Well – that's the truth Amélie."

"Good, then I didn't lie to my son…" Amélie smiled at Sydney then, "Please excuse my candor, but I had to know."

"I understand…you're a great mother…"

"I've tried my best Sydney, and Michael is a wonderful man, so I think I did my job well…but thank you for saying that…I've made my share of mistakes too, we all do…" Amélie said with a smile.

Sydney chuckled, "I'm sure you made about a million less than my parents did…"

Amélie smiled sadly, "Did you have a bad childhood Sydney?"

Sydney thought a moment, "I guess I didn't really think so at the time…I mean…I thought my mother was dead, and my father was absent a lot…I had a lot of good nannies…"

"Nannies aren't parents…" Amélie remarked.

"No…I have good memories, memories of us as a family, afterwards…well…it was hard. I learned to deal with a lot at a very young age…I guess that's why Vaughn and I fit so well…"

Amélie smiled, "I would imagine that's one of the reasons…what happened when you found out your mother was alive?"

"I don't think I've really fully come to terms with it…and I'm not sure Vaughn's dealt with it either. We don't talk about it much, I suppose someday we should…I just…she's very hard to read…to believe anything she says…my dad though…ever since this happened to Vaughn, he's like a different person…a real dad…"

Amélie smiled widely, "I'm so happy to hear that Sydney…it's about time…"

Sydney smiled, "Thank you…I'm happy too…it's nice…"

They slipped back into a comfortable silence for a few minute until Sydney looked over at the clock, "Will and Francie will be home soon…you know what we should do?"

"What?" Amélie asked.

"We should make dinner – what was Vaughn's favorite when he was little?"

"Hmm…well he liked a lot of things, he wasn't overly picky…he loved ketchup…on everything…"

Sydney started to giggle, "EVERYTHING! I mean everything – I'm surprised he just doesn't drink it straight from the bottle!"

"I think he did that a few times when he was younger…" Amélie said, "But, it has to be…"

They both said it at once, "HEINZ!"

Sydney started to giggle harder, "Oh, that's so funny…"

They both spent a few minutes giggling about the topic before Sydney asked again, "So what should we make?"

"I don't know – something he can put ketchup on – which of course, is…everything!"

They laughed again for a few minutes.

Sydney asked, "Ok, name some things he liked when he was little."

"Ok, he liked what usual kids like – pizza, burgers, hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, peanut butter and jelly…"

Sydney giggled.

Amélie looked to her, "What?"

"Well those are all REALLY easy to make…"

"Well – he was little…he branched out eventually…"

"Wouldn't it be funny if we made like macaroni and cheese and served it to Will and Francie?" Sydney said bursting out in giggles.

Amélie shared the laughter, "I'm sure they'd appreciate it…Francie being a famous cook and everything…"

"How about spaghetti?" Sydney suggested, "He doesn't put ketchup on it – but it has tomato sauce – so he should be good…"

Amélie smiled, "That sounds wonderful, do you have French bread? Michael always loved when I told him the garlic bread was French."

"I think we do," Sydney said getting up, "Let's go see."

The two bounded off to the kitchen and dug out all the items they'd need to make the dinner. Sydney started the noodles and the tomato sauce while Amélie worked on the garlic bread. Sydney was lost in thought as she stirred the noodles, thinking about Vaughn and his mother and how nice it was to have Amélie around to talk to. She wished that her own mother would have been such a great person.

Amélie seemed to notice that she'd lost Sydney, "Sydney? What are you thinking about?"

Sydney smiled at the woman's perceptiveness; "Oh…I was just thinking about you and Vaughn…and my own mother…how much she lacked in the mothering department."

"Was she a good mother when you were very young?" Amélie asked.

"I don't remember that much about her, but yeah…she was very warm…but that's not the person she really was…she was a great actress…"

"How so?"

"Well…I don't know how much you know about my mother…other than the obvious…"

"Why don't you tell me…"

"It's a really complicated story, but she insists that she is on our side, and that she loved us…but she's so good at lying, it's too difficult to believe her. I want to…I want to believe her…I want to believe that it was just some…I don't know…wrong turn, a bad twist of fate that placed her in such an odd position, and that she really wasn't acting. There is so much that I don't know, that I probably won't ever know, and there are so many missing pieces, it's just…I don't know…" Sydney concluded with a sigh.

"She's your mother, and you love her, if for no other reason, and that's troubling," Amélie stated.

Sydney smiled again, "Yes…I love her, and I want to…but I don't all the same. A part of me wants to forgive, to move on…and the other can't forgive her for abandoning me, for destroying my father, for hurting you and Vaughn, and all the other families of those agents that she killed…"

Sydney stirred the sauce some more as Amélie thought. She finally said, "I don't think you have to figure it out. I think it can be both Sydney…emotions are strange, and you can feel two completely opposite ones at the same time…"

Sydney smiled at Amélie, "You truly are amazing…" she watched as a smile reached Amélie's eyes before she added, "Just like your son…"

Amélie's smile widened even more as she checked on the bread in the oven.

They spent a few minutes in amiable silence, both bustling around the kitchen, getting things ready.

"I should go check on Vaughn," Sydney said as she turned down the heat on the boiling pots.

"I'll watch them," Amélie informed her as she walked off to the bedroom.

Sydney entered the bedroom quietly, smiling when she found Vaughn still asleep on the bed.

She sat down next to him and watched him sleep for a few minutes before reaching out her hand and tracing the outline of his face.

She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He responded slowly, eventually deepening the kiss and opening his eyes to look at her.

"Hi," he said smiling.

"Hi," she replied, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired…sore…the usual…"

She smiled sadly, "I'm sorry honey…I know it's hard for you…"

"No, you don't have to apologize…"

"Well, I still feel bad Vaughn," Sydney admitted.

"Don't…you do more than enough to keep me happy…" he said with a grin.

She returned it and leaned down again to kiss him. As the kiss deepened once again, Sydney pulled back, "Vaughn…your mom…she's making dinner…"

"Well good, then she's occupied," he said devilishly.

"You're so bad…you're going to totally ruin her image of you as the perfect son."

He chuckled, "Can't do that…we'll have to wait until later then."

"Count on it," Sydney assured.

"What is mom making?"

"We had a nice long talk about what you used to eat when you were little…"

"Oh God!" Vaughn exclaimed, "Please…no…"

Sydney started laughing, "You were so adorable…but…we decided on spaghetti, because we didn't think Francie and Will would find it as humorous as we did to serve macaroni and cheese…"

Vaughn chuckled, "Well, that was a favorite of mine…"

"Your mom's making you garlic bread…" Sydney said.

"French bread?" Vaughn asked excitedly, eyes lighting up.

Sydney smiled widely, "Yes, honey…French bread…"

If she had to describe his face at that moment, the word she would have used would have been 'glee.' He looked positively satisfied.

Will was the first to get home; he bounded through the door, with a bag in his hand.

He went to the freezer and placed some boxes in it and then set the bag on the counter before he realized that Amélie was standing there.

"Oh! Hi Amélie!"

"Hello Will."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good…how are you?"

"I can't complain…"

"What are you making?"

"Spaghetti and Michael's favorite garlic bread…"

"Oh, that sounds good," Will said hungrily, "I'm so hungry…"

"Well, it won't be too long…what did you buy?" Amélie asked.

Will moved closer and brought his voice down to a whisper, "Well…I'm not so sure Sydney will like what I bought, so I was gonna kinda sneak it in…but you caught me now…"

"Well what is it?" Amélie asked.

"Um…I kinda bought…junk…and Sydney doesn't like that…cause she wants Mike to eat 'healthily,' so she told me one day…"

"I see…" Amélie said with a smirk, "So you're trying to give him junk on the side?"

"Well…if it's here…then it can't go to waste…" Will said with a sly and sneaky grin.

Amélie giggled at Will's gesture, trying to sneak her son junk food, "So what did you get?"

Will's smile widened, as his eyes got big, "I got ice cream sandwiches, Popsicles, cupcakes, and sundae cones…and I might have gotten a few sundae cups too…chocolate…and strawberry…nothing much…some chips…"

Amélie started to laugh, "Sydney may kill you…"

"Nah, I'll live…"

Sydney sauntered out and heard that last part of Amélie and Will's conversation, "Why am I going to kill you Will?"

Will jumped, "Shit...Sydney…um…no reason…" he said looking at Amélie as though they hadn't discussed a thing.

"What did you do?" Sydney asked, looking like a mother about to scold her child.

"Nothing!"

"Will?" Sydney said in a warning tone.

He caved, "Fine! I bought dessert…I bought all sorts of junk for us to eat – for me and Vaughn…and ya know what – screw the healthy stuff – cause that's boring. Mike needs to have a little fun with his food."

Sydney smirked, if Will only knew how much fun they had with food.

Will noticed the smirk and made the mistake of inquiring, "Why are you smiling? Aren't you mad at me?"

Sydney was about to tell Will exactly why she was smirking, but then realized that Vaughn's mother was standing right next to them, "Nothing…he can have some – but I'm going to regulate…" Sydney told Will.

"YES!" he said, "I'm gonna go tell Mike," Will remarked as he practically ran off to the bedroom.

Amélie smiled at Sydney, "Boys…"

Sydney smiled back, "Don't I know it…"


	123. Comfort Food

**Chapter 123: Comfort Food **

_"Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art." - Miguel de Cervantes _

True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice." - Samuel Johnston

"True friends are the people that are there for you unconditionally. They are the people that never question you and support you no matter what the circumstances are. They are the people worth living for." – Unknown

"Peace is not the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it." – from the book Apples of Gold

* * *

Vaughn was rather surprised to see Will running into the bedroom, smiling like he'd just won the lottery. 

"Mike…man, you are never gonna believe this!"

Vaughn smiled, "What?"

"I just totally scored you food – junk food!"

"You did?" Vaughn asked confused, "How did you do that?"

"Well, originally, I just was sneaking it all in the house, but then your mom caught me and then, well Sydney caught me too – but she totally agreed to let you eat junk food in moderation!"

"Wow…what did you say?"

"Um…just that you deserved to have some fun…junk food and stuff…"

Vaughn chuckled, "That's all it took?"

"Apparently so…so SCORE!" he said raising his arms like a referee indicating a touchdown was good.

"Thanks Will," Vaughn said sincerely.

"You're welcome. We can gorge later," Will said winking, "I'm gonna shower before dinner…"

"Ok Will."

Will bounded out as happy as he came in and left Vaughn smiling in wonderment at how Sydney had caved to easily.

He didn't have to wait long before she came back in to tell him that dinner was almost ready and that they'd eat when Francie got home.

"Why did you cave so easily about the junk food?" he asked curiously.

"Did he tell you what he said?"

"Just that he said I deserved to have a little fun…"

"He said you deserved to have a little fun with your food…" Sydney informed him.

They both started laughing and Sydney added, "I came this close to telling him about how much fun we had with food that one day, but your mom was standing right there…so I refrained."

They heard the door open and close as the last of their party arrived home.

Francie said, "Hi Amélie! How are you? It's so nice to see you…I've had such a long day, I almost forgot you were coming over today…"

"I'm good Francie, we decided to take care of dinner tonight…"

Francie smiled, "That's wonderful. I love to cook, but it's nice when someone else does it too…"

Amélie smiled back, "I'm glad to hear that…nothing too extravagant though…"

"Extravagant isn't always good…" Francie said with a wink.

"It's almost ready…just a few more minutes…" Amélie informed her.

"Oh, am I the last one? Sorry I made you guys wait…"

"No, no…it's fine…it'll be a few minutes before it's done…"

"Good, then, I'll jump in the shower then…"

Francie ran off with a smile, "Hey guys!" she said as she passed the bedroom on her way to the bathroom.

Both Sydney and Vaughn answered with friendly hellos and then went back to their conversation.

"What do you want to do tonight after dinner?" Sydney asked.

Vaughn gave her a wicked smile.

"Vaughn…not AFTER after dinner, after dinner with your mom and our friends – before we go to bed!"

"I don't know – watch a movie, talk…I don't know…"

Sydney smiled, "We should talk some more about you…"

"Oh God," Vaughn groaned, "Please…no…"

Sydney smiled even wider, leaning down closer to him, "But you're so cute!"

Vaughn chuckled, "No embarrassing ones, ok?"

"Well…I can't promise," Sydney teased.

Will and Francie reemerged, ready for dinner several minutes later.

"Do you need any help Amélie?" Will asked.

"Yes, you can get the spaghetti on the plates, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," Will said, grabbing the pot and distributing the noodles on the plates. Amélie came behind him and added sauce to the top.

"You can start carrying them in I guess, we just need the bread yet and drinks then."

Francie piped up, "I'll get the drinks."

"Ok," Amélie agreed while she cut the bread and placed it on a plate.

Will came back for more items and the three carried the rest into the bedroom.

Sydney smiled when they were all in the room, "I'm sorry Amélie, I sort of bailed on you there…"

"Not a problem, I could handle it," Amélie said with a wink.

Sydney looked over at Vaughn and then exclaimed, "Oh crap, I forgot your pills!" She bounded off the bed and ran to the kitchen.

When she came back in, Vaughn was giggling.

"What?" she asked.

Vaughn pointed to Will who had a rather large stain on the left side of his shirt.

"What happened?" Sydney asked as she handed Vaughn the numerous pills he had to take.

Will glared at her, "You scared the shit out of me when you yelled like that…"

Sydney started to giggle too, "Sorry Will."

They all chuckled for a few minutes, before Vaughn piped up, "Hey…where's the bread?"

Amélie smiled and got up, with the plate, letting him pick it out, "Here…"

Vaughn smiled at his mother, "I love you mom."

"I love you too Michael…"

He took a big bite of the bread as Sydney wound some noodles on the fork for him.

Francie was smirking at him, "What?" he asked. "I love mom's bread…it's like the best in the world…"

"That because I make it with love Michael."

"That's right," he said with a smile.

Sydney loved the interaction between mother and son, obviously so close in their relationship, being through so much together. She only hoped that her relationship with her father would become like that.

For Amélie's part, she loved to watch Sydney and Michael interact. The way that they both seemed to feed off of each other, off of each other's emotions, and wants, and needs. She smiled as she watched as Sydney gave Vaughn a bite of the spaghetti and then took one herself. He smiled when she did, and she realized, they really only needed one plate…and wasn't that how it should be, she mused.

Sydney caught her smiling at them and returned it; she was pleased that it seemed Amélie approved. It was one thing when she said it, but another when she witnessed her approval.

Will and Francie were eating together by the edge of the bed, sitting on the floor, while Amélie had taken the chair next to the bed.

Will looked over at Francie, "Did you have a bad day at work?" he asked softly.

She smiled, "It was nice to come home and not have to make dinner after today, I'm just saying."

"What happened?"

"It was the day from hell…we didn't get our shipments today, and they were already a few days late, something about the truck being delayed with a breakdown, yadda, yadda, same story. Meanwhile, I've got people to serve and waitstaff from the nether regions of the underworld…I'm serious Will, they are like demonic…it's too bad that you're a spy now, cause I could use a decent waiter, with an ethic…"

Sydney, Vaughn and Amélie had largely been silent during Francie's discussion. Sydney asked, "You should have said it was a bad day, we could have…I don't know…done something fun…"

"I don't want to drag you guys down in the dumps with me…" Francie said.

Will put his arm around her and hugged her to him, "Aww…honey…"

"Why not? I do it all the time…" Vaughn said.

Francie turned to him, "What do you mean?"

"I drag you guys along…every day…why should it be different the other way around?" he asked seriously.

She smiled, "You don't drag anything down Michael…but thank you…"

"What can you do about them?" Sydney asked.

"I should fire them all and start over…" Francie said with a smile.

"Well…sometimes, starting over is the best way…" Amélie remarked, "No matter how much it hurts…"

Francie smiled and then looked at Vaughn, "You're mom is awesome…"

He smiled, "I know."

Amélie beamed at her son and the other occupants of the room, "It's just because I'm old…I seem wise…"

They all shared a laugh before Will and Francie started to take the dishes out to the dishwasher.

When they came back in, Will smiled, "So…what do you guys wanna do tonight? Movie? I got snacks…" he said in an inviting manner.

Vaughn laughed, "As much as I appreciate your willingness to help me be bad, I can't eat anything more at the moment…but feel free Will…"

Will chuckled, "I might just have to do that…so…movie?"

"Sure," Francie said, "You guys?"

Sydney looked over at Amélie and she smirked, "I can hang out with the kids…although I might have to chaperone…"

Vaughn smirked, "Mmm…don't think so mom…I love you…but…"

Sydney looked at Vaughn next, "You wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure," he said.

"Should we watch it in the living room?" Francie asked.

They all looked to Vaughn. He smiled, "Why don't you guys watch it…I think I'll pass on the whole moving to the couch tonight…"

"No, we can watch it in here too," Francie said, looking to Sydney.

"Do you want to rest?" Sydney asked quietly.

"No, it's ok…I just don't really feel like moving out to the couch at the moment."

"Do you want us to bring the movie in here?" Sydney asked.

He smiled warmly, "It would be more practical for everyone to watch it out there…unless we're all gonna pile on the bed…you can watch it…I'll rest."

"That's not what I'm asking you Vaughn."

Will and Francie exchanged unsure glances, uncertain if they should go or stay.

"Sydney," Vaughn started, "I…you shouldn't have to cater to everything…if you want to watch a movie – do it in the living room where there is more room and it makes more logical sense. I can survive without it…"

Will spoke up then, "Mike, we'd be happy to watch it in here, we don't mind."

Vaughn sighed, "I just…" he stopped, they all waited for more of a sentence that didn't emerge.

"Vaughn?" Sydney prodded gently.

He looked at her, "I don't want you to do that anymore…"

"What?" she asked confused.

"Cater to me…"

"We don't cater to you Michael," Francie said.

"What would you call it then?" Vaughn asked seriously.

"We accommodate your injuries…" Francie said, "And we're all happy to do so…so stop it."

Vaughn smiled at her seal on the subject.

"Ok," he said quietly.

"Are we gonna watch a movie or not?" she said in a vaguely annoyed voice.

"If you guys wanna watch–"

"Michael," Francie warned.

He chuckled, "I guess not…no, I really don't want to watch a movie right now…"

They all became suddenly aware of someone laughing, and turned to see Amélie in tears over laughter.

"What?" Vaughn asked in a challenging tone, "What's so funny mom?"

She had to take a minute before she could respond, "Not only did you just imitate your father, but you looked about 15…"


	124. Kitchen Calamity

**Chapter 124: Kitchen Calamity **

_"On this hapless earth / There's small sincerity of mirth/ And laughter oft is but an art / To drown the outcry of the heart." – Hartley Coleridge _

"Our sincerest laughter / With some pain is fraught." – Percy Shelley

"I remember, I remember / The house where I was born/ The little window where the sun / Came peeping in the morn." – Thomas Hood

"Out of the cradle endlessly rocking/ Out of the mocking-bird's throat, the musical shuttle… / A reminiscence sing." – Walt Whitman

* * *

"Do you remember that Michael?" 

"What?" he said smiling.

"You tried to make that dinner for…what was her name…Sandy?"

Vaughn started to laugh, "Oh man…when I tried to make meatballs?"

Amélie laughed even harder, "I swear Michael, at that age, you couldn't make toast!"

Will and Francie and Sydney all sat laughing, but having no real clue what was going on.

Vaughn said, "Her name wasn't Sandy…it was Candy."

Sydney snorted, "You dated a girl named Candy?"

Vaughn grinned, "Candy Cooper."

Will burst out laughing, "That's a terrible name man…"

"What's this about meatballs?" Francie asked.

Amélie started, "He invited her over, claiming he could make like a banquet…and really, he couldn't make toast…so I offered to help, but he was a big man, so he had to do it himself…" she stopped snickering, "I heard pots clanging, stuff falling, I was sure the kitchen would be Armageddon when I got in there…I went to check on him, it was so funny," she broke down in giggles, "There was smoke everywhere, pots boiling out of control, spaghetti noodles on the floor, sauce all over…" she shook her head, "and there's Michael, standing in the middle of it all, with sauce all over his face, I think there was even a noodle in his hair…and he's standing at the counter, trying to make these meatballs…they looked like baseballs…they were so big…I mean, these were not meatballs…they would have exploded into a meatloaf in the oven."

Vaughn sat there shaking his head as his mother recounted his shady cooking past, while Will, Francie and Sydney seemed to find delightful joy out of the whole story.

"I tried so hard no to laugh. The kitchen is a mess and he has no food…and Ms. Cooper was supposed to be there in like a half hour. I asked him if he wanted help, and the defiant little shit that he was, said he was fine…I mean…I started to just howl with laughter, and I finally just grabbed him and marched him to the mirror, I mean…once he saw himself, he just cracked up with me…and then I told him I'd make the spaghetti. He helped me clean in up and then went to shower. We got it all done just in time, and he was an honorable boy, but he told her the truth – he tried, but mom made the meal. And he must have pouted for about three days…mumbling, 'I could have made the spaghetti if I would have had more time…'"

Will was on the verge of falling over, Francie was leaning on him and Sydney had doubled over on the bed. Vaughn and Amélie shared happy glances and laughed as well.

When they had all calmed significantly, Vaughn remarked, "We are so having all of your parents over to tell stories about how stupid you were when you were young."

"Oh man, no way…never…" Will said as he thought about the prospect, "It'd be way worse than your stories…my mom would go on and on about little naked Will…"

Francie snorted, "She does…really, I think that's all your mom remembers, you must have been naked a lot…"

"I was not!" Will said, sounding about the age of "little naked Will."

Francie just laughed harder.

Sydney looked over at Amélie and snuggled closer to Vaughn, "Tell us some more…"

Will and Francie retook their seats on the floor and Amélie sat down in the chair again. It looked like all four adults were sitting down for children's story hour.

Amélie smiled, "Should I tell them about when you came home drunk?" she asked Vaughn.

He smiled, "Yeah…go ahead, apparently, I have no shame…"

Amélie grinned, "He was about 16 I think…" she said thinking out loud, "Yes, 16 because he had just got his license. He went out one Friday night with some of his friends and I was never particularly strict with curfews, but I think I told him to be home by midnight or something like that…anyway, it was about 12:30 and he wasn't home yet. Now, Michael was a very prompt boy, he knew I'd worry and so he always tried to make it home on time, or he'd call…so I thought it was strange that he hadn't called. I got really worried about 1:00 am and I was on the verge of calling the police, when I heard the front door shut…and it sounded like someone was falling up the stairs. I came out into the hall and looked down the stairs, and there was Michael…" she stopped shaking her head, "drunker than a skunk."

Sydney started to giggle.

Flashback  
"Michael?" Amélie said as he attempted to climb the stairs.

"Heeeeeeyyyyy mom…" he said with a slight slur.

"Michael, do you know what time it is?"

"Heh…um…'bout…leven?"

"No Michael, it's after 1:00 am…you always call if you're not going to be home, but obviously you were too busy drinking to do that…"

"Ahhhh…mom…I'm not drunk," he said as he missed a step and wound up facing away from her as he landed on the step below. He broke out in a fit of giggles, "Ooooppppssss…"

"Michael…"

"I just had a feeeww…" he said as he stood up shakily again and reattempted to climb the stairs that would take him to his bedroom.

"A few? Tell me you didn't drive Michael," Amélie said worried.

"Naaaaah…I took a cab…" he said as he hiccupped.

"Thank God you had enough sense for that…"

He smiled, "Sense enough…I'm very senseful…sensical…whatever…I'm full of sense."

"That is a fact Michael," Amélie said dryly.

"Would you mind telling me why you thought it necessary to engage in underage drinking?"

"Could you repeat that last one mom…you lost me in the middle there…" he said as he maneuvered around an imaginary object on the stairs.

"Last time I checked Michael…"

He was investigating something on the stairs.

"Michael…" she said, trying to get his attention.

"You know…these stairs are brown…I never noticed," he said giggling, "Are these wood?"

"Michael!" she yelled.

"What?" he said looking up at her.

"Why were you drinking? You are NOT 21!"

He waved his hand, "Ahhhh…just a few of us…guys…just had a few…"

"Who bought it?"

"Ummmm…don't member…"

"You accepted alcohol from…" she stopped when she realized it was fruitless to have this conversation with him now, he wouldn't remember any of it anyway, "Just go to bed Michael…sleep it off…we'll talk in the morning."

"Weeeelllll…you don't have to get so huffy!" he said as his mother walked away back to her bedroom.

She shut her door and listened to make sure he'd make it to his room all right. She heard stumbling and a few expletives as he must have hit something and then silence.

She went out of her room to his and checked on him, he was laying half on the bed, already asleep. She took off his shoes and maneuvered him so he was on the bed and then went back to her room.

She started to giggle after she shut the door and stood there for a moment, shaking her head.

"Oh William," she started, "If you could only see your son at the moment…" she said as she giggled even harder.  
End Flashback

"I cannot imagine you drunk Vaughn," Sydney said as she tried to stop her tears of laughter from falling.

"Well…after that, and the morning after, I had my fill for quite a while."

"We had a nice chat in the morning, after all the ickyness…" Amélie said.

"And what did you and Vaughn discuss?" Sydney asked in an innocent tone.

"Oh, well…we had a nice, long discussion about how he wouldn't be driving despite his license for a week, and then we discussed respecting your mother, and I believe we also had the 'dangers of alcohol' talk that day. Does that about cover it Michael to you recollection?"

"Um, yeah, except you forgot the 'if you ever come home drunk like that again I'll ground you for the rest of your life' part."

Amélie chuckled, "Well…sometimes parents need to give incentives…or threats…"

"Threats…yeah – I remember those…but my parents most famous one was 'we'll pull over this car if you and your sister don't cut it out.'"

Sydney and Francie and Will laughed and talked quietly with Amélie until Sydney noticed that Vaughn had been largely quiet.

She looked over at him, "You ok?"

He smiled at moved down a little on the bed, resting his head back farther, "Yeah…"

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah…I…I just don't feel too well…"

Sydney turned instantly concerned, and talked to him softly so the others wouldn't hear, "How don't you feel well?"

He shrugged, "I'm really tired…that could be it…"

"Is there more?"

"I just feel…my back hurts…and…I'm kinda nauseous."

"You think it was the spaghetti?"

He shook his head no.

"If it wasn't the spaghetti…the garlic?" she asked.

"I don't think so…I've had stuff like that before…"

"Hmm…" she sat thinking about other things he ate, "Maybe it's the pills…the Amoxicillin?"

He shook his head again, "It's never bothered me before."

"Well…what could it be then?"

He looked at her for a moment, his eyes boring into hers, "I don't think it was the food Sydney."

Realization hit her, "Oh, honey…"

He was quiet and looked over to make sure everyone else was still talking, "I'm scared Sydney…"

She moved over instantly, touching his head and running her hand up and down his chest, "I know honey…but you have to try to relax…you can't let it make you sick…"

"Well I don't mean to…I just…I can't help it…" he dropped his head down more on the pillow and closed his eyes briefly, "Oh man…"

She moved her hand to his stomach and moved it in soothing circles there instead.

"Is this helping at all?" she asked after a few moments.

"Mmm…yeah…little bit, but not much…"

"Should we get you to the bathroom?"

"I really don't think moving is a great idea at the moment…"

"Ok…are you gonna get sick?"

"No…not right now…but…yeah…"

Will looked over at the couple and seemed to notice something was off, "You guys ok?" he asked quietly, drawing Francie and Amélie's attention as well.

"What's wrong?" Amélie asked with a motherly look of distress.

"Will…can you get a bucket?" Sydney asked, her eyes never leaving Vaughn's.

"A bucket?" he asked confused, "Um…a bucket?"

"Yes Will, like a pail, a bucket…something…"

"Ok…um…why…" then he figured it out and literally ran out the door.

Will came back second later with a bucket and handed it to Sydney gently, "Here ya go…"

"Maybe you guys could…go in the living room…for a while," Sydney suggested.

"Sure," Will said, as Francie nodded in agreement.

They turned to Amélie and Francie said, "Why don't I make some coffee…"

Amélie seemed reluctant to go, but Sydney had everything under control and there wasn't really anything else for her to do. She nodded and headed out. Will closed the door quietly as they left.


	125. Separation Anxiety

**Chapter 125: Separation Anxiety **

_"Nothing in life is more remarkable than the unnecessary anxiety which we endure and generally occasion ourselves." – Beaconsfield. _

"Anxiety is not fear, being afraid of this or that definite object, but the uncanny feeling of being afraid of nothing at all. It is precisely Nothingness that makes itself present and felt as the object of our dread." – William Barrett

"Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained." – Arthur Somers Roche

"Panic is a sudden desertion of us, and a going over to the enemy of our imagination." – Christian Nevell Bovee

"It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength." – Charles Haddon Spurgeon

* * *

"Ok…everybody else is gone…just you and me," Sydney said reassuringly. 

He nodded as he closed his eyes and swallowed a few times.

"Shit…" he said quietly.

"Should we sit you up?" Sydney asked.

"No…not yet…" he said as he swallowed a few more times.

She just waited patiently, trying to soothe him, but knowing the inevitable would eventually arrive.

A few minutes later he said, "Ok…Sydney…I'm gonna get sick."

She eased him up and sat so that one of her knees supported his back while one of her hands drew large circles on his back and the other ran through his hair.

She could see the pain as a few dry heaves hit him. He winced painfully as a new set hit him and he coughed as well.

"Vaughn?" Sydney asked quietly.

He shook his head, "Mmm…" his brow furrowed and he straightened slightly, trying to get a fresh breath in his lungs. He bent back down and swallowed, before wretching in the bucket and groaning right after finishing.

"Vaughn…honey…are you ok?"

"Uuuunnnn…" he said before he vomited painfully again.

"Oh honey…" she said as she brought her hand up to cup the back of his neck.

He shook his head as if trying to shake it off, but that didn't help at all. He felt a wave of dizziness as he wretched again several times.

Sydney just sat with him, alternating rubbing his back and holding him while his body was racked with pain.

He finally seemed to finish, the heaving slowing until he was just left out of breath. He spit a few times into the bucket and then groaned, "Oh man…"

"Are you ok?"

"My back…really hurts," he said as he closed his eyes again.

"Let's lay you back," Sydney said as she gently eased him back, "Just stay here, relax…ok?" she said as she moved off the bed and took the bucket with her. She went to the bathroom and disposed of the mess and then grabbed a washcloth and several other items before going back to the bedroom.

Amélie met her in the hall, "Sydney…"

"Amélie…I need to get back to him…"

"Is he ok?"

"I think he is now…"

"Ok…I think we're going to bed soon…get us if you need something…take good care of him Sydney…"

"I will Amélie," Sydney said smiling and with that they turned opposite directions, one heading to the living room to wait, the other heading to the bedroom.

Sydney entered again and smiled softly at Vaughn, who was laid out on the bed. He looked slightly pale, and exhausted, his face sweaty and his shirt damp as well.

He smiled vaguely at her as she approached him, "I'm sorry Sydney…" he said quietly.

She looked at him as she sat down on the bed, wiping his face with the cloth and moving down to his neck, slowly mopping the sweat off of his face, "Why? You didn't do anything…"

He shrugged, "I'm just sorry you have to do this with me…"

"I'm not…" she said seriously and confidently.

She produced her assortment of other items, and handed him his toothbrush that she had brought with her.

He smiled and accepted it, tiredly brushing with difficulty because he couldn't use his left hand.

She smiled back at him and took the toothbrush, motioning for him to open his mouth, and helped him brush. Once finished, she helped him sit and took off the sling and the damp shirt, throwing it in the hamper.

She grabbed the toothbrush and other materials and took them back to the bathroom, rinsed the washcloth and came back to him again. She gently laid the cloth on his chest, above the rib wrap, and watched as he cooled down, running her hand through his hair as his breathing returned to a normal state.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked after a few minutes.

"Mmm…I'm not nauseous anymore, if that's what you mean…"

She smiled softly, "Well, yeah, but otherwise…"

"Hurts…"

"What does honey?" she asked.

"Mmm…everything at the moment."

"Do you think you could keep down more pills if I got them?"

"I think so…" he said tiredly.

"Ok, I'll go get them," she said as she left the bedroom. The living room was dark when she went out, and only one kitchen light remained; everyone else had gone to bed it seemed.

Sydney got all of Vaughn's medication and a glass of milk and then went back to him, handed him the pills and helped him down them all.

She put the glass on the nightstand and sat down on the bed again, "What hurts specifically…"

"Back, ribs, chest…pretty much the whole top half…" he said with a slow smile.

"Well, you never really notice how many muscles are actually involved in the whole vomiting process until you're injured…lots of back muscles involved especially…" Sydney said trailing off.

He nodded tiredly, "Seems that way…" He shifted and winced slightly.

"I know this probably won't seem real appetizing, but maybe you should eat something…with the pills and everything…"

"I'm really not hungry Sydney…"

Sydney thought a moment, "Well…what about a Popsicle? Will bought some of those…I mean it's not a meal, but at least it's something…milk and Popsicles," she said with a chuckle.

"Ok…I could probably handle that…"

"Ok," she said, grabbing the glass and venturing out to the kitchen once more. She grabbed the box of Popsicles and poked her head in the door, "What kind?" she asked, "It's a variety pack…Cherry, Orange, Grape, Lime, Banana and Root Beer."

"Banana," he said.

She smiled, "You reverting back to your Sesame Street days again?"

He looked at her strangely until realization hit him, "Mom can't come over any more," he said with a grin.

She took the box back to the freezer and then went back to the bedroom, peeling the wrapper off of the Popsicle as she went and then handed it to him after she shut the door.

He accepted the Popsicle and sucked on it for a while, Sydney smiling at him the whole time, "What?"

"Nothing…just…imagining a little Vaughn running around eating only yellow foods."

He chuckled, "It was a good thing I didn't like Grover…how many foods do you know that are blue?"

She laughed with him, "Good point."

She waited patiently with him until he was done with the Popsicle, laughing when he almost dropped that last elusive piece that never seemed to stay on the Popsicle stick.

"You want another one?" she asked.

He debated a minute, "Mmm…maybe one more…" he said with a smile, "And remind me in the morning to tell Will how much I love him – he is now my God."

Sydney laughed, "I will most certainly NOT remind you, because Will doesn't need anymore encouragement. What kind this time?"

"Root Beer," he said with a smile, "If I can't have the real thing, I'll have to settle."

She chuckled on her way out and grabbed him a Root Beer Popsicle and then waited for him to finish that one as well. By the time he had eaten both of them, some of the color had returned to his face, and he seemed to be in less pain, the pills obviously kicking in.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked.

"A little better…"

"Yeah…you want another one?"

"No, I think I've had enough for now."

"Ok, I'm gonna throw this away, put the washcloth away, then I'll be back, and we'll get ready for bed, ok?"

He nodded and she kissed him gently and then left the room.

He lay in the bed, thinking. He'd had a pretty good day, despite the pain that came with the check-up. His mother had brought a bright spot to the day, as did Tom, in his capacity as friend. And Will and Francie were always fun and inviting. Sydney was always…Sydney…she was always a wonder. He admittedly hadn't thought much about the session tomorrow, but it must have been there under the surface anyway. Actually, he thought, it must have been there pretty potently if it made him physically sick. He closed his eyes as he waited for Sydney to come back, trying to push thoughts out of his head; he didn't want to repeat that experience.

Sydney had taken care of everything she needed to, and had shut off the remaining lights in the house. She made her way back to the bedroom quietly, and stopped in the doorway when she saw that Vaughn's eyes were closed. She smiled when she thought he might have fallen asleep already, but she could see the furrow in his brow and the look of determination on his face, even with his eyes closed. He was thinking…and that could be bad. She had a fleeting thought of getting the bucket again, but then decided against it and entered the room, closing the door softly and locking it.

His eyes opened when he heard the door close, and he managed a weak smile for her as she approached.

She could see the fear in his eyes, the apprehension and the rising level of anxiety as thoughts of tomorrow ran through his head.

She sat down on the bed, "Tell me what you were just thinking," she said as she laid her hand on his chest.

"I was just trying to stop all the thinking…"

"No you weren't…you were thinking too…tell me…"

He smiled at her persistence and her keen sense at knowing what was going on with him, "I was just trying to figure out why I made myself sick…"

"Well…probably because you were thinking too much about Barnett…" Sydney reasoned.

"But I really wasn't today…I mean – Tom was here, and my mom…I was kinda busy all day – then Will and Francie – I mean I sort of made a conscious effort NOT to think about it."

"Maybe you tried to NOT think about it too hard…"

Vaughn chuckled, "Probably – like reverse psychology – my desire to not think about it made me think about it subconsciously even more…"

Sydney smiled, "Seems therapy is rubbing off on you…"

He smiled.

Sydney thought a moment; "I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow Vaughn…" Sydney stopped a moment to think – had she just lied to him again? No – that was true – she didn't know what would result…only the method…then she continued, "And the only thing I can say is that I'm scared too…I don't want to leave you as much as you don't want me to…but I trust Barnett. I think whatever she does; will help you in the end. I can promise you though, no matter what happens, I'll be here…I'll love you…no matter what happens, ok?"

He looked up at her in awe and wonder, this truly amazing creature who seemed to take his very soul in her eyes and make him see the world through her eyes. He pulled her over to him, "Thank you Sydney."

She smiled and kissed him, "You're welcome. When you love someone, that's what you do…"

He nodded and kissed her again, "I love you so much…I hope you know that…"

"I do Vaughn, I know…"


	126. Calming

**Chapter 126: Calming**

_"The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile." – from the book Apples of Gold _

"The rest of our days depends upon the rest of our nights." – from the book Apples of Gold

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort  
of feeling safe with a person,  
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,  
but pouring them all right out,  
just as they are,  
chaff and grain together..." – Dinah Mulock Craik

"She walks in Beauty, like the night  
Of cloudness climes and starry skies,  
And all that's best of dark and bright  
Meet in her aspect and her eyes..." – Lord Byron

"Envy and fear cause the face to pale, and love makes it glow." – Paramhansa Yogananda

* * *

"I think we should try to help you relax as much as possible," Sydney announced after a few moments of silence. 

He looked over at her, seeing the understanding and the love in her eyes. He didn't tell her often how much he truly needed her, but he knew she understood that too. One of her best qualities was her ability to know just what he needed, when he needed it. It was a truly uncanny talent that she had with him, but thinking back, when their roles were largely reversed, he had been able to tell when something was wrong, and what she needed. And they were always willing to mutually give it to each other, whether it was space or a lack thereof.

Tonight, she could see was definitely the later option.

"Hey," she said as he looked at her, not responding to her earlier chide.

He smiled and broke the eye contact momentarily, but then looked back at her, "I…"

"I know Vaughn…it's ok…" she said, smiling softly.

He was about to say something else, but she placed her finger to his lips, "I know what you need, you don't have to ask…"

He smiled softly, relaxing into the pillow and letting Sydney take control. She moved to lie on the bed next to him, reaching her hand out and caressing his cheek as she kissed him gently. She continued on his mouth, and then moved to lavish kisses all over his face, moving herself up slightly to allow her easier access. She thought better of that idea however, and moved to lie on top of him instead. He smiled as he watched her straddle his body, and relished in the feeling of her weight pressing on him. His hand went to her face, stroking her cheek as their eyes pierced into each other's souls.

He let his eyes fall closed as he took in all the sensation as Sydney's mouth moved all over his face. He missed the feeling of her mouth for a few seconds, but then felt her continue on down his neck, nipping at spots and alternating soft kisses and nips to his neck and collarbone before nibbling at his jaw line. She made one continuous line of nips, then licked the path she had just made. She backed off and sat back on him, waiting for him to open his eyes. They opened slowly, looking up at her, questioning. She took his face in her hands and keeping her eyes completely open, kissed him slowly, letting her tongue do all the talking for her. His eyes stayed locked on hers as their tongues dueled gently, their breath becoming one. She let one hand trail up to his hair, running through it gently, while the other trailed down his chest, caressing and kneading gently in an effort to calm his anxiety-ridden body.

She ended the kiss, resting her forehead on his, and then moved her head down until her mouth was level with his ear. She whispered, "It's gonna be ok…" and felt him shiver. She smiled, not knowing if it was the result of her whisper or the result of the impact of her words. She looked back up at him, and he was smiling softly, "Thank you," he said quietly.

She smiled in response and then went back to her task at hand. She spent several more minutes getting to know every crevice of his mouth, every tooth, every bump. When satisfied for time being with that area, she moved outward, kissing his cheeks as she ran her hand absently through his hair again, kissing his nose, his eyelids, his temples, his forehead. By the time she moved away from his face, there wasn't a millimeter she hadn't covered.

He was breathless already, and they hadn't really done anything but kissed. He reached out for her, pulling her back, but she gently placed his hand on her hip and shook her head, "This isn't about me…"

"But Sydney…it has to be about you sometimes…"

"Not tonight Michael," she said sternly, "and it's always about us – both of us…so stop worrying."

She moved back to his neck, suckling on the spot right by his ear, making him buck against her and moan softly. She whispered again, "It's gonna be ok…" before she moved down to lick her way across his collarbone. She continued from the collarbone in a line to his uninjured shoulder and kissed all around the front and side the shoulder, dipping towards the back, and then ran her tongue back up to his neck and past to the other side. She was even gentler on this side, his injured shoulder, but he moaned when she kissed it lightly, placing lots of butterfly kisses all over the whole injured area. She moved gently down his arm and stopped momentarily by his tattoo. She smiled when she thought of it, Michael Vaughn, of all people, with a tattoo. It was something so deliberate, yet he'd be the last person you'd think would have one…so unassuming with his dress shirts and suits to cover it. It was brutally sexy, and she reached out the tip of her tongue to trace the outline of the drawing on his arm. He chuckled when he realized what she was doing, and when she was done, she moved back to sit on him, smiling like the cat that just ate the canary.

"I love your tattoo Vaughn…" Sydney said in a sexy voice.

"You do?" he asked honestly.

"Yes…it's just…unbelievably sexy – it's so…" she giggled, "Well – I mean no one sees it…except me…I love it Vaughn…"

He smiled, "Good…"

She dove back in again, starting from where she left off, and began to kiss a line from one side of his chest to the other. She stopped briefly at a scar almost directly over his heart that was healed over. The mark was still visible, but barely. She traced around it with her tongue before kissing it thoroughly and then looked up at him. He had a glint in his eye, but he didn't say anything, and Sydney didn't either. She smiled softly and continued on her way down.

Next she came into contact with his nipples, and smiled devilishly as she flicked her tongue out against one; while her hand moved down to twist the other.

He hissed in pleasure and pain, and bucked up again. "Sydney…" he breathed.

She smiled but didn't respond, and switched to the other side, giving it the same attention while her hand twisted the other one gently. She looked up at him again; his eyes were transfixed on the ceiling as the feelings shot out though his body. She dove back down and took the nipple between her teeth and nipped and bit down gently.

His hips bucked almost violently off the bed and a long moan erupted from him, a semblance of her name at the end of it. "Sydney…" he finally choked out, "You're killing me here."

She smiled, "I know…" and went back to the other nipple, lavishing the same attention there.

"Sydney…I'm so hard…" he said in a low tone.

She smiled even more, "I know…" and continued as though he hadn't said anything. She moved past his nipples to his the line where the rib wrap met his skin, and she trailed a line of kisses all the way along the line, before venturing further and gently kissing the area covered by the wrap. She was especially careful not to press too hard as she trailed her hands along where she kissed. She fluttered a series of kisses around his stomach, still covered by the wrap and kneaded gently.

His breathing was highly erratic and she knew that he was more than ready, but she wasn't satisfied when there was over half his body to kiss yet.

"Sydney…" he breathed again.

"Yes Michael?" she asked innocently.

His head rose to look down at her and she realized she wanted him to be able to see. She moved up suddenly, making him smile, thinking that the kiss torture was over, but she quickly erased that notion, "Not yet honey…I want you to be able to see," she said as she kissed him languidly for a few moments before moving one of the pillows under his head to prop him up more.

When she was satisfied he had a good view, she smiled, kissed him quickly and went back to her kissing. He let out a groan of frustration, but it turned more into a moan when he felt her hands on his hips and her kisses start below the wrap.

She kissed the line on the bottom of the wrap as she had the top and sucked the flesh on his hips into her mouth slowly and deliberately, alternating between kisses and nips and sucking on the flesh hard enough to leave little red marks.

"Mmm…oh god…" he said, encouraging her further.

She pulled the waistband of his boxers down slightly and snaked her tongue under the area she just uncovered, making him gasp at the contact. She moved back up to his hipbone and kissed there and then moved to the other side to do the same.

She looked up at him and his eyes locked with hers as she took the waistband of his boxers in her hands and slowly peeled them off of the rest of the way. She discarded them and then moved back, seeing his erection standing proud and very, very hard. "I guess you weren't lying," she said with a huge smile.

"Mmm…nope…" he said with a glazed look in his eye.

She spread his legs and sat between them and then moved back to the hip area. She leaned herself down far enough that his erection was trapped between them, the material of her shirt and her hair teasing him incessantly. She went to the edge of the V of his hips and licked from the top all the way until it reached the top of his pubic hair. Then she switched to the other side and repeated the motion, stopping just short of where he wanted her mouth the most.

"God Sydney…please…" he breathed.

"Not yet," she told him as she kissed around his erection, but deliberately missed that most aroused part of his anatomy. She raked her fingernails gently down his thighs as she continued her kisses downward, making him shiver and shudder in response. His moans turned into an almost continuous hum as she switched to the other leg and once again repeated the motion. Past the thighs, she moved to kiss all around both of his kneecaps, dipping her tongue to lick on the back of the kneecaps as well.

He giggled helplessly, "God that tickles…" he said with a smile.

She peered back up at him and then went back, kissing her way down his calves and then finally reaching his ankles and feet. Once she had finished kissing every part of his body she had access too, she moved back and started kissing his ankles, then moved to the calves and then the knees.

At the knees, he couldn't take anymore, "Sydney…I love this…but if you seriously think I'm gonna lie here and let you get like all the way back to my mouth, you're nuts."

She chuckled, "Do you think I would do that?" she asked with a look of shock.

"Yes, you would," he answered confidently.

"You're right, I would…but not tonight…"

He smiled at her understanding.

"But I'm gonna finish this…" she said.

He nodded and she moved back to kiss her way up his thighs, raking her nails in the opposite direction that she had started from.

"Mmm…" he moaned.

She was enjoying this whole kissing thing, and she loved the reactions she elicited from him. She knew he wasn't prepared for what she had planned next, and smiled mischievously as she planned her attack.

She kept up her kisses so he wouldn't notice and risked a glance up at him. He was watching her, but his eyes were closed at the moment. She ran her tongue along the inside of his thighs, making her way back up.

"Sydney, you're driving me insane," he said with eyes clenched tightly.

She waited until she was sure he wasn't looking and then dove in, attaching her mouth to one of his balls, while her hand grabbed the other one. Her other hand was occupied in keeping him somewhat still as he launched himself upward, his back arching painfully.

"Jesus!" he said as he opened his eyes and looked down at her. She was peeking up at him, with her mouth still attached to him, her hand doing wondrous things in a massaging manner.

"Ughn…" was the next statement she managed to get out of him, his hips bucking upward, his erection straining painfully, wanting attention.

She pulled gently on the ball in her hand and sucked hard on the other one. His eyes closed as a new wave of pleasure surged through him. Sydney switched her tactics and took her hands off of him, using only her mouth as she sucked one and then the other into her mouth and then nipped gently. Then she moved her mouth away completely and used only her hands, kneading and tugging at them hard enough to make him squirm, but not enough to hurt him.

Then she stopped…completely.

His eyes shot open as he finally realized a complete lack of her touch. When he opened his eyes, she was smiling at him, now completely naked as well.

"Oh God," he said as he focused on her. His erection grew impossibly larger and she smiled taking his hardness in her hand, gripping him at the base. The pre-come that had seeped out had already started to drip down the side of his shaft, and more oozed out after he saw her. She dipped her head down and licked it all away, licking the side and back up, just like you'd lick a lollipop too large to fit in your mouth.

She stopped, letting it bob for a few seconds and then swooped back down abruptly taking the whole head into her mouth and sucking on the tip extremely roughly. His hips bucked up into her mouth, sending him inside her warm mouth further.

"Sydney…" he breathed in a strained voice, "God…I'm so close…"

She stopped, pulling away from him and letting the head of his cock out of her mouth with an exaggerated pop.

"God, why'd you stop?" he asked confused.

"Because, that's not what you need tonight," she said confidently as she moved up to straddle his hips, "Blow jobs are nice Vaughn, but I don't think that's the intimacy we're going for…" she added softly.

He nodded and watched from his vantage point as she moved to take him inside her. He reached a hand down and took himself in his hand. She smiled as she lowered herself, easing onto him and holding onto the hand that was holding himself.

He smiled, "You're so wet…"

"Well, I think that whole kissing thing sort of turned me on as much as it did you…" she said seductively.

"Good…" he said softly.

She lowered herself slowly, taking him inside her at a deliriously leisurely pace. She was so wet, that he slid in with no resistance, her juices began leaking out and coating his balls the second they made intimate contact. He couldn't have formed words at that moment if his life depended on it. He felt himself sliding home, where he needed to be most. Sydney had been right, blowjobs from her were great, but it was when he was inside her that he felt the safest, the most at home, and there was nothing compared to being inside her. He opened his eyes, looking up at her as she sat perched on top of him, letting him slowly inside, almost all the way. He waited until he felt her give way, his cock sliding past her cervix with little resistance and then he reached out for her. She saw him reach and knew instantly what he needed. She smiled and lowered her body down until she was laying on him as apposed to sitting. This position didn't offer her as much freedom to move, but it was closer, and close was what he needed. She touched his cheek as her forehead came to rest on his, he looked up at her, and she realized that he wasn't at his most vulnerable when he was with Barnett or even with Sloane when he was being tortured, this was him at his most vulnerable. She was responsible for his soul…she smiled because she must have been doing a pretty good job. He smiled warmly back at her as he took over some of the thrusting, pushing himself into her, sending his cock deep into her walls, feeling them tremble as she worked her muscles around him. She moved slightly, keeping her forehead connected with his, and her hands pressing lightly on his abs, and worked herself up and down on his shaft. His eyes closed again as he felt the friction of her movements, sending him in and out of her at more of a rapid pace than he could manage.

He could feel his muscles tensing more than he ever thought possible, the muscles in his abs tightening in anticipation. Sydney could sense the change in his behavior and knew that his climax was approaching. She moved down again so that their bodies were in complete contact and kissed him deeply for a few minutes, slowing him down and forcing his muscles relax temporarily. She all but stopped while she kissed him, he responding in kind, their tongues dueling and then gently caressing. His hand moved to her hair, running his fingers through the silky strands as she ran her hands through his as well. She gripped him deep inside her and then moved her hands to cup his face.

She looked down at him full of love, "It's gonna be ok…" she said quietly.

He smiled, tears in eyes, "Thank you," he choked out.

She smiled and moved down, gently kissing him. They kissed for a long time, gently, caressing, like they already consummated the act of love they were engaged in. Finally she broke away, breathless and started to move gently again, building him up.

She moved her hands behind his neck and pulled, "Come here…" she said softly.

He complied and sat up with her, the rise of his climax coming to the fore again as he felt himself slide deeper inside her. She responded by clamping herself down on him, eliciting more moans as his muscles tightened again in response.

She held onto the back of his neck with one hand and caressed his cheek with the other, encouraging him this time to climax. "Michael, it's gonna be ok…come honey…"

He closed his eyes, trying to engrain her words in his memory, but all thought seemed to stop. All he could think about was the gorgeous woman who had taken it upon herself to keep him sane. His balls tightened, the pressure becoming too great as she moved on him. She kept up her motions until she felt his first spurt, the muscles in his abs tightening and releasing along with his balls, then she clenched powerfully, holding him deep inside as he sent an enormous amount of seed inside her. She held him tightly through it all, while his body was wracked with shudders from the force of his climax. She smiled as she held him, her own orgasm coming soon after his, but not lasting as long. She had made him wait so long, it was only fitting then that his climax last as long. He finally started to slow, his breath catching as he came down. She smiled when he looked at her, his whole body moist and sweaty, the hair on his head slightly matted. He looked totally spent, his body on the verge of exhaustion. She smiled and eased him back, staying connected with him, careful to avoid his infected wound.

His breathing was slowing, which made her happy, because it was rather irregular after he came. He looked like he would fall asleep any second. He smiled up at her, reaching out his hand to move the hair away from her face.

"I love you Sydney," he said quietly.

"I love you too Vaughn," she echoed, "It's gonna be ok," she added as she caressed his face.

He nodded, "Don't leave me tonight, ok?" he said in a small, insecure voice.

She smiled, "I never do…and I wouldn't tonight…I'm right here…" she added kissing him gently as she ran her hand through his hair.

He smiled, "Thank you…"

"We'll take a nice hot bath in the morning ok?" she asked.

He nodded, but then looked rather scared, "With my mother here?"

"Vaughn, she practically told me to sleep with you when I met her in the hallway, she already knows what we're doing…"

"Oh. My. God." He said.

Sydney chuckled, "It's ok, your mom is kinda cool that way, don't worry about it…and seriously honey, not to be gross here or anything, but we're gonna need a bath, I'm gonna need a bath after…well…I made you wait an awful long time…"

"Thank you though, it was…great…doesn't really cover it, but it's all I've got at that moment," he said smiling.

She chuckled again, "Incoherency means I did my job well…as is evidenced by the amount of liquid that I–"

"Please Sydney…the walls are not that thick…"

She laughed, "You're safe honey," she said seriously.

"Thank you Sydney, really…"

"You're welcome…" she said smiling and kissing him softly, "Let's get some sleep now, ok?"

He nodded and yawned sleepily, "Yeah…good idea…"

She made a move to get the covers and he grabbed her arm, thinking she was moving off of him, "Don't Syd…please…"

She moved back immediately, moving one hand to his chest and the other to hold his face, "I'm not going anywhere…I told you…I'm just getting the covers…it's ok…"

He relaxed and smiled bashfully, "Sorry…I just…I…"

She smiled and put her finger to his lips, "Shh…I know…"

He nodded and then she moved to get the covers, and covered them as she laid her head on his chest. His arm moved to rest on her back, rubbing in slow circles. They both drifted off quickly, exhausted and sated, locked together in the sublime and divine union, two souls merged as one entity.


	127. Morning of

**Chapter 127: Morning of **

_"I reached for sleep and drew it round me like a blanket muffling pain and thought together in the merciful dark." – Mary Stewart _

"I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you." – Roy Croft

"Love is the enchanted dawn of every heart." – Alphonse Marie de la Martine

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire: In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable." – Bruce Lee

* * *

Vaughn woke the next morning feeling a weight on top of him. He smiled instantly, knowing that Sydney hadn't moved during the night. He shifted slightly and smiled again when he felt that they were still connected. He gripped her tightly with his arm and looked down at her. Her head was tilted up to his and her eyes were open, her mouth upturned in a soft, loving smile for him. 

"Morning," she said softly.

"Hey…I thought you were still asleep…"

"Nope…woke up a little while ago…"

"Thanks for staying," he said quietly.

"You're welcome…it was my pleasure," she said as she leaned up and kissed him softly.

"What time is it?" he asked.

She craned to look at the clock, "Almost 10:00…"

"Shit, I bet mom's been up for hours…"

"Probably, but I'm sure she understands…"

"Think she suspects?"

"Vaughn, I told you…she all but told me to have sex with you…I'm sure she's well figured it out by now."

He smiled, "Well then…"

She giggled, "You weren't so into being loud last night," she said with a wink.

He smiled, "Are we still gonna take that bath today?" he asked.

She smiled, "You bet…why don't I see if the coast is clear…"

"Ok," he said smirking.

She moved herself off of him and grabbed her robe, covering him up in case Amélie decided to drop in on him unannounced.

She unlocked the door and peeked her head out into the hallway, and then padded out to the kitchen. There was a pot of coffee that was still warming. Sydney looked for signs of Amélie but couldn't seem to find any. She checked the spare room; Amélie's things were in there, but not Amélie. She wasn't in the living room or the bathroom.

Sydney made one last ditch effort, peeking outside on the porch. Amélie sat on a lawn chair; thankfully not the one they had "fun" in, and was talking quietly to Donovan. The dog waged his tail happily at whatever Amélie was telling him, and then ran around the chair.

Sydney smiled, watching Amélie for a few minutes; talking to Donovan in a manner not unlike Vaughn himself talked to the dog. She loved seeing things they did similarly, knowing what traits Vaughn picked up from his mother.

"Hey," she said quietly after a few more minutes, not wanting to startle Amélie.

She turned, "Good morning Sydney…"

Donovan waged his tail happily and trailed over to Sydney, who knelt down and scratched his ears.

"Hey Donovan," Sydney said addressing the dog, who licked her hand appreciatively, "Sorry we haven't been very attentive…I think Will does a pretty good job though, doesn't he? You just wait until Vaughn is feeling better…then we'll play with ya…"

The dog barked softly as if understanding and then trotted happily over to Amélie.

"How is Michael?" Amélie asked softly.

Sydney smiled, "He's better…rough time…but…I think he's ok…for now…he's just really scared…"

Amélie nodded, "Yeah, I could see that…I'm glad you're there for him Sydney…"

Sydney smiled, "I am too…I love being able to help him…because I can't always…"

Amélie looked over at Sydney, "I'm sure you help more than you know," she said with the same raised eyebrow that Vaughn got sometimes.

Sydney smiled, "Are you…did you…"

Amélie grinned and scratched Donovan's ears again, "I may be old Sydney, but I'm still a woman…"

Sydney blushed and had no idea how to respond.

"It's ok Sydney, I don't want details – he is still my son," Amélie said with a mischievous grin.

Sydney grinned back, "No details, check…" she waited a moment, "Did you eat?"

"Earlier yes, before Will and Francie left for work, Francie made breakfast for us."

"That was nice of her…"

"She is a wonderful cook…and they both said to wish you luck today…and call if you needed anything."

Sydney smiled; it was nice to have such caring friends. "Well, I'm gonna make something for Vaughn and me…do you want something too?"

"No, but I'll come in with you, say good morning to Michael…"

They both walked in, Donovan trotting behind, and they separated in the kitchen. Sydney went to make breakfast and Amélie headed off down the hall with Donovan in tow.

The bark alerted Vaughn to their presence, "Hey Donovan!" he said as the dog jumped up on the bed and started to lick his face, "Miss me little guy?" he said.

"I'd say do Michael, his tail hasn't wagged like that all morning…" Amélie said smiling, "Good morning Michael," she said smiling.

"Morning mom," he said back.

"How're you feeling?" she asked.

"Better…did you sleep ok?" he asked.

She smiled, "Yes, I slept well…did you?" she said with a glint in her eyes.

Vaughn's eyes got big, then a small smile crept across his face, "That's just disturbing…"

"I'm not blind…or deaf Michael…"

"Please mom…"

She laughed, "I'm glad she took good care of you…"

"She does…always…"

Amélie smiled, "Good…she's making breakfast for you right now…what are we going to do today?"

"Don't know…" he said, "I think we're gonna take a bath…but other than that…"

She smiled, "Well…maybe we can work in some reading time," she suggested.

"That'd be great mom."

Sydney came in a minute later with one plate heaped with eggs and toast and bacon.

"Ooo…bacon," Vaughn said when he saw it on the plate.

Sydney laughed and looked at Amélie, "Did he like bacon this much when he was little?"

"Yeah, but not as much as ketchup…"

Sydney and Amélie laughed.

Vaughn looked between the two, "You can keep yapping, just hand me the plate with the bacon…feel free to yammer on about how silly I was when I was little, and how silly am I now, just give me the bacon before you do…"

They both laughed harder.

"Come on! Give me the bacon!"

Sydney acquiesced and sat down on the bed, shoving a strip of bacon in his mouth.

"Mmm…fanks…" he said through the mouthful.

Sydney kept up her feeding, adding eggs and toast as well…"

Amélie smiled broadly when she realized that Sydney had only brought one plate this time, both of them just eating off of the same one.

After a few minutes, Amélie asked, "I was discussing with Michael what we were going to do today," she conveniently left out 'before the session,' "I was thinking that maybe we could read for a while…I did that the last time I was here…and I think I only got to page two before he was asleep."

Sydney chuckled.

"I was tired…" Vaughn said defensively.

Sydney moved down to kiss him, "And that's just fine – reading put you to sleep…"

Vaughn smiled at her.

They finished breakfast in a light mood, and Sydney thought that maybe the rest of the time before the session would go well…


	128. “Rubber Duckie, You’re the One…”

**Chapter 128: "Rubber Duckie, You're the One…" **

_"A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else." – Unknown _

"I can forget my very existence in a deep kiss of you." – Byron Caldwell Smith

"All will come out in the washing." – Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra), Don Quixote (I, 20)

"Pleasure is a necessary reciprocal. No one feels, who does not at the same time give it. To be pleased, one must please. What pleases you in others, will in general please them in you." – Lord Chesterfield

"The vocabulary of pleasure depends on the imagery of pain." – Marina Warner

* * *

Sydney took the plate out and then returned to the room. 

"Are we gonna take a bath…" Vaughn hinted.

Sydney smiled, "Yeah, we should…" she looked over at Amélie, "Do you mind if we leave you alone again for awhile?"

"No Sydney…go right ahead," she said with a smile.

Sydney blushed again, and turned back to Vaughn as Amélie exited the room.

"Can you walk?" she asked him softly.

"I think so," he said, "one way to find out…"

She smiled, "OH! Wait – pills…" she said running off to get them. She produced them several seconds later and helped him get them down before she went back to helping him sit up.

"How's your back today?" she asked.

"Hurts…pretty much like normal…"

"Well, it'll take awhile…probably about 24 hours before the antibiotic starts to work…"

He nodded, "I hope it's soon, cause I'm getting really sick of it."

"We'll look at it when we get to the bathroom…"

Sydney eased him up to a sitting position and waited a few seconds; "Doing ok?" she asked looking at him concerned.

"Yeah, I think so…" he said a little shakily.

"You wanna keep going? Try to stand?"

"Yeah…let's try it…"

She swung his legs over the edge and pulled him up, grabbing him around the waist to steady him, "Ok?"

"Yeah…I'm ok…"

She kept one arm on him and grabbed his robe with the other, and placed it around him. "Should we start to walk?"

He nodded and she smiled and started to move backwards slowly. They made it past the doorway and had moved out into the hall when Amélie saw them, "What are you doing? I would have helped!" she said exasperatedly as she was about to reach for Vaughn.

"No Amélie, it's ok…" Sydney said trying to calm her as they stopped mid-step, "We've done this before – he needs to start walking…"

Amélie looked at the couple apprehensively. Sydney noticed her reluctance, "Why don't you watch us Amélie…" she suggested.

Amélie smiled, "Ok…" and that seemed to calm her.

Sydney looked at Vaughn and nodded, who was starting to get a little dizzy because Sydney had broken eye contact.

"You ok?" she asked, making sure before they started moving.

"Yeah…just…a little…no eye contact there…"

"Sorry honey," she said, as she started to walk backwards again.

He smiled and kept walking with her, Amélie not far behind. They made the turn for the bathroom door and Sydney deposited Vaughn on the chair that was becoming a permanent fixture in the bathroom.

Amélie stood in the doorway for a minute as Sydney puttered around Vaughn, making sure he was ok, and then started the bath water.

She smiled at her son who looked up at her, "What?" he asked.

"That was great Michael…" she said proudly.

He smiled back, "Well, it gets a little…unsteady sometimes, but it's better than it was…"

"It's great Michael," she echoed.

He smiled, "Thanks mom."

She smiled again, "I'll leave you to it…" she said, closing the door.

Sydney looked over at Vaughn from her perch on the side of the tub, "She's proud of you…so am I."

He smiled, "Well…I wouldn't be here if it weren't for either of you…"

She turned back to him and kneeled down in front of him, reaching out her hand and touching his cheek, "I love you honey."

"I love you too," he whispered as he pressed a kiss into her hand.

She brought her other hand up to run through his hair before she leaned up and kissed him. Then she backed off and smiled, and moved to take his robe off, "Gotta check all the bandages…" she said quietly.

He nodded and let her take off the robe, watching as she catered to the wounds on his chest and abdomen first. She gently pried the tape off of each one, and checked them all, looking for the signs she always checked for. She smiled as she had him move forward a little and started to remove all the bandages from his back. She left the infected one for last, preferring to get the smaller and less painful ones taken care of first.

She was gentle like she usually was when she peeled the tape off of the infected one, but he winced anyway, "I'm sorry honey…" she said quietly.

"S'ok," he replied.

She continued to peel it off, closing her eyes momentarily and praying that it would look better. She opened one eye first, testing it out, and then the other. The bandage had the usual drainage on it, but the wound itself looked slightly better, "Vaughn…" she said quietly.

"What?" he asked somewhat nervously.

She prodded gently around the area that was red around the wound; the redness seemed to have receded some.

"I think it's a little better…does it feel any better?"

"Not really…"

She prodded the wound again, "Does that hurt?"

"No…"

"Well – then it's a little better, because the part I just touched was red yesterday…"

He turned to look at her with a sideways glance, wincing in the process, but he kept going anyway, "Really?"

"Yes, really…I think it's getting better…"

He smiled, relieved, "Good…" he breathed.

She smiled, one because he seemed relieved, and two, because she shared the feeling. She leaned down and very gently placed a kiss on the area that was still red surrounding the wound.

He smiled as he felt her do that, "That feels nice Sydney…"

She came around in front of him and kissed him again, "Good, that was my intention…"

He smiled and pulled on her arm, pulling her down to kiss him again.

"You wanna get in this tub or not?" she asked playfully.

"You gonna get in there with me?" he asked equally as playful.

"You bet your ass I am…I think I'm the one who needs the bath more…"

He smiled and chuckled, "Well – it's your own fault – you teased me…"

She started to undress, "Yes, yes, are you complaining?"

"No, just responding to your accusation…"

She smiled and helped him stand and they moved together over to the tub. She eased him gently into the water and then moved to sit in back of him, pulling him back to rest against her, careful of his back.

They reclined in the tub for a while, both just relaxing and laughing, non-stop touching.

Sydney finally suggested that should wash instead of just soak.

"Why?" he asked innocently.

"We need to scrub Vaughn…" she said, leaving his imagination to do the rest.

"Ooo…ok…well…scrub away," he said, moving his arms farther apart to give her access.

She smiled, "Just make sure in all of our fun, that your splints don't get in the water…k?"

He smiled, "I'll be careful…we could let some water out…" he suggested with a raised eyebrow.

"We'll see…let's clean first…"

"Shouldn't we get messy first?" he asked and when she threw him a glance, he said, "Well…logically – you get messy and then get clean…not the other way around…we'll just have to wash again…never mind," he said as he laid his head back against her more.

She laughed, "Actually, your idea makes more sense…"

"No! My idea was bad…wash first…then sex…then wash again…" he said with a delightful smile.

She laughed, "Ok…"

He smiled victoriously, "YES!" he said and came very close to getting his splint in the water.

"Watch the–"

"Splint!" he said finishing for her.

She giggled and grabbed the washcloth and soap and lathed some soup on the cloth. Then she smiled as she sat him up, "Well do your back first, ok?"

"Sure," he said leaning forward to give her access.

She was gentle as always as she moved across the marks and cuts on his back, apologizing and kissing her way around as the soap caused stinging pain. She largely left the infected one alone, not wanting to hurt him and thinking it was probably better left to itself.

Once she finished with his back and neck, she reclined him back into her arms to wash his chest and abs and arms. She was gentle there too, avoiding direct contact with any wounds that were still open. He had his head resting on her shoulder; his body relaxed under touch and the soothing feel of the warm water. He smiled as she determinedly made her way across his chest, so diligent yet so tender. His position offered him easy access to her neck, and he slowly worked his way from the bottom of her neck up to her jaw line, kissing slowly and carefully on all the points he knew she liked.

She smiled when she first felt him doing it, now a heat was rising and it wasn't because of the water. Her hands eventually stopped the washing, more distracted by his kisses, and the washcloth dropped into the water with a soft "ploosh" as her hands became more occupied.

One hand reached down to his abs, massaging there while the other became engrossed in playing with his nipple. He moaned into her neck and groaned in frustration.

She stopped, "What's the matter honey?"

"I REALLY don't want these damn splints on at the moment."

She chuckled, "Oh darn, guess I'm gonna have to have my way with you then…"

"Sydney…"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna have my way with YOU."

"I know baby, I know…soon…k? Soon," she assured as she turned her head to kiss him before tracing the splints with her hand. His left arm was still mostly incapacitated; the three fingers on that hand (middle, ring, and pinky) were the same. She moved to the other hand, taking it in hers and tracing the splint on the pinky.

He regarded her investigation, "Are you checking for water damage?" he asked smiling.

She smiled, "I have an idea…"

"What's that?" he asked.

"You wanna have your way with me?"

He turned to look at her, "Yeah…but…how?"

"Just go with me here…k?"

He nodded.

She pushed gently on his back, sitting him up and moving him away from her. She stood up and moved to sit in front of him, and then pushed him back until he was resting against the edge of the tub, his back resting on the inflatable pillow that she had suctioned to the tub.

She smiled at him devilishly and stood up again in the tub. He looked up at her strangely, "Sydney…if you're like getting out of the tub, this isn't a good idea…" he informed her.

"Just trust me here…I think it'll work…"

He nodded and waited.

She started to walk towards him, between his spread legs, his knees resting on the sides of the tub. She stopped when her calves hit his thighs. His eyes traveled from her smoldering eyes down to her breasts, and then further. At his eye level were her dark curls, her sex glistening with water droplets and moisture from his earlier attention.

"Oh God Sydney…" he said quietly.

She smiled, "Well…have your way with me Mr. Vaughn…" she said seductively, watching as the shock registered on his face. She smiled wider and nodded, leaning towards him, and reached for his right hand. He smiled back at her and eased himself upward slightly. She deposited his hand on her stomach; holding his hand there and making him look up at her. "Be careful…don't hurt yourself…k?"

He nodded and took a minute to just look at her, trailing his hand through her soft curls, tracing the outline of her lips with his finger. She shuddered with the contact. His touch was so gentle, almost like in wonderment. She dropped her hand to his head, running it encouragingly through his hair. He smiled and parted her lips, dipping his finger inside her moist walls. He pushed that one finger all the way in, to the knuckle and then twisted it and brought it out. Sydney whimpered at the loss but was overcome with a sense of lust when he deliberately looked up at her and put the same finger in his mouth. He brought his hand around to grasp her hip, pulling her forward, making her lean down a little more. She complied and placed a hand on the wall for leverage, bent over him slightly. He kept his hand on her hip, but moved it lower then to grasp at her ass, taking one cheek in his hand and gripping her tightly. She let out a low moan as his mouth made its first contact with her center. He flicked out his tongue, flicking her clit gently back and forth a few times.

"Mmm…God Vaughn," she moaned lowly.

He smiled and repeated the motion before taking the whole clit into his mouth and sucking forcefully. She let out a cry, not expecting him to do that, and faltered slightly. Had she not been holding onto the wall, she might have fallen over and half-drown him. She now loved that wall…and his mouth…after that, all coherent thought ended as his mouth made continuous contact with her bundle of nerves. He was incessant, not letting up for a second. She had a fleeting thought of how he was able to breathe, but the sensations were too much to encourage more thinking on the subject.

Her knees began to get weak and shaky, and soon, the wall wouldn't hold her up. A fire was slowly building up inside her, the heat radiating out in waves from that one small nub to her abdomen, and legs, and feet. Her feet felt like they were on hot coals as his tongue lashed out at her sensitive clit once again.

"Vaughn…Vaughn…" she called, "Stop…stoooppp…you have to stop…I'm gonna fall…"

He smiled triumphantly, happy that he had accomplished that task. He added a few more hard flicks before he stopped and looked up at her.

"What's the matter?" he asked devilishly.

"Shut up…" she said smiling, "You know what…" She looked around the tub, trying frantically to find a way to do this that would accommodate both of them.

She looked to the back of the tub, and got the idea she was looking for. She leaned over him and looked at the items that sat on the shelf. What could she do with those? She was far too turned on to stop to move everything, and the other edges of the tub were too unsteady, she'd fall and crack her head open on his first touch. He couldn't kneel…and she had to be able to sit…

"Ah fuck it," she said in a low voice and swiped the items off of the shelf. They fell to the ground, several of them breaking in the process.

Vaughn looked totally awestruck, but extremely turned on, looking at the pieces of broken glass and wax from broken candles that had landed un-surreptitiously on the floor.

Sydney helped Vaughn turn around, helping him to sit with his legs crossed and then planted herself on the ledge, legs spread wide for him, her feet behind his thighs in the water, her ass just barely touching the ledge to offer him more access.

He looked at her in wonder. She smiled and ran her hand across his cheek, "K – get back to it," she said winking.

He smiled happily and dove back in, his tongue plunging into her as his right hand spread her open, his nose nudging her clit. She whimpered, her hands sprawled out supporting her weight behind her.

Vaughn switched positions, moving his tongue to her clit and his finger to her folds. He flicked his tongue across her clit in a side-to-side manner, while he pushed one finger inside her, swirling it around.

She moaned as new sensations hit her, this angle truly different than anything they had done before. He added a second finger, pushing her walls open further, and rotated his hand, causing her to cry out with sensation. He kept up a diligent rhythm on her clit, adding a third finger inside her.

She snapped, desperately needing something to hold onto. She reached out her hand and ran her hand through his hair, holding onto the back of his head as he worked insanely on her nub. She whimpered when he withdrew his fingers, but gasped when he shoved two back in, thrusting them in and out of her rapidly. He slowed then, and slowed the movement on her clit, and started to move his fingers inside her. He pressed them into the sides of the walls first, and then pressed downward, on the back wall. She knew the one wall that remained; he was evil…that was all there was to it…she smiled deliciously though in anticipation. He all but stopped, withdrawing his hand again, making her whimper. He looked up at her, jade orbs flashing. Her lust-filled eyes demanded that he continue, but she knew he was just giving her a little payback for making him wait so long.

She smiled, and he started again, flicking his tongue on her clit again and pressing the two fingers back inside her. He pushed his hand in palm up this time, different from the other times, and she knew he was going to help her out here at some point. He thrust the fingers in and out for several minutes, making her crazy with want, her juices drenching his hand. He finally relented, and plunged his fingers in deeper, curling them on the way out and finding the raised and rigid spot on the front wall. He pressed roughly, and her hand stopped its motion in his hair and gripped it instead. He backed off then, and ran the pads of his fingers over the spot in circles. In a matter of seconds, Sydney was humming, encouraging him as he went back to sucking roughly on her clit. Her legs were shaking; heat surged through her whole body. A flush was rising beyond levels she ever thought possible, and he didn't stop…he just kept going.

God she loved the diligence of this man.

She pushed her hips forward, sending his fingers in deeper, his mouth on her more, and her toes began to curl, grasping for some purchase where there was none on the tub bottom. She came powerfully, the heat erupting behind her eyes, liquid fire rushing to every pore, his name erupting loudly from her lips.

He kept up his attention until her hips stopped jerking and until he stopped feeling her muscles spasm around his fingers. He watched her come down, her cheeks rosy, a slight sheen of sweat covering her body and chest. Her breasts jutting out, the nipples standing out proudly. He couldn't stop smiling…

She looked down at him, finally succumbing to her shakiness and sat back on the tub ledge, "Jesus Vaughn…" she breathed.

He smiled, deliriously happy, "So…did I have my way with you?"

"Holy shit did you ever," she said.

She stood up very shakily and let the water out of the tub, and then turned it back on, and watched as it filled. She helped him turn and sat back, bringing him with her and smoothing his hair that she had grasped just moments ago.

"Vaughn…that was amazing…thank you…" she said.

His continuous smile didn't falter, "Thank you…and you're welcome…"


	129. Once More, With Feeling

A/N: In this chap - there's this part where Syd & Vaughn keep going back and forth (heh) and I tried to separate which of the words they were saying by indenting Syd's lines - so I hope it makes more sense that way - cause ya know...they say those for a reason... Ok - so indents didn't work - so now "-" those are Syd...

* * *

**Chapter 129: Once More, With Feeling (totally ripped off of Buffy) **

_"Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts." – Brigitte Bardot _

"Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is." – German Proverb

"Fear grows in darkness; if you think there's a bogeyman around, turn on the light." – Dorothy Thompson

* * *

Sydney stroked her hand up and down Vaughn's chest languidly, pressing her mouth to his temple every few moments. 

The smile that had been plastered to his face since he had made her come had not faltered or faded in the least.

"Are we gonna wash again?" he asked quietly as he snuggled into her.

She smiled, "After we're done…"

He turned his head to look at her.

She smiled naughtily at him, "We are FAR from done Mr. Vaughn…"

The smile that was permanently a fixture on his face turned to shock for a split second, "What…I mean…"

"I haven't had MY way with YOU yet…" she smiled and moved him forward, slipping out from behind him and moving to sit in front of him.

He smiled widely when he thought she was going to sit in his lap, but she planted herself on the bottom of the tub, and inched closer to him, pulling him more towards the middle of the tub as she placed her legs on either side of his hips, over his thighs.

He gave her a look of confusion, not fully understanding what she had in mind, but he was willing to give it a try.

She smiled at his apparent perplexity, and winked at him, "Just trust me."

"Always Sydney," he said honestly.

She smiled lovingly, reaching out to trace his cheek and leaned over to give him a soft kiss.

While he was distracted by her kiss, she reached down into the warm water and started to stroke his semi-hard cock to full erectness.

"Mmm…" he hummed as Sydney's mouth covered his.

She kept her attention divided between his mouth and his cock, which she was stroking slowly under the water. She ran her thumb over the head, feeling the moisture as it leaked out of his cock into the water.

She inched closer to him, pulling herself closer, closing the space between them. She positioned him at her entrance and grabbed around him, pulling herself towards him.

"Oh God Vaughn…" Sydney gasped as the tip of his cock penetrated her opening.

She threw her head back as she leaned into him more, making his cock slide in further.

They stopped moving, just holding that position for a few minutes, while their hands explored other areas and their tongues dueled.

Sydney had one hand threaded around Vaughn's neck, and the other on his back while Vaughn had his hand tangled in Sydney's locks as well.

Vaughn was in heaven, the water made his penetration feel that much hotter; the temperature of her walls fiery on his sensitive skin.

"You feel so hot…" Sydney murmured against his neck.

"Mmm…so do you," he agreed, "silky and hot…"

She smiled and then gasped, using her feet to pull him in her, the added wetness of the water allowing him to slide in deeper. She laid her head on his shoulder for a moment, feeling the steady throb of his cock. The angle didn't offer a lot of movement options, but it created an enormous amount of friction. Sydney started to rock against him, making him slide against her clit on every stroke.

The water sluiced around them as their rocking became more regulated. It churned gently in time with their movements, their thrusts becoming slightly easier with the weightlessness the water provided.

Sydney groaned, her walls stretched, his presence hard and insistent, pushing up into her like velvet steel, begging for entrance into her womb. She felt so incredibly full, full of him, full of water, all pushing deeply in and against her. Her muscles ached deliciously as she attempted to accommodate all the fullness.

"Mmm…so big…God…so full…" she breathed out.

He echoed her groan, feeling water alongside and around him, putting pressure on his cock, the pressure on the head exquisite when coupled with her muscles clamping. The water pushed in and out in time with him, Sydney squeezed him in and out and he thrust in and out gently as well; it was enough to drive a man slowly crazy; sensory overload.

"So tight Syd…unn…this feels…so wonderful," he accentuated with a deeper thrust.

She took all of him that he was offering, clasping her hand behind his head and kissing him roughly for several minutes.

"God Sydney…" he breathed as he looked at her in awe. He smiled, trying to form regular thought patterns, "You have THE greatest ideas…"

She smiled proudly, emphasizing with a sharp squeeze of her muscles, making his eyes clench tightly shut for a moment as flaming warmth engulfed him further. "Thank you…" she said finally.

Her hands trailed wet paths across his chest and back, her mouth attached to every pressure point on the top half of him she could reach. He was dying slowly of pleasure, their moans a joint chorus choir to the heavens. He responded to her in kind, flicking his fingers across her nipples, twisting and pulling them before dipping his mouth down to suck them and then nipping gently. He pulled her closer to him, instinctively trying to get inside her further, to penetrate deeper, deposit his seed as deeply as possible.

He smiled when he realized what he was doing, but he also noticed that the deeper he pushed, the more Sydney clamped down on him, gripping him tightly, and it made it all the more intense knowing that perhaps she felt the same way.

The sensations were building to an impossible crescendo, Vaughn started to pick up the tempo, but Sydney reached out and touched his cheek. He looked into her eyes and she smiled, "Not yet, ok?"

He smiled and straggled out, "Ok," and then slowed his thrusts down.

"I just…want to feel you more…" she said smiling.

He smiled back, "No complaints from me…"

They moved in synchronicity for several more minutes, slowly thrusting and gently caressing.  
Sydney looked at him and touched his cheek gently again, "Come with me…" she said quietly.  
He smiled and quickened the pace with her, bringing them to the brink of climax again. This time however, Sydney did not ask him to stop, but encouraged him to keep going.

Vaughn came crashing into climax, his semen gushing into her, mixing subtly with the water that engulfed him inside her. He was swallowed in an incinerator, her walls like a furnace churning heat inside it; the pressure from the water like a dam breaking, snapping his hold on sanity as he plunged headfirst into the oblivion of his orgasm.

Sydney's muscles rippled around Vaughn, his cock like a piston creating its own combustion as her climax shattered around him. She held onto him, clinging as they both gyrated gently in the water, the temperature inside her fluttering walls nearing an incandescent point as white light flashed behind her eyes. His climax hit her like a huge firework, bursting forth and spreading with the water churning with him inside her. She had never felt so full in her whole life, completely consumed by this man, the uncanny fullness creating a low ache in her stomach.

She hung onto him as they both tried to calm their extremely sated bodies. Their breath gently quivering and trembling on each other's necks Sydney moved her hand up to cup the back of his head and ran her fingers through the sweaty, short strands at his hairline.

He nested his head into her neck farther, pushing himself deeper inside her as well.

"You ok?" she asked quietly.

He nodded from his position but Sydney wasn't sure he was telling her the truth.

"Vaughn…" she said again, trying to get him to look at her, but he only burrowed further.

She held onto him, gently rocking him in the water. His breath on her neck slowed, his chest rising and falling at a slower tempo as well.

She gently forced him back to look at her finally, "What's wrong?" she asked when she could see the moisture in his eyes.

He shook his head, "I don't wanna leave this tub Sydney…"

She tilted her head compassionately, bringing him back to her and hugging him fiercely, "Aw...baby..." she said while she resumed her rocking. "I know…I know…"

She moved him back again when she couldn't make out what he was mumbling, "What honey?"

"I don't want you to leave…"

"Honey, it's only an hour…I'll only be gone for an hour…why don't we not think about it…ok? That's what I've been trying to do here…"

"I know," he said, offering her a small smile, "and you do a great job, but it's always there Sydney…"

"K – let's do this…" she pulled back from him, easing him out of her.

He let out a small groan of protest, but she quickly remedied the situation. She let the water out of the tub yet again, and started to fill it again, and then sat behind him, in a position that they were both getting very comfortable with.

"K, we're just gonna relax now, no thinking, we're gonna finish washing…then get out, get dressed and have a nice leisurely lunch…ok?"

He nodded, but she knew it wasn't really going to work. He was quiet for a long time, letting her run the soapy washcloth over him again. Then he said in a voice full of awe, "That was amazing Sydney…"

She smiled and pressed her lips to his neck, "I know…"

"Safe…"

That one simple word did so much for both of them. It was Vaughn's lifeline, and Sydney was happy to provide it. She was proud that he felt safe with her, truly the only time he felt completely so.

"What else did you feel?" she asked quietly.

"You're a safe haven Sydney…my safe haven…"

She ran her hand through his hair and placed several butterfly kisses on his head and neck.

"Thank you…with you Vaughn…God, it's always…heaven…paradise…"

He smiled, "Bliss…"

She took her turn, "Grace…"

"Redemption…"

- "Glorious…"

"Salvation…"

- "Desire…"

"Hunger…"

- "Overwhelming…"

"Possessive…"

- "Primal…"

"Consuming…"

- "Content…"

"Spiritual…"

- "Yearning…"

"Devotion…"

- "Tenderness…"

"Captivating…"

- "Beautiful…"

"Seductive…"

- "Completion…"

"Satiated…"

- "Fulfilled…"

"Circular…"

- "Destined…"

"Soul mates…"

- "Lovers…"

"Enamored…"

- "Intimate…"

"Reciprocity…"

- "Selflessness…"

"Perfection…"

- "Guardian…"

"Erotic…"

- "Elation…"

"Illumination…"

- "Miraculous…"

"Healing…"

- "Profound…"

"Encompassing…"

- "Undeniable…"

"Sacred…"

- "Tantalizing…"

"Rebirth…"

- "Bewitching…"

"Human…"

- "Passionate…"

"Sensitive…"

- "Surrounding…"

"Rapturous…"

- "Delectable…"

"Silky…"

- "Searing…"

"Lingering…"

- "Languorous…"

"Magical…"

- "Sublime…"

"Instinctive…"

- "Psychic…"

"Feverish…"

- "Blessed…"

"Real…"

- "Everything…"

"Love…"


	130. Strolling…

**Chapter 130: Strolling… **

_"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." – Agatha Christie _

"I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces." – Peter Jennings

"Isn't privacy about keeping taboos in their place?" – Kate Millet

"Animals are such agreeable friends, they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." – George Eliot

**

* * *

**

"We should really get out of the tub Vaughn…we're already gonna look like prunes, and I'm really surprised your mom hasn't knocked on the door wondering if we've drowned…"

Vaughn chuckled, "We were kinda loud…"

Sydney smiled, "Well…I can't help it when you do that…"

He smiled mischievously, "Good…"

She ran her hand through his hair one more time before gently pushing him away and standing to get out of the tub. She let the water out and helped him get out of the tub, and sat him on the chair again. She set to bandaging the wounds again, following her standard procedure for doing so.

She replaced the wrap and sat down on his lap to shave him. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her as she ran the razor over his stubbly face.

She applied aftershave and then put robes back on both of them so they could go back to the bedroom.

"Ready?" she asked.

He smiled and nodded, taking her hand as she helped him get up. They moved out of the bathroom and into the hall where Sydney called out, "We're finally finished Amélie! Sorry we took so long…"

They both kept moving, waiting for a reply but one didn't arrive.

Sydney looked at Vaughn, who shrugged and said, "Don't look at me…I have no clue where she went, I was in the tub the whole time…" He smiled naughtily.

"You're so bad…it's a really good thing your mother is not here at the moment, she raised you better than that," Sydney teased.

He chuckled, "Yeah…right…"

She deposited him on the bed and turned to the bags of clothes that she still hadn't had the time to put away. "I really should hang this stuff up soon, it's gonna be really wrinkled…"

He smiled, "Where are you gonna hang it?"

"In the closet of course," she said slowly, looking at him like he was insane.

"Which closet?"

"What do you mean which closet? This one," she said pointing to the closet a few steps away from her.

"Am I moving in?" he asked quietly.

She smiled and moved to sit on the bed next to him. She thought a moment before she answered, "I guess I hadn't really thought about it 'officially.'"

He nodded, "You don't have to answer that, I'm not sure why I even asked."

"No…I want to answer it," she turned to look at him, "Ok, right now you live here, that much is a fact. When you're better, I don't see why that should change. I love having you here, I want you here…once your better we'll have to talk more about…stuff…your stuff…maybe we should think about getting our own place…" she stopped and tried to gauge his reaction. The look on his face made her heart melt. The smile that accompanied it was one of awe and contentment.

"I'd like that…" he said in wonder.

"That's a good idea then?"

"Yeah – you have the greatest ideas, remember?" he asked, leaning over to kiss her.

She smiled, "Let's get you dressed…" She got up and went back to the bags with one last parting kiss.

"I'd rather you say, 'let's get you undressed…'"

She turned around to look at him and smiled, "Later honey…later…" She went back to digging in the bags trying to find what she thought was appropriate attire.

"How's this?" she asked holding up what she had picked.

He had already been watching her, enjoying the view as she had bent over to riffle through the bags. He looked at the articles she had picked, an ivory short-sleeved button-up shirt and a pair of blue jeans.

"This ok? Or do you want a tee shirt?"

"No, that's fine," he said warmly.

She smiled and placed the articles on the bed and then went over to the dresser and socks and a pair of boxers for him as well. She came back to him and undid the belt on the robe, slipped it off his shoulders and tossed it on the bed. She helped him dress, buttoning the buttons on the shirt and helped him stand to get the boxers and pants on. She sat him down again and adjusted the sling so his shoulder was protected and then finished by helping him with the socks.

She smiled as she surveyed her work, "You look yummy…" she said happily.

He chuckled, "Thanks, you do too…I'd prefer if you stay that way…" he motioned to the robe.

She regarded him sexily, "You want me to leave it on?" she asked as she playfully loosened the ties.

A hungry and lustful grin spread across his face as she separated the material of the robe, exposing herself in all her glory for him.

His eyes roamed over her whole beautiful form, "You should close the door," he said softly, "We don't know where my mother is, but if she walks in…it's different than hearing us," he said with a wink.

Sydney smiled back at him, "Actually, we can't mess around too much longer Vaughn – it's lunchtime already. We spent the whole morning in the bath tub."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Vaughn said jokingly.

Sydney went to the dresser and pulled out various articles of clothing. "It was a really good thing, but we have to start the day sometime…"

"I don't particularly want this day to start," he said honestly.

She came back over to him half-dressed and kissed him, "I know baby." She gave his shoulder a squeeze and finished dressing.

"I should make lunch and we should really figure out what happened to your mother."

As soon as the words left Sydney's mouth, the front door opened and closed and the scamper of little feet on tile could be heard.

Donovan, tail wagging like a metronome on speed and tongue lolling, came bounding into the room and headed right to Vaughn's side. The dog jumped up on the bed and proceeded to show his master just how happy he was to see him.

Vaughn chuckled at the dog's affection and scratched his ears the way only he knew how.

Amélie's voice called out, "Everyone decent?"

Sydney chuckled and Vaughn smiled at the comment before Sydney answered, "Yeah, everyone's good…"

Amélie's head peeked in the room, "Well! You aren't raisins…I'm surprised! Either that or I thought perhaps someone was drowning the two of you with all the commotion from behind that door!"

Flashback  
Amélie walked past the bathroom door on her way to the spare room when she heard the sound of things crashing from behind said door. She quickly moved to the door, her hand on the knob, ready to go in and assist, but other noises; noises of a different 'commotion,' definitely NOT struggle-like came from behind the same door. Her hand faltered. Donovan came trotting over and looked quizzically at Amélie and then at the closed door. He twisted his head to the side and looked back at Amélie.

She smiled at the dog, "I think they're busy, boy. Let's go for a walk…"

She grabbed the leash from behind the door and hooked the end on Donovan's collar. She jerked lightly on the leash as the dog seemed fixed on the spot he was sitting on. He took one last look at the door and then relented, following Amélie out the door.

As they walked down the sidewalk, Amélie explained, "You see Donovan, Sydney has a very important job, especially today. She's taking care of Michael, keeping him safe…it'll be a rough afternoon for him."

The dog looked at the sidewalk and then at his master's mother, listening intently.

He let out a few short barks.

"That's right Donovan," Amélie said smiling.  
End Flashback

Both Vaughn and Sydney blushed at Amélie's statement.

"I have to clean that up yet," Sydney said absently. She looked at Amélie, "You took Donovan for a walk?"

"Yes, we took a very LONG walk, didn't we boy?"

Donovan barked happily as Vaughn continued to give him attention.

Vaughn smiled at his mother, "It's your fault mom…"

"Why is that Michael?" Amélie asked.

"You told Sydney to take care of me…she was just listening to instructions…"

Amélie smiled, "I did tell her that yes…and she followed my instructions well then?"

Vaughn smiled, "Yes she did."

Sydney was blushing beyond belief.

Amélie turned to her, "It makes me very happy to know that you make Michael happy…never be embarrassed about that Sydney…"

Sydney nodded, "I'm not embarrassed by anything Vaughn and I do…"

"But there's no need for details," Vaughn reminded Sydney.

She smiled at him and Amélie nodded, "True Michael, very true."

"Well, I'll start making lunch, what do you want?" Sydney asked Vaughn and Amélie.

"Why don't I make lunch…you can clean up…" Amélie suggested.

Sydney smiled, "Good plan…"

Amélie smiled back, "How about chicken nuggets?" she suggested, "I think I saw some in the freezer when Will was trying to conceal all of the junk he bought."

Both Vaughn and Sydney smiled, "Sounds good," Vaughn said and Sydney nodded.

"I'll go clean up then," Sydney said and helped Vaughn sit back on the bed before she left.

Both women went off to do their respective duties and Donovan stayed with his master who was making up for lost time.

"Well boy, I hope you've been taken care of…but I think you have…Will does a good job, doesn't he?"

Donovan barked softly, and Vaughn smiled. He swore the dog understood him sometimes.

Amélie started to prepare the lunch, getting a pan for the oven. She smiled when she thought of her son and Sydney. She was absolutely truthful when she said that she was happy for them; she couldn't have found a better partner for him. They seemed to fit in every way…and anything that made her son's daily struggle easier (within reason of course) had her approval. She put the nuggets on the sheet, arranging them and smiled, thinking of Michael as a boy. He was similar then; so determined, so intelligent, so responsible, so…his father. William Vaughn had passed many things onto his son, but Michael had taken all those things and excelled them beyond limits that William never possessed. He had surpassed his father's ambition, his father's determinism, his father's ethics, his father's decisiveness. Michael had turned William's negative points into enormous successes. His father would have been delightfully pleased. He'd wanted so much for their son, opportunities like every parent wants that they never had, and Michael had worked hard to reach an ideal of what he thought his father would have wanted.

Amélie, lost in thought, began to wonder if she'd ever really told him how proud his father would have been. She made a mental note to be sure to do so. She busied herself getting plates ready and everything else out while the nuggets cooked in the oven.

Sydney smiled when she entered the bathroom, it really did look quite the site. There were pieces of glass and plastic and wax littering a large track of the floor. A careful observer very well might have been able to deduce what happened from the way the debris arced on the floor.

Sydney retrieved the broom and dustpan from the closet and began to sweep the pieces together. Once she had the floor free of debris, she rinsed the tub and picked up towels and washcloths that had been strewn haphazardly after their trysts.

Sydney smiled as she grabbed the dirty laundry and thought about Amélie's way of completely making their sex life a topic of normal discussion. She appreciated the fact that Amélie didn't seem to mind that she and her son engaged in acts of the carnal nature and that she almost encouraged it, almost as if she knew it made her son feel safe.

After she dropped the dirty items into the laundry shoot, she made her way to the kitchen. Amélie was smiling as she took the nuggets out of the oven.

"Hello Sydney, get everything cleaned up in there?"

Sydney smiled back, "Yes, I did…please tell me that smile that you have right now is because you've remembered another story about Michael's childhood."

Amélie chuckled, "You really enjoy those, don't you?"

"Immensely!" Sydney informed her.

Amélie smiled, "Well, I'll have to think of some more, but no, I was just thinking about how much Michael reminds me of his father, yet at the same time, he's surpassed his father in every aspect."

"Surpassed him how?" Sydney asked.

"Life in general…he's more successful, more together, more daring, more confident, more loving than his father was. He's become someone his father would be so proud of. I was just wondering if I'd ever actually told Michael that."

Sydney smiled, "I'm sure he'd love to hear it again, even if you've already told him."

"Yes, I'll remember to tell him later."

Sydney smiled, "Did you need help with anything?"

"No, I think I've got it under control."

Sydney smiled again, "You know, we can save on dishes, just give Vaughn and me one plate…we always wind up eating off of each other's anyway…"

Amélie smiled, "I caught that the other day when you just used one…"

"You did?"

"Yes, I thought about it too before that – the night with the spaghetti. I thought it would have been easier to just have one…"

Sydney was utterly pleased, she wanted desperately to say something that could convey what emotions were warring in her, but she couldn't find the words.

Amélie as usual seemed to pick up on it and changed the subject, "Does Michael still eat chicken with ranch?"

Sydney smiled, "Yes he does…I'll get it out of the fridge."

She took out the ranch and the ketchup as well and placed a generous amount of each on the plate. She put the bottles back in the fridge and turned around again. Amélie was about finished and Sydney approached her, and touched her arm to get her attention.

Amélie turned towards her with a questioning glance.

No words were exchanged. Sydney smiled and then pulled Amélie into a fierce hug. Amélie gasped in surprise and then chuckled sweetly and hugged Sydney back just as fiercely.

"Thank you Amélie…for everything…"

"Thank you for taking care of my son…"

They shared the hug for several minutes, and Amélie let Sydney decide when it should end. She'd been deprived of a mother for so long…they both smiled and picked up the lunch dishes and carried them to the bedroom.


	131. Reading Remedy

**Chapter 131: Reading Remedy **

_"When I am attacked by gloomy thoughts, nothing helps me so much as running to my books. They quickly absorb me and banish the clouds from my mind." – Michel de Montaigne _

"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." – Woody Allen

"The last thing I have to say is that ice is the past tense of water. I've always wanted to write that sentence and now I have." – Rita Mae Brown

"If something anticipated arrives too late it finds us numb, wrung out from waiting, and we feel - nothing at all. The best things arrive on time." – Dorothy Gilman

**

* * *

**

Amélie sat in the chair adjacent to the bed and Sydney sat next to Vaughn as usual. Sydney shooed Donovan off the bed while they ate and he pouted on the floor.

Vaughn smiled, "What's with the one plate? I mean I think it's cool…but you've both done it now…"

Sydney and Amélie shared a smiled, "Well…we usually eat off of one anyway, we both just thought the same thing…we can just share it…"

He smiled, "Cool," he said as he grabbed a nugget and dunked it liberally in the ranch.

Sydney and Amélie both smiled as they watched him, looking like a little boy again.

"I think it's the food," Sydney said after they all had eaten a few bites.

"What?" Vaughn asked.

"The food…" she looked to Amélie, "I think the food brings out the little boy…"

Amélie smiled, "I would agree…although when I look at him, all I see is that little boy…"

Vaughn smiled, "Ok…more little Michael…" he shrugged and happily took another nugget, "That's ok…I'm good…"

They all chuckled while they finished lunch. Sydney and Amélie both took out the dishes after lunch and then came back to Vaughn.

"Do you want me to read to you now Michael?" Amélie asked on her return.

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah…I'd like that…"

"Should we start from where we left off last time?" Amélie asked.

Vaughn chuckled, "Yeah, we're only on page two I think…"

Amélie smiled, "I'll get the book."

Sydney smiled at Vaughn and sat down again with him, "Do you want me to go? Spend some time just with your mom?"

"No, I want you to stay," he said as he grabbed her hand, "I'm sure I'll be asleep in no time anyway…"

She smiled, "You should get some rest before…"

"I could use a nap," he said honestly, and then looked at her, flashing a naughty smile, "You wore me out…"

Sydney smiled, "You complaining?"

"Nope," he said smiling and kissing her.

His mom walked back in a few seconds later and sat down in the chair again.

"Ok…we were just past the first introduction," Amélie began to flip through the pages, "Alright, here we go…"

Vaughn nestled into Sydney's shoulder as he waited for his mother to begin.

Amélie started, "_And, indeed, bad as his clothes were, and coarsely as he spoke, he had none of the appearance of a man who sailed before the mast, but seemed like a mate or skipper, accustomed to be obeyed or to strike. The man who came with the barrow told us the mail had set him down the morning before at the Royal George; that he had inquired what inns there were along the coast, and hearing ours well spoken of, I suppose, and described as lonely, had chosen it from the others for his place of residence. And that was all we could learn of our guest. _

He was a very silent man by custom. All day he hung round the cove, or upon the cliffs, with a brass telescope; all evening he sat in a corner of the parlor next the fire, and drank rum and water very strong. Mostly he would not speak when spoken to; only look up sudden and fierce, and blow through his nose like a fog-horn; and we and the people who came about our house soon learned to let him be. Every day, when he came back from his stroll, he would ask if any seafaring men had gone by along the road. At first we thought it was the want of company of his own kind that made him ask this question; but at last we began to see he was desirous to avoid them. When a seaman put up at the Admiral Benbow (as now and then some did, making by the coast road for Bristol) he would look in at him through the curtained door before he entered the parlor; and he was always sure to be as silent as a mouse when any such was present. For me, at least, there was no secret about the matter; for I was, in a way, a sharer in his alarms.

He had taken me aside one day, and promised me a silver fourpenny on the first of every month if I would only keep my weather-eye open for a seafaring man with one leg,' and let him know the moment he appeared. Often enough, when the first of the month came round, and I applied to him for my wage, he would only blow through his nose at me, and stare me down; but before the week was out he was sure to think better of it, bring me my fourpenny piece, and repeat his orders to look out for the seafaring man with one leg.'

How that personage haunted my dreams, I need scarcely tell you. On stormy nights, when the wind shook the four corners of the house, and the surf roared along the cove and up the cliffs, I would see him in a thousand forms, and with a thousand diabolical expressions. Now the leg would be cut off at the knee, now at the hip; now he was a monstrous kind of a creature who had never had but the one leg, and that in the middle of his body. To see him leap and run and pursue me over hedge and ditch was the worst of nightmares. And altogether I paid pretty dear for my monthly fourpenny piece, in the shape of these abominable fancies."

Amélie stopped and looked at the couple on the bed.

"I'm not asleep yet," Vaughn said with a yawn, "But soon…so keep reading."

Amélie smiled and shared a warm glance with Sydney who was playing with Vaughn's hair.

She went back to her reading, "_But though I was so terrified by the idea of the seafaring man with one leg, I was far less afraid of the captain himself than anybody else who knew him. There were nights when he took a deal more rum and water than his head would carry; and then he would sometimes sit and sing his wicked, old, wild sea-songs, minding nobody; but sometimes he would call for glasses round, and force all the trembling company to listen to his stories or bear a chorus to his singing. Often I have heard the house shaking with Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum;' all the neighbors joining in for dear life, with the fear of death upon them, and each singing louder than the other, to avoid remark. For in these fits he was the most overriding companion ever known; he would slap his hand on the table for silence all round; he would fly up in a passion of anger at a question, or sometimes because none was put, and so he judged the company was not following his story. Nor would he allow anyone to leave the inn till he had drunk himself sleepy and reeled off to bed. _

His stories were what frightened people worst of all. Dreadful stories they were; about hanging, and walking the plank, and storms at sea, and the Dry Tortugas, and wild deeds and places on the Spanish Main. By his own account he must have lived his life among some of the wickedest men that God ever allowed upon the sea; and the language in which he told these stories shocked our plain country people almost as much as the crimes that he described. My father was always saying the inn would be ruined, for people would soon cease coming there to be tyrannized over and put down, and sent shivering to their beds; but I really believe his presence did us good. People were frightened at the time, but on looking back they rather liked it; it was a fine excitement in a quiet country life; and there was even a party of the younger me who pretended to admire him, calling him a true sea-dog,' and a real old salt,' and suchlike names, and saying there was the sort of man that made England terrible at sea."

Amélie glanced over at the couple again. Sydney smiled, "I think he's out," she said quietly.

Amélie smiled and closed the book. She got up and moved towards the couple. She held onto Vaughn as Sydney wormed her way out from beneath him. Sydney then positioned him on the bed. He didn't move a muscle.

"Sydney…what did you do to him? He's beyond relaxed – I think he is in a coma! Look! He's just…out! I guess you took care of him, totally wore him out…" Amélie concluded with a wink.

"How do you know it wasn't your reading?" Sydney asked with a smile as they looked down at the man on the bed for a few moments.

Amélie grinned, "I don't think he'd fall asleep that quickly without…exercise…"

Sydney smiled again, "You're probably right…let's let him sleep…"

Amélie nodded and followed her out.

They sat down on the couch in the living room.

Amélie smiled and looked over at Sydney, "Tell me how you and Michael met…"

Sydney smiled, "THAT is a very long and elaborate story…"

"We have some time," Amélie said.

Sydney took a deep breath, "Ok, I'll start at the beginning. I was a freshman in college when I was approached by a man who said he worked in US intelligence and they were interested in interviewing me. I wasn't particularly happy, I didn't love the classes I was taking and my father and I hadn't spoken in years. I thought my mother was dead, and so I agreed to it. I was led to believe that they were CIA, and eventually learned that I was working for SD-6, which they told me was a division that was funded by the CIA's black budget; operations that are highly classified, even hidden from congressional oversight. They led me to believe that SD-6 was one of these divisions and that that was why they didn't operate through Langley. I became a double agent for the CIA after the man I worked for, the man that took Vaughn, Arvin Sloane, killed my fiancé."

Amélie let out a short gasp.

"Yes, Danny and I had dated for two years, and when he proposed I felt that I had to tell him…I told him what I thought was the truth, that I worked for a black-ops division of the CIA, and I was a spy…SD-6 had surveillance everywhere, and while I was in Taipei on an operation, SD-6 had him killed. After Danny, I refused to return to SD-6, they came after me because they saw it as an act of betrayal, and it was that night that I learned that my father was also an officer with SD-6. And I learned what SD-6 really was: they stole weapons, military secrets, industrial intel, medical tech, computer advances, political agendas, anything that the other guy wanted – anyone that would pay the price – governments, corporations, wealthy citizens, families. It was basically black market organized crime. After they killed Danny and tried to eliminate me, I wanted to destroy SD-6. I won back their confidence and stole an artifact that Sloane wanted. Then I went to the real CIA, where Vaughn was assigned as my handler. And until we finally brought down SD-6, I would have a mission and a counter-mission, and would meet with Vaughn regularly to go over missions and everything. He became the only person I could trust…the only one I could talk to, the only one that really knew what was going on." Sydney stopped and looked at Amélie.

"Did you meet in the fall?" Amélie asked.

Sydney smiled, "Yes…we met October 1st, 2001…"

Amélie smiled at her, "Michael was different at Thanksgiving that year…"

Sydney seemed shocked, "He was?"

"Yes," Amélie assured her.

"How?" Sydney asked, interested.

"Well…there was just something different with him, all he talked about was work…he didn't even mention what's her name that he'd been dating, and I found out later they broke up," Amélie thought a moment, "What was her name, that mousy one…the blonde…"

Sydney cringed, but smiled at the way Amélie described her, "Alice…"

"Yes, that was her…yeah – we were talking and his phone rang, and he always turned it off before he came over…he literally ran out of the room. When I confronted him about it, he just smiled, but I knew something was going on."

Sydney smiled, "You're very perceptive…"

Amélie smiled back, "I was surprised when he started to date her again, he seemed…unhappy, until I managed to wrangle out of him that he was smitten with a woman at work, that woman was you in case you haven't guessed."

Sydney blushed, "Well…let's just say it was a mutual attraction…"

"What are we going to do while Michael has his session?" Amélie asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know…something to get our minds off of it…although that will be impossible…we could shop," Sydney suggested.

Amélie smiled, "I'd like that…"

"Then shop we will," Sydney said with a smile.

They both stopped, hearing Vaughn call Sydney's name. They got up and walked into the room, "What's up honey?" Sydney asked as she sat down on the bed.

"We've only got a few minutes…can you just…sit with me?"

Sydney smiled and moved back to sit on the bed more. Amélie sat in the chair. They all sat in silence, waiting for the moment that they all knew would come, but none of them looked forward to.


	132. The Walls of Jericho

**Chapter 132: The Walls of Jericho **

_"The professional must learn to be moved and touched emotionally, yet at the same time stand back objectively: I've seen a lot of damage done by tea and sympathy." – Anthony Storr _

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he doesn't become a monster." – Friedrich Nietzsche

"Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real  
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface  
Consuming, confusing  
This lack of self control I fear is never ending  
Controlling, I can't seem to find myself again my walls are closing in  
(Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)  
I've felt this way before, so insecure  
Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real  
Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me  
Distracting, reacting  
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection  
It's haunting how I can't seem to find myself again my walls are closing in  
(Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)  
I've felt this way before, so insecure  
Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real  
Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall, confusing, confusing what is real  
(There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming)  
Confusing what is real  
(This lack of self control I fear is never ending, controlling)  
Confusing what is real" – "Crawling" – Linkin Park

"Overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins  
In an hour, I'll be okay  
I pray this pain will go away permanently someday  
I've seen more than  
I should have to  
I've seen this on my own." – Taproot – "Poem"

**

* * *

**

Sydney tried not to have her apprehension cloud her mind, she tried to be confident for Vaughn, but it was rather impossible. Even Amélie's presence did not distract her from what she knew was going to happen.

The bell rang, signaling the inevitable. She kissed Vaughn before she got up and then hauled herself to the door, opening it unenthusiastically.

"Hello Sydney…" Barnett said pleasantly.

"Hi," she said and then added, "forgive me if I'm not social today…I'm just leery…forgive me if I'm rude too…"

Barnett smiled, "I understand…"

"This is really gonna be hard on him…"

"Yes, but it will get better from here…"

Sydney managed a small smile, and then gestured her to the bedroom.

Upon entering, Sydney said, "Dr. Barnett, this is Michael's mother, Amélie Vaughn."

"Hello," Barnett said, extending her hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you…"

"Likewise," Amélie said.

"Hello Michael," Barnett said turning to Vaughn.

"Hi," he said quietly, in his little boy voice.

Normally, Sydney found it attractive, but today he sounded, lost…in need of comfort…solace from his fear.

She moved over to the bed. She sat down and kissed him, "Have a good session today…ok?"

"I don't want you to leave," he said quietly, little boy shining through his eyes.

"I know, but Barnett says it's better this way…for today…you'll be ok…" she said. "I'll have my cell phone…your mom and I are gonna go to the mall for awhile…we'll be back in about an hour…ok? It's only an hour…" she tried to reason, for herself as much as him.

He nodded, looking down.

She smiled, kissed him, and said, "I love you…"

"I love you too…" he said, managing a small smile for her.

"Ok," she said looking to Amélie, her heart ripping out, "Let's go…"

Amélie smiled and approached her son, placing a kiss on the top of his head, "Au revoir Michel, Je t'aime." (Goodbye Michael, I love you).

He smiled, "Moi aussi…" (Me also) he said in reply.

He watched in fear as they walked out of the room.

Sydney made a motion for Barnett to follow her and Barnett complied. Sydney moved to the kitchen, Amélie in tow.

"I just wanted to show you…these are his pain medications if he starts to complain about any pain. He can have everything if it's bad enough, but ideally, we try not to mix them all the time. If it would get bad…he can have two of everything…just make sure he takes it with milk…just rummage," she said motioning to the cupboards. "I'll have my cell phone if you need me…" Sydney added, "Oh!" she said at the last minute before she and Amélie were about to walk out, "there's morphine too…just in case – it's in the syringes on the counter…just give him one shot…"

Barnett smiled, "I think I've got all that…"

Sydney smiled back sadly, not wanting to leave him, but having no choice.

Vaughn had heard faint talking and would have been concerned had he not been so nervous about this session. The last thing he heard before Barnett came back in was the telltale click of the front door closing, sealing his fate.

"You're mother seems very nice Michael…" Barnett started.

"She's great," he said smiling.

"She visiting for awhile?"

"She stayed last night…I'm not sure how long she's staying…"

"How are you doing?"

"Good…"

"That's good Michael."

"Can I ask you why Sydney can't be in the house today?"

"It's better Michael…"

"Why?"

"Don't you think Sydney could use a break?"

Vaughn looked down, "Yeah, I guess so…"

"She spends a lot of time with you…"

Vaughn looked at her, "You know I asked Sydney…I asked her if she got frustrated being here with me…she doesn't…she said that Francie and Will don't feel that way either…she might get a little bit every once and a while…but she doesn't feel that way…she told me she didn't…"

"Michael," she said, keeping her voice calm, "Do you honestly think Sydney would really tell you? That's what she tells you to protect you. What doesn't she say? Think about it…"

He looked at her rigidly, jaw clenching, "She would tell me…" he said forcefully.

"Would she? Would she really Michael? What purpose would it serve for you to know?"

"She's always honest with me…"

"This has nothing to do with honesty…she's protecting you…"

He dropped his gaze, thoughts racing, trying to come up with something to convince Barnett that Sydney did not feel that way. But what if she was right? What if Sydney was just interested in protecting him? Would she really tell him if she was miserable?

"Michael, this whole experience has affected you deeply, but think about Sydney…she's been with your since the beginning, she's seen everything…do you really think that wouldn't affect her?"

"Well…of course it affects her…"

"But how deeply? Don't you think it's deeper than she's leading on?"

"She would tell me!" Vaughn yelled.

"What does she say?"

"She doesn't say anything…she walks out sometimes…"

"So what isn't she saying Michael?"

He just looked over at her, eyes wide.

"Wouldn't you tell her the same thing if things were switched?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if it was Sydney sitting here…what if you were the one taking care of her…"

Vaughn's head dropped, eyes moving, mind racing.

"Wouldn't you protect her if it was her? Wouldn't you tell her you were fine…that you weren't frustrated…"

"I…Sydney would…" Vaughn started, but stopped, trailing off.

"What if the situation was different? How would you deal with knowing Sydney was taken…tortured…"

Vaughn's eyes widened in horror, "What? What do you mean?"

"Well…you know what they did to you…just imagine what they could have done to a beautiful woman like Sydney…"

"Wha…why are you saying that?"

"What would they do? Would it be the same? Would they change it because she's a woman?"

"What…I…"

"Would they rape her?"

Vaughn's mouth dropped open, but he had no words to convey.

"Would they?"

"I…I don't know…" he said confused.

"If they did, would she fight back?"

"What? Of COURSE she would!"

"What if she couldn't fight back? Imagine what that would do to her…being powerless to stop them from raping her again and again…"

"Stop…" Vaughn said as terrible images began to run through his mind.

"Would she blame herself? Would she call out your name? Beg for them to stop, beg for you to help her?"

"No…stop…" Vaughn mumbled as he tried to clear his mind.

"Would she ask why you didn't save her? Why you didn't get there sooner?" she asked in a pleading tone.

Vaughn could feel his anger level rising as he pictured what might have been.

"Did you blame Sydney for not getting to you sooner?"

"No!" he said defensively, "she had no control over that!"

"Didn't she? Would you blame yourself if she was taken?"

"Of course…"

"So don't you think Sydney feels the same way?"

"I…no…I…no she told me…"

"She told you…yes…" she paused, "She'd be broken after they raped her Michael…can you imagine?"

"I don't want to imagine…she's fine…Sydney's fine…" he said reassuring himself.

"What if she wasn't? What if you found her instead, on the floor somewhere…bruised and broken, bleeding…torn apart…naked and violated…"

"Stop!" Vaughn yelled again.

"What if both of you had been captured…" Barnett added after a pause, "Imagine what that would have been like…what if they made you watch…"

Vaughn's eyes turned wildly to Barnett.

"What would you have done? Watching her there…on the floor…struggling…calling your name…begging them to stop, not to make you watch…"

"Stop it…" Vaughn said, tension and anger and a hint of fear and warning all in his voice.

"Making you watch as they raped and beat her…"

Random images flashed before his eyes in random succession…Sydney…cold cement floors...he being held back, helpless as they ravaged her body…

"Do you see their faces Michael? Are they enjoying themselves?"

As much as he didn't want to…he could see his assailants…the ones that had tortured him…their faces wrought with pleasure as they violated Sydney…he – being held back…forced to witness the horrible torment…knowing full well – seeing what they were doing to her.

"Are they laughing? Are they gloating?" she continued slowly, letting him imagine. "Are they enjoying themselves Michael?"

She paused again, and then said, "Do you think Sydney is enjoying it? Is Sloane helping? Participating?"

Vaughn snapped. A deep guttural cry echoed through the room as he launched himself off the bed at Barnett.

He paid no heed to the burning of muscles that were underused, no heed to the fire that erupted in his chest as the oxygen tube ripped off of the tank, no heed to the pain that emanated from his back, no heed to the searing agony that spread through his shoulder as he ripped the sling over his head. He heard nothing, felt nothing but rage, the adrenaline pumping through his veins, spurring him on. Horrible images flashed in and out in irregular succession, all the same, pain, terror, Sydney…

He had no idea how he had moved so quickly, but the next image that would be ingrained in his mind for a very long time were his hands around Barnett's throat. 'Keep squeezing,' that's what his mind was telling him; make all the images go away…

Barnett put up no fight, just letting the whole incident transpire as if it were well planned. She was calm and collected as she said to him evenly, "Do you like the power Michael? Do you feel better knowing that there is nothing I can do to stop you?"

Vaughn let go instantly, recognition flashing in his fiery jade eyes, shaking his head wildly, as if erasing the images and thoughts, everything, from his mind. He dropped his hands and fell back onto the floor, his back hitting the bed with a soft thud.

He buried his face in his hand, cradling his injured shoulder as the adrenaline dissipated, and the feelings started to return.

"I'm sorry," he choked out before pain racked his body.

Barnett approached him slowly, and touched his shoulder. He flinched away from her, but she took a firmer grip on him and helped him sit on the bed.

He groaned as she helped maneuver him back, feeling muscles unbelievably tense and sore all at once. His chest was heavy, but he couldn't determine if that was from injury or fear over what he had just done. He refused to look at Barnett, even though she was close to him, replacing the oxygen and trying to figure out if he was injured severely.

She started calmly, "Michael…"

His eyes flashed as his name registered, but he didn't look at her.

"Michael…I want to explain to you what happened…"

"I think that's fairly obvious," he said wincing and shifting uncomfortably.

"I've made your therapy very intensive…I realize that may seem harsh, but I thought it best. You attacked me because I pushed you. I forced a reaction…one that I'm sure was very scary for you. You're not immune Michael…while you wouldn't have really killed me, your emotions took over…logic had no place a moment ago. I wanted to push you to the brink so that you'll admit to yourself that you're not as well as you make it seem. There is a lot you need to deal with yet Michael…and stubbornness won't get us anywhere…that's why I did this…in a controlled environment."

"I didn't feel very controlled," Vaughn said softly.

"That's the point Michael…you aren't as controlled as you say you are…believe you are…" She noted the way he was shifting on the bed and his slightly elevated breathing pattern, "Do you want me to get your pain medication?"

He nodded.

She left him momentarily to get the pills and some milk, and brought them back to him, deciding that two of the ibuprofen, two of the naproxen, two of the percocet and two of the vicodin were in order. It was a lot of medication, but he seemed to be in enough pain to warrant them all.

He accepted the pills and took them without question.

"What are you feeling right now Michael?" she asked softly as she put the glass on the table.

"I feel like an ass…"

"No…emotions…how about five? Five of your strongest emotions?"

He sighed, wincing; "Fear's a big one at the moment, anger, disgust with myself, disbelief…and relief."

"Why those emotions Michael?" she asked gently.

"Well…fear's rather obvious, I mean…that scared the shit out of me…goes along with disbelief…I can't believe that I would ever get that angry…you know? But in a way – I mean I'm disgusted by what I did, what I'm capable of and angry at myself…but in a way, I'm so relieved…"

"Why?" she prodded.

"Because I didn't lose it around Sydney…I wouldn't want her to see that…and I'm sorry, but I'm glad I didn't try to strangle her…I would…I don't know what I would do if…I don't even want to think about it…"

"I don't take it personally Michael…"

"I'm still sorry…I…"

"It's ok…Sydney would never push you to the level I just did Michael…and, believe me, you're not the first…"

"Other…other people have tried to strangle you?"

She smiled, "Yes, numerous times…it's a job hazard of mine…"

"Wow…that would be why you handled it so calmly…"

"Yes, it would be…Ok…in the future however, if something should make you that angry again…"

"Yeah?" he asked, looking her in the eyes directly for the first since trying to strangle her.

"There are a number of strategies you can try to calm yourself before you 'snap.' Breathing exercises to try to calm yourself work, or thinking about more pleasant things, or relating everything that's happening to you to something that won't make you angry…"

"Ok," he said, filing that bit of information away for further use. He thought a moment, and then asked, "So…all that stuff you said to me about Sydney and Will and Francie…and Tom…that was all…"

"A tool…a mind game…"

"Pushing my buttons…"

"Right," Barnett said with a smile at his perceptiveness, "I was trying to isolate you, bring back certain emotional responses from your experience."

"Why?"

"Because you're attempting to integrate yourself back into life without healing first. I had to get extreme to break you from that…"

"Why?"

"Would you have responded to anything less?" Barnett asked honestly.

Vaughn regarded her a moment and then smiled slightly, "Probably not…"

"You didn't break during torture Michael, you needed to in therapy…does that make sense?"

He nodded.

Sydney and Amélie had been largely silent on the drive to the mall, neither comfortable leaving Vaughn alone, knowing what would take place. In a different situation, Sydney would have tried to be more social, but they both realized and accepted that there was nothing either could do or say to make the anxiety go away.

Sydney parked the car and they largely wandered around aimlessly for the better part of a half hour. They looked in a few stores; yet saw nothing.

Amélie looked at her watch, "Is it too soon to head back?"

Sydney smiled, "Maybe just a few more minutes…why don't we get some coffee…sit down…"

Amélie nodded and they did just that, nervously sipping the steaming coffee, waiting…just waiting…


	133. Shattered Soul

**Chapter 133: Shattered Soul **

_"Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind." – Samuel Taylor Coleridge _

"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame." – Benjamin Franklin

"If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?" – Kahlil Gibran

"Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their carvings." – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

**

* * *

**

Sydney and Amélie left the mall quickly after finishing their coffee. Sydney tried not to speed on their way back to the house, but she was terribly worried about what had taken place in the last hour.

She was at the front door scarcely seconds after she had the car in park.

She opened the door, not even checking to see if Amélie was behind her, but the door closing confirmed that she was in fact right behind her.

The house seemed quiet, eerily so…she walked quickly to the bedroom, the door was open but she hesitated before entering.

She closed her eyes momentarily, feeling Amélie's presence behind her and then moved into the bedroom.

She stopped when she entered; Vaughn was lying on the bed, Barnett was in the chair. They looked largely…normal…but something was off.

Vaughn's eyes met hers and she instantly knew something was wrong. He reacted suddenly, making a move to reach out for her, but he groaned and winced when he tried and landed back on the bed.

She moved immediately to his side, leaning over him as he tried to control the pain, "Vaughn?" she asked.

He looked up at her and tears started to pour out of his eyes as the full weight of what had transpired hit him unexpectedly.

Sydney was terribly confused, having no clue what had happened. She looked helplessly to Barnett for answers but Amélie beat her to it.

"What did you do to my son?" she yelled.

Barnett turned to Amélie quietly, "Michael and I had a very productive session. Things got rather intense…"

Amélie refused to accept that as an answer, "What does that mean? Things got intense? How? Why?"

Barnett kept her tone calm, "Sometimes when patients are resistant to therapy, extreme measures must be taken. I thought this the best route with Michael…"

"Extreme measures? Hasn't he been through enough?" Amélie shouted angrily.

"He reacted as I suspected he would…" Barnett explained.

"He's hurt," Sydney said to no one in particular.

"What did you do to him!?" Amélie screamed.

Barnett regarded her coolly, "I didn't do anything to your son…"

"Well you obviously did something!" Amélie screamed.

Barnett and Amélie continued to go back and forth, Amélie screaming and Barnett answering her calmly. Sydney tried to interject to find out what had actually happened.

For the most part, no one was looking to Vaughn for answers.

He was in pain, he was crying, he was scared and everyone was yelling. He tried to make the voices in the room distinct in his head, but they all ran together, creating just one large bit of chaos and noise.

His crying intensified before he yelled, "STOP IT! STOP IT!! EVERYONE JUST STOP!" The pain medication seemed to do nothing for the pain at that moment; it shot through his body as he overexerted his lungs with the force of his yelling.

It was quite effective however, because the room became utterly silent.

"Shut up! All of you!" he said with tears running down his face. He took a moment to compose himself slightly, looking down, not meeting anyone's eyes.

No one said a word, just waiting for him to continue.

His voice was strained, obviously hoarse from yelling, "Dr. Barnett didn't do anything to me…I did it to myself…"

"What do you mean you did it to yourself?" Amélie said in a voice mixed with anger and confusion, "How did you hurt yourself? Why didn't you stop him?" Amélie yelled again at Barnett.

"I stopped him when he needed to be stopped…" Barnett responded calmly.

"What the hell is going on? We leave you and he's hurt when we come back?"

"I didn't hurt him, he's in pain right now because of what transpired…"

"Damnit! I want a straight answer!" Amélie yelled.

"Stop it mom!" Vaughn yelled back at his mother, meeting her gaze.

Amélie stopped abruptly, looking into her son's eyes, shocked that he had yelled at her, but the look in his eyes was what scared her more.

Sydney looked between mother and son and then to Barnett. Barnett shared a glance with her but said nothing.

"Michael…" Amélie said in a soft, startled voice.

"Barnett didn't do anything to me," he said in that same strained voice, his throat seeming to constrict more and more by the minute. He finally looked up at Sydney again, the tracks from his tears still evident as a few trailed silently down.

The look in his eyes scared her, because he looked terrified; more terrified than she had seen him. The look reminded her of how he looked in the hospital those first few days.

"What happened Vaughn?" Sydney asked him calmly, her voice low and steady.

He started to cry again when she asked him, "I…I…" he broke off, and Sydney moved closer, keeping her body in contact with his, trying to encourage him to get it out. She looked to Barnett, but she shook her head in a negative manner to indicate that this was something Vaughn needed to admit for himself.

Sydney was patient, waiting for him to calm. He took a raspy deep breath and tried to get his body to stop from shaking, "I attacked Barnett," he said flatly and hastily.

Sydney's eyes got wide and when Vaughn looked up at her, he started to cry again.

She looked over at Barnett, "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine…that's what I thought would happen…it's happened many times before…I pushed him to that level…he'll be ok…"

Sydney looked back at the sobbing man on the bed. "Hey," she said, waiting for him to look at her, but he wouldn't meet her gaze again.

She tilted his chin up and his resolve crumbled, his body falling into her arms for comfort.

She grabbed him and eased him back, letting him rest on the bed, but staying close to him.

She looked over at Barnett, who smiled warmly.

"I gave him his medications…all of them…he had them about fifteen minutes ago. He's just very emotional right now. We've talked about it, and I'm fine. What he needs right now is rest and calm…not people screaming around him…"

"Vaughn, honey," Sydney started, "Can you tell me where you're hurt?"

She waited a few moments, but after a few she could see it was fruitless to ask him at that particular moment. She looked helplessly at Barnett, "Do you know where he got hurt?"

Barnett smiled, "Well, he ripped that sling off, so I'm sure his shoulder is sore…and I'd gather by the sounds of his breathing…there's a little overexertion…"

Sydney nodded, "Ok…is there anything else?"

"No, I don't think so…he needs to process…I'll call you to check in, talk to Michael, alright?"

"Ok, thank you Dr. Barnett," Sydney said quietly, "If you don't mind, I'm gonna stay with him, you can let yourself out."

"Of course," Barnett said warmly. She moved towards Michael and laid her hand on his shoulder.

Sydney was surprised to see that he didn't flinch at all by her touch and he met her gaze.

"Michael, you rest…we'll talk more later, ok? I'll call…"

He nodded, fresh tears sprung to his eyes, "I'm sorry…"

"No, Michael, we already talked about this…"

He nodded and seemed to calm slightly.

Barnett smiled and gave Sydney's shoulder a squeeze, "You'll be ok…so will he…"

She walked out the door and Amélie followed her.

She opened the door and regarded Barnett for a moment.

"I'm a professional Mrs. Vaughn…I'm completely capable of handling situations such as your son's. I have nothing but confidence in his complete recovery. I understand that what occurred scared you, but I want you to know that it's a normal reaction."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Amélie admitted.

"Don't be…it's alright, won't be the last, and it certainly wasn't the first…" Barnett offered her a warm smile and turned, "Michael's in good hands all the way around Mrs. Vaughn…"

Amélie smiled and shut the door. She stood a moment with her back against the door, thinking about the last hour. Michael had completely broken…her son was broken…she cried silently, her little boy doing the same in the next room.

As soon as everyone else left the room, Sydney laid down beside Vaughn, pulling him into her arms. She tried to be careful, not knowing the extent of his injury; but he was clinging to her so tightly, she doubted he'd notice.

"Vaughn…can you do something for me?" she asked quietly.

His crying had reduced slightly while wrapped in the safe haven of Sydney's arms, and he was trying valiantly to calm down, but his breath kept hitching and catching, his lungs heaving at all the exercise they'd just received.

He attempted to stop himself somewhat though and he managed to at least seem to be listening, although he wouldn't look her in the eyes.

"Vaughn, I need you to tell me where you're hurt so I know if I should call Tom…"

His voice was barely above a whisper, the overexertion catching up with his wounded body, "Shoulder…ribs…chest…" he got out.

She regarded him carefully, trying to determine just how badly he'd been injured, "Should I call Tom?"

He pinched his eyes closed momentarily as a wave of pain shot through him, "Yeah," he gasped out.

She bolted off the bed and launched herself at the phone. She hit the speed dial number for Tom and tapped her foot nervously as she waited for him to answer.

"Hello?" a voice that was certainly not Tom's answered the phone, very out of breath.

Sydney stopped at the voice, "Um…hello?"

"Yes?"

Sydney looked at the phone, thinking maybe she hit the wrong speed dial, but the number she punched was for Dr. Thomas Barker, "Um…Is Tom there?"

"He's in the shower," the voice said.

"Is this Kaia?"

"Um…yeah…who's this?"

"This is Sydney Bristow…I really need to talk to Tom…can you get him out of the shower?"

"Mike's Sydney?"

Sydney smiled, "Yes."

"Hang on, I'll get him."

Kaia walked back into the bathroom, "Tom?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Sydney's on the phone…sounds really upset…"

Tom turned the faucet off immediately and threw the shower curtain back as he hastily wrapped a towel around himself, "Sydney? What happened?"

"Tom…I'm sorry to interrupt…but…Vaughn's hurt, I'm not sure how bad."

"Don't worry about that and hurt how?" Tom asked.

"The session went as Barnett planned it…Vaughn attacked her, he hurt himself while doing that…"

"He did what?"

"I'll explain when you get here. Can you get here soon?"

"Yeah, I'll be right there, just sit tight."

"Ok, thanks Tom."

"Bye," Tom said turning the phone off and hurriedly rushing out of the bathroom and grabbing some clothes.

"Tom, what's going on? Mike is hurt?"

"Yeah, I gotta go over there…"

"I'll go with you," Kaia said, throwing some clothes on as well.

Tom stopped for a moment and looked at her. He pulled her over to him, "Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, "Let's go, I'll drive, we'll get there faster."

Tom smiled, "Yeah, we need to get there alive baby."

Kaia flashed him a sexy grin, God he loved this woman. She got in the driver's seat and buckled her seatbelt.

"What happened to Mike?"

"Therapy went as expected, Sydney said, sorry you have to meet them this way, that's not how I wanted this."

"What better way to meet them Tom?"

He smiled, and kissed her as she peeled off down the road, heading towards his injured friend.


	134. Rescue Rangers

**Chapter 134: Rescue Rangers **

_"To take something from yourself, to give to another, that is humane and gentle and never takes away as much comfort as it brings again." – Thomas More _

"Perhaps one day this too will be pleasant to remember." – Virgil

"Pain is important; how we evade it, how we succumb to it, how we deal with it, how we transcend it." – Audre Lorde

"The chief cause of stress is reality." – Lily Tomlin

**

* * *

**

Sydney moved back to Vaughn the instant she hung up with Tom, "Hey, Tom's on his way…just hang on…" she rubbed soothing circles on his back as she told him.

His crying had lessened to the point that he was breathing rather steadily again, but his breathing was still off…still strained.

He let out a pained sigh.

"You wanna talk honey?" Sydney asked quietly as she moved to face him.

He met her gaze finally, a haunted look in his eyes, "I attacked Barnett Sydney…"

She cupped his cheek, "I know baby…" She watched him for a few seconds, wondering what might be going through his mind, "I love you Michael," she said.

He looked at her again and tears were on the verge of springing, "Why?"

She hugged him close to her, "I told you no matter what happened, I'd be here and I'd love you…I love you honey, nothing can change that…Barnett pushed that response…it wasn't your fault."

"I lost control Sydney…completely."

"I know…what did that feel like?"

"Terrifying…"

She smiled, "You're ok honey…"

"I…I…was so angry…"

The front door briskly opening pulled them out of their conversation as Vaughn jumped slightly at the sudden noise. It was a good thing that Amélie had moved to the couch, otherwise when the doctors arrived; they would have slammed the door right into her.

However, the two did manage to scare the living shit out of Amélie when they burst through the door.

Tom offered an apologetic smile, "Hi Amélie, this is Kaia."

"Hi," Kaia said as they rushed past her to the bedroom.

Sydney was lying with Vaughn and Tom gave her an empathetic look when he saw the couple.

"Hey Mike," he said softly.

Sydney smiled as Kaia walked into the room right behind Tom, surveying the scene with well-trained eyes.

"I've got someone I'd like you to meet Mike," he added as he helped Sydney turn Vaughn, maneuvering his limp form so they could examine him.

Tom's brow furrowed when he saw how tired Vaughn looked, but he put on a smile, "Mike, this is Kaia…Kaia, this is Mike…sorry you couldn't meet under better circumstances, but she wanted to come along…"

"Hi," Kaia said as they gently maneuvered Vaughn so he would be more comfortable.

"Hey," he said weakly.

Tom smiled, "Ok…what happened?"

Vaughn groaned and looked to Sydney to tell them.

"He attacked Barnett. From what I can gather, he pretty much launched himself off the bed and ripped the arm out of the sling…that's pretty much it."

"Is that what happened?" Tom asked Vaughn in a soothing tone.

Vaughn nodded.

"Ok, so…" Tom started.

"The sling is broken Tom," Kaia pointed out.

Tom looked up at Sydney and then back down to Vaughn, "Did you rip the sling?" he asked.

Vaughn nodded again.

"Ok…" he turned to Kaia, "Do we have another sling in the car?"

"I think so, I'll get it." She ran off quickly, passing Amélie on her out the door.

On her way back in, she took a look at the woman on the couch. She didn't know her at all, but she looked upset, almost like in a daze. She moved to the front of the couch, "I'm Kaia…I'm Tom's girlfriend…Are you alright?" Kaia asked quietly.

Amélie looked up at her, "Um…I…yes…I'm just trying to wrap my mind around all that's happened today."

"Understandable," Kaia said with a soft smile. "Do you want to come in and see how Michael is doing?"

Amélie nodded and followed her into the room.

The entered just as Tom was prodding at Vaughn's shoulder, feeling on the joint for damage.

"K – shoulder…what else Mike?"

"Ribs n' chest," he said weakly.

"Ok," Tom said as she gently unbuttoned Vaughn's shirt. Kaia moved to his side as he was starting to examine his ribs and placed the sling on the bed. He smiled at her and then went back to concentrating on Vaughn's ribs.

Vaughn let out a string of groans as Tom worked his hands over the whole rib area. He nodded frustratingly and turned to Kaia, "Your hands are smaller, tell me if you think this is broken…" he said taking her hand and placing it on the rib he needed her to examine.

She felt for a moment, "No…just bruised, no fracture."

"K, good…" Tom then moved to his chest, "Ok…what about your chest…are you having chest pains? Or did you just overexert?"

"Think it was over…" he broke off.

He brought the heal of his hand to Vaughn's chest and pressed lightly, "Tell me if I hurt you…"

Vaughn lay motionless as Tom worked his hand over his chest.

"No pain?" he asked when he was done.

"Just…out of breath…" Vaughn told him, "Can't catch…" he tried to tell him, but wound up coughing.

"Easy," Tom said, "Kaia, help me sit him up, I wanna check one more thing."

Kaia moved to the other side of the bed and they eased Vaughn into a sitting position. He groaned at the movement, his body tired and his mind exhausted beyond belief.

"Just another minute Mike…" Tom assured him. He pulled his stethoscope off of his neck and listened to Vaughn's breathing from the back, "Can you take a deep breath?"

Vaughn tried to accommodate but wound up coughing again.

"K, that's ok…don't try again," Tom instructed.

He leaned over to the oxygen tank and turned it up and then came back to Vaughn. He stayed in front of him while Kaia supported him from the back, "K…try now…"

Vaughn inhaled and coughed slightly, but the exhale was much cleaner than the rest had been.

"There…better?"

Vaughn nodded.

"K, just the shoulder then…we need to get it back in the sling…" Tom told him as he gently eased it into the cradle of the sling. Kaia took the strap and she and Tom eased it over his head and into place.

"He didn't pop it back out then?" Sydney inquired.

"No, just strained it…why don't you get some ice though…it'll help with the pain."

"Ok," Sydney agreed and went out to get it, brushing past Amélie who had stayed a distance away from the bed, observing the whole scene in her still dazed form.

Tom and Kaia eased Vaughn back down trying to make him as comfortable as possible.

Sydney came back in moments later, with an ice pack and handed it to Tom who placed it on Vaughn's shoulder.

Kaia moved back to Tom's side as Sydney took her place next to Vaughn. He leaned into her, wanting nothing more than to sleep for about ten years.

Tom smiled, "I think he'll be fine…just overexertion…he just needs to rest…keep the ice on as long as it helps, you can up his meds for a while if the pain is bad…and as always you can call if you need something."

Sydney smiled, "I'm really sorry we didn't get to actually meet in that 'get to know you sense of the word.'"

"Another time," Kaia said with a smile.

"I upped his oxygen too…you can turn it down again when he doesn't need that much, but you already know how to do that…" Tom said with a smile.

Something shiny flashed suddenly in the light and caught Sydney's eye. "Tom…"

"Yeah?" he said.

"What is that shiny thing on Kaia's left hand, ring finger?"

Vaughn's head picked up and looked over at Tom and Kaia.

Tom blushed, "That would be an engagement ring…"

"Get over here!" Sydney demanded, making a wild hand motion for Kaia to come closer. She put out her hand and Sydney examined the ring. It was at least a three carat diamond, princess cut, set regally upon a platinum band, surrounded by two larger rubies on either side with two smaller rubies outside the larger ones.

"Damn Tom…" Sydney remarked, "Quite the ring there…"

"Congratulations," Vaughn said in a weary voice.

Tom smiled, "We can celebrate later, you just get better, k?"

He nodded.

"Ok, we're gonna go…you get some rest."

"It was nice to meet you Kaia," Sydney said.

"You too," she remarked with a smile.

Tom grabbed her hand as they started to walk out, "Nice to see you again Amélie," Tom said.

"Nice to meet you too," Kaia sad as they moved past her.

Amélie smiled slightly and nodded to them as they walked out, but then her attention was drawn back to the couple on the bed.

She watched them for a few minutes, watched as her son's head dropped back onto Sydney's shoulder, and as Sydney's arms enveloped him in a warm embrace, and then she walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

She sat down in the living room again, on the couch; in the same spot she had vacated moments earlier. The house was silent, peaceful, so much different than it had been for the larger part of this afternoon.

She stared straight ahead at the fireplace and tears started to fall. People that she didn't know at all had taken her son from her and broken his spirit, had caused an undue amount of pain to him and the people who loved him. These nameless, faceless people haunted her dreams and thoughts, made her afraid…not afraid for herself, but afraid that she really had no control…she couldn't protect her son anymore, perhaps she never could. When it came down to the bottom line, he had to live life for himself, and she couldn't shelter him…not from life itself…


	135. Picking up the Pieces

**Chapter 135: Picking up the Pieces **

_"Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are -- chaff and grain together -- certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." – Dinah Mulock _

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what  
I'm gonna do when I get there  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
Spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace  
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't want to speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
'Cause I want nothing more than to  
Sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing  
Is where I want to be, yeah...  
Where I wanna be...  
I am looking past the shadows  
Of my mind into the truth and  
I'm trying to identify  
The voices in my head  
God, which one is you  
Let me feel one more time  
What it feels like to feel alive  
And break these calluses off of me  
One more time  
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't want to speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit  
Outside your door and listen to you breathing  
Is where I want to be, yeah...  
I don't want a thing from you  
Bet you're tired of me, waiting  
For the scraps to fall  
Off of your table to the ground  
La Da Da La Da Da Da Da Da  
'Cause I just want to be here now  
'Cause I am hanging on every word you're sayin'  
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight, that's alright, alright with me  
'Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside Heaven's door  
And listen to you breathing  
It's where I wanna be, yeah...(x2)  
Where I wanna be...  
Where I wanna be..." – "Breathing" – Lifehouse

* * *

Sydney held onto Vaughn, gently rocking him, running her hand in his hair and adjusting the ice pack on his shoulder ever so often. His head was nested in the nape of her neck, his breath still slightly labored. She could tell he was exhausted and she needed him to talk to her, but he also needed to calm down. She settled for just sitting with him for a while. 

He nested his head into her more, and she moved her head to look down at him. "Are you ok?"

He nodded but he didn't move at all.

"Do you want to talk?"

He shook his head no, and she let him have the space…she smiled suddenly when she realized the irony of that thought, she was giving him space mentally while there wasn't a whole lot of physical space between them.

She leaned back into the bed and let the silence permeate the room, hoping it would give Vaughn the time and calm he needed and soothe his afflicted mind.

Amélie was still on the couch, her tears somewhat dissipated when the front door opened and Will and Francie walked in. They were talking and smiling when then entered and didn't see her at first.

Finally Will seemed to notice the utter lack of noise in the house, and his eyes came to rest on Amélie.

"Amélie? Are you ok?" he asked worriedly, as he moved towards the couch. When he saw her tear-stained cheeks he leaned down in front of her, "Oh God…what happened? Did they take him back to the hospital?" Will asked, fearing the worst.

Amélie shook her head as Francie joined Will in front of her, "No…they're in the bedroom…"

Will waited for more of an answer, but Amélie didn't provide one.

He stood up and looked to Francie, gesturing for them to go towards the bedroom.

When they were on the way, he grabbed her elbow and whispered, "What the hell's going on?"

Francie shrugged, "I don't know…we'll have to see…"

They both stopped in front of the door and shared a worried glance before Francie knocked quietly.

Sydney's soft voice answered, "Yeah…come in…"

Francie tentatively pushed the door open and she and Will peeked their heads inside.

Sydney offered the pair a soft smile, "Hey…" she said in an equally soft tone.

"Hi," Francie said quietly, stepping in the bedroom, Will right behind her. He didn't say anything, but he smiled back at her before his brow furrowed when his eyes caught the form in Sydney's arms.

He looked sideways at Francie and she was looking at him as well.

"What…" he started, but saw the look that Sydney gave him and stopped. He switched gears, "Rough day…I was thinking maybe we should order in…"

Francie smiled at Will's not-so-subtle subject shift.

Sydney dropped her gaze down to Vaughn and asked quietly, "Are you hungry?"

He shook his head no and she looked back up at her friends, "I think we're good…you guys go ahead though…"

Francie took the hint, "Ok…we'll check up on you guys later," she said smiling and grabbing Will's arm.

Francie smiled her understanding and pulled Will out with her, shutting the door on their way out.

"What was that? We still don't know what happened!" Will said in a hushed shout.

"It's obvious that something bad happened…I don't think he needed to have it rehashed for us at the moment."

Will sighed frustratingly, "Well maybe there's something we can do…"

Francie shook her head, "I think Sydney's taking care of that…"

"So what do we do?" Will asked.

Francie glanced to the living room, "Let's give Sydney and Michael some space…and get his mother out of here for a while…she looks like she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown herself…maybe she'll tell us more later…"

"Should we take her out to eat?"

"Yeah, why don't we go to the restaurant, we can take the back table, quieter…"

Will nodded, "Let's tell Sydney we're going."

Francie nodded and they opened the door quietly again. Sydney looked over at the door, neither had moved, "We're just going out for a bite to eat…we'll be back later… Amélie says goodbye," Francie added for their benefit.

Sydney smiled, "Ok…" and mouthed 'thank you' to the couple.

They both smiled and closed the door once again.

Then they turned and walked to the living room, stopping in front of Amélie.

Will hunkered down and grabbed her hand, pulling slightly, "Come on…"

She looked at him strangely, "Where are we going?"

"Out to eat," Will said with a smile, "Francie's restaurant…you've never been there…'bout time…"

Francie smiled, "I'll make you whatever you want."

Amélie smiled, "I really don't want to leave Michael again…"

"Michael is in good hands, Amélie," Francie reminded her.

"I know that…" Amélie started, "That doesn't lessen my role as his mother…"

Will smiled, "Mom's gotta eat…come on…I think Mike and Syd need some room…"

Amélie sighed, "Alright…let me just go say goodbye…"

Will pulled her up, "We told them…" He tugged on her hand and she relented, smiling.

"You're a very charming boy," she said with a smile.

Will looked at Francie, "Did you hear that? I'm charming…"

Francie rolled her eyes, "Amélie, we need to talk about Will's ego…"

Sydney waited until she heard the door close. She knew that they would have at least a little time alone.

She adjusted the ice pack on his shoulder and ran her hand absently through his hair again.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Ok…can I get you anything? Water?"

He shook his head no.

"Vaughn?"

He didn't reply vocally, but he tilted his head slightly so she knew he was listening.

"I don't want to push you…if you're not ready…or you don't want to tell me, it's ok…but…can I ask what Barnett did or said to make you…snap?"

He shuddered slightly, and she tightened her grip.

For a few minutes, all was silence again, and she thought that he had decided not to tell her, or that he wasn't ready, so she just held onto him.

She felt him shift slightly and grunt as overused muscles raged in anger against him.

"Vaughn…you ok? Do you need more medication?"

"It terrified me…" he said abruptly.

"The snapping?"

"Yeah," he said quietly, "but…"

She waited for him to continue and didn't press when it took him several minutes to do so.

"It…I felt…relieved after…"

"Why?" she asked gently.

"Because…I didn't lose it with you…I didn't hurt you…I feel guilty enough that it was Barnett…but Sydney…if I would have…" he stopped, shaking slightly, "I'd…"

She soothed him, "No…sweetie, I know you'd never hurt me…it's ok…Barnett, she pushed you…"

"But I let her…I let her push me…I let her get me to that point…"

"Vaughn…" Sydney started.

"I've realized," he said, stopping her, "I…I thought…I guess I thought I was ok…but, I'm not…I'm not sure why I thought I was…I guess I hoped that I could just move past it, shove it aside, ignore what happened and get back to normal that way…but…I mean, I can't will it away…even if I have you…I can't make it go away because I want it too…it's not that simple…"

Sydney was shocked by his admission, "Vaughn, I knew it wasn't going to be easy for you…and I thought maybe you just needed time…compartmentalizing too much isn't a good thing, I should know – and that can break you just as easily…I think…even though it was a scary experience, I think it was…I think it was productive…"

"Now I know…"

"You do…but it'll be normal again honey…it's getting there now…you just have things you have to do, things you need to say, think about…"

She stopped, letting him think again in silence, playing with the hairs at the hairline on the back of his head.

"I think I thought that if I didn't talk about it, it would go away…that I wouldn't think about it anymore if I didn't say it…"

"I can see where you'd think that…what do you think now?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore than I did before…but I…keeping it all in…it's not gonna make me any better…I'm just…gonna get stuck…"

"Stuck?"

"I'll never get out of this mind frame…I won't ever be me again…they'll be a part of me that will still be there…lost in those weeks I…I don't want to stay there Sydney…I can't stay there and be sane…"

She moved them down on the bed slightly, hugging him closer, "I won't let you do that either…I want you here…all of you…I'm not gonna let any part of you stay there…ok?"

He closed his eyes and buried his head in her neck, "Thank you…but I've got to do it…I have to get myself out…"

"You don't have to do it alone…" she reminded him, pressing her lips against his forehead.

"I don't wanna be broken anymore Sydney…" he said as a few tears escaped.

She whispered soothing words and ran her hand up and down the length of his back, "You're not broken Vaughn…you're just…whatever pieces you think you've left behind…I'll help you pick them up…ok?"

He picked up his head, "What if there are a lot of pieces?"

She smiled, "No matter how many pieces there are…I'll be there…"

He offered her a soft smile, the first since she'd left him with Barnett before the session.

That made her feel slightly better; the man she loved was hurting, in more than one kind of way…and she wanted to desperately to help him…and she saw that soft and small smile as a sign that perhaps she had helped…even just a little bit.

His soul had been weathered by his ordeal and she would help him pick up the battered pieces if that was what he required. In truth, she would have done anything, and she knew that they shared that common bond.

She wanted him to talk to her more, but she could see the toll the day had taken on him. It was a good thing he didn't have to stand, because she was sure he would have collapsed. She wrapped him in her arms closely, watching as his eyes started to flutter as the fatigue set in. He fell asleep quickly, his full body weight leaning on her. She stayed awake, protecting him, perhaps somewhat foolishly, but she felt the need to stand watch, to be his guardian angel for a change…

About halfway to the restaurant, Will couldn't handle the silence anymore and turned the radio on. He really didn't care what was playing; he just needed some kind of noise. It had been so silent in the house, so silent in the bedroom, so silent in the car; he couldn't take any more silence. He had to drown out the silence with something.

Francie looked over at him when he turned on the radio, but she didn't question him.

Amélie sat in the backseat, silent…staring out the window, lost in thought as the buildings and colors flashed past.

He pulled into the parking lot and got the two ladies' doors, and they walked in where they were greeted cordially by Francie's waitstaff.

"Francie…we thought you'd gone home for the night," Paul said as he saw her walk in the front door.

"Well, yeah…but we needed a bite to eat, and Amélie has never frequented our fine cuisine…"

"Ah, well…you're in for a great treat then," Paul said as he gestured to a table in back.

Amélie smiled politely, but any fool could tell that she was not really interested in anything Paul had to say.

The three sat and Sarah, their waitress, came over to the table to take their order.

"What can I– Francie!"

"Yes Sarah, I think you know what both Will and I are having…"

"Sure do, Lobster, roasted red potatoes, asparagus..."

"Yes, and Amélie, what would you like?"

"I'll just have a bowl of the Bouillabaisse."

"Good choice," Sarah said, "Francie's specialty."

Sarah smiled and walked off, leaving the three at the table. Will looked at Francie and she looked at him before they both looked to Amélie.

"So…what happened to Mike," Will asked.

Francie threw him a 'way to ease into it glance,' but he just looked at Amélie, waiting for a response.

Amélie looked up at them, "He…therapy…" she stopped, "Barnett…" she stopped again, shaking her head.

Will and Francie waited patiently for her to continue but she just concentrated on the pale green tablecloth.

"Amélie?" Will asked after he and Francie had exchanged worried glances for several minutes.

Her head rose and she looked at Will. It struck him how that look reminded him of Michael. "Are you ok?" he asked.

"No…I don't think so…I've seen his injuries, the bruises, the cuts, that infected wound," she said with a shudder, "but I guess I've never really thought about the mental, the psychological side of what all of this has done to Michael." She paused, "I wasn't ready for what Dr. Barnett did today…even though Sydney warned me, told me what she was going to do…it didn't sink in." Amélie looked up at the pair, "She broke my son today."

"Do you know how?" Francie asked gently.

"Not specifics…just that she pushed him to the breaking point and he did. I can only imagine rage like that would be the result of something about Sydney."

"Rage?" Will asked, "What kind of rage?"

Amélie looked at Will, "Michael attacked Dr. Barnett today."

"Attacked?!" Both Will and Francie exclaimed at the same moment. The next string of words that each uttered were muddled by both of them trying to talk at once. "Attacked how?" "Did he hurt her?" "Did Michael get hurt?" "What did she say?" "Why would he do that?" "He seems so controlled." "Must have been quite the extreme…"

Amélie waited patiently until both seemed to realize that she wasn't answering their flurry of questions.

"Sorry," Will said as he noticed.

"We just…sorry," Francie repeated.

Amélie offered them a knowing smile, "I reacted largely the same way…I wasn't very nice to Dr. Barnett."

"Amélie, why did Michael attack Barnett? I still don't understand…" Francie said.

"Like I said, I don't know specifics…but she's ok…she talked him down and yes, he hurt himself, but Tom came over and he'll be ok as well…"

"Wow," was Will's response after he sat for a few minutes in silence.

"What a day," Francie added.

Amélie nodded, "Indeed."

They all sat in a dazed sort of vacuum until the food arrived. Will and Francie started but Amélie only took a few spoonfuls before she put her spoon back next to the bowl.

Will looked over at Francie while he chewed, and she gave him a sideways glance, but they largely just gave her the time and quiet that she needed to sort things out.

In truth, they didn't eat as much at they normally did; too caught up in the torrent of emotions and events that had taken place.

Francie and Will thanked the staff and they walked tiredly towards the car with Amélie in tow a few steps behind them. The ride home was much like the rest of the evening had been; silence permeating. Will didn't turn the radio on this time…

When they got into the driveway and looked towards the house, it was dark. Francie was the first to the front door and she pushed it open gently, trying to be as quiet as possible.

They tiptoed down the hallway and then all stopped in front of the closed door. "Should we check on them?" Francie asked in a whisper.

"Um…I don't think we need to…" Will said.

They both looked to Amélie, "Leave them be…I'm sure they're sleeping…it's been an exhausting day."

With that she smiled and bid them goodnight, walking wearily back to the spare room.

Will and Francie spent another minute in front of the door before turning and doing the same.

Will wrapped his arm around Francie's waist and she reciprocated the gesture. He leaned over and kissed her cheek and she smiled, walking slowly towards their bedroom, leaning on each other. They closed the door quietly and succumbed to sleep with the rest of the household.

The house was dark and silent, save for the one light that Sydney always left on in the bedroom. The early chaos of the afternoon and evening and the unsettling silence of unresolved issues gave way to a more peaceful reconciliation in the recesses of sleep…

**Chapter 135: Picking up the Pieces **

_"Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are -- chaff and grain together -- certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." – Dinah Mulock _

"I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
Though I don't really know what  
I'm gonna do when I get there  
Take a breath and hold on tight  
Spin around one more time  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace  
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't want to speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
'Cause I want nothing more than to  
Sit outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing  
Is where I want to be, yeah...  
Where I wanna be...  
I am looking past the shadows  
Of my mind into the truth and  
I'm trying to identify  
The voices in my head  
God, which one is you  
Let me feel one more time  
What it feels like to feel alive  
And break these calluses off of me  
One more time  
'Cause I am hanging on every word you say  
And even if you don't want to speak tonight  
That's alright, alright with me  
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit  
Outside your door and listen to you breathing  
Is where I want to be, yeah...  
I don't want a thing from you  
Bet you're tired of me, waiting  
For the scraps to fall  
Off of your table to the ground  
La Da Da La Da Da Da Da Da  
'Cause I just want to be here now  
'Cause I am hanging on every word you're sayin'  
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight, that's alright, alright with me  
'Cause I want nothing more  
Than to sit outside Heaven's door  
And listen to you breathing  
It's where I wanna be, yeah...(x2)  
Where I wanna be...  
Where I wanna be..." – "Breathing" – Lifehouse

Sydney held onto Vaughn, gently rocking him, running her hand in his hair and adjusting the ice pack on his shoulder ever so often. His head was nested in the nape of her neck, his breath still slightly labored. She could tell he was exhausted and she needed him to talk to her, but he also needed to calm down. She settled for just sitting with him for a while.

He nested his head into her more, and she moved her head to look down at him. "Are you ok?"

He nodded but he didn't move at all.

"Do you want to talk?"

He shook his head no, and she let him have the space…she smiled suddenly when she realized the irony of that thought, she was giving him space mentally while there wasn't a whole lot of physical space between them.

She leaned back into the bed and let the silence permeate the room, hoping it would give Vaughn the time and calm he needed and soothe his afflicted mind.

Amélie was still on the couch, her tears somewhat dissipated when the front door opened and Will and Francie walked in. They were talking and smiling when then entered and didn't see her at first.

Finally Will seemed to notice the utter lack of noise in the house, and his eyes came to rest on Amélie.

"Amélie? Are you ok?" he asked worriedly, as he moved towards the couch. When he saw her tear-stained cheeks he leaned down in front of her, "Oh God…what happened? Did they take him back to the hospital?" Will asked, fearing the worst.

Amélie shook her head as Francie joined Will in front of her, "No…they're in the bedroom…"

Will waited for more of an answer, but Amélie didn't provide one.

He stood up and looked to Francie, gesturing for them to go towards the bedroom.

When they were on the way, he grabbed her elbow and whispered, "What the hell's going on?"

Francie shrugged, "I don't know…we'll have to see…"

They both stopped in front of the door and shared a worried glance before Francie knocked quietly.

Sydney's soft voice answered, "Yeah…come in…"

Francie tentatively pushed the door open and she and Will peeked their heads inside.

Sydney offered the pair a soft smile, "Hey…" she said in an equally soft tone.

"Hi," Francie said quietly, stepping in the bedroom, Will right behind her. He didn't say anything, but he smiled back at her before his brow furrowed when his eyes caught the form in Sydney's arms.

He looked sideways at Francie and she was looking at him as well.

"What…" he started, but saw the look that Sydney gave him and stopped. He switched gears, "Rough day…I was thinking maybe we should order in…"

Francie smiled at Will's not-so-subtle subject shift.

Sydney dropped her gaze down to Vaughn and asked quietly, "Are you hungry?"

He shook his head no and she looked back up at her friends, "I think we're good…you guys go ahead though…"

Francie took the hint, "Ok…we'll check up on you guys later," she said smiling and grabbing Will's arm.

Francie smiled her understanding and pulled Will out with her, shutting the door on their way out.

"What was that? We still don't know what happened!" Will said in a hushed shout.

"It's obvious that something bad happened…I don't think he needed to have it rehashed for us at the moment."

Will sighed frustratingly, "Well maybe there's something we can do…"

Francie shook her head, "I think Sydney's taking care of that…"

"So what do we do?" Will asked.

Francie glanced to the living room, "Let's give Sydney and Michael some space…and get his mother out of here for a while…she looks like she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown herself…maybe she'll tell us more later…"

"Should we take her out to eat?"

"Yeah, why don't we go to the restaurant, we can take the back table, quieter…"

Will nodded, "Let's tell Sydney we're going."

Francie nodded and they opened the door quietly again. Sydney looked over at the door, neither had moved, "We're just going out for a bite to eat…we'll be back later… Amélie says goodbye," Francie added for their benefit.

Sydney smiled, "Ok…" and mouthed 'thank you' to the couple.

They both smiled and closed the door once again.

Then they turned and walked to the living room, stopping in front of Amélie.

Will hunkered down and grabbed her hand, pulling slightly, "Come on…"

She looked at him strangely, "Where are we going?"

"Out to eat," Will said with a smile, "Francie's restaurant…you've never been there…'bout time…"

Francie smiled, "I'll make you whatever you want."

Amélie smiled, "I really don't want to leave Michael again…"

"Michael is in good hands, Amélie," Francie reminded her.

"I know that…" Amélie started, "That doesn't lessen my role as his mother…"

Will smiled, "Mom's gotta eat…come on…I think Mike and Syd need some room…"

Amélie sighed, "Alright…let me just go say goodbye…"

Will pulled her up, "We told them…" He tugged on her hand and she relented, smiling.

"You're a very charming boy," she said with a smile.

Will looked at Francie, "Did you hear that? I'm charming…"

Francie rolled her eyes, "Amélie, we need to talk about Will's ego…"

Sydney waited until she heard the door close. She knew that they would have at least a little time alone.

She adjusted the ice pack on his shoulder and ran her hand absently through his hair again.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Ok…can I get you anything? Water?"

He shook his head no.

"Vaughn?"

He didn't reply vocally, but he tilted his head slightly so she knew he was listening.

"I don't want to push you…if you're not ready…or you don't want to tell me, it's ok…but…can I ask what Barnett did or said to make you…snap?"

He shuddered slightly, and she tightened her grip.

For a few minutes, all was silence again, and she thought that he had decided not to tell her, or that he wasn't ready, so she just held onto him.

She felt him shift slightly and grunt as overused muscles raged in anger against him.

"Vaughn…you ok? Do you need more medication?"

"It terrified me…" he said abruptly.

"The snapping?"

"Yeah," he said quietly, "but…"

She waited for him to continue and didn't press when it took him several minutes to do so.

"It…I felt…relieved after…"

"Why?" she asked gently.

"Because…I didn't lose it with you…I didn't hurt you…I feel guilty enough that it was Barnett…but Sydney…if I would have…" he stopped, shaking slightly, "I'd…"

She soothed him, "No…sweetie, I know you'd never hurt me…it's ok…Barnett, she pushed you…"

"But I let her…I let her push me…I let her get me to that point…"

"Vaughn…" Sydney started.

"I've realized," he said, stopping her, "I…I thought…I guess I thought I was ok…but, I'm not…I'm not sure why I thought I was…I guess I hoped that I could just move past it, shove it aside, ignore what happened and get back to normal that way…but…I mean, I can't will it away…even if I have you…I can't make it go away because I want it too…it's not that simple…"

Sydney was shocked by his admission, "Vaughn, I knew it wasn't going to be easy for you…and I thought maybe you just needed time…compartmentalizing too much isn't a good thing, I should know – and that can break you just as easily…I think…even though it was a scary experience, I think it was…I think it was productive…"

"Now I know…"

"You do…but it'll be normal again honey…it's getting there now…you just have things you have to do, things you need to say, think about…"

She stopped, letting him think again in silence, playing with the hairs at the hairline on the back of his head.

"I think I thought that if I didn't talk about it, it would go away…that I wouldn't think about it anymore if I didn't say it…"

"I can see where you'd think that…what do you think now?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore than I did before…but I…keeping it all in…it's not gonna make me any better…I'm just…gonna get stuck…"

"Stuck?"

"I'll never get out of this mind frame…I won't ever be me again…they'll be a part of me that will still be there…lost in those weeks I…I don't want to stay there Sydney…I can't stay there and be sane…"

She moved them down on the bed slightly, hugging him closer, "I won't let you do that either…I want you here…all of you…I'm not gonna let any part of you stay there…ok?"

He closed his eyes and buried his head in her neck, "Thank you…but I've got to do it…I have to get myself out…"

"You don't have to do it alone…" she reminded him, pressing her lips against his forehead.

"I don't wanna be broken anymore Sydney…" he said as a few tears escaped.

She whispered soothing words and ran her hand up and down the length of his back, "You're not broken Vaughn…you're just…whatever pieces you think you've left behind…I'll help you pick them up…ok?"

He picked up his head, "What if there are a lot of pieces?"

She smiled, "No matter how many pieces there are…I'll be there…"

He offered her a soft smile, the first since she'd left him with Barnett before the session.

That made her feel slightly better; the man she loved was hurting, in more than one kind of way…and she wanted to desperately to help him…and she saw that soft and small smile as a sign that perhaps she had helped…even just a little bit.

His soul had been weathered by his ordeal and she would help him pick up the battered pieces if that was what he required. In truth, she would have done anything, and she knew that they shared that common bond.

She wanted him to talk to her more, but she could see the toll the day had taken on him. It was a good thing he didn't have to stand, because she was sure he would have collapsed. She wrapped him in her arms closely, watching as his eyes started to flutter as the fatigue set in. He fell asleep quickly, his full body weight leaning on her. She stayed awake, protecting him, perhaps somewhat foolishly, but she felt the need to stand watch, to be his guardian angel for a change…

About halfway to the restaurant, Will couldn't handle the silence anymore and turned the radio on. He really didn't care what was playing; he just needed some kind of noise. It had been so silent in the house, so silent in the bedroom, so silent in the car; he couldn't take any more silence. He had to drown out the silence with something.

Francie looked over at him when he turned on the radio, but she didn't question him.

Amélie sat in the backseat, silent…staring out the window, lost in thought as the buildings and colors flashed past.

He pulled into the parking lot and got the two ladies' doors, and they walked in where they were greeted cordially by Francie's waitstaff.

"Francie…we thought you'd gone home for the night," Paul said as he saw her walk in the front door.

"Well, yeah…but we needed a bite to eat, and Amélie has never frequented our fine cuisine…"

"Ah, well…you're in for a great treat then," Paul said as he gestured to a table in back.

Amélie smiled politely, but any fool could tell that she was not really interested in anything Paul had to say.

The three sat and Sarah, their waitress, came over to the table to take their order.

"What can I– Francie!"

"Yes Sarah, I think you know what both Will and I are having…"

"Sure do, Lobster, roasted red potatoes, asparagus..."

"Yes, and Amélie, what would you like?"

"I'll just have a bowl of the Bouillabaisse."

"Good choice," Sarah said, "Francie's specialty."

Sarah smiled and walked off, leaving the three at the table. Will looked at Francie and she looked at him before they both looked to Amélie.

"So…what happened to Mike," Will asked.

Francie threw him a 'way to ease into it glance,' but he just looked at Amélie, waiting for a response.

Amélie looked up at them, "He…therapy…" she stopped, "Barnett…" she stopped again, shaking her head.

Will and Francie waited patiently for her to continue but she just concentrated on the pale green tablecloth.

"Amélie?" Will asked after he and Francie had exchanged worried glances for several minutes.

Her head rose and she looked at Will. It struck him how that look reminded him of Michael. "Are you ok?" he asked.

"No…I don't think so…I've seen his injuries, the bruises, the cuts, that infected wound," she said with a shudder, "but I guess I've never really thought about the mental, the psychological side of what all of this has done to Michael." She paused, "I wasn't ready for what Dr. Barnett did today…even though Sydney warned me, told me what she was going to do…it didn't sink in." Amélie looked up at the pair, "She broke my son today."

"Do you know how?" Francie asked gently.

"Not specifics…just that she pushed him to the breaking point and he did. I can only imagine rage like that would be the result of something about Sydney."

"Rage?" Will asked, "What kind of rage?"

Amélie looked at Will, "Michael attacked Dr. Barnett today."

"Attacked?!" Both Will and Francie exclaimed at the same moment. The next string of words that each uttered were muddled by both of them trying to talk at once. "Attacked how?" "Did he hurt her?" "Did Michael get hurt?" "What did she say?" "Why would he do that?" "He seems so controlled." "Must have been quite the extreme…"

Amélie waited patiently until both seemed to realize that she wasn't answering their flurry of questions.

"Sorry," Will said as he noticed.

"We just…sorry," Francie repeated.

Amélie offered them a knowing smile, "I reacted largely the same way…I wasn't very nice to Dr. Barnett."

"Amélie, why did Michael attack Barnett? I still don't understand…" Francie said.

"Like I said, I don't know specifics…but she's ok…she talked him down and yes, he hurt himself, but Tom came over and he'll be ok as well…"

"Wow," was Will's response after he sat for a few minutes in silence.

"What a day," Francie added.

Amélie nodded, "Indeed."

They all sat in a dazed sort of vacuum until the food arrived. Will and Francie started but Amélie only took a few spoonfuls before she put her spoon back next to the bowl.

Will looked over at Francie while he chewed, and she gave him a sideways glance, but they largely just gave her the time and quiet that she needed to sort things out.

In truth, they didn't eat as much at they normally did; too caught up in the torrent of emotions and events that had taken place.

Francie and Will thanked the staff and they walked tiredly towards the car with Amélie in tow a few steps behind them. The ride home was much like the rest of the evening had been; silence permeating. Will didn't turn the radio on this time…

When they got into the driveway and looked towards the house, it was dark. Francie was the first to the front door and she pushed it open gently, trying to be as quiet as possible.

They tiptoed down the hallway and then all stopped in front of the closed door. "Should we check on them?" Francie asked in a whisper.

"Um…I don't think we need to…" Will said.

They both looked to Amélie, "Leave them be…I'm sure they're sleeping…it's been an exhausting day."

With that she smiled and bid them goodnight, walking wearily back to the spare room.

Will and Francie spent another minute in front of the door before turning and doing the same.

Will wrapped his arm around Francie's waist and she reciprocated the gesture. He leaned over and kissed her cheek and she smiled, walking slowly towards their bedroom, leaning on each other. They closed the door quietly and succumbed to sleep with the rest of the household.

The house was dark and silent, save for the one light that Sydney always left on in the bedroom. The early chaos of the afternoon and evening and the unsettling silence of unresolved issues gave way to a more peaceful reconciliation in the recesses of sleep…


	136. Lazy Saturday

**Chapter 136: Lazy Saturday **

_"Every man's memory is his private literature." – Aldous Huxley _

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." –The Wonder Years

"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love." – Hubert Humphrey

"Life isn't a matter or milestones, but of moments." – Rose Kennedy

"Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff about a bit, and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these." – Susan B. Anthony**

* * *

**

Soft morning light poured into Sydney's bedroom as Saturday morning dawned. Vaughn woke to the feel of Sydney's arms holding him tightly, warmth and light filled the room.

He turned his head to look at her and she smiled down at him softly, "Hey," she said quietly.

"Hi," he said with an equally soft voice. She moved down to kiss him, a soft, inviting kiss that deepened to exhibit the profundity of their love.

"How are you this morning?" Sydney asked as she ran her hand over his cheek.

"Mmm…I'm sore…" he said honestly, his voice still slightly strained, still hoarse from the previous days' ordeal.

"Why don't I get your medication…and something to eat…ok?"

"Mmm…meds are a good thing…I'm not really hungry."

"You need to eat something Vaughn."

"Ok," he relented, not wanting to get into an argument over something like that.

She smiled and gently moved him off of her. She smiled again when she looked down at herself, and looked over to survey him as well; they both were still wearing yesterday's clothes.

"And when we're done, we can change…" she told him with a smile.

"What else are we going to do today?" he asked looking up at her.

"Nothing…"

"What do you mean?" he said confused.

"We aren't going to do anything today Vaughn…except eat…perhaps…" she suggested with a raised eyebrow.

He smiled, "We're just gonna spend all day in bed?"

"Yup," Sydney said proudly, "I will occasionally get up to get medication and food…that's the only reason I'll be leaving the bed." She smiled and then turned.

He nodded and watched her as she walked out of the room, opening and closing the door behind her.

He looked over to the window at the soft light that was pouring in – it fit with the mood that Sydney had just set up for the day, but it was such a contrast to all the feelings that were welled up inside him.

Sydney yawned as she walked to the kitchen. It was still early; earlier than they normally got up; but they'd gotten to bed so much earlier the previous night, it made perfect sense. She had slept, that much was true, but she found that she had woken up more than other nights; almost as though she had an internal clock that forced her to wake and check to make sure Vaughn was all right. She had been pleased to see that he had slept through the night, though she was sure it was due more to exhaustion than anything else.

Sydney was somewhat surprised that Amélie and Will and Francie were all awake, but there they sat in the kitchen, halfway through a breakfast meal that consisted of eggs and French toast.

"Hi," Will said happily smiling at her.

"Hi guys," Sydney said with a yawn.

"You ok?" Will added.

"Yeah, I'm fine…"

"Did you guys get any sleep?"

"Um…yeah…like all night long – he was exhausted…slept the whole night through."

"Good," Will said with a nod, "You want some breakfast?" he asked.

"I can make some more," Francie said, already getting up.

"Um…yeah, ok…can you do me a favor?" Sydney asked.

"Sure, of course," Francie affirmed.

"Can you make some bacon?" Sydney asked.

Francie smiled, "Yeah, I can do that…"

Sydney looked at Amélie, "How are you?"

"I think I'm slowly coming out of my state of shock…" she said with a small smile.

Sydney offered her a sympathetic smile, "I know that was difficult…and I'm sorry that you had to witness it…"

"I'm not…it made me realize what Michael has really been through…and it's not even close to being over…in fact it's just begun…"

Sydney smiled sadly, "That's true…but that's also why we're here…"

Amélie nodded as Francie handed her the plate a few minutes later, "There ya go, eggs, French toast, and special bacon…"

"Thanks," Sydney said, accepting the plate and stuffing the various pill bottles into her pockets. She grabbed a fork and a glass of juice and was about to head back to the bedroom.

"Guys…um…I think it's best if he just kinda…chills out today…like no stress at all…so…I hate to ask, but can you be kinda quiet? I already told him he's not leaving the bed…"

They all smiled, "We'll be quiet…we'll figure something out," Will said.

Sydney smiled in response and walked back to the bedroom.

"So…what do you think we should do?" Francie asked Will and Amélie.

Will thought a moment, "You have a garden, right Amélie?"

"Yes I do…"

Will looked at Francie, "We should go to Descanso…"

"Ooo, good idea Will…Have you been there Amélie?" Francie asked.

"Maybe once…but not in ages…I'd love to see it again…"

"Great…then it's settled…let's get ready, we'll leave in a little while," Will suggested as he took his plate to the dishwasher.

The other two followed suit, and they all dispersed to get ready.

Vaughn was looking out the window when she came back, and didn't look over at her, didn't seem to notice her presence until she closed the door. Then he looked over at her and smiled slightly.

"Francie made you bacon…"

"That was nice," he said quietly.

She sat the plate down on the nightstand and helped him sit up and then took her place next to him on the bed. She gave him a bite of eggs and handed him a strip of bacon. She waited until he had a few bites down and then handed him his array of pills. He took all of them, not questioning the dosages. She made him eat a few more bites of egg and French toast before relenting and just letting him finish the bacon.

There was a soft knock on the door and Sydney said, "Yeah?"

Will pushed the door open, "Hey…"

"Hi Will," Sydney said.

"Hi," Vaughn added.

Will smiled at the two. Although he had a ton of questions, he knew that it wasn't the time to ask them, "Francie and I are gonna take Amélie to Descanso…not sure how long we'll be gone, but it'll be at least till this afternoon…that ok?"

Sydney smiled, "Sounds fine Will, have fun."

"You two take it easy," Will said with a happy grin. He closed the door quietly and the faint sounds of the three leaving could be heard.

"Looks like a nice day for the garden…" Vaughn said quietly as Sydney sat the plate on the nightstand.

She looked over at him, "Yeah it does…"

He was quiet for a few minutes and then added, "I miss being outside…"

"I know baby…why don't we talk about where you wanna go when you're well enough to walk around…where's the first place you wanna go?"

It took him all of a second to say, "The beach. I wanna go to the beach, see the ocean…can we walk on the pier?" he asked.

She smiled, "Of course. It'll be our first stop."

"Just don't bring your beeper, cause I'm not jumping in to get it," he added.

It took her a minute to catch that one, then she smiled and started to giggle, "Well as long as Kendall or someone else doesn't beep me while we're there, I think we'll be fine."

He smiled, "That was funny…"

She looked over at him again, "You were great to me that night…I didn't know who else to call, there wasn't anyone else I could call…"

"I was glad you called, that you trusted me…after our first meeting, I wasn't so sure."

She smiled, "Can you show me what a paper bag looks like again?"

He smiled, "I wasn't trying to be condescending."

"I know…I was just…that was such a hard time for me…I'm giving you the plan," she started to giggle, "God was I confident."

He smiled, "I love that about you."

She leaned over and kissed him, "That was also the first time I was introduced to Agent Vaughn's holster…"

His eyebrow rose as she leaned over and kissed him again, "What is it exactly about that holster?"

"Mmm…you look so sexy when you wear it baby," she moved down to kiss his cheek, "Maybe it's the big…gun…" she bit along his jaw line.

He turned his head to meet her mouth.

"You cannot imagine how many times I wanted to grab that holster and…like…shove you against the fence in the warehouse."

"Rawr…" he said with a smile.

She smiled, "You have no clue what the combination of the holster, a nice blue, button-up shirt, top button undone, white tee peeking out, tie loosened, can do to a woman."

"I had that same idea…up against the fence, on those goddamn crates, every time I saw you…I would just wait for you to call…or when I made the call…it would take you forever to get there. I used to hate having to sit there, sit at work when I knew you were out there on the brink of death…"

"When I found out you didn't sleep when I was away…"

He turned to her, "Yeah?"

"Was that when you knew?"

"Knew what?"

"Was that when you started having feelings for me?"

He chuckled, "I think the moment I laid eyes on you I knew I had feelings for you in some capacity…are you asking me when I fell in love with you?"

She smiled, "Yeah, I guess I am."

"Do you remember that time we met at the car wash and you asked me about my wife?"

"That was when?"

"No – do you remember that?"

"Of course."

"I thought a lot about you after that…like I wondered how things would have been different if you'd known from the beginning…And I was so jealous that night you took Will a your date to Sloane's."

Sydney chuckled, "You were kind of obvious."

"You looked gorgeous, how could I not?"

She smiled, "I wanted to take you…"

He smiled, "Really?"

"Yeah."

"When did you know?"

"I don't think we've gotten to when you did, Mr. Vaughn."

He smiled, "Sydney, I don't think I can pin it down to one moment. It was a series of moments, every time I saw you…I cared about you from day one, but that ONE moment," he shook his head, "I'll have to think about it…" he looked over at her, "I've loved you for a long time."

She blushed and leaned over, kissing him.

"What about you?" he asked.

She thought for a moment, "When I really knew that I loved you…after Cole. You risked things before…but that time…you risked your career, your reputation, your life, everything…for me…I was starting to fall then…"

He smiled, "It's built for a long time…"

Sydney started to giggle.

"What?"

"The 'Functional Imaging Test' – are you romantically interested in anyone…you ass…"

He grinned, "Well, I told you…it built for a long time…I think I was in love with you then already…"

She smiled, "It did build…still is…"

"Always."

She leaned over and kissed him deeply, trying to get their souls to merge. When they broke, they were both breathless. They sat silently for a few minutes.

"We should change…ok?" Sydney suggested.

He nodded, "Ok."

She got up and began to dig through her dresser, pulling out a few items and laying them on the bed. Then she moved to the bags on the floor, "I'm hanging these up today Vaughn," she informed them both.

He smiled, "If you say so baby, but what about the whole day in bed thing?"

She turned, "True…tomorrow then."

He chuckled and watched her for a few minutes as she fished out clothes for him.

"When I thought you were gonna die in that silo…when Hassan set you up…that's when I knew…" he blurted out.

She turned around to face him, "That's when you knew you loved me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I thought I lost you…and that thought terrified me…I took the stairs two at a time…I totally interrupted Devlin…and demanded that he sign that protection order."

"You did?" she asked smiling.

He nodded, "Yes."

She felt the need to say, "I love you…"

He grinned, "I love you too…"

She went back to the clothes but turned when he was chuckling.

"What?"

"We're really gonna move in together…our own place…when I'm better?" he asked, but his tone was serious, needing affirmation.

She smiled and moved back to him, sitting by his side on the bed. She could tell he was worried, worried that perhaps the events of yesterday would change her mind, change her opinion of him. She smiled, "I would really like that, if you still want to."

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Yeah…I want to."

She leaned down and kissed him, "Good, settled then." She got up and continued riffling.

"You know…Tom…"

She looked at him when he didn't continue his thought, "What about Tom?"

He smiled bashfully, "Kaia and Tom…they…well, I mean, they're moving fast, but…"

"What you think it's too fast?"

"Not at all…I think they're perfect for each other. I've never seen Tom so happy, it's just…got me thinking…"

"Thinking about what?" Sydney asked, approaching the bed again.

"About us."

"What about us Vaughn?"

"Well…I mean…if we move in together…I just…well…" he stopped thinking, "Later…will you…" he looked away.

"Vaughn? Are you asking what I think you're asking?"


	137. Lazy Saturday, Part 2

**Chapter 137: Lazy Saturday, Part 2 **

_"I am convinced that life is 10 what happens to me and 90 how I react to it." – Charles Swindoll _

"I don't know what too much film is, but I do know what's not enough. Not enough is when there are images you want to capture and you're out of film. I never want that to happen to me again." – Forrest H. R. Bard

"It is one thing to photograph people. It is another to make others care about them by revealing the core of their humanness." – Paul Strand

**

* * *

**

"I…well…yeah…" he stopped and sighed heavily, "but just…later – er – I…well, shit."

She smiled and sat down, "Just because Tom beat you to it doesn't mean you have to ask me Vaughn."

"It's not because of Tom. I do want to…I want you to know that, I just…well, I don't know why I said anything, it's not like I can really ask you now."

"Why not?"

"Um…no ring, no 'on one knee,' no sentiment, no romance, oh yeah, and the groom-to-be is a fucked up mess."

She smiled and was about to dispute that but he started again.

"I just want you to know that I love you and I'm completely committed if that's something you agree with. I don't want to make it all formal right now because…well because of all of this, but I just wanted to tell you."

She smiled, "Ok…and I agree – the commitment part."

"Would you say yes if I asked?"

"Yes, I would."

He grinned like she hadn't seen in a long time. She kissed him several times, the depth of their love and emotions evident on their lips.

Sydney looked at him, "This is completely out of the blue, I realize, but it sort of just popped in my mind, since we were kinda talking about the subject…can I ask – do you want kids Vaughn?"

His eyes got wide, "Uh…are you…"

She smiled, "No. Although I probably should be with all the time you spend…No…the CIA has very effective birth control. I'm just wondering…"

He smiled, slightly relieved, "Yeah Sydney, some day, I do."

"Good," she said, "Me too."

He smiled wider, "I couldn't imagine anyone else having my children…"

She matched his smile, "Ditto." She lay down with him, her head on his shoulder, tilted up to look at him, "I want a little boy with your beautiful green eyes and smile."

"Mmm…I think he should have your brown eyes and dimples."

"Honey, the chances of the kid having dimples are pretty good…"

He chuckled.

"What are we going to name this cute little boy?" Sydney asked.

"Hmm…"

"I think we should name him William after your father." She looked at him to see his reaction.

He was looking down at her in awe, "I…"

"You don't like that?" she asked.

"I do…I just…wow…thank you," he managed to get out.

She smiled, "William Michael," she said in a dreamy tone.

"That sounds really nice Sydney. Really, I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me." He kissed her forehead.

"Well, I like it."

"What happens if we have a girl? A cute little girl that'll look just like her mommy?"

Sydney smiled and then said quietly, "Well, I can tell you her name won't be Irina."

Vaughn hugged Sydney closer, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's ok."

"Skylar," he said.

She turned her head up to him, "Perfect, middle name?"

"Hmm…Michael?"

Sydney giggled, "We're not egotistical…hmm…I want her to have daddy's eyes…a little girl with fiery emerald eyes…Emerald."

"Skylar Emerald, beautiful…what do we do if she has blue or brown eyes?"

"She won't…" she smiled, "Well – there! We named our kids, want to work on world peace next?"

He chuckled, "Maybe we can tackle that one tomorrow."

"Ok…rain check."

He hugged Sydney to him closer; she reacted by snuggling in his arms more. They stayed that way for awhile until Sydney said, "Ok, we have to change…really, we should get dressed."

He chuckled, "Well," he glanced at the clock, "it's lunchtime…I guess we should…"

"What should we have?"

"No clue…"

"Well, I'll go take a look at what we have…" Sydney kissed him quickly and then went out into the kitchen to scour the cupboards for something for lunch.

She went to the refrigerator and saw a note tacked to the door with a little margarita magnet.

"_Syd I FINALLY got those pictures developed from like FOREVER AGO…sorry it took so long for me to get them. They're on the table – and there is a SUPER cute one of you and Michael. I was going to bring them in last night, but I thought better of that idea and so, I just left them for you. See you guys later; take it easy today. Love, Fran_"

Sydney opened the package and started to flip through the photos. She found the "super cute" one instantly because Francie put it on top. She flipped through the other pictures, some with she and Francie, some with she and Will, even a few adorable ones with Will and Vaughn, and a few group shots too. She too came back to that one picture of Vaughn and her…they'd gone to the park that day, all four of them. It was about a month before he was taken, they'd had a picnic lunch, Will and Vaughn had played basketball for a while; until they all played Frisbee on the grass. It had been one of the most enjoyable days. She remembered how insanely annoying Francie was with all her picture taking, but now, if she'd have lost Vaughn, this could have been the only picture of them together that she'd have.

She took that picture out of the package and placed it on the counter and then walked back to the bedroom, "Pretty much…yeah – if we would just like a nice, simple, light lunch, I can make like…peanut butter and jelly…"

Vaughn smiled, "That sounds wonderful."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said seriously.

"Ok, I'll be right back with them." Sydney went back out and whipped up two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and grabbed some milk and brought it all back to the bedroom. She went back for the picture and placed it on her side of the bed, on the nightstand, so he really couldn't see it.

They ate their sandwiches fairly quickly and Sydney made sure Vaughn took all his medications.

After she took the dishes out, she came back into the bedroom and grabbed the picture frame that Vaughn had given her for a Christmas. It held a picture of herself and Will and Francie.

"What are you doing?" he asked when she sat back down next to him and proceeded to remove the picture of her friends from the frame.

"Just wait a second," she said as she replaced the picture with the one of her and Vaughn. She presented it to him when she was finished, after she had adjusted it to fit just perfectly in the frame.

"There!" she said as she brought it into his line of view.

He smiled, "That's a nice picture…is that from the picnic?"

"Yeah," she said as she nestled herself down, holding the frame in her hand as she looked at the two of them staring back at her with huge smiles on their faces.

"Did I ever tell you I got hauled in for this frame?"

Sydney sat up quickly, "What? NO! WHY?"

"Haladki reported me to Barnett because he said I was too emotionally attached to you…so I had to go talk to Barnett and I tried to pummel the weasel in the hallway afterwards, Weiss had to pull me off…"

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said with a cocky grin.

"What did Barnett ask you?"

"If my relationship with you was appropriate."

"Wow."

"Yeah, I didn't take it well…" he stopped and then added, "Of course, I didn't try to kill her that time."

"You wanna talk about it now?"

He looked at her, watched her eyes looking for signs of disapproval, but all he saw was love.

He looked down, "I…I didn't feel anything…just pure rage…I didn't feel any pain until later."

"Adrenaline does that."

He nodded and then shook his head, "I had my hands around her throat Sydney." He closed his eyes tightly and then opened them again.

"What made you stop?" she asked.

"Barnett asked me if I liked the power. If I liked it that she couldn't stop me…it just made me realize what I was doing…all the adrenaline just vanished, like that," he accentuated by snapping his fingers.

"What made you that mad?"

"She just kept up more of the same…more extreme…mind games."

"About?"

He met her eyes.

"Me?" she asked.

He nodded.

"What did she say?"

He thought a minute about how far he wanted to take this, about how much he wanted to tell her. In truth, he really didn't want to think about it anymore, but if he didn't admit it, it might haunt him forever. Who was he kidding? Even if he told her, the images would still haunt him. Did she really need to know? Did she really need to hear it?

"Vaughn?"

He looked at her again, "I don't think you really need to know."

"I can handle it Vaughn. I would like to know what made you snap."

He wrangled with what to tell her for a minute.

"Was it about torture?" she asked.

He met her eyes and nodded.

"Your torture?"

"Indirectly…but not really."

"It was about me though."

He nodded again.

She thought a moment and then thought out loud, "About me…indirect torture…" she looked at him, "Like role reversal?"

Acknowledgement flashed in his eyes, "Yeah…" she continued to amaze him.

She took his hand, "Tell me…don't be scared, you're not gonna scare me…just talk to me."

He looked down, "Why do you wanna know? This is like when I used to tell you about what happened to me. Then you just have to live with it too…"

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told you then; I did not experience it first hand, it's not going to affect me the same way. I'd really like for you to tell me."

"It's not really something–"

"Vaughn?"

"Yeah?"

"This is the same thing like the torture – if you don't talk about it–"

"I won't get past it."

"Right," she said smiling.

He nodded and took a deep breath, "Ok."

She put up her hand and sat up, pulling her shirt over her head and threw it over in the corner. Her pants followed and then she uncovered him and took his shirt and pants off as well, throwing them in the same pile.

"Are we getting dressed first?" he asked quietly.

"No, we're getting undressed…" Sydney informed him.

She pulled him over to her again, getting under the covers and making sure she could still hold him and look him in the eyes.

"Ok, go ahead," she instructed.

He snuggled into her closely, "She used you to make me snap, the role reversal, in detail…stuff like…'what could they do to a beautiful woman.' Stuff like that."

Sydney looked down at him, "What stuff – tell me."

He averted her eyes, but she pulled him back, forcing him to look at her, "She…she had me imagine, suggested things they could have done if our roles were switched."

"Like what Vaughn?" she pressed gently.

He sighed, feeling the tightness in his chest mount, "Like…having me imagine all the horrible things…images, sounds…"

"What Vaughn."

"Like imagining that they raped you," he blurted out, somewhat surprised himself.

She held him tighter, "It's ok…keep going."

"Like imagining them enjoy it, laugh about it."

"Yeah."

"Or imagining that we were both taken and forcing me…" he stopped.

"What Vaughn?"

"Forcing me to watch."

"What else?"

"Suggesting who would be doing it…"

"Who?"

He refused to answer that, "Asking me if I could hear you calling my name, begging for them to stop, begging for them not to make me watch."

"What made you snap Michael?"

"She asked if you were enjoying it…and if…" he broke off; tears springing to his eyes as he relived it, as the rage started to slowly build again.

She could see the changes taking place in him, from an almost descriptive phase to a much more personal one.

"Shh…what Michael…it's ok…just relax…what made you snap?"

"Sloane participating…that image…I just…I lost it…I still," he closed his eyes, "I can see his face, hear him…I just…I…the thought…" he shuddered and broke down again, crying in her arms.

She whispered to him quietly, telling him that everything was ok, that he was safe and that they were both going to be all right.


	138. Retained in the Mind

**Chapter 138: Retained in the Mind **

_"Remember, life is not what happens to you but what you make of what happens to you." – Anonymous _

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." – Soren Kierkegaard

"Memory is the scribe of the soul." – Aristotle

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." – Anonymous

"There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted." - James Branch Cabell

"Every man's memory is his private literature." – Aldous Huxley

**

* * *

**

She held him in her arms until the crying slowly ebbed and then lay down with him, pulling him with her until she was spooning with him face-to-face. She intertwined their legs and made sure that he was supported enough so he didn't injure himself. She grabbed one of the unused pillows and made sure that his back was supported as well, just as a precaution so he wouldn't hurt his ribs rolling. She kept her left hand under him, holding him close to her and the other running trails down his cheek and face.

His eyes began to flutter slightly, the crying and emotion that came along with spilling his soul to her coupled with her methodic caresses taking its toll and making him extremely sleepy.

She smiled softly as he began to drift and then chuckled softly when he forced himself to stay awake.

"Sleep baby…I'm not going anywhere."

"I wanna stay awake…talk more…"

"About Barnett?" she asked gently.

"No…bout us…"

She smiled, "Take a nap, we'll talk after…ok?"

He yawned and nodded, accepting the fate of sleep and letting her lull him off into slumber.

She kept herself extremely close to him, she was sure he could feel her breath on his face because she could feel his. She thought about all that they had talked about today; enough to fill more than a few days, and he wanted to talk more. Maybe this was a new leaf for him. He'd been so distant and quiet with his emotional feelings lately, so bottled up…maybe his "break" with Barnett was just he push he needed.

She kept up her gentle caresses on his cheek, listening to his breathing and watching the rise and fall of his chest, feeling it as well, pressed up against hers. She didn't realize until a few minutes later that they were breathing in sync; on his exhale, she inhaled and vice-versa.

She thought about his promised proposal…and the reaction she had obtained when she told him that if he asked, she'd say yes. She hadn't seen him that happy in a long time; another priceless moment in their adventure together.

They'd had so many happy moments, and their share of unhappy ones, but at this moment, watching him sleep, watching his peaceful visage as she kept him from harm, she couldn't think of one of those unhappy moments.

She thought about their talk of children, imagining their son or daughter to carry this same innocent countenance as their father, that same slow smile, that same mischievous glint in the eyes. As much as she knew they had to wait until he was better and until they were ready, she couldn't help but smile at the thought of having a small, cute, huggable, little Vaughn running around. The larger version was great enough, but a little one – a part of both of them, well, that was just too good, almost surreal to think about at the moment.

She had no idea how long they'd been laying there, he was comfortable, and she was completely happy where she was, no complaints. She couldn't see the clock at the moment, but the sunlight had shifted it's direction as it spilled into their room, so she knew that it was at least late afternoon.

He shifted slightly, and she instinctively tightened her grip on him, making sure he stayed still enough that he didn't hurt himself.

She watched as his eyes blinked rapidly as he yawned again and slowly came out of sleep.

"Hi," she said quietly, her hand still tracing his cheek, playing with his sideburns.

"Hey," he replied with smile.

"You ok?"

"Yeah…I think so…" he yawned, "Did you sleep?"

She shook her head, "Nope…just watched you…"

He smiled, "Do I talk in my sleep?"

"Not today you didn't…"

"Do I normally?"

"Not really, not that I hear…"

"You do," he said with a smile.

"What do I say?" she asked.

"Don't frost the pie…"

She giggled, "Oh man…" she stopped giggling, "I didn't want to leave you…"

"I didn't want you to go…"

"It was even worse when I heard that you collapsed. You went to see my mother before that…what did you talk about?"

He smiled, "You mostly…she wanted to know about our relationship…"

"Really?" Sydney asked shocked.

"Yeah, she totally had us pegged…"

Sydney smiled, "Fooled…"

Vaughn smiled, "She's still your mom…"

"Let's not talk about her now…" Sydney said.

Vaughn smiled knowingly, "Ok."

"When you were sick," Sydney started, "I was so scared Vaughn…"

"I'm sorry…"

"No, it's ok…you just…you were so sick…and then when you crashed," Sydney shook her head, "I was so afraid I had lost you…but…well – nothing was worse than seeing you behind that door in Taipei…" Sydney said softly, "That is…until you were taken from me again…"

"You always find me…"

She smiled, "I don't like how I find you…the injection to the heart was enough Vaughn, I didn't need to find you worse off than that…"

"But you saved me…there was so much I wanted to say to you…you have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you that night."

"Yeah, I do," she admitted, taking advantage of their much changed situation to kiss him then.

"Wanna know what I hated?" he asked.

"Sure," she said seriously.

"When that ass tried to dance with you in the club before all that happened…"

She grinned, "You did get rather possessive…I liked it…"

He grinned back, "Good…cause that really pissed me off…"

Sydney smiled, "Will was insanely jealous you know…"

"Yeah, he asked me once, if every time you got a wrong number if you were meeting me…"

"He did?"

"Yeah…"

"What did you say?"

"Just that it was easy to set up a meet…"

"You're bad…"

"Hey – company line…he asked about that too," Vaughn said pointing to the picture frame that now held their picture in it.

"He did?" Sydney said with a grin.

"Yeah…he asked if it was a way to contact you – I told him it was gift," Vaughn smiled proudly.

Sydney had to giggle. Vaughn watched her dissolve into a fit of giggles, having to chuckle himself just from watching her.

"You're so bad…" she finally said when she caught her breath.

"Yeah…but I'm so good…" he added.

"That you are," she added with a kiss, "Always there for me…my ally – never question that…" Sydney said.

He smiled, "I was being honest…"

"I know."

"I remember that night you came in, it was raining, you were soaked…"

"And you asked me no questions…just held me until I stopped crying…then you gave me your jacket and called me a cab…" she smiled touching his face.

"Then I did a really good job of cheering you up in the morning with my great joke…"

Sydney started to giggle, "Yeah, even though I knew it already."

"Want another one?" he asked with childlike glee.

"Sure," she said with a smile.

"This guy has a truckload of penguins, and he needs to get them to the zoo…but his truck breaks down…so there he is, on the side of the road with 127 penguins. So this car pulls up, asks if he's having trouble. The guy explains he's got 127 penguins that have to get to the zoo. So the guy's like 'I'll take em to the zoo for you, you can wait for the tow truck.' So after debating, he says, ok, you can take the penguins to the zoo for me, thanks him and he drives off, 127 penguins stuffed in his car. So, the guy waits, gets the truck towed and when it's fixed, decides he better swing by the zoo to make sure the penguins got there. So he goes, looks around, no penguins. He goes outside, wondering what the hell he's gonna do now – he has no penguins, no way to contact this guy. All of a sudden he sees the guy walking down the street – 127 penguins in tow. He goes up to the guy – 'what are you doing – I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!' The guy looks at him and says, 'I did take them to the zoo…but I had extra money, so we went to the movies too…'"

Sydney groaned, "Oh Vaughn…that was possibly worse than the grasshopper joke…"

"Aw come on! That was a good one…"

"That was SO an Eric joke…"

"Well, yeah…" Vaughn admitted with a smile.

Sydney smiled, "Will told one like that when we were mini-golfing…when you gave me those tickets…"

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah…"

"And you watched from your totally conspicuous perch by the fence…"

"You were so cute when you were golfing…I wanted to golf with you."

"I wanted you to golf too…we can now – when you're better…and I SO needed that after that wonderful mission with my parents – of course you saved me…so…" she leaned over and kissed him.

"I was so scared Sydney, when that necklace…relief doesn't begin to cover it when you called…"

She smiled, "I know…I'm sorry…we tend to do that to each other sometimes…"

"You were just so…normal…golfing…" he giggled, "Pigtails…"

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm not normal otherwise?"

"No, that's not what I mean. It was just nice to see you do something non-work related…and the pigtails were adorable"

"We've done plenty since then…non-work related" she said with a smile.

"Yes, yes we have…"

"Like for instance…Nice…"

"You were so mad at me before I asked you to dinner…"

"I know…well I had reason to! But…yeah, well…how could I resist when you turned on the Vaughn charm?"

"It was all Weiss' fault you know."

"What was?"

"The dinner, everything…he was all on a mission after he came back from the 'brink of death,' as he called it. He was insanely persistent about me telling you how I felt."

"So Weiss knew?"

"Oh yeah…he knew like day two I think."

Sydney chuckled, "Eric…"

"Yeah, he was insane…"

"That was the first time I was introduced to Boyscout."

"Yes, I remember…it's too bad we never got to finish that dinner…Rousseau's was beyond fantastic."

"Can you imagine how different that would have been if I wouldn't have changed?" she asked with a grin.

He laughed, "Yeah, that would have been interesting…you ever wonder what would have happened had we not been found out?"

"Of course…"

"Weiss was so happy, he even did this little dance…I must admit; I was ecstatic myself…"

"We both had the biggest shit-eating grins ever…"

"Yeah…it was nice…"

"I wanna see you play pool Vaughn."

He chuckled, "You do? Why?"

"Cause it's like the tattoo. I mean, you'd think that's the last thing…but then it fits, it makes so much sense…plus, it's just sexy," she said with a sexy smile to match.

"Pool is sexy?"

"Yes!" she paused, "I think you should have an open mind, Mr. Vaughn."

He chuckled.

"You SO wanted to get me into bed…"

"Well he did offer the room…it seemed silly not to accept it…"

"You're so bad…I won't even comment about that knife you had strapped to your leg…"

He raised an eyebrow, "What do you think would have happened if we would have made it to the room?"

She smiled, "I was all prepared…"

Vaughn looked over at her shocked, "You were?"

"Yes, I did have time to change you know…"

His mouth hung open. She snickered and closed it for him.

"What kind of preparation?" he said exasperatedly.

"Nice little lacy number…it was light green…"

"I'm actually SO glad I didn't know that at the time…" he said with a smile.

She smiled back, "So…what would you have done?"

"What do you mean?"

"If we'd have made it up to the room…"

He smiled, "You mean would that have been our first time?"

"Yeah…"

He thought for a moment, "Um…yeah…I think so…"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course," he said seriously.

"Remember when you asked me if I asked the owner to bring the key?"

"You didn't…"

She bit her lip sexily, "I did…when I went to the restroom; I talked to the owner…and asked him to bring a key…"

"Sydney!"

"Yeah, I know…I just wanted to test it out…see how you'd react…ya know?"

He smiled, "Wow…now I REALLY wish we'd have made it up to the room…"

She chuckled, "Me too baby…me too."

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her.


	139. All the Things We Never Said

**Chapter 139: All the Things We Never Said **

_"Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again." – Willa Cather _

"Sweet is the memory of past troubles." – Marcus T. Cicero

"There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery." – Dante Alighieri

"We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget." – Joan Didion

"Unless we remember we cannot understand." – Edward M. Forster

"It is surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time." – Barbara Kingsolver

**

* * *

**

"Did I tell you that I almost resigned as your case officer because I thought that I'd screwed up so bad?"

"I remember we talked about what happened, what changed your mind?"

"Weiss of all people…"

She smiled, "What did he say?"

Flashback  
Weiss: (reads) "Okay, you can't show him this. No, I'm serious. If Kendall sees this–"

Vaughn: "He needs to know why SD-6 has the real gyroscope."

Weiss: "I agree. I think so, too. But this requires a little creativity. Look, tell him it was my fault, okay? Tell him that, um, grinding the lenses took a little longer than expected and we weren't able to make Sydney's plane."

Vaughn: "I won't let you cover for me."

Weiss: "I'm not but it's partially my fault too. I'm the one who told you to take her on a date."

Vaughn: "You told me to tell her how I feel."

Weiss: "Whatever. I'm three-months past a near death experience, what the hell are you doing listening to my advice for?"

Vaughn: "I'm recommending that I be replaced as her case officer. "

Weiss: "Okay, now you're just being stupid. I'm sorry, but that's ridi–"

Vaughn: "I nearly blew our entire operation inside SD-6. Not to mention putting Sydney's life in danger."

Weiss: "Hey, she wanted to go to dinner, too. She's a big girl. She knew the risks."

Vaughn: "My point is that my judgment was compromised."

Weiss: "Not to mention the fact that all the damage that you and Sydney have done to SD-6 – have you given any thought to the fact that maybe all that work was done because of the way you feel about each other? How's that for spin."

Vaughn: "It's not bad."  
End Flashback

Sydney smiled, "Well…I hate to say it, but I think Eric was right for once."

"Let's not tell him that…"

"Ok sweetie, we won't tell him."

"Can I just tell you how much I've loved spending today right here…"

"I did too…I figured you needed a day to just chill out…"

"Yeah…thank you."

"You're welcome," Sydney said kissing him softly.

They lay there just smiling deliriously at each other for a few minutes.

"What else can we talk about?" Vaughn asked after the pause.

"Hmm…let's see…what else haven't we talked about…"

"We haven't talked about our first kiss…"

"Or the first time we really made love…"

They both smiled, "Should we start with kiss?" Vaughn asked.

"Well, sequentially, that did happen first…"

"Sequentially that fat ass touching you happened first, and the most jaw dropping moment of my life as well!"

Sydney smirked, "What do you mean?"

"OH MY GOD! He…he…EWWW…I mean – first he made you put on the other negligee…what a pig…I mean… you looked BEYOND gorgeous! And he had the nerve to tell you to change into the other one! I wanted to KILL him – ask Weiss – if I would have been on that plane – he would be DEAD NOW!"

Sydney was blushing half from the string of compliments and half from his macho nature at the moment, "A bit possessive, aren't we?"

He stared her down, "You. Are. Mine."

She smiled, "O. K." she paused, "I loved your speech to me…"

He returned the smile, "What Eric dubbed the flirting corner?"

Sydney giggled, "Yes, I needed you to tell me…and he interrupted…"

"Well I mean, I couldn't start making out with you right then, although I totally wanted to…"

Flashback  
Vaughn: "I'm going to say something and it will either be obvious to you or seem presumptuous. Either way, I got to say it. This isn't working. I've been thinking about this for a while. I don't know what the hell to do."

Sydney: "What?"

Vaughn: "I think you know what."

Sydney: "I need you to tell me."

Vaughn: "You need me to tell you what? That when you're on operations, I can't sleep at night. That when we're in debrief I have to force myself to remember what the hell we're supposed to be reviewing. When all I want to do is kiss you."

Sydney: "Sometimes it is hard to remember what we're supposed to be talking about."

Vaughn: "That's what I'm talking about. And the thing that makes me crazy every day is that the people who would kill us if we're seen together – the Alliance, SD-6, Sloane – are the very forces that brought you into my life to begin with. What kind of a sick joke is that?"

Sydney: "So what are you thinking? That maybe we shouldn't be working together?"

Vaughn: "That's what I was thinking but then I thought, we are great together."

Sydney: "I know."

Vaughn: "And the more we work together, the sooner the Alliance gets destroyed."

Sydney: "So what are you suggesting?"

(Weiss enters.)

Weiss: "What is this, the flirting corner?"

Vaughn: "Uh, we're talking."

Weiss: "Yeah, I figured that out. Uh, there's a meeting. National security, remember that? It's important... for the people?"

Sydney: "We'll be right there."

(He leaves. They smile at each other and leave as well.)  
End Flashback

"So, what WERE you suggesting?" Sydney asked with a sly grin.

Vaughn raised an eyebrow, "Simply, that it wasn't going to work for us to try to take down the Alliance and Sloane when all I could think about was what you were wearing under those conservative CIA suits and how many different positions you could twist your flexible body into and what your very nice lips or hands, or legs, or anything would look like wrapped around a VERY nice part of me…"

She slapped his shoulder, "You are so bad…"

"You SO thought about that too…"

Sydney gave him a sideways glance, "That's not the point!"

He giggled, "You asked!"

"I did…and I must say, I did enjoy the answer…you had it bad…"

"You NEEDED me to tell you…"

She smiled and kissed him impulsively, making them both giggle.

"And after that damn red and black lingerie…damn woman…I mean…" he shook his head.

"So which did you like better?" she asked.

He grinned, "You'll hit me again…"

"Vaughn, just tell me…"

"The red…"

She slapped him playfully again, "You're just as bad…"

"I am not!"

She smiled, "No…men…" she shook her head, "Why?"

"Cause you looked so hot in it Sydney…I mean…DAMN…and well…I got…" he stopped.

"What?"

"Um…well…you had those earrings on…"

She smiled, "I know…"

He looked over at her, "Aren't we just full of surprises tonight…you knew I could see you?"

"Of course…I would have taken them off otherwise…"

"You do realize of course that Eric was sitting RIGHT there…"

Sydney's eyes got wide, "I…OH MY GOD…I…I totally…DIDN'T think of that! Not at the moment!"

Vaughn was giggling.

"This is NOT funny!" Sydney said angrily, "I can't believe you didn't say anything!"

Vaughn dissolved into a fit of laughter that ended with a few short coughs as he tried to calm down.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

He nodded, "I'm just kidding…just teasing you…when I saw what you were doing…I made him go to the bathroom until you were done…"

"Oh thank God!" Sydney said as she let out a sigh, "You ass."

"Thank you…After that though…Sydney…I thought you were dead…I mean…when you jumped…" he shook his head, closing his eyes to rid his mind of the memory.

She stroked his face, "I'm ok…I was ok…and plus…you brilliantly gave me the out when you told me to throw the gun – saved my life…"

He shook his head again, "That didn't mean I didn't shit my pants when you jumped," he motioned with his fingers, "This close Sydney…another few feet and there would have been nothing left of you…my stomach lurched…I didn't breathe right until I saw you safe on the ground again…"

She smiled softly, "I'm sorry…"

"Wanna know what the best part was?" he asked after he rid his mind of the painful image of Sydney's jump.

"The kiss?"

"That too – but before that…"

"What?"

"Kendall's speech – it was just…" he stopped and then started again, "The words, the Alliance will no longer exist…just…"

"I know…" Sydney said quietly.

"When it was over…"

"Yeah…"

"And I looked at you…"

"Our eyes met…"

"I started towards you…"

"No one else existed Vaughn…"

"No one else mattered…all I wanted was you…"

"We could finally be together…"

"Together…"

She smashed her lips to his, trying desperately to mold them together, their passion igniting like it did thousands of times before, but yet each time different.

They parted as they usually did, breathless, and rested their foreheads against each other as their breathing returned to normal.

They were both grinning like fools.

"SO good," Vaughn said quietly.

"I know…after that kiss Vaughn…my whole life changed…"

"Mine too…and I'm thankful every day for it."

"Me too." She paused and then added, "The next morning…I'd never been so happy to have a car ride before."

"I was elated that I could drive you…seriously, something so simple…we turned into a great step, and speaking of steps… Yeah, let's discuss not only your striptease on the plane, but your blatant flashing me at Cayo Concha."

Sydney giggled, "I'm sorry…I couldn't resist…"

"And then I had to just go on like nothing happened…"

"I'm sorry honey…I made it up to you with dinner later…and other things…" she said with a wink.

The gleam in his jade eyes deepened, "Yeah, the food was great…"

She smiled, "That was an amazing night."

He smiled coyly, "Yes it was…and the reheating worked great for later…"

"We spent the WHOLE night…"

"Yes we did…and many since then."

She snuggled closer to him for a few minutes before saying, "I should make dinner…"

"Mmm…ok…what are we gonna have?"

"What would you like?"

"Pizza…"

"What?"

"Pizza…mmm…or cheese fries – do you have any cheese fries?"

"Ugh Vaughn, no…grease…ick…not good for you."

"Aww," he whined, "Sydney…please?"

She smiled looking down at his little boy face, "I'll go check," she said with a sigh.

She went out to the kitchen and opened the freezer door, "Damn," she said to herself, "Damn Will and his junk food…" she grabbed the cheese fries out of the freezer and got them started in the oven. Then she walked back to the bedroom, "You can thank Will when he gets back – he's adding to your clogged arteries."

"Yay!" Vaughn exclaimed with a smile, "Thank you…"

She smiled, "You're welcome…"

She went back to the kitchen and started to grab drinks and then was waiting for the cheese fries to be done. She stood thinking about the topics they'd discussed; Vaughn seemed better today, more together, more himself. The simple fact that he talked to her all day definitely made her feel better…she looked at the clock, wondering how long Will and Francie would keep Amélie away from the house. She smiled thinking about her friends as they took it upon themselves to keep Amélie occupied today. Her thoughts also started to wander to what else she and Vaughn could do today. He was too emotionally distraught the previous night for her to offer any effective physical remedy, and besides that, that wasn't what he needed. Today on the other hand, they were much closer on that level…she smiled as she took the cheese fries out of the oven and began to cut them into strips. 'Hmm…finger food,' she thought with a smile, and decided Vaughn was going to have a nice, relaxing, yet fun, evening at home.

She grabbed all of the dinner and walked back to the bedroom. He smiled when she walked in and accepted their shared plate, holding onto it until she sat down and held it for him.

He grabbed one of the strips and she watched with an amused look as he literally shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"Hungry?" she asked.

"Mmm…mfph…it's breeeely gof."

She smiled and grabbed one, eating it much more daintily than he had.

She grabbed another one and brought it to his mouth. He took a bite eagerly and then smiled at her.

"Aww man…that is really…greasy."

"I told you! Do you feel sick now?"

"No…it's great," he said with a satisfied smile.

She smiled and brought it to his mouth again, "Speaking of greasy," she said.

He looked at her, as she gave him the last bite of the cheese fry. She presented her hand to him, "My fingers are awfully messy…"

It only took him a minute to figure out that she was turning the cheese fries into some kind of foreplay. He smiled and took her hand, bringing it to his mouth and proceeded to lick her fingers clean.

She smiled appreciatively and continued her feeding regiment.

She reached for his pills and had him take them and then deliberately placed her hand high on his thigh to give him his drink, holding onto the glass while he drank, which she never did anymore.

She put the glass down then and went on with the meal as though nothing had happened.

He wasn't about to be outdone however, and two could play that game, so he grabbed a cheese fry and presented it to her as well. She smiled appreciatively and took a bite, holding on to the hand that was feeding her and inching upward slightly, making goosebumps rise on his arm.

She kept up her movement on his hand and arm until the fry was gone. Then she proceeded to suck the grease off of each one of his fingers, taking each one in turn and hollowing her cheeks, instantly reminding him of another talent she had.

She kept her eyes locked on his hooded ones, he could feel the hair on his neck start to stand up, and a similar reaction was occurring on a lower portion of his body. She smiled and sucked his finger until she let it out with a wet pop.

She took the plate of cheese fries and sat them on the table and then moved back to him, sitting herself on his legs as she sat him up.

"I know what you need baby…" she said seductively as she peeled back the covers…


	140. The Touch of Healing Hands

**Chapter 140: The Touch of Healing Hands **

_"What we learn with pleasure we never forget." – Alfred Mercier _

"Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality. It's part of the sizzle." – Camille Paglia

"When a woman wants a man and lusts after him, the lover need not bother to conjure up opportunities, for she will find more in an hour than we men could think of in a century." – Unknown

"Sensual pleasures are like soap bubbles, sparkling, effervescent. The pleasures of intellect are calm, beautiful, sublime, ever enduring and climbing upward to the borders of the unseen world." – John H. Aughey

"Sex pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken." – Simone De Beauvoir

"If I were asked for a one line answer to the question 'What makes a woman good in bed?' I would say, 'A man who is good in bed.'" – Bob Guccione

**

* * *

**

"A nice warm bath…you're all greasy and sore…" she said with a smile.

He let out a groan, "Aww…Sydney…"

"Come on…" she said pulling him up.

"Well…" he started, "Bath could be fun…" he said with a raised eyebrow.

"We're going to WASH you in the tub…you are going to SOAK, so you're muscles can relax…"

He put on a pout as she helped him stand. He let out a restrained grunt as they stood.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah…just stiff and sore…"

"I'm sorry honey."

"No, it's ok…I'm all right," he said as they started to walk.

"You sure you can make it?"

"Yeah, I'm alright," he said with a smile.

They walked slowly to the bathroom, eyes locked together as they moved. She deposited him in the chair next to the tub and began to fill it, then came back to him to get him out of his boxers and to take off the bandages.

"Are you gonna take a bath with me?" he asked.

"No, I'm gonna clean up a little bit, put some fresh sheets on the bed…you just soak for a bit, ok? Then I'll come back and help you wash…you just rest."

He nodded somewhat unhappily and she smiled as his pouting continued.

"The wound looks better Vaughn…" she informed him.

"It feels better than it did."

"Good."

She helped him into the tub and eased him into a restful position and then got up and rummaged through the closet for some new sheets. She grabbed a plethora of other items as well, but they went unnoticed to Vaughn who was quite happily resting in the therapeutic, warm water.

She marched proudly back to the bedroom and started to strip the bed, taking off the dirty sheets and replacing them with dark navy blue cotton sheets. After the bed was finished she laid out all the other items she'd grabbed, but realized she only had about half of them. She went out to the hall closet and grabbed a few more and then peeked in on Vaughn.

"You doing ok?" she asked, careful to keep her hands from view.

"Yeah, I'm good," he said with a lazy smile.

"Ok, be back soon."

"K."

She walked off again to the bedroom and deposited the armload of goodies on the bed. She then went to her closet and dug out still more items and assembled them all on the bed. She smiled as the surveyed everything and then set to work.

Vaughn had felt relaxed all day, but this was a new level of relaxation. The only thing that would have made it better would have been Sydney in the tub with him. He wondered what she was doing, since it didn't take that long to change the sheets on a bed, but he wasn't complaining – the bath water felt great on his aching muscles. He smiled when he thought about all the reminiscing they had done today. It had been nice to recall all those past memories, all the happy moments that they had shared. And it was nice to hear her take on things that weren't said. He laid his head back on the edge of the tub and sighed contentedly, waiting for Sydney to return.

A giddy and ecstatic smile was in full force as Sydney surveyed her work around the room. She practically skipped back to the bathroom. Vaughn opened his eyes when he saw her enter and smiled at her.

"What are you so happy about?" he asked.

"Nothing…just…happy to be with you."

He smiled, "Aww, thanks…I'm happy to be with you too…so happy."

She went over to him and motioned for him to sit up, and then she started to wash him gently, letting the water and soap drizzle down his back and chest. She washed his hair gently, spending extra time massaging his scalp and very much enjoying the chorus of happy and relaxed moans that emanated from him.

"Ok, you ready to get out?" she asked after she rinsed his hair and spent a few more minutes playfully dousing him with warm water.

"You ready to get in?" he asked with a grin.

She rolled her eyes, "Come on…" She helped him out of the tub and into the chair where she dried him off gently, and then reapplied the bandages, checking each one as she always did.

"K, you stay here a minute, I'm gonna go turn the bed down, then I'll be right back, ok?"

He nodded, "Ok."

She went off as nonchalantly as she could, but in reality, she was so excited it wasn't even funny.

Vaughn suddenly heard soft music playing and he turned his head towards the bathroom door to try to find the source. It sounded like it was coming from the bedroom.

Sydney reappeared with a soft smile on her face and walked over to him, putting her hands on his shoulders and then moving them down to his chest. She leaned down with her hands and pressed a kiss to the back of his neck and then to the side of his neck as well. He leaned into her and moaned, deliriously happy with her attention.

"Come on…" she said as she moved to the front of him and grabbed his hand to pull him up.

She secured the towel around his waist and started to move with him back to the bedroom.

As they got closer to the door, the music became more distinct and louder; soft jazzy tones, tenor saxophone and keyboards. You couldn't dance to it; so he eliminated that option, the music was…sensual…

"Sydney…" he said.

She smiled, "Just keep moving…"

He did as she requested, intrigued with the playful look in her eye and the sexy smile she had plastered on her face, her dimples permanently etched at this point.

She crossed the threshold of the bedroom and stopped.

His eyes moved from hers to look around the room. The whole room was bathed in soft candlelight, little votive candles sat in clear glass cups, scattered all over the room. From his vantage point, the floor was covered with them, a continuous line from one end of the bed starting from the nightstand on the left side and going in a horseshoe to the other side, save for a break in the middle. There was a small circle of candles around each of the lamps on the nightstands and sets of votives shaped in hearts on the dresser. There was also a line of votives framing the door that led to the patio, all set strategically, placed with love and care.

She watched his reaction with interest as his eyes moved around the room, "Can you stand here for a minute?" she asked.

He looked at her in awe and all he could do was nod.

She smiled and made sure he was grounded and then moved away from him, walking around the candles to the nightstand. It was then that he saw the four oil burners on the front edges of both of the nightstands. The smell of vanilla permeated the room, intoxicating him to no end as he watched Sydney.

The smell of sulfur suddenly assailed his nose and the flicker of the small flame of the match rivaled the one in her eyes. The scent of something sweeter hit his nose after that, mixing in with the vanilla.

He looked at her, "Vanilla…and…cherry?" he asked.

She smiled, "Actually…it's French Vanilla and cherry," she answered in a seductive voice, "You like it?"

He looked at her pointedly, "Do you have to ask?"

She chuckled.

"Sydney…"

"Yeah?"

"Can you come over here before I fall over in shock?"

She smiled and sashayed back to him, "Why don't you come over here…" she said as she led him through the small opening in the candles that provided soft light for the room.

She sat down on the bed and had him stand in front of her, "Let's take this off," she said as she gripped the towel and gently pulled it off of his waist. She turned then and laid it on the bed. He looked behind her and saw that she had pillows laid out on the bed.

He raised an eyebrow and she smiled enticingly at him. "Lay down…" she said.

He smiled sheepishly, his cock already insanely hard, the combination of the candles and the smells, the music, and Sydney with her satisfied grin driving him wild with want.

He was going to sit on the bed but she shook her head, "No…on your stomach…"

He looked over at her strangely, "I don't know if…"

She smiled, "We're gonna give it a try…" she grabbed his hand, "Kneel first…"

He complied with her help and then she instructed him to lie down on the pillows. He winced slightly when his ribs hit the pillow, unaccustomed to the pressure without the wrap.

"You ok?" she asked gently, as she eased him down, not fully letting his body weight all rest on the pillows.

He nodded, remembering this position from the night when Tom had sedated him. Sydney modified this one however, moving him so his head wasn't on the pillow. His chest and ribs were well supported by the T-shaped pillow figuration, his arms out at his sides, his legs sprawled out on the bed, the pillow ending right where his rigid cock was begging for attention.

"Just relax…if it hurts too much we'll stop…"

She kept one hand on his shoulder and the other on his neck, rubbing lightly.

He closed his eyes and let her touch relax him.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah…I'm ok…"

"Can you lay like this?"

"Mmmhmm…"

"K, wait here a second…" she moved off of the bed and grabbed something off of the floor.

When she reappeared at his left side, he could see a bottle in her hands. She squirted some of the liquid from the bottle onto her hands and then worked it between her fingers. She moved then out of his line of view, but he soon felt her as she lowered herself onto him. She sat herself right on his ass, making him instantly harder. However, when he felt her hands slippery on his shoulders, his cock leapt even more.

He moaned but she stopped him, "Not yet honey…just relax…" she said soothingly as she began to work her hands on his shoulder muscles. She was extremely careful on his injured shoulder, but she managed to put more pressure on it then she thought she'd be able to. She worked her way down his arms, her body leaning against him as their hands met and briefly intertwined. He could feel her breath on his neck, the feel of her breasts, now free from the bra on his naked back as well.

She leaned back up and worked on his shoulders for a few more minutes before she moved to his neck, using her thumbs to dig her way around the around the beginning of his spine before moving onward down his back. She was careful to avoid any bandages, but knew full well that she'd have to change them all after this. The bandages would protect the wounds from the oil, but they'd get very messy.

She worked over every spot that wasn't covered with gauze, easing away tension that had built. She reached his lower back and began to move across it, hitting spots that she could visibly see were tense. She dug her thumbs around his spine on his lower back and his body tensed suddenly. She stopped for a moment, "Did that hurt you?" she asked.

"No," he said.

She waited a minute and then started again, moving away from that spot for the moment but coming back to it a few minutes later. She started on the spot again, and garnered the same reaction. She knew instantly what she'd hit. His body shuddered as she came back to the spot again and again.

He let out a soft cry when she returned to it once more, rubbing her thumb over the spot, "It's ok Vaughn," she said quietly.

She knew he was crying before he did, tension and stress falling with the tears.

"Shh…it's ok honey…just let it go…" she moved herself down again, rubbing her hand in his hair and laying her body on top of his, with her head on his back and moving her arms under his to hold his hands.

"It's ok to cry honey, I love you…let it out…" she kept up a string of soothing phrases until his body stopped it's torrent of emotion.

She sat up again when he stopped crying and moved back to the spot, starting her massage again. This time he was more responsive, it didn't cause him pain, but he moaned as the muscle gave way and allowed her to work the tension out of it.

"What was that?" he asked somewhat shocked.

She smiled and moved down again, her mouth next to his ear, "That's just the spot where you store all of your tension…everyone has one…now that I know where yours is…I can relieve your tension easier. It just happens…do you feel better? More relaxed?"

"Yeah…"

"Good…" she said and then moved past his spot downward to massage the globes of his ass.

He pushed his hips into the bed, the friction it created making him groan, the pressure from his weight on the bed deliciously pleasing.

She smiled when she saw his reaction, moving past his ass to his upper thighs. She got more oil and worked her hands all around his thighs, making him push into the bed again, as the sensations became too much.

She kept going, coming to his knees which set him off into a fury of giggles, "Sydney that tickles."

"I know," she said as she deliberately came back to his knees again.

She kept going, all the way to his calves and ankles, massaging his feet at the end of the bed. When she hit the pressure points on his feet he let out a throaty, deep groan radiating from somewhere deep in his chest.

When she had finished with his whole body, she started back towards the top, mimicking the trails she'd just completed, spending extra time on his tension spot.

He hummed as she reached his neck and shoulders again, his body now limp and relaxed, his breathing deep and peaceful.

"You gonna fall asleep on me?" she asked softly.

"God I hope not," he replied.

"You ready for round two?" she asked.

He picked his head up and looked at her sideways, "Round two?"

She smiled and produced another bottle. She opened it and poured a generous amount on her hands before retaking her spot on his ass and leaving the bottle within reach. She started on his shoulders again, rubbing gently, but there was something very different about this oil. He moaned as he felt a heat start to spread from Sydney's fingers all over his shoulders.

"Shit Sydney…"

She chuckled, "Mmmhmm…"

"What is that?"

"Cherry flavored oil, gets hot when heat is applied to it…"

"Cherry flavored?" he asked amused.

"Yeah," she said as she dipped down and licked a line from between his shoulder blades to his neck, "Mmm…cherry."

He let out a long groan as Sydney began to continue with the massage, the oil like fire blazing a trail across his skin. Wherever Sydney's hand moved, the fire went with her, sending shockwaves to his ignited cock. She made sure to spend a good amount of time rubbing the hot liquid on his back, letting the heat aid in releasing the tension. She would alternate her hands with her mouth, moving gently in and around the bandages that littered his back. She would rub some cherry oil on, rub her hand over it and then blow gently, making the oil that much more intense.

She found his tension spot and spent a few minutes lavishing it with attention, his back arching slightly as the hot fluid seemed to burn into his pores.

"Mmm…oh god Sydney…" was only one of the string of moans that issued from him as she made her way down his body.

"Vaughn," she said lowly, "Turn over…"

His head perked up when the statement sunk in. He reached out for her, letting her help support him as he turned over and lay on his back. Now, he could see Sydney; he could see whatever she was going to do to him.

She prepped her hands again and sat on his lower abdomen while she looked at him with a lustful grin.

She reached out her hands and trailed the oil over his chest, starting from the shoulders, and tracing down his collarbone. Flames of pleasure shot out from every part of skin that was touched with the oil

His head fell back as he tried to steady himself. However, when Sydney proceeded to rake her nails across the very chest that she has just prepped with oil, he cried out loudly, lost in the pleasure of her touch.

She smiled devilishly as she watched his reactions, and then made him cry out again when she rubbed the oil generously around his nipples and then tweaked them both at rapid speed. His nerve endings were inflamed instantly, the titillation reaching new heights as she bent down to roll each of the nipples between her lips. He arched upward when she smiled and bit down on him gently, her hands sprawled on his ribs, rubbing gently, easing the ache that the ribs continuously had. She continued on then after the nipples, moving down his body, her own becoming slick with the shared oil. She slid up and down his chest in gentle strokes and then reached down between his thighs and grasped his rock-hard cock, stroking in time with her movements.

His head pushed back into the pillow and his eyes squeezed tightly shut when the oil hit his cock. The feeling of the irritant oil burning into his cock was verging on insanity. His whole body was aflame, the root now stemming from his cock. She smiled as she moved down his body, sliding her way down until she rested between his legs. She let go of his cock momentarily, grabbing some more oil, but she kept up a steady flow of air to his cock.

"Ughn…" was about the only reply he could muster as her hot breath sent him into shudders.

She smiled satisfactorily as she bent back down then, taking one hand and rubbing it from base to tip, while fondling his balls with the other.

His hips bucked upwards, desperate for contact with her, a steady stream on incoherent mutterings now coming in full force as she sped him quickly towards orgasm. When she knew he was about to fall over the edge, she stopped and backed off, stroking more gently.

"Mmm…Vaughn…"

He managed to raise his head enough to look at her with blissful eyes, "Hmm…"

"We're far from done…" she said with a sexy smile.

He groaned and let his head fall back again, waiting to see what she had in store for him next.


	141. High Ho’ Silver!

Thank you for al1 the kind reviews

* * *

**Chapter 141: High Ho' Silver!**

_"Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy." – Groucho Marx _

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." – Henry Miller

"'Sex' is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other." – Marquis De Sade

"Making love? It's a communion with a woman. The bed is the holy table. There I find passion – and purification." – Omar Sharif

"The heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good." – Gabriel Garcia Marquez

* * *

She moved away from his cock, and sat up between his legs. She trailed her hand through his pubic hair and then let her hand, warm with oil rest on his abdomen. He felt a heat like never before spread outward from the spot, and radiate along every nerve in his body. 

She smiled, loving that she could make him turn into this complete ball of mush. He was so beyond gone, it wasn't even funny, but she had many plans left for the night.

She grabbed more oil and drizzled a small pool in his belly button. She dipped her pointer finger in the lotion and started to trace patterns on his abdomen, right above the line of his pubic hair. The patters became more deliberate as she asked seductively, "What am I drawing?"

It was hard enough to concentrate on anything when his skin was on fire all over, but making him try to determine what she was drawing was asking too much, "Mmm…fuck Sydney, I don't know…" he said, and then added a long, drawn out, "Ooo…" when her drawing took her deeper into the coarse hair.

"Guess…" she said playfully, but with a voice full of lust, "Tell me…"

"Mmm…Oh God…I…don't…know…" he said shaking his head.

"Concentrate…" she told him.

He attempted to focus on the motions, and finally figured out that they were letters she was tracing, "Mmm…shit…do it again," he said breathlessly.

She smiled and made a letter.

"M."

She smiled and repeated the next letter for him.

"I."

She traced again.

"N."

She smiled as she accentuated the last letter.

"E."

"What does that spell Vaughn?"

"Mine…it spells mine…"

"Mmmhmm…do you know why I would pick such a word?"

"Cause I'm yours?" he said with a lustful gleam.

"Yes, and because this," she said with a punctuated tug on his cock, "is mine…"

"Mmmmmm, all yours baby."

She smiled victoriously and wiped the excess oil off of his abdomen, "Ready for another?"

He groaned, wanting nothing more than to bury himself deep inside her, but he nodded anyway.

She smiled again and started to draw. He got lost in sensation somewhere in the middle.

"Ok, what did I spell this time?" she asked.

"I…don't know – I got lost…"

"I'll do it again."

"Sydney, please," he pleaded.

She paid him no heed and kept up the drawing, completing it a second time, "K – what did I spell?"

"Mmm…I…don't know," he said delirious awash in ambience.

She sighed, "Well…that's not good enough…you're going to have to try harder…should I give you a hint?" she asked.

He nodded, unable to speak again at this point.

She grabbed something from off the floor and he heard a cap pop off. His head was drawn to the sound, but nothing prepared him for the sight he saw.

Sydney held a can of spray whipped cream and proceeded to squirt it all over her breasts in circles, staring from the nipples and moving out in a swirling pattern.

"Ughn…Sydney…"

"You wanna guess what I wrote Vaughn?" she asked as she stared down at him.

"Oh God…" he said as he watched her.

She reached out her hand and tugged his to indicate that she wanted him to sit up. He complied and she helped him stand and move to the chair. The whole time they moved, all he could look at were her cream-covered breasts. All he could think about was devouring them.

She smiled seeing his reaction to the whipped cream, his cock straining, and eased him into the chair.

He reached out for her, trying to draw her closer so he could start to get the cream off her breasts, but she stopped him with her hand. She wordlessly stepped further into his spread legs and pushed his knees out further, then dropped, kneeling on the floor and took him in her mouth, priming him for what was to come.

With an evil glance at his eyes, groans a steady force rippling through him, she jutted her chest out, grabbed his cock and slid it between her whipped cream-covered breasts.

His hips instantly moved with her, slipping his cock between her silky breasts – made even silkier and smooth by the cream.

"My God Sydney…" he said as they picked up a rhythm. He would thrust forward and she would squeeze her breasts around him, the cream drizzling down her chest and stomach, past her pussy and pooling on the floor as they continued their motions.

If someone would have told him this was how he would be spending his night, he would have laughed his ass off, yet here they were, his cock pushing through her breasts, spreading whipped cream all over and making them both quite a mess, and it couldn't have been a more beautiful sight.

Sydney looked up at him, his face a haze of pleasure, and smiled as she dropped her chin to her chest and began to suck him into her mouth as he thrust. On every one of his upstrokes, she would take the tip into her mouth and suck lightly, before letting him pop out and do it all over again. She switched to licks next, teasing the tip with her tongue, making him shiver as his brain tried to sort out the difference between Sydney's warm mouth and the airy and milky cream that he was sliding against.

"Sydney…" he said, warning her that he was close.

She backed off, letting him slide out from between her breasts and then slowly licked the remaining cream off of his cock and balls. She licked the inside of his thighs, making him jump and shudder in the process.

"Come here…" he said to her as she sat back on her heals with a proud grin.

She complied and moved to stand between his legs. He pulled on her arm until she sat on his lap, his erection poking her back. He brought his mouth down to her breasts, licking away the cream that was left, swirling his tongue wildly around the nipples. She cupped the back of his head; her own chorus of moans starting to rise as he lavished attention on her breasts. He could taste himself mixed in with the cream, and it spurred him on even further. The fluffy cream and her soft and pliable breasts were a match made in heaven.

She sighed in ecstasy as he kept up the attention with his wonderful tongue and then pushed her back gently to stand so he could lick the rest of the cream that had drizzled its way down her stomach. He dipped a finger into her curls, and into her folds, bringing the mixture to his lips and smiled at her, daring her to keep going.

She accepted the dare in his eyes eagerly and pulled his hand, suggesting with her own mahogany eyes that they should continue the next part on the bed. He got up with her help and they moved back to the bed again. She positioned the pillows so he could sit up against the headboard and then stopped to look at him, "Did you guess what I wrote before?"

He smiled, "Mmm…dessert?"

She chuckled, "You're good…"

"Mmm…no baby, you are."

She leaned down and kissed him roughly, tasting all their mixed juices along with faint remnants of cherry and whipped cream. She moved so she was lying on top of him, but then surprised him when she shook her head and switched directions. He figured out real quickly what she was doing, and any questions about the method were quashed when she straddled him and impaled herself on his engorged cock suddenly.

"Uhn, shit…"

She smiled as she leaned back and braced the rest of her weight on her arms and slowly began to move herself on and off of him. His hand came to rest on her hip, holding onto her tightly, gripping to the point that she knew there'd be marks tomorrow.

He drew his knees up, giving her something else to hold onto and began to thrust in her deeply, raking his cock over her front wall again and again. She cried out at the shift in position as his cock hit her more directly. She began gripping him with her muscles the instant he started thrusting, feeling every inch, every vein, every part of his cock as it stretched her walls.

His cock felt like it was pushing into silk, rubbing against sensitive parts of her he'd never reached before. With her gripping him in her vice-like hold, he knew this wasn't going to last long; he'd been teased and primed way too much tonight to have this be slow and sensual, they had already done that. And judging from the low, guttural sounds Sydney was making and the way she was gripping his knees, he knew that she felt the same way.

After watching Sydney's back undulate in front of him for a few more minutes, he couldn't take anymore. "Sydney…are you close?" he asked.

She tried to answer with a nod, and he got the idea. He pulled her back to him, and attached his mouth to her neck, sucking on the pulse. She leaned into him, wrapping her hand around his head as she encouraged him.

He shifted his leg to help support her as his other hand gripped her thigh, pulling her down on him even harder. His cock surged inside her, at a new angle, rubbing a totally different spot on her front wall. She reached her hand down to worry her clit and screamed in rapture as her climax hit her, the combination of his cock plunging so deeply and his mouth sucking up and down her neck, nibbling and biting gently sent her pleasure to new heights.

She was clamping on him so tightly; it was a wonder that he could come at all. The need for release that had been building in him all night long, coupled with thoughts of red-hot cherry heat, sent him reeling over the edge. He came calling her name, spurting and spilling deeply inside her. She could feel the rush of his seed as it coursed into her, the sudden flush of liquid setting her off into another orgasm as he attached his mouth to her jugular once again. Her hand kept a steady pressure on his head, holding onto him for some kind of grounding as her body left the space of normal gravity and floated upward to the human version of celestial knowledge.

He held onto her as she came down, her head dropping back to rest on his good shoulder.

"My God Vaughn…"

"I know," he said softly, "And you…Jesus…when did you start planning this whole little escapade?"

Sydney smirked as she felt his breath hot against her neck, "Mmm…earlier today…I think when you were napping I started to think about it…began to strategize."

He chuckled, "I love how your mind works…I can't think of a better way to end a day like this…"

"I know…actually," she said as her eyebrows rose, "I can…"

"What's that?"

"We need a bath…and then I have to change the sheets again, get rid of all of this evidence before your mother walks in the door…"

Vaughn smiled, "Ok…"

She eased herself off of him, "You sure we didn't go too far tonight? Hurt you?"

He shook his head, "No, I'm ok…"

"Good…" she said as she smiled and looked at the candles around the room, half of which were extinguished or on the verge of.

She left him reclined on the bed and went to fill the tub. Once it was filled she came back for him, helping him stand and walk to the bathroom. She took off all the soiled bandages and eased him in and then got in the tub, sitting behind him.

They washed and then soaked for a while, just immensely happy to be sharing a bath together. She could tell he was getting tired, and rightly so considering all that had transpired in the last few hours.

She helped him out of the tub, replaced the bandages and the rib wrap and then helped him back to the bedroom where she planted him in the chair while she cleaned up.

She stripped the bed again and placed clean, cotton, burgundy sheets on the bed and then collected all the votive cups and set them aside for the night. She turned the bed down and turned on the light she always kept on, helped him brush his teeth and then helped him to bed.

"You know," she said as she positioned him comfortably, "you've gone most of the night without your oxygen…"

He smiled, "Yeah, I guess I have…"

"Were you out of breath?"

"Not really…"

"Do you wanna try to go tonight without it?"

"I can try…"

"Only if you want to…"

"I'll try it…"

"Ok sweetie," Sydney said as she tucked him in and got into bed with him, "Your mom must be having a really good time with Will and Francie. I wonder what they're doing?"

Vaughn smiled, "No clue…but I'm really happy they did…"

"Me too honey, me too."

They both drifted off quickly, exhausted, yet sated and relaxed.


	142. Reach Out and Touch Someone

**Chapter 142: Reach Out and Touch Someone **

_"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right." – Woody Allen _

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform." – Alfred Kinsey

"I can hear her heartbeat from a thousand miles / And the heavens open up every time she smiles  
And when I come to her that is where I belong / And I'm running through her like a rivers song  
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love / She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down / And I'm coming to her when the sun goes down  
Take away my troubles, take away my grief / Take away my heartaches in the night like a thief  
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love / She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
And I need her in the daytime ( I need her) / And I need her in the night ( I need her)  
And I want to throw my arms around her / Kiss and hug her, kiss and hug her tight  
When I'm returning from so far away / Gives me some sweet loving, brightens up my day  
And it makes me righteous and it makes me whole / And it makes me mellow right down to my soul  
She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love / She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love" – "Crazy Love" – Van Morrison

**

* * *

**

Sydney woke once during the night when Vaughn was coughing in his sleep. She smiled and replaced his oxygen and went back to sleep. When she woke in the morning, she was lying on Vaughn's shoulder and she could hear the faint noises of the other inhabitants of the house. She looked up at Vaughn, still peacefully sleeping and snuggled back into his embrace.

He woke a while later, gripping Sydney tighter as he woke.

"Morning," she said.

"Mmm, morning beautiful," he replied.

She smiled and leaned up to kiss him, "I think the night owls finally got in…"

He smiled, "Wonder where they went?"

"Don't know – we'll ask…you wanna eat breakfast with them – if they haven't eaten yet?"

"Sure."

"Ok, I'll go check," she said getting up.

"Sydney…"

"Yeah?" She said turning to him again.

"Last night…"

"I know sweetie," she said returning to the bed and sitting down with him. She looked at him seriously, debating about bringing her next point up, "Vaughn…I wanted to ask…just to make sure…" she looked away and then looked back at him again, "and I don't want to bring it up if you never thought about it…"

"What Sydney?"

"The oil…"

"Yeah…"

"The cherry oil…"

"Yeah…"

"Well…it burns…I just…wanted to make sure…"

He smiled, "I thought about it once, but I realized I was with you, I was safe…I was ok."

She smiled relieved, "Good…I thought about it to…I didn't want to scare you…"

"No, it was nice Sydney, my last few experiences with fire have been much more pleasant, I'm good…"

She beamed, "Good," and kissed him before she got off the bed again.

"Syd, can we eat out there?"

"Like at the table? Or on the couch?"

"Table."

"Sure, if you can sit there…"

"I wanna try."

"Ok," she said with a smile, opening the door and walking out quietly.

"Hey!" Will said as Sydney emerged from the bedroom, "The quiet ones finally wake…"

Sydney smiled, "The night owls finally make it home…where did you guys go?"

"Did you miss us?" Will asked.

"Oh yeah…terribly," Sydney said with a note of sarcasm.

Will smiled back at her while Francie answered, "We had a great day – we went to Descanso, then the California Wok for dinner, and then the Hollywood Bowl."

"That sounds like fun."

Amélie nodded, "They were very entertaining, and the Hollywood Bowl was wonderful."

Will rolled his eyes, "Yeah…it was great."

Francie smacked his arm, "You liked it – plus we went to the Wok for you…"

"It wasn't bad – and the eggrolls were superb," Will said with a grin, "And! We ran into Tom and Kaia – Kaia loves eggrolls…like A LOT…"

Sydney chuckled, "That's fun…sounds like you guys had a great day."

"We did…what did you guys do?" Francie asked.

"We did absolutely nothing ALL DAY LONG…it was glorious," Sydney said with a whimsical look.

"Nothing, huh?" Will asked, "Then…um…what is that–" he remarked, pointing to her neck.

Francie cut him off with another smack to the shoulder. Amélie smirked.

Sydney shook her head, "You have no tact Will…"

He smiled, "That's why you love me – Amélie loves me – she thinks I'm charming."

Amélie smiled, "He is a delightful boy."

"Oh yes, DE-lightful…" Sydney said as she and Francie giggled, "Did you guys eat already?"

"No, I was going to make brunch in a minute," Francie told her.

"Great…we'll join you."

"Cool," Will said, "Mike feeling better today?"

"Yeah, he's better."

Amélie smiled, happy to hear that her son was doing better.

"You guys stay right here," she said as Francie started to make brunch.

She ran off to the bedroom and smiled at him, "Ready to make your appearance?"

He nodded and Sydney quickly changed both of their clothes, dressing comfortably.

She helped him stand and started to walk out to the kitchen. Everyone was quiet, not wanting to break their concentration or do something that would hinder their progress.

Sydney eased Vaughn into the chair and he looked at the other people in the house as Sydney sat down next to him.

"What?" he asked.

Amélie smiled, "You're at the table Michael…"

"Yes…"

She got up off of her chair and moved over to him, embracing him in a warm hug and kissing his forehead. He hugged her back, knowing that she needed to do that, and realizing he needed it as much as she did.

When she was satisfied that she'd hugged him long enough, she sat back down and they resumed normal conversation.

Brunch was enjoyable and relaxed, and Vaughn managed to sit through the whole meal.

Afterwards, Sydney helped him move to the couch, and brought the medicine bottles with her. She opened the bottles and said, "Uh oh…"

Vaughn looked up at her, "What?"

"We need refills," she said showing him that there were only a few left in each of the bottles. "The antibiotic is ok…but not the pain pills…I'll have to go to the store…"

"Mmm…ok," he said.

"You be ok?"

"Yeah…I'll be ok."

Sydney looked over at Amélie, "You wanna come with me? Vaughn needs pill refills…"

Amélie smiled, "Sure."

Sydney smiled and grabbed her coat, and waited for Amélie to meet her at the door. She kissed Vaughn and blew him a kiss from the doorway, making a phone sign with her fingers on her way out.

He smiled, "Bye girls…"

Sydney flipped the radio to a soft rock station as they cruised towards the store.

Amélie smiled at her and started to talk softly, "I didn't want to say anything in front of Michael, but he seems to be doing better today…"

Sydney smiled, "Yeah, he is…"

"Is he really?"

"Yes. We spent a lot of time talking yesterday…it was good for both of us."

"Did he tell you what happened?"

"Yes he did."

Amélie pressed, "What did happen?"

Sydney's brow furrowed, "Well…she said some things to make him lose control…and he attacked her, but she talked him down…I really think it helped him, he's like a different person…his walls are down…"

"What did she say?"

Sydney sighed, "I'd really like to tell you, but I think that's more up to Michael…he needs to tell you himself when he's ready…" She glanced over at Amélie, "I'm not trying to keep things from you, I just…I don't think it's my place to say anything…I don't betray his trust…ever."

Amélie smiled, "That's the way it should be, I'm glad you won't tell me…does that make sense?"

Sydney smiled, "Yes, it does."

"And it's nice to know he's taken care of…that makes this mother very happy."

"How were you? I know it must have been hard, and I'm sorry that we couldn't talk earlier."

"No," Amélie said, "You needed to take care of Michael, and after I got over the initial shock, and came to terms with the fact that Michael is not as well as I think he is, I was ok…I'm dealing with it better now."

"Good…did you have fun with Will and Francie?"

"Oh yes, they are delightful, very fun. Will is adorable, Francie is very sweet…they were very nice, we had a great day."

"Michael and I did too."

"Good," Amélie said with a nod.

Sydney and Amélie arrived at the store and marched to the pharmacy counter.

"Hi," Sydney said cordially.

"Hello," a pharmacist with the nametag 'Mark' replied, "What can I do for you?"

Sydney dug in her bag, "I need these prescriptions refilled."

Mark took the bottles and took a minute to read them, "Ok…it'll be about a half hour…"

"Ok," Sydney said and then turned to Amélie, "What do you want to look at?"

Amélie thought a minute, "Hmm…I think I'll look at the shoes, I've been meaning to get a new pair for when I'm gardening."

"Ok," Sydney replied, "I'm going to go look at the clothes, grab a few other things…should we meet back here in a half hour?"

"Sounds like a plan," Amélie said with a smile, starting off in her own direction.

Sydney started off towards the men's clothing, and grabbed her cell phone out of her purse as she walked over.

Vaughn was sitting on the couch, watching TV when the phone next to him rang. He let it ring a half of a ring, knowing who it was, "Hey sexy…"

She chuckled, "Hey baby…how're you doing?"

"I'm ok…"

"Francie and Will treating you alright?"

"Yeah…they're great."

"Good…so, I'm at the store now…and I'm standing in front of all these shirts…I'll describe them and then you tell me which one you think you'd like best, ok?"

"Ok."

"Ok, here goes…there's one that's a dark red," she said fingering the shirt, "actually, I'd call it more maroon, and it's got like…plaid…never mind, no way…"

He chuckled, "Ok…"

"Let's check the other side of the rack, shall we?"

"Yeah…that's a good idea…"

"K, we got green…light green and dark, that'd bring out the color of your eyes," she said hinting, but he didn't take the bait.

"I like blue…and orange…"

"Well, they are complementary colors on the color wheel honey, but I don't know that I'm gonna find a shirt with them both…" she went to another rack, "Oh, hey, here's one…it's a kinda darker sky blue and it has little orange patterns on it…"

"Is it hideous?"

She laughed, "No…it's nice…I like it…"

"If you like it, I'm sure it's fine…but you don't need to buy me any more clothes Syd."

"I know…but I want to…we're shopping here, ok?"

"Yeah, ok…"

"K, what else? You need any tee shirts? I think you need a new white one…why don't I just get the three pack…" she said, not really letting him answer.

He chuckled again.

"What about boxers? Socks?"

"Hang on Sydney…I don't need all that stuff…"

"Ok…" she said drawing the word out, pouting. She had an evil idea, "Hey – are Will and Francie around?"

"Yeah – they're around."

"No, I mean like around like within your vicinity…"

He craned his neck, "No…why?"

"Where are they?"

"I don't know…I think Will's walking Donovan, Francie, laundry maybe?"

"Hmm…"

"Why?"

"What are you wearing?" she asked, in a more hushed tone.

"What I am I wearing? Sydney, you know what I'm wearing, you helped me get it on this morning…I'm wearing a blue tee shirt and boxers and sweatpants…why do you–" he stopped, punching in, "Is my mom there?"

She smiled into the phone, "No…So…what are you wearing?"

"Uh…I'm wearing boxers and a smile," he said, looking around the room, making sure that Will and Francie were nowhere to be seen and then hunkered down on the couch some more, "What are you wearing?" he asked in an equally hushed tone.

"Mmm…I'm wearing a white lace bra and bikini panties…they're g-string…" she let the visual sink in, "What are you doing?"

"I'm just sitting here, waiting for you babe…"

She smiled, "Mmm…well…I might not be home for awhile…you miss me?"

"Terribly…" he said, and she could tell that wasn't part of their new game.

"Oh…poor baby…I'll have to take care of that when I get back, but what to do with you before I get home?"

"Can't imagine…" he breathed out.

She could tell he was getting extremely turned on, "You know…I'm over here looking at the boxers…I'm not sure any of these would fit you…you're far too BIG for any of these…"

"Oh God Sydney…" he said, his head hitting the arm of the couch.

She smiled, "You like that?"

"Mmm hmm…"

"Michael?"

"Uh…yeah?"

"Can you hold the phone and still have a…hand…"

"Uhn…yeah…I think so…"

"Try it…"

He fumbled with the phone momentarily, moving on the couch so the pillow trapped the phone between his head and his shoulder, pressing it against his ear. That meant his right hand was free.

"Ok…"

"You have a free hand…to roam?"

"Yeah…"

"Good…you said you had boxers and nothing else on right?" she said teasing him, knowing he'd have to work around the sweatpants.

"Yeah…"

"Good…I want you to take your hand and reach down into your boxers…"


	143. Can You Hear Me Now? Good

**Chapter 143: Can You Hear Me Now? Good. **

_"Life has always taken place in a tumult without apparent cohesion, but it only finds its grandeur and its reality in ecstasy and in ecstatic love." – Georges Bataille _

"A man's eroticism is a woman's sexuality." – Karl Kraus

"Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize." – Rex Harrison

"The more developed sexual passion, in both sexes, is very largely an emotion of power, domination, or appropriation. There is no state of feeling that says ''mine, mine,'' more fiercely." – Charles Horton Cooley

"I am, I must confess, suspicious of those who denounce others for having ''too much'' sex. At what point does a ''healthy'' amount become "too much?'" – Edmund White

**

* * *

**

He moved his hand from where it lay on his abdomen under the sweatpants and the elastic band of the boxers, "Ok."

"Touch yourself…"

"Mmm…"

"Only do what I say…ok?"

"Yeah…ok…"

She smiled, this was going to be too much fun, "Ok Michael," she said, letting his name roll off her tongue, knowing it would drive him insane, "I want you to make one stroke…from the base to the tip. Grip your cock with your hand at the base and make one stroke all the way to the tip…"

She heard him groan and knew that words might be escaping him at the moment.

"Good…now stroke down from tip to base…"

She heard another groan.

"Too slow?" she asked, rounding the corner of the men's wear and moving towards the women's clothing.

"Mmm hmm…"

"Ok, I'm gonna let you stroke a little bit…I'll tell you when to stop…"

She didn't hear any reply, but assumed he was complying so she looked at a few items on the rack while he obeyed.

He stroked himself, fisting his cock quickly, just as Sydney had told him. She let him do it for about a minute.

"Ok…now stop…but keep a grip on your cock…"

His hand stilled.

"Reach under your cock and feel your balls…" her voice got a little quieter as she walked from the women's section, "Got em?" she asked.

"Yeah…" he said breathily.

"Roll them between your fingers."

His hips bucked as he fondled his balls, arching off the couch as he moaned again.

She loved hearing his moans over the phone, wishing she were there to watch, but loving the fact that she couldn't at the moment.

"Now I want you to pull gently…each one…individually…" she waited a few moments, "you like that?"

"Yeah…"

"You hard?"

"Extremely…" he said on the next breath out.

She smiled at his breathy sounds, and almost giggled when she saw that she had wandered into the children's clothing section. She looked up and a little boy was staring at her, eyes huge, mouth open wide. Her smile faltered as the mother of the boy asked him, "Peter? What's wrong?"

"Mommy, I wanna ball…"

"Well, there aren't any balls over here sweetie, we'll have to go to the toy section."

"But that lady," Peter said as he pointed to Sydney, "She just told someone on the phone to grab the balls…"

Sydney bolted from the children's section, half giggling, half completely embarrassed. Thank God neither the kid nor the mother knew her.

She walked to the bedding aisles and peeked to make sure no one was around this time.

"How you doin?" she asked slightly breathlessly.

"Mmm…"

"You still rolling them?"

"Yeah…"

"Stroking?"

"Yeah…"

"Ok…here's what I want you to do…" she paused, "I want you to imagine that I'm right there…close your eyes…"

"Mmm…"

She smiled, "Keep stroking your balls and then when you feel ready…move up to your cock…when you get there…let me know…"

She paused again, letting him get started and then continued, "Ok, I'm right there…I'm running my hands up your legs…feel me?"

"Uh huh…"

"The hairs on the back of your neck are starting to stand up and I can feel your legs shudder as I move towards your cock…"

She waited a minute, smiling as a worker went past her. Once the worker was out of sight, she started again, moving to the fabrics.

"Where is your hand?"

"On my balls…"

"Still there?" she asked, chuckling.

"You're taking your time…"

She smiled, "Yes, I am…slowly working my way up your thighs…leaning over…you can feel my breath next to your cock…"

"Yeah…it's warm…and it tickles…"

She smiled, oh yeah; she totally had him now, "Tickles, huh? Well…we'll see if it tickles when I grab your cock…grab it…"

He did as he was told, moaning as his hand gripped his throbbing and enlarging cock.

"Stroke," she said.

One word was all it took, and his hand began to move, alternating gripping and stroking. His breath was becoming ragged and it was delicious to hear over the phone.

"You stroking?"

"Uh huh…"

"K…now stop…and grip the base…hard…"

"Uhhhnnn…"

She smiled, "now move to the tip…pinch it…"

"Oh God…"

She moved from fabrics to furniture, looking over the bookshelves and desks.

"Move right below the head…got it…"

"Yeah…"

"Pinch there too…"

She couldn't describe the sound that came from him, it was somewhere between a moan and a sound of complete bliss, but whatever it was, it turned her on immensely as well. She could feel the wetness starting to soak through her panties.

"I'm wet Michael…can you tell?"

He responded with another groan.

"I want you to move your hand away from your cock…"

"Uhnnn…why?"

"Just do it…"

He complied, taking his hand away.

"What is your cock doing?"

"Throbbing…" he said as he could feel it begin to twitch, "if it has a mind of its own, it wants me to touch it again…"

She laughed, "Soon, baby, soon…move your hand underneath your shirt…"

He complied.

"Is it under your shirt?"

"Yeah…"

"Good…my hands are moving away from your cock…moving up to your chest…feel 'em?"

"Uh huh…"

"They're tracing a path up your chest, past your abdomen, past the ribs…right to your nipples…"

"Uhh…"

"Stroke them too…" she waited, moving to the light section, "Pinch…"

"Uhhhhnnnn…"

She smiled, God she loved his reactions, "Ok…how's our friend?"

"Uhhhnnnnn…still wants to be touched…can I touch it?"

Ah…control… "Yes…you can touch it…grip it hard Michael."

He groaned again, "Syd…"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I can last much longer…"

"Ok…just keep it up a few more minutes…you tell me what's happening…Stroke…"

He did so, moaning, moving his hips in rhythm with his hand.

"Pinch below the head again Michael…"

"Uhhhnnn…God…I'm so close…"

"Ok…you getting harder?"

"Yeah…"

"Is it hot?"

"Yeah…"

"Reach down one more time to your balls…feel them…are they ready?"

"Yeah…they…uh…"

"What sweetie?"

"They're tensing…"

"Good…"

"Syd…" he said breathily.

"I'm right here baby…I'll talk you through…"

"I'm ready…"

"Go ahead honey…come for me…come Michael…"

She could hear a long series of moans before a rather loud groan, and she knew he had come.

"Good honey…let it all out…come for me…come hard Michael…"

When she said that, she heard him moan again, and she knew that he had come more.

"Vaughn?"

He was completely breathless. Sydney's voice egging him on and encouraging him proved too much when combined with his own hand motions. He tried to calm himself, his cock still throbbing slightly as the last few spurts of milky semen pushed their way out of the head of his cock and down his hand. The one coherent thought that moved through his sex-addled brain was that he'd need to change at some point, because his boxers were seriously wet. He had a passing thought wondering if Sydney had put black sweat pants on him for this reason, so the moisture wouldn't show through…It took him a moment to register that Sydney was calling him, "Uhn…yeah?"

"I'll be RIGHT home…do NOT move…got it?"

"I'll be right here…not going anywhere…although I may be asleep by the time you get here…"

She chuckled, "How about I keep talking to you then…"

"Ok…"

She moved quickly through the store, walking back to the pharmacy. She smiled at Mark and he walked over with her bag of pill bottles.

"Ok, you just need to sign here…" he said and was about to start explaining the drugs.

"It's ok," Sydney said, "They're refills, I know all about 'em." She grabbed the bag and took off trying to find Amélie. "Stay with me…just gotta find your mom and check out honey."

"You've been at the store this whole time?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah…I made my rounds through the whole store…" she chuckled, "And I totally gave some little boy a sex complex, I'm sure…"

"Oh my God!"

"I know…"

She finally located Amélie, "You ready?" she asked.

Amélie smiled and nodded, "Is that Michael?"

"Yes, it is…"

"Tell him I say hi."

"Your mom says 'hi' Vaughn."

"Ugh…if I could think, I'd say 'hi' back. Please tell me that she didn't hear any of that."

"No, she didn't…" Sydney said chuckling and then turned to Amélie, "He says 'hi' back."

Amélie smiled and paid for her purchases and Sydney paid for hers as well, smiling and grabbing something from the candy display in the lane with another evil thought, and the two ladies made their way to the car, "You still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here…" he said taking a deep breath.

"Good…did you like that?"

"God Syd…that was…that was…WOW…"

"Good!" She smiled at Amélie and took her bags to put in the truck as she got in the passenger side. Sydney put the bags in the car and then closed the trunk and talked quietly, "You sounded like you came really hard…"

"Yeah, you could say that," he said with a smile, "Are you saying that in front of my mother?"

"No…she's in the car…I'm outside the car for the moment, being covert…"

He chuckled, "Good, let's spare her…"

"Are you messy?" she asked with a hint of mischief.

"Uh…yeah…I guess a little…or a lot…but…well…it's contained…"

"We'll take care of that when I get home…we'll figure out a way to get your mother out of the room…where the hell are Will and Francie? Not that I would have wanted them to walk in on you or anything, but what if you needed something?"

"Well, I'm sure if I would have called, they would have rushed right over…" he said.

"Yeah…I suppose…"

"Plus, I think it works better this way…" he said with another grin.

"Yeah, I'll be right there…can I hang up? You gonna be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll stay awake."

"Ok, see you in a few minutes."

"K…thanks Syd."

"That was fun…I love you."

"I love you too…and that was amazing…"

She smiled, "Bye honey."

"Bye baby."

They both hung up, Sydney got in the car and kept a happy and satisfied grin on her face all the way home. Thankfully, Amélie didn't inquire about its source.

Vaughn rested his head on the couch and thought about the wonderful woman who would even keep him occupied when she went to fill his medications. He couldn't wait until she got home…


	144. Strawberry Fields Forever

**Chapter 144: Strawberry Fields Forever **

_"When the moonlight crawls along the street / Chasing away the summer heat  
Footsteps outside somewhere below / The world revolves, I've let it go  
We build our church above the street / We practice love between these sheets  
The candy sweetness scent of you / It bathes my skin, I'm stained in you  
And all I have to do is hold you / There's a racing within my heart / And I am barely touching you  
Turn the lights down low / Take it off / Let me show / My love for you Insatiable  
Turn me on / Never stop / Wanna taste every drop / My love for you Insatiable  
The moonlight plays upon your skin / A kiss that lingers takes me in  
I fall asleep inside of you / There are no words there's only truth  
Breathe in breathe out / There is no sound / We move together up and down  
We levitate, our bodies soar / Our feet don't even touch the floor  
And nobody knows you like I do / Cause the world they don't understand / That I grow stronger in your hands  
Turn the lights down low / Take it off / Let me show / My love for you Insatiable  
Turn me on / Never stop / Wanna taste every drop / My love for you Insatiable  
Turn the lights down low / Take it off / Let me show / My love for you Insatiable  
Turn me on / Never stop / Wanna taste every drop / My love for you is Insatiable  
We never sleep we're always holdin' hands / Kissin' for hours, talkin', makin' plans  
I feel like a better man / Just being in the same room  
We never sleep there's just so much to do / So much to say  
Can't close my eyes when I'm with you / Insatiable the way I'm loving you  
Turn the lights down low / Take it off / Let me show / My love for you Insatiable  
Turn me on / Never stop / Wanna taste every drop / My love for you Insatiable  
Turn the lights down low / Take it off / Let me show / My love for you Insatiable  
Turn me on / Never stop / Wanna taste every drop / My love for you is Insatiable" – "Insatiable" – Darren Hayes _

"Oh desert speak to my heart / Oh woman of the earth  
Maker of children who weep for love / Maker of this birth  
'til your deepest secrets are known to me / I will not be moved / I will not be moved  
"Don't try to find the answer / When there ain't no question here  
Brother let your heart be wounded / And give no mercy to your fear"  
Adam and eve live down the street from me / Babylon is every town  
It's as crazy as it's ever been / Love's a stranger all around  
In a moment we lost our minds here / And lay our spirit down  
Today we lived a thousand years / All we have is now  
Run to the water / And find me there  
Burnt to the core but not broken / We'll cut through the madness  
Of these streets below the moon / These streets below the moon  
And I will never leave you  
'Til we can say/ "This world was just a dream  
We were sleepin' now we are awake"  
'Til we can say  
In a moment we lost our minds here / And dreamt the world was round  
A million mile fall from grace / Thank God we missed the ground  
Run to the water / And find me there  
Burnt to the core but not broken / We'll cut through the madness  
Of these streets below the moon / With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts  
Yeah, I can see it now lord / Out beyond all the breakin' of waves  
And the tribulation / It's a place and the home of ascended souls  
Who swam out there in love!  
Run to the water / And find me there  
Burnt to the core but not broken / We'll cut through the madness  
Of these streets below the moon / With a nuclear fire of love in our hearts  
Rest easy baby, rest easy / And recognize it all as light and rainbows  
Smashed to smithereens and be happy / Run to the water (and find me there)  
Run to the water" – "Run to the Water" – Live

**

* * *

**

Sydney sped home, hoping she wasn't being overly obvious to Amélie. When she parked the car, she jumped out and practically ran to the door, trying to look calm as she reached out her hand for the doorknob. On the inside though, she was a ball of emotion – joy, exhilaration, satisfaction, glee, pride, lust, and a little fear mixed in.

When she pushed it open, her eyes floated to Vaughn's form. He was reclining on the couch, his body relaxed to the outside viewer, his head resting on the arm of the couch, his right hand behind his head, propping his head up, his head turned towards some sports shit on ESPN. He looked over at her when he heard the door open, a huge, sexy smirk on his face. He was doing a good job of masking his condition, but she could see the longing in his eyes, the pent up emotions.

"Hey baby," he said nonchalantly.

"Hi honey," she replied, moving past the door to let Amélie in.

"Hi mom," he said.

"Hello Michael…did you miss us?"

"Oh yeah…terribly," he said.

She smiled, "Good…"

Sydney moved to the couch and sat on the edge, giving Vaughn a long and sensuous kiss that made up for her lack of presence the last time he came.

They were grinning like idiots when Francie came springing up the basement stairs loudly, shouting into her cell phone, "What? WHAT!? You have GOT to be shitting me! Come on Paul…it's my day off…NOT on my day off…no…NO! Aww…goddamnit!" she huffed into the phone, "I can't believe they pulled the day before!" She shook her head, "Fine…call everyone…tell them they have to come in if they want a job come next week. Yeah, that's what I said." She hung up and pressed the phone to her head, "UGH!"

"Fran?" Sydney asked.

Francie looked over at her, "I can't believe it…Belladonna Floral just totally backed out of the catering job for tomorrow. Now I have to try to scramble and find someone else…damnit…" she stomped off to the patio door and yelled, "WILL!"

Will appeared at the door a few seconds later, with Donovan trotting beside him, a tennis ball in his mouth, "Yeah?"

"You have to help me – Belladonna's just backed out – I gotta scramble…save me."

"Ok, just chill, we'll deal…um…what's that florist on main?"

"Shit they'll never do it."

Amélie cleared her throat, "Francie…do you have the flowers?"

"No…but I can get them, why?"

"I can help with the arrangements…"

"You can?" Francie said with a smile.

"Yes."

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, his eyes flashing as they met hers, this would be perfect…she could see the same thought running through his mind.

"You would be SUCH a lifesaver…really, do you mind?"

"No, not at all, I love flowers…" Amélie said with a smile.

"OK! Let's go!" Francie said making a motion for the two to follow her.

"Bye guys," Will said as he followed his girlfriend out the door.

"Bye!" Francie yelled halfway to the car.

Amélie smiled and waved and Sydney and Vaughn were alone a few minutes after she had gotten back.

"Well…that was convenient…" Sydney said with a smile.

"Very well timed," Vaughn agreed.

"Shall we get started? Cleaning this mess you've made?"

"I made? I think YOU had something to do with it too…"

Sydney leaned down and devoured his mouth, "God, when I was in the store…I SO wanted to be here watching you…"

He raised an eyebrow, "Watching me while you talked?"

"Yeah…"

"Mmm…that could work…"

"You'd do that? Really?"

"Will you return the favor?" he asked with a lusty grin.

She smiled, "Yeah…"

He smiled and pulled her down to him, kissing her roughly again, "You know…I don't know if you planned it or not, but these black sweatpants – yeah – SO good at hiding evidence."

She chuckled, "Well, it wasn't my intent, but it worked nicely."

"Yes it did."

"Shall we?" she asked as she brought her hand down to cover his cock through the sweatpants, "Little moist down here…how much did you come?" she asked

He smirked, "I think the boxers are gonna have to be tossed…"

"Really?"

"Yeah…really, plus I had to wipe my hand on something…"

She giggled, "Wow, that really turned you on…"

"No shit."

"K, let's get you to the bathroom…and take care of this…sticky situation."

"You're so bad," he said as she helped him stand and walk to the bathroom.

She stood him in front of the chair and stripped the pants and the sticky boxers off of him, smiling the whole time. She loved knowing that she had made him come just from her talking to him on the phone; it was not only sexy, but also incredibly ego boosting.

He stepped out of the items, and Sydney sat him down in the chair. She stood to grab a washcloth and wet it with warm water and then knelt between his spread legs and began to wipe away the post-orgasmic evidence. He marveled at how she could take something like this and make it gentle, running the washcloth tenderly over his cock and balls, ridding his thighs of the caked on remains of their telephonic interlude.

She smiled softly at him, and he lifted her chin momentarily, "I love you."

"I love you too," she said as she stood and kissed him, then threw the washcloth into the hamper and helped him stand again and led him to the bedroom, sans pants.

She sat him on the bed and had him recline against the headboard, "Stay," she said.

He nodded and stayed on the bed, somewhat amused by her demeanor and his lack of pants, but he knew she'd remedy that later in some capacity.

"Ok, here's what I got ya'," she began, and set a few bags on the bed. She dug in the bag and produced the shirt that she had talked to him about, "So…you like it?"

He smiled, "It's really nice…nice blue…"

"Good," she said, digging in the bag again, "And I picked this one…" she said holding up another shirt, sage in color, "What about this one?"

"It's nice…"

"Nice as in you think it's butt-ugly, or nice as in you like it?"

He laughed, "Nice as in I like it."

She nodded, "Then I got more socks and stuff–"

He cut her off, "Sydney, I told you I didn't need all that stuff…"

She held up a few new pairs of boxers, "Well…"

"Ok, maybe those…but not all that other stuff."

"Shush, I wanna spoil you…"

He lifted his arm in defeat, "Ok…"

She smiled and put the bag on the floor next to the other bags that she had yet to empty, save for one thing, which she kept hidden from his view. She hid it in an accessible spot, albeit one that he couldn't see…She approached the bed again and sat down on his legs, reaching for his sling, and gently eased it off of his shoulder. She gently pulled his shirt over his head and then stopped to smile at him seductively as she started to remove pieces of her own clothing.

He sat back and watched in wonder as she peeled articles off, revealing skin to him in a puzzle piece manner.

She loved it that he enjoyed watching her so much, that he got hard while watching her. She was equally enthralled watching his cock rise when she started undressing; being able to physically see his reaction made it mean so much more.

She crawled back up the bed on all fours, keeping him in sight like a cat stalking its prey, and damn, he was some nice looking prey…She continued on in between his spread legs, the objective of her mission lay dead ahead. She dipped her head down and trailed her tongue along his leg, then switched to the other side. When she reached his thighs, she began to suck the flesh there into her mouth, leaving little red marks dotting the whole area. His hips were already beginning to buck and when she sucked on one spot for longer than she intended, he let out a small yelp.

"You ok?" she asked with a smile, "Cause I'm just returning your favor," she said as she craned her neck to the side so he could see the evidence of his own marks. "Just be glad yours won't be as visible…"

Before he had a chance to respond, her mouth was on him, sucking roughly on the head of his cock, while her other hand dove down for his balls. She kneaded and squeezed him roughly along with her mouth, but she knew from his moans that it wasn't hurting him. His hips started a slow thrusting pattern as she looked up at him while sucking on the tip.

Their eyes burned into each other, full of lust and love, as Sydney changed gears and brought both hands up to Vaughn's cock, one holding him still at the base, the other moving along the shaft before she pinched the head.

His hips bolted off the bed, bring a huge smile to her face.

"Shit...Syd…"

She smiled and did it again, eliciting the same reaction. She kept her fingers locked gently around the tip, the pre-cum oozing around her fingers and moved the second hand down to roll and separate his balls.

"Mmm…"

She loved making him do this, it wasn't about power, although she knew she had it, it was just the idea that she could extract such emotion, such sensation, such reaction from him, all with her hands, her mouth, her body.

She looked up at him and made sure he was meeting her gaze and then she dipped her head down again and began to lick her way around his cock. She moved her hand on the shaft to where ever she wasn't licking, gripping, pulling; creating a myriad of different feelings. She kept her eyes locked as she began to lick the tip, like she was licking the top of an ice cream cone, on the side, to the top, on the side, to the top.

His eyes fell closed momentarily, but he forced them open again, not wanting to miss any of her performance.

He watched as she broke away from the licking of the head and moved her face down to the base of his cock. She licked her way all along the vein on the underside, tortuously deliberate, before ending up back at the head, dipping the point of her tongue into the spot right under the crown of his cock.

He let out a guttural cry and she knew that he was close to release. While keeping her mouth on him, she reached for her surprise and quietly ripped open the package. She moved her hand to his shaft while she took her mouth momentarily away and dumped the contents of the package in her mouth. She waited until the tiny candy pieces softened slightly and then opened her mouth and took the head in again.

"Fuck me," he said in a broken voice as his cock was assailed with the tiny explosions that the delightful Pop Rocks produced. His hips thrust erratically the second after she introduced the candy. His moaning became a continuous hum with the Pop Rocks detonating around his cock. His balls tensed immensely, his orgasm tenuously eminent when Sydney stepped it up even more. She covered her teeth with her lips and gripped behind the head hard; his hips lurched, sending him shuddering into climax.

Sydney braced herself as she felt the pressure in him rise, and couldn't think of anything better than his beautiful man having an orgasm. She loved to watch the torrent of emotion as it crossed his face, and knowing that she had something to do with putting it there. His semen hit the back of her throat like a jackhammer, salty and sweet and potent, a completely different taste than normal as he mixed with the strawberry flavor of the Pop Rocks.

She waited until his hips and breathing slowed, waited until the last drop was forced out of his head, and then licked the head clean, swirling her tongue around the slit and all around the head, dipping once again under the crown and eliciting a few aftershocks and shudders, complete with several more secretions of milky fluid.

She let him slip from her mouth and grasp, looking up at the matted hair and the slight sheen of sweat on his chest. She smiled at him and he grinned back, momentarily unable to form coherent words.

She moved up the bed and snuggled close to him, resting her head on his chest.

After several minutes of respite, he finally began, "Holy fuck…"

She smiled and giggled, "You like that?"

"Holy fuck…"

"You said that."

"That's about all I can manage…holy fuck! Where on earth did you pick that up?"

"Umm…well…I kinda just had an image while standing in the checkout line…talking to you after just having phone sex…"

"Wow…you are amazing…why are you so good to me?"

"Because I love you…and you're an amazing person yourself."

"I love you too…thank you just doesn't seem to cover it, ya know?"

She smiled, "The look on your face – that covered it."

He smiled back at her, "Really…"

"I know honey, I know."

He smiled and hugged her tighter, never letting go…


	145. Flower Power

**Chapter 145: Flower Power **

_"You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel goof about your life – so that if it were over tomorrow, you'd be content with yourself." – Jane Seymour _

"If a man carefully examines his thoughts he will be surprised to find how much he lives in the future. His well-being is always ahead." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If you give your life as a wholehearted response to love, then love will wholeheartedly respond to you." – Marianne Williamson

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get – only with what you are expecting to give – which is everything." – Katherine Hepburn

"Artichokes…are just plain annoying…After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." – Miss Piggy

**

* * *

**

Sydney and Vaughn stayed wrapped together for a while before getting redressed. They'd pushed the envelope a few times already today, and neither cared to explain to their friends or his mother the reasons why they were laying in bed naked.

"Well, I don't know how long they'll be gone," Sydney said as she helped him with his shirt, "but I'm getting hungry…why don't I call and see how long they think they're gonna be."

He nodded and reclined back sleepily.

She took in a sideways glance at him and smiled at his exhaustion. She was just about to tease him when Francie answered on the other end of the line, "Francie's House of Insanity," she drawled.

Sydney chuckled, "How's it going?"

Francie sighed, "Well…it's insane…but I swear, Amélie is sent from God, like really, I believe that she is a celestial being. She is not of this world."

Sydney chuckled some more, "She's that good, huh?"

"Oh my God, you have no idea; she has flowers in arrangements faster than FTD. It's so amazing."

"She's a lot like her son," Sydney said as she smiled at Vaughn.

He grinned back, "Mom doing a good job with the flowers?"

Sydney nodded, "Francie thinks your mother is an angel."

"She is."

Sydney leaned over and kissed him, "Just like her son."

"Mmm…must be in the genes…but I think it's transmittable too…cause you've got the sickness too…"

Sydney beamed back at him and then said to Francie, "We are just one damn angelic household here…how long do you think you'll be yet? Cause I'm getting hungry," she looked to Vaughn who was yawning but nodding his head enthusiastically, "And so is Vaughn."

Francie replied, "Probably about another half hour…"

"It's ok if it takes longer, Vaughn and I can just eat…"

"No, if you can wait like a half hour, we can just grab something on the way."

"Can you wait a half hour?" Sydney asked Vaughn.

"Yeah, you?"

Sydney nodded to him, "Yeah Francie, we can wait, where are you gonna get it from?"

Francie thought a moment, "Umm…Umm…Mexican? King Taco?"

Sydney turned to Vaughn, "Mexican?"

"Ooo Mexican…you're gonna let me have Mexican?"

She smiled, "Yeah, well…you've had a…good day…I wouldn't want to deprive you of eating pleasure."

He smirked, "I'll have 2 beef tacos, corn tortilla, lots of cheese and lettuce...and guacamole."

Sydney smiled as she related, "I hope you had a pen."

Francie laughed, "Yeah I wrote it all down."

"K, and I'll have…3 rolled tacos with guacamole and a bean and cheese burrito…"

"Ok…that it?"

"Yeah, I think so…"

"Ok, we'll see you in a few."

"Ok," Sydney said hanging up the phone. "K, they're getting the food, and will be here in a little while. We–" she was cut off by the ringing phone. "Hello?"

"Hello sweetheart."

"Hi dad!"

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good…you?"

"I just got back from a business trip in Kuala Lumpur…I'm sorry I haven't called in a while…"

"No dad, that's ok…and you can talk on here, it's a secure line."

"Nothing is secure," Jack said with a chuckle, but she wasn't sure if he was being serious or not.

"Well…I mean–"

"I had a meeting with an informant."

Sydney looked to Vaughn, "About?"

"Sloane of course."

"And?" she asked, as Vaughn looked at her in confusion.

"Nothing concrete, we had reports from this informant that he had visited Terengganu and Perak, but it turned out to be a dead end, so I'm sorry to say that I have no real information to help in the search."

"But you're still trying dad, thank you…"

Sydney could sense the smile in his voice, "Thank you."

"You wanna come over for dinner?" Sydney asked and then looked wildly to Vaughn, who looked her in confusion again.

"Oh…yes, I'd love to."

"Ok, Francie and Will and Amélie are going to pick up food on their way home…what do you want? I'll call her and let her know."

"Amélie is visiting again?" Jack asked.

"Yes, she came down on Thursday…"

"Oh, I see…how is everything going?"

"That's a really long story that we can tell you when you get here…lots of stuff."

"Is Michael ok?"

"He's better," Sydney said as she sat on the bed and traced his cheek, "What did you want me to tell Francie?"

"Oh right, um…I'll have a California burrito…"

"Ok, I'll tell her, they should be back here in about a half hour."

"Ok, I'll see you then, give Michael my best."

"I will dad."

"I love you Sydney."

"I love you too dad."

Sydney smiled and hung up the phone, looking at it in almost disbelief.

"What?" Vaughn asked her.

"It's just…strange after so many years to do that…" she looked at him, "And I SO should have asked you if you wanted him to come over before I invited him."

"No, he's your dad Sydney…and it's fine."

"Ok," she said, giving him a quick kiss and dialing the phone again.

"Francie's House of–"

"It's me…"

"Yes?"

"My dad is coming over too…he wants a California burrito."

"Ok, so noted, we're our way."

"Great."

Sydney turned back to Vaughn, "So what should we do tonight? You wanna square off with my dad again with games?"

He smiled, "I know how much you enjoy when I win, and I like playing them with your dad, but tonight…" he sighed, "I'll be lucky if I make it through the tacos…I think I'd fall face first into the game boards if we tried to do that."

She chuckled, "I didn't wear you out did I?"

"I haven't been this happily exhausted in a long time," he said with a smile.

She grinned back, "At least you'll sleep well…"

He smirked, "As long as you don't have anything else planned…"

"Nah, you gotta rest sometime…"

"Thanks, maybe just a movie or something, I can fall asleep real quickly if it's the right type of movie…"

"Was that your subtle plea for an action flick?"

"Take it however you'd like honey."

She smiled, "Ok, what movie?"

"Mmm…what do you have?"

"I'll go check…" she said getting up and perusing the titles in the living room.

She came back moments later, "Aww…wouldn't ya know…we took all the action ones out…left only chick flicks…"

Vaughn groaned, "You're going to ruin my perfect day."

She smiled, "Why don't I just go check again."

"Ok, that's a great idea."

She left again and returned several minutes later, "K, we have a lot of movies…what type of action do you want?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Vaughn…not THAT kind of action."

He smiled, "Um…you mean like war, cop action, that stuff?"

"Yeah, that would help me narrow it down…cause we have like scary action – like the Mummy, cop action – like Speed, or L.A. Confidential, or we have like–"

"L.A. Confidential is a great movie…and I've seen it before so I won't have to think as hard as I did the first time around."

Sydney chuckled, "Ok, so L.A. Confidential then?"

"Yeah, if that's ok with you and everyone else…"

"I'm sure it will be…my dad will get a real charge out of the whole noir thing I'm sure, and he can analyze all the ways the movie is incorrect…"

Vaughn laughed, "I can't wait…"

Sydney was in the process of getting Vaughn settled on the couch when the doorbell rang. She went to the door and offered her father a warm smile, "Hi dad."

"Hello sweetheart," he said stepping inside.

She impulsively hugged him, shocking them both but he accepted it whole-heartedly.

Vaughn smiled from his perch on the couch, watching father and daughter in an unfamiliar scene.

When they parted, Sydney said, "You know dad, you can just come in, you don't have to ring the bell…"

"Well, I don't want to intrude…"

Sydney smiled, "Ok, but just know…you can…"

"I'll remember that."

"Come on, sit down," she said motioning. She moved back to Vaughn on the couch, fidgeting with the pillows to make him more comfortable. He let her fuss until she was satisfied, smiling at Jack.

"Hello Michael," Jack said as he sat down.

"Hi Jack."

"How are you feeling?"

"Not too bad…not now," Vaughn said.

Sydney sat down on the edge of the couch with Vaughn, looking over at her father for a minute and then leaning down to whisper in Vaughn's ear, "Do you want him to know?"

Jack looked at them strangely, but Vaughn nodded and Sydney asked, "Do you want me to tell him?"

He nodded again.

"Since last week…lots has happened, lots of therapy stuff…Barnett used really intensive therapy to break down the walls Vaughn put up from the torture…so…she did that on Friday."

Jack nodded, "What kind of intensive therapy?"

"Suggestion," Vaughn said.

Jack offered him a smile, "The most effective kind I think, and she no doubt used Sydney as the visual," Jack added.

Vaughn smiled, "Yup."

Jack smiled, "That would break me too."

Both Vaughn and Sydney smiled at him; however, Sydney's was more of a beam, as she was impressed by her father's tact.

"So what has changed?" Jack asked, "You said you were better…"

Vaughn nodded, "Well…I attacked Barnett…but really, I feel better…"

"A breakthrough through the breakdown?"

"Yeah," Vaughn agreed, "Took me a while…but…yeah, I feel better."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that…what about physically…how are you doing physically?"

"Better too…I hurt my shoulder and stuff when I attacked Barnett, but overall…"

"Good," Jack said with a nod.

"It sounded like Sydney was talking to you about a mission…" Vaughn replied after a few minutes.

"Yes," Jack started, "I was checking a lead with an informant in Kuala Lumpur…but it really turned up nothing, I'm sorry…"

"No, thanks for going," Vaughn said sincerely.

"I will continue to check any leads, keep digging."

"Thank you," Vaughn replied.

Jack nodded and then added, "Your mother was here during the session…"

"No, Barnett made us both leave," Sydney answered.

Jack nodded again, "Still, I imagine that was hard for her."

"Yeah, it was," Vaughn admitted, "Truthfully, we haven't really gotten to talk about it…but I know it was hard for her."

"It was a hard day for all of us," Sydney said looking down at Vaughn.

He smiled, "That it was…"

The door opened suddenly, Francie, Will and Amélie traipsing in, bags of food in hand.

"Well…if you wouldn't have been so busy flirting with the girl taking our order, we'd have been here sooner!"

"I was NOT flirting with her! Unless you consider, 'I'd like the carne asada plate please,' to be flirting!"

Amélie just shook her head, smiling at the occupants of the living room, "Hello Michael, Sydney, and Jack, how nice to see you!"

"Hello Amélie, likewise."

Will and Francie argued all the way to the kitchen, "'Do you have any guacamole, VJ?'" Francie said in an annoyed manner, "How is THAT not flirting?"

"I asked for guacamole, not her phone number, excuse me if her name was on the nametag and she happened to be polite!"

"Polite my ass!" Francie retorted, "She was totally checking you out AS we checked out!"

"Well, it's not MY fault she finds me attractive!" Will said in defense, "I'm all yours baby, come on!"

Francie softened, "Well…I suppose…but you are SO making up for this later," she said as she and Will carried in the plates.

"Hi!" she said to Jack and Sydney and Vaughn, who were all smirking.

"Hey guys," Will said nonchalantly, as though none of them had heard any of that conversation.

They dished out the plates, "Wait – who had the chicken enchiladas," Will asked.

"I did," Amélie said.

Will smiled, "There ya go!"

"So, did you get the flowers all taken care of for tomorrow, Francie?" Sydney asked.

"Thanks to flower woman, Amélie, yes," she beamed, "Michael – your mom rocks!"

Vaughn chuckled, "Well I've known that for years."

Amélie blushed, "Oh stop…doting son, that's all."

Vaughn shook his head, "Uh un – now you've got other witnesses…"

Amélie smiled at her son and listened bashfully as Francie proceeded to tell them all about the flower arrangements that were gloriously placed for the catering tomorrow.


	146. Photographs and Revelations

**Chapter 146: Photographs and Revelations **

_"One picture is worth a thousand words." – Fred R. Barnard _

_"I do believe it is possible to create, even without ever writing a word or painting a picture, by simply molding one's inner life. And that too is a deed." – Etty Hillesum_

_"PICTURE, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three. – Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary_

_"When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?" – George Carlin_

_"I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks." – Groucho Marx_

**_

* * *

_**

After dinner, Will and Francie were in the process of removing all the dishes when Amélie exclaimed suddenly, "OH! Sydney, I totally forgot!"

"What?" Sydney asked as she moved to sit behind Vaughn on the couch.

"I brought you something…"

"You did?"

"Yes!" Amélie said excitedly.

Vaughn cringed, "I don't think this is gonna be good."

Amélie chuckled, "I brought you some pictures…"

Sydney soft smiled turned to a gleam, "What kind of pictures?" she asked innocently.

Amélie smiled, "Pictures from when Michael was a boy."

"Oh God," Vaughn said, burying his head into Sydney's chest.

Sydney practically squealed.

"I'll go get them," Amélie announced and headed off to the spare room.

"Excuse me a moment," Jack said getting up and heading down the hall the same way Amélie had gone, presumably to the restroom. Instead, he followed Amélie and knocked on the door softly.

She turned, "Hello Jack…"

"Hello," Jack stood in the doorway for a moment and then said, "I know it's not really my place…but I just wanted to ask you how you were doing."

Amélie smiled, "That's nice of you Jack, I'm fine…how are you?"

"That's not what I meant Amélie."

"I know," she stated.

"Well…"

Amélie sighed, "It wasn't easy seeing my son broken Jack, if that's what you mean. It was just as bad as if not worse than William's death, because at least William's suffering was over…Michael's, I fear, may have just begun, and I can't protect him…"

Jack said softly, "What I do, what our children do, it's a hazardous job…things happen…all the time. The difference between Sydney and Michael – that sets them apart from everyone else – is that they have each other – they understand, and they have their friends, and us…we can't protect them, no…but we can help…we can…sometimes just being there is enough…am I making any sense?"

Amélie smiled, "Sydney is the perfect combination of you and Irina…"

Jack smiled, "Michael got more of you…"

Amélie moved over to him and kissed him on the cheek, "That made perfect sense Jack…thank you."

Jack sighed, "I'm new at this…I haven't been a very good parent, I might need lessons from you."

Amélie smirked, "Well…learn away," she said and linked her arm with his as they walked down the hall together, back to the living room.

When they returned, Jack led Amélie to her chair and then went to sit in his own.

Amélie started to giggle at the first few pictures she encountered and then passed the first one to Sydney, "Michael was about a year old in that picture."

Sydney gleefully squealed again, "Vaughn! You have BLONDE hair…like REALLY blonde."

Vaughn cringed, "Mom…why?" he asked.

She giggled, "Sydney has a right to see what you looked like…the cute, little adorable boy you were…"

Sydney was positively delighted as she looked at all the different pictures, a panoramic view of Michael as a boy. Will and Francie came back in to Sydney loudly giggling, "Guys…guys, you gotta see this – LOOK!" she said shoving a picture at the back of the couch where they were standing.

Francie took the picture, "OH MY GOD! How cute are you!"

Will smirked and looked down at Vaughn, "I feel for you man. We shoulda got a beer or something and sat outside."

Sydney, Francie and Amélie all said at once, "NO BEER!"

Vaughn started laughing, "Shot down again Will, but keep trying."

Will smiled, "You are pretty cute."

"UGH!" Vaughn said and went back to his cringing, "Mom, please tell me you didn't bring any naked pictures."

Amélie laughed and winked, "I left those at home."

"Thank God for small favors."

Jack looked at the pictures and handed them back to Amélie. She was holding the last one and handed that one to Jack first, "You might recognize this one…I found it while I was digging."

Jack looked at the picture and smirked, "I forgot about that…destined I guess," he said as he looked at Amélie and then handed the picture to Sydney.

She stared down at it, Vaughn looking too, Will and Francie looking over her shoulder.

"What?" Will asked, "What about this one?"

Sydney shrieked, "Holy shit!"

She looked to Vaughn, he looked at the picture and back at her, "What?"

"That's ME!" she said.

Vaughn snatched the picture, "It is?"

"YES!"

He looked at his mother, "Isn't this the little girl who fell down at the picnic and needed the band-aid when I was at the height of my rescuer phase?"

Amélie smiled, "The very one…you met when you were little…I, admittedly, forgot about it too."

Francie spoke up, "That's kinda creepy…"

Will smiled, "That's WAY cool!"

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "See…you were my guardian angel back then too…"

He beamed back up at her and she leaned down, kissing him softly.

When the broke apart, she looked at Amélie, "Can I keep this?"

"Of course," Amélie said, "it's your history, and your future…"

Sydney smiled at her, noting the possible double meaning to that statement.

"We were thinking about watching L.A. Confidential tonight…you guys wanna watch it too?" Sydney asked.

Amélie smiled, "I should really be getting back home…"

Sydney smiled, "Ok…"

"Michael…can I talk to you for a minute," Amélie asked.

Vaughn looked up at her, "Sure…" he looked at Sydney, "Can you help me to the bedroom?"

"Yeah honey," Sydney said sitting him up and helping him get there.

She sat him on the bed, "You wanna lay or just sit?"

"He can probably just sit, it won't take too long…" Amélie said.

"Ok," Sydney said, smiling and moving out of the room, closing the door softly.

Vaughn looked up at his mother, "What did you wanna talk about?"

Amélie smiled, "I want to talk about what happened to you…" she said as she sat down on the  
bed next to him, "You don't have to tell me details, but I would like to you…"

Vaughn sighed, "What 'happened' are we talking about? The torture or the therapy?"

"Well the therapy for now…I need to know that you're ok Michael…I realized that I can't protect you…but you're still my son, and I'd like you to tell me."

He smiled, "Just because I'm not a child, it doesn't lessen your role, just changes it…and there are some thing you can't protect anyone from…"

She smiled, "You just sounded like your father."

He smirked, "What do you want to know? Why I attacked Barnett?"

"Yes."

"She kept talking about what they could have done to Sydney if we'd have switched places…I really don't wanna talk about what she said, just that it was bad…things I don't want to think about…and I just snapped…I was strangling her before I even knew what happened…"

"Was it scary?"

"Yeah…not at first, the only thing I wanted to do was keep strangling her, but she asked me if I liked the power, and that just snapped me out of it…and I just…crumbled…"

Amélie put her arm around her son, "I'm sorry Michael…"

"No, I mean, I feel bad that I did it, but I'm not sorry…I mean you have no idea how relieved I am that I didn't totally crack with Sydney…"

"That makes sense Michael…"

"I love her so much mom…"

"I know Michael…and she loves you too…it's something you can just…see…do you know what I mean? The two of you, you could be on opposite sides of a room, and a person could still see the love between you."

"Thanks mom…"

"It's true, mon petit homme."

Vaughn chuckled and looked over at his mother, "You haven't called me that in years."

Amélie smiled, "You've always been 'my little man,' Michael…and you always will be…no matter what happens to you."

"I love you mom."

"Oh, Michael," she said as she wrapped him in a hug, "I love you too…"

Mother and son shared a long hug before Amélie pulled back and kissed his head, "You call me…ok?"

"I will…" Vaughn replied.

"Or have Sydney call if you can't…"

"Ok mom."

"Goodbye Michael."

"Bye mom."

She got up off the bed and kissed him again on the head, walked to the door and smiled before she went out.

Sydney came back in seconds after his mother vacated the room, "You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Everything cool with your mom?"

"Yeah, she just needed to know I was ok before she left."

Sydney smiled, kneeling down in front of him on the bed, "I'll take good care of you…"

"I know…she knows that too…and I'm supposed to have you call if I can't," he informed her.

"I'll make sure…"

"K."

"You wanna watch the movie now?"

"Sure."

"Vaughn…are you ok?" she asked.

He smiled, "Yeah, I'm just…thinking."

"About?"

"I have therapy again tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know…what's the matter? You afraid you'll snap again?"

"No…not that…I'm just…well I mean the last time she was here I tried to kill her…just…awkward."

Sydney smiled, "I'm sure she doesn't feel that way…"

"Well…no…I guess not…"

"You wanna skip the movie sweetie?"

"No, I wanna watch it."

"Ok, you wanna think some more yet?"

"No, let's go," he said grabbing her hand to have her help him stand up.

She helped him back to he couch. Jack and Francie were waiting patiently; Will was helping Amélie with her bags. They both came in for the last items and Amélie stopped at the couch, giving both Vaughn and Sydney kisses on the head, "Good bye you two, it was nice to see you again Jack, Francie – thank you for all the fun…and you," she said touching Will's cheek, "Such a wonderful young man."

Amélie left with a chorus of "Bye mom," "Bye Amélie," "Thanks for your help with the flowers," "Nice to see you again," and walked out the door with Will.

He came back in a few minutes later and looked at Vaughn, "Dude – your mom loves me." He looked at Francie, letting it sink in. She responded by rolling her eyes. "Are we gonna watch this movie?" she asked.

Will chuckled, "Just can't handle that other people love me…" he said as he got up to grab the movie. He started it and then settled back down with Francie.

Vaughn snuggled into Sydney as the movie started, yawning before the beginning credits were even over. She smiled down at him, looking at his exhausted state, and began to play with his hair, knowing he'd be asleep in no time. It took all of five minutes and he was out, Sydney giggled when she looked down at him again.

Francie and Will and Jack looked over at her strangely, the beginning of the movie was not funny, and she pointed to Vaughn. They all smiled and Will got up and grabbed a blanket for him. Will helped her cover him up and then went back to his seat with Francie. Sydney kept playing with his hair, not because he needed to feel it anymore, but because it was therapeutic for her as well.

When the end credits rolled, Will and Jack helped move Vaughn back to the bed, and miraculously he didn't wake. Of course, this did not surprise Sydney; because she knew all that he'd been a participant in, but the others were shocked that the noise and the movement didn't wake him.

Sydney undressed Vaughn and settled him into bed before going back out into the living room…


	147. Dream a Little Dream of Me

**A/N: OK! NOW! HEHEHHE SINCE THIS IS THE 147TH CHAPTER, I IN MY INSANE-NESS DIVISED A LITTLE ALIAS COVERT SPY MISSION!**

**SOMEWHERE IN THIS CHAPTER IS A CLUE...I'M NOT SAYING WHERE IT IS OR WHO SAYS IT...BUT IT'S A CODE (THINK VAUGHN - DRAWER EP) THAT'S ALL THE HINTS I'M GIVING...HEHEHEHEHEHEH THIS LITTERALLY TOOK MY LIKE AN HOUR TO DO...AND IT'S FAIRLY OBVIOUS IF YOU LOOK HARD ENOUGH (THE PHRASE THAT IS)**

**NOW! HERE IS THE REALLY REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT PART - IF YOU FIGURE IT OUT OR EVEN JUST WANNA GUESS DO NOT DO IT IN THE REVIEWS - EMAIL ME OR INSTANT MESSAGE ME INDIVIDUALLY, CAUSE THAT WOULD JUST SUCK TO RUIN MY WHOLE GAME BY ONE PERSON FIGURING IT OUT...SO...PLEASE PLEASE DON'T POST GUESSES OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE IN THE REVIEW SECTION (OR IN THE THREADS AGAIN FOR SD-1 PEOPLE)...OR I WON'T DO IT AGAIN - AND PERSONALLY, I THINK IT'S A KINDA FUN, INVENTIVE THING...SO...THERE, I'M DONE.**

**

* * *

Chapter 147: Dream a Little Dream of Me **

_"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." – William Dement _

"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow." – Robert H. Goddard

"Keep true to the dreams of thy youth." – Friedrich von Schiller

"Our revels now are ended. These our actors,  
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and  
Are melted into air, into thin air:  
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,  
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,  
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,  
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,  
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,  
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff  
As dreams are made on; and our little life  
Is rounded with a sleep." – William Shakespeare

"To all, to each, a fair good night, And pleasing dreams, and slumbers light." – Sir Walter Scott

**

* * *

**

Sydney walked back to the living room, her father offering her a warm smile as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"Michael sleeping alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, he was really tired today…"

"Why is that?" Jack asked.

Sydney fumbled, "Uh…well…just busy day…"

Jack smiled, "I see…"

"Do you want a drink dad?"

"Sure…"

Francie walked back into the living room as Sydney was getting up, "We're gonna go to bed…all the flowers…yeah, I'm about ready to drop."

Sydney chuckled, "Ok, night Fran, tell Will I say goodnight too."

"Night Francie," Jack said from the couch.

"Night Jack, stop by again soon," she said in reply.

Jack smiled and got up, coming to the kitchen to watch Sydney.

"Scotch?" she asked.

"That will be fine," he replied as he smiled at his daughter. He waited until she handed him the drink and they walked back to the couch.

"Did you like the movie?" she asked.

"Yes, it was good…a little unrealistic, but it was good."

Sydney giggled.

"What?"

"I knew you'd say that…"

He smiled bashfully, "Well…yes, I guess I am rather easy to pin down that way…"

"It's too bad Vaughn fell asleep, he really likes that movie…"

Jack smiled, "Is he really alright? The therapy I mean?"

"Yeah, he's better…he was really scared and hurt at first, but he's doing better now. We talked all yesterday, literally, all day. He opened up a lot more than he has in the last few weeks. I think it was good for him."

"And what about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"How are you handling it all? It must be rather strange to be Barnett's therapy tool."

"Well, I mean I understand – I would have done the same thing if Barnett pushed me using him. I don't like that she used me, but she was correct that there wasn't really anything else that would have gotten him to that point."

Jack nodded and they shared a moment of silence. He took a sip of the scotch, "Did you have a chance to make any progress with the files that Will compiled?"

"Well, yeah we did earlier this week, but the last few days have been rather hectic…"

"Mmm, of course," Jack said, thinking, "If I should acquire pertinent records to explain new intel, validate new leads, elucidate something or send emails," he stopped, "whatever it is, let me know."

"Thanks dad…"

"You're welcome." He finished the scotch and smiled at Sydney, "I should get going…it's getting late."

He walked the glass back to the kitchen as Sydney got up to accompany him to the door.

"We should do this more often dad, if you have the time…dinner and stuff."

"I would love to, should I call you?"

"Sure, call me later this week, we'll figure out a time."

"Ok, you call if you find anything…" Jack said as he opened the door.

Sydney moved to give him a hug in the doorway and he returned it, "I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too dad."

"I'll talk to you soon," he said as he smiled and walked back to his car.

Sydney waved and watched him pull out of the driveway and then closed the door quietly and turned off the remaining lights from the living room. She got herself ready for bed and then went to the bedroom, smiling at the exhausted form of her lover. He hadn't moved at all from the spot where they'd placed him. She pulled down the covers on her side of the bed and slid between the soft, cotton sheets, leaning her head on her hand as she watched him for a few minutes.

He'd have more therapy tomorrow, and she knew he was nervous about it. At least he'd have the security of her being in the house again for this one. Perhaps that would make it somewhat less scary.

She reached a hand out to smooth back his hair, the ruffled bed head even more pronounced from his time on the couch. She brought the same hand down to trace his cheek, the stubble lightly scratchy on her hand.

She smiled and moved closer to him, snuggling her head on his shoulder as his moved to rest against hers. She fell asleep quickly, much like he had, the day's exertions catching up with her as well.

She was crying, the tears streaming as her knee throbbed in pain. She was scared at the sight of even the small amount of blood. It seemed there were people everywhere, it was a family picnic after all, but no one seemed to notice her plight. She couldn't see her parents anywhere and so she just sat, crying.

Suddenly, a shadow was standing over her, and when she looked up, a boy was standing in front of her; the golden sunrays framing his head, making him glow. He had fierce yet compassionate and determined green eyes.

He smiled at her, "Are you ok?" he asked softly.

She continued to cry, not knowing the boy or what he wanted. She looked wildly around for her parents.

"It's ok…" he said, "I'm not going to hurt you…your knee is bleeding…can I help you?"

She looked at him as he knelt down in front of her and she got a good look at him. He was about 10 years old, with a soft smile and dimples. When he smiled at her, she had to smile back and she realized that she had stopped crying.

"What happened?" he asked as he used a wipe to get the dirt off of her knee.

"I falled down…" she replied.

He smiled, "Were you running?"

"Yeah."

"It happens," he said as he dried off the area around the small cut. "I doesn't look too bad, a band-aid should do it…" he produced a band-aid from his pocket and gently placed it over the cut.

She spent the time looking between his determined face and his gentle hands as he repaired her injury.

When he was done, he flashed her a grin, "Good as new…I bet if you find your mom and dad, they'll buy you ice cream if you tell them you fell."

She smiled, "K…fank you…" and leaned to kiss him on the cheek.

He grinned back, "You're welcome."

She stood up and hobbled slightly as she got used to the feel of the band-aid on her knee. He watched as she walked away, finding her parents. Her father picked her up and both parents looked at the band-aid. He saw her point to him and say something and her father waved, while her mother smiled at him. Her smile faded slightly however when she seemed to recognize him, and while he found it strange, he just shrugged, waved one last time and walked away.

Sydney woke in the morning with a huge grin on her face, remembering the dream vividly as though she was reliving it. She could see his smile, his piercing green eyes; feel his gentle hands as they took care of her knee. A Vaughn-in-miniature. She looked up at him, still sleeping, and realized that she could see that little boy every time she looked at him if she wanted to see him.

She eased out of him embrace and the bed, and padded out into the kitchen. She thought about the dream, the end; her mother…how awkward that must have been for her to see him, the spitting image of his father, helping her own daughter.

She grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and went to the refrigerator, but stopped when she saw the calendar on the door.

'Hmm…that's weird…' she thought, and counted the days. She shook her head, 'that can't be right.' She counted again, and a third time. "shit," she said out loud. She placed the glasses back on the counter and walked quickly to the bathroom, threw open the cabinet door, and grabbed the box marked E.P.T.…

She waited nervously and somewhat excitedly in the bathroom while the minutes edged by. Slowly, two purple lines appeared in the windows, "Holy shit." She sat down on the edge of the bathtub, just holding the stick. Thoughts raced through her mind, she had to tell Vaughn. She ran back to the kitchen and poured two glasses of orange juice and brought them back to the bedroom. She sat on the bed softly and set one of the glasses on the nightstand.

"Vaughn…" she said, gently shaking him, "Vaughn."

He stirred and looked at her sleepily, "Hey beautiful."

"Hey…" she said.

She must have looked strange because he said, "What's wrong?" in the next breath.

She smiled shakily, "Well…I was getting juice…and I looked at the calendar…"

"Yeah…"

"And well…I hadn't noticed really…"

"Noticed what?"

"How late I am…so I…took a test…"

"Took a te–" he stopped and looked at her wide-eyed, "Jesus Christ."

"Michael…I'm pregnant."

His mouth fell open but no sound came out at first. Finally he said, "I…I…wow…"

She looked at him with raised eyebrows.

He smiled at her, looking at the beautiful woman that was currently carrying their child, "That's great," he said, and pulled her down to him, their lips meeting in a soft kiss.

She smiled at him, "So you're happy about this then?"

"I couldn't be any happier," he said in response.

She smiled, "I'm happy too," she squealed and then bent down again to kiss him.

Sydney bolted up in bed, "What the hell?" she said out loud.

Vaughn felt her move and woke with her, "Syd?" he asked sleepily.

She looked back at him, "Jesus…"

"What? What happened? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine…I just…" she leaned back into him, "I just had the most bizarre dream."

"What was it?"

"First I dreamt about when you fixed up my knee…that was a great dream…now, I just had a dream…I was pregnant."

"You were what?" he asked.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Syd…"

"Yeah?"

"Um, this isn't some round about way to tell me…"

She giggled, "No Vaughn, I'm not pregnant…I think it's just because we were talking about it…and I'm sure the baby pictures didn't help any."

"Well…if you were…I mean it would be ok…I'd be happy…"

She smiled at him, "That's pretty much what you said in the dream, after you picked your jaw up off the floor."

He chuckled, "Well how could I not be happy about something like that?"

She tilted her head up to look at him, "I love you."

"I love you too…you wanna go back to sleep now?"

"Yeah, let's do that," Sydney said, snuggling into him once again, drifting off soundlessly.


	148. Sleeping In

**Chapter 148: Sleeping In **

_"Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together." – Thomas Dekker _

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book." – Irish Proverb

"There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep." – Homer

"It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes." – Thomas Aquinas

"Sometimes the most urgent and vital thing you can do is take a rest." – Unknown

**

* * *

**

Sydney and Vaughn both woke at relatively the same time. Sydney stretched in a cat-like manner while Vaughn let out a sleepy yawn as he wiped the blurry sleepiness from his eyes.

He craned his neck to look at the clock, "Jesus Sydney…it's 11:30!"

Her head whipped back to look at the clock, "Wow!" She looked at him, "I didn't realize I was that tired."

"I was!" he said with a smile.

She leaned back into his chest, "Well…if I should go easy on ya, you should let me know…"

"NO! I like sleeping in…VERY much!"

She giggled, "Good…then we can do that again…"

"Yay!" he said happily.

She smirked, "You hungry?"

"Mmm, oh yeah," he said.

She kissed his chest and pushed off, getting off the bed. "I'll make breakfast, lunch…whatever…I'll see what we have."

"Ok," he said yawning again.

She came back a few minutes later, "Well…let's put it this way…I don't feel like cooking…and I don't wanna go get anything…what if we just mix and match – fruit, vegetables, crackers…I can dig up a bunch of that stuff."

"Sure," Vaughn said smiling, "I'm all for low maintenance."

Sydney smirked, "Ok, back in a few minutes."

She gathered up a plateful of assorted fruits and vegetables, took out a bunch of cheese and sausage and crackers and put them on another plate, and grabbed the container of dip from the refrigerator. She carried as much as she could manage back to the bedroom and then made another trip back for the rest.

"This," he started as she handed him one of the plates, "was a great idea."

She smiled, "Good, cause I'm lazy."

"You don't have to cook all the time for it to be a good meal."

She smiled and kissed him, handing him a carrot dunked in dill dip, off of the plate she held.

"Thanks," he said accepting it and crunching away.

"Mmm," she said halfway through a piece of broccoli, "We have to change your bandages and stuff today…and we should really start exercising."

"I think I did enough yesterday to qualify as 'exercise.'"

"That's true…my mistake," she said glancing at him playfully, "You were really tired."

He smiled, "Yeah, I made it all through, what, five minutes of the movie?"

She giggled, "About that yeah."

"However, you were helping…"

"Why? Because I was playing with your hair?" she asked.

"Yeah, I swear, it puts me to sleep in no time…" he turned to her, "I like it."

She smiled back, "Good, cause I like it too…"

He smiled at her and then turned back to the food on the plate. He took a cracker, and placed a piece of the round summer sausage on top of the cracker and then a piece of cheese on top of that. He determinedly put another cracker on top of the whole thing and then picked up the whole mess and proceeded to shove it in his mouth.

"Vaughn…" she said shaking her head, "Be careful you don't choke…"

"M nat gurner coke."

She giggled, "Chew, then we'll discuss."

He chewed for several seconds and grabbed a drink of his milk, "What?" he asked.

"You just made a sandwich," she said giggling.

"Yeah…so?"

"Nothing, you're just adorable as usual…"

He smiled, "Well yeah."

She smirked as he drank the rest of his milk, "You done?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"Ok, I'll get this stuff cleaned up, then we'll do bandages and exercise…k?"

"Ok," he said in a resigned manner.

She smiled at the way he made the exercises sound like such a chore, but in reality, when she thought about it, that's probably how they seemed to him. Unfortunately, it was something they had to do…

She walked back in and pulled back the covers, "You wanna bath first?" she asked.

His eyes lit up, "What kind of bath?"

She smiled and touched his cheek, "The kind where you relax and have a nice soak…with me in there too."

He smiled, "Well, I was thinking about something else, but I'll take that gladly…"

She helped him sit and walked him to the bathroom, sitting him in the usual chair while she filled up the tub. She turned to him and followed the routine – removing clothing and bandages and then helped him ease into the tub when it was full.

She got in the tub behind him and pulled him back to her, and they just sat and soaked for a while; neither moved save for Sydney's hand tracing gentle patterns on Vaughn's chest. They eventually washed and got out, and Sydney started the customary after-bath routine of checking the wounds and replacing the bandages.

"Shave?" she asked when she was done with phase one of the custom.

He smiled, "Yes please."

She returned the smile and sat on his lap, lathering him up, and then deftly removed the hair from his face. She smiled as she ran the towel over his face and applied aftershave, "I'm getting really good at that," she said proudly.

He smiled back at her, "I know you are…I think you might just have to continue that…even after I'm better," he said with a wink.

"I would be happy to oblige…" she retorted.

He nodded and she rose from his lap, pulling him up with her. They walked back to the bedroom and she sat him on the bed. "K, what do you wanna wear?" she asked.

"Mmm…how bout that new shirt you bought me…" he said.

She smiled, "The blue or the green?"

"Blue," he said quickly.

She smiled and fished it out of the bag and cut the tags off, and laid it on the bed while she got the rest of his clothes. "Jeans? Or different pants?"

"Jeans."

She grabbed a pair of his jeans and then started to dress him, starting with boxers and pants, getting them both on at the same time. She did the shirt next, buttoning it up slowly and grinning at him the whole time, and then socks, before helping him sit back on the bed.

"Ok," she said, "My turn." She opened the closet door and grabbed a white tee shirt and grabbed a pair of jeans as well, and dressed with him watching her the whole time, a lazy smile on his face.

"You gettin ideas?" she asked with a sexy smile.

"Always…although soon I'm gonna be able to act on them…I hope you're ready…" he said, his look a dare.

She turned to face him, "Mmm…you devising a plan Mr. Vaughn?"

"Have been for weeks…" he shot back with a grin.

"Hmm…well…I'll have to prepare myself…you gonna warn me or not?" she asked.

He smiled evilly, "I don't know yet…haven't devised that far."

She came back to the bed, now fully dressed and sat down, leaning over to kiss him, "I can't wait…"

"Me neither," he said, pulling her over for another kiss.

She leaned down further and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Sydney…"

"Yeah?"

"Where are we gonna live?" he asked as he pressed a kiss to her head.

"Um…well…I guess we'll have to go looking…or we could move into your place…"

"Mmm…no, I think we need some place new…some place that's just ours."

"Sounds great."

"The beach…"

"What?"

"I wanna live by the beach…"

She smiled and titled her head up, "That would be nice…" she pressed her head into him, "Nice long walks in the sand…"

"Mmmhmm…sex in the sand…sex in the water…" he giggled.

"Ok, I've created a sex-crazed monster…I should have stopped halfway through…"

"NO! Ugh…that would be bad – if you stopped in the middle," his eyebrow rose as he waited for her to look at him.

She sat up and tapped him playfully, "God, look what I've done…you've got sex on the brain now…"

"Um…is that bad?"

"Well…no," Sydney said quickly and with a smile, "It's actually a good thing."

"Oh admit it," he said, "You live in the gutter with me."

She giggled, "Yeah, that's true."

"You are the one who came up with the phone sex…and the pop rocks…and the–"

"Ok," she said cutting him off, "I'm just as bad."

"Thank you!" he said happily, "So…we gonna look at the paper or what?"

She picked up her head, "Paper?"

"To look at real estate…"

She smiled, "I'll go get it." She ran off and grabbed the paper from the doorstep and brought it back to the bedroom, practically jumping on the bed in glee.

She giggled, "This is so fun Vaughn."

He smiled, "K…you can just hand me the sports section for later too…"

She handed it to him and settled back against the headboard to look at the real estate section of the paper.

She browsed a few and then read to him, "Here…Four Bedrooms, Three and ½ baths, Great room style family room with fireplace adjoins kitchen, Master Suite with large spa type bathroom, private retreat and French door to outdoor view patio, Retreat in master bedroom could be a fifth bedroom with separate entrance, Dramatic entrance foyer with two story ceiling and dramatic lighting, Two Staircases to upper level, Beautiful formal living room and formal dining room, Gourmet kitchen with granite counters, center island, breakfast area and French doors to outdoor dining patio, Large Bonus Room/second family room on upper level, Built-in art niches and cabinetry, Dramatic two story windows with plantation shutters and custom draperies, Custom interior color finishes and faux painting, Rounded archways and passageways, Lushly landscaped with a large rear yard, Full 3 car garage (not tandem), Single loaded street (no immediate neighbors in front or back)…"

"Mmm…sounds nice…on the beach?"

"Oh…no…and it's in Carlsbad…" Sydney realized, "Ok…let's see…"

He chuckled, "Gotta be on the beach…"

"Yes, honey I know."

"Sand…mmm…" he said closing his eyes.

She looked over at him and smiled at his euphoric countenance.

"You thinking what I think you are?" she asked as she looked back at the newspaper.

"Mmm…if you're thinking that I'm thinking of nice, warm, sand, and the sound of the ocean…mmm, then yeah."

She smiled, "That's gonna be our first stop honey…ok? When you're ready…first stop…"

He opened his eyes and smiled at her, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"After we go to the beach can we look at houses?" he asked with a hopeful grin.

"Sure honey…we'll go house-hunting…"

"Let's pick out what we want…"

She giggled, "Ok…should I get a pen?"

"Yeah, write this down."

She giggled more and grabbed a pen and paper, "Ok…shoot…"

"Um…beach…sand…ocean-front view…did I mention that?"

She jotted it down, "Yeah, I think you might have…"

She had just finished writing the beach specifications when the doorbell rang…


	149. The Pier

**Chapter 149: "The Pier" **

_"This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men." – Captain J. A. Hadfield _

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are." – Chinese Proverb

"Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths." – Etty Hillesum

"What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens." – Benjamin Disraeli

**

* * *

**

Sydney smiled at Vaughn, "We'll finish later if you feel like it…k?"

He nodded and accepted the kiss that she planted on his lips. She got up and walked to the door and opened it to see a smiling Dr. Barnett.

"Hello Sydney…how are you doing?"

"Good, come in." Sydney said as she stepped aside.

"How is Michael? Is he feeling better?"

"Yeah, he's much better…he was sore…and his shoulder is still bad…but he's doing better…and he's talking more."

"That's wonderful," Barnett said honestly.

"He's in the usual spot…although pretty soon he should be able to come out on the couch or something…"

"That's fine," Barnett said nodding.

Sydney motioned for her to follow her and walked into the bedroom. Barnett sat down in the chair and Sydney gave Vaughn a quick kiss before smiling and walking out, shutting the door on her way, and giving him a reassuring smile and a motion that said 'I'll be right out here.' He smiled and then looked over at Barnett.

"How are you doing today Michael?"

He offered her a shaky smile, "I'm ok…"

"I want you to know before we start, that I don't blame you for anything that happened in our last session, alright?"

He looked over at her, an unsure glance in his eyes.

She smiled, "Name one emotion you're feeling right now…"

Vaughn thought a moment, "I guess…nervousness?"

"Why are you nervous?" Barnett asked.

"Um…because the last time I saw you, I tried to murder you…" he said with a sigh.

Barnett didn't seem fazed, "Why did you try to murder me?"

"Because I lost control of my emotions."

"Why did you lose control of your emotions?" she asked.

"Because you kept asking me to imagine all those horrible things about Sydney…"

"And that made you angry? Made you lose control?"

Vaughn clarified, "The thought of her being hurt did, hurting Sydney makes me angry."

Barnett asked, "So if I hadn't said anything about Sydney, do you think you would've lost control?"

"If you used something else instead?"

"Yes," Barnett said nodding.

Vaughn thought a moment, and a few more passed.

"I take it your silence means no? What about your mother? Would you have lost control if I would have used her instead?"

"Yeah, if you would have used my mother, I would have been just as angry."

"So is it only when I used loved ones? Or would you have gotten just as angry if I'd used a random person?"

"Well, I don't have feelings for random people – not in the same way, so yeah, I guess just loves ones…someone I care about…"

Barnett regrouped, "Obviously you're not as emotionally connected to a random person, but you wouldn't lose control to just think about someone else being violated like that? You think you'd be emotionless hearing about it happening to someone else while sitting around with Agent Weiss in the rotunda? Or reading about such a thing in a newspaper? Seeing a report on the news?"

"I wouldn't be emotionless no, I would have strong feelings about it," he thought a moment, "I don't think I'd attack someone over it…"

"So, you'd only attack if you felt that someone you loved was being threatened like that?" Barnett asked.

Vaughn backpedaled, "Well...no, I'd attack someone if I felt strongly enough about the subject matter...like if I felt a child was being threatened I'd step in…"

"And you somehow see that as being wrong? That you should be nervous around a person who threatened you like that?"

Vaughn sat puzzled, "Uh…well…no…"

"That's my point, Michael. If someone threatened your loved ones, you'd react in a completely natural way. There's nothing wrong with your reaction, it's completely human to react that way. The only thing that is wrong is that you somehow feel guilty for being human."

Vaughn restated, "But I still tried to strangle you over an imaginary situation."

"Did it feel imaginary to you?" Barnett asked.

Vaughn stopped, thinking, "Well…no, not at all, it was very real."

"So you reacted like a normal person would…"

Vaughn's brow furrowed, "Hmm…well…yeah…I guess so."

"Which means you don't have to be nervous around me," Barnett said softly, and with a smile.

Vaughn looked over at her, and genuinely smiled back, took a deep breath, and nodded, "Ok."

Barnett smiled widely at him, "Good…"

She let him take a minute before she said, "Let's try an exercise…"

Vaughn looked up at her and nodded.

"Close your eyes," Barnett said.

Vaughn complied.

"I want you to listen to my voice," Barnett said in a soothing tone, "Concentrate on your breathing…breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth…" she was silent for a moment as she monitored him complying with her request.

"Take a deep breath…" she said slowly, "and picture whatever makes you happiest…"

She let him think a moment, although she had a pretty good idea what he was thinking about, "Keep the picture in you mind as you're breathing in…exhale…and let go of all your worry…so you're left with only the happy thought…"

"Inhale…think about where you are with her…"

Vaughn smiled, Barnett totally knew what he was picturing…

"Think about your favorite place to go with her…" She stopped, letting him think a while.

Vaughn's mind flashed with images of Sydney…things they'd done…places they'd gone…many of the ones they'd talked about a few days before came running in and out. He tried to focus on one…and the one that kept popping up, perhaps because they'd just talked about it, was the beach…the pier…

Barnett watched him, noticing the smile that crept across his face.

"Breathe out…no worries…perfect happiness…perfect bliss…breathe in…imagine the scenery…what is she wearing? Are you standing? Sitting? Look around you…what do you see on the right? Left? What else is around? Do you hear any sounds?" She stopped, watching him as he started to breathe by himself, without her suggestions, watching as the calm spread over his body and features.

She let him revel in the silence, in the peace of just breathing and contented thinking for several minutes, before softly saying, "Michael…"

His features registered her voice.

"Keep breathing…inhale – happy, calm, blissful thoughts…exhale – worries, troubles…focus on that one happy thought…that's all that's there…breathe in through your nose…and out through your mouth…good…" she waited several more minutes, "Ok…open your eyes…"

He opened them and looked over at her and smiled softly, "That was nice," he said quietly.

Barnett smiled, "Good…" she paused, letting him return back to full consciousness, "From now on, most sessions…I'm going to give you some type of homework…"

"Homework?" he asked.

She smiled, "Yes…homework that will help facilitate your recovery along with the sessions…"

"Ok," he said.

"What we just did – the breathing exercise…you can do that on your own…to help calm you down if you're ever feeling angry…or scared…anything…you can always go there, it's a safe place Michael, a place where no one can touch you…"

"Wish I would have had that before…"

"How do you feel?"

He smiled, "Really relaxed…calm…peaceful, it's nice…"

Barnett smiled, "I'm glad…" she waited another minute and then started up again, "Your homework for next time, is simple…I want you to name your place…the place you just went, give it a name, any name you want that will remind you of what just happened here…"

"I just have to come up with a name?" he asked.

"They won't all be that easy Michael…You can tell me the name during the next session, we'll start out with that…" she got up, "We're done for today…you did a good job today Michael."

"Thank you…"

She smiled and got up, reached the door and said, "I'll see you on Wednesday Michael…" she opened the door and stepped out and then peeked her head back in, "Oh, and Michael?"

"Yeah?" he said, his attention on the door.

She smiled, "Don't name your place 'Sydney.'"

He chuckled, "Ok…I'll try to be more creative…"

She smiled and walked out.

Sydney looked up from the kitchen table where she had a few files spread out, when Barnett walked past.

"Goodbye Sydney…see you Wednesday…"

"Bye Dr. Barnett…"

She watched Barnett walk out the door and then went to the bedroom.

Vaughn's eyes were closed and he seemed oddly calm considering he'd just had therapy.

"Vaughn?" she asked softly.

He opened his eyes and smiled, "Hi."

She smiled back, "Hey…must have went…better today?"

"Yeah…really well…"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"That's great…you wanna tell me what you talked about?" she asked.

He smiled, "Well…it was sort of odd, but I really don't feel nervous around her anymore…she has this knack for explaining things…I suppose that's why she's the therapist…" he smiled, and then continued, "She made me see that I had a normal reaction to someone threatening you…a human reaction," he said, his smile widening.

Sydney couldn't help but smile with him, "I'm so happy for you honey…"

He added, "Then we did this really cool breathing exercise…"

Sydney's face registered the knowledge, "Ahh…that would be why you look so relaxed…"

"Yeah, it was great…" he admitted.

"What did you do? If you don't mind me asking."

He smiled, "I don't mind."

"Ok," she said, "Just checking…because you don't have to tell me everything…you can just say you don't want to…"

"Yeah, ok…but…well…first we just concentrated on breathing, and then I was supposed to think of the one thing that made me the happiest," he smiled looking to her.

She smiled back and looked at him bashfully, "You thought of me?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course I thought of you…"

"Aww…Vaughn," she said leaning over and kissing him.

He greedily accepted her kiss before he continued, "It was really calming…I'm supposed to do that if I start to get upset…and my homework–"

"You have homework?" she asked interrupting.

"Yeah, I have to name my happy place for next time."

"What are you going to name it?" Sydney asked.

Vaughn chuckled, "Well, Barnett already told me that I couldn't name it 'Sydney.'"

Sydney burst out laughing, "She knew you picked me?"

"Yeah, I think I'm rather transparent…perhaps it was the whole 'snapping' over you thing…" he said with a grin.

"Did you think of a name?"

"Not really…I gotta think about it more…"

"Ok, honey…" she leaned down, "Want help?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Absolutely…"


	150. The Name Game

**Chapter 150: The Name Game **

_"Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." – John Howard Payne _

"A good laugh is sunshine in a house." – William Makepeace Thackeray

"One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats." – Iris Murdoch

"Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world." – Hans Margolius

**

* * *

**

She smiled, "Goodie!"

He chuckled, "Don't forget about our list either…"

"Oh yeah! You wanna finish that first?" she asked grabbing the pen and paper again.

"Sure…we can write names after…"

"Ok, go ahead…"

"Mmm…sand…"

"Vaughn, we got that covered."

He smiled, "Ok…

She held the pen poised, "How many bedrooms?"

"Four," he said.

She smiled and wrote it down, "Bathrooms?"

"Mmm…BIG TUB…"

She giggled, "Ok…how about 2 ½?"

"Sure…and we need…air conditioning…heat of course, living room, den, nice big master bedroom – with a fireplace!" he said excitedly.

She laughed and wrote it all down, "Do we need a fireplace in the liv–"

"Yes!" he answered quickly.

"We need a patio – or a balcony…maybe a nice staircase down to the beach…"

"Mmm…I'm liking this…" Vaughn said happily, "We should have a hot tub too…"

Sydney looked over at him, "But we have the ocean…"

He turned to her, "Ocean isn't a hot tub…" he said with a raised brow.

She nodded and wrote it down, "Garage?"

"Mmm…two-car should do it…"

"K, what else…"

"Cable," he said with a smile, "and a fence…"

She chuckled, "A fence?"

"Yeah…so the kids can't run in the street…"

She smiled and kissed him, "Very practical…"

"And we have to have grass…"

She smiled, "Grass noted…and I want an island kitchen…a kitchen that has an island in the middle – marble…"

He smiled, "So you shall have it." He thought a moment, "Can we have a big screen TV?"

She snorted, "Yeah…you can have a big screen…if I can have an island, you can have a big screen."

"Surround sound?"

"Don't push your luck…" she said with a sweet smile. "I should call a realtor…"

"Now?"

"Well, yeah…it's gonna take a while to find this house of ours…"

He smiled, "Our house."

"Yes, our house," she said kissing him, "I'll get the phone book, you think of happy-place names."

"Ok."

She came back in a few minutes later, "Ok," she dialed and waited for the realtor to pick up the phone.

"Simone Moore…"

"Hi," Sydney said cheerfully.

"Hello…can I help you?"

"Yes, my name is Sydney Bristow, and my," she looked at Vaughn, "fiancé and I are interested in finding a house to purchase."

Vaughn beamed over at her, nodding, and whispering, "Nice…"

"Well Ms. Bristow, I'd be glad to work with you. What kind of home did you have in mind?"

"Well, ideally we are interested in a single-family home on the beach, 4 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths…and please, call me Sydney…"

"Ok, Sydney, were there any other things you and – did you say fiancé – were looking for?"

"Yes, Michael and I have a bit of a wish list – did you want it all now?"

"Sure, Sydney, and then I'll see if there is something out there that meets your needs…"

"Great…ok, here we go…" Sydney took a breath, "well air conditioning and heat of course, living room with a fireplace, den, master bedroom with a fireplace, patio or balcony," she stopped momentarily and smiled at Vaughn, "a hot tub…two-car garage…cable, a kitchen with an island…" Sydney stopped chuckling.

Simone asked, "Sydney?"

"I'm sorry…we also need grass…"

"Grass?"

"Yes, grass in the front yard, and a fence – but some of this stuff we can just add to the house…"

Simone chuckled, "Hmm…grass…and an ocean view…Well, Sydney, it sounds like you have some pretty specific ideas. Let me run a property search and I can let you know if there is anything that meets your criteria. Is there a number I can reach you at later today or tomorrow?"

Sydney smiled, "Sure, it's 555-8448."

"Ok, I'll give you a call just as soon as I can."

"Thank you," Sydney said and hung up the phone.

She sat down on the bed again with Vaughn, "Well…that was probably the best call I've ever made…"

He smiled, "It was nice…fiancé?"

She smiled, "Did you mind?"

"Not at all…"

"Good," she said snuggling down into his arm, "You wanna name your happy place now?"

"Sure," he said, "Um…how about right here…'the bed.'"

Sydney chuckled, "I don't think Barnett would find the humor."

"Sealy Posturepedic?"

She shot him a look, "No."

"K, fine…then you come up with something!"

She smiled, "Um…well what did you imagine us doing, where were we when you did the exercise?

"Well…we were all over, here, the rooftop with that grasshopper joke, warehouse, coffee shop, train station, I thought of everywhere…"

"Ok…well…you could call it 'The Rooftop.'"

"Yeah, I could."

"Or…um…'The Warehouse?'" she said giggling, "I'm being really inventive…"

He laughed, "I could do something with ice or hockey…"

"Oh! You could call it 'The Rink!'"

He smirked, "Yeah…I could call it 'Iceland.'"

"Ok, that was worse than my suggestions…"

He chuckled, "Yeah…it was…um…'Zamboni?'"

She giggled, "You actually want to tell Barnett you're going to 'Zamboni?'"

"Well…not really…"

"Iceboni!"

He turned to look at her, "That sounds really…sexual…"

She smacked him on the arm, "Dirty boy…"

He grinned, "Um…"

"You could name it one of the places we've visited…like a mission…"

"Yeah…but which one?"

"Well…Nice?"

He smiled, "That was a good time…"

"Cap Ferrat?"

"Well, I know you saved me, but I'm not so sure that was my 'happy place.'"

She giggled, "No, sorry…"

"You know I settled on one image…when I was thinking about you…"

She smiled, "What image was that?"

"You and I on the pier…It all seems to lead back to water…" he mused.

She smiled, "Why is that?"

"I'm not sure…I've always liked water…I mean, as a kid, I loved the beach, and I've always played hockey – frozen water…it's kind of a theme I guess."

She smiled, letting him think, loving how his brow furrowed when he was deep in thought.

"You ever read philosophy in college?"

"Uh…yeah I remember a few vague references from a general degree requirement."

Vaughn chuckled, "Heraclitus said once that you couldn't step into the same river twice because other waters are always flowing in and out of it…that kind of always stuck with me…" He paused, "But it was really puzzling too…because it works both ways – yes, the water is changing, flowing, but in essence, the oceans are all one body of water…so it's all the same ocean – the same water, but when you stand in one part of the ocean, the waves bring new water…I guess I like that it can be both…you can be in one place forever, yet everyplace if you think about it…" he stopped shaking his head and looking at her sheepishly, "Sorry…"

She smiled widely, "Ok, first, that was completely fascinating, and you must do that again…like all the time…and it was really adorable, and attractive, and sexy…" she leaned over and kissed him seductively, plunging her tongue into his mouth. She backed away and rested her forehead on his, "You should definitely wax philosophical on me again…"

He smiled, "I'll remember that…"

"Well why don't you name it 'The Pier.'"

"My happy place?"

"Yeah…"

"Hmm…I'm going to the pier…" he smiled, "I can go to the pier."

"Is that what you think you'll call it then?"

"Yeah…I think so…that seemed way too easy."

"Well…easy homework is good."

"Yeah, but Barnett said they won't all be that easy…"

She looked up at him, "You'll be ok…and I'll help if I can."

He smiled, "I know…thank you."

"What do you wanna do before dinner? I was doing work while you were with Barnett…"

"Mmm…can I just stay in my happy place for awhile?"

She chuckled, "Of course…"

"I want you to stay in my happy place too…" he added.

She smiled, "I'm not going anywhere…"

"You wanna watch a movie?" he asked.

"Sure, you wanna try L.A. Confidential again?"

"No, that's ok…you already watched that…let's watch something happy…keep with that theme…"

She smiled, "Ok, I'll go see…"

She came back, "Ok…cause I'm a cool girlfr–, fiancée," she corrected.

He smiled widely at her, "Yes?"

"I thought this might be a good choice…" she handed him the movie.

"You are cool…and yeah, I haven't scene it…but I wanted to."

"Well, good…cause it's really a fun guy movie, but it's fun for girls too – all the hot men…"

"Hey, you got a hot man right here…" he said slightly hurt.

She approached the bed, and lay down next to him, kissing him possessively, "I have a very hot man, who I love very, very, very much…but I can still admire beauty…" she said with a wink.

He smiled, "I love you too…but you realize, that means I can look too…"

She smiled, "Yes, but I can still hit you when you do."

"True, very true," he said as she snuggled into him as the main title began…


	151. To The Brink

Thank you so much **froggygrl101** for being the only one to review in for the last 14 chapters. This update is dedicated to you!

* * *

**Chapter 151: To the Brink**

"In love there are two things – bodies and words." – Joyce Carol Oates

"Love: that's self-love à deux." – Madame de Staël

"I like men to behave like men – strong and childish." – Françoise Sagan

"Is that a gun in your pocked, or are you just glad to see me?" – Mae West

"I like a man that takes his time." – Mae West

* * *

"Wow," Vaughn replied as the credits rolled. He chuckled, "Did you see that? Introducing Julia Roberts?" 

Sydney smirked, "Yeah, I laughed my ass off in the theater…Francie and I went…girls night out…"

"That was really good…I liked it…"

"Good," Sydney said, looking up at him, "I thought you'd like it."

"Didn't see that coming at all…"

"No, they do a good job."

"You can do that you know…"

"What?" Sydney asked.

"Have a girls night out or whatever…I'm ok…I can be alone…"

"You could have a boys night in…"

Vaughn smiled, "We could…but I can be alone too…"

"We'll see…" Sydney said smiling, "We should think about dinner…you hungry?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Well for now, it's just us…we didn't have a big lunch…should I throw a couple steaks on the grill? We can eat outside?"

"What would be heavenly," Vaughn said with a smile.

"Ok, I'll go get the grill started, then come back and get you…k?"

"Yeah, sounds great."

Sydney kissed him quickly and then grabbed the steaks out of the freezer and went to start the grill. She came back in once it was going and ran back to the bedroom, "You want potatoes?"

"Sure, if you wanna make 'em…"

She smiled, "I'll make them."

She whisked back out and got the potatoes started on the grill and then walked back for Vaughn.

"K, ready?"

"Yup," he said reaching his hand out to her.

She grabbed his hand and helped him stand and they walked out to the patio. She deposited him in the lawn chair and checked the grill, then went back into the house to get the steaks.

The phone rang just as she was ready to walk the steaks out to the grill.

"Hello?"

"Hey Syd…"

"Hi Will, what's up?"

"Francie and I are going to be late…like really late…catering thing…clean up – NOT fun…but I'm required…"

Sydney giggled, "Ok, we'll see you later then."

"Ok, I'm sure you'll have more fun then me…"

"I'm sure Will…"

"Later," Will said.

"Bye," Sydney replied.

She put the phone down and walked back to the grill, "Francie and Will are gonna be late…really late…"

"Ok," Vaughn said, "That means we're all alone…got the whole place to ourselves…"

Sydney turned to him, pointing with the grill tongs, "Is your mind in the gutter again?"

"Isn't yours?" he asked cheekily.

She smiled and turned back to the grill, "Well…you ARE in the lawn chair…"

He smiled, "Wonderful things have happened in this very chair – I mean I beat your dad sitting right here."

She turned to him, "Keep that up, and you'll be wearing this steak sitting right there."

"Just saying…"

Sydney put the steaks on the grill and then went back to sit next to Vaughn on the chair, "Well…we got awhile before everything is ready…no Will…no Francie…whatever shall we do?"

Vaughn smiled as he wrapped his arm around her, "Mmm…can't imagine…"

She buried her head in his neck and breathed fiery air over the area as she moved her lips along his jugular. She darted her tongue out and traced the vein and then nipped gently.

"Mmm…" was the only response she harvested from him, but when she stopped to look at him, his eyes were closed and she could see the bulge starting to rise in his pants.

She continued her assault, moving closer to his Adam's apple, while her hand started to snake down his chest. She moved slowly across the soft material, snagging along the buttons and making him squirm when he soon realized where her hand was going to be traveling.

She smiled against him, her lips hot and moist as they moved along his flushed skin. Her hand found it's way to the coarse material of his jeans, her hand running over the top, her nail raking over the silver button, making an almost inaudible grating noise.

She moved her hand down the seam of his jeans, slowly adding pressure as his moans started to increase. She kept the top half of him distracted with her mouth, her tongue now back near his ear, having retraced the pattern she just made. She breathed deeply in his ear; the sensation and heat making him shiver and buck into her waiting hand. She cupped him through the jeans, snaking her hand to the seam of the pants and gripping tighter, causing more of his cock to push against the confining material.

He suddenly realized that he didn't want to be the only one being slowly driven insane. He moved his hand from where is was gripping her hip to the place where her shirt met her own jeans. Stealthily, he wormed his hand between the two articles and before she knew what hit her, his hand was tightly grabbing and kneading her ass.

She stopped and looked up at him smiling, "Had to join in the fun teasing, huh?"

"Most definitely," he said almost breathlessly, "That food is gonna be done long before you're done teasing me…I just wanna make sure you're as wet as I am hard when we eat…"

She grinned evilly, and gripped him hard, making him arch off the chair and unconsciously tighten his own grip on her ass. She moaned into his neck as the sensation washed over her and he smiled victoriously.

"Turn," he said in a commanding voice as he removed his hand from her pants.

She smiled and complied, letting him out of her grip and turned in his embrace so that she was laying similarly to the way he was, her body at more of an angle than his since it was half resting on him.

He snaked his hand down the front of her shirt, cupping and squeezing her right breast on his way down, and made his way to the top of her pants. Once he reached this point, he gently traced along the front of the jeans with one finger before suddenly worming his hand into her pants again. However, this time, his hand had better access to an even better spot.

He worked his hand under her underwear, and delved into the patch of curls, ruffling his fingers through them on his way to something even sweeter.

His breath hitched slightly as he started to feel how wet she was already. She pushed forward onto his hand, causing his finger to brush against her clit. She let out a long drawn out moan, as he rubbed the pad of his pointer finger into her clit in circles before taking and rolling it between his pointer and thumb.

She bucked against his hand and he tightened his grip. Her body jerked at the contact, pushing in both directions, to get more contact with him and more contact with his hand.

He smiled at her reaction and licked up the back of her neck, from the point where her shirt ended all the way to her hairline. She pushed her head back and he brought his upward so that her head was on his shoulder, his able to get a better view of what his hand was doing.

He brought his hand down further; keeping his thumb pressed against her clit and pressed two fingers inside her wet depths. She moaned loudly, her face crinkled in pleasure, her wetness dripping onto his fingers, coating them thoroughly.

She was panting breathily, so close to release as he kept up his motions, thrusting his fingers in and out of her, his thumb incessant on her clit. He watched her closely, waiting for signs of imminent release, and at the first sign, he abruptly pulled his fingers out of her, and removed his hand from her pants.

She looked at him wildly when she realized he'd stopped, "Vaughn…wha?" she asked, desperate for breath.

He pressed a kiss to her temple, then to her cheek, his hand, still wet with her juices resting on top of the button of her jeans, "So, you think the steak is ready?" he asked nonchalantly, as though his fingers weren't still coated in her essence.

She craned her neck to look at him, "You bastard…" she said shaking her head and rising from the chair shakily.

He grinned like a fool and brought his fingers to his mouth, slowly licking her moisture from them, "Just returning the favor dear," he said happily.

She grinned back at him, "That was pretty good…" she admitted, checking the grill.

"Thank you, I thought so…" he replied proudly.

She turned off the grill and started to put the steak and potatoes on plates. She disappeared in the house and got drinks and then still smiling and shaking her head, brought him his plate.

She set the plate on his lap and sat on the ground next to him. She happily began to cut her steak and potatoes and then commenced eating. She looked up at him with barely contained laughter, "What?" she asked innocently.

He grinned, "Ok, you win…I'm a bastard…can you please cut this for me?"

She smiled triumphantly, "Well…since you asked so nicely…" she grabbed the plate and gave him a sly smile, cutting the meat and potatoes for him.

She handed it back to him and he accepted it gratefully, "Thank you."

"You're welcome…" she smiled victoriously.

"You're gonna get me back, aren't you?"

"You bet your bastard ass I am," Sydney said quickly and shortly.

Vaughn smirked, "I'm in trouble…"

"Yup," she replied as she took another bite of her meal. She smiled sweetly and cut up another piece of the meat for him.

They both finished eating and Sydney took the plates back to the kitchen. She checked the grill and came back to him…


	152. Grass Starins

**Chapter 152: Grass Stains **

_"Sex is emotion in motion." – Mae West _

"A chair is a very difficult object. A skyscraper is almost easier. That is why Chippendale is famous." – Ludwig Mies van der Rohe

"I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars." – Walt Whitman

"Until man duplicates a blade of grass, nature can laugh at his so called scientific knowledge." – Thomas Edison

"Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite." – Unknown

**

* * *

**

She looked down at him seductively. She surveyed him from her station above him, from head to toe.

She met his eyes, and a shared heat and longing assailed her. She could visibly see his breath was coming out faster than normal as her eyes rove over his form.

"Syd…" he said quietly, but he didn't get any more words out. She dove suddenly, landing in his lap. He let out a low grunt as she landed, but her mouth on his, sucking on his lips and tongue, tangling and dueling made the impact disappear altogether.

She started a rocking rhythm the moment her lips descended on his, her hips rolling against him, bringing his semi-hard cock to full erectness in a matter of seconds.

He threaded his hand in her hair, pulling her down on his mouth just as hard as she was assailing his. They parted briefly to breathe, both huffing at the lack of oxygen.

She smiled and stepped up her rocking; the chair edging dangerously on collapse, but neither seemed to notice. She dove for his mouth again, her hands framing his face as she lashed against his teeth and took his lip into her mouth, sucking roughly.

His eyebrows arched at her aggressiveness and she smiled naughtily, "You made me so fucking horny," she breathed.

His cock swelled at her remark, becoming painfully encased in his over-tight jeans.

The chair creaked and rocked as she continued her movements over his confined cock, and finally, with a sharp snap, it collapsed, sending both of them to the ground with a jumble of limbs and assorted curses.

Vaughn landed hard on his back, Sydney's weight pressed against him. He let out a grunt, followed by a low moan as his muscles reeled from the impact.

Sydney stopped, "Vaughn…are you ok?" she asked worriedly, searching his face for indication of injury.

"Ahh…ow…" he muttered, before an exaggerated, "shit."

She caressed his cheek, "Hey…I'm sorry honey…you ok?"

"Mmm…yeah…think so…" he said gingerly picking his head up a bit. The plastic lay awkwardly beneath him, the metal jutting outwards at odd, bent angles.

"Jesus Sydney…we just broke a lawn chair…" he said in disbelief.

She burst out laughing and he soon joined in.

"Yes, I guess we did," she said, looking down at him. Her face turned serious; "Really, are you ok? I'm really sorry…"

He grinned, "I'm ok…I think I might be sore tomorrow…but…yeah…it was so worth it to be able to say we broke a chair having sex."

She chuckled, "Well, not if we kill you in the process…"

He smiled, "I'm ok…and you're not gonna leave me like this…so…please, continue."

She returned his smile and promptly got off of him.

"What? Sydney…where are you going?" he asked in a worried tone.

She offered her hand and he accepted, sitting up slightly. She shook her head, indicating that he didn't need to sit up all the way. Instead, she eased him off the chair and onto the soft grass.

"Mmm…much better…this isn't as hard as it looks…very soft grass…" he noted.

"It's as hard as it looks Vaughn…" Sydney said seductively, bringing his attention back to her.

He smiled and nodded, "Well, THAT is as hard as it looks, yes…"

She dove for his mouth, straddling him again and planting her center over the bulge in his jeans. She rocked herself back and forth over it, the combined jean material doing wonders friction-wise on her clit.

She moaned as her hands splayed out on his chest, one under the sling, which was slightly shifted off of his chest, gently pressing as she rocked.

His other hand was on her hip, kneading in time with her rocking motions, the friction doing wonders for him as well.

"Sydney," he choked out.

She looked down at him, "Yeah?" she asked breathlessly.

"If you don't let me out of these pants…I'm gonna implode…"

She giggled, "Well, we should take care of that then…"

She moved down to sit on his thighs, and reached up a hand, eyeing him enticingly.

The enticement turned to hunger as she popped the button on his jeans and then slowly dragged the zipper down. The noise seemed amplified a hundred times; all other sounds stopped, all he could hear was the zipper as it slowly started to help bring him to freedom.

He picked up his head to look at her and she moved from his thighs to between his legs, spreading then as she moved. She grabbed onto his thighs momentarily and squeezed rhythmically as she looked up at him and licked her lips slowly. He watched as her tongue roved first her top lip, starting at the left side and slowly, agonizingly rolled across to the other side before continuing in a circle to lick the bottom lip as well.

His eyes hooded immediately, knowing that in a few short moments, those lips and tongue would be around his cock, sucking and licking, so warm and wet, he could feel it now…and she hadn't even taken his cock out of his pants yet.

She looked up at him and then down at the bulge, snaking her hand into his boxers through the opening and pulled him out gently. She smiled at him, and moved her head down to his cock, never breaking eye contact. She darted her tongue out to the tip, lapping at the moisture there and then licked around the head before encasing him her mouth.

He groaned as she sucked hard on the tip, making his hips jerk upward and his head press back into the soft grass. He could feel the soft blades ticking his neck and head. It was enticing, albeit slightly annoying, but it enhanced the sensations Sydney was creating for some reason. He was concentrating so hard on not feeling the grass that he felt what Sydney was doing even more significantly.

She swirled her tongue around the tip as her hand began to work on the shaft. She had him humming, his head turning from side to side in a matter of minutes, the foreplay from before having him more than ready. She smiled and grabbed the shaft hard at the base, her other hand reaching into the boxers to fondle his balls.

He lurched again, a cry rippling from his throat as Sydney massaged his tense and sensitive sack. She kept her mouth on him, and her hand gripped around the base, pulsing her hand against him, gripping hard and then loosening slightly, gripping, loosening, gripping, loosening, a constant pulse that was driving him insane. She felt his balls rise and tense in her fingers as she kept massaging, but she didn't want it over for him that soon.

She moved her hand position up farther on his balls, making a loose grip. She looked up at him, his head resting on the grass, his chest rising and falling quickly and pulled gently on his sack. She pulled again gently while stroking his cock lightly.

His hips jerked again in response, a deep moan making its way out to fill the backyard with a deliciously sensuous sound.

He picked his head up gently and looked down at her.

She smiled and said quietly, "Not yet…"

He watched as she let go of him and quickly stood, taking her jeans and panties off just as quickly. She was back on him in no time, her center millimeters away from his straining cock.

She spread herself and gently took him inside her, feeling her walls stretch and let gravity do the rest as she sank onto him fully. He had to let his head fall back against the grass, the angle too taxing, too awkward. He was torn however, he wanted to see Sydney, but with no pillow, he couldn't make his head stay that way.

She sensed his struggle, and shifted on him, sending him to delightfully new places inside her, his cock bumping into sensitive spots on the sides and back of her silky walls.

"Mmm…" was the response she got from him as she placed her hands on either side of his head.

When he realized what she was doing, he reached his hand up and cupped her face, bringing her down to kiss him. They kissed softly, their tongues dancing gently as they breathed each other in.

Sydney backed off slightly, moving to Vaughn's neck and nuzzling by his ear. His hips picked up a thrusting rhythm in response to her kissing, the combination of Sydney latched onto the side of his neck and the grass tickling the back, movement became compulsory.

Sydney let him take over for the moment, happy to lavish such attention on his neck. He was still completely clothed, which was a strange contrast to their usual lovemaking. Her bottom half was completely bare, her knees digging into the grass slightly, the blades making intricate criss-cross patterns on her skin. She had a fleeting thought that she'd have to wash her knees for sure after this one, but that thought left her when she felt Vaughn hit a spot deep inside her. She was forced upward with the contact, her head thrown back as far as she could reach from her position atop him.

She clamped down hard on him, her muscles aching to feel every inch of him inside her. On every upstroke, she would pulse her muscles on him, hold him inside and then let him go. He arched his head up as the tension mounted, pressing it against her shoulder.

She brought her head down too, making a pocket for his head, Sydney's breath hot on his neck as he arched into her, his breath hot on her shoulder as she bent over him, meeting his thrusts with downward force.

"Uh…Sydney…" he rasped, muffled slightly by his position as his hips jerked upward, his seed surging inside her. It wasn't a surprise that he came, but the intensity of the splash inside her sent her reeling into her own orgasm. She cried out suddenly as the sensations washed over her; her skin instantly felt ablaze, a rush of warmth disseminating and diffusing outward from her core.

Vaughn grabbed at the grass, desperate for something to ground him as he lost himself inside Sydney. Fistfuls of green wisps were torn haphazardly as his climax surged through him.

Finally, he collapsed back on the grass, his head hitting the ground with a soft thud. Sydney looked down at him; his face flushed, his hair sweaty, his shirt sticking to him more that it had before, breathing shaky. His eyes were unfocused and glassy, but he was smiling at her.

She smiled back at him; still feeling him hard and filling her, moisture beginning to spiral back out onto him, "Hi…" she said quietly, brushing the sweaty hair back.

"Hey," he said.

"You ok?" she asked.

He nodded, "Um…yeah…I think so…I'm gonna be really sore tomorrow I think…"

She softened more, "Oh baby, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to hurt you…"

"No, it's ok…you didn't hurt me…" he paused, "I'm not sure you can feel it, but I'm still coming," he said with a slight shudder, "I don't have anything to complain about."

She squeezed him as she smiled, "I can feel it, and that's not an excuse for hurting you…I have to be more gentle."

"No, really, I'm ok…" he said, "I think it was more the chair breaking than anything else."

She chuckled, "I got a little overzealous…"

"It's ok…I hope we didn't ruin my new shirt," he said, adding, "I'm gonna have grass stains on my ass from all that rocking…"

She smiled down at him, "Well…then I'll have to get you new jeans too…call you from the store…"

"Mmm…" he paused, "Um…I think we need to have sex again…on the grass, right now…"

She giggled, "I think we need to get you in the house before the cold night air gives you pneumonia…or Will and Francie come home to find us plastered in the grass…"

He smiled, "Well…ok."

Sydney extracted herself from him, their mixed liquids slowly leaking out, dripping down her thighs. She smiled down at him as he watched it run out, a rather satisfied smile appearing as though he were proud he had put it there.

She reached out her hand and helped him sit, and then hauled him to his feet. He winced and let out a groan unconsciously, making Sydney give him a disapproving look.

"I'm ok," he assured her.

She looked at him seriously, "You better not be lying to me…" she said as she tucked him back in his pants and they started to walk back to the house.

She sat him on the bed and started to remove his clothes. He yawned tiredly as she removed pieces, smiling at his fatigue. She scolded herself for letting him stay outside that long, on the cold ground, and hoped that he wouldn't be sick in the morning.

She laid him back, not bothering with pajamas, and removed the rest of her clothing before crawling in the bed with him.

She snuggled into him, his eyes were already closed, sleep taking him quickly. She smiled and drifted off, still feeling them mixed together inside her.


	153. Sneezing Developments

**Chapter 153: Sneezing Developments**

"_Reach high, for the stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal." – Pamela Vaull Starr _

"If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances." – Julia Sorel

"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love." – Hubert Humphrey

"The healthy, the strong individual, is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he has an abscess on his knee or in his soul." – Rona Barrett

* * *

Sydney woke early the next morning. She had no idea why, but perhaps it hadn't been as late as she thought when they went to bed. She smiled as she looked down at Vaughn, resting comfortably. She got off the bed and threw on her robe. 'Man, I need a shower,' she thought to herself with a smile.

She opened the door quietly and padded out to the kitchen. Will and Francie were standing in the kitchen, talking quietly.

"Hey," Will said when he saw her.

"Hi Syd," Francie added.

"Hey guys…"

"You guys musta went to bed early last night, huh? We got home and you were already in bed…"

Sydney smiled, "Ya know, I really didn't even look at the clock, but yeah, I think it was early."

Will's brow furrowed, "Mike didn't have a bad session, did he?"

"No, not at all, quite the opposite actually, it went very well."

"Aww, that's great," Francie said with a smile.

"You want some coffee?" Will asked Sydney.

"Sure, that'd be great."

He handed her the mug, "Ya know, I was gonna ask…" he started, "We thought you were still awake at first, cause the patio door was open."

"Oh shit, I forgot to shut it…" she said, a look of horror on her face, "Did you find Donovan?"

"Yeah, the fence kept him in…he was just kinda happy I think to be wandering in and out of the house."

Sydney smiled, "Well, that's good…I'm glad he didn't get out or anything…God, Vaughn would kill me…"

Will smiled, "Nah, he can't get out…he seemed really happy, but I didn't start this conversation because you left the door open…"

"Oh," Sydney said, "What then?"

He looked to Francie, who took over the questioning, producing something that was sitting on a chair, "This…is what Will was going to ask about…" she said holding up Sydney's jeans.

Sydney smiled, "Um…what about them?"

Francie smiled, "We found them outside…in a heap…thrown precariously on the ground…"

"And?" Sydney asked, on the verge of losing it completely.

Will smiled evilly, "Well…we were struck with what exactly could have occurred to create such a leftover…"

Sydney burst out laughing, "I don't think either one of you really want me to answer that…"

Francie's eyebrow rose, "Well…we could compare…"

Will's mouth fell open, a look of complete shock on his face. For a moment, he just stared at the two women and then began to fumble for words, "You aren't really…you can't…that's just…aw man…why isn't Mike awake…I could…I need to go…" he said and then walked out into the back yard.

Francie burst out into giggles, Sydney joining in, "You did that on purpose didn't you?" Sydney asked her.

Francie smiled, "Well…yeah…I saw the jeans…and thought of the perfect opportunity."

Sydney giggled, "You're so bad…"

"Yeah, he likes it…" Francie added, "I took the liberty of not letting him find these," she said holding Sydney's panties out to her.

"Thank you," Sydney said with a bashful smile.

Francie just smirked as Sydney tucked the pair into the pocket of her robe.

Will came back in suddenly, "OK!" he said, "Now, I'm not comfortable with the whole 'comparing' thing – but what the hell happened to the lawn chair?"

Sydney started to giggle again, "What do you mean?" she asked innocently.

He looked at her sideways, his head cocked to the side, "Yeah – ok first, I get the whole jeans thing – but you BROKE A CHAIR?"

Francie burst out laughing, "Did you really?"

Sydney tried valiantly to stop her laughter, but she failed completely, "I'm sorry…" she stopped, dissolving into giggles, "That was my fault…I'll get a new one…"

Will turned and walked back out, shaking his head, leaving the girls alone to talk.

Francie looked at Sydney, "Well if you broke a chair, I mean, I get why you left the jeans," she said with a wink.

Sydney smirked, "I…got a little…overzealous…"

Francie giggled along with her, "That good, huh?"

"Always is," Sydney said, not a ounce of humor in her voice.

Francie smiled, "I'm glad Sydney…that you found someone…someone so right for you…Michael's that person…"

Sydney smiled, "I know…I love him so much Francie…I don't know what I'd do without him…"

"I can tell Sydney…we all can…and he loves you too…"

Sydney smiled bashfully, "I should go check on him…"

"Ok…you want me to make breakfast?"

"Um…let me see, I'll come right back out and let you know."

"Ok," Francie said, venturing out to see Will running around with Donovan.

Sydney opened the door quietly, in case Vaughn was still sleeping. She barely had the door open when she heard a rather loud, 'ACHOO,' followed by a low groan.

She threw the door open and practically ran over to the bed, the door closing loudly as she sped over.

Vaughn jumped as he sniffled, "Jesus Sydney!" he said as he winced in pain.

She was on the bed in a second, "Are you ok?" she asked worriedly.

"Mmm…yeah, I'm ok…" he said rather unconvincingly.

She stared down at him with an accusatory glance, "You're lying to me…" she said.

He smiled, "You weren't supposed to hear that sneeze…" he said with a guilty look.

"You're sick aren't you?" she asked, but it was more of a statement. She shook her head, "I should have known better, I'm sorry Vaughn," she said getting up.

He attempted to sit up to stop her, but moved too fast, "Ow…" he said laying back down.

She immediately moved back to him, "Aww honey…Vaughn, I'm sorry…" she said, shaking her head, "Just relax…"

He reached his hand out to make her look at him, "I'm ok…I'm a little sore…and I've got a…well…a cold…but I'm ok…really…"

She had to admit he sounded convincing, "Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes," he said, looking her straight in the eyes, jade to chocolate.

She smiled, "Ok…Francie wants to know if you're hungry…"

"Yeah, I could ea–" ACHOO! "Eat…" he said sniffling.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry…"

"Sydney, it was worth it…we broke a chair," he said with a sly grin.

"Yeah, Francie and Will already teased me about it…I'm sure it's your turn soon."

He giggled, "Can I have a Kleenex?" he asked sniffing.

She smiled, somewhat sadly, "Yeah, just a second honey," she said bounding off to the bathroom. She came back with the box and handed one to him.

He grabbed it and attempted to blow, but it didn't work very well. She smiled down at him sympathetically and grabbed another tissue, placing it by his nose, "Blow," she said.

He looked at her rather strangely, but did as she asked and blew.

She smiled, "Are you gonna be ok?"

"Yeah…cold…sore…I'm ok…really…you can make it all better later…" he said hinting.

"Ok, but we're doing it in bed," she informed him.

He smiled, "Ok."

"What would you like?"

"Mmm…do we have any oatmeal?"

She smiled, "I think we do…strawberries and cream…" she said running her hand up and down his bare chest, "I'll go check, ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

Sydney walked back out and was greeted again by Will and Francie, who had both come inside; Donovan was lying by his water dish.

Will looked at Sydney, "If you are gonna talk about comparison – I'm gonna take Donovan for a walk, just saying."

Sydney smiled, "No, Francie and I are done with that for now I think."

Francie asked, "Michael hungry?"

"He just asked for oatmeal, he's got a cold…kinda sore…I don't think we'll be doing too much today."

Will smirked, "You hurt him with the chair?"

Sydney shot him a look.

"Sorry," he said, eyes moving downcast.

Sydney moved around them to get the oatmeal packet out of the cupboard. She nuked it after grabbing the milk and waited for it to finish.

Will looked worriedly at Francie, "I'm sorry Sydney…I didn't mean to say…"

She looked over at him, "No, I'm sorry…I'm just…I have to be more careful with him…"

Will shared a sideways glance at Francie, not knowing what to say.

Sydney poured a glass of milk and a glass of orange juice, and waited a minute while she made some toast and put it all on a tray with Vaughn's pills and started to carry it into the bedroom.

Will looked at Francie, "I shouldn't have said that," he said quietly.

"You didn't know Will," she said moving over to him, wrapping her arm around him.

He shook his head, "Yeah…" They stood in the kitchen for several minutes before parting to finish getting ready for work.

Sydney came back into the bedroom and closed the door, sitting the tray on Vaughn's lap.

"Hey," he said, noticing something off, "You ok?" he asked.

She smiled, "Yeah…I'm ok…I just…I'm really sorry…I have to be more careful with you…this is all my fault – I should have taken you inside."

Vaughn looked at her seriously, "I wanted it just as much as you did…this is not a 'you' did this – this is a 'we' did this…ok?"

"Well I was–"

"Sydney," he said cutting her off, "Don't…I'm not letting you do that…ACHOO!"

She smiled and had to giggle, "That's really convincing since you sneezed after." She gave him a spoonful of oatmeal.

"Mmm…that's really good – you should have a bite."

She smiled and took one, "Yes, it is – I make a mean bowl of oatmeal…I made toast too – aren't I just Holly Homemaker?"

He smiled, "Quite."

She fed him another bite and gave him his juice and pills as well.

He took the pills and looked up at her, "Can we take a bath?" he asked.

"Sure honey," she replied smiling at him, "Maybe that'll help your cold…and the muscles…"

He nodded; then added, "Can we take a shower?"

She looked at him dumbfounded, "Um…do you think you can stand for a shower?"

"Well…I have been standing more…"

"I know baby…I just…don't want you to hurt yourself more…" she smiled down at him, "If you think you can do it…we'll give it a try…"

"Yeah, I wanna try…if you help…I think we can…"

"Ok," she said nodding, "Let's finish up, then we'll try the shower…"

"Ok," he said accepting another spoonful from her.


	154. Sources of Comfort

**Chapter 154: Sources of Comfort **

_"I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from things that don't work out; that's when I've really learned." – Carol Burnett _

"Sometimes things which at the moment may be perceived as obstacles – and actually have been obstacles, difficulties, or drawbacks – can in the long run result in some good end which would not have occurred if it had not been for the obstacle." – Steve Allen

"Lightness of touch and living in the moment are intertwined. Once cannot dance well unless one is completely in time with the music, not leaning back to the last step or pressing forward to the next one, but poised directly on the present step as it comes." – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"He who has the why to live can bear with almost any how." – Friedrich Neitzsche

**

* * *

**

"Ugh…I'm so full…" he said, handing her the empty glass of orange juice.

She giggled, "Ok, you ate like a good boy, you can be done," she told him.

He smiled, "Are we gonna attempt the shower now?"

She returned the smile, "Yeah, let me get rid of this stuff, then we'll try it…ok?"

He nodded as she got up off the bed and took the tray back out to the kitchen, putting the dishes in the dishwasher quickly. The house was quiet, Francie and Will must have left for work, she thought.

She came back into the room, smiling at him, "Ok…ready?"

"Yup," he replied, reaching out for her.

She accepted his hand and helped him sit, then stand in front of her. She could tell he was sore, and stiff as well, it seemed his back was the most affected part of his body, which made sense, since they both landed on it. He let out a groan and his face contorted in what Sydney would only call agony, but he tried to hide it from her. She decided not to say anything and just get him to the shower. She threw his robe around him and they moved slowly, Sydney setting an unhurried pace, more deliberate that usual.

She sat him on the usual chair as she prepped the shower, turning it on and adjusting the temperature. She came back to him and took off the wrap and bandages on the front of his body and then moved to his back. She traced a long horizontal line that ran from one shoulder to the other, about an inch in height. "Oh Vaughn," she said, as he jerked away slightly.

She moved to the look at him, "Ok…see…that's why – no more…"

He looked up at her wildly, terror in his eyes, "No more sex?"

She smiled, cupping his cheek, "No…not that…no more dangerous sex…no more sex that hurts you…that's gonna be a bruise for awhile…" she said shaking her head and moving around to the back of him again.

She was scared when she started to take off the bandages. She left the infected one for last, like she usually did, and the other wounds seemed to be ok; there wasn't any more damage. She slowly peeled at the tape on the bandage that covered the infected wound, scrunching her eyes slightly to see if he was in any pain.

He pulled away again slightly, and Sydney stopped peeling. She tried to get a better look at the wound, but she couldn't really see anything.

"Vaughn…"

"Yeah?" he asked in a strained voice.

"I think it's stuck to the wound again…"

"Yeah…I know," he stated simply.

"Should I get it off or do you just want to see if it'll come off in the shower?"

"Mmm…is it gonna bleed if you do it now?"

"I'm not sure, it might…"

"Then let's wait."

"Ok," she agreed, disrobing and helping him stand to do the same. She walked him to the shower, and checked the temperature once more.

"Ok, I'll get in first…then you step in, ok?"

He nodded and waited patiently as she got in the shower. She reached for him again and tired to support as much of his weight as possible so he would have enough leverage to get into the shower.

She was surprised that he did so with relative ease, but he got a little shaky once both of his feet were in the stall. She latched onto him, stepping closer, so she was holding him up, and he could lean on her if he needed to.

She backed them closer to the showerhead, so that he was directly under the spray. The water hit his back with a light force, and he hissed slightly as it hit the infected wound through the bandage.

"You ok?"

"Yeah…just…water pressure on the wound," he said.

She moved them instantly, so that his back wasn't under the water.

"Mmm…no, it's ok Sydney…it just…hurt at first…really…it felt nice everywhere else…"

"You sure?" she asked.

"Mmmhmm…"

She nodded and moved him back, trying to maneuver him so that the spray his other parts of his back instead of the infected wound. His left arm lay listlessly by his side, his right corded around Sydney's waist, and his head had gradually fallen to rest on her shoulder. He sighed happily as the heat pounded on his back, Sydney's hand threaded through his hair, stopping to cradle his neck every once in a while. He had to force himself to stand back up.

"You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah, if I don't stand, I'm gonna fall asleep…that would be bad…"

She smirked, "Yeah, sleeping in the shower is not a good idea at this point…let's wash your hair ok?"

"Mmm…yeah…k," he said happily.

She smiled and grabbed the shampoo bottle, managing to support him and still get some shampoo out of the bottle. She replaced the bottle on its perch and ran the hand with the shampoo through his hair. She worked it all over his head; his eyes fell closed almost immediately, as she massaged her way through his hair. She gently eased him back, holding onto his neck with one hand while the other rid his hair of the soap.

When she finished, he was humming lowly, a blissful smile on his face.

She couldn't help but smile back at him, something so simple as a shower made him deliriously happy, but then she realized he hadn't been able to take a shower in a while, and you start to miss the little things…

He looked over at her, his face the epitome of contentedness, "That was nice…"

She grinned, "Well…let's make it nicer," she said, moving him back into the spray again and grabbing the bar of soap from the ledge. She lathered her hands and ran them over his chest, her fingers dancing lightly over his nipples, his pecs; the muscles flexing and relaxing under her touch.

His eyes fell closed again as she rubbed his shoulders from the front, washed his neck and sides gently. She turned him around slowly, and moved her hands tenderly over the wounds on his back, rubbing his shoulders from behind and bringing him back to lean against her for a moment, letting the water rinse away the soap from his chest. She eased his right arm over his head, washed under and around his arm before gently doing the same to the left arm. She fluttered kisses along his back as she moved him again to rinse under the spray, his head falling back again to rest on her shoulder. She pressed her lips against his temple, letting him relax for a minute before continuing on.

When she started again, she pushed him away from her, avoiding any place that would cause him pain. "We need to wash the rest of you…" she said softly, suggestively.

"Mmm…what are you gonna…wash?" he asked with a smile.

Steam wove its way like smoke up around the top of the shower, swirling above their heads as Sydney traced his abdomen with her hands. The steam was heavy, creating a gray, foggy, moist mist, keeping them in a surreal bubble, a warm sanctuary where that no one could invade. She took her hands away momentarily, grabbing the soap again and lathered her hands, reaching to stroke his cock with her soapy digits.

It took all of two strokes to get him hard; Sydney smiled proudly as she watched his length expand in more than one direction. Her other hand made its way below his cock, coating his balls with soapy residue. She rolled them between her fingers, the soap dripping off of him slowly.

She kept her one hand stroking his cock, while she bent slightly to wash over his ass and thighs.

She giggled, "If I let go of you…will you fall?" she asked.

"Mmm…probably, right now…yeah…" he said in a shaky voice.

She smiled, "Here…sit for a minute then…" she said maneuvering him to the shower ledge, sitting him down.

She looked at him, her eyes full of love as she started to wash the rest of his legs and feet.

He watched her, his eyes cloudy, and when she looked up, she swore they were the same color as the mist that was surrounding them.

"I'm gonna wash my hair, ok? You be alright sitting for a minute?" she asked.

"Yeah…"

She looked down at his state of arousal and moved down to kiss him, "When I'm done with my hair, we'll take care of that…"

He smiled up at her, "We should take care of you sometimes," he said, his smile faltering slightly as he looked down at the shower floor.

"No guilt Vaughn," she said firmly as she brought his chin up to look at her, "No guilt."

He attempted a smile, but she knew what she said didn't really have any effect.

She turned and grabbed the shampoo bottle, and drizzled a generous amount into her palm before starting to work it into her hair. She turned to face him, a lazy smile on his face.

"What?" she asked, dimples blaring.

"You're beautiful," he said softly, watching the water cascade over her body, the rivulets running in every direction. He found it fascinating to follow their path visually from the top of her shoulder, down the curve of her breast, some dropping off to the shower floor, others making their way sneakily under her breast to continue on down her body.

She smiled modestly as she witnessed his scrutiny.

"You know what I wish?" he asked quietly, barely audible over the sound of the shower.

"What?" she asked, rinsing her hair and moving to kneel in front of him, her hands on his thighs.

"I wish that sometimes…" he stopped.

"What honey?" she prodded.

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if I wouldn't have been taken?" he asked.

She stopped, thinking, "Well…I guess…but not really…what do you mean."

He smirked at her completely different answers, "I just mean…what would we be like? Would we be talking about houses and kids? Designing our life?"

"Would we be this close?" she asked smiling.

"Yeah," he said, glad that she knew what he meant, but it seemed, she always did.

"Vaughn, before this happened to you…I was completely obsessed…obsessed with finding Sloane, capturing him…and then…it all changed…I had to focus on something else, and now, there are days that I never even think about him…not once…do you know what that's like for me? It's like I'm free from him…free from the hold he had over me…you did that…and while I hate that it was THIS that did it, I'm so happy that…well…" she fumbled, "I don't mean to say that I'm happy you were tortured, I just…I mean…"

He stopped her with a finger to her lips, "It's ok…I understand…and…I mean…I hate that I can't do things that I could before, I hate feeling the way I do sometimes, I hate that I can't pick you up and slam you against the wall and fuck you senseless right now…"

She giggled and he smiled before continuing, "But…I mean, I think…I think I'm a better person…this whole thing…it's made me think about what's important…"

"Exactly," Sydney echoed, "You help me set my priorities straight, made me back away and realize that work is not what's important…you are…we are…"

He smiled, "I wouldn't want to go back…would you?"

She shared his smile, "Absolutely not, I would never give up the chance we've had…what we have now…is so much better that what we had then, fuller, intimate." She traced his cheek, "I love you so much Vaughn…"

"I love you too…I don't know what I'd do without you…" he pulled her hand until she was standing between his legs, his head on her chest, her hand running soothingly through his hair.

She bent down and kissed him on the head, "So much…"


	155. Shower of Love

**Chapter 155: Shower of Love **

_"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting." – Gloria Leonard _

"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now." – Unknown

"No one has ever died from an overdose of pornography." – J. Money and P. Tucker

"Pleasure is the only thing to live for. Nothing ages like happiness." – Oscar Wilde

"Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex." – Karl Marx

**

* * *

**

Sydney finally moved away from him slightly, saying, "We should finish rinsing you and then get out of the shower…"

He nodded, and was going to stand up, but she pushed him gently back on the ledge.

"Not yet…" she said with a smile, kneeling down again in between his legs. "First…we're going to do something about this," she said, grabbing his cock and tugging on him gently.

He moaned, his head falling back against the shower wall.

She smiled and began to stroke him, long, deliberate strokes, from the base all the way off the tip and then back down, starting at the base again.

Pre-come oozed from the tip instantly, her finger tracing it and rubbing it down his head. His cock strained upward, enlarging in her hand as it had before, she tightened her grip as she fisted his cock quickly.

She added more sensation by rubbing his balls, massaging, fondling, rolling, before pulling each one individually tenderly in her fingers.

His hips left the ledge momentarily, jerking into her hands, wanting more of whatever she was offering.

She stood up slightly, still bent over him so he was in her hands and kissed him gently, her tongue thrust into his mouth, rolling against his teeth.

She backed away and let her hand stop its motion on his balls while she grabbed his hand instead. She pulled gently, indicating he should stand and he got up and walked with her the short distance back to the spray. She adjusted the temperature slightly, since it had gotten somewhat colder and moved him in front of her, so her breasts were pressed against his back. He leaned into her slightly, careful not to put too much of his weight on her and her hand returned once again to his cock.

The water flowed over his skin, down his chest like it had on Sydney's moments before and sent shockwaves to his brain as Sydney moved him so that the spray of the water hit his cock. She pressed her finger into the spot right below the head, adding even more sensation as the water gently beat down on his dick. She grabbed his balls with her other hand; separating them gently and letting them roll back to their original state. She ran her finger up and down the seam of his sack, making him thrust erratically as she continued to stroke his cock, gripping beneath the head.

He moaned loudly, his head rolling back onto her shoulder, his breath heavy and hard, his eyes looking upward, hazy and lost in feeling. She could tell he was getting close, his hand reaching out absently to brace on the shower wall, in an effort to stay upright and to have something to hang onto.

"Uhhhnnn…Sydney…" he said, "I want…I want…" but with the things Sydney was doing to him, he couldn't finish.

"What do you want baby?" she asked.

"Mmm…stop…" he choked.

She stilled her hand, bringing the stroking to a grip on his cock, "What honey…"

"I wanna…I wanna touch you too…"

"Is this about guilt? Because this is not about each of us getting off Vaughn…"

"No…I wanna touch you," he said seriously.

She thought a moment, "Come here…" she said, moving herself in front of him and backing him to he ledge again. He reached out for her, but she stilled his hand, "You sit here…" she said, moving away from him, back into the spray of the shower.

He looked at her confused, "How am I gonna touch you from way over here?" he asked.

She smiled and grabbed the removable showerhead off of its perch. She directed the spray at him, hitting his chest. He jumped slightly, "What the…"

She smiled again and, eyeing him the whole way, slowly reclined at the other end of the shower, "Watch…and…show me…" she said quietly.

His face skewed in more confusion, but he got the idea really quickly when she spread her legs out in the shower stall and made sure he had a perfect view of her exposed center.

He moaned just watching her, seeing her spread herself open with one hand, her lips parting to show her most intimate of places. Her other hand held the showerhead deftly, and then slowly moved it, directing the spray on her clit. She threw her head back in a moan as the water hit her sensitive nub, more moans escaping and mixing with the rising steam.

He was utterly entranced by what she was doing. They'd talked about this only a few days before, but never in all his life, did he think this was going to take place in the shower, "Jesus Sydney," he breathed.

"You…you too…" she said with a lusty expression.

He didn't need to be told twice. His hand went instantly to his cock; gripping below the head, pre-come seeping out in beads. He moved his hand backward on his cock, creating a pleasing friction. He watched as she directed the spray of water over different parts of her clit, first the left side, then the right, then full-on the front. Her hips jerked away, a moan lurching from deep in her chest. Her breast jutted out, the nipples standing erect like pebbles; he was surprised he didn't come right there.

He started to move his hand more quickly on his cock, fisting it wildly and more roughly that Sydney would have. He reached down to fondle his balls, gently squeezing them each in turn before pulling on the sack a few times. His chest was heavy, he could feel his orgasm rising, his balls tensing beneath his fingers, moving up; preparing for release.

Sydney was a torrent of emotion, she couldn't decide whether she wanted to continue helping herself achieve climax or pounce on Vaughn's cock and suck the climax out of him. She was lost in feeling, the water heavy and hot, pressing rhythmically on her clit. She was mesmerized watching him bring himself to climax. She knew it would be hot, but nothing could have prepared her for seeing Vaughn masturbate. It was, by far, the sexiest thing she had ever seen in her whole entire life. His hand worked over his cock and balls, applying just the right amount of pressure and force. She noted that he was rougher with himself than she was, but that would make sense, he knew how rough he could be…she also knew how rough she could be next time…

She watched him pull on his sack, loving the emotion that washed over his face when he did. He pinched the head, moaning, it was driving her insane. Her climax was approaching fast, the water, beating steadily, his hand, moving so quickly on his cock again. She could tell he was close, their eyes never left each other's bodies, never closed, the fascination and wonder too much to miss even a second.

Sydney inserted a finger inside herself, giving her something to contract around, her orgasm ripping through her as she watched him come; his hips jerking, grunts emanating from him. His semen hit the shower wall forcefully before slowly sliding down the side and melding with the water spiraling down the drain.

Sydney surged forward and attacked his mouth, his chest heaving from the impact of what they'd just done.

His head was damp, not from the water, but from the experience that he'd just endured. Exertion was evident on his face; she doubted that he could get up at the moment.

He surprised her though, his hand darted out to grab hers, the same one that had given her relief as is pressed inside her moments ago, and eagerly sucked the fingers into his mouth.

She smiled and brought her other hand up to run through his hair as he licked her fingers clean, "God…" he said breathing heavily as he let her fingers slip out of his mouth.

She smirked at his lack of control, and grabbed the showerhead and brought it over to him, and rinsed off his head and face, smiling at him as he grinned back, his head finally resting on the wall.

"You ok?" she asked.

He nodded, not able to speak at the moment. When he did, it was incredibly raspy, but extremely sexy, "I can't…believe…we…just…did…that…" he said. "When you…" he stopped, swallowing, "that…finger…damn…"

She giggled, "Well…"

"I am…so tired," he admitted.

She giggled again, "You just rest a few minutes, ok…then we'll get you outta here and back to bed…I'll rinse you off…"

He nodded and let her do whatever she wanted, not really caring at this point. He smiled at her, "Thank you."

She kissed him, "Thank you…that was…wow Vaughn…yeah." She shook her head and rinsed herself off before turning off the shower and helping him tiredly get out of the stall.


	156. Chicken Soup for the Injured Soul

**Chapter 156: Chicken Soup for the Injured Soul **

_"Only the pure of heart can make good soup." – Beethoven _

"It soup breathes reassurance, it offers consolation; after a weary day it promotes sociability...There is nothing like a bowl of hot soup, it's wisp of aromatic steam teasing the nostrils into quivering anticipation." – Louis P. DeGouy

"Do you have a kinder, more adaptable friend in the food world than soup? Who soothes you when you are ill? Who refuses to leave you when you are impoverished and stretches its resources to give a hearty sustenance and cheer? Who warms you in the winter and cools you in the summer? Yet who also is capable of doing honor to your richest table and impressing your most demanding guests? Soup does its loyal best, no matter what undignified conditions are imposed upon it. You don't catch steak hanging around when you're poor and sick, do you?" – Judith Martin

"Chicken Soup: An ancient miracle drug containing equal parts of aureomycin, cocaine, interferon, and TLC. The only ailment chicken soup can't cure is neurotic dependence on one's mother." – Arthur Naiman

**

* * *

**

She helped him sit in the chair again and set to drying him off. He had a satiated grin on his face, but he looked really worn out. She dabbed him with the towel, ruffling his hair and leaving it on his shoulders while she grabbed his razor and shaving cream.

She lathered him and gracefully ran the blade over his face. She rinsed his face and grabbed the aftershave and then knelt down in front of him, "We have to look at the wound…try to get the bandage off…"

He nodded and she stood and removed the towel from his shoulders.

'ACHOO!' was followed with a resounding "OW."

"You ok?" she asked, "No steam anymore…"

"Mmm…that sucked without the wrap…" he said tensely.

"You want me to wait a few minutes?"

"No, just do it…get it over with."

She looked down at the bandage and hoped it would come off without too much trouble. She gripped the edge, and pulled at the soggy tape. The tape came off rather quickly and she slowly started to peel the gauze back. She winced as he pulled away from her, the gauze sticking to the wound. She kept going though, knowing that it had to come off. She was trying to be gentle, but no matter how she tried, it still was hurting him. She pulled the rest off, listening as he groaned with the removal. It was hard to tell how much had been on the bandage because it had gotten so wet, but the wound itself didn't look all that bad considering the way it should have looked. She prodded around the wound, sending him forward with a slight jerk.

"You ok?"

"Mmm…yeah…" he said tiredly, "Ya think maybe we could do this later?" he asked.

She moved to look at him, "You sure you're ok?"

"I'm really tired Sydney…" he said.

She looked concernedly at him, "Aww honey…I'm sorry…"

"No, it's ok…really…I'm just…yeah, shower kinda wore me out…"

"Not the sex then…"

"Lack of sex…" he pointed out.

She smiled, "Not the jerking off then…"

He chuckled, "No…not really…although…" he said his eyebrows rising.

She giggled, "Let me just finish with the bandages, I gotta get them back on…can you sit that long?"

He nodded, yawning.

She kissed his forehead and moved back to the wounds, covering each one again in turn. She put more Cavilon on the infected wound and a TAD and wrapped his ribs before grabbing his hand to help him stand.

She walked him slowly back to the bed and sat him down, then proceeded to grab a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt for him to wear. She dressed him and replaced the sling and then reclined him on the bed.

"You want lunch?" she asked, tracing his jaw line, "Then you can take a nap…how does that sound?"

"Mmm…good."

She smiled, "Ok, I'll make lunch. You care what we have?"

"No," he said tiredly.

"Ok," she got off the bed and went to the kitchen, scouring for something that wouldn't take too long so he wouldn't be asleep by the time she brought it back. She quickly grabbed a can and dumped the contents into a saucepan, and went about grabbing bowls and other utensils.

She brought in the tray, careful not to spill the contents of the lunch, and set it down gingerly on the bed.

"Soup…score." He said with a smile.

"Well…I figured you have a cold, you're all achy and sore, I just wore you out masturbating with you in the shower…should give you soup," she said with a smile and a shrug of her shoulders.

He chuckled, "Good plan…aww…is it chicken and stars?" he asked.

She giggled, "Yes, I think that's a total 'Will purchase.'"

"He should buy all the food in the house," Vaughn commented.

"Yeah, then you'd die of heart failure and clogged arteries within a week…"

"Well, it'd be a helluva way to go…" Vaughn said dreamily.

Sydney laughed, "You're obviously spending WAY too much time around Will…"

Vaughn smiled, "You jealous?"

Sydney smirked, "I want you all to myself of course…"

She moved closer to him and maneuvered so she would be in a good position to help him eat the soup. She tried the spoonfuls, but they both wound up giggling when half of it landed on Vaughn's shirt.

"Maybe I should just drink it…" he suggested.

She smiled, "Good idea, I'll get a mug."

She bolted off the bed and ran to the kitchen, reentering the bedroom moments later with a mug. She grabbed the bowl and transferred the soup to the cup and then handed it back to him.

"I could live on a liquid diet," he said proudly.

She smiled, "You sure? That would mean no tacos…no burgers…no pizza…"

"But…beer…" he said in a purely frat boy way.

She rolled her eyes, "Ugh…Will has NOTHING over on you."

He smiled proudly, "I'll take that as a compliment," he said bringing the mug back to his lips. "Can you fish some of these stars out of here…maybe a piece of chicken or two…"

She giggled, "Sure," she said, taking the mug and getting some of the noodles and chicken on the spoon for him.

"Thank you," he said, taking the cup back and gulping down more broth.

Sydney smiled and ate her own soup, happy that despite his cold, and his slightly injured-again self, he seemed genuinely happy. Of course, they had just…well…yeah, that was something that made her smile…

He noticed her grin, "What?" he asked.

She smirked at him, "Nothing…just…us."

"What about us?"

She snorted, "The shower…Vaughn…I mean I just got done telling you that we had to go easy…we had to cool it…and we do that in the shower? Where is my mind?"

"I like where your mind is Sydney…" Vaughn said simply, "Your mind keeps mine sane…"

She looked over at him, watching him look down at his mug, "Hey," she said lifting his chin, "I'm always here…"

"I know," he said smiling at her.

She smiled back, kissing him softly, "You done?" she asked.

He nodded and handed her the mug.

"Pills," she said handing him his usual assortment.

He took them and she took the glass too, grabbed the tray and cleaned up.

She came back into the room again, "You should nap…"

He nodded tiredly, "K, yeah…you're full of good ideas today."

She smiled, "You rest now," she said kissing his forehead.

"You gonna nap with me?" he asked.

"I'll come in and check on ya, I'm gonna get some stuff done around the house, that ok?"

"Mmmhmm…"

"You sleep well…"

He yawned and closed his eyes, letting the warm soup and the warmth in his heart that always seemed to abound when Sydney was near, take him off into the realm of sleep.

Sydney started a load of laundry and cleaned up the kitchen from lunch, loading everything into the dishwasher.

She was about to check on her laundry, when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello Sydney," Amélie said cheerfully, "How are you?"

"I'm good…yourself?"

"Good…is Michael available? I wanted to ask him how the session went…"

"Actually, he's taking a nap Amélie…"

"I have the keenest sense of time, don't I?" Amélie said with a chuckle, "I hope I didn't wake him…"

"No, I'm sure he's fine…and the session went very well…"

"Oh, that's wonderful…no more…incidents?"

Sydney chuckled, "No, he said he was very comfortable with her…"

"That's wonderful, I'm so glad to hear that…"

"Yeah, me too…he seems really…happy today…"

"Oh Sydney, I'm so glad I called, I've been worrying about him endlessly."

"He's doing great," Sydney informed her.

She could hear the smile in Amélie's voice, "Thank you Sydney."

"For what?"

"Helping my son…"

Sydney smiled, "Well, he does a lot on his own, most times, I just sit there…"

"Sometimes that's all you need…and he needs you to be the one sitting…"

"Thank you Amélie."

"It very true dear…well I won't keep you…you tell Michael I called, and that I'm happy he's doing so well…"

"I will pass that on to him."

"If he has time, he can call his mother…"

Sydney chuckled, "I'll pass that along too."

"And of course, tell him that I love him."

"Will do."

"Ok, you take care now."

"You too Amélie."

"Goodbye Sydney."

"Bye Amélie." Sydney put the phone down and smiled while leaning against the counter. There was no way you couldn't like Amélie. She walked back to the bedroom and looked in on Vaughn. Thankfully, the phone hadn't woken him; he was laying peacefully, the calm of sleep resting on his features.

Sydney smiled and walked out again, passing Donovan on her way, "Come on boy…you can help me get the clothes."

Donovan hurriedly trotted along, following Sydney down to the basement. She took the clothes out of the washer and threw them in the dryer, "Come on Donovan…"

He got up and trotted with her again, up the stairs and back to the kitchen. She unloaded the dishwasher and turned towards the refrigerator, a chart catching her eye.

She walked over and smiled at her chart from…God, it had to be almost a month ago…it listed everything she needed to know and do. She smirked; the chart was more of a guideline…it was more practical to just go with the flow. She grabbed the paper down from the magnet and took it over to the counter. She read from the chart, and grabbed the phone, "Oh shit!"

"Dr. To–"

"Hi."

He chuckled, "Hi Sydney…you sound cheerier than normal…what's up?"

"Weeellll…Vaughn's doing much better…and I was looking at this chart from long ago…"

"Yes."

"One of the ones you first gave me…says here…Vaughn can get the splints off this week…"

"You asking me for a date Ms. Bristow?" Tom quipped, "Cause…ya know…I have a fiancée now…you shoulda snagged me while you had the chance…now…she's got me…"

"YES…I know…and we are gonna talk about that…and you have to come over with your wonderful fiancée for dinner sometime too…"

Tom chuckled, "Yes ma'am…"

"Good boy…so about these splints…"

"I guess I should make a house call…"

"I guess you should…"

"What day would work best for you? Cause with Kaia…my days…my nights…um…yeah, all the time – pretty full…"

"Um…Today?…Today would be a good day for that…You think you have time to squeeze us into your very busy sexual schedule?"

Tom laughed, "I think I might be able to break away…I'm not sure…she rarely lets me out of the bed…"

"She's been taking lessons from me of course, you realize this Tom…"

"Well…that explains it!" Tom said with a giggle.

"Of course…girls talk Thomas…"

"Well, if she won't let me out, I'll just drag her along…"

"That sounds good Tom, when can you be here?"

"I'll consult with my keeper…actually, hang on…"

Sydney hear muffled noises and then, "KAIA?!" She pulled the phone away from her ear. She could hear them talking, "I gotta make a house call…that ok?"

"Sure baby…"

"You wanna come with…"

"If you want me to…"

"Well I always want you baby…"

"Aww…I know…and you always keep me very happy…that tongue of–"

Sydney cleared her throat, "I can hear you…"

"Oh!" Tom said, "I'm sorry…really…um…yeah…shit…"

"Tom?"

"Mmm…today's fine!" he said, his voice escalating on the last word, "What's the rush?"

Sydney giggled, "You getting kinda…warm there Tom?" She could tell he was covering the phone, "Um…Vaughn and I kinda…took a shower…and I didn't remember about the splints – I didn't even realize now until I was looking at the chart…I'm sure they got wet…"

"Mmm…k…yeah…lil while…just a lil while…he'll be…hoooooo…h'ok…for a bit…"

"Ok, we'll see you in a little while then…"

"Sssyd…I gotta go…"

"Yeah, I know…I get it…how long is a little while?"

"Time…time…KAIA!" There were more muffled noises, "45 minutes!" he said and hung up the phone.

Sydney started to giggle uncontrollably, it made her feel much better to know that she and Vaughn weren't the only couple that was notoriously lustful.


	157. “Stress Balls”

**Chapter 157: "Stress Balls" **

_"Never a lip is curved with pain that can't be kissed into smiles again." – Bret Harte _

"The trick is not how much pain you feel – but how much joy you feel. Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses." – Erica Jong

"Life is a series of moments, to live each one is to succeed." – Cortia Kent

"If you have a job without aggravations, you don't have a job." – Malcolm Forbes

"The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it but he becomes by it." – John Ruskin

**

* * *

**

Sydney stood for a minute, laughing and then went to get the laundry from the dryer. She brought it up and peeked in on Vaughn. She noticed he'd shifted slightly, but he still looked like he was sleeping. She put the laundry basket on the floor and moved into the room a little more.

She smiled, watching him for a few minutes, and he started to stir. She stayed where she was, watching as he woke gradually from his somnolence.

He yawned and stretched slightly, but stopped short in what she could only guess was pain. She sat down on the bed, and he looked over at her when he felt the bed depress with her weight.

"You ok?" she asked softly.

"Yeah…"

"Good nap?"

"Mmmhmm…woulda been better with you here…"

She smiled, "I know…"

"What did you do while I napped?"

"Mmm…really exciting stuff…I did laundry…and dishes…then I talked to your mother, who says you should be the paradigm of a good son and call her…and she loves you."

"What did she call for?"

"Just to check up on you."

"Ah…"

"Then I called Tom."

"Why?" Vaughn asked, confused.

"Weeellll…I was looking at the refrigerator and one of my old charts caught my eye. Chart says you can get the splits off this week…so I called to see, because on top of that…I realized – we took a shower with your splints on…I'm sure they got sufficiently moist…Tom will be making a house call, most likely with his fiancée in tow and they'll be here in about a half hour."

"I never even thought about it…"

"Me neither…I think we both had other things on our minds…"

"Cool…" he held up his right hand, "It'll be nice to have them off…although I can't do anything with this hand really…"

"No…but it's another step Vaughn…"

"I know."

He took a deep breath, "It'll be better when I don't have the sling anymore…"

Sydney smiled, "Oh yes it will…"

He smirked, "You should get ready then."

"I'll be prepared Boyscout, don't you worry…"

He chuckled, "Tom's coming over with Kaia then…"

Sydney snorted, "Yeah, as soon as they're both done…coming…"

He gave her a strange look.

"It seems we aren't the only couple who spend copious amounts of time occupied sexually…"

Vaughn grinned, "Well…I bet they haven't broken a chair…"

"You are SO proud of that aren't you?"

"Oh, yes, I consider that one of our greatest accomplishments, something to tell the grandkids about…put on a resume. 'Once broke lawn chair whilst having sex…which led to grass sex.' I think it'll go nicely with 'CIA senior officer.'"

Sydney giggled uncontrollably, "Yeah, it has a nice ring to it – you could put it under 'qualifications: can easily break lawn chairs while having sex.'"

He smirked before an 'ACHOO!' escaped him. He sniffled and smiled at her.

She smirked back at him, "Tom might ask about your cold…"

"Well…we'll just tell him why I have one then…"

"Mmmhmm…you gonna brag?"

"Probably…"

Sydney smiled, "Let's just not be too graphic…"

He smiled slyly, "Ok…" he paused and then asked, "Why can't we just take these off ourselves?"

"Well, I think for one, it's to check to make sure you should have them off. And two, he's gonna need to like…I don't know – manipulate them, I suppose, help you get them working again. And three, I don't know how to take off splints…so…there."

Vaughn smiled, "You'd figure it out," he said with a wink.

"Well, it's too late anyway – if they're done having sex, than they're on their way…"

No sooner did the words leave Sydney's mouth then the doorbell rang. She smiled at Vaughn and went to the door.

The couple that greeted her was humorous in their appearance. Tom was wearing a 'cat that ate the canary' grin, and sporting a rather large hickey on his neck as he leaned on the doorframe. Kaia looked the vision of bliss, she had made an effort to make her hair look slightly less disheveled, but it didn't exactly work.

Sydney just giggled, "Come on in."

Tom smirked and moved in the house, Kaia following closely behind.

"Well…did you two have a nice time? That was quicker than I thought."

Kaia smiled appreciatively, "He has a knack for being wonderful and quick when we need to be."

Sydney chuckled and started to walk to the bedroom.

Tom and Kaia entered behind her, and Tom moved straight to the bed, "Hey Mikey!" he said cheerfully.

Vaughn smiled widely and grabbed the hand that he extended in a buddy handshake.

Tom leaned down to give him a gentle hug, squeezing his shoulder, "You look better."

"Thanks, I feel better too…"

Sydney sat down on the bed next to Vaughn and Kaia stepped into place next to Tom.

"Hi," Vaughn said smiling at Kaia, "I'm Michael…" he said.

She smiled back, "I know."

"Well, I figured, last time we didn't really 'meet,' so I thought I'd be formal."

"Well, I'm Kaia then…" she replied.

"So…you guys had some fun before you…" Vaughn cleared his throat, "came over…"

Tom chuckled, "Yeah…that's right…and shut up – cause I'm sure you did too."

"Well," Vaughn said, turning his head, "Perhaps…"

Tom smiled, and then swung into 'doctor mode.' "So how have you been feeling…really."

Vaughn looked over at him, "Better…really…I've been feeling better. I mean – we took a shower this morning…that was great. I haven't taken a shower in like a month."

Tom smiled, "That's great Mike…and hence why we're here – the splints got wet…"

'ACHOO!' "Yeah, I didn't even think of it…"

"Me neither," Sydney added.

Kaia smiled, "It happens…"

"Bless you," Tom said, "You getting a cold?"

Vaughn smirked, "I think I already have one…"

"You make sure you call if it gets worse…" Tom sat down on the bed, "Well, let's take a look at the splints…"

Vaughn stretched out his right hand to do first, since it only had one splint. Tom gently took his hand and examined the splint first, checking for any signs of damage to the splint. It looked soggy, but intact. He peeled at the tape that covered the splint and held it in place, and took his time removing it. Once the tape was off, he gently prodded at the edge of the splint and skillfully removed the metal and fiberglass casing. The last step was to remove the gauze and cotton layer that covered his finger.

Sydney and Vaughn both watched intently as Tom removed the splint, both fascinated by the technical side of it all. Kaia stood smiling at Tom, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched her love do what he did best…well…second best. She smirked at his determination and his ever-mindful gentleness. He was a wonderful doctor.

Tom carefully peeled the gauze and cotton off of Vaughn's finger and examined the area, scrutinizing and prodding gently before saying anything. Kaia moved closer to look at it as well, loving the way Tom's eyebrows furrowed when he looked at something like this.

"K," Tom started, "Now, you're gonna notice the skin is slightly discolored, that's normal," he said looking up at Sydney and Vaughn. Kaia smiled at his bedside manner; that was why Tom was so good with children.

He continued, "Now…I'm sure these have healed…on the off chance that they haven't…this is gonna hurt like hell when I have you do this…k?"

Vaughn nodded.

"Ok, because you had multiple fractures here, on all the fingers…and because the splint was over the joints, your finger is gonna be really stiff for a while. And it's gonna take awhile before you regain the full range of motion for them. This one will obviously be easier than your left hand, because that one has three broken fingers…"

Vaughn nodded again, Sydney listening intently.

Tom started again, "And…I'm not sure yet the extent of the damage, but to regain the mobility, you're going to have to do exercises…"

"How do I exercise a finger?" Vaughn asked.

Tom smiled, "Well…do you have a stress ball? Those always work well…"

"Um…no…but now that you mention it, maybe I should have had one a long time ago."

Tom laughed, "I've got one in the car…I'll get it later…" He held Vaughn's hand in his own and moved it slightly so that Vaughn could bend the finger, "Ok, it's gonna feel stiff, but I want you to try and bend your finger…if it hurts, like instantly, then stop moving it…"

"That makes a lot of sense Tom," Vaughn said with a smile.

"Well, I have to say that."

"I know," Vaughn said. He gingerly bent the pinky, his face setting into a grimace. Sydney looked between him and Tom and Kaia worriedly, but he didn't cry out in pain.

Sydney finally had to know, "Does it hurt honey?" she asked.

"Mmm…no…" he said, "just…really…stiff is a great word," he said as he finally got the finger to bend completely.

"Good." Tom said, "That was really great Mike…just keep flexing it…you sure there's no pain?" he asked.

Vaughn smiled, "I'd tell you man."

"Just checking…" Tom said with a smile. He looked to Kaia, who smiled sweetly at him, nodding in approval.

He let Vaughn flex the finger for a few minutes, "It getting any better?"

"A little, yeah…"

"You wanna do the other fingers?"

"Yeah, ok."

Tom got up and removed the sling from Vaughn's arm and sat closer to him to take the splints off of his left hand. Vaughn was engrossed in the movement his right pinky could achieve and was mostly oblivious to Tom's removal of the rest of the splints.

Sydney leaned over to look however, interested to see how Tom would get these off, since they were slightly different than the other one.

Tom made sure that Vaughn's shoulder was stable before he started and then slowly peeled the tape like the first splint. Since three fingers on his left hand were broken, and were all in a row, the splints had been taped together to make it easier for Vaughn. He had to remove a copious amount of tape before he even reached the metal and fiberglass of the splints. He patiently separated the splints and started on the first one, taking each one at a time. He took off the casing and then the gauze and cotton. "Ok, try this finger," he instructed.

Vaughn stopped flexing the right hand and concentrated on the next finger. "Damn," he said.

Tom smiled, "Yeah, I'm thinking this hand is gonna need more therapy than the other…"

"Well, that was the point, wasn't it?" he said quietly.

Tom looked at Sydney, not knowing exactly how to respond to that. She just smiled sadly and nodded to keep going. Tom risked a glance to Kaia, who was still observing the whole scene. She smiled at him too, and he moved on to the next finger. He took the casing and wrappings off of the other fingers, "Ok…go ahead."

Vaughn, "Ok…that sucks," he said sharply.

Tom monitored him closely, "Did that hurt?"

"No, but it might as well, I can barely feel it."

Tom said softly, "Time Mike…you gotta be patient."

Vaughn sighed heavily, "Yup," and kept at the flexing.

"I'll go get the stress ball," Tom announced, and kissed Kaia quickly before walking out of the room.

Vaughn looked over at Kaia, "Ya know, I know we don't know each other or anything, but you make Tom really happy…I just wanted to tell you…"

Kaia smiled, "Thank you."

Vaughn smiled, "When's the wedding?"

"We were thinking October…the 24th specifically."

"Wow," Vaughn calculated in his head, "that's…only three months away."

"Yes, it is."

"You can plan a wedding that quickly?" Sydney asked.

Kaia smiled, "Tom and I can…"

Sydney smiled back, "Well you were quick today."

Kaia burst out laughing, "Well, he's not always that quick," she said with a smile.

Tom came bounding back in the room, looking strangely at all the people smiling at him, "Did I miss something?" he asked as he tossed Vaughn the stress ball. "Kings," he said with a wink.

Vaughn smiled, "That's great Tom…really…thanks."

"What did I miss?" he asked uncertainly.

Kaia moved over to hug him from the side. He pulled her closer. "We were just talking about our timeliness."

Tom smiled, "What cause we planned a wedding in less than like a day."

"A day?!" Sydney exclaimed.

"Well…we knew what we wanted…called...and got it," Tom said simply with a smile.

Kaia smiled, "I knew what I wanted the moment I saw him."

Tom smiled bashfully, "Well…yeah…the feeling was mutual."

They chatted about plans and dresses for a few minutes while Vaughn started to make his fingers flex around the ball. Sydney looked over at him a few times, watching him in his determined stare, his brow in deep concentration. She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

He looked over at her, smiling, "What?"

"Nothing…just…you."

"What about me?"

"I swear all you have to do yet is stick your tongue out and have it absently lick the side of your mouth and you'll morph into an eight-year-old."

He smiled, dimples slowly emerging.

"Don't work too hard, I plan on using your new skill later…" she whispered in his ear, making him shiver slightly.

Tom cleared his throat, "I can SEE you, you know…"

"Well, compared to what I HEARD earlier Tom, that was QUITE mild."

Tom smiled, "True…"

"You guys wanna stay for dinner?" Sydney asked.

Tom looked to Kaia, who answered for them, "We'd love to."


	158. The Italian Job

**Chapter 158: The Italian Job **

_"Generate so much loving energy that people want to just come and hang out with you. And when they show up, bill them!" – Stuart Wilde _

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." – Fran Lebowitz

"I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require so much cooking." – Carrie Snow

"It is not impossible to govern Italians. It is merely useless." – Benito Mussolini

**

* * *

**

"She's a goddess in the kitchen – she can whip up like a whole dinner with like bread and water."

Kaia hit Tom on the shoulder, "Stop."

"You can make lasagna!" Tom said happily. He looked to Sydney and Vaughn, "It's sooooo good."

Kaia smiled bashfully.

"Seriously…Kaia – go ahead, Francie can have a night off…I'll call them right now." She grabbed the phone and dialed.

Francie answered, "Hello…"

"Not Francie house of insanity today?"

"Well…yes, but I'm too tired to say it."

Sydney chuckled, "Well then that works out great – Tom and Kaia stopped by and they're gonna stay for dinner, Kaia has been recruited to make a nice Italian meal…"

"Good…that's fine…cause I was gonna make Will go get something."

"That's perfect then, you call Will?"

"Sure, I'll do that."

"Ok, when you gonna get here?"

"Mmm, me, probably half hour, 45 minutes…Will, he'll be there before me I'm sure."

"Ok, I'll see you then."

"K, bye Syd."

"Bye."

Sydney put the phone back, "Ok…we're set…kitchen – I'll show you where everything is."

Sydney got up and Kaia followed her out. Tom stayed in the room with Vaughn.

"So…" Tom started, "Are you really doing better?"

"Yeah, I am…as much as I hated it at the time…the therapy…yeah it helped…"

"Good Mike…I'm really glad to hear that…"

Vaughn snickered, "Sorry we interrupted your afternoon…looks like I wasn't the only one then…"

Tom smiled, "Well…wait – what did you just say?"

Vaughn snorted, "Well, just cause I can't be on top…doesn't mean that Sydney doesn't take really good care of me…and nice hickey…" Vaughn added quickly at the end.

Tom grinned, "Thank you."

"That's not like an outward sign or anything…"

"No…no, I wouldn't do that…"

"Mmmhmm…"

"I'm sure you have your share…"

Vaughn's eyebrows rose, "Well…" he stopped and chuckled.

"What?" Tom asked.

"Dude…we broke a chair."

"You what?" Tom said shockingly.

Vaughn giggled, "Yeah…last night…we broke a lawn chair outside…"

"You BROKE a lawn chair?"

"Yeah…" 'ACHOO'

"Bless you…I take it this is how you got the cold then."

"Yeah…" sniffle "It is."

"Mmm…how did you break a chair?"

"Rocking…"

Tom smirked, "Wow…Kaia and I have never broken a chair yet…we'll have to do that now – it'll be my new goal. When we do, I'll let you know."

Vaughn smiled, "Good."

"Ok…so you can help yourself to whatever you need…just riffle around the cupboards…"

"Ok," Kaia said. "Can you direct me to the pantry perhaps?"

Sydney smiled, "Sure – it's right there."

Kaia walked over and grabbed items from the pantry and set them on the counter.

She smiled as she looked up at her, "How long have you and Michael known each other?" she asked.

Sydney smiled back at her, "Almost two years…"

Kaia smiled, "And you've been dating…"

"About seven months…"

"Tom and I moved…faster…"

Sydney giggled, "Well…Vaughn and I – there were impediments…extenuating circumstances…we met at work…"

"They discourage fraternization?"

"Yeah, but…well – other things too…it was complicated."

"Isn't it always," Kaia said with a grin.

"And you and Tom met at the hospital?"

"Yeah…I transferred from San Diego…my third day was horrid…"

"You're a Peds resident, right?"

"Yeah, bus accident – third day, Tom was great…" she smiled.

Sydney smiled in return, "Tom's a really great guy."

"Yes, he is…you know…he thinks the world of Michael."

Sydney smiled proudly, "I do too…and Michael feels the same way about Tom…he's been like our lifeline…really…he's just…always there when we need him."

"He likes you too…"

Sydney smiled, "Aww…thank you…I love Tom, and I think you and he are just perfect for each other…really…he's really happy."

"Me too."

Sydney smiled and watched as Kaia continued to whip up the meal, effortlessly and seemingly out of nothing but a few simple ingredients.

Kaia put the pan into the oven and set the timer, "Ok…we've got, like 45 minutes until I have to get everything else ready…"

"Everything else?" Sydney asked.

"Bread, salad…the usual…can't have an Italian meal without those…and wine of course…"

Sydney smiled, "Right…well – luckily we have all of that."

Kaia smiled, "You wanna go check on the guys?"

"Absolutely."

Sydney and Kaia went back to the bedroom, the guys were chatting happily.

"Hellllllo," Sydney said as she sat down with Vaughn on the bed. He smiled at her as she leaned over to kiss him. He had the stress ball in his left hand, defiantly trying to get the muscles to work.

Sydney watched him for a moment, a look of pure frustration slowly ebbing at his features.

She leaned on his shoulder and smiled empathetically.

He looked over at her and managed to smile back, but then went back to his exercises. She smiled at his stubbornness, his will to make them work so quickly.

Kaia sat down on Tom's lap in the chair, they both watched Vaughn intently. He finally noticed everyone watching him and stopped momentarily. He smirked, "What…I think I'm gonna need two of these…"

Tom smiled, "I'll get you one for the other hand…but you should slow down man…just take it easy…don't try to make them work all at once…it's gonna take time…intervals. They aren't gonna just miraculously start loosening, you're gonna have to work at it."

"I AM working at it."

"Yeah – TIME and PATIENCE Mike…"

Vaughn sighed, "That's annoying…and my hand is cramping…" he said as he stopped squeezing the stress ball momentarily.

Sydney looked at Tom, "Can I help?"

Tom smiled, "Well…sure…but I'm not sure how…"

"Can't I manipulate his fingers?" she asked.

Tom smiled and then chuckled, "Sorry…yeah…you can do that…"

Sydney looked at Vaughn, "I swear, with this crowd, we never get out of the gutter…"

Vaughn chuckled, "Well…that's not a bad thing."

Sydney smiled, "Why don't you relax for a while – give yourself a break…then I'll help, ok?"

Vaughn nodded and set the stress ball on the bed, "Can we move to the couch?"

"Sure honey," Sydney said.

She moved to the other side of the bed and swung his legs off, then helped him stand. Neither one paid particular attention to the couple that was with them, both concentrating on their task at hand.

Tom watched in awe and amazement, a smile covering his face as the couple moved in absolute synchronicity, proficiently moving Vaughn out to the couch.

She eased him down onto the couch and helped him recline. She sat down with him, pulling him into her lap so he lay across her legs.

Tom and Kaia followed out of the room and took a seat across from them in one of the chairs. Tom was smiling over at them.

"What?" Sydney asked, handing Vaughn the stress ball.

"Nothing…you just…you do that really well together."

"We do everything really well together," Vaughn said.

Sydney smiled down at him and leaned over to kiss him, "That we do."

Vaughn smiled at Sydney's fingers coiled around his and she started to squeeze the ball with him. "That makes this much easier," he said.

She smiled, "Good…" she looked to Tom, "You sure I can help – it won't, like, make his muscles not work as hard or anything…"

"No, as long as they're moving, flexing, they're getting exercise, doesn't matter how. He just needs to retrain them."

Sydney nodded, "We can do that."

Vaughn smiled up at her as she continued to help him squeeze the stress ball with the Kings logo on it.

The door opened as Kaia got up to check the lasagna. Will smiled at her as he closed the door, "Hi…"

"Hi," she said, "I'm Kaia…I'm Tom's fiancée."

"I'm Will…I'm Francie's boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you," Kaia said sweetly, "Sorry, excuse me, I have to check on the lasagna."

"Ok, nice to meet you too," he said throwing his coat over the chair and walking into the living room, "Hey guys."

"Hi Will," Sydney and Vaughn chimed.

Tom nodded, "How's it goin?"

"Good, yourself?"

"Great," Tom said with a smile, "Did you meet Kaia?"

"Yeah, we introduced ourselves, seems really nice…yeah…last time I believe she was…indisposed…in the restroom…with like a mountain of eggrolls on her plate."

"Yes, yes she was…She's great," Tom said getting up, "In fact, I think I'm just gonna go tell her how great she is…" he said with a smirk.

"No sex in the kitchen Tom," Sydney called after him. She could hear him chuckle as he walked to her.

Will sat down in the chair that Tom had vacated, "How you guys doing?" he asked.

Sydney smiled, "Good…Vaughn got the splints off…" she said proudly.

"Aww, that's great!" Will said genuinely, "Is that why you're doing that?" he asked pointing to Sydney and Vaughn's hands that were rhythmically flexing on the stress ball.

"Yep," Sydney said with a smile.

Will smiled in, "So…how was your night Mike?"

Vaughn craned his neck to look at Will, "My night? Was…fine…"

"Mmmhmm, I'll bet…have any…crashes?"

Vaughn smirked, "Oooh…" he turned to look at Will, "Yeah, while you guys were off doing a lame-ass dinner or whatever, yeah, I was getting busy breaking a lawn chair."

Will practically choked, not expecting that from Vaughn, "Jesus…the splints come off and you get all blunt…and…that was just NOT something I needed to hear…"

"Well, you asked…at least I didn't tell you that Sydney rocking on me was the cause."

Will lurched out of the chair, "OH MY GOD! VISUAL!" He covered his eyes and stumbled off out of the living room, in the direction of Francie's bedroom.

Vaughn and Sydney giggled on the couch before Vaughn said, "How much you wanna bet he stays in there until we eat?"

Sydney laughed some more, "That was good."

"Thank you," Vaughn said pulling her down to kiss him.


	159. The Wenglish Penetration

**Chapter 159: The Wenglish Penetration **

_"Vanity, revenge, loneliness, boredom, all apply: lust is one of the least of the reasons for promiscuity." – Mignon McLaughlin _

"Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time." – Unknown

"Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken." – Unknown

"Tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa." – Dorothy Parker

"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute." – Unknown

"If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time." – Louise Sammons

"If it's not a headboard it's just not worth it." – Rachel on Friends, talking about people bumping their heads

**

* * *

**

Francie arrived last, apologizing profusely for her tardiness.

"No, it's ok Fran," Sydney said, "I think you have perfect timing, Kaia's just putting the finishing touches on the dinner."

"Oh good…" she said relieved. She looked around the living room, "Where's Will?"

Vaughn snickered, "I gave him a visual, he's hiding in your room."

"Oh…what did you tell him?" Francie asked intrigued.

"How we broke the chair," Vaughn stated factually.

Sydney and Vaughn started to giggle again and Francie burst out laughing. Tom and Kaia peeked out from the kitchen.

"Hi," Francie said when she noticed them. "Hi Tom, and you must be Kaia," she started to walk towards them, "I think we missed you last time…you were indisposed at the restaurant. You are the goddess who's taken kitchen duty tonight. Thank you, I worship the ground you walk on."

Kaia chuckled, "Well, in my family, you either cook or die…so…I've gotten accustomed to whipping things up rather quickly…really…it's like a capital crime if you can't cook."

Francie smiled, "I'm just gonna go clean up for dinner, check on the state of my poor, visually wounded boyfriend."

Kaia and Tom went back to final meal preparation.

"So," Tom asked, wrapping his arms around Kaia's waist and pressing his lips into her neck as she tossed the greens in the bowl, "Do you like Mike and Syd?"

She smiled as she felt his hands brush her bare skin as her shirt rode up in the front, "Yes, they're sweet and very good together…"

Tom smiled as he brought his chin to rest on her shoulder, "So are we…"

"Yes. We are. I like them. They compliment each other in every way. Well, from what I've seen anyway." She paused, "Wanna have a pool going on how long it takes them to get married too?"

"Mmm…what are the terms?"

Kaia smiled evilly, "I say they get married and move in together within 6 months after we get married. And if I win, you owe me 3 favors. Any 3 favors I want. And dinner and a massage."

Tom was about to answer when Kaia interrupted with, "Ooh, and new handcuffs…Cause the last pair…not sturdy enough."

Tom started to laugh, "Well if you had stopped when I begged you to, then I wouldn't have pulled so hard…"

"I just wanted to hold you…and punish you for that torture…"

Tom chuckled, his breath hot on Kaia's neck, making her shiver, "The feathers?"

"Yes…bastard…"

"What if I win?"

Kaia giggled, "If you win…I will give you any 3 favors you want…And dinner and a massage…and most definitely new handcuffs. You can have Mike get some CIA sanctioned ones when he goes back to work…or I could ask Sydney, we could discuss the best kinds…"

"Mmm…deal…how are we gonna seal this deal?" He thought a moment, "Syd said no sex in the kitchen…she didn't say no sex in the backyard…or garage…or front lawn…there's always the bathroom…"

"Bathroom…and fast…" Kaia breathed, pushing him down the hall. Tom snuck away, down the hall to the bathroom before Kaia announced she was 'getting ready for dinner' and followed him.

They both appeared several minutes later, Kaia's hair put back in place, and both sporting a rather evil pair of grins. "I borrowed your brush," Kaia said with a lip-biting smirk.

Sydney smiled back, but her eyebrows rose at her comment, "That's hopefully the ONLY thing you borrowed in there!"

Vaughn shook his head at the pair, "Dude…" he said with a short laugh.

Kaia looked at Tom with a sly and sated smile and pulled him by the hand back into the kitchen with her as she announced, "Dinner is ready."

Sydney called out, "Just put mine and Vaughn's on one plate…"

"Got it," Kaia called from the kitchen.

"Tom?" Sydney called.

He appeared seconds later, the salad bowl and bread in his hands. He set them down on the coffee table, "Yes?"

"Can you go tell Francie and Will that dinner is ready?"

"Sure," Tom said, walking off down the hall and knocking on the door gently, "Guys, dinner's ready."

"Ok," they both called. Francie followed with, "We'll be right there…"

Tom walked back to the kitchen and helped Kaia load the plates with lasagna and got wine ready as well. He stopped pouring suddenly, Kaia giving him a strange look, and he walked off to the living room.

"As your doctor," he started, looking down at Vaughn, "I'd advise against alcoholic consumption…but if you want a glass of wine, I'll forget that I'm your doctor for the time it takes you to drink it. But just one glass…"

Vaughn smiled at his friend's protectiveness, "You sound like Sydney…"

Sydney looked down at him as well, "Well, we both care about you…" She looked up at Tom, "I let him have one glass once before and he was ok, I think he'll be ok this time too…"

"You want a glass then?" Tom asked him.

"Yes," he said enthusiastically.

"Ok," Tom said walking back with a smile to the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Kaia asked him.

"Just…asking about alcohol…"

"Ah," she said.

"Just had to play doctor for a minute…be concerned about imbibing."

"I like it when you play doctor…you have a wonderful bedside manner…" Kaia said seductively.

"Thanks…I know you like it…"

She turned serious, "I meant that in both capacities baby, you're a really great doctor too…and you're great with Mike."

"Thanks," he said appreciatively. "I'm glad you think so…"

"I do," she said, leaning over and capturing his lips in a sensual and loving kiss.

Francie and Will emerged, giggling and looking happier than they both did when the got to the house. More correctly, Francie looked happier, Will looked…stoned…

Sydney smiled at them, "What's up with you two?"

"Mmm…nothing…" Francie said with a grin.

Will sat down on the chair and pulled Francie down on his lap. She giggled and elbowed him as she was caught completely off guard, "You ass…watch it boy."

Sydney looked over at the couple with a searching look, Vaughn was slightly more aware. He waited until Sydney looked down at him, "Francie made it all better…" he said.

"All better?"

"Our visual…our teasing…"

Sydney looked over at Will, "I'm sorry Duckie, we'll chill on all the teasing…"

Will smiled, an eyebrow rising, "Tease all you want," he said pulling his turtleneck down to reveal a rather large and very fresh hickey, "If that's what I get outta teasing, tease me! Tease me!"

Sydney laughed and her mouth hung slightly agape, "You…" she looked down at Vaughn, "We were the only ones not having sex tonight."

"Well…we did earlier…" Vaughn reminded her.

"Mmm…but that only half-counted. We'll have to make up for that later."

"Fine with me!" Vaughn said happily.

Sydney smiled and moved down to kiss him.

Kaia and Tom brought in the plates and wine, handing it out. Kaia smiled when she handed the one plate to Sydney.

Sydney accepted the plate with a smile and rested it on Vaughn's abdomen, "It ok sitting there?"

"It's fine," he said.

She smiled and got a bite of the lasagna on the fork for him. She watched as he took the bite and then looked up at her adoringly.

"This is really good," he said turning his attention to Kaia.

She smiled bashfully, "Thanks."

Sydney took a bite as well, "Mmm…really…Kaia, wow."

Francie looked over at her, "You hire out? Looking for a job? Cause you can work for me ANYTIME."

Kaia chuckled, "No…I've got enough work as a resident…but if I ever decide to change professions, I'll let you know."

Francie smiled, "Well noted."

Will and Tom both added their compliments, eliciting quite a redness from Kaia.

Halfway through the meal, Sydney said quietly, "You should take your pills," to Vaughn.

He nodded, "Ok."

"I'll get them," she said, starting to gently move him.

"Stay put, I'll get them," Tom said already getting up from his spot on the floor by the coffee table. He smiled as Sydney settled back down with Vaughn.

He came back a minute later with the bottles and a glass of milk.

"Thanks Tom," Sydney said sweetly.

Tom smiled in return and sat back down next to Kaia.

"That was so great Kaia," Sydney said.

Tom beamed, "That's my girl…"

Kaia smiled endearingly at him, "All yours baby."

Tom and Kaia started to gather plates and dinner remnants after a quick kiss.

Francie spoke up, "You guys don't have to clean up, you already made the meal."

"Exactly," Kaia said, "makers clean up."

She smiled as she and Tom headed off with the plates. They reemerged in the living room several minutes later.

"I think her grandma was really pissed I wasn't Italian…cause Barker…yeah…so is NOT Italian…I'm a Wenglish"

"Why? And WHAT?" Sydney asked smirking.

"Like that whole My Big Fat Greek Wedding Thing…" Kaia said with a smile and rolled her eyes, "Wenglish – he's Welsh and English…isn't he cute…"

Sydney giggled.

"Her grandma totally hit me cause I couldn't make – what the hell was it…"

"Manicotti sweetie…"

"Right, I'm like – I can make a cheeseburger…that's when she hit me."

Everyone burst out laughing.

"That was the WORST thing he could have said…a cheeseburger," she shook her head.

"Well, I was only trying to point out that I could, in fact, make something."

"At least you didn't say spaghetti-o's…cause actually, that would have been even worse than a cheeseburger…"

"I almost did," he admitted with a bashful smile.

"Thank GOD you didn't…but they've since come to love him as much as I do…once you've been hit by grandma, you're part of the family."

"They're really great people…"

"They are," Kaia agreed.

"Hey, Mike – you'll never guess who I saw the other day…"

"Who?"

"Bob Buckley…"


	160. College Cronies

K - I have a disclaimer...this chapter contains some...religious humor...and it's actually true - cause it happened to my friend. I in no way, shape, or form am trying to offend anyone, and I really don't think it's like BAD poking (heh) fun at anything, just a few comments. So, don't think I'm like the anti-Christ or anything, and I'm not bashing anyone...so, ok...I think that covers me...

* * *

**Chapter 160: College Cronies **

_"I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy." – Oscar Wilde _

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." – Groucho Marx

"As a man can drink water from any side of a full tank, so the skilled theologian can wrest from any scripture that which will serve his purpose." – Bhagavad-Gita

"There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait for them to self-destruct. It never fails." – Richard Rybolt

"Laughter is brightest, in the place where the food is." – Irish proverb

**

* * *

**

"NO WAY!" Vaughn exclaimed.

"Yes way…Bob Buckley…I ran the other way, but it was him."

Vaughn laughed, "You ran?"

"You bet your ass I ran! I don't carry a gun like you…I ran!"

"He look the same?"

"Crazy as ever."

"Aww man…that guy was a complete psycho…"

"Who is this?" Sydney finally asked to everyone's delight.

Vaughn and Tom instantly burst into laughter. By the time they were stopping, Vaughn had launched into a coughing fit.

"Are you ok?" Sydney asked concerned as he tried to calm down.

He nodded, "I…" HEE "Tom…" COUGH "You tell…" Vaughn said shaking the cough off.

Tom giggled, "He was my roommate, freshmen year in college, first semester. Bob Buckley…aww man…" he looked to Vaughn, "What did he say…when he introduced himself…" Tom thought a moment.

Both he and Vaughn pointed to each other as they exclaimed, "Robert F. Buckley! The 'F' stands for Francis!"

They broke out into a fit of laughter again.

They started again, "And I'm from Babylon, Texas. I'm a paper science major…" they laughed, "And an organic chemistry minor!"

"God what a psycho…" Tom said.

"Don't use 'God' and 'Bob' in the same sentence," Vaughn said.

"Oh man! That's right!"

"Jesus in the dust!" They both exclaimed and dissolved into giggles. Everyone else was compelled to giggle along, the image of these two men giggling contagious.

"What?!" Syd asked.

Once they could breathe again, Tom started, "He seemed so normal when I met him. The first few days were ok. He was a little odd, a little eccentric…but…'bout day four, yeah, he started getting really weird. That was the first day he wrote 'Jesus' in the dust on top of our TV…and left it there. It's kinda strange to happen upon that…so I'm like 'Bob, what's up with Jesus in the dust?' and he's like 'Are you going to join me at Bible study?' I'm like 'Bob, I don't go to Bible study.' That's when he launched into the 'accept Jesus as your personal lord and savior speech,' which I would hear almost daily. And I shoulda known – BABYLON, Texas…but yeah, I tried to be nice, be all, 'I believe in God, but not into Bible study…"

Vaughn was coughing again as he tried to regain his composure thinking about times past.

Tom giggled and shook his head, "I moved in with Mike after that first semester…"

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "Did you have a single room?"

"No, my roommate transferred to a different school. Tom was in my history class…you remember that guy? I never wrote so many notes in my life…he was so short! So much information."

"Aww yeah…the whole chalkboard – spanned the whole length of the classroom," Tom said making the appropriate gesture, "the whole thing, just covered with words."

"I got a B…and we studied SO hard."

"Yeah, well I got like a C- so shut up. God, I hated that class. If it weren't for you though, I probably woulda flunked."

Vaughn smiled.

"You helped Tom?" Sydney asked.

"Yeah, he couldn't study in that class for shit!"

Tom laughed, " I really couldn't…it was pathetic."

"Is that where you guys met?" Kaia asked.

Tom smiled, "Yes it is. I sat next to him one day and we got paired together inadvertently for a project, started talking…the rest is history."

"What did Buckley do that time in his environmental class – lodge some protest?"

"Oh man, yeah…to save the beavers cause the prof. was discriminating against them or some shit."

"Beavers?" Will asked.

"Yeah, beavers…they made these dams that like made the river STOP flowing…so the DNR went out there and destroyed the dams. Buckley lodged this protest because the beavers had rights and no legal representation."

"Oh my God!" Francie and Will exclaimed.

"Yeah, he was an idiot…then…" Tom giggled, "Remember when I came to class that one day convinced Buckley was a Russian spy?"

Vaughn chuckled, "You're like 'Dude! He's a spy!'" Vaughn giggled, "Seriously, he was so delusional…"

"Why did you think he was a spy?" Sydney asked.

"He had this laptop, and he would type away all the time. When I came in the room, he'd like jump and yell and close it really fast. Then he would ask if I saw anything and like drill me on it…he'd be on it all night, talking to himself, sending all these encrypted messages…"

"Creepy," Francie said.

"Yeah, he'd like lock it in the drawer when he wasn't using it. He'd tell me, 'Don't touch it! I'm taking the key! Stay out!' It was so funny…"

"He had a new story like every class," Vaughn said.

"Really…he was just bizarre…"

"Man, what a psycho – seriously – we had Nate analyze him that one day – Nate said he was like completely psychotic."

"It's a good thing I moved in with you, cause he probably coulda killed me…ya know – If I touched the laptop…erased Jesus…ya know."

Vaughn was giggling again, the laugher completely infectious. Soon, the whole room was in a laughing fit.

"Mike was a much more agreeable roomie…"

"Thank you," Vaughn said smiling at Tom.

"We had a blast."

"No Jesus in the dust from me…"

"Thank you!"

"No problem."

"Good times Mikey."

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah, they were."

Sydney smiled down at him, "You're not going to go into details of your college drinking and sex career are you?"

"No honey, I'll spare you."

"We weren't that bad…" Tom said in their defense.

Vaughn smiled devilishly at Tom, "Nope."

Tom returned the smile. He looked to Kaia; "I suppose we should probably get going…I've got an early shift tomorrow…"

"Me too," Kaia said nodding.

"This was a lot of fun guys. Kaia, really…thank you so much for dinner," Sydney said.

"It was my pleasure."

Francie piped up, "Now that I know you are such an accomplished culinary artist, you'll have to stop by more often…I'm thinking Tuesdays and Thursdays work well for me."

Kaia chuckled, "I'll see if I can work that in…"

Tom and Kaia got up, Francie and Will did likewise to see them out. Tom went over and gave Vaughn a short hug, "We'll see ya Mike, call as always."

Sydney and Vaughn both smiled, "Thanks Tom."

Tom and Kaia said their goodbyes and left the house hand in hand.

"They're really nice," Francie said after they sat down again.

"They really are," Will agreed.

Sydney and Vaughn smiled.

They chatted for a few minutes about day occurrences until Sydney said to Vaughn, "You know, you're got therapy tomorrow mister, we should be getting to bed."

"Mmm…yeah, ok."

Sydney smiled and helped him sit up on the couch before helping him stand.

"You guys need any help?" Will asked as he and Francie stood up as well.

"Nah, I think we're good…Vaughn and I have been doing really well…"

"That's great," Francie said.

Will nodded, "Really, it's easy to tell…"

Vaughn smiled and Sydney beamed proudly, her dimples shone brightly, "I'm so proud of him."


	161. Everything

Ok, this chapter, I wrote like the first paragraph or two and the last one...the rest is my resident CLOSET WHORE KERRIE...who I've de-closeted... She wrote the rest of this incredible smut.

* * *

**Chapter 161: Everything**

_"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well." – Virginia Woolf _

"As long as rivers shall run down to the sea, or shadows touch the mountain slopes, or stars graze in the vault of heaven, so long shall your honor, your name, your praises endure." – Publius Vergilius Maro

"Find me here  
Speak to me  
I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That is leading me to the place where I find peace again  
You are the strength that keeps me walking  
You are the hope that keeps me trusting  
You are the life to my soul  
You are my purpose  
You are everything  
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you  
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this  
You calm the storms  
You give me rest  
You hold me in your hands  
You won't let me fall  
You steal my heart and you take my breath away  
Would you take me in  
Would you take me deeper now  
'cause you're all I want  
You are all I need  
You are everything, everything" – "Everything" – Lifehouse

"Here I am  
Broken wings  
Quiet thoughts  
Unspoken dreams  
Here I am  
Alone again  
And I need her now  
To hold my hand  
She's all, she's all I ever had  
She's the air I breathe  
She's all, she's all I ever had  
It's the way she makes me feel  
It's the only thing that's real  
It's the way she understands  
She's my lover, she's my friend  
And when I look into her eyes  
It's the way I feel inside  
Like the man I want to be  
She's all I'll ever need  
So much time  
So much pain(but)  
There's one thing  
That still remains (it's the)  
The way she cared  
The love we shared  
And through it all  
She's always been there  
She's all, she's all I ever had  
In a world so cold, so empty  
She's all, she's all I ever had  
It's the way she makes me feel  
It's the only thing that's real  
It's the way she understands  
She's my lover, she's my friend  
And when I look into her eyes  
It's the way I feel inside  
Like the man I want to be  
She's all I'll ever need" – "She's All I Ever Had" – Ricky Martin

* * *

Sydney helped Vaughn to the bathroom and brushed his teeth before helping him back to the bedroom to get ready for bed. She started to remove his clothes, taking his shirt off first. She stopped after it was off and walked over the door, locking it. She turned around and leaned against the door. He sat on the bed, watching her as she started to saunter over to him. She smiled alluringly as she moved to the bed, spreading his legs and standing between them. She reached out her hands and framed his face, tilting it upwards and capturing his lips in a slow and sensual kiss.

He brought his right hand around to hold onto her back, splaying his fingers out across the material of her shirt. He moved his hand underneath her shirt, desperate to touch her skin-to-skin.

He rubbed his finger up and down the column of her spine, tracing patters as he reintroduced his newly freed finger to feeling. She shivered as she felt his finger trace lightly up and down her spine, every hair on her body standing at attention as he made her shudder in titillation.

She deepened the kiss, running her tongue over his teeth, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth.

"Mmm…" he moaned as her kisses and touches began to have an effect on him. Her hands moved through his hair, rubbing over his back and chest on their way to giving him as much pleasurable sensation as possible.

She cupped the back of his neck with her hand and gently reclined him back, his head hitting the bed soundlessly. The only sounds that filled the room were their wet kisses and the barely audible rustling sound of loose clothing.

As he grazed her bra strap, he began to fumble with the clasp, struggling to open it with his uncooperative fingers. Just as Sydney was about to reach back and help him with the offending material, they were both surprised by the definitive "snap" of the clasp. Grins spread across their faces as they could barely control their excitement at his new achievement. This only served to fuel their passion as Sydney grabbed his face and kissed him fiercely, as if both their lives depended on it.

They broke apart only to come up for air, Sydney taking advantage of the opportunity to rip her shirt over her head. Vaughn reached his right hand up to slide her bra straps down her arms, then removed the garment altogether. He just stared at her for a few seconds, drinking in the expression on her face – her flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and the look in her eyes, so full of love and passion for HIM. It took his breath away. The thought that this could have all been taken away from him – the love and support of this incredibly beautiful and amazing woman – gave him a new resolve to do whatever it took to overcome this difficult chapter in his life.

Sydney noticed him staring at her; she could tell he was thinking about something. "Michael, what is it?" she asked.

Hearing her voice, Vaughn was brought back to the present, and vowing to never waste another moment with his angel reached up to pull her to him. He kissed her fully but softly on her mouth, and whispered, "Later. Right now all I want is to get lost in you."

Sydney nodded and smiled, their kiss deepened, as they lay close together, chest-to-chest, hearts pounding together. Sydney ran her left hand through Vaughn's hair, stopping to play with the fringe along the top of his neck. He reached his right hand up to fully enclose her left breast for the first time in what felt like forever. They both moaned at the sensation. Syd stared into his eyes, and with no words passing between them she knew what he needed to do. Sitting up slightly to maintain as much contact as possible, she gently reached for his left arm and guided his hand to her other breast, using her hand to mold his around her. Vaughn's eyes closed almost instantaneously as he drowned in the feeling of being able to touch her again in this intimate way. Sydney began gently squeezing his hand around her, as Vaughn matched her rhythm with his right, and soon she was starting to grind against him as tingling sensations started traveling through her body straight to her core.

Sydney continued to grind against Vaughn as his arousal became very obvious, his erection straining against the material of his sweatpants. He moved his right hand down to the waistband of Sydney's jeans. He struggled to open the button, but quickly grew frustrated with the task, "Syd, these need to go – NOW. Please, before I hurt myself trying to take them off," his voice very deep and his breathing erratic.

Sydney just flashed him a full-dimpled smile and slid back off of him long enough to remove her jeans, deciding to rid him of his sweatpants and boxers while she was at it. As she pulled his pants down his legs, his cock sprang into view. She loved the effect she had on him, his penis standing tall before her.

Sydney crawled back up the bed towards him like an animal stalking its prey, coming to a stop when she reached his right side. She was completely nude now, except for the simple white cotton hi-cut panties she had deliberately left on.

"I could use a little help with these," she almost purred.

Vaughn moaned, letting his right hand creep up the inside of her thigh to the junction between her legs. He could feel just how incredibly wet she was through the thin material of her panties, and the thought of burying himself inside her made his cock jump in anticipation. He slid his hand up further, to the top of her panties and slowly began pushing them down, a few inches at a time, switching from one hip to the other. His breath hitched at the sight of her curls, and finally her panties reached her knees, where Sydney reached down to finish removing them.

Before Sydney could move away, Vaughn once again slid his hand up her thigh until he reached his desired destination. He began to gently rub her clit, first back and forth, then in small circles, eliciting a series of moans from Sydney. He let his fingers travel a little further back and without warning plunged his index and middle finger deep inside her. Sydney nearly collapsed on top of him, grabbing the headboard for support. She knew she wouldn't last too much longer if she let him continue at his current pace, and she wanted them to come together.

She reached down to remove his hand from her, and threw her right leg over his abdomen. She straddled Vaughn, leaning down to kiss him deeply. Her tongue entered his mouth, where it began intertwining with his, a slow dance that gained speed until reaching an almost feverish pitch.

Breaking away gasping for air, Sydney looked into Vaughn's eyes. They were deep green and sparkling; reflecting the desire she knew must be evident in her own.

Vaughn breathlessly whispered, "Syd, I need to be inside you – right now."

She needed no further encouragement, positioning herself over his very hard, very ready cock. In one swift movement Sydney impaled herself upon him, the sensation proving almost too much for both of them.

Staring wide-eyed at each other, they sat motionless for a few moments as Vaughn tried to regain some semblance of control and Sydney adjusted to having him fully inside her.

"Jesus, Syd. You feel SO good."

"God, Michael, so do you. Do you feel how you fill me up? Such a perfect fit, like you were made just for me."

Sydney leaned down over him, pressing her hardened nipples against his chest and kissed him gently. As they began moving slowly together she would pull almost all the way off of him, until he felt his head at her opening when she would plunge back down – hard.

"Oh yeah baby – you are SO good!" Vaughn almost hissed.

Sydney leaned up to give him a quick smile, and he thrust into her as hard as he could, causing her to moan deeply, "Oh Michael!"

Vaughn, very encouraged by her response, began to thrust against her, their chest-to-breast position allowing him to rub against her clit with each thrust. He started to roll her left nipple in between the fingers of his right hand, further intensifying the sensations running through her body.

"Oh God – Michael! HARDER...Oh...GOD! Baby, you feel SO good inside me."

With that, Vaughn felt himself grow even harder – something he thought impossible. She felt so damn good, her muscles gently squeezing him with each thrust. Her hands were splayed out on the mattress on either side of his head, giving her leverage as she slammed back against him, meeting him thrust for thrust.

"That's it, baby," he said. "Harder – take me deeper inside you."

Sydney moaned and started rocking against him even harder. He turned his head to the right where he could kiss the inside of her wrist.

"Ah, Syd," he moaned loudly. "So good...faster baby. I need to come…deep inside you…"

He continued his attack on her wrist, nibbling and licking along the vein that ran up the inside of it. Syd could finally take no more and wave after wave of sensation began to hit her, and she practically screamed his name. Then, a little softer, almost mumbling incoherently, "Michael, I love you."

Those four little words sent him tumbling over the edge, fulfilling his desire to come deep inside her as she continued to clench around him. She collapsed against his chest, utterly spent. Hearts pounding, breathing heavy as they came down from their high. Sydney leaned up to gently kiss him, this time tenderly and full of love. He reached up to brush a few strands of hair out of her face, looked into her sparkling eyes, and said, "I love you, too, Sydney."

She smiled and nestled back into his chest, their bodies sticky and warm, their breathing slowly revisiting normalcy. Sydney pulled the covers over them, the cotton sheets cool on their slick skin and they slept, a dreamless and tranquil, satisfied sleep.


	162. Afterglow

**Chapter 162: Afterglow **

_"Become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid." – Lady Bird Johnson _

"Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it." – Mark Twain

"Complain to one who can help you." – Yugoslav Proverb

"As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it." – Mahatma Gandhi

"Put duties aside at least an hour before bed and perform soothing, quiet activities that will help you relax." – Dianne Hales

"You can't help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself." – H. Norman Schwarzkopf

**

* * *

**

Vaughn woke before Sydney did Wednesday morning, their tryst from last night still evident in the room, the air, the light, the smell, the feel of Sydney's naked body intertwined with his; everything was as it should be.

He watched her sleep, her features twitching in a completely adorable manner. He realized it'd been a long time since he'd heard her talk in her sleep. He wondered if maybe she was too exhausted for talking or perhaps he just slept through it. He'd relished that day he lay across from her in the sick bay. Their cots so close, the space between them only a matter of mere feet, yet, at that time, an ocean was still in front of them. It spanned wide, keeping them apart. He smiled as he recalled her peaceful, sleeping face, her hands folded underneath her head. She had looked so innocent, so pure…so angelic. She'd asked him if he slept, and he told her he had, but that was a lie, he hadn't closed his eyes once. He was afraid that if he did, she wouldn't be there when he opened them again, and he'd never get to see her like that again.

He smiled while thinking back; he'd loved her so much even then…

He felt her stir in his arms, her head nuzzling his chin.

She groaned sleepily and he pressed his lips into her hair, "Morning…"

She turned her head and kissed his chin before moving up, her body moving with her, to kiss his mouth. His scratchy morning stubble grazed across her cheek, the sandpaper feel sending synapses firing. The stubble used to bother her; she remembered getting a rash when they'd first started. Now, it seemed her face had become accustomed to and even enjoyed the rough texture of his scruffy cheeks. She hadn't had a rash in months, and that made her extremely happy, because the sight of his facial shadow was just about the damn sexiest thing she could think of.

"Morning," she hummed back.

He smiled at her, his hand coming to rest in her hair, running his fingers through the strands. "It's nice to be able to feel you…"

She smiled and grabbed his hand, kissing each finger in turn, gently peppering his pinky with more kisses than the rest received, "I know…what were you thinking about last night?" she asked.

"You…I was just thinking about what I almost lost…and that I'm not going to waste one minute I have with you…ever again…I want to move past this…"

Sydney smiled proudly at him, tears in her eyes. She tried to find something to say, but words fell short. She settled instead for running her hands over his stubbly cheeks and kissing him gently, both of their eyes falling shut at the sensation of losing themselves in each other.

Sydney snuggled back into his embrace, their warm cocoon in the bed too tempting to venture out of at the moment. Neither complained when they spent most of the morning just that way, holding each other in bed, soft whispers and phrases, soft words filling the room already filled to capacity with the love they shared.

The sound of her man's stomach growling pulled Sydney out of their relaxing, surreal space.

The necessity of food would have to take precedence over cuddling for the moment.

Sydney giggled, "You hungry?" she asked.

"Mmm…yeah, but not hungry enough to make you get out of this bed to do anything about it."

"Aww…really honey, I'd love to stay here all day, and we will…we'll do that soon, but…" she looked at him sadly, sorry she had to be the one to bring him back to the reality of the day, "You have therapy today…and we have to eat and exercise…I'm sorry baby."

He smiled, "It's ok…"

"I'll go see what we have to eat, alright?"

"Yeah, ok…" he said, watching her go, grabbing her robe on her way out the door.

She chuckled when she finally saw the clock in the kitchen; it was after noon already. She looked through the cupboards, and then the refrigerator before returning to the bedroom door.

"You just want leftovers from last night?"

"Sure," Vaughn said in agreement.

Sydney nodded and went back to the kitchen, throwing the leftovers in the microwave and grabbing things for them to drink. She brought it all back and sat the tray on Vaughn's lap. She got out all the pills he needed to take and then started to alternate giving each of them bites of food. She grabbed the stress ball off of the nightstand and handed it to him.

"You can do this while we eat," she said.

He smiled and looked over at her as he started to squeeze the ball in his right hand. "This is gonna be like part of the routine now, right?"

She nodded, "Yep."

He nodded back to her, and switched to the other hand. His left, both could tell, was going to give him trouble. He sighed while Sydney gave him more bites, trying to force the unforgiving muscles back into the state they had once occupied.

Sydney watched him while he determinedly and found herself smiling at him.

He turned to look at her, "What?"

"Nothing…I just…I love you, I love everything you do…everything about you…"

He smiled, his face softening immediately. He said softly, his gaze settling on her eyes, "The feeling is quite mutual."

She cupped his cheek, her hand scraping across his stubble again. She ran her hand down his whole face before sweetly placing her lips over his and reminding him of all the reasons he loved her all over again in panoramic color.

When they parted, foreheads resting against each other, they were smiling and breathless. Sydney moved back slightly, "Honey…we should really get dressed…finish your exercises…really, Barnett's gonna be here in just a little while."

He kissed her once more and pulled back, nodding, "K."

She moved off the bed and took the tray out to the kitchen, then came back and started to dress herself. She moved back to Vaughn then, dressing him in comfy blue boxers, sweatpants and his favorite hockey shirt.

He smiled when he looked down to see the Kings logo proudly displayed across his chest.

Sydney nodded approvingly, "Ok, all set…now let's do some exercises," she told him.

He nodded and they did crunches first, and then were about to start breathing exercises when Sydney chuckled.

"What?" he asked.

"We should have just left the shirt off…we have to do breathing exercises and I have to check the bandages."

He smiled, "We can put it back on…"

She nodded and took off the shirt again and completed the breathing exercises with him before starting on the bandages.

The long bruise that covered part of his back was starting to heal already, and that made Sydney feel much better, if not somewhat vindicated for their lawn-chair-breakage.

She peeled the bandage off of his infected wound and inspected it, "Looks better baby," she said.

He smiled and turned to look at her, "Well…love does that."

She replaced the bandages and then wrapped her arms around him from behind, her chest gently pressing into his back. "Love can do a lot…"

"Yes, yes it can."

She moved to face him and replaced the shirt, then handed him the stress ball again.

He accepted it and worked on the right hand, the finger already regaining some of its dexterity.

She smiled as she watched him, happy that at least that hand seemed to be progressing well.

He got frustrated fairly quickly with the other hand. The fingers would just not work the way he wanted them too. He sighed in resignation, "Damn fingers…"

Sydney was moved with compassion for him and sat down on the bed. She coiled her fingers around his and started to squeeze the ball again.

"Thanks," he said quietly.

She smiled up at him knowingly, "You're welcome."

He watched as she aided him with so much care and tenderness. She always knew when he needed her; when he needed help, he scarcely had to ask, "You know," he said as he thought, "I know a way I could exercise both hands at once…"

Sydney looked up at him, "What's that? Get another ball?"

"No…we practiced last night…" he said.

She crunched her face in confusion, "You mean like when we did this last night?"

"No…later…"

She searched his face.

"When you helped me touch you…" he said slowly.

Realization hit her and she smiled at him slyly, "Ah…I see…you want me to help manipulate your fingers by letting you grope me…feel me up – is that it?"

"Well…you said once you'd do anything to help me get better…just think of all the exercise I could get…"

"We'll see Vaughn…we'll see…" She moved to sit with him more on the bed and handed him the remote.

He smiled at her and turned the TV on, "You care what I turn on?"

"Nope, whatever you want honey."

He flipped to ESPN and settled into the bed while he watched the plays and scores flash across the screen.

"Aww…Mets lost!" he said sadly.

Sydney chuckled, "Sorry…try to flex your fingers now…" she instructed.

She let go of his hand and he let go of the ball and tried to move his fingers in the same way Sydney had done seconds ago. He managed to mimic the action but it didn't last very long, and soon his fingers were rather stiff again.

He sighed and Sydney took his hand again, "Does it feel better when I do this?" she asked.

"Yeah, it does…"

"Ok, I'll keep doing it then…"

He smiled and watched for a few minutes as she tried diligently to help him.

"You can stop Sydney," he said finally, "I don't think they're gonna loosen today."

She smiled sheepishly, "Well…no, but I want them to feel better for you…"

He tilted her chin towards him, "Thank you."

She kissed him sweetly, "You're welcome."

The doorbell rang and Sydney got up to answer the door, leaving Vaughn the stress ball.


	163. The Telling

These next several chapters contain graphic images of Vaughn's torture. If you don't wish to read about those topics, I would suggest not reading these next chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 163: The Telling**

_"A retentive memory may be a good thing, but the ability to forget is the true token of greatness." – Elbert Hubbard _

"In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these." – Paul Harvey

"We cannot change anything unless we accept it." – Carl Jung

"You learn more from ten days of agony than from ten years of content." – Sally Jessie Raphael

"The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting." – Milan Kundera

* * *

Sydney opened the door, "Hi Dr. Barnett."

"Hello Sydney, how are you today?"

"I'm good…you?" She asked as she moved out of the doorway and closed the door again.

"Good…"

"Bedroom…" Sydney said as she started to walk there.

Barnett followed with a nod and Sydney kissed Vaughn quickly before she smiled at Barnett and walked out, closing the door.

Barnett took a seat in the chair next to the bed, "Hello Michael. How're you feeling today?"

"I'm good…how are you?"

Barnett smiled, that was the first time he asked her, "I'm doing well…"

Vaughn returned the smile and nodded. His left hand was still wrapped around the stress ball, trying to get the fingers to cooperate with him.

Barnett smiled, "Are you trying to alleviate stress?" she asked with a wink.

Vaughn chuckled, "Well, it probably would have come in handy, but no…I got the splints off…so I'm supposed to exercise them."

"That's wonderful…making progress…"

Vaughn nodded, "It would seem so…"

"Did you do your homework?"

"Yes, I did," Vaughn said smirking.

"Excellent. What'd you name your special place?"

Vaughn looked up at her, "The Pier."

"The Pier? Interesting…any specific reason?"

"Well…it's one of the first places Sydney and I met…when she needed me…and well, it's kind of our place – a special place in real life…" he paused, "and it was either that or something to do with grasshopper – and I couldn't say that without laughing.

Barnett laughed, "The Pier…I like it. At the end of today's session, I'll let you visit The Pier again. Then you should be able to get there on your own, or with Sydney's help…"

"Sydney can help?"

"Of course…We'll talk about that more at the end, alright?"

"Ok."

"Will you tell me your story today?" Barnett asked.

"What do you mean my story?"

"I mean, everything that happened to you."

"You mean when I was taken," Vaughn said looking down at the stress ball in his hand.

Barnett noticed too, "Yes."

"Well…where do I start?" he asked.

"Just start in any way that feels natural. Most people say to start at the beginning, because it's easier to remember, but you can start anywhere you'd like…middle…end…wherever you feel most comfortable."

Vaughn sat a moment, trying to decide where he wanted to start. He finally sighed and just started at the beginning, "Well…that morning started out normal. I got up, got ready for work. Sydney and I left in separate cars; I went to get coffee. Sydney didn't want any…but I stopped for myself and got coffee…" he paused, then continued, "Why did I get coffee that day? Why didn't I just go in to work with Sydney? Why didn't she come with me? Actually, it's good she didn't because then she would have been taken too…" he had a momentary flash of what they could have done to her but continued, "I headed back to the car and was ambushed on my way back. They knocked me out and I woke up in a cargo truck."

He stopped and looked at Barnett. She was jotting something on her notepad and nodded at him to continue.

"I tried to escape when I woke up…tried to overpower a guard, but it didn't go as I planned it. After that they kept a really close eye on me. They took me to a compound and then my cell…it was gray…all gray cement…and cold. I remember Sloane coming to see me that first day…and his men…and I think Sark and Derevko were there, but I had a really bad headache, I think I passed out…"

He took a minute and looked over at Barnett again, so smiled her encouragement to keep going. He realized that he was going to be doing all the talking here.

"I guess the first week…it wasn't so bad…or not as bad as it got later…

**Flashback**  
"Mr. Vaughn…"

Vaughn heard a soft voice calling his name…sounded…British…

"Mr. Vaughn…" it said again.

He groaned as his head reeled as he tried to open his eyes. The throbbing in his head took precedence over anything anyone might be saying. But he knew that voice…

"Mr. Sloane would like to see you now…" Sark said as he grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to his feet. Vaughn stood unsteadily but shook Sark's arm off of him.

"Get off me," he growled.

Sark surveyed the man in front of him. So…this is the man that Sydney would kill Sloane for…he smiled cockily, "We're going to be seeing a lot of each other Mr. Vaughn. I'm going to enjoy the time immensely…this way please," he motioned for Vaughn to step out of the cell.

Vaughn complied, the light in the room burning his eyes. He squinted as he walked the path that Sark had motioned for him to follow. He looked around, looking for any possible escape routes, but there weren't any he could see yet.

Sark told him to turn a corner, and he tried to take mental notes of the path they were following.

He led Vaughn to a large, open room. It looked like an empty warehouse. There was a solitary table, metal, sitting in the middle of the room. There was one vacant chair across from the man he knew had taken him. Arvin Sloane sat on the other end, smiling at him as he walked towards the table.

Sark pushed him to sit in the chair and Sloane offered him a smarmy smile, "Please, sit down Mr. Vaughn."

Vaughn sat, but it wasn't like he had much choice. Not only was Sark mere feet away, but he counted a total of 13 other men in the room, all standing in a circle around the table. He had no way to escape, he could see that already.

Sloane smiled maliciously at him, "Let's cut right to the chase Mr. Vaughn…I didn't bring you here to chat…it's not like you have vital information that I need…my wife is dead, and I simply don't care anymore…while Sydney didn't pull the trigger, I hold her responsible for putting Emily in the line of fire. By extension, you have the unfortunate circumstance of being in my line of fire…because Sydney cares about you."

Vaughn stared at him wordlessly.

"You have nothing to say?" Sloane asked him.

"What would you like me to say?" Vaughn asked, "Am I supposed to beg you to let me go? Cause that's not gonna happen."

"Oh so strong a resolve…we'll see how long that holds up…we'll see how long it takes you to crack…I'm sure once Sydney is here, with you, then you'll have much to say."

That got Vaughn's attention, "You already have me…what's the point of getting Sydney…"

"Well, I think it would be altogether too much fun to have both of you here together…it's a pity she didn't get coffee with you this morning…" Sloane said shaking his head.

"Leave her alone Sloane…"

"You have no chips to bargain with Mr. Vaughn…I have you…and Sydney isn't far behind you…my men are out there right now…it's only a matter of time until she joins you…"

Vaughn launched himself off the chair at Sloane but his circle of goons moved in immediately, and he never got within any range of actually attacking Sloane.

"You son of a bitch! You leave her alone!"

Vaughn's shouts were cut off as one of the thugs caught him with a punch to the stomach. He doubled over in pain, but was brought up again by a few more thugs. Two held his arms and Thug #1 started an onslaught of punches to his ribs and abdomen. They let him drop after a few minutes; his body hit the floor heavily.

Sloane stood over him and pulled out his cell phone. He smiled as he dialed, and almost giddy expression on his face. He waited until the person answered.

"Hello?

"Hello Sydney." He said in a jovial tone. He took the phone away from his ear as he heard Sydney yell, "SLOANE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH VAUGHN!?!?!?!?!"

He chuckled, "Now, now, Sydney. Is that anyway to greet me? I mean, what makes you think that I have Mr. Vaughn?"

"You have him you bastard. Why? Why Vaughn? Why not just come after me?"

"Well, that's not nearly as much fun, Sydney," he said looking down at Vaughn.

Sydney's tone changed, "Look, I'm sorry about Emily. I loved her too, but it was an accident and it wasn't my fault and it wasn't Vaughn's fault either!"

"Sydney, that's so nice of you to say. I'm sure Emily would be pleased, but you see, I have nothing else to lose now. Emily is gone. I would have given it all up for her…but now, it just doesn't matter anymore…I know what loss feels like Sydney, as do you. I just want you to feel it one more time, because Danny's death was quick, Mr. Vaughn's will not be." Sloane waited for a response, but was pleased that he didn't get one, "Sydney, are you still there?" He said in a mocking tone.

"Yes, I'm here."

"Good."

"What do you want Sloane?" Sydney asked.

"Hmm…that's such a complicated question. What I really want is Emily back, but since I know that's not possible, I seek to make you suffer."

"Emily wouldn't want that…"

"Well, probably not, she loved you like a daughter. But that is of no consequence anymore, you see, Emily is gone, and she no longer has any wants."

"Sloane, name your price. What can I do to get Vaughn back?"

Sloane debated for a moment, and smiled; he knew making her wait would only worry her more.

"Sloane?" she asked desperately.

"Yes, I'm still here. I'm just thinking what I could possibly want that would warrant this man's life. Trouble is, I can't think of anything at the moment," Sloane replied coldly. He motioned for the guards to get Vaughn up. He groaned but managed to get to his feet.

"Sloane! Is that Vaughn?!?! Don't hurt him, please; I'll do whatever you want. Whatever the cost!!!" Sydney pleaded.

Sloane laughed, "Sydney, I've already told you, there is nothing you have that I want. Do you want to speak to him one last time? I'll grant you that. I suppose I owe you that."

Sydney fought the tears and said shakily, "Yes…"

Sloane brought the phone to Vaughn's ear as the guards held onto him. He stared at Sloane with hate for this, but he desperately wanted to hear Sydney's voice. "Sydney?"

"VAUGHN!!! Are you all right? What did he do to you? Can you tell me where you are?"

"I'm ok, don't worry. I'm sorry Syd."

"Oh God, Vaughn, no, don't be sorry."

"Sydney…….." he paused as Sloane grinned at him sinfully.

"Vaughn? Are you still there?"

"Sydney…I love you."

"Vaughn, I love you too. I'm coming to get you, do you hear me? I'm going to find you, ok? Just hang on!"

Vaughn struggled against the guards, trying to get to Sloane. He was rewarded with a new set of punches.

"VAUGHN! VAUGHN!" Sydney screamed as she heard the punches being thrown and the man she loved groan in agony.

"That was really quite moving Sydney, I must say, even I was touched." Sloane said ridiculing her.

"You bastard, if you hurt him, I swear I–"

"Please, Sydney, your threats are completely useless, and as far as the injuries go, he all ready has quite a few."

He let the last part of his sentence sink in before he continued. "It's been nice chatting with you again, I must say, I've missed hearing your voice…until we meet again." He hung up with a smile.

"Put him back in his cell," Sloane said dryly with a motion of his hand.

Two goons picked him up off the floor and dragged him back to the cell, dropping him on the hard cement floor. The door shut, and he was bathed in darkness. He took a minute to catch his breath, his ribs and abdomen a sea of pain. He sat up slowly, coughing and moved over to sit against the wall.

He closed his eyes, praying that Sloane wouldn't get Sydney; that he wouldn't find her…  
**End Flashback**

"That phone call…I hated Sloane for it…but it was the last time I talked to Sydney in weeks…and I was glad I got to tell her that I loved her…just in case…" Vaughn took a deep breath, "That was the first day…but with an introduction like that…I knew what I was in for…well not really…but…it only got worse from there…"


	164. Always the Blade

These next several chapters contain graphic images of Vaughn's torture. If you don't with to read about those topics, I would suggest not reading these next chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 164: Always the Blade**

_"Life is one long struggle in the dark." – Lucretius _

"You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." – Eric Hoffer

"One fire burns out another's burning; One pain is lessen'd by another's anguish." – Shakespeare

"Nothing begins, and nothing ends, That is not paid with moan; For we are born in other's pain, And perish in our own." – Francis Thompson

"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt." – Thomas Merton

* * *

"That phone call…I hated Sloane for it…but it was the last time I talked to Sydney in weeks…and I was glad I got to tell her that I loved her…just in case…" Vaughn took a deep breath, "That was the first day…but with an introduction like that…I knew what I was in for…well not really…but…it only got worse from there…"

**Flashback**  
"Mr. Vaughn…"

Vaughn stirred, 'Great,' he thought…this is how the mornings are gonna go…stupid English Beatle-boy was gonna wake him up.

He sat up slowly, his head reeling once again, his abdomen tightening as he straightened. Sark sat a plate and a glass down in front of him.

"You should eat something…" he said.

Vaughn grabbed the glass of water and started to drink it slowly, but he didn't touch the bread on the plate.

He looked up at the young British man, but he didn't say anything.

A smile slowly spread across Sark's face as he watched him drink the water, "The bread isn't poisoned if that's what you're thinking…"

"No, that's not Sloane's style…unless it's his wife."

Sark chuckled, "I wouldn't say that to Mr. Sloane…unless you enjoyed getting punched yesterday."

Vaughn didn't respond.

"It's too bad really…" Sark started, "But this really won't be as much fun without Sydney here…"

Vaughn looked up at him.

"You see…I would have rather enjoyed both of you together…it must just kill you to know that I got there first…"

Vaughn's eyes narrowed, "Sydney wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole."

Sark smiled, "She has such soft skin…I miss working with her…she's very…talented…"

"Fuck you."

"Oh…now, just because I got to her first…there's no reason to be angry with me…"

Vaughn laughed, "You're pretty funny."

"I assure you what Sydney and I did together was not funny…" He smiled and did a little bow, turned, and walked out of the room, closing the thick metal door loudly behind him.

Vaughn let his head rest on the wall as he finished the water. He looked down at the bread and decided that if he was going to make it back to Sydney, he'd need to eat to keep his strength up. He shook his head as he thought about Sark's comments.

He thought it strange that no one came to bother him the rest of the day. He couldn't really tell what time it was, but he could sense when the night came on, it got colder in the cell.

He thought about Sydney…she'd be looking for him, worried, he could see her face if he closed his eyes…hell, he could see her even if he didn't. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he was brought out of a nice, pleasant dream about said woman with a jolt to his foot.

Thug #1 had brought him a plate and a glass, again, bread and water. He figured it must have been morning, and this was going to be the ritual. It was slightly altered today however, because Sark didn't wake him. Thug #1 waited momentarily and then walked out the door.

Vaughn ate and waited; this was beginning to be a pattern as well. 'All part of the waiting game,' he thought with a smirk.

This morning however, they didn't make him wait long. Thug #1 reappeared and hauled him to his feet roughly.

"Mr. Sloane wants to see you…" he said gruffly.

Vaughn said nothing, but acquiesced and walked the same path that he had that first day. Sloane was sitting at the table again, smiling wickedly.

"Hello Mr. Vaughn…"

Vaughn again said nothing, and took the seat he had occupied earlier.

"Well," Sloane started, his hands folding under his chin, "So…how are you enjoying your stay so far? Are the accommodations adequate?" Sloane said vilely.

Vaughn glared at him, and then smiled.

That threw Sloane off, "Something amusing Mr. Vaughn?"

"The room's nice…little drab for my taste, all that gray…bed's a little bit firmer than I'm used to…but yeah, I'd say it's adequate." Vaughn paused a moment, his forehead crinkling, "I wonder, since you've been so hospitable to me…did you treat Emily that nicely?"

The venom in Sloane's voice, the coldness in his eyes was startling, "You just made this so much easier for me…" he said calmly.

That didn't stop Vaughn from continuing though. He knew what was most likely going to occur, but he wasn't about to take all of this sitting down without a fight. "Just think about it…Emily came to US…she came to the CIA…she turned you in…why is that? I think it's because she'd put up with so much of your shit through the years, she finally had to get away from you…" he paused, "She died because of you…"

Sloane leaned over on the table closer to Vaughn, "You should remember who has the power in this situation Mr. Vaughn…it would be wise for you to hold your tongue…"

"Like Emily did? At least I'd have the guts to kill someone I loved face-to-face instead of slipping something in a glass of wine like you did, you cowar–"

Sloane backhanded Vaughn across the face with a loud, resounding crack. The sound reverberated off the walls, echoing down the empty halls.

Vaughn looked back at Sloane, his cheek stinging. Sloane stood up, straightening his suit and tie and taking a deep breath.

He placed his hands back on the table and sneered at Vaughn, "At least I knew my wife loved me…she was leaving with me…the CIA put a stop to that…my wife was loyal and faithful…can you say the same for Sydney?"

Sloane let those words sink in before he added, "Everyone has their breaking point Mr. Vaughn. Let's see how long it takes to reach yours…"

With that, Sloane nodded to his goons. They moved in again, closing the circle, closing the open space to Vaughn. Two grabbed him from the chair, knocking it over in the process, the sound once again resounding off the cement walls. Vaughn struggled to get free of the arms that were holding him, but even if he were able to get away, where would he go? There wasn't anywhere to run…but he wasn't going to simply let them beat the shit out of him without a fight.

However futile it might be, he refused to stop squirming, making it at least more difficult for them to land solid punches. It was a blur of movement the he couldn't keep up with; there were just too many…punches came at him from all sides, hitting his stomach, his ribs, his chest, his face…he lost track of where and how many. He just knew that when they stopped, his chest was heaving, his head hurt like hell, and he could taste blood in his mouth.

Sloane watched the whole scene unfold with an eager and disgusting delight. He smiled as he watched the man he knew Sydney loved get beaten by his men. It was very vindicating for him. He couldn't help but smile as the punches flew at him, such a wonderful way to get back at Sydney…and eye for an eye…he smiled malevolently as he watched what looked like a particularly nasty punch to the ribs. Vaughn doubled over despite the men holding him, and even Sloane cringed as he saw blood spray from Vaughn's mouth with the impact of that punch. He couldn't be sure, but he would have guessed a rib had broken with that one.

He stood idly regarding the whole beating, only telling them to stop when he could tell Vaughn was close to passing out.

"Take him back to the cell…" Sloane said.

A few of the thugs hauled Vaughn's limp form back to the cell and dropped him on the floor. His body hit it with a loud and painful thud. He groaned with the impact but found the cool surface of the floor to be oddly soothing. It contrasted sharply with the warmth that was spreading across his chest and abdomen. His head was throbbing, the blood pumping loudly in his ears. He tried to sit up gingerly, but stopped that a second after he started. It hurt far too much to accomplish that at the moment. He spit out the blood in his mouth and managed to roll over on his back. He closed his eyes, trying to will the pain away by thinking about Sydney. He was fairly successful, but eventually he gave into the pain and passed out.  
**End Flashback**

He paused, thinking, "The next few days were sort of the same I guess…kinda routine…they'd bring in the bread and water…I'd eat it…they'd come back…we'd have more beatings…it never really went beyond that the first week. I just remember a lot of fists and punches, mostly just holding me while they had their fun. I spent a lot of time in the cell…had lots of time to think…I thought a lot about Sydney…about what she was doing…if she'd find me…how she'd find me…" He paused again, "It started to resemble something more like torture with the second week…"

**Flashback**  
Vaughn woke to the familiar feel of a boot kicking him to wake him. However, this morning's wake-up call was slightly different, in that the boot connected with his side instead of his foot.

He lurched away from the boot, coughing and gasping for air.

The plate landed on the floor by his head, and the glass was placed somewhat more gently, "You've got 10 minutes," Thug #1 said to him.

He forced himself to sit up, his body racked with pain. He leaned against the wall and ate, knowing he had to no matter how much his stomach didn't want to eat. All he could do was wait after he was finished, knowing the inevitable would arrive. It did several minutes later.

Thug #1 and his buddy hauled him to his feet and walked him out to the same table and chair. Vaughn had tried to number all of the thugs at one point, but he only saw each one for small amounts of time; it seemed Thug #1 was on food detail, so he could recognize him more easily.

Sloane hadn't arrived yet this morning, usually he was already seated when they brought Vaughn in. He'd be sitting in the chair like he'd been waiting all morning to witness Vaughn's daily beating. He looked around at the goons, wondering how they got themselves into this detail…

Sloane sauntered with Sark in tow. Both had rather satisfied grins on their faces. Vaughn acknowledged their presence but he didn't even look over at them. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

"I've decided to turn over a new leaf today Mr. Vaughn," Sloane announced, "We're going to step up the fun a little bit today…start a new phase…" he smiled ruthlessly. "We'll see how well you hold up…"

Vaughn said nothing, but a fear was rising in him. He had no clue what this 'new phase' was, but he could guess it wouldn't be pleasant.

Two goons picked him up roughly off the chair and walked him to a new part of the warehouse, one he had never seen before. He was still surrounded by concrete walls, but this room was different, it was better…furnished…than the other room. It had two tables, one with binding straps and one without. Against one wall were shackles…Vaughn swallowed hard; this was not going to good at all…

He surveyed the rest of the room. There was a chair with bindings, and a chair that had moving wheels that resembled a normal office chair. There was also a cart, a cart on wheels that looked like it came from a doctor's or dentist office. He could see a tray on top of the cart, covered by a black cloth. He didn't want to know what was under that cloth, but he could bet he'd find out eventually.

Oddly enough, Vaughn noticed a fireplace in the far corner of the room. He thought it an odd place to have a fireplace, it wasn't a homey room…but he was pulled out of his thoughts by Sloane's voice again.

Sloane smiled maniacally as he told Vaughn all about the room, "We'll be spending a lot of time in this room from now on Mr. Vaughn…lots of time…" he walked around the room, trailing his hand over the metal surface of the table with the bindings. "I think you'll grow accustomed very quickly…"

He turned to Sark, "Go ahead Mr. Sark," Sloane said.

Sark moved forward and motioned for the guards to bring Vaughn closer to the fire. He stood in front of the fireplace and then bent down and grabbed a box of matches from the ledge. He lit the match and started the fire. He stood up again and watched as the flames rose in the fireplace.

He turned to Vaughn, "Fire is a fascinating medium. It has so many uses…warmth, it invokes a sense of home, of love…or it can be angry…violent…harmful…" he turned to watch the fire again, "I've always loved watching a roaring fire…it's like a bottle of emotions…subtle…sophisticated…yet unpredictable…"

He nodded to the goons who placed binds on Vaughn's wrists. They attached them to cables that hung down from the wall near the fire. He'd missed those, he thought to himself as they strung him up so he was hanging from the ceiling. They made sure he was anchored and then pulled on the cables so that his feet were barely touching the ground.

He grunted in pain as his chest and abdomen were stretched; already bruised and now being made to conform to absurd postures and positions. Since he was in pain before they actually started, he knew this was not going to go well.

Sark produced a jack knife from nowhere and walked slowly to Vaughn with it. There was nowhere for him to go and he wouldn't give Sark the satisfaction of shrinking away in fear, so he held his ground, as much as his position would allow.

Sark looked in his eyes, and the men shared recognition. Sark was pleased that he didn't beg or move away, but held his ground. Michael Vaughn had guts, he had courage…and Sark could tell he had fortitude as well. He would need that…

The blade of the knife reflected off the dim lights in the room. The reflection danced in Sark's eyes before he slowly reached out his hand and started to pluck the buttons off of Vaughn's blue dress shirt. The tie and holster had been discarded long ago, the suit jacket left in Vaughn's car. The buttons hit the floor, amplified like dropping bombs, countering the silence that permeated the room. The fire was the only other noise as it crackled softly. Once the buttons were gone, Sark opened the shirt and was greeted by Vaughn's undershirt. He brought the knife to Vaughn's neck, but he refused to flinch, and then slowly took the material of the shirt in his hand and sliced through it. He did the same as he walked to the back of Vaughn, slicing the two shirts so that by the end, only four pieces of cloth were hanging from Vaughn's form. Now, Sark had complete access to any part of Vaughn's torso.

He smiled and moved back in front of Vaughn. He looked over the bruises that already covered the man's body. They were ugly purple and black blotches, dotting a large portion of his abdomen. Sark looked to Sloane in permission and Sloane nodded, watching in diabolical delight.

Sark walked back to the fire and placed the knife on what looked like a special ledge for just such a project. He left it there and instead picked up a fire poker. He moved the crackling wood around, prodding into the flames before turning around with the poker in his hand. Vaughn could see the end was red, blazing hot. Sark's gaze drifted from the end of the implement to Vaughn's eyes. Even though he could see the fear reflecting in Vaughn's eyes, he didn't say anything. Vaughn just watched as Sark moved ever closer.

When the poker was within a few inches of his body, Vaughn could feel the heat radiating from it. It hadn't made any contact with him at all, but he could already sense the temperature. Sark turned the poker so that the side and not the sharp end, would brush against Vaughn's flank. Sloane's eyes grew wider and wider as Sark inched closer to Vaughn's flesh.

Vaughn's eyes clenched closed as Sark made first contact with his skin. He didn't cry out at first, just bit down hard on his lip, but that pursuit was futile, the heat and the extreme discomfort was too much and a cry of pain ripped from his chest as Sark pressed the side into his skin.

Vaughn's flesh was still reeling in agony after Sark pulled the poker away. He looked over at Sloane who nodded and Sark placed the poker back on the side of the fireplace and reclaimed his knife. Vaughn's eyes were still clenched tightly but they burst open when he felt the edge of blade on his skin.

Sark ran the blade on his chest, a tiny trail of fire in its wake, and then he slowly put more pressure on the blade, making it slice into Vaughn's body. Vaughn let out a howl as the pain shot through him again, his side still burning from the first injury.

Sark stopped, and watched in fascination as the heat from the blade made the wounds almost immediately cauterize. Things weren't so interesting to Vaughn and he tried unsuccessfully to get leverage to knock Sark over, but it was no use, the binds were securely fastened and Sark could move away too quickly.

Sark looked to Sloane, "Mr. Sloane…did you…"

Sloane nodded and pulled a cigar out of his breast pocket. He extracted a lighter from another pocket and spent a few minutes seemingly enjoying his cigar. He approached Vaughn, "Do you smoke Mr. Vaughn?"

Vaughn spit in his face.

Sloane laughed, "Was that a no?" He looked at the cigar, "Pity…I'm not a big smoker myself…but I do occasionally enjoy a good cigar…" He blew a cloud of smoke in Vaughn's face. "You know boy…I can't wait until we have Sydney here with you…I can just see it now…we have two tables you know…two sets of shackles…you could experience it together…"

Sark piped up, "Although as I recall, she rather enjoyed that…at least with me she did…"

Sloane smiled at Sark, "Yes, she's quite a woman…" He spent another minute enjoying his cigar before he walked behind Vaughn, "You know…I look at you…and I see you as three things…First, I see the man that Sydney loves…then I see your father, because you look a lot like him…" he paused, his voice becoming more strained, more angry as he stood behind Vaughn, "Then…then I see you as the man who allowed my wife to get caught in the crossfire…" he pressed the end of the cigar into Vaughn's back.

Vaughn lurched forward, taken somewhat by surprise, but perhaps more by the sensation and the pain it caused. Sloane turned the cigar, making Vaughn's back erupt with agony. Nerve endings all over his body cried out as Sloane moved the cigar to another spot before slowly smoking it again for a few minutes. When Vaughn had calmed down, he did it again, burning him three more times in three different spots.

By that fifth burn, Vaughn was slumped against the restraints, his arms and shoulders burning as they supported the full, almost dead weight of his body. His chin was resting on his chest, his hazy mind close to unconsciousness.

"Put him in the cell…" Sloane said as he puffed away on the cigar again.

Two of Sloane's men unbuckled the restraints and Vaughn's limp form fell into their arms. They dragged him back to the cell, the tattered shreds of his shirts barely clinging to his body, and doing nothing for warmth. They dropped him on the floor carelessly, walked out and closed the door. Before he slipped into darkness, he thought about Sydney…the only thing that was going to keep him alive for this…  
**End Flashback**

"Sloane liked the cigars…that was one of the only things he'd participate in…but…he liked those…I suppose that's why I have so many scars from that…"

He took a long breath, his brow furrowing, "He added more…everyday…like built it up…"


	165. SNAP

These next several chapters contain graphic images of Vaughn's torture. If you don't with to read about those topics, I would suggest not reading these next chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 165: SNAP**

_"Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself." – James Froude _

"Torment, for some men, is a need, an appetite, and an accomplishment." – E. M. Cioran

"Man torturing man is a fiend beyond description. You turn a corner in the dark and there he is. You congeal into a bundle of inanimate fear. You become the very soul of anesthesia. But there is no escaping him. It is your turn now..." – Henry Miller

"Power is not a means, it is an end. One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; one makes the revolution in order to establish the dictatorship. The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power." – George Orwell

* * *

"Sloane liked the cigars…that was one of the only things he'd participate in…but…he liked those…I suppose that's why I have so many scars from that…"  
He took a long breath, his brow furrowing, "He added more…everyday…like built it up…"

**Flashback**  
Vaughn was kicked in the stomach for his wake up call. The bread and water on the floor already; the same thug bringing it in and repeating the '10 minute' message from the day before.

Vaughn knew he'd passed out, but he couldn't remember actual sleep. He was tired and in an enormous amount of pain.

The goon came back like clockwork with his fellow thug and they walked Vaughn to the room from the day before. He was mildly surprised he could walk on his own power, but he was happy he could do so.

Sloane sat in the desk chair, Sark standing by the fireplace again, a fire blazing already.

"Good Morning Mr. Vaughn…" Sloane said happily, "Ready for another round today?"

"Fuck you," Vaughn said distinctly.

Sloane smiled menacingly, "You'll lose that attitude eventually boy…you'll beg…you will…only a matter of time…"

Vaughn stared him down, "Fuck you," he said calmly.

Sloane shook his head, "You make this so easy Mr. Vaughn…" He nodded to the goons who sat him in the chair with the straps. They removed the shards of his shirt and strapped him down, his wrists and ankles secured tightly to the chair frame. One last strap held his chest to the chair.

Sloane smiled, "Nikolai is going to take over from here for a bit…he has many talents…"

Thug #whatever, because Vaughn couldn't keep them straight anymore, approached him and took the seat that Sloane had vacated. He wheeled himself closer to Vaughn and grinned.

Sloane voiced over, "Nikolai was trained by the KGB and Russian army…his mentor was a man named Gordei Volkov. He was trained not only to withstand the most extreme of torture, but to administer it as well…and he's very good at what he does.

"You're really scaring me here…" Vaughn said cockily.

Nikolai smiled, "What would you like me to do Mr. Sloane?"

Sloane looked at Vaughn, "Are you right handed or left handed?"

Vaughn debated for a moment, whether he wanted to tell the truth or not. He decided he could do this one of two ways. He could lie, and say he was right handed and they might believe him and damage his right hand. Or, they might think he was lying and decide to damage the left. If he told the truth, they might still not believe him…

"Mr. Vaughn?" Sloane asked again.

"Left," Vaughn decided.

Sloane looked off into the darkness in the far corner of the room, "Well? Is he telling the truth?"

A voice Vaughn knew all too well said, "Yes, he is."

Sloane nodded, "Good…Nikolai…break his finger…you can pick…right hand first…"

Nikolai seemed filled with glee, "My pleasure," he said, holding Vaughn's right hand still and grasping the pinky in the correct manner. He took one look at Vaughn's face and jerked the finger back at an impossible angle. Vaughn pulled against the restraints that kept him locked to the chair as a scream echoed through the room.

Nikolai looked to Sloane as Vaughn slowly regained some semblance of composure.

"Should I break another?" he asked excitedly.

"Yes, but move to the left hand…"

Nikolai did as instructed, breaking the pinky of the left hand as well. Vaughn yelped in agony again as the bones in his fingers splintered and shattered under Nikolai's disgusting 'talent.'

"Excellent form," the voice from the corner said as the person slowly merged into the light, features slowly becoming more distinct.

Vaughn looked up at Sydney's mother in agony, his body reeling and racked with pain as the straps bit against his sensitive and bruised skin and muscles.

Vaughn would have laughed if the pain weren't so bad. He managed a snort, "Figures…" He shook his head until it made him rather dizzy.

Irina smiled as she looked down at him, "Well what did you expect Mr. Vaughn?"

"Well, I can say I expected better, but truly, I'm not surprised," Vaughn said in reply.

Nikolai didn't seem to like Vaughn's response, so he pulled on the left pinky that he had just broken.

Vaughn yelped in surprised pain and waited for the throbbing in his finger to stop.

He didn't have to wait long, the throbbing lessened, but then he got a whole new sensation to add; Nikolai pulled on the other finger. This time, more sickening snaps came from Vaughn's finger.

Sloane smiled, getting a deranged sense of enjoyment out of the sound of Vaughn's bones breaking under Nikolai's scrutiny. "Nikolai?" he said.

Nikolai turned to look at him, "Yes Mr. Sloane?"

"What other tricks do you know?"

"I know many Mr. Sloane…"

"Well…I trust your judgment, why don't you demonstrate some other form of punishment…"

Nikolai's mouth twisted into a threatening and sinister grin, "I would be happy to Mr. Sloane." He reached into his jacket pocket and brought out a small black case. He set it on the table and opened it slowly, his eyes widening in happiness and awe at the contents.

Vaughn watched as he removed a straight razor from the case and a few other implements that also held razor blades. They looked like they could have been old box cutters, but his attention was more drawn to the straight razor that Nikolai held in his hand. He opened it with precision and a psychotic kind of wonder; like this was the first time he'd ever opened one.

Nikolai looked over at Vaughn, their eyes met, and Nikolai smiled cruelly as he looked back at the blade of the razor. "These are very old…in case you haven't noticed that…this particular razor dates back to 1905. It belonged to a barber in Chicago…My father killed him…and he took the razor. It's sort of a family heirloom…it's very dull now of course, but that's the point…" he said looking back at Vaughn again.

He moved the razor very slowly towards Vaughn's chest. Time seemed to slow and the pain that erupted when Nikolai pressed the end in was excruciating.

Vaughn let out a howl as Nikolai brutally slid the dull razor across his chest. He pressed harder into Vaughn's skin, blood slowly oozing out of the open wound. He stopped and moved to Vaughn's arm, sliding the edge along his bicep before turning the blade down and pressing it in his arm.

It was like someone was taking a jagged piece of cardboard and trying to slice his skin. He could feel the blade as it slowly and inefficiently cut through various layers. It kept an erratic staccato beat as Nikolai kept the blade dragging across various parts of his body, leaving rough and notched wounds in its wake.

Sloane loved the chorus of screams that were emanating from the man in the chair; he couldn't contain his glee at the whole scene. He smiled over at Sark, who watched the scene with a rather impassive stare. He seemed bored.

Irina did a good job of masking her emotions on the subject, but inside, she felt like vomiting. The man that her daughter loved was being tortured in front of her eyes, the will of this sadistic man that had played them all coming to a sick culmination. She was powerless to stop it however, no matter how much she wanted Vaughn's suffering to end. If she wanted to help him, she'd have to keep silent. She prayed that the fate of the father would not fall to the son in this case.

Finally, it seemed Sloane had enough fun for one day, and with a demented giggle, he ordered Nikolai to stop. "I think that's enough for one day…we don't want it over too soon…I like the build-up."

He motioned for the goons to take Vaughn back to the cell.

He smiled sweetly at Irina, "Would you like to have dinner?"

She returned the smile, "Of course…" he looked over at Vaughn, "It was nice to see you again…I'm sure we'll have time to chat later."

They turned and walked out of the room. Sark watched the goons drag Vaughn out and then turned back to he fireplace. This line of work is getting old…he thought as he stared at the flames.  
**End Flashback**

Vaughn took a deep breath, "I wasn't surprised to see Derevko there…I knew then what she did to my father…and I thought it was sort of ironic that she would play a part in my torture too…I wondered if they did the same thing to my dad…I had lots of time to think…so yeah, I wondered that…what really floored me was her lack of emotion. I mean I didn't give a shit what she thought of me, if she cared at all or not, but I would have thought that any mother would have some sort of shred of decency…I'm not saying she should have like taken a stand and busted me out, but I mean…if she loved Sydney at all…I just…yeah…"

He paused, "After that torture, I blacked out…I really don't know how long…the next time I woke up, I wasn't in the cell…I was back in the other room…and I was on the table…restrained."

**Flashback**  
Vaughn jerked awake, his body reacting to an incandescent light blazing down on him. He tried to move his hand to shield his eyes, but his wrists here bound tightly. He looked to the side and could see he was on the restraint table. The metal was warm on his skin, so he must have been lying there for some time. He realized that he was only wearing his boxers though, his pants now discarded somewhere along the way.

"Ah! He's awake!" a gruff, German-accented voice said.

"Excellent!" Sloane said happily, "Let's begin!"

Vaughn saw the ugly face of Arvin Sloane hover above him, and then the face of a different man, a man he'd never seen before on the other side of him.

"Mr. Vaughn…this is Adolf," Sloane said with a smile. "You might deduce from his accent that he's German, and I found it oddly fitting for what he's about to do to you…" Sloane giggled fiendishly.

Adolf leered down at Vaughn and then moved away from the table, out of his line of view. It was unfortunate…but all he could do was wait…and wait he did. He was starting to wonder what was going on, because neither Sloane nor Adolf reappeared for what felt like hours. The light was making him very uncomfortable. Not only was it too much for his eyes, but it was also making him hot, the heat from the lamp pounding down on him, his body covered by a fine sheen of sweat…


	166. And Darkness Comes

**I know this is longer than my usual updates, but because of the heavy subject material, I wanted to the whole story of Vaughn's torture in one update. Bear with me.**

These next several chapters contain graphic images of Vaughn's torture. If you don't with to read about those topics, I would suggest not reading these next chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 166: And Darkness Comes**

_"How is one to live a moral and compassionate existence when one is fully aware of the blood, the horror inherent in life, when one finds darkness not only in one's culture but within oneself? If there is a stage at which an individual life becomes truly adult, it must be when one grasps the irony in its unfolding and accepts responsibility for a life lived in the midst of such paradox. One must live in the middle of contradiction, because if all contradiction were eliminated at once life would collapse. There are simply no answers to some of the great pressing questions. You continue to live them out, making your life a worthy expression of leaning into the light." – Barry Lopez _

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." – Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Dolendi modus, timendi non item." (To suffering there is a limit; to fearing, none.) – Sir Francis Bacon

"The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms timidly, and struggles to the light amid the thorns." – George Santayana

* * *

"That should do it," Adolf said suddenly, making Vaughn jump slightly, as he came back into his line of view.

He turned and grabbed something from the cart that Vaughn had seen on his first visit to this room.

Silence pervaded the room until his ears detected something that was clicking…a steady and rhythmic noise…it sounded…electric…

Adolf smiled wickedly, "This is a stun gun…their intended purpose of course was self-defense and subjugation, but they also work quite well as a torture device. I keep rather up to date with the latest news, and I found it interesting that Amnesty International reports governments all over the world routinely use them for extracting information, including your own country…the CIA uses them…don't you find that fascinating?" he asked seriously.

Vaughn didn't respond, and found it difficult to swallow as he listened to the stun gun and watched the blue light flicker and click. This was gonna hurt like hell…

"They leave almost no marks…" Adolf said in wonderment, "Truly magnificent…"

He stood seemingly transfixed by the rhythmic pulsing of the gun. He snapped out of his revere and looked down at Vaughn for a moment before he quickly moved the stun gun to Vaughn's chest.

He only let it sit there for half a second, but that half a second was pure hell for Vaughn. A painful jolt startled and awakened his muscles. Adolf smiled at his outcry and then brought it back again, this time letting the gun lay on his skin for two seconds. Vaughn knew it was two seconds because Adolf cruelly counted out, "One-one-thousand, Two-one-thousand…"

In those two seconds, a shock like Vaughn had never felt before rippled through his body. It was like receiving a shock from someone amplified by about a million times. His muscles spasmed violently and if he wouldn't have been so dazed, he would have screamed.

Adolf waited, watching Vaughn's dazed expression with a sense of accomplishment and admiration. He waited until Vaughn seemed to regain control and then pressed the stun gun in again, leaving it there for five seconds…then ten…then fifteen. Vaughn's body couldn't process all the current that was surging though him and it seemed that all his motor functions, all the signals his brain was trying to send him effectively stopped. His body jerked lifelessly along with Adolf's string of prods.

The only thought that ran through Vaughn's brain besides that of pain was that this was what it must feel like to be electrocuted; to touch a live electric wire and keep your hand there.

Adolf stopped before he lost consciousness; happily smiling at Vaughn's traumatized and weakened state. "Mr. Sloane?" he asked.

Sloane moved over to Vaughn's line of vision, "Yes Adolf…that was more impressive, very enjoyable…"

"Would you like me to continue?"

Vaughn groaned incoherently, his brain processing that little bit of information.

Sloane smiled cruelly, "By all means, let's move to the next one…"

Adolf snarled and grabbed his next toy. He looked down at Vaughn again, who was now covered in sweat, the distress caused by all the shock making his body overexert itself, trying to compensate.

"This is a different sort of stunning mechanism Mr. Vaughn," he explained, "This is a taser gun, what is called a 'flying taser…'" he paused, admiring this new toy, "It's called a 'flying taser' because it has a trigger, that when pressed, launches the electrodes like firing a gun. The normal electrodes would have barbs that attach to clothing, but these have been modified," he said with pride. "These…these are my own special creation. They have the same barbs, but instead of attaching to clothing, these attach to skin…and you should know…the moisture…the perspiration…only serves to make the electric current more powerful…"

Adolf approached Vaughn with the electrodes, placing them on his chest, above his heart, one on each side. After carefully checking the electrodes, Adolf delightedly informed Vaughn they were going to begin. He started the taser and watched in fascination once again as the crackling blue-light flame danced before his eyes. He smiled a repulsive smile and depressed the trigger he had specially made, making the current travel from the taser base to the electrodes, down through the wires onto the circular patches attached to Vaughn's skin.

His body lurched against the restraints as the current swept over him, the water amplifying it to a new level of pain. His teeth gritted and ground against each other as his body was racked with the rushing electricity.

When Adolf turned it off, Vaughn was completely paralyzed; the muscles in his body not able to handle all the commands the electricity was trying to send it. He lay listlessly on the table, the feeling of current still waving over him, his skin prickling from the water, his limbs burning in shock.

Vaughn wanted nothing more than to succumb to a rising darkness that was beckoning him, but it seemed Sloane had other plans. "Make sure he stays awake," he said ruthlessly.

Adolf nodded and grabbed a bucket of cold water, dumping it over Vaughn. He was awake again in no time, the warring sensations, hot and cold, pain and comforting darkness all too much. He pulled unsuccessfully at the binds that held him as the aftershock tremors coursed through his body.

Adolf began to remove the electrodes from his chest; small, round, red, circular burns in their place.

He looked over at Sloane, asking permission for his final task, and Sloane nodded his agreement. He looked wildly at Irina and Sark, both of whom looked like they'd witnessed enough torture for one day.

"What sets these apart is their function," Adolf began, "These are not made for affecting the nervous system or for incapacitating people…these are made for the simple purpose of movement…to get something moving…to cause pain…" Adolf explained as he turned the long, slender instrument in his hand.

Vaughn wasn't really paying attention anymore, his heart was racing; his body weak and drained. His body was wet and he could only imagine how this next round of electrocution was going to go. Of course, as always, he didn't have to wait long, and he just tuned Adolf's accented voice out as it droned on. He did catch, "Prod…and cattle…and wound…" before he was hit with the painful sensation of the prod making contact with his moist skin. Adolf wasn't lying when he said it was meant to cause pain…Vaughn screamed more than he though possible as Adolf repeatedly touched the prod to his wounds, new wounds he created and wounds that already existed on his body. The agony that tore though him was unbearable, and he finally succumbed to the inviting darkness, Adolf still prodding him excitedly.

Sloane was not happy that Vaughn had passed out, "Wake him up!" he yelled frantically.

Adolf tried more water, but Vaughn was totally unconscious.

Sark piped up, "No one can withstand that much electricity for much longer…it was bound to happen…"

Sloane stormed off angrily, waving him arms erratically, "Cell! Take him back to the cell!"

Adolf unhappily unstrapped Vaughn and motioned for the waiting goons to take him away.

They lifted Vaughn's unconscious form and dragged him back to the cell, leaving him cold, wet and injured on the hard cement floor.  
**End Flashback**

"I didn't think anything could get worse than that…but it did of course…Sloane always found something else to push it further…I was out for a while…I'm not sure how long…but I think it was more than a day or so…I'm not sure…I just remember waking up and being really cold…which made sense when I realized they just threw me in the cell, wet of course, no clothes…I was shaking…pretty much in shock I think or past that…I just tried to keep my mind off of the pain, tried to think about Sydney…"

He stopped, thinking, "I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for that time I was out…coulda been hours, coulda been days, I had no clue, no sense of time…and I mean…I was in so much pain…it's not hard to tell when you have injuries to know the extent…I knew…I just…there wasn't anything I could do about them…they bled, they hurt, but…what was I supposed to do? I couldn't fix anything…and they just kept doing more."

"I was actually really happy though after all that, that I passed out…because it became the only way I could rest. They started to keep me awake after that, Sloane got pissed cause Adolf let me pass out I guess…they'd come in at all hours of the day and night and wake me up…I never got a full night's sleep after that…the solace…of unconsciousness…it was like my only power…and yet I had no power over it. I couldn't really will myself to pass out; I just had to wait until they did something bad enough that would warrant the blackness. The cell…was dark, but it wasn't the same as being unconscious. They could hurt me in the dark, but once I passed out, they could do whatever they wanted and it wouldn't have fazed me…"

He stopped again, looking at the stress ball still locked in a tight grip in his hand, "I remember that my fingers were really cold…I couldn't feel them…and the ones that were broken…I just…I couldn't hold onto anything…I could only imagine what they would do next…I think that's part of the reason why they left me in the cell for such long time periods, because it made me wonder what else I would be subjected to…"


	167. WuhPsh

These next several chapters contain graphic images of Vaughn's torture. If you don't with to read about those topics, I would suggest not reading these next chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 167: Wuh-Psh**

_"The scourge of life, and death's extreme disgrace, the smoke of hell - that monster called Pain." – Philip Sidney _

"The weak have one weapon: the errors of those who think they are strong." – George Bidault

"In critical moments even the very powerful have need of the weakest." – Aesop

"To torture a man you have to know his pleasures." – Stanislaw Lem

* * *

"I think it was almost worse to be left alone in the cell…because then all I could do was think…and that starts to drive you nuts after while. I tried not to think about the pain, I tried to think about other things, but when they finally came to get me…I was actually relieved. I suppose that's strange…not that I was looking forward to torture, but solitude, at that level with all the pain…"

**Flashback**  
Vaughn was awake when Thug #1 came to get him, "Time for fun…" he said, "Mr. Sloane has a new friend for you to meet…" He hauled Vaughn to his feet painfully, his whole upper body tormented with anguish. He could tell that this whole ordeal was starting to take a terrible toll on his body. He couldn't breathe well at times and he found himself getting weaker and weaker. 'Well duh Mike,' he thought to himself. To him, it seemed like this had been going on forever, but in reality, it probably hadn't been more than a few weeks. He couldn't help but question how the CIA was handling the situation. He'd tried one night to remember other cases where agents had been taken and how long it had been before they were found. He'd racked his brain trying to come up with ones that had ended happily, and he literally couldn't come up with one. That didn't bode well for his morale, but he tried not to think about it. After all, they didn't have Sydney on the other end.

Thug #1 half dragged, half carried Vaughn into the torture room. He found it funny that he called it that, but really, what else was there? He didn't need to sugar coat it for himself, it happened to him in there…

"Mr. Vaughn!" Sloane said happily, "How nice of you to join us…it's been a few days…did you miss us?"

Vaughn was far too tired and far too smart to play Sloane's games anymore.

Sloane seemed disappointed that he didn't get a response from Vaughn, but he pressed on, "Well…at any rate, we're all here for another day of fun. Mr. Sark, Irina…and my friend, Santiago…he's from Valparaiso…"

"Pure bread Chilean…" Santiago said with pride.

"He's quite a wonder, I'm sure you'll agree Mr. Vaughn. He's going to show you his talents…"

Sloane took a seat and Sark and Irina stood on either side; Sark on Sloane's left side, Irina on the right. He folded his hands and rested his chin on them as he waited for the set up for his new game.

"Your name is Vaughn right?" Santiago asked.

Vaughn didn't answer as two of the other thugs tied him to the ceiling again, shackling his wrists and stretching him so he barely touched the ground, his arms burning already as the blood rushed from his arms.

He looked to Sloane who nodded at him. "Well, since you're not in the mood to chat, we'll just have a one-sided conversation. Where I come from, your trade is your life…my father was a cattle rancher, so I was a cattle rancher. However, my talents with a certain tool exceeded that of the trade…so I became something of a freelancer…using my talent and skill for hire…" he reached for something out of Vaughn's line of view. "My talent afforded me a certain freedom…my work being highly specialized, I was commissioned by everyone from my own government to other international governments…and then of course, Mr. Sloane…but I still like to go back to the ranch every now and then…"

Vaughn gritted his teeth, trying to think of what his trade with the cattle ranch was. Sloane had already had his German friend use the cattle prod…so it couldn't be that…Sloane wouldn't repeat himself.

It was then that he heard the undeniable 'crack.' 'Shit,' was the only other word that floated into Vaughn's mind before he felt the first sting of the whip on his back.

There was no way in hell to stop the screams this time; he didn't even try. Sloane smiled in rapture as the whip made distraught marks on Vaughn back and sides, the skin splitting and blood covering his back in a short about of time.

Santiago stopped, out of breath, and walked over to the slumped form, "I should point out…" he said, stopping in front of Vaughn and forcing him to look at the whip. He showed him the end of the whip, "This is a custom whip…I designed it myself…see these little spikes? Those help to make the wounds jagged, won't heal as fast…rips the skin like peeling an orange…" he laughed and let Vaughn slump down again, slowly cleaning the bits of flesh off of the spikes before walking back to his spot.

He kept going, for almost fifteen minutes, diligently keeping a steady pace, a steady flow of splintering blows, laughing and enjoying the jerks that Vaughn's body made on contact.

Sloane ordered Santiago to stop when he knew that Vaughn was close to passing out, "We don't like it when you lose consciousness Mr. Vaughn…" he snarled. He nodded and of the men handed Santiago a round carton. If Vaughn didn't know better, and he was slightly delusional at the moment, he'd have sworn it looked like table salt. His question was once again answered rather quickly when he felt the searing pain of the salt over the new wounds on his back. He lurched forward, trying to get away from the feeling, but it was no use. Santiago just threw more on.

The feeling of the salt eating away at the wounds; burning, festering, infecting the wounds with anguish; he couldn't take any more…he started to cry.

Sloane smiled sadistically, he was starting to break. He approached Vaughn's form, "You're weak…" he said shaking his head, "Pathetic…when we trained operatives at SD-6, they could withstand SO much more…" He paused, "It's really a shame…even your father lasted longer than this…"

Sloane clicked his tongue, "Ugh…take him back to the cell, I don't want to see his pitiful face anymore," he said in a disgusted tone, "and give him something to eat…he's so weak, he'll be dead by morning."

They unstrapped Vaughn and carried him back to the cell. They made a point of dropping him on his newly injured back before walking out talking about what was in store for tomorrow…  
**End Flashback**

"I forgot the salt…" Vaughn said shuddering. "But…that was…that wasn't the worst…not even that…"

"I was just…I started to believe the things they were saying…I was starting to break. They brought food in that morning before the torture…but I wouldn't eat it. I didn't want to eat…and it wasn't like I could anyway. I didn't have the energy left to eat."

**Flashback**  
Vaughn didn't even remember who had brought him to the torture room that morning after the whipping. He found himself being lowered into the chair with the straps, his back hitting the back of the chair with too much force, the nerves crying out in agony.

When he finally gained enough composure to look around him, he saw that Nikolai was back, smiling at him. He couldn't honestly remember what he said to him, but he felt him break another finger. Truthfully, he was so beyond actual realization, that the finger wasn't really all that painful anymore. Nikolai seemed to sense this however, and decided that a more painful tactic was in order.

He approached the chair and removed his left arm from the restraints. He bent the arm backward at dangerous angles until all in the room heard the shoulder POP loudly. Vaughn shouted in anguish, his shoulder no longer in the socket.

He undid the other straps and pulled him up, stringing him to the ceiling again, leaving the badly injured arm to hold his body weight. Vaughn could only scream as his arm felt like it was ripping off of his body. His chest was on fire, the whip marks stinging, the blood running down his back and sides. His lungs refused to inflate with air, he stood awkwardly gasping, sputtering, coughing up large amounts of blood as his captor looked on in rapture.

"Why would Sydney want you now?" Sloane asked slowly, "She never did in the first place…you're weak Mr. Vaughn…WEAK…you're nothing…"

"Don't hurt her…please…don't…I'll…just kill me…leave her alone…please…" he begged as he started to cry again.

Sloane smiled as he watched the younger man fall apart in front of his eyes. He had begged for Sydney's life…he had won, "Bring him down…put him back in the chair…"

Sloane's men unshackled Vaughn and sat him roughly in the chair.

He regarded the man for a moment, "I acquired this from a ex-employee," he said, producing a brown, rectangular box. He traced the edges while saying, "That day…I lost a finger…" he stopped in front of Vaughn and grabbed his finger, breaking it roughly, "I'm sure you remember that day…"

Vaughn grunted at the pain, but his mind was so awash in pain that it registered only minimally.

Sloane opened the box, and removed a cloth, unwrapping several long needles, "These are called 'Needles of Fire,' and according to this employee of mine, they could make you wish you were never born. I had the pleasure of experiencing three myself…and Cole was right about that…"

Sloane proceeded to place needles, one at a time, happily watching the reactions register on Vaughn face. One on the hand…one on the right shoulder…one in the neck…on the forearm…

Pain that Vaughn ever thought possible rippled through his system. Blinding burning pain spiraled out through his whole body, unimaginable pain…it felt like his blood was boiling, surging through his veins, ready to burst through his skin. All he could do was scream…

Sloane watched happily as Sark took over.

Sark sauntered over to a cd player, and pressed play. Coldplay's "God Put a Smile on Your Face," started to slowly permeate the dead gray walls of the room, "Sydney loves this song…I remember her singing in the car once while we were driving in Paris…she would like this…she liked it rough…she liked to scream…and I could make her scream like no other," he said looking off dreamily.

Vaughn struggled against the pain, the song, the voices; it was too much…too much of everything…

"She has such a great body…perfect skin…only hidden scars…like the one on her thigh," he laughed, "From that ass in Tel Aviv…" he shook his head, "Mmm…intoxicating, isn't she? She can pull you in…" he smelled the air, "Strawberries…jasmine…so many different scents…arousal…" he smiled viciously, "Such a pity…I'm sure we could have lots of fun with her here…perhaps…perhaps she would have even joined in the fun of torturing you…I'm sure she would have enjoyed the screams as much as we do…"

The song ended…and it started again, repeat…repeating forever…  
**End Flashback**

"They eventually dumped me back in the cell…I really don't remember…I woke up there…the pain from the needles still there…it was there for a long time…I believe them…after that…I don't know why…I knew Sydney wouldn't do that…I knew it…but I let them make me think it anyway…I was so tired…and it hurt…everywhere…I just wanted it to end…Sloane was right…he was right…and I broke…it was too…" he paused and was silent for a while as he digested everything…


	168. That Which Does Not Kill Us

These next several chapters contain graphic images of Vaughn's torture. If you don't with to read about those topics, I would suggest not reading these next chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 168: That Which Does Not Kill Us**

_"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." – Mahatma Gandhi _

"Never, never, never give up." – Winston Churchill

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." – Eleanor Roosevelt

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." – Lao-tse

* * *

"I stopped eating…Sloane had them start bringing food in again…I'm not sure why. He was quite satisfied that he broke me…I'm not sure what he had planned after…I mean, I was basically useless to them. I was so far gone…I didn't think it mattered. Sydney had been my reason for eating…my reason for trying to get through it, but with that gone…it didn't matter…I'd lost all hope…"

**Flashback **  
Sloane was sitting at his desk in his office, talking to Irina when Thug #1 walked in.

"Yes Paul?" Sloane asked as he saw him enter the room.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Mr. Sloane…You instructed me to give the prisoner food and water yesterday and again this morning…"

"Yes, I did," Sloane said looking at him.

"When I went to the cell today, the food and water from yesterday was untouched…I don't think he's eating sir."

"Well…I'm not done with him yet…"

Irina turned to Sloane, "What more do you want from him? He cracked…he's useless…"

Sloane smiled, "Well…that may be true, but that doesn't mean he can't suffer more…Cracking is just one more step…now…now he'll believe anything I tell him…"

"Are you going to kill him?" Irina asked.

"Eventually," Sloane explained nonchalantly, "But, I have so many more plans…my ultimate goal would be to deliver him to Sydney…after he's dead…" he looked off, "Perhaps in parts…I could send a part a day…"

"Is that wise?"

"Do you have some attachment to Mr. Vaughn?"

"Of course not…I'm concerned that this vendetta will cloud your judgment and wind up getting us all killed…"

Sloane smiled, "Paul, if I want to toy with Mr. Vaughn more, he needs to eat…make him."

Irina piped up, "Let me…"

Sloane turned to look at her, "Why?"

"Because I will make him eat…and I can do it more effectively…more efficiently…he'll eat…" she said with a treacherous smile.

Sloane returned the smile, "Alright…this could be very interesting," he said. He turned to Paul, "Paul, take Irina to Mr. Vaughn's cell…"

Paul nodded and Irina followed him out.

On the way, Paul turned to look at Irina, "What are you going to do?"

"Make him eat of course…"

"How?"

"I have my ways…"

Paul was silent then and just directed her to the door. He opened it and turned on a single light that illuminated the cold darkness of the room.

"Just let me know when you're done…I'll open the door…"

She nodded and stepped inside, waiting until the heavy door closed before she made any movement.

Once the door was closed and she heard footsteps indicating that Paul had moved away, she surveyed the man in front of her. He lay motionless on his left side; his back to the door, his breathing shallow and labored, his back covered with angry red marks from all sorts of different torture methods. She could see dried and new blood on the floor; traces and splatters littering the hard cement. He was shaking slightly, she wasn't sure if it was from shock, fear, the cold or a combination of all three was probably the most likely. She found it odd that he was lying on his left side, because if memory served, that was the shoulder that was dislocated. She moved closer, seeing the food and water that was untouched as Paul had said.

She leaned down over him, checking to see if he was conscious. His eyes were closed and if she listened carefully he seemed to be mumbling, the words were unintelligible. She pressed two fingers along the side of his neck, checking his pulse, and his body jerked away from her contact.

"Shh…it's ok…" she said quietly.

He flinched again when she tried for the second time to check his pulse, but he didn't jerk away from her. His pulse was thready and erratic, his chest rising and falling in pain. She could tell by his breathing that he had internal injuries. She placed one hand on his neck and the other on his right shoulder and attempted to roll him on his back.

He yelped as she moved him, his tortured back hitting the cement. He pulled away from her, but it only caused him more pain.

"Just relax…let me check your wounds…then we'll make sure your back isn't on the floor…just a few minutes." She pressed a hand to his shoulder to indicate she wanted him to stay down. He whimpered softly, but stayed were he was, he didn't have the energy to move anymore.

Irina worked her way down his body, checking for injuries that wouldn't be outwardly seen. Once she completed her analysis, she moved back to him, and gently eased him up so that his head was resting on her thigh. He moaned softly for a while but then seemed to settle into the position.

"Michael," she said slowly, "I need you to listen to me…you're injured very badly…we need to get you out of here…I'm going to call Sydney…but you have to hang on…you have to eat something…because otherwise, she won't reach you in time…" she stopped, looking down at him, "Michael…do you understand?" she asked.

He seemed to register that someone was calling his name. He looked up at her.

"Michael?" she asked again. His left eye was swollen shut, but she managed to get him to look at her with his other one.

He smiled at her, which she thought was strange, but it was a good sign she supposed, "Michael…I'm going to help you eat, ok? You need to eat…"

His voice was raspy when he finally talked, "I'm sorry…"

She looked at him confused, "For what?"

"I love you…I'm not mad about Sark…I…I don't understand it, but I forgive you…not that…I just…" he trailed off.

Irina looked at him strangely, "What about Sark?"

"You and he…I hope he's stronger for you than I am…I'm sorry…I just…I can't anymore…I'm weak…I'm not strong enough…" small sobs began to emanate from him as he continued, "Sloane was right, I'm weak…I broke…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

"Michael…what are you talking about?"

"Sydney, I'm so sorry…please forgive me for not being strong enough…I just want you to be safe…I never…I never meant to hurt you…"

"Michael…" she stopped, realizing that he thought she was Sydney; "Sydney loves you…"

"I love you…I'm sorry I let you down…I'm sorry I can't…I wish I could hold on…but why would you want…" he sobbed again and coughed, blood coming up with it.

She dabbed at his mouth, sitting him up slightly, so he wouldn't choke, "Michael…Sydney does not blame you…"

"You do…you will blame me, it's my fault…I just hope that I was there for you before…or after Sark…I…" he broke off again.

Irina sat dumbfounded. Vaughn was obviously delirious, the pain, the fatigue, the sleep deprivation, the malnourishment finally taking it's final toll. She needed to get him out of here…fast.

"Michael," she started, "Sark is not with Sydney…he has never been with Sydney…he may have a rather unhealthy obsession with her, but he knows that if he ever touched her, I'd kill him…"

"Sydney…please…just…leave me here, before they find you…I don't want them to hurt you…just go…"

"Michael, Sydney is not…" she stopped. Switching tactics was in order, "Michael, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere…you need to eat…will you eat for me?"

He didn't say anything, but he let her help him with the water. She put the glass to his parched and chapped lips and tried to get him to take a sip. Most of it wound up getting coughed back out, his throat rejecting the liquid after so many days without it. Eventually, she managed to get some down his throat, and he seemed to be swallowing better. She broke the bread into tiny pieces and soaked it in the water before giving it to him. He allowed her to do it for about half of the bread before he shook his head, mumbling that it was enough.

She didn't press, at least he got something, and any more and that might have come back up as well.

She sat with him for a while longer, just letting him rest, letting him relax.

Vaughn looked up at her every now and then, but he didn't say anything else.

Finally, Irina realized, she had to go, otherwise Sloane would get suspicious; "Michael…I have to go…"

"It's ok," he said oddly calmly. "I love you…"

"Michael," she said sternly, "DO NOT give up…do you here me? You wait for Sy– you wait for me to come back for you…"

"Mmm…you are everything to me…" he said, a small smile breaking through.

She swallowed; she had to say it to him. If he believed she was Sydney, she had to tell him, "I love you too…I have to go…you hang on…"

She eased him down which caused a cry of pain. She said softly, "Should I turn you?"

He nodded tiredly.

She gently eased him back to the position he was in when she found him, "Are you sure that doesn't hurt your shoulder more?"

"Nah…can't feel it anymore…" he stated.

She nodded resignedly, "Ok, you hang on…I'll be back for you…just a few more hours…just hang on a few more hours…Sydn–I love you Michael…please hold on for me…"

He made a small noise, she wasn't sure what she had told him had registered, but even if it had, there wasn't much time. The way he had been talking to her, it was like he was giving up, surrendered to his own demise, and that was something she couldn't allow to happen.

She stood and regarded his form before grabbing her cell phone and dialing it.

The phone rang, "Hello?"

"Hello, Sydney…" Irina said.

"MOM?" Sydney asked surprised.

"Sydney, you have to listen to me. If you want Vaughn back you must listen to me now, I don't have much time."

Sydney was silent for a moment and then replied, "How do I know this isn't a trick? How do I know you haven't all ready killed Vaughn and that this is a trap for me?"

Irina was silent a moment as well, looking down at the broken form of Sydney's lover on the cold, damp, cement floor, and then said in an even tone, "You don't…but you'll have to trust me if you want Vaughn alive. I told you Sydney; truth takes time. I meant that…"

"What does that mean? How am I ever supposed to trust you again? You've betrayed me more times than I can count, and that's just me. I mean–"

"Sydney!" Irina yelled, trying to keep her voice controlled, but not having time to argue with her daughter. "You must believe me. Do you want Vaughn or not?"

There was no moment of hesitation this time, "Yes."

"All right, here's what you do…Vaughn is being held in a warehouse just outside of Old Town Prague…Clementium is on Na Rybnicku Street, the warehouse is 47 blocks east of there. When you reach the warehouse, approach it from the southwest corner – that is the most vulnerable point. There's a door…there will be four guards…which is less than any other door. Once inside…you'll need to follow these exact instructions…because one wrong turn in these corridors, and you'll never find him in time. Straight ahead of you when you get in the door, you'll see another door, go through that door, then take a right down the hallway. About three meters down from that is another hallway, take a left, then one more right five meters away. This is the part of the warehouse where Vaughn is being held. He is in room 147. Follow the same route out when you have him. You'll encounter at least two guards at the first door and two in the hallway. There is one that guards the facility where Vaughn is held, but none outside his door. Do you have all of that?"

"Yes," Sydney said.

"Good…" She was about to hang up, but added, "And Sydney…"

"Yeah?"

"Hurry…" With that she hung up the phone, looked at Vaughn one more time and banged on the door for Paul. When he opened it, she handed him the empty glass and the half-eaten bread and he smiled at her accomplishment, risking a glance to the man on the floor.

As he walked with her back to Sloane's office, he asked, "How did you get him to do it?"

She smiled mischievously, "I have my ways…"

He smiled, completely oblivious to her actual 'way.'  
**End Flashback**


	169. Coming To Terms

These next several chapters contain graphic images of Vaughn's torture. If you don't with to read about those topics, I would suggest not reading these next chapters.

* * *

**Chapter 169: Coming To Terms**

_"Life is like and ever-shifting kaleidoscope - a slight change, and all patterns alter." – Sharon Salzberg _

"Everything that I understand, I understand only because I love." – Leo Tolstoy

"Much learning does not teach understanding." – Heraclitus

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be." – Douglas Adams

* * *

Vaughn was quiet for a long time. He looked off, deep in thought, the stress ball gently being flexed in his right hand. The only movements from him were shallow breathing and pensive blinking. Barnett stayed quiet, finishing a few notes as she let him wrap his mind over what he had just told her.

"I don't think I really…she…she saved me…I mean I knew that…but I didn't remember…maybe because I didn't want to. I just don't get her at all…why? Why would she save me? Tell me to hang on?"

He shook his head, "I really don't remember anything after that…I mean, I know Sydney saved me then…but I only have like random flashes, and for all I know, that could have been dreams…but there was nothing…NOTHING better than waking up and seeing Sydney's face…" Vaughn smiled sadly, and took a sideways glance at Barnett.

"Thank you for sharing that with me Michael…" Barnett said.

She was silent a moment, not expecting a response from him. She began quietly, her voice calm and even, "With all that you feel and think as a result of this ordeal, what seems to be the biggest problem you have to overcome?"

Vaughn thought a long while. He sighed and then responded, "I feel…like a burden…"

Barnett regarded him a moment, then asked, "You feel you have an oppressing attitude a lot? Did this feeling start before or after my mind game?"

"Before…"

"And you still feel this way?"

"Sometimes, yeah…"

"Tell me why."

"Well…because I can't do anything. I don't do anything around the house, everyone caters to me, they eat their meals where I do, they watch movies that are 'appropriate,' watch what they say…" he paused, "I do nothing here, yet reap the benefits and I feel guilty…and there's this lingering thought that creeps in sometimes that maybe they just are too nice to tell me that I'm really a burden, that they hate doing all this stuff…"

"I know I led you to believe that Sydney and everyone else was just sparing your feelings, but could you honestly believe that she'd lie to you like that? That she wouldn't tell you if you were a burden on her, on them? She's spent most of her life living in lies and betrayal, wanting nothing more than to tell her loved ones the absolute truth. You think she would want to go back to living like that? You saw the toll all that lying took on her; don't you think you'd be able to see through her lies by now? You shouldn't feel guilty for letting people take care of you; everyone needs it sometimes. Sydney needed it; even Will needed it, and you were there for both of them. It seems that now is your time."

"It wasn't just you suggesting – I thought that before…and yeah, Sydney tells me that too – that it's my turn, that it's her turn to take care of me…but that doesn't make me feel any less guilty." He stopped and then added suddenly, "Maybe I've just never needed anyone the way I need Sydney…"

"I know…Guilt is always the hardest emotion to control. You just have to remind yourself that they wouldn't be helping you if they didn't really want to…"

"I've always been in control before…I've never really been powerless, not to this level."

"That always a scary feeling too. Having power taken away from you…I have two assignments I want you to do after today's session. First, I want you to do one thing today, one thing that puts you in charge. Anything where you can feel like you have complete control of the situation. From how it starts to how it ends…The second assignment is an on-going one. I want you to keep a record, a journal, of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Pick a certain time each day and write down everything you felt during the entire day. If you felt particularly strong about one thing, I would like you to write down why you felt like that; who you were with, what part they played in it, if any. You don't have to bring your journal to our sessions, but you can if you'd like. If you have any questions or problems or worries over certain emotions you feel and their reasons, then by all means I'd like to discuss them with you. Okay?"

Vaughn nodded, "I'm gonna have to type it though…my fingers aren't exactly–"

"That's fine Michael…" Barnett smiled at him, "Now, would you like to go to the Pier?"

"YES!"

Barnett laughed, "Alright, close your eyes Michael…"

Vaughn complied as her words started to wash over him, telling him to breathe in the good and out the bad…concentrate on the rise and fall of his chest…concentrate on his heartbeat…He was there, imagining the Pier in no time…

Barnett let him relax a while before gently touching his arm, pulling him out, "Good Michael. You've taken to that really well…"

He smiled at her.

"I want you to practice getting to The Pier without my help. You can either do this by yourself, or Sydney can help you by breathing with you, or walking you through it like I do. If Sydney helps, I'd like you, in the future, to be able to get there without any help…ok?"

"Ok," Vaughn said quietly.

"Our time is up for today. I will see you Friday then. Don't forget what I asked you to do after the session. Have a good day, Michael."

"Bye Dr. Barnett…"

Barnett smiled and walked out of the bedroom, smiling and saying goodbye to Sydney on her way out.

Sydney practically ran into the room. "Vaughn?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

"Hey," he said quietly.

She smiled at him and sat on the bed, "You ok? That was a really long session…"

"Really?"

"Yeah, it was a little over two hours…"

"Wow, it didn't seem that long…"

Sydney smiled at him. He looked strangely calm for a man who had just spent two hours in therapy…

"What did you talk about?" she asked.

He took a deep breath, "Well…everything…"

"What do you mean?"

"Barnett asked me to tell her what happened…"

"What happened? You mean…"

"Yeah," he said nodding.

"Well, that explains why it took longer…" she smiled and ran her hand over his cheek, "And you're ok?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I am…"

"Aww baby, that's great," she said, leaning down to kiss him.

"Yeah…well…The Pier helped. We did that at the end…"

Sydney smiled, "Good…"

"Yeah…you know what?" he asked excitedly.

She smiled down as the little boy in him bubbled out, "What honey?"

"You can go to The Pier with me! Or at least, help me get there…" he said bashfully, looking away from her.

She lifted his chin to look at her, "I'd love to…how do I do this?"

"Pretty much…well pretty much you just talk me there…or…I'm pretty sure I can get there if I just listen to your heartbeat," he thought out loud, as he looked at her pensively.

The love on her face when he looked up at her was staggering, it was written in droves all over, pouring off of her. He smiled at her, his face lighting up even more.

She leaned down again and captured his lips in a sweet and adoring kiss. When they parted, she rested her forehead on his and asked, "You sure you're ok? Nothing you want to talk about?"

"I'm good right now…" he assured her.

She nodded, "Ok…"

"Sydney," he said seriously.

She looked over at him, at his change of tone, "What?"

"I want to tell you…I want you to know…I mean if you want to know…but…I think it…it would be harder to tell you…"

"Why?"

"Because you love me…"

"Yeah, you have that part right…and it's ok Vaughn, you don't have to tell me if you're not ready…"

"I have to start a journal…"

"You do?"

"Yeah…that's one of my homeworks…I have to keep a journal…" he paused, "I'll write it…then you can read it…ok?"

She smiled, "Only if you want me to…"

"I do…if you want to know everything…"

"I want to know Vaughn…no matter how much it kills me to know what they did to you…I want to know."

He nodded.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah…"

"Ok…I'll start dinner…k?"

"Yeah, great…"

She leaned and gave him a quick kiss and then started to walk out of the room.

"Syd?" he called when she was just outside the door.

"Yeah?" she responded, poking her head back into the room.

"Can you bring the laptop in here?"

She looked at him confused for a moment, but said, "Sure."

She brought it in several minutes later, setting it on his lap, "There…"

"Thanks."

"Sure…" she waited for an explanation.

He finally looked up at her, her eyes questioning him, "Oh…I can't write the journal really…like physically…so I'm going to type it…"

"Ok…" she said, smiling and leaving him to his work.

Vaughn booted the computer and spent a long time just starting at the white Word screen, the little cursor blinking in a steady, mesmerizing rhythm. He was at a loss for how to begin this journal…how does one exactly begin a journal of feelings about torture? It seemed silly and lame to start it with 'dear diary' or something like that, and he chuckled when he recalled the amount of shit he had given his father over keeping a journal. 'I suppose I could address it to myself,' he thought, but didn't like that idea either. He thought again for a while before typing, 'Sydney,' He smiled, thinking it a little strange, but, he was writing it so she could understand, so why not address it to her. He decided that was the route to take.

'Well…there,' he thought, 'I started it…now back to square one…'

Sydney walked in suddenly, starling him slightly. "Sorry baby," she said, noticing his small jump.

"No, it's ok…just wasn't expecting you…"

"So…how did the writing go?" she asked as she closed the laptop and moved it to the chair.

He smiled at her; she hadn't even attempted to look at the screen, giving him all the space he needed, "Well, it really didn't…I got stuck on how to address the damn thing…"

She giggled and set the tray on his lap, "So did you figure it out?"

"Yeah, that part I did…but I didn't write anything yet."

"Well, that's ok…don't rush it, just take your time."

He smiled as he looked over at her, regarding this woman who was so patient with him, so loving, so forgiving.

They ate in a pleasant silence, sharing looks, touches, smiles; laughing and feeding each other…

"I'm gonna clean up, ok?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna try to get some of this out…"

"Ok, sweetie…" she said, setting the laptop back on his lap and kissing his forehead before leaving the room.

He stared at the previously started, 'Sydney,' followed by the damn cursor again…now what…

Finally, he just started typing, whatever came to mind.

"_Sydney, I don't really know where to start and I'm not sure that you really want to know all of this. I told you before that it would be easier for me to write this, because I don't think I could say it to you. I couldn't see the hurt and pain in your eyes while I told you. But, I don't want there to be any secrets between us either, so if you want to know, this is where you can find out_."

He stopped, rereading that sentence, 'that's pretty good…' he thought.

He went back to typing, "_I was completely honest with Barnett when I told her about it; I told her everything, so I think it's only fair I do the same here. So, I'll tell you everything. You should know a few things. First, you were my reason for living, for hanging on, for enduring it all. When it got bad, and all I wanted to do was…well…die…I thought about you, and then I knew I couldn't. I had to keep going. I lived for you. If the pain got really bad, I'd see your face, and it would go away. When they took everything else from me including a large part of my sanity, I knew they didn't have you. I knew you were safe, and then I was ok. I'm not proud of everything that happened, my reactions to what they did to me, and there was a time near the end, when I totally lost all hope, and that, for me, was the worst moment of it all, because I started to believe what they were saying. I'm not making excuses, I just want you to understand that when you read some of this, no matter what I might say, deep down, I knew the truth. I knew you loved me; I knew it wasn't true_."

He paused and took a deep breath before starting again, "_I guess I should start at the beginning…_"

Vaughn typed intently, his brow furrowed in concentration as he thought and remembered once again. Sydney peeked in on him, but he was so engrossed in what he was doing, he didn't even notice she was there. She smiled and left him be, knowing he needed space to get it out.

When he stopped again, he'd gotten scarcely past the first day of torture, and he had already typed three pages, 12-point font, single-spaced. He sighed; this was going to take forever.

He thought a moment, recalling the morning of day two…Sark…he suddenly got very angry thinking about what Sark had said to him. How he taunted him about Sydney, how he made him believe it for a while…even though he knew it wasn't true.

He saved the journal and laid his head back for a minute, his chest becoming heavy realizing all that he'd been through. It wasn't that he felt sorry for himself, it was more that it all just fell on him again, things he'd forgotten, things he'd purposely forgotten…and Sydney…what he could have lost…

Sydney walked past the door, looking in at him. He was lying with his head back, 'probably taking a break,' she thought. She smiled and came in the room, "Hey…taking a breather?" she asked as she moved towards the bed.

When her eyes caught his, she could see pain, fear, memories reflected in his deep green orbs.

"Honey?" she asked, sitting down.

He attempted a smile for her, but she could see it was pained.

"Vaughn," she said, reaching out her hand and caressing his cheek.

He shook his head, and pressed his eyes closed. She felt the tears on her hand before she saw them…


	170. Frozen Inside Without Your Touch

**Chapter 170: Frozen Inside Without Your Touch**

_"She waits for me at night, she waits for me in silence  
She gives me all her tenderness, and takes away my pain  
And so far she hasn't run, though I swear she's had her moments  
She still believes in miracles while others cry in vain  
It's all about soul  
It's all about faith and a deeper devotion  
It's all about soul  
'Cause under the love is a stronger emotion  
She's got to be strong  
'Cause so many things getting out of control  
Should drive her away  
So why does she stay?  
It's all about soul  
She turns to me sometimes and she asks me what I'm dreaming  
And I realize I must have gone a million miles away  
And I ask her how she knew to reach out for me at that moment  
And she smiles because it's understood there are no words to say  
It's all about soul  
It's all about knowing what someone is feeling  
The woman's got soul  
The power of love and the power of healing  
This life isn't fair  
It's gonna dark, it's gonna get cold  
You gotta get tough, but that ain't enough  
It's all about soul  
There people who have lost every trace of human kindness  
There are many who have fallen, there are some who still survive  
She comes to me at night and she tells me her desires  
And she gives me all the love I need to keep my faith alive  
It's all about soul  
It's all about joy that comes out of sorrow  
It's all about soul  
Who's standing now and who's standing tomorrow  
You've got to be hard  
Hard as the rock in that old rock 'n roll  
But that's only part, you know in your heart  
It's all about soul" – "All About Soul" – Billy Joel _

"This time what I want is you  
There is no one else  
Who can take your place  
This time you burn me with your eyes  
You see past all the lies  
You take it all away  
I've seen it all  
It was never enough  
It keeps leaving me needing you  
Take me away  
Take me away  
I've got nothing left to say  
Just take me away  
I try to make my way to you  
But still I feel so lost  
I don't know what else I can do  
Cause I've seen it all  
It was never enough  
It keeps leaving me needing you  
Take me away  
Take me away  
I've got nothing left to say  
Just take me away  
Don't give up on me yet  
Don't forget who I am  
I know I'm not there yet  
But don't let me stay here alone  
I've seen it all  
And it's never enough  
It keeps leaving me needing you  
I've seen enough  
And it's never enough  
It keeps leaving me needing you  
Take me away  
Take me away  
I've got nothing left to say  
Just take me away  
Take me away  
Take me away" – "Take Me Away" – Lifehouse

"Every endless night has a dawning day  
Every darkest sky has a shining ray  
And it shines on you baby can't you see  
You're the only one who can shine for me  
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight  
And a silence falls between us  
As the shadows steal the light  
And wherever you may find it  
Wherever it may lead  
Let your private emotion come to me  
Come to me  
When your soul is tired and your heart is weak  
Do you think of love as one way street  
Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes  
Can't you see me here, how can you deny  
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight  
And a silence falls between us  
As the shadows steal the light  
And wherever you may find it  
Wherever it may lead  
Let your private emotion come to me  
Come to me  
Every endless night has a dawning day  
Every darkest sky has a shining ray  
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by  
But you can find me here till your tears run dry  
It's a private emotion that fills you tonight  
And a silence falls between us  
As the shadows steal the light  
And wherever you may find it  
Wherever it may lead  
Let your private emotion come to me" – "Private Emotion" – Ricky Martin

* * *

"Vaughn? Aww honey," she said softly, gently closing the laptop and setting it on the chair before sitting next to him on the bed and pulling him in her arms.

"Shh…" she whispered as she rocked him gently, "It's ok…they can't hurt you…"

"I could…" he hiccupped, "have…" sniff "lost you…"

She held him tightly, "Lost me? I could have lost YOU Vaughn…they took YOU."

He lost it again, crying harder, burying his head in her chest.

She rubbed his back, trying to help him calm down, but she also realized he needed release, "Just let it out baby," she whispered as she cradled his head, running her hand through his hair.

He didn't stop crying for a long time, clinging to her, wanting nothing more than to be locked in her arms.

When she noticed that he seemed to be stopping, she eased her grip on him, trying to see if he was ok.

His breath hitched as he tried to breathe normally again, his eyes slightly red-rimmed, his body tired, his mind tired.

She stayed close, keeping her body in contact with his, running her hand through his hair again, "You ok?"

He nodded, "I'm…just…tired…"

"Maybe two times in one day was a little too much, huh?"

He looked over at her, "Once might have been too much…" then he looked down.

She smiled empathetically at him, lifting his chin to look at her, "Let's go to the Pier…"

His face brightened immediately, the tension easing slightly. He heaved a sigh of relief, "The Pier…yeah…"

Sydney moved down on the bed, taking him with her, keeping his head on her chest.

She let him lay for a minute before asking, "So what should I do?"

"Just hold me…talk to me…"

"Ok," Sydney said starting to play with his hair, "Should I talk about the pier?"

"Tell me to breathe in the good and out the bad…"

She smiled, "Ok baby…we should do breathing exercises?"

He nodded, snuggling into her more.

"Ok, close your eyes baby…"

He complied and she started, "Ok, when you inhale honey, I want you to think of only good things…all the places we've been together, all the things we've done together," she said, stroking up and down his chest with one hand, the other coiled in his hair. "When you breathe out…let go of all the tension…all the thoughts of torture…no more of that now…concentrate on your breathing…" she stopped, letting him relax, listening to his breathing deepen.

Vaughn slowly started to relax, the tension, the thoughts of horrible pain, all slowly ebbing away. He could hear Sydney's breathing, her heartbeat, a steady thumping in his ear, soothing him and lulling him slowly into repose, his muscles loosening, his mind letting go…

"We're walking on the Pier…holding hands…" she stopped, imagining with him, "Now we're on the beach…walking in the sand…can you feel the sand? We took our shoes off…"

Vaughn smiled, this was significantly more intimate than Barnett's run through.

"Mmm…the sand is warm…we run into the water…but we still have our clothes on…"  
Vaughn chuckled.

Sydney smiled at his reaction, "Concentrate on your breathing…" she said, half teasing.

He hugged her more, burrowing further so he could hear her heartbeat.

"We start to peel off wet clothes while in the water…and then we move back to the sand…it's a private beach…our private beach, by our house…so we have all the privacy we need…" she paused, "Wanna make out with me in the sand Vaughn?"

He opened his eyes, and turned his head up, looking up at her, "We gonna have sex on our private beach?" he asked quietly.

"Of course…"

"Can I just hold you for awhile?" he asked, his eyes pleading with her.

She smiled, and cupped his cheek, "Yeah, sure honey…" She looked down at him for a minute, "Why don't we get ready for bed…"

"It's early…"

"It's never too early…"

He smiled and let her help him sit up. She removed his clothes, leaving his boxers on, and then went to fetch him some pajamas. When she came back with them and was about to redress him, he stopped her hand.

She looked up at him, questioning.

"Can…can we lay without those…"

She smiled, "Yeah, sure baby," she said tossing the clothes away.

"I just…I need to feel you…nothing between us…just skin to skin."

She leaned down, catching him in a slow kiss; "There's never anything between us…never…"

He smiled and watched as she removed her shirt, discarding it on the forming pile next to the bed. Once she was undressed, she helped him take off his boxers and then reclined him on the bed.

"I wanna take this off," he said, pointing to the oxygen tube that seemed a permanent fixture since his hospital stay. They'd gradually started to taper it off, usually during the day. He needed it more at night, his breathing more labored. Even if they tried to go a night without, on the occasion they tried it, Sydney always wound up replacing it at some point early in the night.

She regarded him a minute, "You sure you're gonna be able to breathe ok?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I want it off..."

She smiled, "Ok," and helped him remove the tube. She turned the oxygen off and lay the tube within reach in case she needed to replace it.

Once he was laying; he turned on his right side, and waited for her to join him. She lay down, letting him hold her, her back to his chest, his body conforming to her shape. His left arm coiled around her in a light grip, his stiff fingers dancing on her stomach. She brought her hand down to lay on his arm, running her hand up and down, making him spoon even tighter against her.

His right arm was under her, keeping her as close as possible. She could feel his breath on her neck, in her hair, his face gently pressing into her. They stayed spooned for a long time, the only sounds, quiet breathing and the soft beating of their hearts in tandem.

Eventually, Sydney began to feel Vaughn's lips gently moving over the back of her neck. He slowly moved his hand from her stomach, gingerly maneuvering the shoulder until he could use his hand to move the hair out of his way. She began to feel him move from the back of her neck to the side, picking his head up off the pillow and running his tongue behind her ear as he moved his hand back to her stomach.

She leaned into him, moaning, feeling the rising of his erection as it pressed against her. She brought her hand back to run in his hair, encouraging his actions before her hand moved down to his slowly engorging member. When he felt her hand wrap around him, he jerked his hips forward gently, desperate for her touch. His right hand began to work its way down, grasping her right breast and gently squeezing in time with her own ministrations on his cock before he rolled the nipple between his fingers.

"Oh God Vaughn," she rasped, clenching her hand roughly on his cock.

She ran her finger over the tip, feeling the moisture beads there, and ran the pad over the slit, making him hiss into her ear.

"You wet?" he whispered sexily, making her shiver.

"Mmmhmm…"

"Good…" he said shortly, before gingerly moving his arm from her stomach to her left leg. He ran his fingers over her thigh before telling her, "Put your leg over mine…"

She did as he instructed, craning her neck to look back at him.

He smiled and took the opportunity to kiss her, their tongues dueling for a moment until their position forced her to turn back. She leaned back into his chest, his breath hot on her ear, "Put me inside you…" he said slowly and forcefully.

She smiled and reached for him as he nibbled on her shoulder, loving the feeling of her gripping him again.

"Mmm…now…Syd…now," he told her.

She complied, placing him at her entrance, her juices already leaking down onto her thighs.

Once he felt the head penetrate her, he thrust his hips forward, sending him crashing inside her, his head grazing against her whole front wall.

"Jesus Vaughn…" she said shocked, after her cry of surprise left her.

He smiled and began a slow pattern of thrusts, always sending him into her front wall. His right hand continued its assault on her nipple, alternating rolling it and pinching before he matched his thrusting.

"Touch yourself…" he told her.

She groaned, tonight's vocal Vaughn was being particularly bossy, but she was so aroused, she would have done whatever he asked. She brought her right hand down to her clit, rubbing it in time with his thrusts.

Her other hand corded around to his neck, pulling him closer, sending him further inside her, his tip piercing at sensitive spots deep within her.

"Vaughn…" she chocked out after several more minutes of his onslaught.

"Yeah…" he whispered knowingly.

"I'm gonna come…come with me…"

She felt him shake his head, "You come…I'll come later…" He thrust powerfully inside her, her walls clamping down on him as they reeled from his attention. She came in a flash of blinding light, her orgasm tearing through her as he thrust gently inside, keeping her on the edge of bliss for longer than was normally possible.

He stayed inside, throbbing, aching, her muscles slowly rippling around him, the dissipating rhythm less intense, but still potent.

"God Vaughn…" she said breathless, but didn't have a chance to finish as she felt him withdraw from her. She turned to look at him, wanting to know what was going on, but all she saw was his arm, braced next to her head.

She looked up, and there he was, poised and ready between her legs, already slowly sinking into her.

She arched up, the shock evident on her face, but the feeling of him penetrating her too intense for words at the moment.

He waited until she could look at him again, just content to stay deep inside her.

When she opened her eyes, she reached out her hands and made him look at her, "You be really careful…" she said.

He nodded and smiled, "I know Sydney…" as he pulled out and crashed back inside her, her cervix taking the brunt of the impact. She'd never felt anything so achingly delicious in her whole life. She lifted her hips, meeting his thrust as he leaned down to kiss her, his cock nudging past her cervix as she lifted up further.

"God Sydney…" he moaned as he moved back to his position suspended above her.

Her hands moved to his chest, gently tweaking his nipples as his hips pushed him in and out of her dripping core.

"You're so wet…" he whispered, his eyes slipping closed, his head falling backward slightly as he rammed himself in her drenched center again and again.

"More…God…more…don't stop…" Sydney begged as her muscles fluttered over him.

Vaughn grinned and sped up his actions, before leaning down and pressing his mouth to her neck, the angle making his cock rub against her clit on every stroke.

Her hand ran through his hair, down his back, her nails gently grazing across his skin, making him shiver inside her.

The throbbing in his cock had to stop soon, "Sydney…" he whispered in her ear before he pushed himself up again.

She looked up at him, the jade fires zeroing in on her, "What baby…" she breathed.

"Come with me…take all of me…"

"Always," she replied, thrusting her hips forward, her muscles rippling for the second time.

He let out a straggled moan as the tension worked itself out of him, his climax releasing everything as he spilled inside her.

Her muscles trembled around him, feeling the warmth slowly spread deep inside her, swallowing his seed with greed, merging with her own warmth.

He stayed above her for a moment, drinking in the vision of her lying beneath him once again.

She looked up at him, the face of the man she loved more that life itself. "Come here…" she whispered, easing him down onto her chest before he collapsed.

He stayed firmly planted inside her, his cock still twitching with the force of their shared climax. She wrapped her legs around his, pulling him tightly to her, pressing her lips to his damp forehead.

"You ok?" she asked after a few moments of shared silence.

"Mmm yeah…"

"You didn't hurt your shoulder?"

He smiled into her chest, "Maybe a little…but it was worth it…"

"Vau–"

"No," he stated firmly, his head rising from her chest to look into her eyes, "No…"

She smiled, "Ok…"

"I love you…"

"I love you too honey…that was…incredible…and surprising…"

He smiled, "Yeah…it was."

"I liked seeing 'take charge' Vaughn again…"

His eyebrow rose, "Mmm…did you?"

"Yeah…did you plan this?"

"No…but can I tell you something?"

"Anything…"

"I think I just completed my homework…one of them anyway…"

"What do you mean?"

"Barnett told me I was supposed to do something where I have control over the situation from beginning to end…"

Sydney smiled, "You remind me to thank Barnett for this assignment…and you tell her – I want more of those…"

He chuckled, "I will…"


	171. Watching You

**Chapter 171: Watching You **

_"You can see a lot by observing." – Yogi Berra _

"If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time--a tremendous whack." – Sir Winston Churchill

"Instruction does much, but encouragement does everything." – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart." – Saint Jerome

"Imagination is the eye of the soul." – Joseph Joubert

"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire." – Ferdinand Foch

**

* * *

**

They spent several more minutes just languidly enjoying each other before Sydney said, "You know baby, I should change these sheets..."

He chuckled, "K..."

She smiled and eased him off of her, careful not to harm him and helped him sit up. "Why don't we sit you in the chair while I change the bed."

"K," he said, getting up with her and moving to the chair. By the time they got to the chair, he was slightly out of breath.

Sydney looked at him as she squatted down, "You need the oxygen?" she asked.

He smiled, "Yeah, I think so..." he said nodding.

She smiled sweetly and brought it over to him, gently winding it around his ears and making sure it was snug before she turned it on. She waited until he took a few breaths, "Better?"

"Much..."

She kissed him and started to peel linens off of the bed. She took the crumpled pile of cotton and walked out of the room, dumping the dirty laundry in the hamper before grabbing a new set of sheets.

She smirked as the dryer sheet scent filled her nostrils, a pleasant and soft smell that wafted along with her as she carried the crimson linens down the hall back to the bedroom.

Vaughn was sitting as she'd left him, watching her intently as she spread the new sheets over the bed. He chuckled quietly to himself.

"What?" she asked, turning to look at him.

"It's a really good thing that Will and Francie aren't here yet..."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because you're making the bed naked...prancing around..." he giggled.

"Hey – you're no better clothed..."

"Well, no, but all I'm doing is sitting here..."

She giggled too, "Yeah, I guess I should watch that..."

"Maybe you like being watched," he suggested with a raised eyebrow.

She smirked back at him, "Would that bother you?"

"Who's doing the watching?"

"Well, you of course..."

"Then I have no complaints..."

She smiled and turned, the bed freshly made. "What exactly would you like to watch Mr. Vaughn?" she asked with a sexy gleam in her eye.

"Mmm...I could think of a few things..." he said, his voice catching, his breath deepening as he watched the scene play out before him.

Sydney dropped to her knees, and proceeded to crawl towards him, slinking seductively across the hard wood floor.

"Jesus Sydney..." he said, swallowing hard.

"Vaughn...what do you want to see?"

Vaughn responded, his voice rough, barely contained, "I want to see...you..."

"See me what?"

"I want to see you suck me..."

"Mmhmm..." she said, working her way up his legs, running her nails over the skin, making him shiver.

She knelt in front of him, reaching her hand out to take him in her hand, his erection already straining, almost flat against his stomach. Sydney grasped his cock roughly, pulling on the shaft as her other hand cupped and cradled his balls, massaging and manipulating them gently.

His head fell back as he felt Sydney start to pump her hand up and down his shaft. A low growl issued from his chest when he felt her wrap her hand around the top of his cock and twist gently. Her other hand stayed occupied on his balls, pulling them down gently, stretching the skin and amplifying what she was already doing.

She brought her gaze to his, and keeping eye contact, slowly moved her mouth to him. She gave him an evil smile before covering the head of his penis with her mouth and sucking roughly. Her hand trailed up to his curls, running her fingers through the coarse hair before she brought the hand back to the root. She gripped tightly, his body arching off the chair as all the feelings hit him. He moaned her name as her mouth momentarily left his cock, her hand taking over, while she lowered her mouth to his balls, sucking on each one in turn before licking her way around both of them. Her hand danced across his shaft, alternating between rough and gentle pressures, making him squirm.

She switched gears again, her hand once again manipulating his balls while her tongue began flickering over his cock. Her mouth covered him then, taking his cock deep in her mouth.

He watched the whole scene with a sense of surrealism. He loved Sydney and he knew that she loved him too, but the level to which each of them seemed to go for the other was staggering. As he felt his cock nudge against the back of her throat, the pressure deliciously bringing him to an imminent climax, he threaded his hand in her hair and choked out, "Syd…stop…"

She smiled victoriously and she sat back slowly, letting his cock slip out of her mouth gently, coated with wetness, "Yeah baby?"

"I'm so close…and I'm not done with my watching..."

She grinned, "What else would you like to watch?"

"You..."

"Doing?"

"Lay on the rug...let me see you..."

"See me what?" she teased.

"Make yourself wet..."

"I am wet honey..."

"Wetter then...I wanna see you do it...I want to see you touch yourself…"

"That shower gave you ideas huh?" She smiled, letting go of his thighs, but not before raking her nails down again. She reclined back on the rug, spreading her legs wide.

"Pillows..." he said overcome with the anticipation of the visual onslaught.

Sydney smiled lasciviously and grabbed a few of the pillows, still on the floor from her sheet changing. She placed one under her hips, and one under her head so she could watch his reactions.

"Shit..." Vaughn said quietly, as Sydney's core was bared in front of him on the floor. She wasn't lying, he could see the moisture as it threatened to leak from her center.

Sydney eyed him as she trailed her left hand from her neck down to her breast, running the fingers over the curve of her left breast while her other hand became occupied in her curls. She gently ran her fingertips through the hair as she moved agonizingly lower, until just the very tip of one of her fingers brushed her clit. Her hips arched off the pillow as her left hand pulled and rolled the nipple.

Vaughn's breathing took a definite turn, becoming raspy, even more full of tension than it was moments ago when she had her lips wrapped around him.

Sydney made sure he knew exactly what she was feeling, the moans and groans that came from the woman writhing on the floor a prime indication. To boot, she decided she should verbally tell him as well.

"Oh God…Vaughn…I'm so hot…" she said as her finger moved up and down the slit a few times before it dipped into her wetness. "Oh…I'm so wet for you…"

She began to thrust that finger in and out of her rapidly, the wet sounds echoing off the walls of the warm room, "Vaughn…oh…I need you so bad…I want to feel you stretching me…I'm throbbing for you…"

Vaughn managed to settle himself enough to tell her, "Soon baby…soon…think of your fingers as my cock…I'll be there soon…faster honey…"

She did as instructed, pushing her fingers in and out of her wet core faster and harder, her hips moving off the pillows in time with her finger movements.

"Vaughn…" she said, her voice gasping, her breath catching.

"Make yourself come Sydney," he told her, "Rub your clit…"

She brought her other hand down, switching places, her right hand moving to her clit while her left plunged back into her wet depths. Her orgasm ripped through her, his voice alone enough to make her come, but the eroticism of their activity was not lost on her. When the climax dissipated, she was still completely lost in sensation. Foggy visions of the room floated back in several minutes later. When she felt that her body wouldn't give out on her if she sat up, she did just that, sitting slowly and regarding the man who sat several feet away.

She almost had to laugh at Vaughn's expression. His grin threatened to light the entire house; the pride on his face was all too attractive.

"You're just full of surprises tonight Mr. Vaughn," she said breathlessly as she started to get up and walk over to him.

She sat on his lap, his erection trapped between them, pressing against his stomach. Moisture beads dotted his abdomen, and he could feel her wetness leaking out onto his thighs.

"Did you come baby?" she asked.

He smiled, his whole body covered in a sheen of sweat that matched hers, "Nope…" he said shaking his head and pulling her to him for a kiss.

"What's this then?" she asked, running her had through the moisture that was on his abdomen.

"That's just what you do to me."

She smiled and rubbed the moisture into his skin before bringing her finger up and licking the rest off, "What do you wanna do now?" she asked.

"I'm not done watching yet…"


	172. Mirror Image

**Chapter 172: Mirror Image **

_"Beauty itself is but the sensible image of the Infinite." – George Bancroft _

"What you see depends on what you're looking for." – Unknown

"Joy in looking and comprehending is nature's most beautiful gift." – Albert Einstein

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

**

* * *

**

She looked at him quizzically, "What else do you wanna watch?"

"Us…together…"

"Mmm…ok…" she said, grasping his cock and lifting herself off of him to put him inside.

He stopped her hand and she looked at him again, "What honey?"

"Not like this…" he said shaking his head, "You have…a mirror…"

She smiled, "What's gotten into you today?" she asked playfully before adding, "Because whatever it is…I love it…and it shouldn't go away…"

"What can I say – you're kinkiness has rubbed off on me…"

"Good!" Sydney said enthusiastically, "Wait here…I'll move the mirror…"

Vaughn smiled and nodded, watching her as she moved, once again, naked over to the mirror. She moved it from side to side, sliding it across the floor gently, her ass and breasts wriggling with it.

She positioned it directly in front of them and then moved back to Vaughn, sitting on his lap again. She leaned forward and kissed him roughly, her tongue running along his teeth.

"Not like this," he said between breaths.

She looked at him again in question, "What do you mean?"

"You can't watch this way…I want to you to watch too…"

She grinned wickedly, "Damn Vaughn…"

"What?"

"Who's the voyeur now?" she asked, a sexy gleam in her eye.

He just smirked and pushed her off his lap, indicating that he wanted her to move off of him.

She did and then stood in front of him.

"Turn around…" he said.

She followed his instructions and looked back at him.

"C'mere…" he said grabbing her hand and leading her backwards until she was at his lap again.

He pulled her down so she was sitting on his lap again, only facing away from him.

"Now…put me inside you…and I want to watch…"

She suppressed a giggle and parted herself with one hand as she grabbed him with the other. Once she had the tip at her folds she moved her right hand behind him, holding onto the chair so he could see them in the mirror as well. Sydney then caught his eyes in the mirror before they both moved their gaze down to her core where the tip rested just inside her. They were both so wet that Vaughn met no resistance on his entrance. Instead, he slid up into her in one smooth movement, Sydney's hips meeting his on her way down. They both let out similar moans of contentment and bliss as they watched themselves in the mirror, mirror images imitating every move, every nudge, even expression written on their faces.

From Vaughn's vantage point, he could not only feel Sydney's tight channel pulsing around him, but it was so much different, so much more erotic to watch what she was feeling displayed in the mirror. It was like watching her from outside their act, watching her as though it was someone else. His cock glistened as it emerged out of her core, Sydney's other hand sprawled on his thigh for leverage. He could see the moisture drip down, out of her and onto the chair, and he could feel it too, a general wetness beginning to permeate the seat of the chair.

Sydney's arm behind him on the chair offered a unique opportunity for his mouth as well, because her breast happened to be right in front of him. He darted his tongue out, licking and sucking on any part of it he could reach while his right hand reached over to twiddle her clit.

Sydney's head instantly dropped back, almost violently, the night's events proving to be a little too arousing. She had waited so long, anticipating his entrance, that when he did, the felt even larger, more delicious as he crashed into her cervix on the first thrust. She loved feeling him pushing there, hard and hot, so deep in her that an ache built slowly and just added to her climax at the end. She could feel him rubbing across her front wall, creating even more sensation as she moved up and down on him.

She looked in the mirror, the two of them displayed there, watching Vaughn as he nipped at her breast, as his cock moved hungrily inside her. She had to stop thinking about the situation, or this would be over altogether too fast. She moved her hand off of his thigh for a moment and pressed it to her lower abdomen, feeling the firmness as it pushed into her deeply.

"You like that?" Vaughn asked, making her look up at him in the mirror, and also forcing her hand back to his thigh to keep herself upright.

"I can feel you…from the outside…"

"I know," he said with a cognizant smile, "I love that feeling…" he said, moving his hand from her clit to her abdomen, spending a few minutes feeling himself.

Sydney squeezed powerfully as she moved up his shaft, then let go and let gravity drop her on his lap.

"Oh God…" she said as she watched the whole scene play out in the mirror. His face was flushed, her face similar, their hair matted to their foreheads, their bodies slick with sweat.

"Vaughn…Fuck…Michael…oh my God…" Sydney stammered, her legs beginning to quake.

He smiled triumphantly, he loved when he reduced her to 'Michael,' it meant she was going to come really hard, "Feel me baby?" he asked.

She shook her head rapidly as her eyes fell closed.

"So deep inside?"

"Mmmmmm…"

"Pushing into you? Stretching you?"

"YES…God Michael…YES."

He grinned again, his own climax rising quickly. He could feel the tension in his balls mount as they moved closer to his body, readying for their pending release.

"Come Sydney…" he said, "Come hard…come around my cock…"

She bit her lip before leaning down and back awkwardly to kiss him, "I'm coming…you…you too…" she said shakily.

"I will…you first…"

"No…together…" she said, closing her eyes.

"I'm close…"

"Me too…"

"Open your eyes…watch us come together…"

Sydney's eyes flashed open, catching his in the mirror. They both glanced to where they were joined momentarily, but as they both fought the urge to close their eyes at the climax, they locked orbs, and the orgasm washed over them together, intensifying it beyond comprehension.

Vaughn's cock lurched inside her as the hot, thick semen splashed her walls, his cock jumping with every subsequent spurt.

Sydney felt the rush of hot liquid as it hit her deep inside, her muscles clenching around his thickness as waves of the climax radiated from her core and echoed out throughout her whole body. She gripped the back of the chair hard, her knuckles turning white as her other hand kept a tight grip on his thigh.

He stopped his gentle thrusts upward when every last bit of semen had been milked from him, his cock still twitching inside her warmth. She slumped back against him, trying to keep her weight off of his shoulder, but found that she barely had the energy left to sit up at all. The room was spinning slightly, the force of their climax still hanging heavily in the air.

"Sydney?" he asked.

"Mmm, yeah?" she answered.

"You ok?"

"Fuck yes," she said instantly, "I'm SO tired…but yeah…" she looked back at him, his face a reflection of her own fatigue. She gently eased herself off of him, loving the feeling of them mixed together inside her, the flow starting to drip from her as she turned and sat on his cock once more, facing him.

"Mmm…" he hissed as she lowered herself onto his semi-hard cock, the juices stirring around them, "I know I've surprised you with my…persistence tonight…but I really don't think I can come again…"

"No, sweetie," she said kissing him, "I just wanted to be able to see you face to face…" she smiled and then moved to his neck, "And to do this," she kissed her way down his neck and back up again. "That was…mind blowing…"

He beamed up at her, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she said nodding, kissing him slowly and sensuously.

"The room is still spinning…"

He chuckled, "Good…then I did a good job…"

"You did a GREAT job…I'll repay you later…" she said with a promising kiss, "Now, I don't know about you…but I need to sleep."

"Yeah…me too…"

She slowly moved off of him again, the liquids leaking out slowly again. Vaughn took notice, the sight far too sexual and inviting for him NOT to notice. He accepted her hand as she helped him to the bed, and reclined him.

"You know…you just changed these sheets…" he said.

She smiled, "I know…well, I'll change them again in the morning…"

"Or…" Vaughn offered, eying her, "You could just…climb on again…and we could save the sheets…"

"Well, we're still sweat–" she caught on, "That's a great idea," she said happily.

He returned her smile and she lay on top of him, settling his cock inside her again.

"Gotta keep the sheets clean…" he said with a wink.

"Mmhmm…good thinking…" she said as she lay her head on his chest, "Thank you for tonight Vaughn…"

"Thank you Syd…I love you…"

"I love you too…"

Vaughn closed his eyes and fell asleep almost instantly, the feeling of being buried in her warmth, the safety and assurance he needed to drift off. Sydney followed close after him, a satisfied and sated smile on her face.


	173. Noodle Chatter

**Chapter 173: Noodle Chatter **

_"The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments." – William H. Borah _

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering you own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them - every day begin the task anew." – Saint Francis de Sales

"With love and patience, nothing is impossible." – Daisaku Ikeda

"With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown." – Chinese proverb

**

* * *

**

Vaughn shifted in his sleep, a warm weight on top of him and surrounding him. He yawned and slowly opened his eyes, Sydney's beautiful face before him as he woke.

"Hey…" she said quietly, smiling at him sweetly.

"Hi…" he echoed, yawning again.

She giggled, "Still tired?"

"Mmm…kinda…what time is it," he asked, craning his head to look at the clock, "Jesus!"

"Yeah…"

"How long have you been up?"

"Not long…I was just watching you sleep…"

He looked at her, putting a stray lock of hair behind her ear, "Syd…last night…was…wow…"

She smiled at him before leaning over and kissing him gently. She kept her face close to him, running her hand over his cheek, "You were amazing…" she said.

He smiled bashfully, not meeting her eyes. She brought his gaze back to her, "I mean it…it was amazing…'bossy' Vaughn…he was a great…I like seeing him every now and then…"

"Not all the time?" Vaughn asked.

She looked at him seriously, "It was nice that you took charge…and if that's what you need – that's what you'll get…but just because you did that last night…it doesn't mean I need or want it all the time. Let's make a deal…not that we don't do this already, but…if either of us needs something…we can just say it…I'll say – I need bossy Vaughn tonight, or you can say – you need to be in charge…ok?"

He smiled, "Yeah…"

"Vaughn?"

"I just…If you want that…more…"

She cut him off, "If I need something, you'll know."

He nodded and toyed with the strands of her hair.

"How's your shoulder?"

"Mmm…it's a little sore…but it's ok…"

She nodded, "We'll look at it later…what should we do today? Other than a bath, cause I think we really need one…"

"Yeah, that'd be nice…don't know...I guess I should write some more..."

"You gonna be ok with that?"

"Yeah...I...I need to get it out. I want to..." he looked up at her, "I'll need you later though..."

"I'm right here baby, I'm not going anywhere..."

He smiled up at her, "Thanks."

She nodded, "Well, since it's noon, we should maybe eat something...then we can take that bath. How's that?"

"Sounds good..."

"What should I make?"

"Mmm...Some kind of noodle..."

Sydney laughed, "Noodle?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, "Like noodles in a box..."

She laughed harder, "You're easy to please..."

"Yeah, well...I have you...nothing else really matters."

Her smile turned to awe and love and adoration as she leaned over to kiss him sweetly, "You are so sweet...and so getting repaid later..." she left her sentence with a raised brow.

"I'll hold you to that..."

She smiled and got off the bed, throwing her robe on, "I'll go check the 'noodle in a box' situation."

Sydney chuckled all the way to the kitchen, looking in the cupboard for something suitable. She came back with a box, "How about angel hair pasta? Butter and herb?"

"Great," Vaughn said nodding, "Those are good..."

"I never figured you for a boxed noodle guy honey..."

"Well, a man's gotta eat..."

She grinned and shook her head as she made her way back out to the kitchen again.

The noodles only took a few minutes to make, and as Sydney was putting them on a plate, she had to admit; they smelled pretty good.

She walked back to the bedroom and put the tray down before sitting next to him. She wound the noodles on the fork for him and slowly moved it over to his mouth.

He grinned and accepted the bite, "Mmm…did you try these?" he asked.

She smiled, "No, but they smell pretty good..."

"They are..."

She chuckled and then took a bite herself. "They are good..." she agreed.

He smiled and nodded, "Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"Got milk?" he asked, his face absolutely straight.

Sydney burst out laughing, "I forgot...I'll go get some..."

He smiled, "I wouldn't say anything...but these noodles require milk."

"No, I just forgot – you have to take your pills too, so I'll go get milk."

She returned a few minutes later with two large glasses of milk. She handed him his pills and then the glass, and then waited until he was finished before setting the glass on the nightstand.

"We should look at your shoulder..." Sydney said as they finished lunch.

Vaughn nodded and waited patiently for Sydney to return from taking the dishes out to the kitchen.

When she came back, she sat on the bed and gently eased his arm out, stretching the shoulder.

He tried unsuccessfully to stifle the groan that rose as Sydney manipulated the muscles.

"That hurt you baby?" Sydney asked.

Vaughn nodded, but let her try to loosen it. She wasn't very successful, and finally he had to say, "Syd...stop..."

She ceased her movements immediately and looked at him.

"It hurts...a lot...I don't think it's quite ready for PT."

"Well," Sydney said in a scolding tone, "Then you shouldn't be overexerting it."

Vaughn smiled knowingly, "Well, then take charge Vaughn couldn't have made his appearance."

"Vaughn, I loved that...I did...but you can't hurt yourself being take charge Vaughn..."

"I wanted to...and I'm not gonna just lay here...it was something I needed to do too..."

She ran her hand over the stubble on his cheek, "I know baby...just be careful. I'm gentle with you...you have to be gentle with yourself."

She smiled and let his shoulder rest on the pillow again, "You wanna take that bath? Maybe it'll help the ache in your shoulder?"

"How did you know it ached?" he asked.

She smiled, "Cause I know you..."

He chuckled, "Didn't see the noodles coming."

She laughed, "No, but now that I know – it's a you thing too."

He nodded and accepted her hand as she helped him stand up.

They walked slowly to the bathroom, reliving the routine that they'd completed many times before. Vaughn sat on the chair; Sydney filled the tub. She removed the wrap and bandages and helped him ease into the tub before slipping in behind him.

He sighed like he normally did and they spent awhile just soaking and relaxing, letting tension float away with the rippling water.

Slowly, Sydney began to run the washcloth over his body, wiping away the evidence of their lovemaking from the previous night. She spent extra time running the warm cloth over his shoulder, trying to ease the ache for him.

"I can put my fingers in the water," he said with a smile, looking back at her.

She grinned and chuckled, "Yes you can…"

"It's nice not to have to watch them."

She reached out her hand and grasped his in a loose grip, "This hand is getting better," She remarked, watching as the fingers of his right hand flexed and gripped with hers.

"Now I just need to get the other ones to do that," he said softly.

She pressed her lips to his temple, "Soon baby, just gotta keep exercising them…I can help if you want…"

"You do already…"

"Well, we can step it up a little if you want…"

He craned his head toward her, "Are we talking about something sexual here?"

She giggled, "Well, that too, but I meant in the more academic sense of the word. I mean we can exercise it more…"

"Yeah, ok…it'd be nice to be have both of them usable again…of course, my shoulder will still prohibit me from much of anything."

"It's getting better though…you could have never held yourself up like that a week ago…but you did last night…"

He smiled, "I guess so."

"You've made a lot of progress sweetie, just give it time…"

"It just gets hard…all the waiting…patience sort of loses its value."

"I know…but it has to be that way."

"I know…"

She spent a few more minutes running water over his body, rinsing away soap and injury, "Let's get you out of the tub," she announced.

He nodded and let her help him out and sit in his usual chair.

She bandaged his wounds and replaced the wrap and then sat on his lap to shave him before they walked about to the bedroom.


	174. Hold Please

**Chapter 174: Hold Please **

_"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." – Henry David Thoreau _

"Imagination is more important than knowledge..." – Albert Einstein

"Dreams are ... illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you." – Marsha Norman

"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities." – János Arany

**

* * *

**

"Whadya wanna wear today?" Sydney asked as she deposited him on the bed.

"You can pick," he said tiredly.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, just tired today…"

"I'm sorry honey…"

He yawned, "No…don't apologize, I'm just…I think the therapy kinda wore me out…"

"You sure that's all that wore you out?" Sydney asked with a warning eyebrow raised.

He smiled, "Well…" he trailed off.

She walked over to him and began to dress him; comfortable sweat pants, long sleeve tee shirt. She dressed herself similarly, in comfortable lounging clothes.

"Why don't you take a nap?"

"I just got up…I should be able to stay awake."

"You can take a nap whenever you want Vaughn…you don't need a reason…you're recuperating."

He smiled, "Ok, maybe a little one…"

She returned the smile, "I'll come in and check on you in a bit."

Sydney left Vaughn dozing in the bedroom and let an antsy Donovan outside into the backyard.  
She picked up the house a bit, and got the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. She looked vaguely at her computer in the den, thinking of the pile of files that they had yet to go through, but she really didn't feel like doing work at the moment.

She settled into the couch and turned on the TV. She flipped through the channels until she stopped at a random soap opera. She gathered from her limited time watching that a woman on the show had disappeared and been missing for two years. When she came back, the man she loved was married to some bitch woman from hell, with a really huge face, bad hair and an even worse accent. 'Lame,' Sydney thought as she flipped the channel, daytime television had sunk to a new low. Finally, she just turned the TV off and picked up a book.

When she next glanced over at the clock, Vaughn had been asleep for almost an hour. She put her book down and quietly walked to the bedroom. She peered in at him from the door and watched him for a few minutes. She was about to walk away when she heard subtle and muffled noises emanating from him. She moved into the room and tried to listen to what he was saying. His head moved slowly from side to side, his face wasn't calm, it look…strained. She caught her name in his mumbling and then a "stop…"

She sat down on the bed, trying to decide if it was better to wake him or let him ride out the dream. It seemed the dream was building in intensity however, and she finally decided waking him was probably the best route.

"Vaughn…" she said quietly, placing her hand on his chest. He moaned, but didn't rouse from the dream.

"Vaughn…" she said a little louder.

He jerked slightly, waking suddenly and looked over at her with hazy eyes.

"You ok?" she asked concerned.

"Aww man!" he said frustratingly.

"What?" Sydney asked, confused, "You were having a nightmare…"

"No…I wasn't…" he said factually.

"You looked like you were having a nightmare…you said my name…then you said 'stop' and mumbled some more…and what the hell is spooing?"

Vaughn started to laugh, "Ok, first of all, I said 'don't stop,' and 'spooing' is SPOONING…and I said your name cause I was RIGHT on the verge of coming when you woke me up."

"Coming? You were having a sex dream?"

"YES."

"Well, that would explain the moans…and why it didn't look like a typical nightmare."

He smiled, "That was a really good dream too…"

"What happened?" she asked intrigued.

He grinned, "Well…it was last night on replay pretty much…complete with SPOONING."

Sydney giggled, "Sorry…when did I stop you?"

"Right before I was coming on top…"

"Well…I could do something about that…make up for it…help you get rid of some of that tension that built up…that pent up, unreleased," she pressed on the bulge under the covers, "energy…"

He moaned similarly to the way he had in his sleep moments ago, and pushed his hips up into her hand.

"What should we do?" she asked in a sing-song-y voice, using two fingers to crawl up the bedspread. Once she reached the top of it, she gently pulled it down, exposing his body to her and the very noticeable tent in his sweatpants. She cupped him and leaned up, kissing him lightly, before squeezing him harder through the pants.

Vaughn let out a moan, watching her through hooded eyes.

She snuck her hand around the waistband of the sweatpants and toyed with the elastic before she gently peeled them down. She pulled them off his legs and then repeated the action with his boxers, freeing his erection and watching in fascination as it slapped back against his stomach.

She eyed him seductively as she took him in her hand, running her fingers up and down the silky shaft, spending some time driving him insane by moving the pad of her finger up and down the vein on the underside of the shaft.

Up and down…up and down…his hips were moving with her in an effort to get more attention.

She knew she was frustrating him, but she loved hearing him moan and groan in anticipation and expectation. She had him writhing on the bed in no time, his head moving from side to side as it had in his dream.

"Syd…please…"

"Please what?" she asked innocently.

"I need to feel your mouth…please…"

She smiled and relented, sucking the tip into her mouth, the moisture beads there pronounced and evidencing his heightened arousal.

Sydney had just started to move down his shaft, her mouth taking more and more of him in when the phone rang.

He groaned, "Don't answer that…"

Sydney smiled, "What if it's important?" she asked, letting go of his cock for a moment as she grabbed the phone, "Hello?" she said sweetly.

"Hey sexy!"

"Hi!"

"How you doin?"

"Good…you?"

"Eh…can't complain…I could – but no one cares…Mike around?"

"Sure, just a sec…"

Sydney held the phone out to Vaughn.

He shook his head, "I can't…not now…"

She held it out to him, not relenting.

He sighed, "Who is it?"

She smiled, "Eric…"

He grabbed the phone, "Weiss…hey…man – can you call back?"

"That's the greeting I get? I was gonna stop over…can I call you back? What – you got something else really important?"

"Weiss…come on man…just call back in a few minutes…"

"Mmm…no – cause I'm on my way over already…"

Vaughn sighed and then jumped, suddenly aware that Sydney had moved between his legs again.

He shook his head at her, knowing the look in her eyes, and tried to swat her hand away, but that was near impossible because he could only use one hand.

"Syd," he whispered, "don't…"

She smiled evilly and took him in her hand again, gripping him roughly and pulling on the root of his cock.

"Shit…" Vaughn said in between the moans that started to rise. He's lost all sense of what Weiss was saying to him.

"Vaughn? Mike? You ok?" Weiss asked.

"Yeah," Vaughn breathed, "I'm ok…"

Sydney engulfed his cock abruptly, hollowing her cheeks as his cock was encased in warmth.

"UGH…God…"

"Mike…what…" Weiss stopped.

"Fuck!" Vaughn said, his head pressing back into the pillow as Sydney added her other hand to his balls, pulling and massaging them, rolling them between her fingers.

"W-w-eiss…just…hold please…" Vaughn stammered, out of breath, trying to take in all the sensation while holding a conversation proving too taxing.

He vaguely heard Weiss say, "Dude – What the hell!" before he tuned him out.

Sydney looked up at him, never breaking eye contact as her mouth moved down further, swallowing his cock. Soon, there was pressure on the base of his cock, as her lips attached in a tight ring around him, her tongue swirling and lashing on him as well. His cock never got a break from the slow, wet sliding, the soft slurping noises as her mouth moved up and down.

"Ugh God Sydney…" Vaughn breathed, sitting up a little and burying the phone in his chest to spare Weiss from the largest part of what they were doing.

"Talk to Weiss," Sydney said, momentarily leaving his cock.

He was too close to argue with her, "Mmm…when you GONNA UGH be here?" Vaughn choked out.

Weiss was silent, then said, "Um…maybe I should wait…"

"Shit!" Vaughn screamed as Sydney sucked on him roughly, deep throating his cock.

He attempted to sit up again, but Sydney pushed him back, "Lay down…I'm taking care of you," she said with a gleam before she sucked him into her mouth again.

"Oh God…"

"Vaughn?" Weiss said.

"Just come over…Mmm…" Vaughn could feel his climax rising, the pressure building in his balls, Sydney's throat pulsating and undulating on his cock, "Over…we'll be done…by then…JESUS…"

"Dude – I so didn't need to hear this…" Weiss informed him.

"Ah fuck Sydney…" Vaughn moaned loudly as he began to come, his cock unloaded gush after gush of semen down her throat. Sydney swallowed all of him, not letting a drop leak from her mouth.

She waited until he was finished, fondling his balls while he came down, making him shiver under her touch.

He looked winded, but sated. She let him slip from her mouth and then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She crawled up the bed and grabbed the phone from Vaughn.

"Eric, we're done now…but Vaughn can't talk right away, he'll be good when you get here…"

Sydney didn't wait for an answer, just simply hung up the phone and kissed Vaughn.

He kissed her greedily, despite his fatigue, tasting himself on her lips.

"Damn…"

She smiled, "Better than the dream?"

"YEAH…I don't think I really needed to answer that though…I think the amount I just unloaded would be a fine testament to that…"

She giggled and watched as the slow smile crept across his face, his dimples blazing as he looked up at her.

"Thank you…"

"You're welcome…I love it when you come…" Sydney said proudly.

Vaughn chuckled, "Well, you make it easy…I'm surprised half the time I don't come from just looking at you."

Sydney giggled again and kissed him, "Let's clean you up before we scar Eric more…"


	175. Vic and Rita’s

**Chapter 175: Vic and Rita's **

_"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how slow." – Plato _

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb." – Sir Winston Churchill

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress." – Frederick Douglass

"Health food makes me sick." – Calvin Trillin

**

* * *

**

Sydney cleaned Vaughn up and replaced his boxers and sweatpants, and then got him resettled on the bed.

"You doing ok?" she asked.

"Mmm yeah…more than ok…I just hope I'm awake when Weiss gets here…"

Sydney smiled, "Well, I could keep you 'awake.'"

"I think we've scarred him enough – too much more and he'll start to like it…and I really don't want him walking in on anything."

"Good point," Sydney said nodding.

She just got him settled when the doorbell rang; she winked at Vaughn and headed out to the door.

"Hello Eric," she said stepping aside.

Weiss looked at her, but smiled, "Hi…you hung up on me…"

"Yeah, well I had other things to attend to," Sydney said with a smile, motioning for Weiss to follow her.

Weiss entered the bedroom and let out a short laugh when he saw Vaughn, "You look SO whipped…" he said.

Vaughn just grinned at him, a generally glassy-eyed and stoned look on his face, "Mmm…you've never been whipped by Sydney…"

"Well, I heard it all…so…yeah – that's enough…"

"No – you heard MY side…"

Weiss grinned, desperate to change the subject, "You guys know there's a mangled lawn chair by the garbage? What happened to the lawn chair?"

Vaughn and Sydney exchanged a knowing smirk.

"Am I missing something?"

"Well Eric…it broke," Sydney explained.

"Yes, I see that…why? How? You have a party and not invite me?"

"This was a private party Eric…" Vaughn said.

Weiss looked between the two of them, "Jesus…You lucky bastard – you get laid more than I do – even injured!"

"It was part of recovery…"

"So really…how did the chair break? Do I wanna know?"

"Rocking…" Vaughn offered.

"Get out!" Weiss said, "Really? No…"

"Yes," Vaughn replied.

"Oh man…bad visual…well…maybe…not so bad…but…" he looked over at Vaughn expectantly.

"Not a chance in hell Weiss," Vaughn said, shooting him down.

Weiss looked over at Sydney, "Just make sure you don't kill him with all that sex…"

Sydney smirked, "He's got a lot to give…he can take a lot…"

"OH MY GOD…you did not just say that to me…" Weiss said, "NOW I have a bad visual…" He covered his eyes, "Don't you guys like ever STOP? IS that ALL YOU DO?"

Vaughn and Sydney both giggled, "He sounds like Will," Sydney said.

"Oh, so I'm not the only one who gets to witness the Sydney and Vaughn show?" Eric quipped.

Sydney just giggled, looking over at Eric, who shook his head at the couple, "I'm gonna change the subject now," he said, moving over to hug Vaughn.

"How's it going Weiss?"

"It's going…but work sucks without you…it's boring, nobody fun…"

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah…well I'd like to say I miss work…but…well – Sydney keeps me busy…and it's gonna really suck when I have to go back to work."

"Well, you can always just sneak off into random rooms…offices…connect when you're at work."

"Already talked about that Weiss," Vaughn said with a wink.

"Of course you did," Weiss said with a knowing smirk, "How many offices have you christened already?" His eyebrows rose, "Huh? HUH? How many?"

Vaughn grinned evilly, "Like I'd tell you that."

"Aww come on Mike!"

"A gentlemen never discusses…"

"OH shut up! You just had SEX while I was on the phone! You have no shame! Now spill!"

"We've spilled a little all over," Sydney said with the same evil grin, "And – we didn't have sex…"

"You weren't? Well then what the hell was all that moaning about?"

Vaughn's eyebrows rose, "Let's just say it was a mind blowing experience."

"You guys are just MEAN," Weiss said huffily, sitting in the chair, "How the hell do Will and Francie live here?"

Both Sydney and Vaughn giggled for a while, until Weiss joined in.

"So what's up? Why did you stop by today?" Vaughn asked.

"What I have to have a reason to come and see my pal?"

Vaughn chuckled, "Well, no I guess not, but it's you and you usually do…"

"Well…I've been itching to see more of those hockey tapes – we never finished them…and well…I miss you guys," Weiss said sincerely.

"I miss you too Eric," Vaughn said echoing his sincere tone, "You wanna watch a few out on the couch?"

"Sure," Weiss said happily, springing to his feet.

Vaughn smiled and looked to Sydney, who was already moving towards him to help him sit up. She eased him up and then helped him stand and they slowly walked to the living room.

She deposited him on the couch and got him settled and then leaned down to kiss him, "You boys play nice…"

"You going out?" Vaughn asked.

Sydney looked back at him, "No…why?"

"I just…you sounded like you were going somewhere…"

"No baby, I'm not going anywhere…"

Sydney no sooner finished the sentence than Will and Francie walked in.

"Hey guys…" Will said, "Hey Eric…"

"Hey Will, Francie," Weiss greeted.

"Hi," Francie said, "We having a party?"

Weiss laughed, "A hockey party…"

"Oh, fun," Francie said sarcastically, "Well – Syd…if the boys are watching hockey, we should go out…"

Sydney looked down at Vaughn, "You guys are early…Go out where?"

"Yeah, I just decided I needed to leave early – and I kidnapped Will on the way home."

Will smiled, "She's good at that – very threatening, nobody messes with her…we watching hockey?" Will asked happily.

"Yeah, we just started too…you didn't miss anything," Weiss said.

"Great!" Will plopped down and all three were deeply imbued in the game within seconds.

"Let's go to Rita's," Francie suggested, "We don't need an appointment. We can do the whole package…"

Sydney smiled, "Vaughn?"

He looked back at her.

"You be ok?"

He smiled, "I'll be fine."

"Ok…let's go then, I'll change and we can go."

Francie stood behind the couch, watching the game and smirking, as the men got verbally abusive while they watched the game play out.

Sydney reappeared a few minutes later, "All set," she said and bent over the back of the couch, kissing Vaughn on the cheek, "Be good boys," she said.

"We should be back around dinner," Francie announced.

All three let out grunts of recognition, but neither Francie nor Sydney really thought they heard.

Weiss got up to switch to the next tape and looked at the clock, "Wow…that must have been a long game…it's almost dinner time…you guys hungry?"

"Yeah, I can always eat," Will said with a smile.

"Mike?" Weiss asked.

Vaughn nodded, "Sure."

"What are we gonna have?" Will asked.

Weiss shrugged, "I could go get something I guess…"

"Sure," Will said nodding.

Vaughn looked over at him, "What are you gonna get?"

Weiss smiled, "You want a cheeseburger?"

Vaughn smiled, "Sydney wouldn't let me have a cheeseburger."

Weiss looked over his shoulder and around the room, "I don't see Syd here…I'm not gonna say anything…"

Vaughn looked over at him, "She'll find out…"

"So? You haven't had decent, good, greasy food in months…come on – what's ONE cheeseburger?"

"I had cheese fries not to long ago…" Vaughn retorted.

"Syd let you have cheese fries?" Will asked, turning to look at Vaughn.

He smiled, "Yeah…"

Weiss moved closer to Vaughn, "Whatever…listen…she won't know…we'll get rid of the evidence…"

Vaughn looked at him warily and then looked to Will who was just smiling.

He finally relented, "Ok…"

Weiss jumped a little and said excitedly, "YES!" He did a little dance, "OK…" HEE "What should I get? And where am I going?"

Vaughn smiled, getting excited too, "OK…I want two cheeseburgers – only ketchup – and LOTS of ketchup…fries…NO CURLY fries…shit – get both…chocolate shake…large…DUDE – CHILI CHEESE fries…get all of them."

Weiss happily jotted all that down on a scrap piece of paper, grinning like an idiot, giggling like an insanely happy little boy. "OH – dude – gotta get the cheese curds…"

"Go to Vic's…" Vaughn said.

HEE Weiss grinned, "Vic's Diner is PERFECT!" He looked at Will, "What should I get you?"

Will thought about half a second before answering, "I want a bacon cheddar burger…and a chili cheese dog…and onion rings…"

"We forgot the onion rings!" Weiss said, looking at Vaughn and smacking his forehead.

Vaughn was laughing at Weiss' enthusiasm over a simple diner, a greasy one at that, but diner nonetheless.

"K, I'll be back…" Weiss said, practically running out the door.

Vaughn smiled at Will, "I think he's just a little too happy about that…"

"Corrupting is so much fun…" Will said with a smile. He regarded Vaughn for a moment, thinking and forming the correct words in his head, "So…you guys went to bed early last night…everything ok?"

Vaughn looked over at Will, "Yeah, just…kinda burnt…"

"From therapy?" Will asked.

"Yeah…"

"You wanna talk about it?"

Vaughn smiled, "Just…had to remember a lot of shit…" he looked over at Will again, "I told Barnett the whole story yesterday…"

Will looked shocked, "The whole WHOLE story?"

Vaughn nodded.

"Wow…that must have been really hard, I'm sorry Mike…"

"It's ok…I got it out…that was a feat all its own."

"That's really a big step Mike," Will said happily, "Really great…"

Vaughn smiled back, "Thanks."

Will nodded, "So what happens in the next therapy session then? I mean you talked about what happened and everything…"

"Well, that's just the beginning. I told the story, I didn't deal with anything…just got it out…"

Will nodded again, "Yeah…I guess so…still – that's a really huge step…"

Vaughn smiled again proudly, "Thanks Will, really, that means a lot. I appreciate it."

"What are friends for if not for honesty?" Will said with a lopsided grin.

"Lying through their teeth to make you feel better?" Vaughn said with a smirk.

Will smiled, but his tone was serious, "I wouldn't lie to you Mike…"

Vaughn looked over at him, "I know…thanks Will…"


	176. Boys Will Be Boys

**Chapter 176: Boys Will Be Boys **

_"MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants." – Ambrose Bierce _

"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water." – W. C. Fields

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." – Henny Youngman

"Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food." – William Hazlitt

**

* * *

**

Weiss returned a while later, with huge bags of food in his hands.

"Ok…I got everything we need…" he said, ceremoniously placing all the food on the coffee table.

He distributed all the food and then got up and went to the refrigerator. He came back with three bottles of beer, and handed one to Will. Then he stood in front of Vaughn.

"How 'bout a beer?" Weiss asked, enticing Vaughn by moving it hypnotically like a pendulum in front of him.

"Ok, greasy food I might get away with…but a beer? Syd'll kill me."

"It's just ONE beer…it's been five weeks and that's just from when you got to the hospital…ONE beer…you are so whipped!"

"Ok," Vaughn relented again with a roll of his eyes, "but if Syd finds out and is mad – I'm sending her to you…"

Weiss did another little dance and popped the top for him before handing him the beer.

He sat down with his own and started to unwrap his food.

Will took over helping Vaughn, unwrapping his burger and moving the fries closer to him. "You need more ketchup?" he asked.

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah…"

Will got up and returned with the bottle of ketchup, and stood by the couch for a minute. He turned around and walked back to the kitchen.

Vaughn looked back at him in confusion, but Will reappeared a moment later with a bowl. "There…" he said as he set it down.

Vaughn looked down to see a bowl full of ketchup. He smiled, "Good plan."

"I thought so…"

Weiss smiled, "K – we all ready for hockey?"

"Yup," Will and Vaughn answered as they ate and watched, yelling at the television.

They were about halfway through the meal when the door opened.

"Ah shit!" Weiss said loudly.

At first, Sydney and Francie just thought they were yelling at the game, but then they witnessed a torrent of movement as Will and Weiss frantically tried to hide the evidence of their meal. They were completely unsuccessful, and besides that, there was nowhere to go with the food.

Weiss and Will finally just stood guiltily looking, eyes downcast at the women.

"What is this?" Sydney asked, picking up a cheeseburger wrapper, "It's SOAKED in grease!"

Weiss looked up at her, "I just wanted Mike to have a nice…meal…"

"A NICE MEAL?" she said loudly, "His arteries will clog in a few minutes…I can't believe…IS THAT A BEER?"

"WILL!" Francie yelled, making him jump, "I thought you were more responsible!"

"But…I…well…I…" he just stopped, looking down again.

Sydney looked to Vaughn, "And what do you have to say?"

He looked at her as well, "It was really good…" he said with a small smile.

Weiss piped up, "I did it Syd…I got the food, I talked him into it…and the beer. It's my fault."

"No it's not," Vaughn asserted, "I ate it…and I drank the beer too…" he looked at Sydney, "and ya know what?"

She stared him down.

He didn't back off, "It was the best damn beer I've ever had…and it was the best cheeseburger too…one meal that deviated from the 'prescribed plan' is NOT gonna kill me! I wanted the damn food and I ate it!"

Sydney burst out laughing. She looked at Francie, who was giggling too, "Well…I guess we were told…"

She smiled down at Vaughn, "You can eat whatever you want honey…just…well – I wouldn't give you that shit to eat, but if it made you happy, then that's fine."

All the men smiled triumphantly. Weiss looked at Vaughn and Will, "I think we won…"

Francie looked at Weiss, "You never win…you're male…"

Weiss smiled, "Good point…we won the battle but not the war."

"Even that's debatable Eric," Sydney said.

"What did you guys do? Your hair looks great baby…" Vaughn said as Sydney came and sat down with him on the couch.

"Well…we went to Rita's…got our hair and nails done…then we had some other…essential things done…then we had a nice SALAD and came home…"

Vaughn chuckled, "I liked my meal better than your salad."

Sydney smiled, running her hand through his hair, "Just so you don't get sick. You're not used to that kind of food now."

He smiled, "I acclimate well…"

Francie sat down with Will and Weiss took his cue that it was now safe to sit as well.

Sydney looked over at Weiss, "So, where did you get all this crap?"

"Vic's Diner…it's like the best place for burgers and fries…"

"Mmmhmm…I see that…"

Weiss stopped the game and took the tape out. When Will looked at him strangely, he said, "Can't watch it with the girls here…"

Will nodded and smiled.

Sydney leaned over so only Vaughn could here her, "You getting tired?"

"Not especially…"

"Well, remember that before you go to bed, you're supposed to write…and you have therapy tomorrow."

"Yeah, I remember…"

"K," Sydney said, kissing him lightly.

"So, Will…" Weiss started, "I hear that you and I have something in common…"

"What's that?" Will asked.

"We both seem to be witnesses to the Syd and Vaughn show…"

"What do you mean?" Will asked confused.

"We are subjected to our friends antics…of the sexual nature."

Francie burst out laughing at Weiss' statement, watching as realization hit Will.

"Yeah…what did they subject you to? Cause I found THE CHAIR and her PANTS in the backyard…and then they, of course, had to tell me about it…"

"Yeah – well – guess what – someone was getting more than his mind blown when I was on the phone with him earlier…"

"OH GOD!" Will said, "At least I'm not the only one…"

"Nope…apparently not…"

Sydney and Vaughn sat proudly on the couch, smiling and looking at each other knowingly.

"Well, Duckie, looks like you got a friend…he's the one…he makes–"

"I'm gonna hurt you," Will said with a grin.

Sydney started to laugh, Francie joining in.

"Bring it on Duck man!" Sydney yelled through her giggles.

Will just shook his head.

Weiss looked at him, "Why do you live here? You wanna live at my place?"

"I'm seriously debating right now Eric…SO debating…"

"But you'd miss me," Francie said.

Will looked at her and then at Weiss, "Sorry man, she wins…"

"I never win!" Weiss said with a clear sense of distain.

The group chatted for a while yet before Sydney announced that Vaughn needed to get some rest.

Weiss got up and hugged Vaughn.

"Thanks for everything Eric."

"Yeah, I hope I didn't get you into too much trouble," he said with a wink.

"Nah…I'll be ok."

"Good…take care, ok? I'll call ya…or maybe – maybe you should call me – just so we don't have a repeat of earlier…although…I'll call you," he finally decided with a mischievous smirk.

"Yeah ok…bye Eric."

Weiss waved and walked out the door.

"Well…let's get you to the bedroom…" Sydney said, pulling Vaughn off of the couch.

Will smiled, "Hey – if you aren't awake when I leave in the morning, good luck tomorrow Mike…"

Vaughn smiled, "Thanks Will…"

Will and Francie bid them goodnight and walked off to Francie's bedroom.

Sydney and Vaughn walked slowly back to their bedroom, "So…what other 'essentials' did you have done today?" he asked.

She smiled sweetly, "Well honey…I had my hair done…and my nails…we also had pedicures…"

"Mmmhmm…and?"

"What else would I have done?" Sydney asked innocently, batting her eyelashes at him.

"You tease…"

Sydney chuckled, "I may have invested in some waxing…"

"Mmm, we gonna have show and tell?"

"Later – after you write."

"Wow, you know just how to turn me on Syd," Vaughn deadpanned.

Sydney laughed again, "Later baby…you have other things you must do."

"Yeah, yeah," Vaughn said submitting to his fate.

Sydney helped him to the bed and then smiled at his pouting.

"Here," she said, placing the laptop on his lap.

"Can I maybe get my pajamas on first?"

She smiled, "Sure baby," she said, moving the laptop off of him and starting to pull out pajamas for him.

She took off the sweatpants and left him in his boxers before removing the long sleeve tee shirt and replacing it with a short sleeve, comfier one.

"K, there…" she said smiling and placing the computer back in his lap, "You want me to leave?"

"Um…well…no…I don't want you to…but I don't think I'll be able to do this with you sitting right here…" he said, looking up at her.

"It's ok Vaughn…you don't have to explain, I'm sure it would be easier if I just left you alone for a while. You call me when you're done…or I'll check on you in an hour…ok?" Sydney asked understandingly.

Vaughn smiled, "Ok, thanks Sydney."

She smiled and kissed him softly before walking out of the room and gently closing the door behind her.


	177. Cerebration

**Chapter 177: Cerebration **

_"The best part about writing is stopping." – Colin Walters _

"The easiest thing to do on earth is not write." – William Goldman

"The writer is one who, embarking upon a task, does not know what to do." – Donald Barthelme

"When I'm writing, the darkness is always there. I go where the pain is." – Anne Rice

**

* * *

**

Vaughn booted the laptop and waited for all the programs to load and then clicked on the file marked 'Journal.'

He scrolled down to the last page and moved the cursor down to the next paragraph. He read over the last lines he'd wrote, about that first day of torture, and sat a moment, trying to think of what to write next.

"_I spent a lot of time waiting in the cell…thinking…except for torture sessions, I spent the vast majority of my time in that cell…they brought the food in there, the same bread and water everyday, until they decided to take that away for a while too. That second day – Sloane kept trying to bait me, and I wouldn't let him. I brought up Emily, played defiant…it didn't go so well…just made him mad, which I suppose was my point at the time. I just wanted to feel like I wasn't taking all of this lying down. I had to do something. They,"_ he struggled with how to explain actual torture to Sydney, but as he thought, he realized, if he was going to be honest, then she needed to know everything, _"They just beat me up that first time, and took me back to the cell. I hated the cell…but it was oddly comforting as well. It was home while I was there, such as it was and it was always the place they took me back to – it was like the only place that I could have solace. And I thought about you…_"

"_That first week was mostly just beatings, punches…the second week – that's when the real torture started. That day I was introduced to the torture room, where most of the rest of the torture was carried out. It was the same concrete walls, but this room was more equipped. It had two tables, one with binding straps, one without. Shackles on the wall, chair with bindings_," Vaughn stopped, trying to think of the logistics of the room, "_Cart with tools on it, office chair, and the fireplace…_" he stopped again, shuddering, "_They strung me up to the ceiling and Sark took over then. He burned me with a fire poker before he burned me and cut me with his jackknife. Sloane did his cigars next…that was the only part of the torture he actively participated in for awhile. He thoroughly enjoyed that part._"

Vaughn stopped, trying to calm himself, already knowing what he was going to say next, "_I don't think it's possible to relate what something like that feels like…it was bad enough with Sark, but Sloane, he took pleasure in burning me. That's why I have so many of the burns…he'd tell me all about you and how you were going to be there with me soon…how I was partly responsible for Emily's death…how he wanted to make us suffer…The,_" he stopped, struggling to type the next words, "_The smell of your own flesh burning, mixing with the scent of expensive Cuban cigars…that will never leave me. And knowing…knowing what he was doing, I think that was worse…but later, the not knowing wasn't any better. It's not a matter of lesser evils; both are evil._ "

Sydney stood in the living room for a few minutes, deciding what she should do while Vaughn was journaling. She already decided against TV, and she didn't feel like reading anymore of the book she had picked up earlier. She'd had a relaxing evening, just hanging out with Francie, having girl time. The time they spent at Rita's had been wonderful, hair, nails; the whole event was a great change. She suddenly felt the urge to take a bath. They'd taken one this morning, but the evening had been rather lazy, and Sydney wanted nothing more than for that to continue. She debated whether or not to take a bath without Vaughn, but he was busy, and it would be nice to just recline in the tub for a while.

She ran the faucet, and added some lavender bath mix to the running water. Soon, the tub was filled with soapy white bubbles and the room was filled with the aroma. She lit two candles before checking the temperature and shutting off the flow.

She eased into the water, the bubbles tingling against her skin as she reclined, her head against the edge of the tub. She just soaked, eyes closed, trying to let everything float away. Of course, everything floated except Vaughn, but that wasn't a negative thing by any means. Sydney smiled while she mused about him, thoughts running in and out of her foggy, lavender scented brain.

She thought about his defiance tonight over the greasy food and found herself giggling. She was glad he stood up for himself, despite the fact that she didn't agree with his choice of cuisine. She thought about 'take charge Vaughn' in relation to his small outburst tonight. She realized as she was soaking there that the old Vaughn was slowly making more appearances. She was proud of him more and more.

She sat another few minutes, thoughts meandering until she settled on him writing. Right now, in the next room, he was busy pouring his heart out on the screen, telling all about what had happened to him. What would she be reading when he was done? What would that computer screen contain? What kinds of horrendous things had they done to him that she didn't know about? The water in the tub turned colder, and before she realized it, tears were slowly falling, mingling with the bathwater.

The more she thought, the more she wondered if she really wanted to read this…she wanted to know…needed to know what happened to him, but the thought of reading about his agony, about his torment, that didn't sit well at all. More than anything, he needed to do this, and she knew that he needed her to know as well. So, she'd read it…no matter what the cost to her own emotions.

Her crying stopped, and she composed herself, trying to relax again in the water…

"_I thought about fear a lot – then and now…when I was in the cell, alone, I'd think about what they had in store, and that was always scary. The things I imagined, well my imagination wasn't as good as theirs it seemed. But thinking about it, all the time, it does something to you. At first, all I thought about was you. Getting out, escaping somehow, planning how I could make a break, how you would burst through the door and get me out. But after the first few weeks, it starts to wear. You start thinking if you'll get out at all; escape routes become impossible and irrelevant. I started to think less and less about getting out, and more and more about what they had done already and what more they could do. Towards the end, I would have gladly invited death. I tried to be defiant in the beginning, not let Sloane get his way, not let him get to me, but again, after a while, you start to believe it…they were good at torturing. No matter what my mind, my heart told me somewhere deep down, about you, about the CIA, about anything; no matter how much I knew it subconsciously, when you're there…it's impossible not to fall into what they're saying._" He stopped and took a deep breath and ran his hand over his face, massaging his eyes and collecting his thoughts.

"_I would spend hours arguing with myself in my head, warring thoughts, knowing what was true and what I perceived from them. Analyzing how they could have stumbled upon certain information. How they knew something about you, about me…about us. I knew that all that information could be found in records, records which Sloane possessed, but at the time, those thoughts don't come into play. I wasn't even thinking rationally at the end_." Vaughn stopped and thought about Sydney's mother. 'Should I tell her about that?' he asked himself. 'Perhaps later…'

He started at the screen and yawned, 'Wow…this is really tiring…' He thought a few more moments, trying to decide where to go next, what to say next…but he found it harder and harder to keep his eyes open. He tried to think of more to say, but his eyelids kept betraying him, dropping ever so often. He leaned back and closed his eyes for a minute…

Sydney let the water out of the tub and grabbed a towel to dry herself off. The tub was left with millions of suds and bubbles, the scent of lavender still evident in the room. She started to dry her hair with another towel as she attempted to get the elusive froth out of the tub. Once that was accomplished, she went over to the mirror and replaced the towel with her robe. She combed her hair and put it up in a loose ponytail and finished getting ready for bed, brushing her teeth and other necessities.

She was about to walk back into the bedroom, when a thought hit her. She and Vaughn had yet to play 'Show and Tell' tonight. She knew he was writing, but it'd been well over an hour and she was sure he'd gladly forgo his academic pursuit for her.

She smiled evilly and let the robe fall to the floor. She walked slowly and deliberately into the bedroom, coming around the side of the bed and standing next to it. Her gaze moved to include his form, and she almost died laughing.

Her idea of surprise 'Show and Tell' would have to wait, because one of the main participants was fast asleep on the bed. She smirked and walked back to the bathroom to get her robe, put it on and then walked back. She dressed in comfortable pajamas and then tried to hide her laughter as she saved his file and powered the laptop down. She took it off his lap and put it on the chair and then turned off all the lights, save the one that was always left on. She ran her hand in his hair, frowning slightly when she wondered how much this was actually taking out of him. He seemed much more exhausted after writing…She shook her head and then gently pulled him down, and he moved down on the bed without waking.

Sydney got in next to him and snuggled closely, his arm instinctively wrapping around her and pulling her near.

She loved when he did that, possessive yet sweet. She turned her head up to look at him; he was sleeping peacefully. She was so lucky…lucky to have him in the first place, luckier to have him back. She didn't even want to think about a life without him. That was completely antithetical at this point – it was Sydney and Vaughn – that was how it would be. Her smile while watching him sleep took a turn when she thought about Sloane. Truthfully, he didn't enter her thoughts much anymore; she was too wrapped up in Vaughn and what he needed, what they both needed. She didn't have time to worry about what he was doing at the moment. However, when the time came, when Vaughn was better…God help that man, because she was coming…and she was bringing hell with her. She wouldn't let anyone hurt him…not again…not if she had any control whatsoever. This would never happen to him again…

She smiled again, calming, her thoughts settling as she watched him. Nothing was more comforting, more beautiful than watching him rest. She replaced her head on his chest and burrowed into him, loving the feel of his arm around her, his scent surrounding her, lulling her off with him to sleep…


	178. The Power of Words

**Chapter 178: The Power of Words **

_"Sometimes, when one person is absent, the whole world seems depopulated." – Allphonse de Lamartine _

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else." – Erma Bombeck

"It is only too easy to compel a sensitive human being to feel guilty about anything." – Morton Irving Seiden

"For me, words are a form of action, capable of influencing change." – Ingrid Bengis

**

* * *

**

Blurry shapes surrounded Vaughn. He could feel electricity…a whip…he knew pain, but he couldn't make things out. It seemed everything was fuzzy around the edges, a hazy picture of the torture he knew all too well. A figure passed him in his pain induced delirium but he couldn't make out whom it was. Everything seemed ill defined, but he could hear the words…random phrases, distinct voices, laughter and screams.

"You're weak Mr. Vaughn…you're nothing…why would Sydney want you now? She never did…she never wanted you…" Sloane's smarmy voice said.

"It must just kill you to know I got there first…"

Pain…agony…electricity…

"Talented…soft skin…jasmine…"

"She liked it rough…enjoyed shackles…liked being tied up…"

"What we did together was not funny…"

"Pathetic! Trained operatives at SD-6, they could withstand SO much more…even your father lasted longer than this…"

Fire…burning…screaming…

"_Where do we go nobody knows…_"

"Back to the cell…pitiful face…"

"So weak…dead by morning…"

"_Where do we go to draw the line…_"

"She liked to scream – she'd scream my name as she came…liked it rough…made her scream like no other…"

Whipping…breaking…snapping…

"Her thighs wrapped so tightly around me…so wet and warm…"

"Perfect skin…intoxicating…intoxicating…strawberries, jasmine…arousal…I could make her so aroused…perhaps she would have joined in the fun torturing you…screams…she liked screams…could make her scream like no other…"

"_Where do I go to fall from grace…_"

"Scar on her thigh…Tel Aviv…"

Water…Music…terror…

"The pleasuring pain when she comes…how tight she squeezes her muscles and how hard her nails dug in my back…"

"Weak! I'm surprised you lasted this long!"

"She'll never want you!"

"_God put a smile upon your face…_"

"How sex and passion-drugged her eyes get when I thrust into her…the way her mouth goes slack for a split second before she screamed my name in a guttural and keening cry…"

Sydney's voice entered the fray, "So deep…love feeling you…OH GOD…I love running my hands up and down your chest…feeling your hot length pushing inside me…nothing between us…just skin to skin…you're my everything…"

Vaughn jerked awake, and winced instantly as his ribs contorted painfully. He coughed, trying to get his bearings again. He looked around the room, he knew he was in bed, and Sydney's face loomed above his an instant after he coughed.

"Vaughn?" Sydney asked, "Honey?" she touched his chest, "You're soaked!"

She looked over his form, he was shaking, trembling, and he looked slightly disoriented.

"Vaughn?" she asked again.

"Syd?"

"I'm right here baby…" she said moving closer, "Nightmare?"

He nodded.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"It was just a dream," he said quietly, convincing himself.

"Yeah…what happened?"

"Just…torture…journal will have it…"

Sydney nodded, "Are you ok?"

He smiled shakily at her, "I…yeah…I…just…scary…"

She nodded again, running her hand up and down his chest.

He met her gaze, she saw fear and pain, discomfort and need.

"I…" he started, "I need you…"

Sydney smiled sweetly and nodded before she sat on his legs. She grabbed the bottom of his tee shirt and eased the wet garment over his head. She leaned him back and took off his boxers and then shed her clothes as well.

She just laid on him for a few minutes, waiting for his breathing to calm, his gaze to focus.

When it did, she reached down and stroked him a few times, getting him erect and ready. His eyes closed as he felt the sensation, so much different than what he had experienced, what he remembered from the hazy dream.

Sydney maneuvered him so that he was at her entrance and reached up to touch his face as she slowly lowered herself down on him. His head pressed back farther into the pillow as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to rid his over imaginative brain of the horrid memories. He looked up at her, her face shining in the soft light that illuminated the room. She smiled down at him, watching his features relax and contort in pleasure.

"It's ok baby…" she said quietly as she slowly undulated herself up and down his shaft.

He looked up at her in awe and comfort, thankful that she was always willing to pull him out of the dark recesses of his mind.

He smiled slightly, and started to roll them over.

Sydney helped him do it, but concern was evident, "Be careful…you don't have to do this…" she reminded him.

"I want to…I need to," he said, finding a position that was suitable for his shoulder.

"You're going to hurt yourself again…"

Vaughn shook his head and began a gentle thrusting, having never left the confines of her warm depths.

He watched as her back and hips arched with his thrusts, her neck arching off the pillow every so often.

She felt so warm, so inviting, so safe and wet, silky satin and a hot grip that pulsed every time he pushed into her deeply. He could feel his own throbbing, mixing with hers, an insane heat bouncing off of their bodies in waves.

He could smell the distinct aroma of lavender…'she must have taken a bath,' he thought. As he watched her, other thoughts floated around in his head. 'Jasmine…strawberries…legs wrapped tightly around him.' He didn't analyze any of those in detail, but then his thigh brushed hers, and he felt a jagged and slightly rough, raised area that contrasted sharply with the rest of her smooth skin.

He shook his head, trying to rid himself of images and sounds that started to creep in…'Sydney never wanted you…tightly wrapped around me…parting her lips as she came…so deep inside.'

He tried unsuccessfully to liberate himself from the incessant sounds, but no matter how much he shook his head or tried to will them out, they continued to play over and over in his mind.

'Thrusting deeply…wet and warm…liked it rough…never want you…'

'Of course she wants me…' he thought to himself, 'she's doing this willingly with me now…'

'Pathetic! Weak! Dead by morning…'

'Could a man with those qualities be on top, screwing his girlfriend? No,' was the answer he came up with.

But no matter how many times he answered the questions in his head, the voices stayed, 'Scar on her thigh…Tel Aviv…'

Vaughn was scared, but he was also getting angry…Sark and Sloane…they had no right…invading his thoughts in his most intimate act with Sydney…


	179. Unceasing Trance

**Chapter 179: Unceasing Trance **

_"How unhappy is he who cannot forgive himself." – Publilius Syrus _

"If we have not quiet in our minds, outward comfort will do no more for us than a golden slipper on a gouty foot." – John Bunyan

"To have a voice in the back of my head  
Like a face that I hold inside  
Face that awakes when I close my eyes  
Face that I watch every time I lie  
Face that laughs every time I fall  
And watches everything  
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
That the face inside is hearing me  
Right underneath my skin  
It's like I'm paranoid looking over my back  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin…" – "PaperCut" – Linkin Park

**

* * *

**

His thrusts became more erratic, more powerful, driving Sydney harshly into the soft bed. She searched his face, but his gaze wasn't focused on her, it was off somewhere else, and she knew he wasn't thinking about what they were doing.

She reached her hand up to his face and he pulled her hand away, pressing her wrist into the pillow next to her head. His grip tightened, holding her arm there, forcing her stay in that locked position.

He pulled out and slammed back into her, enough to make her cry out, but that didn't stop him. He kept up that pace, slamming into her, an emotional driving force behind him. His brow furrowed, his whole attitude and demeanor changed.

Sydney realized this wasn't about making love anymore, he was frustrated and angry, hurt and it was written all over his face, his body language, the way he seemed to not realize she was even there.

She could feel his fingers digging into her skin, making marks, but she didn't stop him. Stopping him would only either hurt him or frighten him more, so she let him continue; trying to keep up with his pace and intensity, but it was largely futile. She couldn't move much, his weight pressing her into the bed and his hand holding hers down.

All the while, the adrenaline drove him on, the voices unceasing, unrelenting, like the same record repeating over and over in his head…'_God put a smile upon your face…_' He thrust roughly and deeply, mercilessly driving his cock into her cervix, wanting nothing more that to make it all stop, the voices, the endless music. She whimpered, but it didn't register. She watched him hovering above her for a few more moments until she realized he wasn't going to snap out of this unless she made him look at her.

She pulled her other hand up and touched his cheek. His shoulder wouldn't allow him to grab both hands, so she had more leeway this way. She forced his head down to look at her.

Once she saw his eyes, the hidden rage, the fear, the pain, everything right there, pouring out of his emerald pools, she knew he had no idea what he was doing…not consciously.

"Michael…" she said in a shaky voice.

It only took him a few moments to register his first name, Sydney's look, her glistening eyes and the fear and pain. He immediately stopped thrusting and let go of her arm, looking down at her, her hand still fixed on his cheek.

Shame overwhelmed him immediately, "Syd…" he said shaking his head, "I…what…"

She attempted a weak smile, "Shh…it's ok…it's not your fault…you just didn't realize," she told him, as much for him as for herself.

"I…I'm sorry…" he said, tears springing, "I don't…I didn't mean…" he looked at her wildly, terror flashing in his eyes, "Did I hurt you?" he asked in an almost inaudible voice.

She smiled and started to caress his cheek, bringing her other hand to caress his chest as well. "C'mere…" she said, pulling him down to her, resting his forehead against hers.

After a few more minutes, his shoulder couldn't take any more exertion and it gave out slowly, the adrenaline abated and pain slowly inched again.

He eased out of her gently and rolled on his back, his muscles raging in pain and sensitivity.

Sydney laid on her back for a minute, getting her bearings, trying to process all that had happened and then rolled over to him.

"Vaughn…"

His gaze was fixed on the ceiling, "I'm so sorry," he said, tears slowly falling from the corners of his eyes.

"Vaughn," she started again.

"I…I would never hurt you…and now I did…I…" he broke off into sobs.

"Vaughn, it wasn't your fault…" Sydney said, tears slowly brimming as well, "Was it the dream? What made…this happen?"

Vaughn nodded, "Yeah…the dream…"

"What happened in the dream?"

"It was all fuzzy…I couldn't make out images…but I could hear their words…Sloane and Sark in particular…I could feel the pain, but…it was the words," he shivered.

"What did they say?"

"Sloane was weakness…all the time…Sark," he stopped, swallowing hard, staring at the ceiling, "He would always tell me about you…about how you…and he…" he stopped, not wanting to elaborate.

Sydney caught on, "He told you that he and I had some sort of relationship?"

"Yeah…"

"Vaughn…I've never done anything with Sark…I hate him…"

"I know…I know that…I do…that doesn't…my mind added other things, things only I'd know – but he was saying them."

"Baby, I'm sorry…"

"What's wrong with me?" Vaughn asked quietly.

Sydney's heart broke, "Aw Vaughn, it's not your fault…"

"I hurt you while I should have been…Sydney," he looked at her for the first time since she forced him to, "I just tainted the one act that always made me feel safe…"

Sydney leaned up and kissed him, "Baby…you're still safe with me…you'll always be safe here…nothing you did or can do will change that…I'll show you…" she said, easing herself on top of him.

He looked uneasy and was slightly unresponsive, like he didn't want to harm her in any way.

She smiled her understanding and took the lead, knowing that if she didn't do this for him, that his one safety net would fall through, and she couldn't, wouldn't let that happen.

She moved slowly, making everything deliberate and attentive, moving slowly down to help him penetrate her.

He let out a relieved groan when he was inside her again, but he didn't move at all. She looked up at him and saw fear and regret and an uncertainness that wasn't there before.

"It's ok…you can move sweetie, you're not gonna hurt me…just try to relax…we'll work it out…"

A slight bit of tension seemed to abate, but he was still extremely careful and he didn't move unless Sydney did first. She started to move on and off him, gently and tenderly running her hands up and down his chest, to his neck, caressing his face. She made sure that she was in contact with him at all times, knowing that the security this act had once given him had been slightly altered.

Both of their orgasms rose slowly, building to a crescendo that flooded like a dam when they both finally let go.

Sydney coached and encouraged Vaughn through the whole time, whispering gentle words that it was ok to thrust and that he didn't need to be so careful.

She sped up her movements when she could sense both of their orgasms on the horizon. She made sure he was deeply imbedded inside her when his first shudder hit him, his cock surged inside her as her own channel pulsed around him, milking him and coaxing his release.

"Look at me," she said as he started to come.

He struggled to keep his eyes open, but he managed to do so.

"It's ok…" she said slowly, "This is still safe…nothing changes that…ever…ok?"

Vaughn nodded tearfully and tried to relax after the release spilled over him. Sydney laid her head on his chest, his cock still deep inside her, connecting them.

"You're safe…" she said quietly.

He nodded and wrapped his arm around her, running his hand up and down her back.

"I'm sorry Sydney…"

She looked up at him, "It's not your fault…we'll be ok…go to sleep now…you need some rest."

Vaughn nodded and reveled in the feeling of being inside Sydney, her skin soft and silky on his.

He didn't want to sleep though; he'd had enough of that for tonight. He lay awake, just watching her, listening to her breathing…


	180. Guilty Conscience

**Chapter 180: Guilty Conscience **

_"In the small circle of pain within the skull  
You still shall tramp and tread one endless round  
Of thought, to justify your action to yourselves,  
Weaving a fiction which unravels as you weave,  
Pacing forever in the hell of make-believe  
Which never is belief: this is your fate on earth  
And we must think no further of you." – T. S. Eliot _

"No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head." – Terry Josephson

**

* * *

**

A few hours later, Vaughn was still fighting sleep. Sydney had been sleeping for a while already, exhaustion finally taking over, but no matter how exhausted he felt; he wouldn't let himself succumb to sleep. The dream and the night's events kept replaying in his mind. The images and sounds all haunted him, but nothing was more haunting that Sydney's face looking up at him, the fear looming in her soft eyes. Not only had he succeeded in hurting the one person he loved most, but he had scared her as well. HE scared her. That would haunt his thoughts forever…

'How could I let this happen?' he thought, absently running his hand over her back. 'Why did I let those thoughts creep in? Why couldn't I push them out? Why do they still have so much control over me?'

He sighed tiredly, his body screaming for sleep, but his mind was far too active for that. He tried to regulate his breathing, to concentrate on relaxing, but it wasn't working very well.

He found himself drowning in a sea of uncertainty and fear, fear over what he'd done and fear that it might happen again. Uncertainty over what to do now… 'What would happen in the morning? Would he and Sydney be the same? Would she act differently? Who am I kidding? Of course things will be different…'

'Would she be afraid of him now? Would she pretend it didn't happen? Would she be more careful around him?' Thoughts began to drive him insane again, but he couldn't make them stop. It was like a disease that refused remission, he couldn't force them to go away, and he seemingly had no control over their direction.

His breath started to elevate, his body tense. If he didn't do something quick, he was going to wake Sydney up.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, and suddenly realized he could go to The Pier. 'In with the good, out with the bad,' he thought, forcing his brain to focus on something else.

'Water…sand…the beach…walking with Sydney…holding hands…making love at the beach…no one can hurt me here…I'm safe…'

He thought about when times seemed to be simpler, when their relationship was fun, they'd have dinner, they'd make love, they'd get up and do it all over again…times when the exhaustion of the day led to an even happier night, when the world closed in and they still managed to keep their heads above water…a time when his body was closer to the surface, when he wasn't lost in the flood.

He thought about when they'd make love because they were sharing intimacy, when it was all about emotion and love and not always about comfort…when they just needed to feel each other for no other reason than simple contact. When he hadn't needed her so desperately, or not needed her in this way…

His breathing had slowed, his body calmed, and when he felt ready, he slowly brought himself back from The Pier. He took a deep breath and then opened his eyes, Sydney was still lying next to him; he was still in the bedroom, reality settling back in…

He was calmer, but he still refused to sleep…

Sydney woke gradually, feeling Vaughn's warm body so close next to hers. She turned her head up to look at him, expecting to see him sleeping, but his gaze was firmly fixed on the ceiling.

That's when the previous night's events hit her.

"Vaughn?" she said quietly.

He brought his head down to look at her, searching her eyes. She could tell he was waiting for her to make the first move, to set the tone, to decide on any course of action.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

He nodded, "You?"

She smiled and nodded as well.

He smiled unconvincingly and tore his gaze back to the ceiling.

"Vaughn…did you sleep at all?" Sydney asked.

Vaughn shook his head, "I didn't want to sleep…"

She thought a moment; "Not getting sleep won't make things better…"

"When I slept last night, bad things happened, things I don't ever want to happen again. If I don't want it to happen again, then I won't sleep…"

Sydney shook her head, "You need to sleep – that's the first nightmare you've had in weeks…"

"That's because I've been too exhausted to have any…"

"No, you're just as tired now as you were then – you're getting better – but you're also reliving torture Vaughn…give yourself a break…"

"Why are you giving me a break? I could have really hurt you last night…I probably did," he shivered at the thought.

Sydney burrowed closer, trying to warm him, "Vaughn, I'm ok…I'm fine…I mean – it was scary, I'm not going to lie to you and say it wasn't…but I'm ok…and we'll deal with it…I understand why it happened I think…now we just have to figure out where to go…"

He looked over at her, "Why…why don't you just tell me to get the hell out of here…why would you want to deal with all of this? I'm not worth it Sydney…"

She reached out and touched his cheek, but her tone and demeanor were serious, "Michael – I don't ever want to hear you say that again. You are worth it – I wouldn't be here if you weren't…got it?"

He sighed, "You'd think with the therapy…I'd be getting better – seems that's the opposite."

"It will get better – and you didn't answer my question…"

He attempted a smile, "Yeah, I got it…I just don't want you to make a mistake with me…"

"I'm not – and you let me be the judge of that."

"So what do we do now?" he asked.

"We eat breakfast, and then we get dressed…we can take a bath…and we just keep going on Vaughn…"

He sighed and nodded, the weight of the thoughts still compounding on him. He knew this had affected Sydney more than she was leading on, but he'd already made the mistake, he didn't want to push her further.

She left him to make breakfast and returned a while later with the usual tray and his pills.

She helped him down the pills and eat, but the meal itself was rather quiet, somewhat strained.

After about half the meal, Vaughn looked over at Sydney. "I wish you'd just yell at me or something…"

Sydney turned to him, "Why?"

"Because I know I scared you…and I know I hurt you…"

"What good would yelling at you do? It wasn't your fault."

"Well who else is there to blame? I did it…"

"No – Sloane and Sark – they did it…they're to blame…"

"Well, they're not here – and I'm the one who acted it out…"

"Vaughn, I'm not mad at you…I'm hurt, yes, but not with you…I mean that when I say it – it's not your fault…you didn't have control over what you were thinking…"

"You don't know that…"

Sydney looked at him, "Did you say to yourself, 'Now I'm gonna hurt Sydney?'"

"No, of course not!"

"Did you make the words stay in your head?"

"No, I tried to make them go away."

"Then it's not your fault."

Vaughn sighed, "Just…you bottling anger at me or anyone – isn't going to help you. I made you a promise – that I'd go back if I ever hurt you…"

Sydney turned, "Are you serious?"

"Yes," Vaughn said resolvedly, "If you want me to go, I'll go…"

Sydney sat dumbfounded, "Vaughn, I don't want you to go anywhere…One bad night does not constitute you going back to the hospital."

"I never want to hurt you…I won't make that mistake again. And if I have to make the decision, I will."

"Vaughn, there's no decision to be made. It's over…and you're not going anywhere," Sydney said with a tone of finality.

Vaughn knew not to argue. He spent the rest of the meal looking down at the plate of food that Sydney had made. He noticed that she had made things that he didn't need help with. He had a fleeting thought that perhaps Sydney had done that deliberately, but he told himself he was just being stupid and paranoid now.

"You done?" Sydney asked him a while later.

He'd basically just pushed the food around, but Sydney didn't ask him about it.

He nodded and she took the tray away.

As he watched her walk out, he slumped back against the pillow, exhausted and frustrated.


	181. The Purple Badge of Culpability

SORRY FOR THE REALLY LONG WAIT!

* * *

Ok, it took me like HOURS to come up with this title - but when I did, I was SO excited...so - if you've read The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane, then it might make more sense...

**Chapter 181: The Purple Badge of Culpability**

_"Nine requisites for contented living: Health enough to make work a pleasure. Wealth enough to support your needs. Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them. Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them. Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished. Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor. Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others. Faith enough to make real the things of God. Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future." – Goethe _

"For safety is not a gadget but a state of mind." – Eleanor Everet

"While conscience is our friend, all is at peace; however once it is offended, farewell to a tranquil mind." – Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death." – Thomas Paine

* * *

Sydney walked back in but stopped just outside the door when she saw Vaughn. He was lying on the bed. His eyes weren't closed, but he was trying to rest, she could see that much. He looked so tired, so…destroyed. She wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but she wasn't sure how much good that would do at the moment. She wasn't angry with him, she wasn't physically hurt, but she needed time to figure everything out. He was beating himself up about this more than he should have been, and she knew that wouldn't be healthy for him. And the not sleeping part, well that scared her more than what he did, because if he didn't sleep, his nightmares would turn into waking delusion, and well…that was just BAD.

She stood in the doorframe, arms crossed, and waited until he realized she was standing there.

He looked scared at her body language, but he managed a slight smile. He looked down at the bed, "You want me to go back…" he said quietly but with a tone that indicated he already knew she'd called.

She walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. She smiled sadly and then shook her head, "This has really messed you up…" she took his hand, "And that just shows me how much you care about me. Because you're this upset…it just tells me how much you love me…You're not going anywhere," she said looking up at him, "Neither am I…we're both going to get through this…together. I just need time to process…and I know you'll give it to me…"

"I'd give you anything," Vaughn said almost silently.

She caressed his cheek, "I know…and I would too…anything…please, stop beating yourself up…"

Vaughn looked down, "I don't think I'll be able to do that for…" he trailed off, "I don't understand why…" he added with a choked voice.

Sydney leaned over, "We'll figure it out…but you need to rest…"

His eyes went wide and he looked up at her, "I don't want to sleep…"

"Vaughn," Sydney said in an authoritative tone, "You NEED to sleep."

"I…I don't think I could right now anyway…"

"What about that bath? Should we take one? Maybe it'll help you relax?"

"You wanna take a bath with me?" he asked, scared at her response.

She turned his head so that he was looking at her, "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't. Stop doing that…it's not like I don't love you now or something. You're everything…"

Vaughn's brow furrowed.

"What?" Sydney asked concerned.

"N-nothing…" Vaughn said unconvincingly.

"Vaughn…"

"No, it's ok…"

Sydney stared him down, but she could see that the wall was placed and he wasn't going to let her in at the moment. She ran her hand in his hair and smiled, "Bath now?"

He nodded and she helped him get out of bed and trudge to the bathroom. The routine was the same, but he was much quieter than usual, but then, she was too.

She helped him ease into the tub after it was filled and she sat behind him. He made no attempt to touch her and he didn't automatically lean back into her until she pulled him back.

"Vaughn…" she said, whispering in his ear.

"Yeah?"

"It's ok to touch me…you're not going to hurt me…"

He sighed and put his hand over hers where it lay on his chest. It wasn't a lot, but Sydney knew it was a step.

She heard a small gasp as Vaughn took in a breath of air, "Vaughn?"

"Sydney…" he said, his voice laden with remorse, tears springing immediately.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I…" he hiccupped, "I did this…" he said, running a finger across her wrist.

Sydney looked down to where his finger was tracing, a few purple finger marks dotting the flesh. "Vaughn, they'll go away…they don't hurt…"

"That's not the point – I put them there…"

"Honey, you've given–" she stopped, changing her tactic, "Ok…listen, we've both marked each other before…"

"Not like this Sydney…that's not the same."

"I'm just saying, it'll go away…"

"But the memory of them won't!" he said distraughtly.

Sydney sighed, "Vaughn, I don't think anything I say is going to make you feel better…but I don't blame you…please stop feeling guilty about something you didn't have any control over…"

"We don't know that…"

"We talked about this before…"

"Did I hurt you anywhere else?" he asked quietly, his gaze glued to her wrist, his voice full of regret.

"I'm ok…"

"Did I hurt you anywhere else?" he asked slightly more forcefully.

She sighed again, "I'm a little sore…that's all…I'm fine…" she paused a moment, "Did you hurt your shoulder? Or anything else?"

"What does it matter? Look what I did to you!"

"Vaughn – it does matter – did you or not?"

"Not really, not any more that it already was…just sore…sensitive…"

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes."

She nodded and they sat in silence for a few minutes. She kept his head on her shoulder, her other hand playing with his hair, trying to ease the tension in his body.

"Sydney?"

"Yeah…"

"Before…when…when you asked me…"

"Yeah…"

"The nightmare…you said that in the nightmare…"

"I did?"

"Yeah…but you were saying it…"

She waited, but he couldn't seem to get it out, "To…Sark?" she asked, pulling him closer.

He nodded.

"I would never say that to Sark."

"I know…I knew it then too…I just…I don't know what happened…I'm sorry, it just…caught me off guard when you said it."

"Well, I plan on telling you that you are my everything lots…so get used to it."

Vaughn smiled softly, "Yeah…well…the feeling is mutual…"

Sydney pressed her mouth to his head, and they just sat again in silence for a few more minutes.

When his body started to relax she washed his hair and the rest of his body and then did the same for herself quickly. She continued their normal routine, bandaging and wrapping, and leaned down in front of him.

"You want a shave today or you wanna skip it?"

"Skip it," he said tiredly.

She nodded and helped him back to bed, dressing him comfortably and then doing the same for herself. She moved to sit with her back on the headboard. She smiled at him, "C'mere…" she said and extended her hand.

He took it and let her position him in her arms. He laid with his head on her chest, right beneath her shoulder, her legs framing his body, one arm surrounding his chest, the other dancing in his hair. She knew that if she got him relaxed enough and kept up her steady and even motions in his hair that he'd eventually succumb to sleep.

He knew what she was trying to do, but he found that her embrace was too warm, too inviting, too safe to not take comfort and refuge in. "Sydney…"

"Yeah?" she said quietly, keeping the calm of the room in surround sound.

"I'm tired…" he said in a lost tone.

"Go to sleep baby, I promise you won't have a nightmare…"

"How do you know? What if I hurt you again?"

"You won't…just rest…it'll be ok…I promise."

He sighed, abdicating control, he just wanted it to stop. He'd trust Sydney and let his body, his mind, his soul rest, cradled in her arms.

She smiled as she heard his breath take on the familiar sound of sleep, deep and steady, relenting to his need and trusting her promise, trusting his sanity to her.


	182. Seeking Equilibrium

**Chapter 182: Seeking Equilibrium **

_"The pith of conversation does not consist in exhibiting your own superior knowledge on matters of small consequence, but in enlarging, improving and correcting the information you possess by the authority of others." – Sir Walter Scott. _

"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are." – Rachel Naomi Remen

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." – Eleanor Roosevelt

"Come to the edge He said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge He said. They came. He pushed them, and they flew..." – Guillaume Apollinaire

"We cannot be happy if we expect to live all the time at the highest peak of intensity. Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony." – Thomas Merton

**

* * *

**

Sydney spent the next few hours just relaxing and being Vaughn's solace. She watched his body language and his facial expressions closely as he slept, just in case he started to have a nightmare.

She found herself lost in thought…about the man in her arms, about what he'd been through, what they'd been through…

She looked down again; this same man, lost and confused, heartbroken and full of guilt, this gentle lover of hers had turned into something different last night. He was still Vaughn, and she loved him no matter what, but analyzing her own reaction was perplexing.

She'd taken down men twice (or more) her size, reduced them to lifeless heaps on the floor, she could have easily stopped Vaughn, and probably even easier since he was not in peak form. What he did was unintentional, but it scared her…What if she wouldn't have stopped him? How far would she have let it go? What if he wouldn't have stopped?

She scolded herself for thinking those things, but the fear was what brought them to the surface. It was strange how much love got away with…how much she was willing to do for him, and he for her. This unconditional love was a rare quality, now she just had to work on convincing him that her love was not wavered by his one unintentional act…

She turned and looked at the clock, it was almost 1:30PM. She gave him a few more minutes and then ran her hand through his hair while gently rubbing his chest, "Vaughn…"

She smiled when that didn't pull him out of his sleep. "Vaughn…" she said again, a little louder, "You have to wake up baby…"

He stirred slightly and yawned, and then snuggled back in her arms, nudging his head closer to her.

She chuckled, "No honey…you have to wake UP…not go back to sleep."

He groaned slightly, as though the words sunk in but he didn't want to hear them.

"You can't be asleep when Barnett gets here…" she said with a soft smile.

"Mmm…" was the response she garnered with her statement. "Still tired…" he mumbled.

"You can take another nap after she leaves. You should start waking up now though."

He mumbled again and hummed quietly as Sydney ran her hand though the short, soft strands of his hair.

"Ya know…" he said a few minutes later, "If you keep doing that…I'm not gonna wake up…"

Sydney chuckled and settled for just resting her hand on the back of his head, "Ok…then I'll have to stop."

"Mmm I didn't say that…"

"Come on, she'll be here in just a little while…" she slowly started to move him off of her, a frustrated sigh leaving his chest as Sydney settled him on the bed again. He did still look tired.

She got off the bed; "You want anything before she gets here?"

He yawned, "Can I have something to drink?"

"Sure, I'll get your pills too…you want a snack?"

"No, just something to drink."

"Ok," Sydney replied, walking off and returning with a glass of juice. "Here," she said holding the pills out and then the drink.

He took the pills and kept the glass; Sydney sat down on the bed again.

"See…I told you…no nightmares right?"

Vaughn smiled, "No nightmares…thank you."

"You're welcome."

Ding dong

Sydney looked over at Vaughn, "See – I told you, you had to wake up."

Vaughn grinned slightly and handed Sydney the glass of juice as she got off the bed again. They exchanged a glance, neither knowing what else to say. She leaned and kissed him and then walked slowly to the door. She opened it and stepped aside, knowing full well who was on the other side.

"Hello Sydney."

"Hi Dr. Barnett…usual spot…" she said quickly, not allowing Barnett to say anything else.

She smiled and nodded and walked off to the bedroom.

"Hello Michael."

"Hi," Vaughn responded quietly, watching as she closed the door and sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"How did the journal writing go?" she asked with a curious smile.

"It went well," he replied stagnantly.

"Just 'well'? Did you have any troubles getting things started?" Barnett asked.

"I wanted to write what happened to me so Sydney would know, so I just started from the beginning like we did in the session…it was hard in the beginning…it was harder to write it down than it was to verbalize it for some reason…maybe it's because I know Sydney will read it," he said looking at her.

"It's one thing for me to know, it's quite another for someone you live with to hear it. They're going to be around you constantly and it's a scary feeling to put yourself out there like that."

"Yeah...can we talk about something else?" Vaughn asked, his brow furrowing.

"Of course. What's wrong Michael?" Barnett asked concerned.

"I did something last night and I need to know why."

"Okay. What did you do?"

"I had a nightmare and Sydney was helping me like she usually does – we were making love and I kept hearing all the voices from my dream in my head the whole time. I couldn't make them go away...and I got rough with Sydney," he stopped and then continued, "I didn't stop until she made me look at her and then I realized what I was doing – it was like I was on autopilot."

"I see. You just kind of went to a different place instead of being in the moment?"

"I guess, I don't know...no matter what I did – I couldn't make the voices go away."

"What made you go to that place?" Barnett asked.

"I guess the nightmare did – those were the voices I kept hearing – the same ones from my dream."

"Whose voices were they? What were they saying?"

"Sloane and Sark mainly – just things they'd said while they were torturing me. There were things though that they didn't say...things only I would know and Sydney was the last voice."

"And you couldn't snap yourself out of it?"

"No I tried to, but it didn't work – I'd just hear more words and after while, I don't think I was even thinking about Sydney anymore…that's never happened before," he said with a shudder.

"How did you try?"

"I tried to reason with what they were saying, telling myself that it wasn't true, and I tried to just push the thoughts out."

"Did you try going to The Pier?"

"Not then, I did later."

"Is there a reason you didn't go to The Pier? "

Vaughn thought a minute, "I guess I didn't think of it then."

"Okay. We'll work more on getting to The Pier quickly later. So if something like this happens again, you'll be able to handle it better."

"It scared the shit out of both of us, and I never want to see the look Sydney gave me again – but I see it all the time now – this morning...it's there. She tries to be strong, and tell me it's not my fault, but I think she's afraid of me now...I don't want it to ever happen again and I don't really understand why it did now. Is it my fault?" Vaughn asked, his face full of regret and pain.

"Unfortunately, things have to get worse before they get better, Michael. Torture doesn't just affect you when it's convenient, there will be times when you're doing something that used to be safe and comforting and thoughts will creep in. The harder you try to stop them, the worse it's going to be. I understand you're scared, and I don't doubt that it shook Sydney up as well. But Michael, it's not your fault. Consciously, you would never have done that. Subconsciously you weren't even there. Even Sydney knows it wasn't your fault. It only seems that way because you were there physically. Has Sydney given you any indication that she's afraid of you now?"

"Well no – I mean she doesn't like bolt away from me or flinch or anything, but I'm good at reading Sydney, and she doesn't have to say that she is for me to know it. It's all there...It's affected her more than she'll tell me. She won't say anything to me because she doesn't want to make me feel worse – but her bottling it won't make it any better. I just wish she'd yell at me or something."

"I don't think she's afraid of you. What happened scared her, yes, but if she were afraid of you then she wouldn't be around you. When she's ready to talk about it, she'll tell you. She needs to make more sense of it, like you're doing, before she can confront it all. Yelling at you wouldn't make a difference. She's not angry; she's just confused. I'll even bet that a part of her feels like it's her fault."

"Her fault? Why?"


	183. Redefinition

**Chapter 183: Redefinition **

_"Sleep hath its own world, and a wide realm of wild reality; And dreams in their development have breath, and tears, and tortures, and the touch of joy; They leave a weight upon our waking thoughts, They take a weight from off our waking toils, They do divide our being." – Lord Byron _

"You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, in pain, experience losses, and if you do not put our head in the sand, but take the pain and learn to accept it, not as a curse or punishment but as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose." – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

"'The time has come,'" the Walrus said, 'To talk of many things: Of shoes-and ships-and sealing wax-Of cabbages-and kings-And why the sea is boiling hot-And whether pigs have wings.'" – Lewis Carroll

"It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour." – Francis Bacon

**

* * *

**

"That's been the one thing she could do to help you feel safe and loved, she probably thinks she did something wrong or didn't do something enough to stop it from happening. What you both need to know is that it's not either of your faults. And she needs you as much as you need her right now."

"To reassure her that it's not her fault?"

"Yes, and to reassure you that it's not your fault either."

Vaughn thought again, "I don't understand why it isn't my fault."

"It's not your fault because you didn't consciously make the decision to hurt her or lose control…nightmares are manifestations of your fears…and the nightmares help you to confront them and move past your fears…once you both accept that it's no one's fault – then you know that you can get past this."

"How do we get past it? I mean – how do I know I won't do it again? What reassurance can I give her?"

"Well one thing we're going to do is learn how to get to The Pier quicker. Another thing is to unlearn that violent reaction.

"Ok, so how do we do that?"

"First we're going to unlearn unwanted reactions. Think of it like you're teaching your brain not to disobey you, like training a puppy. First you need to realize that you have two problems stemming from just one reaction: the problem and your anger over it. The problem makes you angry enough, but you get angrier because you're angry. Think about why you're reacting like that in the first place and then think about how you can fix it."

"Ok."

"You can stop yourself from becoming worse if you accept that you're upset first. It's always easier to fix one problem than to try to fix two at the same time when you're already mad."

"Ok, so I was angry without realizing I was?"

"Exactly. You were angry because certain thoughts were intruding during a special moment, right?"

"Right. Plus I was angry at their remarks…"

"You needed to accept the fact that you were angry before trying to convince yourself you could overcome it."

"My way of overcoming it was to get violent with Sydney..."

"No, that was your reaction to not being able to overcome it or understand it. You got angry with yourself for not being able to control your thoughts or being able to block them out. Sydney just happened to be in the line of fire, so to speak."

"So how do I overcome it then?"

"Like I said, first accept that you're angry. Understand why you're angry. Then deal with your anger rationally."

"How do I deal with my anger rationally?"

"Your first instinct was to lash out and try to prove you could handle it, right?"

"Yeah."

"Right away, that went wrong. You were already angry, then you added more anger by trying to prove to yourself you were in control. You're never in control when you're angry. You have to understand that you're angry. Once you identify your problem, think of a way to fix it. Instead of getting mad about your feelings, instead of trying to convince yourself that you're not angry or not in control, try to diminish the feeling that started it.

"But I couldn't even do that last night when I was making love to Sydney..."

"How did you try?"

"Well I just tried to push the thoughts out, to convince myself that they weren't true, that they weren't right."

"What specifically did you say to yourself in your mind to push them away?"

"Well when I'd hear them say something about me being weak, I'd try to tell myself that I couldn't do this if I was weak. Or if I was hearing Sark...well, I knew he and Sydney never had a relationship, but the words just kept replaying...I guess maybe I didn't do enough..."

"See, you tried to reason with yourself, you tried to convince yourself you were fine before you tried to stop being angry. It's all about thinking before reacting. You went immediately to reacting to the thought defensively without trying to isolate your feelings."

"So, how do I isolate my feelings?"

"Identify them, then learn a new tactic for reacting and dealing."

"What kind of tactic?"

"Let's say you're angry, don't react to that with violence or rage as most people do. Think of other ways to react to anger. You know, sometimes things are funny when you're angry. Ever seen the look on other people's faces when they're angry? They look like petulant children that didn't get their way. Kids are funny. I'm not saying that every time you're angry to think of it as funny, I'm just telling you that there are other ways to react to emotions than what is clichéd."

"I don't think I could have thought anything was funny last night."

"No, probably not. But there had to have been some other way you could've reacted last night."

Vaughn let out frustrated and slightly defeated sigh.

"This is all about training yourself to think of another way to react and deal with things. Think before you react. Life is made of millions of choices. It's just a matter of which one you make. You go down one path and it's dark and bumpy and frightening. You could've taken another road that's butterflies and rainbows. It's all a matter of how you deal with it."

"What about the nightmares? Why did I suddenly have one last night? Was it because I've been digging into the torture more? Because if that's what my nightmares bring, then I don't want to sleep...like ever again."

"Probably because your repressed feelings are finally coming unbottled. You've tried so hard to not be more of a "burden" on Sydney, that you haven't dealt with all those feelings yet. Yes, finally admitting the whole story opened up that bottle, but the nightmares are just your body's way of releasing pent up emotions. Which is also why I've had you start a journal. Getting your emotions down on paper helps deal with the tension of carrying them inside you. Will you have more nightmares? More than likely. But it will get easier Michael. You also know how to deal with them better. Your body needs rest, keeping it awake is only going to make it worse. Not only will you still have to confront your problems, but you'll have added another to the mix. Lack of sleep makes people irritable and that in turn makes them angrier. We don't want that."

Vaughn sighed again and nodded resignedly, "I guess…"

"When all else fails, and you can't find another way to react, go to your safe place – go to the Pier…you seem to like going there."

"Yeah, I like The Pier – but it never even entered my mind last night."

"You don't always have to go through the breathing techniques to get there. The breathing is just a tool to help you get there, it keeps you relaxed and gives you time to let go of everything. Sometimes you don't have the chance to take your time to get there, you just need to get there quickly. One thing that helps get you there quickly is to say the name of your place. You say the name and it triggers the blood flow in the hippocampus to the memories those words invoke, that helps start the calming process. Then all you need to do is keep those memories going until you feel your body relax and feel your mind calm."

"So, The Pier is like my trigger to calm down and analyze my feelings?"

"Yes, The Pier acts as a trigger to happier times…Does this make sense?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about today?"

"No…but...do you think you can talk to Sydney? I don't want her to think this is her fault, and I don't think she's going to talk to me about it."

"Sure, I can talk to Sydney if she wants. I'll talk to her only if you promise me that you'll at least try to talk to her. Deal?" Barnett asked with a raised brow.

"Deal," Vaughn answered nodding.

"Ok, then I'll see you next week. We'll talk about your journal writing and homework next week. I think you have enough to deal with right now. Ok?"

"Yeah, ok…thanks."

"You're welcome. Take care Michael."

"Bye Dr. Barnett."

She smiled and opened the door, slowly walking over to where Sydney was sitting on the couch.

"How are you doing Sydney?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Sydney said with an unconvincing smile.

"Are you sure?" Barnett asked.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay then." Barnett paused, "Well, you have my number if you want to talk." She smiled again and turned to leave.

Sydney watched her start to walk away, "Wait…Dr. Barnett...I need to know something."

"Yes?" Barnett said turning around again to face her.

"I need to know how to handle this if it would happen again, because I'm not sure the way I handled it was the right way."

"How did you handle it?"

"Well..." Sydney blushed slightly, trying to keep the whole sexual side out of the story, "I tried to get him to snap out of whatever kind of trance he was in. I touched his face – really that was all it took...but it was the second time I did it – when he was forced to look me in the eye."

"You handled it well Sydney. It might seem like there was something else you could've done, but there wasn't. You helped snap him out of it, but it's something Michael really has to do himself."

"That's always been the one thing that helped Vaughn...it was his one safety net, and now, well he thinks it's tainted. He says it's the only time he really feels safe. I mean – was there something I could have done to prevent it? Did I do something wrong? I don't blame him – I know it wasn't his fault, but it was still scary. I just think that there must have been something else I should have been doing..."

"Don't torture yourself with things you think you could have done. There was nothing you could do to prevent this, Sydney. That's not a comforting thought, I know, but it wasn't either of your faults. You did everything that you could to help him. He can still feel safe. It might take him awhile before he's back to being himself, but I don't doubt that you two can get through this. Talk to each other. Don't shut him out because you think he's been through enough already and don't want to add to it. Not talking is only going to make it harder."

"He's beating himself up so badly over this...I just...I don't know what else I can say to him to make him understand..."

"I know. He'll come to understand it in his own time. And it will take some time, Sydney. He'll make sense of it and understand why it's not his fault. You can tell him it's not his fault all you want, but he won't accept it until he believes it. Just keep reassuring him that you're here for him."

"What if it happens again?"

"I can't promise that it won't, but I don't think it will. If it does, you both know how to deal with it better, you know what happened."

"Is there something else I can do for him when he has a nightmare?"

"Just talk him through it, hold him, let him talk about it."

"What if he's not real...forthcoming?"

"He might not be, but just let him know that you're there and you'll listen to him. Give him time too. He might need to analyze his nightmare himself before he shares it with you."

"I just wish I could do more – but I guess most of the time he has to do a lot of it on his own..."

"Yeah, he does. You do a lot for him already Sydney. He'll tell you when he's ready. Just keep doing what you've been doing."

"You do a lot for him too...Thank you...for everything Dr. Barnett." She smiled and looked at her awkwardly for a moment and then stood and hugged her.

Barnett accepted the hug and hugged her back and when they parted, Barnett smiled knowingly. "You can call me anytime if you need someone to talk to."

"Thank you, I will."

"Goodbye Sydney."

"Goodbye Dr. Barnett."


	184. Necessary Discourse

**Chapter 184: Necessary Discourse **

_"Necessity knows no law." – St. Augustine _

"And throughout all Eternity, I forgive you, you forgive me." – William Blake

"Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one." – Eliaius von Münch-Bellinghausen

"All your strength is in your union, All your danger is in discord." – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Gentleness corrects whatever is offensive in our manner." – Hugh Blair

**

* * *

**

Sydney stood in the living room for a few more minutes, analyzing what Barnett had said, and then slowly walked back to the bedroom.

Vaughn looked up at her when she entered, "Hey."

"Hi," she replied and went to sit on the edge of the bed.

They settled into a restless silence, both having things to say, but neither knowing how or where to begin. Sydney just looked off at the chair, at the wall, at the nightstand, thinking about how she could start.

Vaughn looked down at the comforter, his brow furrowed in thought. Sydney risked a glance over at him, smiling at the way his forehead always cringed into that familiar position when he was lost in reflection and contemplation.

He looked up at her, catching her glance and smiled softly, the creases smoothing for a minute as he gazed at her. Then the contemplative face was back, "Syd…I really need to know what you're thinking…and I need you to be honest with me," he said, the fingers of his right hand nervously playing with the comforter.

"Well…I'm thinking that until you realize that it's not your fault, there isn't much I can say that I haven't already said. So, I'll just keep telling you that," she reasoned, "Until you figure it out and accept it for yourself…and I'm going to be supportive, and loving, and I'm not going to let you beat yourself up forever, because I love you too much for that."

Vaughn smiled at her analysis and then turned serious again, "Do you feel responsible?"

She turned so she was sitting, facing him on the bed. She looked down and then up at him, "There was a part of me that wondered if it was something I did, but–"

"You didn't do anything…"

"Let me finish…" she said, "I know it wasn't my fault either, but I kept thinking about what I could have done…if I had done this, would you have reacted differently. If I had said this, would you have stopped…I just didn't understand…but I knew that it wasn't your fault…and I knew that I didn't blame you. There wasn't anything either one of us could have done to prevent it. And once it happened, we both did what we could to help the situation."

"I didn't help the situation…"

"You stopped…"

"Yeah, but would I have? Would I have if you wouldn't have stopped me?"

"You're doing what I was doing – you're trying to think of what might have happened 'IF.' You'll drive yourself insane if you keep thinking in 'ifs.'"

"Barnett told me that too…I get it, I do…torture doesn't affect you conveniently…but…it affected me…I mean – I always feel safe inside you – it really bothers me – even if I didn't 'let' them in, that they invaded my mind while we were making love. When I stopped, I don't think I've ever been that scared…" he stopped taking a deep breath, "and while I get that I wasn't conscious of what I was doing, that thought scares me too…" he stopped but then started again, rambling, "Barnett went through all these things I can do if it happens again, and I'm trying to take all that in, mental notes, but I keep thinking, again? If it happens again? And she's talking about reacting to the anger and accepting I'm upset and fixing it, and I'm still trying to figure out after my whole life that I don't know this anymore…it's like now I can't even perform a simple emotion – I can't just get angry – it's changed everything…and I'm taking it out on you because I don't understand it and that just makes me angrier and I'm not even in control of my emotions…and now I have to relearn everything…relearn how to deal with anger! It's like I'm five! And everyone tells me it's gonna get easier and I'm just waiting for that moment to start…I feel like I'm not in control of myself…" he stopped suddenly, realizing that he was completely digressing, "Sorry," he said bashfully.

"No baby…you can tell me anything…I think that was good for you," she said with a smile.

"I think the thing that confuses me the most is why you want to be here…"

"Would you be here with me if it was the other way around?"

"Of course," Vaughn said without any hesitation.

"Well, then why is it so hard for you to understand? Would you blame me?"

"No."

"K, well…again – why is it hard for you to understand?"

"Because it's me…"

"You once told me I was the hardest on myself…we share that quality…"

Vaughn smiled and sighed, "I guess…it's just…I doubt I'm ever going to forgive myself…"

"Well, I've already forgiven you…so that should make some progress with forgiving yourself."

"Have you really?"

"Yes, Vaughn. I was scared, I didn't understand; I do now. It's not your fault; it's not my fault. Nobody 'did' this…it just happened. Now we move on."

Vaughn nodded, "You realize I'm not going to for a while though…"

Sydney smiled, "Yes, I realize this…"

She moved up to sit closer to him on the bed and kissed him softly, "That doesn't mean I won't keep telling you."

"Please keep telling me…"

"I will, don't worry…" Sydney said as she planted several more soft kisses on his delicious lips. "So…what do five year olds do for fun?"

Vaughn chuckled, "I'm not sure, I haven't been five in a while…"

"Hmm…well…let's see," she said, clearly thinking, "I have an idea…"

"You do…what's that?"

"It's a surprise…"

"Ok…" he said, a knowing smile on his face.

"Want me to spoil you?"

He chuckled, "Sure."

"Well…we're going to have some adult fun…fun that five year olds don't know about…"

"Mmmhmm…" he said, as she moved to straddle him on the bed.

She leaned over him and began a symphony of kisses, intensifying slowly, but gently, with languid kisses and soft touches. Sydney ran her hand up and down Vaughn's chest in a soothing manner as her lips kept his captivated.

Their tongues dueled gently; soft moans and the familiar sounds of their lips pressing together filled the room. Sydney inched her hand down to the bottom of Vaughn's shirt, pulling the fabric upward slowly.

He pulled out of her kiss and gently grabbed her hand, "Syd…I…I don't think this is such a good idea…"

"Relax baby…we did this last night."

"Yeah…but I don't want to hurt you…" he said softly.

"You're not gonna hurt me…we'll take it slow…" she assured him, smiling.

He gave her a shaky smile and nodded.

"I'm going to take your shirt off now, ok?"

"Yeah…ok."

She smiled sweetly and kissed him again, spending a few minutes making him lose himself and relax in the kisses, running her hands over his chest and under his shirt. She pulled him towards her, sitting him up, and gently pulled the shirt over his head before reclining him back again.

She gave him a mischievous smile and then removed her own shirt quickly, her bra following, as she sat on his lap.

He looked down at her breasts, laid bare for him, so inviting and tempting. He looked up at her, as if asking permission.

"It's ok…go ahead honey," she said, leaning forward more to give him easier access.

He looked at her unsurely, so she smiled and took his hands, careful of his shoulder and molded his hands under hers over her breasts. She squeezed with him gently, his gaze alternating from her eyes to where their collective hands covered her breasts.

"See baby? You're not hurting me…"

He smiled and relaxed his head against the headboard, content just to be touching her.

She let go of his hands and trailed her own up and down his chest in broad strokes, flicking the nipples on every other trail she made.

His head pressed back further and his eyes slipped closed as she continued her assault on his body. His hands didn't waver much from their original pattern, but that didn't bother Sydney, she was just happy that he seemed to be doing all right with the level of foreplay that they had already reached.

She let him get more comfortable with what they were doing before bending over and starting another round of kissing. He eagerly accepted her wet kisses, both of their hands still occupied on each other's chests.

Sydney pulled back slightly and looked down at him, "I'm going to take your boxers off now…" she told him.

His hands left her breasts and he became immediately uneasy. He started to shake his head, "No…Sydney…no…I can't…"

"Honey," she said, cupping his cheek and them moving her hands so both were on his cheeks, "Just relax…we do this all the time…"

He nodded, "I know…but…"

"No, honey," she said, forcing him to look her in the eyes, "There's no 'but,' there's nothing to be afraid of. I trust you…just relax…" she accented with a kiss.

She could tell he was still scared and uneasy, but she started to move towards his boxers anyway, a wet path of kisses following her as she made her way down. Once she was sitting between his legs, she gently pried at the waistband of his boxers, and then slowly and carefully pulled them down. She threw them aside and then discarded the rest of her own clothes as well. She crawled back up to him, and replanted herself on his lap.

She could see he was visibly tense, his body more rigid than it usually was, and not in a good way. "Just relax honey, we'll go slow…take our time…it's ok…" she ran her hands up and down his chest, and dipped her head down to kiss the spots that her hands had just traced over.

She leaned down again, pressing herself against him, her breasts crushed against his warm chest. She kissed his neck, all around his jaw line and ended up back at his mouth, sucking his lower lip into her mouth and nipping playfully before her tongue reentered his mouth and their soft dueling started again.

Sydney moved her hands lower, past his chest, on her way to his rising erection, but when he realized where she intended to go, he stopped her, "Syd…please…I just…I can't do this…"

Sydney stopped her movement and brought her hands back to his chest, "Vaughn…there's nothing to worry about…" she searched his face, "Look, I'm not gonna force you…if you want to stop…we'll stop…but I think you should give us a chance…"


	185. By My Side

**Chapter 185: By My Side **

_"Fear secretes acids; but love and trust are sweet juices." – Henry Ward Beecher _

"The lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house as a guest, and then becomes a host, and then a master." – Kahlil Gibran

"To be in love Is to touch with a lighter hand. In yourself you stretch, you are well." – Gwendolyn Brooks

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart." – Helen Keller

"There is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness." – Han Suyin

"Gentleness is the antidote for cruelty." – Phaedrus

**

* * *

**

He sighed heavily and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry…I just…"

"Don't apologize…we'll keep going – if at any time you feel uncomfortable, you tell me…and we'll stop, k?"

He nodded.

"Just remember, I'm here…you're safe…and there's nothing between us…just us…skin to skin – remember?"

Vaughn shuddered as her words from his nightmare began to echo again, "No…nonononononono…I can't…"

Sydney looked at him strangely as he started to squirm, desperate to get away. "Vaughn? Baby…what happened?"

"I can't…I can't…" he said, a chorus forming quickly as his breath escalated and his voice began to shake.

"Honey…" she realized it must have been something with the nightmare, "Vaughn…what…did that happen in your dream?"

He nodded wildly, "I'm sorry…I'm sorry Syd…I'm sorry…" a new chorus broke out, interspersed with the other.

"Sshhh…Vaughn…just relax…take it easy baby," she said in soft, soothing tones, trying to get him to calm down. She thought a moment, "C'mere…" she said, grabbing onto him and pulling him down with her to lie on the bed. She turned on her side and indicated that he should do the same.

He did as she asked, lying on his right side, facing Sydney.

"Listen," she started, keeping her voice calm and even, "We're just gonna lay here for a while…just relax…then we'll see what happens…right now, I just want you to calm down," she said running one hand over his chest and the other through his hair. "I know you're scared…but there's nothing to worry about…that dream wasn't real…and even though I know it seemed real, I didn't say that in the dream – not really – I said it to you…in love…ok?"

He nodded, listening intently, his eyes moist, his breathing still elevated.

"Whenever you get scared, or you just need to know I'm here…you look right here," Sydney told him, pointing to her eyes, "And then everything will be ok…"

He nodded, letting his eyes fall closed for a moment as he snuggled into her embrace, his head buried in her neck, just letting her hold him.

She kept a hand on the back of his neck, the other making broad strokes up and down his back. She could feel his breathing even out, the warm vapor spreading over her skin as he inhaled and exhaled.

Then, making sure to keep her movements calm and collected, she gently eased away from him.

He looked at her, and she smiled, "Remember," she said, kissing him gently, "Always look at my eyes…k?"

He nodded.

"Ok…" she said with a more pronounced smile, "Why don't we get back to this kissing thing we had going on…"

Vaughn smiled, "Yeah, I like that idea."

"Good…" Sydney moved closer, her mouth millimeters from his, their eyes locked and fixated on each other until the second their lips met. Then, all vision ceased as they lost themselves in each other, sparks flying before each of their closed eyes, as their passion ignited in those first gentle kisses. Sydney pushed her tongue past Vaughn's lips, running it over his teeth before it coiled with his.

She smiled in victory when she heard the first groan escape from deep in his chest. She broke the kiss to flutter kisses all over his face and neck, his head arching backward away from her as the sensations worked their way inevitably to his cock.

Sydney loved foreplay, and in a way, she was glad that they got to spend this much time just being together, kissing and touching intimately before they got into the more 'connected' ways of sexual union.

She eventually let her hands start to wander, rubbing his abs, flicking his nipples, sucking on his neck. He started to get more responsive, more moans and sighs, but he largely kept his actions to just kissing. He didn't move his hands, didn't attempt to touch her.

Sydney knew why, he was afraid he'd hurt her again, but he needed to know it was ok to touch her. She kept kissing him, but brought her hands to his and at first just coiled their hands together. Then she moved his right to her breast and his left to her hip. He started to flex his fingers, the one keeping a steady rhythm on her breast, his thumb joining in to tease her nipple, much to Sydney's liking, while his left kept a similar but slower, more tense rhythm.

Sydney let her hands begin to roam again, over his arms; making goose bumps rise and making him shiver in titillation. She progressed to his hands, kneading with him, before running her hands over his chest and neck again, attaching her mouth to his in a breathless kiss.

She stopped for a moment, just watching his face, a peace and calm that was not present last night slowly edging on his face. She moved her hands up to his face, running her fingers over his forehead and down his nose to the cleft of his chin. He opened his eyes and looked at her, her smile inviting and warm. She moved outward to his ears, tracing them and running a tickling finger around the back, making him chuckle. Once she left his ears, she ran her hand through his hair, and smiled once again, knowing that any other night; they'd be well on their way to climax by now. Taking it slow was more peaceful, more intimate and that was what they both needed tonight.

She let her hands drop to his shoulders, slowly and gently massaging, careful not to press too hard on his left shoulder, and she smiled as she raked her nails over his tattoo, making him groan and shiver again and watching as the pleasure and peace rolled over his features.

His hair was a mess by the time she was done with it, haphazardly sticking out every which way. She leaned over and kissed him again and then, saying quietly, "Vaughn…" she waited until his eyes opened and focused on hers.

"Keep looking at me now…" she said.

He kept his eyes trained on hers, brown and green locked, and as he felt her hands move around his back, down to caress and knead his ass, he knew why. She spent a few minutes letting him get comfortable to her touch below the waist, kissing him intermittently while she kept up her gentle caresses over his body.

She let her fingers slowly and carefully meander down to his thighs, making gentle and almost phantomlike touches to his skin. He shuddered in response to her actions, his erection becoming fully engorged. Sydney could feel it pressed between them, rising to full erectness in reaction to their lengthy foreplay.

She made sure he was looking at her and then slowly wrapped her hand around him. He let out a shocked, yet pleasurable hiss in response, his body getting slightly more tense than it had been.

"It's ok," Sydney reminded him, keeping eye contact, "Just feel…"

Vaughn nodded, and tried to relax, as he felt Sydney's fingers gently fondling his cock before she moved her hand down and gently rolled his balls between her fingers. Her touch never got insistent or rough, just a relaxing motion, and before long, he realized he was thrusting his hips in time with her movements. They shared a smile as Sydney acknowledged his awareness and she kissed him lightly, gripping his cock and starting to move faster, but not harder over his shaft. She let her thumb roll over the tip, spreading the moisture beads around the head and then moving to put gentle pressure on the spot right below the head.

Her other hand danced around his body, his chest, his face, his back; everywhere she could reach. Her tongue danced with his, their eyes only closing when the intensity of the kiss became too much to keep their eyes open.

His cock was straining, his body more than ready, but Sydney knew that he would not initiate anything unless she either told him it was ok or did it herself. She leaned back from the kisses, her hand still gently alternating between stroking and pulling on his shaft and massaging his balls. She smiled as she traced his face with her other hand and carefully put her right leg over his hip.

He just looked at her, slightly confused, questioning, and she answered softly, "Do you trust me?"

Vaughn smiled and answered instantly, "Yes…always…with my life…with everything…"

"Good…" she said, and after one more searing kiss, she moved his left hand to her center. "Feel me…" she said.

He looked at her unsurely, "Syd…I…"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"I trust you too…now feel me…it's ok…" she said, her hand cupping his cheek again.

He smiled nervously, and let her guide his hand. Feeling came more slowly to that hand, since it sustained more damage than the other, but there was no way he couldn't feel the wetness that was between Sydney's legs. It was literally overflowing; the second she placed one of his fingers inside her, most of the other digits were well coated as well. He groaned at her heat, her moisture, spilling out onto his hand. He moved them slowly, carefully, like she was glass, so fragile that he had to be especially cautious with her. She smiled, understanding his need to be gentle, being wary of hurting her, still insecure about the previous night's events.

He picked up a somewhat shaky and timid tempo, hindered also by the lack of dexterity in his still healing fingers. Sydney could have cared less; the feelings were still incredible, his thumb gently pressing against her clit, fire erupting and spreading outward at an alarming rate. She let him continue for a few more minutes, letting him get comfortable with touching her again, and then kissed him and moved his hand away, settling it back on her hip. He searched her face for an answer to why she moved his hand away, but she quickly answered it when he felt her hand wrap around his hard length again.

"I think it's just about time you get inside me…before this becomes a water bed."

He chuckled, but when she started to move closer to him, he got tense again, "Syd…I…"

She tilted his head up to look at her, "What did I tell you?"

"Look in your eyes…"

"Right…I love you Michael."

Vaughn sighed contentedly, "I love you Syd…"

He kept his eyes on hers, letting his head rest on the pillow and letting her slowly guide him to her wet core. When the tip of his cock met with the moisture, he instinctually thrust his hips forward, his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation, but then something hit him and he opened them again, looking fearfully at her again. She smiled softly and pressed her lips to his, "It's ok to thrust…" she said, knowing what he was thinking.

He nodded, but he let her resume control, fighting the urge to bury himself inside her. He let out a long moan as the head of his cock slipped just inside her core. Heat, wetness and comfort assaulted his senses as Sydney slowly helped him penetrate her. "Sydney…" her name rippled, the syllables drawn out as he sank into her fully.

Sydney let out her own groan, his name falling out of her mouth in a similar fashion as she felt him stretch her walls, his girth and length always making her accommodate him, making her walls pulse and throb in a sweet agony as they adjusted to him.

They started a rather clumsy thrusting pattern, the angles and positions of their bodies not allowing for a very deep penetration, but pleasing nonetheless. However, the more they moved, the more Sydney could see that it was difficult for Vaughn, the strange way their bodies had to contort to connect, taxing on his ribs and all his other injuries.

She knew he'd protest, but she also knew what they needed to do, what he needed to do. She cupped his cheek, "Michael…"

He looked at her, "Yeah?" he asked breathlessly.

"I think this position…is a little straining…we need to change…"

"Ok."

"And you need to be on top…"


	186. A New Beginning

**Chapter 186: A New Beginning **

_"The eyes see only what the mind is prepared to comprehend." – Robertson Davies _

"Of all the senses, sight must be the most delightful." – Helen Keller

"Tenderness is the rest of passion." – Joseph Joubert

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart." – Saint Jerome

"When our eyes see our hands doing the work of our hearts, the circle of Creation is completed inside us, the doors of our souls fly open, and love steps forth to heal everything in sight." – Michael Bridge

**

* * *

**

He stopped thrusting instantly, "No…Sydney…I can't…not…no…" he said, shaking his head and starting to move away from her.

She locked her legs around his, not letting him go, "Relax baby…it's ok…take it easy…look at me…"

She made sure he was looking at her before she continued, "What do you see when you look in my eyes?"

Vaughn thought a moment as he stared into the windows of her soul, "Love…passion…acceptance…patience…bliss…" he stopped, smiling widely, "my children…"

She beamed at him, "Yeah, what else?"

"Oblivion…my whole world…"

"And what don't you see?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you see fear?"

"No."

"Anger?"

"No."

"Blame?"

"No."

"Forgiveness?"

"Yes."

"Ok then…I'm going to roll us…you just stay relaxed, keep your eyes on mine…ok?"

There was a pause.

"Vaughn? You ok?"

He nodded shortly.

She gripped his hips and slowly rolled on her back, taking him with her.

"Just relax…we're just gonna lay for awhile…ok?"

"Yeah…"

"Can you just lay with me?"

"Yeah, I can do that…"

She smiled and kissed him before pulling him down to rest on her chest. She held onto him, running her hands over his head and back as he lay still, just resting inside her warmth.

After she knew he was calm, she tilted her hips slightly, sending him deeper inside her. He couldn't help the groan the erupted as he felt himself slip so far into Sydney's core. His cock was throbbing, aching with need, Sydney's own pulsating center only serving to make him more aroused, harder.

She managed to keep him moving in and out of her with small movements from her hips, but eventually, she whispered in his ear, "You can move honey…it's ok…you're not gonna hurt me…"

He pressed a gentle kiss into her neck and slowly pushed himself up, trying to keep most of his weight on his right arm while still trying to keep balance.

"Go ahead baby," she encouraged.

He threw his head back and thrust inside her, pulling all the way out and slowly and deliciously sinking back into her heat, making her walls shudder from the slow pleasure. He looked down at her face, and suddenly, it all started flashing back…his hand on her wrist, holding her down, his erratic and powerful thrusts, making her cry out, the look of fear in her eyes when he realized what he was doing.

"I can't do this Sydney," he said, tears springing to his eyes.

Sydney had been lost in a haze of delirious pleasure, when she realized that he had stopped, "Vaughn…honey…I'm ok…"

"I can't…I just see…I can't…" he said, starting to pull out of her.

"No Michael," she said gently, her hands framing his face, her legs moving to hold him inside her, "Honey, it feels so damn good when you're on top…I know it feels good for you too…just give yourself a break. This is an entirely different situation, you're doing fine…I'm fine…you're not hurting me. Try to relax…"

Vaughn shook his head, "I can't…I don't want to hurt you again…"

"You're not gong to – we're making love…" an idea flashed in her mind, "Just like The Pier baby…"

He looked down at her, slightly surprised, "The Pier…"

"Yeah…remember what you told me? And when I suggested?"

He smiled, "Yeah…I remember…"

"Ok…well what did we do there?"

"We were on the beach…we made love in the sand…"

"Right…who was on top?"

"I was."

"Right," she said, tilting her hips and sending him deeply into her again, "What else, tell me about it…"

"We were walking in the sand and then we fell to the sand and started to kiss…then we made love…"

"Where was the water?"

"All around us…"

"We were in the water?"

"Yeah…"

"How did that feel?"

"Amazing…the rush of the water hitting us from behind, the soft sand under us…"

Sydney smiled, "What are you doing now?" she asked, their eyes still locked.

"What do you mean?"

"Look down," she said, her own eyes traveling down to where they were joined, "You've been thrusting for the past few minutes."

Vaughn stopped, dumbfounded, "How did you do that?"

Sydney smiled, "I didn't…you did."

"Did I?" he asked, a smile breaking out.

"Yeah…you did baby…" she pulled him down to kiss her, "Start again…you're doing great…"

Vaughn smiled back at her and continued to kiss her while he thrust. He did it slower and gentler than he had in the past, but he needed to acclimate himself again before he was going to be back to 'normal.'

He looked down again, watching himself slide in and out of her wet core. Suddenly, something caught his eye. He slowed even more, "Sydney?"

She looked up at him, meeting his eyes, "What honey?"

He smiled, "What is this?" he asked, looking down to her curls.

"That would be show and tell Vaughn…"

"Mmmhmm…is that a heart?"

"Yes it is…do you like it?" she asked seductively, running her hand over his chest and stubbly face.

"Yeah…I love it…it's perfect…" he said, his eyes slipping closed as he pushed himself in her at a slightly faster rate, "The heart's desire…"

She giggled, "Yes, that's true…among other things."

"Didn't that hurt?"

"Like hell…but it was worth it to see the look on your face," she said with a smile, pulling him down to her mouth.

With all the foreplay that they had built up, Sydney couldn't have thought of a better way to finish. His rate was languid, taking his time; a perfect way to end their gentle lovemaking. She could see that he was close, his body tensing, his balls moving closer to his body. She was so ready; she was convinced that she could have come at will, anytime she wanted. He kept hitting deep and sensitive spots inside her. She mused that every time they made love, it seemed he could find or hit a new spot.

"God Vaughn…uhnnnn…"

He smiled and changed angles again and Sydney purred as he repeatedly hit a spot right at the back wall.

"Vaughn…I'm so close…"

"Me too…"

Sydney pushed her hips against him one more time, the delightful ache spreading through her as her orgasm tore through her body, letting go of hours worth of tension. Vaughn followed quickly, his body lurching into her as the force of his release pushed its way through his body. Spurt after spurt of hot seed splashed into Sydney, his orgasm triggering another one of her own as she felt the head erupt deep inside her.

It felt like hours before they stopped; Vaughn's body continuously convulsed with his huge climax, Sydney's body accepted it all, joining with her own mind-blowing release.

Vaughn let his body fall on top of Sydney's, his shoulder crying out for relief from the position it had been held in. Sydney wrapped her legs around him and kept him deep inside her, mumbling soft words and exchanging 'I love you's' with him as they started a gentle round of post-coital kissing.

Sydney ran her hand through Vaughn's damp hair, his length still trembling as aftershocks forced their way to the surface, making him shudder every few moments.

"I love you," she said, looking up at him.

"I love you too…thank you…again…I would be lost without you…you have more faith in me than I do in myself."

"That's my job…" she smiled.

"How did you get me to do that?"

"The thrusting?"

"Yeah."

"I told you – you just started – it's just like riding a bike baby…"

He chuckled, "That was masterful."

"Thank you, but you did it."

"Not without your help."

She smiled, "You ok?"

"Yeah…I think my shoulder has officially had it now…but…yeah…I'm ok." Vaughn let out a long yawn.

Sydney chuckled, "Why don't you take a nap baby…" she looked at the clock and smiled, "Know what?"

"What?" Vaughn said through another yawn.

"We've spent…like almost three hours right here…"

Vaughn craned his neck and looked at the clock. Sydney could see the wince as he did.

"Wow…" he turned to her, "It was really nice though."

Sydney smiled, "Yeah it was…you in a lot of pain now?"

"Nah…it's not bad…"

She started him down, "Liar."

He grinned, "I must be a really bad one, huh?"

"No, you're pretty good at it, just not with me."

"Yeah…I suppose that's good…unless I want to lie to you…"

Sydney grabbed his chin and pulled him over for a kiss, "Why would you lie to me?"

He smiled, "I wouldn't…"

"Good…"

"Unless it was to protect you…"

"But then of course, I'd know you were lying, so you'd have to tell me anyway…"

"This is true."

"Ok, you nap, I'm gonna get dressed again and go scout out dinner, since I have no clue what Will and Francie are doing," she paused, "Whatever it is, I'm glad they didn't come home yet, otherwise…" she looked at him with a raised brow as she extricated herself from the warm bed.

"Well you could have bolted to the door and slammed it shut, I'm sure they'd get the idea…"

Sydney laughed, "Yeah, that'd do the trick…really…they must be working late, it's almost six." She thought a moment, "Huh…well you nap, I'll start dinner…"

"Ok," he said with another yawn. She bent down, finishing the buttons on her shirt, and kissed him before she walked out of the bedroom.


	187. The Tardy Couple

**Chapter 187: The Tardy Couple **

_"Better late than never." – Titus Livius _

"Ah! the clock is always slow; It is later than you think." – Robert Service

"Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it." – Cicero

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go...And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." – Gloria Naylor

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities." – William Arthur Ward

**

* * *

**

Sydney looked in the refrigerator and then in the pantry, trying to figure out what to make for dinner. After rummaging a while, she decided to make meatloaf. It wouldn't be done until around 8:30, but since neither Will nor Francie was home yet and Vaughn was napping, she figured she'd have more than enough time to get it all ready. She put it in the oven and got out the box of mashed potatoes for later, as well as a can of corn. Then she walked back to the bedroom to check on Vaughn.

She watched him on the bed for a few seconds, and was about to turn and leave when she heard him say in a sleepy voice, "Lay with me…"

She smiled and lay down with him on the bed, a drowsy smile playing on his face. She ran her hand over his scruffy cheek and kissed him before moving her hand up to his hair, running it through the soft strands and sending him into sleep within a few minutes.

She stayed at his side until she heard the front door open. Quietly leaving the bed, careful not to wake him, she padded out of the bedroom and closed the door softly.

"Shh…" she said as her friends closed the door and began to shed their coats.

Will looked over at her, "Hey…what's up?" he asked slightly concerned.

"Vaughn's napping…I don't want to wake him up," she explained.

"He ok?" Will asked.

"Something happen?" Francie added.

Sydney smiled, "Yeah, well…yeah…" she turned and walked over to the oven, checking the meatloaf.

"You're making dinner?" Francie asked.

"Yeah, well you're late," Sydney said with a wink.

Francie laughed, "We got a little…sidetracked…"

Will beamed, "Yeah…"

Sydney turned to regard the two, "Where?"

Will stammered, "Uh…I was working on…a file…"

"Yeah, and I was…cleaning up…"

"Mmmhmm…" Sydney said, "You two were totally off somewhere getting it on."

Francie smiled, "Well…maybe…in the back room quickly…after Will got there to pick me up…"

"Yeah," Will said, "Or…in the supply room…"

"Yeah, or the walk-in freezer…" Francie said to him.

"Right, but that was kinda cold…"

"Yeah, it was."

Sydney watched the exchange between her friends with amusement, "All those places huh? Explains why it took you two hours to get home…dinner's gonna be about another hour or so."

"What'cha makin?" Will asked.

"Meatloaf."

"Cool, meatloaf's good."

Francie looked to Sydney, "So what happened today? Something with therapy?"

"No, not really…that actually helped him."

"So, what then?" Will asked.

"Um…I'm going to say this, and I'm really sorry…so don't take it the wrong way…but in this case, I really don't think I'm going to tell you. First, it's not my place, and second, I'm not sure he'd want you to know and he's already beating himself up about it more than he should…so…please understand why I'm not going to tell you."

Will looked to Francie and then back to Sydney, "That's cool," he said with a nod. "He ok though?"

"Yeah, better."

"Good," he said, moving to the refrigerator and grabbing a beer, "So whatdya wanna do tonight?"

"I don't know…"

"It's Friday night…we could stay up late," Will said with a boyish smile and a gleam in his eye.

Sydney chuckled, "Yeah, we could, but I think Vaughn would crash long before it's late. He didn't get much sleep last night."

Francie shot Will a look, "It was probably all that shit you guys ate last night…"

Sydney smiled, "No, I don't think that was it."

Will pretended he didn't hear Francie's comment, "Well, we could watch a movie…we could…hmm…"

Sydney smiled, "We could 'hmm?'"

Will chuckled, "Well, it's kinda hard to plan when we can't leave the house…can't go bowling, can't go to a game…that kinda thing."

"Yeah, I know…you guys can go out," Sydney said.

Will looked to Francie, "No…we wanna hang out with you guys, we already talked about it on the way over."

"Well, then I'm afraid you'll have to settle for the indoor entertainment."

Will chuckled, "We'll come up with something fun. I'm gonna take Donovan for a walk before dinner," Will announced, setting his beer on the counter.

Sydney smacked her forehead, "Will…seriously, if you didn't take care of that dog…I don't know who would. I'm so glad you seem to remember, because really, with all the shit that goes on, sometimes I think Vaughn and I forget he's here. He's gonna know you better than he does Vaughn pretty soon."

"Nah, he loves Mike, I'm just an ok substitute," he said with a smile, grabbing the leash from the hook by the door and walking out the patio door to get the dog. Donovan trotted over to him happily, his tongue lolling out and his tail wagging, clearly happy to be going for a walk.

Will waved and went out the back way, through the fence.

Francie smiled as she watched Will and the dog go out of her line of view. "So, you really ok?" she asked.

Sydney sighed, "Yeah, I'm ok…we're doing alright."

"You gonna tell me what happened? Just girl talk?"

Sydney smiled, "Mmm…only if you don't say anything to Vaughn."

"Ok…I won't."

"I'm serious…you have to promise."

"Ok, now you're scaring me…"

"Just promise me or I won't tell you."

"Ok, I promise," Francie said.

Sydney sighed, "Ok…Vaughn had a nightmare last night. He woke up; he was disoriented. We did what we normally do, which is make love. So, everything's going fine, he rolls us over–"

"Can he do that?"

Sydney chuckled, "If he's careful. He's only done it recently, because he's getting a little better, but his shoulder isn't liking it too much."

"Ok, sorry."

"No, it's ok…so he's on top. And I realized that he wasn't really there with me. He was physically, but his mind was obviously somewhere else." Sydney paused, trying to figure out the best way to say this. "So, I reached up, tried to get him to look at me, and he just reacted instinctively, because he had no idea what he was doing…and he held my arm down…and he got a little…rough."

"He what?" Francie blurted.

"No, just let me finish…please…"

Francie nodded, but her brow was furrowed in an unhappy manner.

"I knew that he didn't realize what he was doing…and because his other shoulder was needed for balance, I reached up again, and then I finally got him to look at me…" She stopped, shaking her head, "The look on his face when he realized…he had no clue…and it just…completely destroyed him."

"Him?! What about you?! Are you ok?"

"Francie, yeah, I'm ok…please – this wasn't his fault. He was still lost in the nightmare and he didn't know how to handle it. He had no idea he was even being rough. And yeah, it was scary…I was scared, but watching his reaction, I knew it wasn't his fault, right away…"

"Why didn't you just like kick him off the bed?"

Sydney looked at Francie with a disapproving glance, "Because one, that would have hurt him. And two, that wouldn't have solved the problem – and it probably would have made him feel worse. Or three, it could have provoked him, made him think he was in the nightmare and then who knows what would have happened. He's beating himself up about it so badly, and he wouldn't sleep then, the whole rest of the night."

"Sydney…Are you sure he should be here? I mean is he dangerous?"

Sydney shook her head, "No he's not dangerous; it was just the first time something like this happened. We both know how to handle it now if it happens again. It wasn't his fault; it wasn't anyone's fault. He has no control over what he dreams. Sloane and Sark – they did this to him. And no way in hell am I gonna take that out on him. He's not to blame…"

"But Sydney…I mean – he hurt you."

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you about this. I think it was a bad idea."

"Well I mean come on – how am I supposed to react?"

"You're supposed to be understanding and listen to me…What if it was Will? Would you blame him if it were Will? If he had been through everything Vaughn's been through?"

Francie thought a moment; "I don't know…probably not."

"Exactly. Because it wouldn't be Will's fault either." She turned towards the oven again, checking the meatloaf. Then she looked back at Francie as she started to get the mashed potatoes and corn ready. "If I knew this was the way you'd react, I wouldn't have told you…I'm sorry…"

Francie looked at her and took the box of mashed potatoes, helping her get it ready, "No…I was just shocked. You can talk to me about anything. I just; I don't want you hurt. I didn't react well. I don't know as much as you do about what happened to him and what's normal for someone who's dealing with it. I'm sorry. You forgive me?"

Sydney looked over and smiled, "Yeah…I'm sorry too, I get a little defensive when it comes to him…"

Francie smiled back, "Well, I wouldn't expect it any other way."

"Love is strange that way."

"Yes it is." They worked next to each other for a minute before the turned simultaneously and hugged. Then Francie smiled and said, "I'll do this…you should go start to wake him up…"

Sydney smiled, "Ok…"


	188. Guy Talk

**Chapter 188: Guy Talk **

_"The secret to friendship is being a good listener." – Unknown _

"Many can argue, not many converse." – A. Bronson Alcott

"Discourse, the sweeter banquet of the mind." – Homer

"The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand." – Frank Herbert

**

* * *

**

She walked off the bedroom and tentatively opened the door. Vaughn was still sleeping and she was happy to see that he looked peaceful. She sat down on the bed and rested her hand on his chest, waking him like she usually did, "Vaughn…dinner's gonna be ready soon…"

He yawned and slowly opened his eyes, "Hey."

"Hi," she said, leaning down to kiss him. "I'm gonna get some clothes for you, ok?"

He nodded and yawned some more, rubbing the sleep out of his eye.

Sydney came back to him and started to dress him. "Vaughn…"

He looked up at her, "Yeah?"

She looked him in the eyes, "Francie knows…"

He looked up at her confused for a minute, "Ok…"

She searched his eyes, "You ok with that? You're not mad are you?"

"No, it's ok…you need to talk to someone too…does she hate me now?"

Sydney put his shirt on and then bent down and cupped his cheek, "No baby…she understands…"

"It's gonna be awkward now…"

"Maybe a little…but we'll figure it out…ok?"

"Yeah, ok…" he let out a sigh.

She smiled and kissed him before helping him sit back on the bed. She was still fixing his pillows when Donovan came bounding in the room, barking loudly.

"Hey buddy!" Vaughn said cheerfully as the little dog jumped up on the bed and started to lick Vaughn's face. "I missed you too…" he said with a smile, the dog's tail in a frenzy as his master bathed him with attention.

Sydney chuckled and smiled at Will as he came in the room.

"Thanks Will," Vaughn said.

"Sure, he's a great dog."

"Yeah he is…aren't ya?" he asked.

Donovan answered with a resounding bark.

Sydney looked at Will, "I'm gonna go see how Francie's doing on dinner, help out…"

Will nodded, "Ok," he said sitting down in the chair next to the bed. He watched as Vaughn and the dog interacted, "How long have you had him?" he asked.

"A little over five years…"

"How was therapy today?"

Vaughn thought a moment, "Productive?"

Will smiled, "Is that a question?"

"Might be," Vaughn said with a smile.

Will's smile turned mischievous; "Break any chairs today? Cause I had sex in a walk-in freezer," he said proudly.

Vaughn smiled and looked at him, "Good for you…and no, no chairs today."

Will watched Vaughn for a few moments, that wasn't the usual way that their sexual banter went. "You ok?"

Vaughn looked over and sighed, "I might as well just tell you…you'll find out anyway."

"Tell me what?"

"What I did…"

"I'm lost – what did you do?"

"I had a nightmare last night, and–"

"You ok?"

"Yeah…well, not then…but now I'm getting there…"

"Ok…so you had a nightmare…that's what's wrong?"

"No…that's only part of it. When I have a nightmare, usually Sydney helps me by making love to me…so she did…and we were…and I got rough with her…" Vaughn said, looking over at Will.

He looked down and then back at Vaughn, "Is she ok?"

"Yeah, physically…and emotionally…she's getting there…"

"Are you ok?"

Vaughn smiled, "No."

"But…it was because of your nightmare right? I mean – you'd never hurt Sydney intentionally."

Vaughn chuckled, "That's what everyone says…"

"Well, it's true man…I know that – you know it too – so it must have been something else…doesn't sound to me like you had much control over it."

"But don't you see that's why it's so hard for me to accept? I didn't have control…"

Will thought again, "Well…then we have to figure out how you stay in control."

Vaughn smiled, "You should be a shrink…"

"Why?" Will asked.

"Because you sound like Barnett…she gave me a bunch of different ways to do that…I just…" he trailed off.

Will watched him scratch Donovan's ears, "It's killing you that you hurt her and couldn't stop yourself…"

"Yes, exactly…and pretty much just the hurting…"

"Ok, well…if it makes you feel any better…I don't blame you either…I understand…and I also get why you don't wanna let it go…but until you do…I mean, man – it's just gonna make things harder. You had no control – you've got it now…I'd say therein lies your answer."

Vaughn looked over at Will, "You sure you're an analyst?"

"Well – yeah – I just analyzed," he said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, you did…thanks…"

"Anytime…"

Sydney walked in a few seconds later, smiling at the two men. "Dinner's ready…you wanna eat out on the couch Vaughn, or in here."

"I think I'd rather stay in here…if it's ok…"

"Sure baby," Sydney said, "We'll bring it in."

"You need help?" Will asked.

"No, we've got it under control."

Sydney and Francie brought in the dinner a few minutes later, making a few trips for drinks and ketchup. Sydney sat with Vaughn on the bed, sharing a plate and handed him a separate plate of ketchup.

He laughed, "That's what Will did yesterday…"

She smiled, "I saw the bowl."

Will giggled, "I thought it was appropriate – you used most of it too."

"Yes, I did." He smiled and looked at Sydney and then risked a glance at Francie as well. She gave him a short and clipped smile, and then went back to her dinner.

Will noticed the way that Francie regarded Vaughn, "So…what are we gonna do tonight? Movie?"

Vaughn looked over at Will, "If you guys want…"

Will looked over at Francie while Vaughn stole a glance at Sydney. She gave him a reassuring smile and then all eyes were on Francie.

"Uh…yeah, we can watch a movie."

"What movie?" Will asked, looking at Vaughn.

"I don't care."

"Me neither," Sydney said.

Will looked again to Francie. She looked up at him, "It doesn't matter Will."

Will sighed and looked back at the couple on the bed. He gave them a shaky smile and looked down at his plate.

There were several minutes of silence; the only sounds the scraping of forks on plates and quiet masticating.

Vaughn cleared his throat, "Why don't we just all talk about this…since everyone knows…it would probably be less awkward."


	189. Clearing the Air

**Chapter 189: Clearing the Air **

_"That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way." – Doris Lessing _

"Everything that I understand, I understand only because I love." – Leo Tolstoy

"The greatest happiness of life it the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." – Victor Hugo

"Today is the blocks with which we build." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

**

* * *

**

Sydney smiled at him and looked to Francie, where Will's eyes traveled as well.

Francie regarded everyone, "Why does everyone keep looking at me?" She looked at Will, "How did you find out?"

Will answered, "Mike told me…and we're looking at you because…well…"

"Because she wants to protect Sydney," Vaughn answered.

Will looked at him, "I want to protect her too…'

"Yeah, but you heard it from me…you'd probably be in the same boat if you heard it from Sydney. You're first reaction would be to kick my ass."

Will smiled, "Well…"

Vaughn looked at Francie, "I hate what I did…and I'll probably never forgive myself, no matter what anyone tells me…I'm sorry…"

"You don't have to apologize to me," Francie said.

"Well, I feel like I should for some reason."

"Why?"

"Because, it's obviously affected everyone – it's not like this is just about me or Sydney…if I'm here, it's going to affect you guys too. You let me stay here…you're Sydney's friend…" he shrugged, "I just wanted to apologize."

"I don't want to see Sydney get hurt," Francie said.

"I don't want to see her hurt either, and I don't want to hurt her…I would never hurt her intentionally."

"Vaughn, I know that," Sydney said looking over at him.

"But maybe Francie doesn't," he said looking from Sydney back to Francie.

"No, I do…I just…I'm not sure it matters that it was unintentional."

"Francie…" Sydney said with distain.

"I'm just saying what I think…and I have every right to as your friend, because I care about you."

There was silence again until Vaughn said quietly, "I already asked Sydney, but this is your house too…if you want me to leave, I will."

"Vaughn, it's not up to Francie," Sydney said.

Vaughn looked over at her, "If she wants me to leave, I will."

All eyes fell on Francie again, "Can you guarantee it won't happen again?"

"No, but I can guarantee I'd kill myself before I hurt her again."

Francie started him down, searching his eyes. She nodded, "Good enough for me."

Will let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in.

"So, what movie are we gonna watch?" Francie asked.

Will stammered, "Uh…I don't…why don't I go see what we have."

"I'll come with you," Francie said, getting up. She smiled at Vaughn and Sydney and followed Will out.

Sydney looked over at Vaughn, "What if she would have said yes."

"Then I would have left," Vaughn said simply.

"Even though I didn't want you to."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because she cares about you. And it's her house too…"

"But you're mine…and she has no say over what we decide."

"Well…I would have…"

Sydney laid her head on his shoulder, "Why is it then that you can't forgive yourself when you've just demonstrated once again what a wonderful man you are?"

Vaughn chuckled, "Because I love you too much."

"But I already forgave you."

"But I'll never forgive myself."

"Vaughn."

"I didn't say I'd never accept it…just…not fully yet. That's all I've got right now ok? I can't tell you that I'm over what I did."

"I understand…I just don't want it to drag you down…"

He sighed, "Just keep doing what you're doing then."

"I will."

He turned to look at her and kissed her forehead, "Thank you."

"Thank you." She said as she turned her head to kiss him on the lips, "That was very brave…"

"Nah…"

"Yeah, it was."

"Well, I was scared shitless."

Sydney chuckled, "You still did it."

"Yeah."

"I love you even more for it."

"That means a lot…I love you more every day."

"Ditto."

Will looked sideways, nervously at Francie.

"Will if you have something to say, say it," she said.

"What were you doing in there? It wasn't his fault…"

"No, but he did it…"

"Would you have said yes?"

"If I didn't believe him…but it took a lot of guts for him to ask in the first place."

"Sydney would have been really mad."

"Well, she would have seen in time that I did it because I care about her."

"By sending the one person she loves the most away?"

"Yes."

"Jesus. That was really…awkward…"

"Yeah, now it's not. Really, I like Michael and he handled that really well. He initiated the conversation and he did a good job answering me. Given that, I still had to ask, but I would never say yes…not really…because I think that would do more damage to him… and Syd…ok?"

"I'm glad you said that, because you were starting to scare me."

Francie smiled, "What movie…"

"Uh…I have no idea…I think drama is out…" he said with a smile.

Francie smacked his arm.

"And horror…"

She smacked him again, then turned him and kissed him softly, "You're a good man too…"

Will smiled, "Thanks."

"How about…romantic comedy?"

"Ugh…"

"You can stand one…"

"Ok," Will said with a sigh, "Which one…you pick the chick flick."

"Heartbreakers? Blast From the Past?" Francie chuckled, "I've seen like all of these…so…"

"Well – what…um…actresses are in them?"

Francie turned, "What?!"

"Well, I mean – I have to have something to…" he stopped, "whichever you pick is fine…"

Francie smiled, "Knew I liked you…let's do Heartbreakers."

"K…that's an excellent choice honey," Will said with a smile.

"You're not a bad liar…"

They walked back to the bedroom, smiling and holding hands.

"K – well – I let Francie pick the movie – and she picked an all-out-action film! Just kidding! We get a CHICK FLICK! YAY!"

Vaughn laughed, "Which one?"

"Heartbreakers…I tried to ask about that actresses…but well I got the evil eye…"

Vaughn smirked, "Never ask about the actresses, just look at the box dude."

Sydney smacked his arm.

"Ow!"

She and Francie smiled triumphantly at each other. Francie beamed, "Movie's starting!"

She snuggled up with Will on the floor by the bottom of the bed and Sydney did the same with Vaughn on the bed. When both women looked at their respective boyfriends fifteen minutes later, they were both asleep.

Francie looked back at a smiling Sydney. She shook her head and they giggled quietly through the film. When it was over, Francie tapped Will.

He jerked awake, "What? What I miss…"

Francie snorted, "The movie, come on."

"I missed the whole thing?" he asked in a whiney voice, "Oh man…and I was really looking forward to it…damn!"

Francie just shook her head, "Night Syd."

"Night Syd," Will echoed.

Sydney got Vaughn resettled on the bed and turned off the lights, snuggled back in and joined him in slumber, hoping he'd be free of nightmares.


	190. Don’t Close Your Eyes

**Chapter 190: Don't Close Your Eyes **

_"The sun's rim dips; the stars rush out: At one stride comes the dark." – S.T. Coleridge _

"Our dreams are the source for those illusive, below-consciousness feelings that tend to dive for cover when they meet the light of day. If we are persistent about searching for and seeking our dreams, and our inner self, the line between the conscious and the unconscious will blur." – Julia Chiapella

"Greater is our terror of the unknown." – Titus Livius

"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable." – Madeleine L'Engle

"To love at all is to be vulnerable." – C. S. Lewis

**

* * *

**

The room was warm and lit by the soft light of the one lamp in the corner. Sydney was sleeping peacefully, snuggled close to Vaughn. She woke slightly and noticed that he seemed to be more fidgety than usual. He was mumbling something too, words tumbling out in rapid succession, but she couldn't make out any of what he was saying. She smiled, 'it certainly wasn't don't frost the pie.' She watched him for a few minutes, his breathing slightly elevated, his skin moist. He moved every so often, and didn't look like he was resting. He was still sleeping, he didn't look like he was having a nightmare; he just looked…restless. As she watched, she debated whether or not to wake him. If it was nothing, then she'd wake him for no reason.

She decided just to wait it out a few more minutes. She lay down on her own pillow, watching his chest rise and fall, his breathing getting more rapid.

The silence and seeming peace of the room erupted in a sea of chaos when Vaughn suddenly bolted upright in the bed screaming. The scream was like nothing Sydney had ever heard, and certainly not anything she'd ever heard come out of Vaughn. Never had any other nightmare sounded like this one…and it didn't stop – he just kept screaming. Sydney shivered as she sat up next to him, words of comfort starting to roll off her tongue immediately. "Vaughn…it's ok," she said reaching out to him. His shirt was plastered to his back, his hair matted on his head, and still, he kept screaming.

Will and Francie were banging on the door within seconds, the blood chilling scream forcing them out of their own slumber to her door. Will didn't wait for Sydney to answer. He pushed the door open, and that only set off Vaughn more.

Will and Francie stood in the doorway, looking to Sydney for answers, but she didn't have any at the moment. "What's going on?" Will tried to ask over the screaming.

Sydney tried frantically to calm Vaughn, rubbing his back; "It's just a dream honey…easy…"

A new wave started, his throat constricting with more screams, bone chilling beyond belief. Francie attempted to cover herself more with her robe as the goosebumps broke out on her skin.

Sydney tried unsuccessfully again to comfort Vaughn, touching him and telling him that it was just a dream, but he only became more inconsolable, jerking away from her, moving in an attempt to get away, his screaming louder and more insistent. His gaze fixed off on something non-existent in the room, a slightly crazed and terrified look in his eyes.

Fear took hold of Sydney's heart, the blood in her veins running like ice. She had no idea what to do, this wasn't an ordinary nightmare and it seemed it wasn't about to end.

"What the hell's going on?" Will asked frantically as he and Francie stood helpless by the door.

Sydney looked at them in fear and uncertainty. She grabbed the phone off the nightstand, not even looking at the clock to check the time. Each successive ring made her heart sink.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the phone clicked, "Barnett…" a sleepy voice said.

"DR. BARNETT!" Sydney yelled over Vaughn's screaming.

"Hello? Sydney?"

Screams echoed through the phone, "Dr. Barnett, I don't know what's wrong with Vaughn. I think he's having a nightmare but he won't stop screaming."

"Is he awake?"

"I think so...his eyes are open." Sydney yelled while Vaughn screamed.

"Is he responding to you?"

"He won't stop screaming!" Sydney yelled frantically, "Not really. I tried to get him to calm down. I tried to tell him it was just a dream, but he pushed me away and now he's just screaming more. I don't know what to do!"

"Okay. He's having a night terror, Sydney. Just try to stay calm, it'll pass soon," Barnett said calmly.

"A night terror? What is that? You mean he's not having a nightmare?" Sydney asked confused, plugging her ear to try to hear Barnett.

"No. He's technically still asleep; he doesn't know what's going on. Is there any way you could hold him or touch him? Or is he resistant?"

"He was before - let me try again," Sydney said, moving closer to Vaughn, sitting with him.

"Okay. Just do anything you can to try to calm him. It might help, but he'll come down on his own."

Vaughn's blood curdling screams continued, "What do I tell him? Should I tell him it's just a dream?"

"No, just tell him everything will be okay. Keep reassuring him that he's okay."

Sydney put her hand on Vaughn's back, "It's ok Vaughn. No one can hurt you," Sydney said soothingly.

"Good Sydney. Keep talking to him."

"Shh...it's ok...you're ok...just relax..."

Vaughn's screaming stopped suddenly, and he started to ramble. "The snakes…chasing me…crawling…"

"Dr. Barnett?" Sydney asked in a worried voice.

"Just agree with whatever he says Sydney."

"I should tell him that the snakes are chasing him?" she said quietly so he wouldn't hear her.

"Keep talking to him, agree with him, it'll help him calm down. Tell him you won't let the snakes chase him."

"I won't let the snakes get you Vaughn."

"They're chasing me!" He yelled frantically, "Crawling, get them off!"

"Keep talking Sydney."

"It's ok, I won't let them get you. They're not going to get you," she said soothingly, reassuring him, rubbing his back and running her hand through his hair.

"Snakes are everywhere! Crawling."

"I won't let the snakes get you. You're safe. You're safe with me Vaughn."

Then, as if nothing happened, Vaughn blinked and looked at Sydney strangely, "Syd? Who are you talking to?" He said before he lay back down and closed his eyes.

"I'm talking to Dr. Barnett..." Sydney said as he lay back down, "Ok, he's awake…I think…Dr. Barnett…he just laid down again – and I'm pretty sure he's asleep again. What's going on?" she asked, trying to understand, her heart still racing, her voice laden with fear, "And why was he screaming like that? He's never done that before."

"He was just having a night terror. We don't know why they happen, I know you're worried, but they can't hurt him. Tomorrow morning the chances of him actually remembering what happened are slim to none."

"Ok, but I remember. He's not going to remember this at all? Like nothing?"

"He might remember being scared for some reason, or remember seeing people or animals, but the chances of him remembering that he screamed like that and what he said or did is unlikely."

"So am I supposed to ask him about this? Tell him about it? Tell him that he told me snakes were chasing him? He looked terrified, I can't believe he's not going to remember."

"I'm not saying I'm positive he won't remember, but most people who experience night terrors don't remember anything. They are still asleep when this occurs. It's just like sleepwalking, they don't remember it and unlike sleepwalking it's not dangerous to wake a person up from a night terror. If he mentions anything about it, don't keep what happened from him. And if he doesn't ask, you can tell him."

"Is he going to have these a lot? And nightmares too?"

"It's hard to say. He will have nightmares, I'm almost positive of that. I don't know if he will have any more night terrors. No one knows why they happen, or how to prevent them. It doesn't mean he has psychological problems; they can just happen. A number of things can contribute to being more susceptible to them, but they don't bring them on."

"What things? I don't know many more 'things' I can handle here." Sydney said honestly, and then realized that she should probably move into the hall if she was going to talk with Barnett.

Will and Francie searched her face frantically for an answer as to what was going on, only picking up bits and pieces of information.

She looked at them and attempted a shaky smile, and she realized her hands were shaking as she motioned for them to go back to sleep. "I'll have to talk to you guys in the morning," she said, while listening to Barnett.

"Stress, being over-tired, eating a lot before sleeping. These allow terror to be able to manifest itself."

"It's one thing when he's just injured – then he's injured and psychologically injured too. Now, he's having night terrors he won't remember – but I will. He can't move around, he can't do things by himself; he's just gotten rough with me after a nightmare, now this...what more can there be?" Sydney said, the words just pouring out unintentionally. Tears inevitably started to fall as well.

"Take a deep breath Sydney. It'll be okay. I promise you he's going to heal, it will just take time. I know you're scared; it's okay to be scared. He's been through a lot too, so it's going to take time. I can't make promises on what will and won't happen again, but it will get better. It's okay to cry, be scared. It's okay."

"But he needs me to be there for him...to be strong for him," she choked through her tears, quietly sobbing in the hallway.

"It's always harder to be the witness of a night terror than the victim. I know this. You need to calm down; it's okay now. You don't always have to be the strong one Sydney. As much as Michael has been through, you can still lean on him. It would probably make him feel a lot better if you did lean on him a little. You don't have an easy job there Sydney, and Michael knows that. It's okay to cry, it's okay to be scared, and it's okay to lean on him and ask for his comfort as well."

"But he has so much else going on...and now he has more. I just, I don't want to add to the stress," she said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

"He does have a lot to deal with, but I have no doubt that he can handle it. You're only going to be able to get through this together. Remember what I said earlier? Don't shut him out because you think he's been through enough already. If you don't let him in, he won't let you in. You both need each other. Take strength from each other, even if there's only a little to give, it helps."

"I'm never going to sleep tonight," Sydney said as she wiped at more of her tears, a short laugh of realization following.

"I'm not going to force you to sleep Sydney, but you should at least try. He's okay now, if that's what you're worried about. I know it's hard to sleep after living through one of someone else's night terrors. I'm going to send you an email right now. It has a link to a great website that has information on night terrors, ok? If you can't sleep, you can read up on them for morning. And the next time I come over for therapy, I'll bring a great book for you and Michael to read."

"Ok…thank you…"

"Anytime. Are you ok now?"

"Yeah, I think so…it was just…scary…"

"I know it was…try to get some sleep now. Call me if you need anything else."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I called you so late," Sydney admitted, finally looking at the clock.

"It's ok. Anytime. Goodnight Sydney."

"Goodnight Dr. Barnett."

Sydney hung up the phone and leaned against the wall, her body slowly slipping down the wall until she hit the floor. She held the phone in one hand while her other covered her eyes. She had no clue how long she was sitting there, but eventually, the tears started to fall again. She covered her mouth, not wanting to wake anyone up again, the sobs quietly filling the hallway as the thoughts and memories started to invade her mind. It was like every bad thing that had ever happened to either one of them was on constant replay at the moment, and she couldn't shut off the flow of tears.

Quietly, Francie's bedroom door opened and Will padded out. Sydney tried unsuccessfully to stop crying, but it didn't work very well. Will said nothing, but shut Sydney's door, peering in at Vaughn and then offering Sydney a hand. She took it and he pulled her up, supporting her as he helped her walk to the living room. He sat her on the couch and walked off, returning with a box of tissues.

She laughed and took one, blowing her nose and wiping at the tears. He smiled softly and sat down next to her, pulling her over to him. He held her as a new batch of tears hit, knowing that she was far from done. He said nothing, but kept up a steady rhythm of rubs to her back. She curled her legs under her and burrowed into him, the stress and fear of the last few months finally pouring out on Will's tee shirt.

After a while, the tears slowed, the sobbing stopped, and the hiccupping lessened. Will just held on, handing her tissues every so often and letting her get out whatever she needed to. He risked a glance down at her and smiled when he realized that she had fallen asleep.

He carefully picked her up and carried her back to her bedroom, tucking her in next to Vaughn. He was about to walk away, but stopped, looking with interest when he noticed the way that they both seemed to seek each other out on the bed. In no time, they were intertwined, sleeping mostly peacefully, together.

He chuckled quietly and walked out, musing what a perfect metaphor that made. He closed the door softly and walked back to Francie's bedroom.

She looked at him, "She ok?"

"Yeah, I think so…just cried a lot – I think it all caught up with her."

"Wow…yeah…that was…scary…" Francie said, burrowing into Will's chest.

"Hang on," he said, moving to grab another shirt, "That one's a little moist."

Francie smiled, "Well…I'm awake…how about you?"

"Yeah, I don't think I'll sleep…kinda…all I can hear is him screaming."

"Yeah…can you imagine? What would have made him that scared?"

"I don't know…"

"What should we do?"

"Wanna play 20 questions?" Will asked.

Francie laughed, "I think I can think of something better to do than 20 questions…unless it's the 'adult' version."

Will smiled, "You think I'd play the other kind? God…you're really dense…that was a total come on!"

Francie giggled, "Well…COME ON then…"


	191. After the Storm

**191: After the Storm**

_"Let your tears come. Let them water your soul." – Eileen Mayhew _

"Lips that taste of tears, they say, Are the best for kissing." – Dorothy Parker

"Doubt is not a pleasant mental state but certainty is a ridiculous one." – Voltaire

"Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock." – Anon.

"Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships." – Charles Simic

* * *

Sydney opened her eyes the following morning to the peaceful visage of the man she loved sleeping. She smiled and reached out her hand to caress his rough cheek. She was laying partially on him, and she wondered how she got here. She tried to remember the last thing before she fell asleep last night…the couch…crying on Will. 'He must have carried me in here,' Sydney thought. She turned her attention back to Vaughn. She felt refreshed after her crying episode last night, all the stress washed away or at least ebbed. She realized, if Vaughn didn't remember anything from the previous night, she'd have to find a way to tell him.

She was lost in her thoughts when she heard a raspy, "Hey…"

She turned her head and smiled at him, "Hi…"

He cleared his throat and looked at her, searching her eyes. Something was…off. "Syd?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sydney said totally unconvincingly.

"Sydney…tell me…"

"Nothing…it's nothing…"

He observed her a minute and then decided he couldn't make her tell him. He thought a moment, "Well…I hope I'm not rubbing off on you…"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know…I…it's like I had a dream…but I can't remember…I just remember being really scared…I hope it's not like wafting to your side of the bed," he said with a soft smile.

Sydney looked away from him.

"Sydney…is that it?" he asked, concerned.

"No…" she looked at him, "You…you had a night terror last night."

Vaughn's face scrunched in confusion, "A night terror? What the hell is that?"

"Well…you woke up screaming…like SCREAMING…"

Vaughn's confusion turned to shock, "I did? How come I don't remember?"

"Apparently that's what distinguishes a nightmare from a night terror…or one of the things…"

"How do you know this?"

"I called Barnett during it…I didn't know what to do…you wouldn't stop screaming…"

"I don't…I don't remember any of that…I just remember being scared…and I think I remember…snakes…"

"Yeah, you talked about them…they were chasing you, crawling on you. You screamed for like…fifteen minutes."

"I did?!"

"Yeah…then you just woke up and asked me who I was on the phone with and went back to sleep."

Vaughn stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, the only thing Sydney could come up with to describe his face, was a look of 'huh.'

He finally turned to look at her, "I'm sorry Syd," he said quietly, his eyes full of regret.

"For what?"

"Just…one more thing...and this isn't even something I remember. Just one more thing you have to deal with and I'm sorry…"

Sydney smiled softly, reaching her hand out to touch his face, "None of it is your fault…"

"Well, there's got to be someone who's responsible at the time. I just…I never wanted you to have to have this much to deal with because of me."

Sydney was quiet a moment, and then looked at him again, "Neither one of us can help what happens. I don't resent you or anything…it just…we just have to deal with it."

He sighed heavily, "Yeah, but sometimes I think you deal with more than I do…"

"No I don't…"

He turned to her, "Yes, you do," he said forcefully. "And no matter who we blame, Sloane, Sark, whoever, that doesn't change the fact that it's just you and me here…dealing with it. And while I sleep and don't remember, you do."

"Vaughn, I just see what you go through. I deal with what happens to you now. I don't deal with what actually happened to you. That's all in your head and I think that's gotta be worse than what I see."

He sighed again, "I just don't want you to have to put up with this much shit."

"Vaughn, I'll decide how much I can deal with ok? It just sort of…all hit me yesterday…"

"What do you mean?"

'Shit,' Sydney thought, now she'd have to tell him. "Well…I sort of…" she stopped, thinking, "I guess I sort of broke down…"

"You what?" Vaughn said wildly, shifting on the bed and wincing terribly.

"Are you ok?"

"What happened? How bad was this? I didn't hurt you again did I?" he asked, his face instantly turning ashen.

"No…no baby," she reassured him, "I was fine…it was just…scary…"

"Why?"

"Well because you were screaming like…well it was bad…truthfully, I've never heard anyone scream like that…my blood…just ice…" she shivered.

Vaughn pulled her over to him, hugging her tightly, "I'm sorry Sydney…"

"No, stop apologizing. It was just…" she buried her head in his chest, "It was really scary…I was afraid that something was happening to you and I didn't know how to help. I was pretty much hysterical when I called Barnett, and after, I just…lost it…"

"Sydney…I'm so sorry I wasn't awake…"

"Vaughn, stop. It wasn't your fault."

"So…what happened? What did you do?"

"I talked to Barnett for a while and then cried…"

Vaughn closed his eyes in remorse, "I should have been there…"

Sydney said quietly, "Will was…he let me cry…I fell asleep then…"

She just lay on Vaughn's chest, until she realized his chest was rising and falling differently. She pushed herself up and looked at him, tears falling. "Vaughn…"

"I should have been there to hold you…not Will…that's not…I'm sorry…I sorry I haven't been there for you the way you are for me…that I don't comfort you when you need it…"

"Vaughn," Sydney said frantically, her own tears starting to fall, "No…it's not…please honey…don't cry…"

They both dissolved into a soft flurry of tears, quiet sobs as they held onto each other. Before long, they'd both fallen asleep again and when they opened their eyes, they saw the same emotions reflected in the others.

Sydney reached out her hand and smoothed it through Vaughn's hair, his mimicking her actions almost simultaneously.

"I'm sorry I'm not there for you like I used to be," he said quietly.

She smiled softly, "It's your turn…and you're still there for me…"

"Not really…but I want to be…"

"Sometimes, I think you have enough to deal with…"

"Sometimes I think you think I have too much to deal with and then don't tell me when I'd be perfectly fine helping you and getting my mind off what I have to deal with."

Sydney chuckled, "You're probably right…I'll try harder ok?"

Vaughn smiled, "I'll try to ask more…"

"But don't think that you have to be strong all the time…ok? You can have comfort too…"

"Yeah, I know Sydney…"

"Ok."

She leaned over and pressed her lips to his, their kiss soft yet full of all the passion and love that they felt for each other. When they parted, both were smiling, a new understanding in place.

Something from before flashed in Sydney's mind, "Vaughn," she said.

"Yeah…"

"How much pain are you in?"

He smiled softly and chuckled, "Well…let's just say, the way I feel at the moment, makes more sense knowing that I bolted up in bed last night."

She sat up, "Can you move?"

"Yeah," he said moving painfully, "Well…define 'move.'"

"Stop," Sydney said as she watched his face break out in a grimace, "Just relax. Where does it hurt?"

"My shoulder mostly…" he said.

She held onto his arm and rotated the shoulder. He let out a sharp cry, "Sorry…"

"Mmm…k that sucked."

"We haven't been keeping it in the sling either…" Sydney cringed, "Too much too soon…"

"I wanted to…"

"Anything else?"

"My ribs are a little sore…kinda stiff…but it's not bad," he said, attempting to sit up slightly. He was completely unsuccessful however.

"Vaughn…" Sydney said shaking her head and sighing, "We have to be more careful…we can't rush things."

"Sydney, I've been laying her for over a month, I need to push myself."

"But not to the point of re-injury."

"Well, I don't think my brain was really too worried about re-injury last night from the sounds of things."

"I'll get your pills…and I'm gonna call Tom too…"

Vaughn sighed, "Yeah, he hasn't been here in a few days…needs to make the rounds."

Sydney came back with his pills and grabbed the phone.

It rang a few times, "Dr. Barker…"

"Hey," Sydney said.

"Hi Syd…what's up? Mike ok?"

"Yeah, well…"

"Uh oh…"

Sydney chuckled, "Well, we've sort of been slacking on the sling…now he's in pain…like if I move it at all, it just kills him."

"Ok…I can be over to check it out in about a half hour…that ok?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Ok, I'll see you in a while."

"Thanks Tom."

"Bye Syd."

Sydney hung up the phone and smiled at Vaughn, "He'll be over in a bit."

"Ok…"

"Should I make us something to eat before he gets here?"

"Sure."

"What do you want?"

"Mmm," he craned his neck to look at the clock, wincing, "Well…it's only 10…still breakfast time…" he said with a smile.

"I'll go look…" Sydney said with a smile and a kiss before she opened the bedroom door and walked out to the kitchen.


	192. And So It Begins

**Chapter 192: And So It Begins **

_"It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go than face all this pain here all alone  
Something has been taken from deep inside of me,  
A secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see  
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played  
If I could change I would  
Take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I f I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
If I could change I would  
Take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave  
Chorus  
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
And never moving forward so there would never be a past  
If I could change I would  
Take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I f I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
If I could change I would  
Take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave  
Just washing it aside  
All of the helplessness inside  
Pretending i don't feel this place  
Is so much simpler than change  
Chorus" – "Easier to Run" – Linkin Park _

"No possession is gratifying without a companion." – Seneca

"A brief candle; both ends burning  
An endless mile; a bus wheel turning  
A friend to share the lonesome times  
A handshake and a sip of wine  
So say it loud and let it ring  
We are all a part of everything  
The future, present and the past  
Fly on proud bird  
You're free at last." – Charlie Daniels

"Medicine is not only a science; it is also an art. It does not consist of compounding pills and plasters; it deals with the very processes of life, which must be understood before they may be guided." – Paracelsus

**

* * *

**

"Hey," Francie said as Sydney walked into the kitchen. She had all the burners on the stove going full blast, an enticing and delicious aroma filling the room.

Will sat on a stool by the counter, reading the sport section of the paper, "Hey Syd," he said, without looking up from his reading.

"Hi," she said to both of them. "What smells so good? You guys didn't eat yet?"

"It's the continental breakfast," Francie said with a smile, "And no, this is brunch…and we figured if the smell didn't wake you up, we'd just drop the plates on the bed."

Sydney chuckled, "I see…so this is brunch for the whole house then…"

Francie turned to her, "Isn't is always?" she asked with a strange look, "I said continental – that means all…"

Sydney smiled, "Ok…"

Francie turned back to the burners, "You wanna eat in there again or out here?"

"Vaughn can't eat out here today."

Francie turned again and Will looked at her for the first time over his paper, "Why not?" he asked.

"I doubt he can really move much at all…he's trying to cover it up, but Tom's on his way over – he's in a lot of pain today."

Will looked at Francie and then back to Sydney, "Cause of the night terror?"

"Yeah, and he's been putting a lot of stress on that shoulder, we've been really lax with the sling."

"He's in a lot of pain?" Will asked, but it sounded more like a statement.

Sydney nodded, "Yeah…"

"Is it bad?" Will asked.

Sydney smiled softly, "I think so…but like I said – he's trying to hide it."

"Does he remember?" Francie asked.

"No…not at all…he feels bad though…" she turned to Will, "Thank you…"

He smiled, "Anytime."

Francie turned around, "Are you ok? That was pretty scary…"

"Yeah, I'm ok…I know it was…I'd tell you more about it, but I think Vaughn and I have to figure it out first."

"That's fine…no…we were just worried," Francie said.

Will nodded and Francie went back to her meal silently.

"I'll get him dressed and stuff…" Sydney said turning around.

"We'll bring it in," Francie called after her. Once Sydney had walked into the bedroom and closed the door, she turned around to Will.

He put the paper down, "You think they're ok?"

"Well…she wasn't last night…but she seems to be now."

"Yeah…maybe she'll talk more later…."

Francie nodded and started to turn off the burners, "You wanna get the juice and stuff."

"Sure," Will said, getting off the stool and pouring the juice.

"What else can we do today? To help?" Francie asked.

"I don't know…movie idea is getting a little old, but like I said yesterday, unless you can physically go somewhere, options are really limited."

"Well, maybe we can go outside today…or games again?"

"I don't know, if he's in a lot of pain, he might not want to."

"Yeah," Francie said sighing, "That's gotta really suck."

"Yup," Will said turning and kissing her, helping her with the plates.

Sydney walked back to the bedroom and closed the door, "K, continental breakfast is on the way."

Vaughn chuckled, "Continental?"

"Yeah, Francie was making brunch already…let's get you dressed, ok?"

"Sure," Vaughn said with a yawn.

"You still tired?" she asked as she grabbed things for him to wear.

"Not really…just yawning…"

She turned and smiled at him, carefully helping him sit. She watched his reactions, trying to determine how much pain he was in, but it was fairly evident when she first started to pulling him up and he yelped loudly.

"Vaughn?" she asked, sitting on his legs immediately and supporting his upper body.

"Mmm…just…yeah…" he said, wincing, his face contorting into one of acute pain.

"Should we lay you down again?" she asked softly, running her hand over his stubbly cheek.

"Yeah," he said in a strained voice.

She lowered him slowly, gently easing him back onto the pillow, "Better?" she asked quietly after a few minutes.

"Mmmhmm…"

"Let's not worry about getting dressed right now, you just rest…I'm gonna get dressed real quick here…"

Vaughn let out a grunt of recognition and Sydney quickly dressed, throwing on the first clothes she found.

She came back to the bed then, sitting down next to him, "How you doing now?"

"Same," he said quietly.

"Tom will be here in just a little while," she said as she rubbed her hand up and down his chest, "What hurts honey?"

"Shoulder…ribs…chest too…"

"I'm sorry Vaughn…"

He looked over at her, "You didn't do anything."

"Well, I let you willfully hurt your shoulder more…"

He smiled, "That was like the best part…"

Sydney returned the smile, "You know that's not the way Tom's going to see it."

"Well, maybe he'll congratulate me first before he yells at me."

Sydney smiled softly and sighed.

"What?" he asked.

"Just…it seems every time you make progress, it changes on you."

"I'm sorry…"

"No, that's not the way I meant it. I don't mean it from my standpoint."

"Well, it's usually both – because like last night – it was you that dealt with it."

"We're in this together…"

Vaughn smiled, "You sure you're not tired of it?"

"No…"

"Even though you had a meltdown yesterday?"

"I think I just needed to do that…I'm refreshed…" she said with a sweet smile.

"Mmmhmm…" Vaughn said unconvinced.

"Look…from now on…I'll tell you…ok?"

"Yeah, I think you should."

They shared a soft smile before Will and Francie came in the room with the "continental breakfast."

"Hey guys," Francie said.

"Hi," both Sydney and Vaughn said.

Will handed Sydney a plate and Vaughn's pills and looked at the tired, pained form of Vaughn on the bed. He shared a soft smile with Sydney and sat down on the chair with Francie on his lap.

Sydney put the plate on the nightstand and tried to pull Vaughn up as gently as she could so he was at least sitting up enough to eat.

He sat painfully, and took the pills and then a few bites from Sydney before he shook his head, "I gotta lay down…" he said wincing.

Sydney helped him move immediately, helping him lay more comfortably.

She watched him struggle, the pain etched firmly on his face until he settled back into the bed and the pain lessened somewhat.

She looked down at him with a soft smile, "Sorry honey…"

He smiled, "It's ok…I wasn't that hungry anyway…you eat…" he said.

She nodded and had a few bites as well, but kept most of her attention on him.

Will and Francie ate quietly, glancing at Sydney and the man on the bed, regarding them both with worry and concern.

Vaughn's eyes fell closed as he tried to deal with the pain and regulate his breathing. Sydney ran her hand through his hair, knowing that it had at least a calming effect.

The doorbell rang and both Francie and Will got up.

"I'll get it," Will announced, as Francie followed him out, taking the plates out with her.

He opened the door, "Hey Tom."

"Hi Will…how're you?"

"I'm ok, come on in," Will said, stepping aside to let Tom in.

Tom smiled as he started to walk to the bedroom, "Hey Francie."

"Hi Tom," she said with a smile as both she and Will followed him to the bedroom.

Sydney looked over at Tom when he stepped into the room.

"Hey," he said softly, seeing that Vaughn's eyes were closed.

He opened them when he heard Tom's voice and smiled a small smile at him.

"Hi," Sydney said, moving to sit on the other side of Vaughn's form so that Tom could look at him.

"How ya doin'?" he asked.

Vaughn gave him a resigned and tired look.

"That good, huh?" he said with a smile, "Let's take a look…can you tell me what hurts?"


	193. AssessmentEvaluating Options

**NOTE:** I am so, so sorry for the incredibly long wait. I have so much crap going on in my life that I completely forgot about it. Since I'm begining to see the light at the end of the tunnel, updates should be much more frequent.

**Chapter 193: Assessment/Evaluating Options **

_"Deliberate with caution, but act with decision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness." – Charles Caleb Colton _

"Ever notice that what the hell is always the right decision?" – Marilyn Monroe

"This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: we are given one life and the decision is ours whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live." – General Omar Bradley

"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice." – George Eliot

**

* * *

**

Vaughn sighed tiredly, "Shoulder, ribs, chest."

"Ok," Tom said and moved the blanket down to start his examination, "Let's start with the shoulder…"

Vaughn said nothing and Tom took that as his cue to start looking at Vaughn's shoulder. He took hold of Vaughn's wrist and placed his other hand on the shoulder socket and slowly moved the arm out.

Pain was evident immediately; Tom kept moving it, and the more he moved, the more noise Vaughn made.

Tom looked down at his friend in pain and then looked over at Sydney, "Have you been keeping it in the sling?"

She looked down momentarily, "Not so much…" she admitted.

Tom nodded and went back to manipulating the painful shoulder, but finally stopped when he knew it was causing Vaughn too much pain.

"You still have those morphine shots?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sydney said.

Will walked out the door to get them instantly; Sydney noticing that they had been by the door the whole time.

He came back in a few moments later and handed one to Tom, who took it and expertly gave Vaughn the shot directly in his shoulder.

"K, that should help with the pain for now…" he said before continuing, "I'm gonna look at your ribs now…"

Vaughn nodded through his state of semi-euphoria, happy that his shoulder was at least in less pain. A new and intense wave started however when Tom started to prod at his ribs.

Tom stopped immediately, knowing that there was obviously something wrong with the ribs. He looked to Vaughn, "How bad does that hurt?" he asked.

Vaughn looked up at him with pained eyes, not saying anything, but knowing that he didn't have to.

Tom nodded, "Ok…" he continued on to the other ribs, slowly and carefully checking them through the wrap. He knew that if it hurt that much with the wrap on, it could be something much more serious.

"Just hang in there with me…few more minutes," he said quietly, trying to finish the exam as quickly as he could, but still being thorough enough.

When he was finished, he laid a gentle hand on Vaughn's chest to let him know he was done. Then he stood back and looked at Sydney before his gaze moved back to his friend again.

"Ok…" he said slowly, taking a deep breath, "The shoulder needs to be rested…it needs to stay in the sling…but right now, that's now what's concerning me…" he stopped, making sure that Vaughn was looking at him. "I know this is probably not what you want to hear…and I wouldn't say it if I didn't think it was necessary…but I think we need to re-x-ray your ribs…" he stopped, letting the idea linger in the air a moment before he continued, "Now…this would only be a x-ray…" he tried to assure them, "but…if we find something…" he let his thought trail off.

Vaughn looked at him for a few minutes and then looked over at Sydney. She shook her head in disbelief or shock, or a combination of the two and about a million other emotions, "Well…" she said, but her thought trailed off too.

Vaughn looked between the two before he piped up, "It's only a x-ray…" he said, "It's Tom's hospital…" he added, looking at them again.

Tom smiled, "You ok with this?"

"What choice do I have?" Vaughn asked.

Sydney ran her hand through his hair, smiling at his acceptance, "I'll be right there too…"

He smiled, "I know…"

Tom nodded, "Ok…well I'll call for an ambulance."

"Can't we just take a car?" Vaughn asked.

Tom smiled; "I don't want to risk injuring your ribs any more…sorry buddy…" he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the hospital number, talking to the ER receptionist to arrange for transportation.

Francie and Will moved farther into the room while Tom was on the phone. Will said, "We'll follow you guys there…"

"You don't have to do that," Vaughn said.

"We want to do it," Francie stated plainly.

Vaughn didn't argue. Sydney smiled at her friends, thanking them silently for their support.

"Ok…transportation is on its way…" Tom said with a smile.

"How fast can it go?" Vaughn asked.

Tom grinned, "This is transportation in style – you think I'd let you go in a crappy ambulance? This thing can do 150 man!"

"Can we go 150?" Vaughn asked as Sydney rolled her eyes.

Tom chuckled, "If we turn on the siren…" he said with a raised brow.

Vaughn chuckled but stopped when it hurt too much.

After a few moments of silence, Sydney asked, "Where's Kaia? Why didn't she come with you today?"

Tom smiled bashfully, "Well…she's sort of resting…"

"Resting?" Sydney asked.

"Yeah…she couldn't come…well see – that was the problem…"

Sydney gave him a strange look, but Vaughn started to chuckle, wincing painfully, but not caring at the moment.

Sydney looked down at Vaughn and that back at Tom, "I don't get it."

"She's at home on bed rest…"

"Why?"

Vaughn was snickering and near tears, almost coughing to the point of choking, but he couldn't stop, "Oh man…stop…just tell her…you're gonna kill me…"

Tom chuckled, "I…WE…got a little overzealous in our…lovemaking…she came too much…"

Vaughn was coughing painfully, trying to just breathe, and failing miserably. When realization hit Sydney, it just made him laugh more.

"Easy…" Tom said chuckling.

"I can't help it," he said, giggling more.

Sydney shook her head, "Tom…Jesus…"

"Yeah – that's what she said too…"

Vaughn had finally stopped laughing, until he heard Tom say that, and it set him off again.

Finally, after a few more minutes, he stopped, "Oh my God…I need more morphine," he said with a cough.

Tom smiled, "Do you really…or are you just laughed to the point of exhaustion?"

Vaughn chuckled, "That was…just great…"

Tom smiled, happy that he had seen his friend laugh despite the pain he was in.

"I can't believe you didn't get that," he said looking at Sydney.

"Well!" she said, "How was I supposed to know THAT'S what he meant?"

Giggles abounded again until the doorbell rang.


	194. Transportation in Style

**Chapter 194: Transportation in Style **

_"Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves." – Carol Pearson _

"It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end." – Ursula K. LeGuin

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear." – H.P. Lovecraft

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." – Eddie Rickenbacher

"Gimme fuel  
Gimme fire  
Gimme that which I desire  
Oh Yeah  
Turn on, I see red  
Adrenaline crash and crack my head  
Nitro junkie, paint me dead  
And I see red  
A hundred plus through black and white  
Oh  
On I burn  
Fuel is pumping engines  
Burning hard  
Loose and clean  
Oh  
And on I burn  
Churning my direction  
Quench my thirst with gasoline  
So gimme fuel  
Gimme fire  
Gimme that which I desire  
Yeah" – "Fuel" – Metallica

**

* * *

**

Will went off to answer the door, pointing the EMTs in the right direction.

They skillfully moved Vaughn onto the stretcher and everyone followed them out the door. They loaded him into the ambulance and Sydney and Tom got in the back with him. Will and Francie went to Francie's car and they followed right behind.

Once they had him settled in the ambulance, Tom made sure they started him on IV pain medication. Sydney leaned over close to his ear so no one else would hear, "You really doing ok?"

He smiled, "Yeah…I'm ok…"

She returned the smile, plainly seeing that he wasn't trying to hide anything from her.

Tom spent much of the ride on the phone prepping the Radiology department and making arrangements for a temporary room for Vaughn.

Once he got off the phone, Vaughn asked, "Are you gonna turn the siren on?" with a boyish gleam.

Tom smiled, "Pete! Turn on the siren…and floor it…"

Pete turned and regarded Tom strangely, "Why?"

"Just do it," Tom said in an authoritative tone.

Pete shook his head and flipped on the siren, pushing the pedal down to the floor.

Sydney had to laugh when she witnessed Vaughn and Tom's elated reactions to the now speeding ambulance. There was no need for the rush; Vaughn was not in danger, yet she wouldn't have made them stop for the world. Their little boy looks were all too adorable.

They slowed significantly before they reached the hospital so the poor ER staff didn't think they had a huge emergency on their hands. Vaughn and Tom were still giggling on their way into the ER.

The EMTs moved Vaughn to a different gurney and Tom took over the task of transporting Vaughn to Radiology. Sydney at first thought this was a great idea, until she witnessed Tom and Vaughn careening his gurney down the hallways like they were in the middle of a drag race, complete with car noises from Tom. The trip took several minutes, Tom "Vrooming" them down the long halls and through elevators until he stopped in front of the Radiology doors with a "Screeeech."

Sydney shook her head as she caught up the final few meters, "I'm not sure what to think of you now Tom…I mean – are you a doctor or a playmate?"

"Sometimes…I'm both," he said with a wink.

Sydney chuckled and took Vaughn's hand as Tom pushed the gurney through the double doors into the rather large and sparse Radiology room. It was a standard room; equipment littering almost every available area, the technician room and the wall where visitors and family members stood while the x-ray was in progress.

A sexy young man, about 6'1", with a nice build, brown hair and blue-green eyes, stepped out of the technician room.

"Hi," he said, smiling, "I'm Ryan Johnson, radiologist technician…"

Sydney smiled, "I'm Sydney…this is my boyfriend Michael…"

"Hi," Ryan said looking down at Vaughn, "Tom's told me all about you…"

"Oh great," Vaughn said smiling at Tom.

Tom chuckled, "Yeah, it was all good, so shut up."

"Yeah, I can about imagine…" Vaughn added.

Tom went into doctor mode momentarily, telling Ryan which films needed to be taken, "Ok, I want to be sure we get a few films – abdomen and upper chest…I want to be sure…"

"Got it," Ryan said with a smile, "We can manage that…"

"I want to make sure the films are clear especially the ones around his ribs…so if you have to take a few more – then take a few more…ok?"

"Yeah…broken ribs, huh?" he asked looking down at Vaughn.

Vaughn nodded, "Yeah…well I hope they aren't again…"

"Dude…I've had ribs fractured and bruised…see – I was playing football – tackle football – with no pads…cause, anyway…this one guy – he's really competitive, and I tend to not back down…so, I wound up getting slammed into the goal post – yeah NOT cool…so I wound up in the ER, fractured one, bruised two," he shook his head, "My girlfriend, Nikkia, she was PISSED man…wow…and it hurt…screwed up my back too…"

"Ryan?" Tom said.

"Yeah…"

"Films? Pain…"

"OH right…" Ryan said, smiling sheepishly.

Sydney and Vaughn smiled at him as he went into the technician room again and emerged a few seconds later.

"K, just let me get the stuff set up."

Tom smiled, "He's a really great technician…why don't we get your shirt off while we wait…" he looked down at Vaughn, "Do you like this shirt?"

Vaughn looked down, "Uh…not especially…it's not like a favorite…"

"Ok, good," Tom walked off to the technician room and came back with a scissors, "Then you won't mind when I cut it off…" he said with a smile.

Vaughn chuckled.

"Much less painful this way," he said with a wink.

Ryan was busily buzzing all over the room, moving equipment, adjusting arms on the machines to set them up for the correct film positions.

Once Tom had Vaughn's shirt off, he took the scissors again, "Ok…I'm just gonna cut the wrap too, cause otherwise I'd have to sit you up…"

"Ok," Vaughn agreed.

Tom busily cut through the material of the wrap, "This is probably gonna hurt more now…without the wrap, your ribs won't be compressed…" he said with a apologetic smile.

Vaughn nodded, "I know."

Sydney tightened her grip on Vaughn's hand as Tom made the last few cuts, and the wrap fell away.

He grimaced and let out a groan as the pain moved to the surface, his ribs losing the valuable pressure that kept the pain at bay.

"Ok," Vaughn said through gritted teeth, "Ryan's gonna have to hurry up…cause this…really hurts."

"K," Tom said, "RYAN!"

Ryan appeared out of the technician room, "Yeah?"

"Hurry," Tom stated simply.

Ryan got the message. He quickened his pace, flying around the room, making last minute adjustments. He finally appeared again at the gurney, "Ok, let's get him on the table."

Tom and Ryan wheeled the gurney to the center of the room and tried to gently move Vaughn over onto the x-ray table.

He yelped when the movement caused his ribs to erupt in pain, and Tom looked poignantly at Ryan as they lowered him gently to the table.

Sydney was by his side again in a few seconds, watching him struggle painfully on the gurney.

He finally squirmed enough that the constant groans stopped. The position looked awkward at best, and certainly not comfortable, but Vaughn seemed to be in less pain.

"Is that better?" she asked quietly, holding his hand and running her other through his hair.

He nodded and smiled weakly as Sydney took a mental note of the position. He was still on his back, but he was curled so that his body formed an almost half-moon shape, only less pronounced. Sydney realized that this put pressure on his right side, which must have been where it hurt the most.

Ryan worked around her and Tom who was standing on the other side of the gurney. He moved the craned arm so it was above Vaughn's chest and then looked at Tom.

"Ok, all I have to do is lower it and set the machine."

"Well do that," Tom said.

Ryan nodded and moved to the technician room, flipping switches and returning with a lead covering for Vaughn's waist. He positioned it and smiled at Vaughn. "Gotta make sure we cover the essentials," he said with a wink.

Vaughn smiled back at him and Sydney and Tom both chuckled.

"Ok," Ryan said, "I'm gonna need you two to step back over there behind the screen…"


	195. Vaughn’s Not So Excellent Adventure

**NOTE: This will be the last chapter. Don't worry, there is going to be a CNS: Part 2! I should have it up in a day or so.**

**Chapter 195: Vaughn's Not-So-Excellent Adventure **

_"We cannot learn without pain." – Aristotle _

"Fear is met and destroyed with courage." – James F. Bell

"Do not let your fears choose your destiny." – Unknown

"Flowers grow out of darker moments." – Corita Kent

"Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation." – Unknown

**

* * *

**

Sydney and Tom both nodded.

"Mike," Tom said softly.

Vaughn looked over at him, "Yeah?"

"We need to get you lying straight…" he said with a regretful look, "that means we have to move you…so you're laying flat…otherwise the film won't turn out right…"

Vaughn nodded, "This is gonna suck…"

"Yeah, I know man," Tom said with a compassionate smile, "Just a few minutes…that's all it'll be…"

Vaughn nodded again and held Sydney's hand tightly as Tom moved to situate him on the gurney.

His face contorted into a tight and intensely painful grimace as Tom made his body lie straight.

Sydney could see the pain etched all over, his body tense and rigid, his eyes scrunched tightly, biting his lower lip to try to control the waves that spread.

Tom finished and then said, "Ok…let's get the film quickly…so we can get you more comfortable…"

He nodded to Sydney, who leaned over the gurney, "I'll be right over there…" she whispered in his ear before she kissed him and moved off to the side with Tom.

Vaughn's eyes stayed closed, trying to deal with the agony that this position caused.

Ryan literally ran out to do the final situating of the crane and then he ran back to the technician room. "Ok," he said, "Now…just lie as still as you can…and I need you to hold your breath when I say…"

Vaughn was fighting a losing battle of agony. He tried to stay focused on lying still, but it was extremely difficult when every pore of his body was crying out in pain. His hand slipped off the gurney to hold onto something, and it hit the metal edge. It was cold…

Vaughn's eyes opened, slightly shocked. When he opened his eyes, incandescent light poured out, forcing his eyes closed again. He attempted to reopen them slowly, and he screamed, startled beyond definition when the face of his torturer stared down at him. He was smiling, a grisly and sick smile, a pleased and gratified look on his face as he taunted Vaughn with the various electrical devices he employed.

Sweat broke out immediately over Vaughn's body. Then the words and sounds started to echo…  
Rhythmic…pulsing…steady…electric…blue light flickering… "One-one-thousand, Two-one-thousand…"

Vaughn convulsed on the gurney, desperate to get away from the pain and the current that he was sure was going to ripple through his body. He twisted and cried out, moving altogether too much on the limited space of the gurney, the crane further limiting his movement as he started to cry out.

Sydney's brow furrowed when she saw Vaughn's eyes open suddenly. Then he screamed…and struggled.

She bolted out of room, yelling for Tom and Ryan to stop. She was at his side in an instant, moving the crane of the x-ray machine out of her way as she carefully turned him the way he had been laying before.

"Vaughn…" she said quietly, running her hand through his hair while the other rested comfortingly on his shoulder, "It's ok…you're not there…they can't hurt you…" she said slowly and carefully.

She leaned closer so her body was in contact with his and put her lips to his ear, "I won't let them hurt you…it's ok…just relax…it's not really happening…just a flashback…"

His shaking lessened gradually, his pain-racked yelling lessening to heavy breathing and soft mews.

"Shit," he finally said, pulling Sydney's arm from his shoulder to his chest.

Sydney smiled at him as he finally looked her way, "You ok?" she asked.

"Yeah…I think so…but it hurts more now…" he admitted.

Sydney nodded, "I should have thought of that…" she said shaking her head.

"Sydney…you can't be prepared for every time my brain decides to have an episode…"

Sydney smiled at his reason and bravery, "I'm still sorry…"

"Not your fault…" he said.

"Not yours either…" she reminded him.

He smiled and nodded, "I know…"

Tom appeared in Vaughn's line of vision, "You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah…well, it hurts more…but yeah…"

"Ok…you wanna take a break? Do this later?"

"No, I wanna do it now…"

Tom regarded him questioningly, and then looked to Sydney as well, "Are you sure?"

Vaughn nodded, "Just do it…I'll be ok."

Sydney smiled down at Vaughn before looking up at Tom, "You heard the man…"

Tom smiled somewhat unsurely but nodded to Ryan, "K, let's set it up again…" he looked down at Vaughn, "We have to reposition you again…"

"I know."

Tom nodded and moved to reposition Vaughn on the table. Vaughn winced again, but let Tom maneuver him on the gurney. He looked down at him, "You sure?"

"Yeah," Vaughn said through gritted teeth.

"I'll be right over there…you're safe…" Sydney said before kissing him and moving away.

Tom nodded to Ryan. He moved the crane again and replaced the lead covering and then ran back to the technician room.

"Ready?" he asked.

Vaughn nodded and Sydney and Tom watched intently, both praying that this one would go more smoothly than the last.

"Ok," Ryan said, "I need you to hold your breath….now."

Vaughn held his breath and Ryan took a series of films. "Ok," he said when he was done, "Now we just have to reposition the crane one more time to get the full chest shot."

He reappeared at Vaughn's side, who was lying still with pain-laden eyes. Ryan moved the crane and then ran back to the room, "K…hold your breath…now."

Vaughn did as he was told and Ryan finished with the last set of films. "Ok, we're done…"

Sydney and Tom both came out and stood on either side of Vaughn's gurney.

Sydney smiled and kissed him, "You wanna turn?"

He nodded and Sydney and Tom helped him turn so the pain was lessened.

Tom looked proudly down at him, "That was great man…"

Vaughn smiled and Sydney beamed.

"Let's get you to a room…we'll get a new wrap on and get some more meds in you while we wait for the films…then we'll go from there, ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

Tom nodded, "I'm gonna call down, be right back."

Once he was gone, Sydney leaned over and kissed Vaughn again, "You really were great honey."

Vaughn's face scrunched into one of slight confusion, "All I did was lay here…"

"Yeah, but you did it after you had a flashback…and in pain…"

Vaughn thought a moment, "That must mean I'm getting…better?"

Sydney chuckled at the way his statement turned into a question at the end, "I would say so baby. And I'm really proud of you."

"Thanks."

Tom reappeared a few minutes later, "Ok…let's get Ryan here to help me…Ryan!?"

Ryan's head poked out of the technician lab, "Yeah?"

"Can you give me a hand here…"

"Sure," Ryan said, coming out to assist Tom, "Whatdya need?"

"We need to get him back on the gurney."

"Ok," Ryan nodded, and they gently moved Vaughn back on the waiting gurney. He groaned as the pain echoed through his body, even though they had been gentle.

Tom got him resettled on the bed so he wouldn't be in as much pain and then smiled at Sydney, "We've got a room all ready…"

The walk to the room was not as eventful as the first trip. Tom didn't make any car noises, instead just settled for quiet talking. Sydney had to smile at Tom's knack for knowing just what his patient needed.

They rode in the elevator and took turns down the maze of hallways that pervaded the hospital.  
Tom finally stopped in front of a door and pushed it open before wheeling Vaughn's gurney in the room.

It was a private room, spacious and more pleasant than the average one. Tom noticed Sydney's scrutiny, "It's the executive suite," Tom said with a wink.

Sydney smiled, "Well, I think it will do for now…"

Vaughn smiled at the interaction, but both could see the fatigue and pain that littered his features.

Tom excused himself to get help and Sydney moved to sit on the edge of the gurney, "How are you doing?"

"Mmm…not too bad…" he said with a weak smile.

"Liar," Sydney said.

Vaughn chuckled, "It hurts…and I'm really tired…"

"Yeah, just a few more minutes, we'll get you settled and comfortable…"

Vaughn nodded and yawned tiredly. Tom reentered with three nurses, covering his bases to make this last transition to the hospital bed as painless as possible.

"That was better," Vaughn admitted when they all eased him on the bed.

Tom smiled, " I thought it might…"

He let Vaughn rest a few minutes, making idle chitchat before he said, "Ok…let's get the wrap back on…get you some pain medication. Then you can rest…"

Vaughn nodded and Sydney helped Tom ease Vaughn to a sitting position. They worked together to get the new wrap on him, trying to get it on as quickly as they could.

Vaughn let the two support his frame, too tired and pain-wracked to worry about being the strong one at this point. Once they had the wrap on, they eased him back and Tom started him on IV pain medication, replacing the one that had to be removed for the trip to Radiology.

When he was done, he smiled down at Vaughn, "Ok, you get some rest now…"

Vaughn nodded and yawned, settling into the bed as the pain medication began to work its way into his bloodstream. Tom smiled and said his goodbyes and then left the room quietly.

Vaughn pulled Sydney's hand until she was sitting on the bed with him. She smiled and ran her hand through his hair. "We should give you a shave pretty soon…"

"Do it now," Vaughn said yawning.

"No, you sleep now…we'll do it later…"

"Are you gonna sleep with me?"

"I'll wait until you fall asleep, then I should update Will and Francie; before they go nuts in the waiting room."

"Ok," Vaughn said tiredly, snuggling into her side as she reclined on the bed with him. "Love you," he mumbled as his body gave in to exhaustion.

"Love you too," Sydney whispered, pressing a kiss to his head as she waited to make sure he would sleep.

Once she was sure he was sleeping, she slipped off the bed and quietly out of the room, in search of her waiting friends.


End file.
